you should also know that this is the worst thing to colour

How to Flirt: Embarrassed Boy Edition

Summary: As soon as the first ever Cold Stone Creamery opens up in London, Phil knew he had to go. However, it wasn’t the ice cream that made him keep coming back, but rather the cute employee who looks dead in the eyes whenever he has to sing the tip jar songs.
Word Count: 4,405
Warnings: Food mentions, cussing
A/N: thanks so much to @greynihilism for prompting me this!!! I honestly love this SO MUCH. And of course thanks to @snowbunnylester for listening to me shout and for telling me to match our titles bc we are disgusting soulmates. I didn’t edit this but i’m too excited about it so idgaf! Hope you like it! 

Read it on AO3!

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When a new Cold Stone Creamery opened up in London, it was the biggest thing since sliced bread. Literally everyone had to try some, to get some for themselves, that way they could boast to their friends and family how they got to try it.

Phil was guilty of this. He was a slut for only two things, and those were ice cream and new shops. So when he heard a new ice cream shop was opening up? Phil pretty much shit himself. He gathered all of his friends, sat them down, and explained the situation to them. He didn’t want to say he forced them to come with him, because he didn’t. He just calmly insisted that they come with him and didn’t let them leave the room until they agreed. No biggie.

That’s how he found himself inside of Cold Stone with Kiley, Charles, and Michael. Phil was the only one who was so excited that he couldn’t stop bouncing on the balls of his feet. His friends were chattering beside him, waiting patiently for the line to go down so they could finally order, but Phil was having trouble being patient. He wanted his ice cream and he wanted it now. There were still five people in front of him and he wanted to push them all out of the way so he could order his own ice cream and press his face to the counter glass like an annoying child.

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Six Years and Seven Days

This is pretending that Bellamy could hear Clarke talking all those years, she just can’t hear him responding, and that the ship at the end is them coming back to Earth. 

So…pain. 


Day Three

“Bellamy…are you up there? Are you alive? Is anyone alive?”

Static.

“I only woke up yesterday. At least, I think it was yesterday. I barely made it into the bunker in time, but I made it. And the computer says it’s been three days since the radiation hit, and I was so hungry I thought I might die. Please tell me you didn’t die.”

Silence.

“Bellamy, my mom was right. In a way. My face is disgusting, covered in boils. You’d be laughing at me…probably. Because she was right but so were you. I’m not dead Bellamy. I hope you aren’t either.”

His fingers slammed on the respond button, pushing it down to the point of it feeling like it would crack from the pressure.

“I’m not dead, Clarke. I’m not dead.”

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Grounding

WHAT IS GROUNDING?

Grounding is a set of simple strategies to  detach from emotional pain for example (cravings, self harm urges, emotional eating behaviour etc.) Grounding can also be a way of returning your attention to the outside world and away from yourself. In the case of dissociation.

WHY PRACTICE GROUNDING TECHNIQUES?

When you are overwhelmed with emotional pain, you need a way to detach so that you can gain control over your feelings and stay safe. As long as you are grounding, you are more likely to be able to overcome urges. Grounding ‘anchors’ you to reality.

Many people with PTSD and dissociative disorders struggle with either feeling too much (overwhelming emotions and memories) or too little (numbing and dissociation). In grounding, you attain balance between the two—conscious of reality and ability to tolerate it.

GUIDELINES:

§ Grounding can be done any time, anywhere and no one has to know.

·       §  Use grounding when you are: faced with a trigger, having a flashback or dissociating.

·       §  Keep your eyes open, look around the room, and make sure the light is good to stay in touch with the present.

·       §  Rate your mood before and after to test whether it worked. Before grounding, rate your level of

·       §  emotional pain, or your level of dissociation. Then re-rate it afterwards. Has it gone down?

·       Try not to make judgements or think negatively. The idea is to distract from the negatives.

·       §  Stay neutral—no judgments of good or bad.

·       §  Focus on the present, not the past or future.

·       §  Grounding is much more active than relaxation exercises and focuses your attention.

Grounding is deemed to be a better way of coping with PTSD and dissociative disorders than relaxation practice. As during relaxation the focus is too much within the body, which at the worst may bring on flashbacks.

WAYS TO GROUND

MENTAL GROUNDING

o    Describe to yourself in detail your surroundings: For example “The walls are white, there are three pink chairs and a blue sofa. There is a picture of a brown border collie on the wall with a gold frame around it.” You can do this out loud if appropriate, or in your head if you are in public.

o    Play a game like “Scattergories” in your head or with a friend or family member. Choose a letter of the alphabet and try and come up with as many examples of a category you choose as you can. For example C … Boys names: Christopher, Curtis, Carl, Charles etc.

o    Do an age progression. IThis can be particularly useful if you have dissociated or regressed to a younger alter or state. For example in my experiences I have an alter who is three. So I might say… Now I am four, I am at home with Mummy and Daddy and I can do (an example of an age appropriate activity) alone. Work your way up until you are back to your current age. This may not always work for little alters, but can help.

o    Describe an everyday activity in great detail. For example if you like gardening “I open the shed door and pull out the lawn mower, I connect it to a power supply and climb on. I turn the key and put it into drive….”

o    Imagine. For example make up a nice little story in your head, or out loud. “I am putting some roller skates on, and I am slowly gliding away from all my emotional suffering down a beautiful smooth lane, having fun listening to my favourite music LOUD!”

o    Say a safety statement. ‘My name is _________; I am safe right now. I am in the present, not the past. I am in _____________ the date is _____________.

·        Read something, saying each word to yourself. Or read each letter backwards so that you focus or the letters and not on the meaning of words.

·        Use humour: For example have a “Funny Memory Bank” where you store up your favourite witty moments for those detached, rainy days.  

·        Count to 100 or say the alphabet very slowly or very fast.

·        Repeat something meaningful to yourself, such as a prayer or quote. For example you could use the Serenity Prayer.

PHYSICAL GROUNDING

û Run cool or warm water over your hands.

û  Grab tightly onto your chair as hard as you can.

·       û  Touch various objects around you: a pen. keys, your clothing, the table, the walls. Pay close attention to colours, weights, textures etc.

·       û  Firmly stamp your feet on the floor, literally grounding yourself. Feel the tension of your feet against the pressure of the floor.

·       û  Carry a ground object in your pocket—a small object such as a rock, stone, crystal, bead, piece of string or cloth, or a stress ball that you can touch whenever you feel triggered.

·       û  Jump up and down.

·       û  Stretch reach upwards and pull yourself tall. Extend your arms, legs, fingers and toes.

·       û  Walk slowly, noticing each footstep.

·       û  Eat something yummy. Notice the flavours, textures and feelings that come up for you.

SOOTHING GROUNDING

·        Use Cheerleading statements, as if you were talking to a small child. For example “You are having a difficult time adjusting to these chanes, but you are doing so well. You should be proud of yourself.”

·        Think of favorites. Think of your favorite color, animal, season, food, time of day, TV show.

·        Picture people you care about. Even get a photobook made of positive pictures or pictures of people you love! Such a simple nice way to ground, and you can get A4 photo books at the moment from GroupOn for under £7!! (I in no way endorse them I just thought it was a good offer!)

·        Remember the words to an inspiring song, quotation or poem that you like or feel positively about. Maybe write out the words and decorate it for your wall.

·        Remember a safe place. Describe a place that you find very soothing it could be when you went on holiday to the beach, or walking in the woods. Or just a time you felt safe and peaceful at home in your living room or in bed.

·        Plan out a safe treat for yourself, such as a trip to a coffee shop with a friend, making a nice dinner or a bath with some nice toiletries or candles if you feel safe to use them

·        Think of things you are looking forward to in the next week. Perhaps schedule your time so you build some structure for chores and pleasurable activities. It can help to know what you are doing and also not just sit at home with nothing to do. This can cause difficulties.

WHAT IF GROUNDING DOESN’T WORK?

Practice as often as possible. Even when you don’t feel overwhelmed or dissociative. This way it will come more naturally to you when you are struggling.

Practice faster. Speeding up the pace gets you focused on the outside world quickly.
Try grounding for a Ioooong time 20 mins at least, and then repeat !!
Try to notice whether you do better with physical or mental or soothing grounding.

Create your own methods of grounding. Any method you make up may be worth much more than those you read here because it is yours.

Start grounding early in a negative mood cycle. Start when you begin to feel the early warning signs of dissociation or when you have just started having a flashback.

"But my Plot isn’t UNIQUE or BIG enough!”

One thing that I worry about is that my plot isn’t good enough. I know lots of other writers who have had this issue in the past as well, and it’s all about having confidence in yourself and your ability to tell a tale. 

The plot doesn’t have to be groundbreaking, just think of how many people get fed up of Shyamalan twist-endings. They’re clever sometimes, yes, but they’re also not what everyone ever is looking for, and when they are forced into a piece of work it is painfully obvious to anyone who really values what you’ve written. 

What matters is the telling of the story. Your plot can be exceptionally simple, and you might write one of the most compelling books of our era. 

I found one thing that helped was to look at other works, and try and break them down into their very, very simplistic terms - the bare bones, the things the author would have decided up front perhaps. The things that… if told without the wonder of the story, might have been boring. 

Like A Song of Ice and Fire, for example, which tells the stories of Political struggle against a backdrop of Ice creatures who can raise the dead and force them to attack you. It’s basically a Socio-Political zombie apocalypse, with dragons. That could have gone either way; as it was, it went amazingly. Because Martin is a master of making every character a person, and building such a rich, colourful world that we believe it. 

So, what I’ve done is looked at a very popular work that spans multiple books. Harry Potter is widely known, so this should be useful to as many people as possible. It is also praised as one of the most in depth and atmospheric works for children, young people, adults, or just about anyone, having been translated, adapted and studied over and over. 


                           HARRY POTTER BREAKDOWN

Bread and Butter

So, when I asked Google what the heck the plot of Harry Potter was, I got this;

This is what I’m going to call the BREAD AND BUTTER of the story. It’s what happens in the day-to-day of the story. It’s perhaps the introduction J. K. would have given when first sending in her manuscript. It’s also a hugely unoriginal idea. 

The concept of a young Witch or Wizard attending a magical school where they can learn their abilities has been done before, a lot. It is basically the prmise of books like EarthSea and the Worst Witch. 

So next time you think your premise is overdone or uninspired, remember that it doesn’t matter. It’s not the premise that counts, it’s what you do with it. What Rowling did with it was create an in-depth world, full of structures and rules, populated by characters we all loved, hated, felt sorry for or routed for. She also made sure to include a way for us to learn more about the world, so she made her protagonist just as unaware of the wonder and horror as all of us. 

Tea

In this case, tea is gonna’ be the conflict of the story. The main arc. Because going to a Wizard School is freaking awesome and everything, but this story needs risk. Our characters need to be in danger, and they need something to overcome. Often writers get stuck here. They have a wonderful setting and they really want to write about their character doing this or that, but what’s the main goal? What is there to overcome? 

Very simply, Rowling’s villain is a man who wishes to purify the progression of magic by weeding out those who’s blood he see’s as tainted. He is a Hitler-figure, who himself should be ‘tainted’ in his own view. That’s the villain’s GOAL. It’s clear, and simple. 

If you think your villains goal is too simple, just look at Voldemort’s goal. What makes it more complex are the many twists and turns he and Harry both have to adapt too. His many failures, as well. 

Voldemort fits into many tropes, including the bad guy ‘selling his soul’ to achieve a vain goal, the bad guy murdering the heroes’ parents, the ‘more like you than you think’ trope, where a Villain and a hero are quite similar. I especailly like that last one, because J. K. played with it. Yes, she included it, and yes she gave a magical reason as to why. 

That just shows that unique elements can be added on to overdone ideas, to make them wonderful. 

Jam and Cream

This is where Rowling turns her simple ideas into something beautiful. Whether an idea is original or not, it will not matter if the depth is not there. Jam and Cream stands for all the little things

The fact one of the most hated antagonists was only a prime player in one book but left such an impression, the fact Hermione was disliked by the main characters at first, the fact Neville was the cowardly laughing stock of the group for years. Let’s see… The fact Sybil was right about almost all of her predictions and no one believed her, thus linking her with the Mythological figure Cassandra. 

The use of diversion and tension in The Prisoner of Azkaban, the fact that Harry’s own father was rather arrogant and mean at times, yet still a good person. The moral ambiguity of characters like Dumbledore or Snape. 

And…

That isn’t even naming the things the books got wrong. Because every author makes mistakes. Yes! You’re allowed too! J. K. has Dumbledore play the ‘I’m going to withhold information from you for the sake of the plot,’ card. We are also supposed to believe Harry forgave everything Snape ever did and named his son after him because he rather fancied his mother. Many issues are left unaddressed, such as the disinterest/damn right rudeness towards Hagrid in the final years, or the silly quest over the fake Sword. 

But in the end, if the story is told masterfully, no one is going to care. 

Basically, what I’m trying to say is, if you plot is overdone, don’t worry about it. If your world feels familiar, do more to make it your own. If your villain feels like a trope, give them more twists and turns, and maybe a reason for the trope that fits your world alone. If your characters feel stale, give them more scenes that address their personality. 

You’re doing fine, and your manuscript is totally fine. If you believe in it, there’s gonna’ be at least a hundred more people who would too. 

physics doesn’t have to suck: how to enjoy and do well in your required physics classes

As someone who doesn’t intend to take a physics class ever again, I was relieved when I walked out of my second semester physics final. That said, physics doesn’t have to suck or drag your average down. 

(1) How to enjoy physics: Adjust your attitude. Physics is so cool if you actually think about it. Your attitude will dictate your experience. (2) But physics is so hard: Change the way you study and don’t give up. I did better in university physics than in high school. The content was way more difficult but it was my studying methods that made the difference.

This post is split into 3 parts: Introductory physics (very basic physics, that unit of physics you had to do in a lower level science class), high school physics (physics from an algebra-based perspective), and university physics (calculus-based physics and labs). (Obviously these overlap a lot but I needed to organize this somehow)

INFO IS UNDER THE CUT B/C THIS POST IS RIDICULOUSLY LONG

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i got you this rose and i need to know

Summary: She’s all looks, Petunia is. Tall, thin, elegant. Sheets of blonde hair frame her face, white and pink pearls adorn her pale neckline. And when her eyes squint and her teeth show—that’s when Lily knows she’s in trouble.

Word count: ~2.4k words

A/N: For the two loves of my life, who share this glorious day as their date of birth. I love you to the moon and back. @bantasticbeasts @yulbos. (Also, thank you @ shawn for letting me borrow your lyrics for the title. Could not have done this without u)

FFN / AO3

*

It’s all very complicated.

At least, that’s what she tells herself.

 

i.

They were arguing again—Lily can’t really remember what about, except that it hadn’t been exactly pretty. The second Lily’s insults became directed at her brother-in-law, an awful man named Vernon Dursley, Petunia got all angry and shrilly like usual, and then Lily’s tongue got sharper, and –well.

Her sister had wanted to make a point, and so it was only natural that when she implied Lily was unable to get a boyfriend of her own, which was—supposedly—why she was so incredibly rude to Vernon, Lily would have blurted out that she was in fact, in a relationship, thank you very much.

In hindsight, Lily reckons she should probably get a new mouth, one that waited for her to think before it started talking. Wouldn’t that be fucking great.

ii.

When Lily comes home after school one day, she finds her sister sitting at the kitchen table, flipping through a gossip magazine—either Ok! Magazine, Grazia or Marie Claire, she doesn’t really remember.

“You’re not really dating, are you, Lily?” is the first thing Petunia asks her, with her nose turned up in disgust as she stares down at her younger sister. “No respectable male would be caught dead with you.”

Lily scoffs as Petunia places down the magazine. “First of all, why do you assume it’s a guy when I’m as bisexual as they come—“

“You’re confused, is what you are—“

“—and secondly, I’m not messing with you. I have better things to do with my time than find new and exciting ways to annoy you,” she replies, rolling her eyes.

A dangerous smirk dances on Petunia’s lips, and as her eyes light up, she says, “bring him ‘round for dinner, then.”

“I will,” replies Lily, staring defiantly at her sister’s eyes, daring her to go ahead.

She watches as Petunia picks at her impeccably manicured nails. “Next Saturday, at seven o’clock. Don’t be late.”

“We won’t,” Lily snaps, her voice two octaves too high.

Petunia smiles, showing off her pearly white teeth and perfectly hydrated lips.

“Fantastic.”

iii.

She’s laying on top of Potter’s bed, with her feet hanging off from the side and her face pressed into his pillow. She lets out yet another long and pained whine, and then says, “what have I done?

“How should I know?” he replies from the leather swivel chair, biting his lip and furrowing his brown in concentration as he attempts a triple head combo on Ultimate Mecha Strike III. “The only thing you’ve done since you got her was complain about a ruined life. No clarification whatsoever.”

“It’s really bad. Like, worse than Sirius’-obsession-with-Gasolina-bad.”

He looks over at his bed and pauses the game, carefully placing the remote control on his lap.

“Get on with it, then.”

“I may have…” Lily’s cheeks are redder than her hair now, and for some reason, she can’t find it in her to face him.

“Yes?”

She gasps for air before blurting out, “I-may-have-told-Petunia-I-was-dating-someone.”

James, the idiot, throws his head back and lets out the loudest bark of laughter, one that can only be rivalled by Sirius’ that one time during the year eleven ball when they saw Dumbledore roller-blading through the venue.

“It’s not funny, Potter,” she huffs, because of course he’d revel in her agony.

“On the contrary, Evans, it’s hilarious.”

“She wants me to bring them over for dinner this weekend,” adds Lily, looking absolutely miserable, and of course, James replies by laughing even harder. “What am I going to do?”

He pauses to think for a second, furiously running his hands through his hair, when suddenly, his eyes light up.

“What?” asks Lily, mid-ponytail-adjusting.

“I could be your fake-boyfriend,” James proposes, shrugging his shoulders like it isn’t that big of a deal. (It is.)

Lily lets out a breath.

“Would you?”

“This will really annoy Petunia,” he prompts, licking his lips.

She looks down at his mouth, but shifts her attention back to his eyes before replying, “so it’s settled then.”

James stretches his hand forward. “Carved in stone.”

Lily takes it, and they both hold on for slightly longer than necessary.

“Brilliant,” she nods. “Thank you for doing this, Potter.”

“It’s no problem. I’ve always liked a good ruse.”

It’s a shame, then, that in reality Lily is completely infatuated with the bloke and would love nothing more than to grab him by the collar and shove him into the nearest closet. And, when Algernon –Potter’s cat– comes in with a bacon sandwich, it almost feels like he can sense how distraught Lily is over the whole thing.

Much later in the day—Potter invited her to stay over for dinner, because of course he did— they’re sat in his carpet, soaking up the moonlight, a bottle of rum that James nicked from Euphemia’s cabinets swinging back and forth between the pair of them.

“You were my first kiss, Potter,” Lily admits.

“You were mine, too.”

She tries convincing herself of how lucky she got, because honestly, it’s quite the perfect set-up. They’ve been mates for so long now, and she’s at his house more often than not, and he took her as his date to his second-cousin’s wedding.

Still, there’s something tugging at her heartstrings, but she vows to try her damn best to squash it. Whatever butterflies she’s got going on have got to go.

iv.

At precisely seven o’clock, Lily rings the doorbell, James at her side, holding her hand. When Petunia opens the door, he tightens his hold on it.

The house looks just like always, but tonight it feels even colder. It’s not particularly pleasant living with Petunia and her husband, but even Lily is not used to the icy blue hue that colours the kitchen. It’s the dead of winter and it almost feels like the weather is doing it on purpose. Maybe Petunia had something to do with it—she’s always liked having connections.

Petunia greets the two of them with a smile, a fake one, of course, and looks Potter up and down as if she’s testing him, as if she’s testing them. She can hear Vernon’s voice coming from the living room, rough and gravelly, and Lily hates it, hates that she feels like an outsider in her own house. James senses this, and presses a kiss on her left temple, all part of the act, nothing short of bittersweet.

They make their way to the dining table, calm and quiet, and James puts his arm around Lily’s shoulders, a silent way of telling her he’s there and she can rely on him for support.

She knows. He is her best friend, after all.

Petunia serves them meatloaf and mash, with green beans on the side. Vernon tucks right in, blissfully ignorant to Lily and Petunia’s silent argument. Vernon Dursley is not dumb, but he’s also not particularly clever, and Lily wishes that was the worst she had to say about him.

Today, however, he’s not important. What matters is that she and James make their sham of a relationship seem believable enough.

It’s harder for her than it is for him, she learns. He doesn’t have to think before reaching up to trace the back of her hand, or to flick her on the nose. Lily guesses he must have loads of practice in pretending, what with every ploy he pulls with the rest of the Marauders, his brothers in everything but blood.

And so, because he knows Petunia, James doesn’t launch into an elaborate story of how the two of them came to fall in love, and then into a relationship. Instead, he sums it up in two quick sentences, tries to act as normal as possible, and stares deep into Petunia’s eyes as if to say ‘I’m on her side.’

If Lily’s parents were here, it’d be different, he’d be different, but they aren’t. They aren’t—and well, Lily finds it best not to dwell on such things. This is what she has to deal with. This is her life now.

She is certain her sister can feel the animosity radiating from James’ body. He’s tense, and Lily can feel his leg jumping up and down in a failed attempt to let go of all the pent-up energy. She places her hand on his thigh. He looks down, and then his eyes trace the skin up her bare, freckled arm, to her exposed collarbone, to her flushed cheeks.

She’s all looks, Petunia is. Tall, thin, elegant. Sheets of blonde hair frame her face, white and pink pearls adorn her pale neckline. And when her eyes squint and her teeth show—that’s when Lily knows she’s in trouble.

*

“She saw right through us,” Lily breathes, holding her head between her hands as she crouches down on Potter’s sofa.

“You don’t believe that.”

“I do,” Lily murmurs, and then her silent sobs become louder and it doesn’t take long for her to be drowning in her own tears. It’s a good thing his parents aren’t home.

“Hey, hey, hey,” James tells her, his voice so gentle that it’s barely even there. “What’s wrong?”

She can’t really tell him, of course. Can’t tell him the way it stings, because he’s a damn good actor and she’s desperate for it to be real. It’s overwhelming, and she’s tired, and she just wants to go home, but where even is that anymore? Certainly not at the house, where she’s treated like absolute garbage, and has been for the better part of two years.

“Lily?” he asks, running his hands through his hair, making it even messier than usual, and Lily wishes it could all just stop.

“I think I’m having a panic attack,” she says, and realisation dawns upon James’ face. It doesn’t take long for him to go into full-blown nurse mode. It’s not unusual for Lily to keel over with anxiety. Now that he has a name for it, he knows how to deal with it—he’s done so before.

“Lily,” he starts, slower this time, “breathe with me, okay? We’ll count to ten.” In and out, in and out. “You’re doing great, I’m right here.”

She closes her eyes and does as she’s told, and eventually her head stops spinning and she clings onto James like he’s her only lifeline. “Thank you,” she croaks out, and he shakes his head and assures her that it was no problem.

“How can I help?” James asks, carefully sitting next to her. Lily shrugs, at a complete loss about what to do. He is, too, until an idea pops into his head, except it’s coming from a place of wishful thinking, and so ridiculous that he doesn’t know if he should share it.

Lily, of course, notices. “What is it?” she asks, biting her lip so hard it could bleed.

“We could… um…”

“Yes?” she prods.

“We could practice,” James coughs. “For when she’s around.” He can feel his flaming hot cheeks burn, but when he sees the way Lily’s shoulders relax and her eyes light up, it’s worth it.

“You don’t have to do that, James,” she tells him, in the quietest little voice. It’s sweet, and somewhat hoarse, and he’s oh so very attracted to her.

“I don’t mind.”

She bites her lip again. “Are you sure?”

“Of course. Besides,” he presses, “it’s not like we’ve never done it before.”

That was true. They’d been about fourteen at the time. It had been right after school, and they were bored out of their wits and wanted to get it over with.

“So there’s no reason for it to be awkward,” Lily replies, excitement starting to bubble in her stomach.

“None at all.”

“That’s great.”

James nods. “I’m going to kiss you know.”

And so he does.

v.

It’s been two months since the beginning of their charade. Neither of them have been able to sleep, the fact that this is only a ruse tugging at their brains, ripping at their insides. It didn’t take much to convince Petunia, to be honest. She just… walked in on one of their practice sessions and that was it. That, of course, only meant that now they absolutely had to keep it going.

Besides, it’s not like they can fake-break up to get it off their backs. No, Petunia’s annoying as is, it simply wouldn’t do to add fuel to the flame. They’re too young to be prey.

It’s the beginning of March and they’re back in his room, the colourful walls mocking their shared misery. In the midst of the strained silence, Lily hears James mutter, “I can’t do this.”

“Huh?”

“This,” he says, this time a little louder, gesturing to the space between the two of them. “I can’t keep this up anymore.”

He wouldn’t. He can’t. No.

“It was your idea!” she counters, panic starting to cloud her vision. She’s desperate, scared out of her wits that this is their downfall. She can’t lose him too, not him, she’s lost so much already.

“Yeah well,” he starts, and Lily notices how he looks about to burst, “I thought I could ignore my feelings, but I guess not, uh—“ his mouth clamps shut. He’s said too much, and there’s no turning back now.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Lily asks, the tiniest hint of hope flaring up inside her, and she’s trying to contain it, because it’s likely that she only heard him wrong, but she can’t. She can’t and it’s taking over.

“I’m in love with you.” It’s Earth-shattering. “I’m in love with you, and I can’t deal with it anymore. I can’t stand not knowing what’s real and what’s not, or if there’s anything real at all, because—fuck I wish it was, all of it—“

Suddenly, her body is flush against his. Their lips are tangled together and she’s prodding his mouth open, and it’s desperate, really, the way he’s clinging to her back and she to his neck.

And then, they slow down, and it soon becomes more laughter and smiling and teeth-clashing-against-teeth than actual kissing, but it’s fine, really, because now Lily has her answer. This, right here.

This was home.

Judgey and English

Originally posted by alinok

A/N: Okay this one is reeeeally long but i got carried away and I didn’t want any part of the request to get missed out because I tried to squish it into less than 2000 words

Request:  could I maybe request an imagine where the reader is new and she moves to riverdale from England and she starts off as a waitress at pops and befriends Jughead because she’s all little and sassy and sarcastic. Then maybe she could become a river vixen and reggie and the football team all take an interest and juggy gets all jelly because he’s developed a subconscious crush on her 

Word Count: 3,249 (god.damn.)

Warnings: Bad pick up lines, some brief angst

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5x05 Review-Part B

Oh boi this is probably going to be my biggest cophine analysis? Yeah something like that..

Well.. you have been warned

COSIMA X DELPHINE ANALYSIS : 5X05

So first things first, I want to be honest: this episode scared me before the screening.I knew from the beginning that it’s going to  be a lose-win situation.Like any episode-ship or storyline based-that is highly anticipated, there’s always the chance of underwhelming yourself because of high expectations or overexposure. I tried to be nonchalant about it but the whole excitement  and positive vibes didn’t help at all to balance my emotions..still, i can’t quite believe  that this episode was THAT good.

Cosima and Delphine were emotional, sensual, and so very desperate.Part B of my review is totally dedicated to this beautifully flawed ship.

(ps.the screencaps are mine, tho the gifs are not mine,  if there’s a problem in reposting for review-explainer purposes,don’t hesitate to msg me guys i would wholeheartedly  respect it and delete them if you want to :) )

  • THE FLASHBACK

Cos just told Del that she’s sick.I heard a lot of people saying that they found the make out scene a tiny bit awkward and anticlimatic. Well imo it  should ‘ve been exactly like that.Think about it.


Cos just learned that she’s intellectual property and she’s basically owned ( tbh i think she knew something like that was coming from the moment she learned she was a clone). She’s shocked and confused and totally freaking out. In addition to all of this came the knowledge of her sickness, a sickness  she knew  too well how it was gonna end.

Delphine reacts instinctively in Cos’s desperation and tries to comfort her in every way she knows.She gives promises she’s totally willing to pay (even if she doesn’t understand the weight of them at the moment) and pours out her heart.

Her love is palpable even if she doesn’t say it. It’s too early and everything happens so fast for them to cope.For Del, nothing matters more  than Cosima’s well-being.And she doesn’t even know why.Why would she help a girl she barely knows?Why risk her job,her life for a charming stranger?Is this rare,undefined, chemical thing that connects us,  enough to alter our everyday life?Is intuition only good enough when everything else falls apart?

Delphine is one of the brave ones.

They don’t own you.

Not your integrity, she says.

Not your  intellect.

Not your humor.

Delphine really fights for Cosima. She swallows her own worries and fears, giving  her own body as a shelter, engulfing her, protecting her, if only for the night.

Ands that’s what makes Cosima come undone.

DIRECTION

Helen Shaver’s directing style was really, magical. Totally fitting and capable of capturing a whole spectrum of feelings. From sadness, to doubt, to arousal. In a couple of seconds everything came out perfectly.The narration and  raw cuts were spot on. I loved the fact that it took a little time for Cosima to be in the moment.It felt real, natural and authentic.

Shaver’s directional choice was very interesting if you think it’s a dreamy/ subconscious memory from Cos when she’s sleeping/dozing off .Other than the main argument of cophine (you were paid to lie to me) everything else was not in sequential order. Delphine kissing her neck, hugging her, whispering to her. Everything feels out of focus and it’s like this scene is shot from Cosima’s POV. Exactly like a dream or a fainted thought with no beginning or end.

This scene.So small and unfortunately so underrated .No more than 4 seconds yet, it captured the feeling perfectly.

A bizzare feeling of happiness - totally unmatching with no coherence or  relevance to the previous scenes and still in a peculiar way, overly perfect. Oxymoron.Sadness, euphoria, arousal, all dancing together. It probably wasn’t even scripted and it’s pure Tat and Ebro working their magic.

Delphine’s face depicts so many emotions.Cosima simply mesmerizes her.Fascinates her.It’s just the way it is.Completely natural.

And then the moment we died:

Defy them.

Live your life with every ounce of passion that I know you have. They’ll never own you.

Probably the best quote out of 5x05.Sensual,defiant, rebellious.

At this moment i would like to post a quote of  Lisa Weidenfeld in regards to them:

“These two have lied to each other for the entire duration of the show, and their connection has proven to be something that overturned both their lives, often for the worse. The flashback to Cosima’s initial discovery of her patented genes, and her admission of her illness to Dephine (who is the first person she tells) also provides a glimpse into why she’s stuck with this thing so long. The bond is tied up in a heady cocktail of sex and love and rebellion and the person who was there for her at what was probably the worst moment of her life. Who wouldn’t get hooked on that?

-AV Club

really, really loved everything about this.Cosima’s worst life experience was in lockstep with her most beloved person.What a contradiction.

after Delphine’s motivational speech Cosima got hooked. I mean just look at her face.


yeah yeah i know, she’s indeed very much aroused but it’s not just that. Cosima melts for affirmation.Wants and needs desperately Delphine’s words to keep it together. Cosima has the sassy tongue and clever remarks but Delphine’s words are wild,colourful and disarming.Her mouth is her most dangerous asset.


should at this point say a big effing THANK YOU to Tatiana and Evelyne?

Cause they really did their fucking best and it showed.All i ever wanted from this episode was to feel that Cosima finally accepted Delphine and reciprocated her feelings.Body language was fucking inconceivable like WOAH DUDE! mad respect for the whole team.

  • COPHINE FINALLY REUNITED

Finally.At fucking last.Case closed.They wraped this whole “i can’t trust you” chaos.It was about bloody time.

After a whole lot of a time Cos and Del talked about their issues.Admitted their faults.Made peace with eachother

-I push too hard

-you do things without my consent

This is what they do.

Listen.The first step for a healthy relationship is to accept your faults.And that’s exactly what they did.Under those dreadful  circumstances they made a huge step forward.

They re-evaluated their faith and trust in each other.

Cosima accepted the fact that, no matter what, Delphine’s sole purpose is to keep Cosima safe.She is willing to do whatever it takes. Lie,  lose contact, kill or even be killed.She prefered to be the ‘bad guy’ and broke up with Cos just to keep her damn promise.It needs guts to do something like that.

Delphine  on the other hand has accepted the recklessness of Cosima. She knows that until this whole thing is over she’s going to live with the fear of Cosima pushing too far, going in places that she can’t help her escape (* COUGH LOCKED CAGE COUGH COSIMA BABE DEL LITERALLY LEFT FOR 5 MINUTES WHY*)

both are living with the fear of each other’s mortality, but they prefer this than nothing. if love doesn’t teach you endurance i don’t know what does tbh.

—–

I don’t know what else to say.This episode was so fulfilling in regards to Cophine and Cosima.A perfect character centric episode.Let’s see what 5x06 will bring folks.

Again thanks for reading (that was WAY TOO LONG I’M SORRY)

If You Scratch My Back... - Mercy x Sombra

Dr Angela Ziegler finds an unexpected ally in Sombra. Actually, she finds an unexpected LOT of things in Sombra. 

AO3 | FF.NET

-

It wasn’t so much a sound that woke Angela. It was a feeling, she decided, an uneasiness. The type of feeling you get when you’re driving to work and wondering if you really did lock your front door.

She opened her eyes and stared up at the familiar ceiling in her Gibraltar HQ residence (it was still so odd to be back here again), wondering what it meant. Perhaps I’m subconsciously aware I forgot to do something important? she thought, rolling over to look at her clock: 3:42am. Hmm.

There wasn’t anything she could have left on, though. And when she tried to methodically go through her evening minute-by-minute, routine-by-routine, she couldn’t pinpoint anything she’d forgotten. Her new nanite formula was refrigerated—she remembered doing that. Ana’s new bullets (secretly altered so they damaged unintended targets less) were ready to be batched in the cupboard. Even her new formula for the ‘resus pack’, as she called it, a tiny life support implant with a single dose of a chemical cocktail to automatically resuscitate you if your heart slipped into arrhythmia was safely locked in the fridge, waiting for her to continue trying to convince those difficult new directors in Ethics to let her run live tests. Honestly, she couldn’t think of what she mightn’t have done.

The uneasiness remained, though, and no amount of closing her eyes and reassuring herself everything was fine was helping at all.

Well. Perhaps she should just get up and check the lab? You know, just in case.

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modern! alarkling headanons:

- there are two windows on each side of the bed and his blinds are always down
- alina: ‘um why don’t you let some light in it’s a nice sunny day ou-’
aleksander: [laughs in that pretentious way of his like he’s been carrying the weight of the world for centuries] oh, alina, my dear alina, alina, alina… i’m ancient, alina……….. also, (alina,) it’s very aesthetically pleasing
- Old Married CoupleTM
- speaking of, they never actually marry but he tells her she has his heart and alina rolls her eyes in quiet acceptance and that’s kind of the same thing
- black sheets, dark gray curtains, glow in the dark stars on the ceiling
- he makes alina roll her eyes so much she actually develops a rare muscle tick no doctor can explain
- alina: i have this headache-
aleksander: *walks in*
alina: there it is
- they really want a pet but ofc they have to fight on this too so they end up with two: a white cat that’s the same colour as alina’s hair and a black pomeranian that literally looks like a ball of fluffy shadows
- nutella pancakes for breakfast, lunch and dinner
- alina has a perpetual frown and aleksander has a resting bitch face so you can bet there’s always a free seat for them on the train/subway
- he has nightmares too and they’re actually very violent and draining so alina just wraps her arms around him and presses her nose against his shoulder until he stops shaking and then she starts drawing lazy circles of light (warm and soothing by definition) over his naked skin to calm him down
- he’s the tall and brooding one but she’s the one people should look out for
- valentino dresses and armani suits
- aleksander praises himself on his newfound self-control and composure
- that is, until he sees alina with nothing but his shirt on and deadass forgets how to function
- sometimes he literally has to hook a finger into alina’s collar to hold her back bc yes she’s usually very quiet and patient and kind but the moment someone drives her over the edge she’s throwing hands and flip-flops (if necessary)
- everyone treats them like a married couple too?? even tho they’re not??
- shadow play!!!!!!
- snow angels
- he freckles in the sun and alina always makes fun of him
- + moles!! he’ll get like five new moles everytime he goes out so he has to walk with those giant ass rich widow hats (not all year round tho, july-august are probably the worst bc it’s just unbearably hot and sunny)
- he’s still very closed off and distant (especially in public) in front of other people but the minute he’s alone with his sunshine? he melts like an ice-cream cone on a hot summer day
- they never really say “i love you” but they just. know.
- she knows in the way he brushes her messy pixie haircut behind her ear and his hand lingers a moment too long, almost like he’s awestruck and he knows in the way she smiles at the shadows sometimes, like they remind her of him /they do/ and the extra spoon of sugar she puts in his coffee bc she knows him so well
- sometimes if alina is too tired from work she’ll make him read her fairytales bc he has a very soothing voice, simultaneously lulling her to sleep and making her acutely aware of his presence
- lush who?? they can make their own bathbombs using their grisha powers - he can make cool swirling shadows and alina can make the water look like liquid starlight
- and then they take a nice relaxing bath. together.
- he makes her shadow puppets when she’s sick (or upset/grumpy) and tells her stories his mom used to tell him when he was a kid
- alina: “*yanks curtains open* rise and shine you lazy ass it’s a beautiful day!!
aleksander: it’s literally -15 degrees and the sun’s nowhere to be seen
alina: ?? i’m here??
- (both) probably very into lana del rey

Second Chances

Words: 10.1k

Genre: Fluff / Soulmate AU

Warnings: slight description of a panic attack, swearing

Description:  Soulmate AU in which you get to see colours when you kiss your soulmate. Dan has a particularity.

Read on AO3 / @cuddlesphan made a moodboard for this and I’m crying


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Moving On

pairing: Lin x reader

warnings: alcohol. swearing. SADNESS.

summary: TEN moments in the journey of moving on

I rose from the dead to bring you all some PAIN. It took me a while to get this done because I wanted to get it right. A big thanks to @l-nmanuel for being my sunshine, @linslovelylocks for helping me out with the Pain, and @gratitudejoyandsorrow for making me read Love & Misadventure (which inspired this fic). (@imkindapassionate-kindasoulless)

words: 2,592


ONE (play is all it takes for her to fall in love)

You remember seeing him for the first time in a school play, all untidy black hair and dark wild eye. He was confident, almost arrogant in the way he commanded presence onstage. You ran to him after the play to congratulate him on his excellent performance.

You expected a haughty smirk from the lead actor, but instead he grinned bashfully and admitted that your pieces in the school magazine was always the highlight of his Tuesday.

“If only I was as good a writer as you are, I could write the greatest play in the history of ever,” he had said.

Just for a moment there, you saw the bleeding edge of insecurity underneath his sunny exterior. All it took was an exchange of numbers, a series of texts overnight, and by the next day, the two of you were already best friends.

TWO (people play acting. or are they?)

Lin is pacing the length of his bedroom, looking absolutely terrified for his audition tomorrow.

“I wish I could help,” you say absently, editing your article on your laptop. His head immediately snaps to you.

“Help me act out some scenes?”

You raise your eyebrows at him. He grins, pulling on his ‘but-I’m-your-best-friend’ face. You’ve never been able to say no to that smile. He grabs your laptop from you and types something, then shows you a list of prompts. So you spend 5 hours switching between at least 20 different characters, ranging from an angry grandmother to a hot girl he meets at a bar. You both turn to your laptop to see the final prompt.

‘A and B are best friends. A’s reaction to B getting married. ’

“Congrats,” you say, turning to him, already in character.

“That’s a lie.” He gives a mirthless laugh.

“I’m not! Congratulations,” you repeat, wondering where he was trying to steer the script.

“You’re lying! Why aren’t you happy for me? What are you trying to say?” he said fiercely, his black eyes boring into you.

“I’m trying to say that I’m in love with you!” you yell.

Right after the words leave your mouth, your heart stops. That isn’t part of the prompt. Your feelings aren’t supposed to get tangled with your improvisation. Wait, your feelings? For him?

“You have no right to say that just before I’m getting married,” Lin hisses.

“I’ve tried, you idiot. You think I want this?” you snap.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do anything about it,” he says, looking down. Your heart drums against your chest, and then you grin.

“Aaaand, scene.”

THREE (times he rewrote the script and it was still rejected)

He slumps down in the seat next to you, everything in his movement looking drained. You ask him if anything is wrong, but he just shakes his head mutely. You try again, taking his hand in yours. And for some reason, he tells you.

“My script was rejected,” he says quietly. “I thought I already knew rejection, but not this. I put everything into this. I rewrote the entire thing 3 times.”

You squeeze his hand. “Keep rewriting. You have all the time in the world.”

His smile is sad, and grateful, and something in your heart tightens. You smile back at him, hoping that he can’t see the butterflies in your stomach. You stare at his brown eyes. They aren’t the colour of the ocean, but you can drown in them anyway.

“Mi corazón,” he says, smiling at you.

“My nerd,” you reply affectionately.

(at) FOUR (a.m. he decides to get a tattoo because he can’t stop thinking about someone)

Lin gets paired up with Natalie, the future valedictorian, for a project. You see them and the first thing that you feel is a loud, stinging pang of jealousy, but in the back of your mind, there’s a click that tells you they’re meant to be. You ignore it and keep it to yourself, because that’s what you do best.

He texts you. ‘hey i’m getting a tattoo of a mic, come with?’

You accompany him to the tattoo parlor as he gets the mic. He’s over the moon as you drive home.

“What do you think?” he asks, trying to catch a glimpse of his tattoo for the first time.

“Personally, I wouldn’t get a tattoo that says daddy in cursive, but-”

“What the fuck?” he yells, wheeling around to try to see his back in the mirror.

“I’m kidding! Who inspired you to get a mic anyway?”

His face transforms into a wide, carefree smile, and his entire being relaxes. “Natalie.”

You turn up the volume of the radio so he doesn’t hear your heart breaking.

FIVE (Gordon Ramsay insults. technically, the last one isn’t an insult.)

You’re there when Lin finally kisses her.

It’s her birthday, and she tries to pass it off as low-key by calling it ‘just a barbeque’, but the truth is that it’s a very expensive beach party. You and Lin are piling food into your plate, trying to fit in with the rich kids by shouting Gordon Ramsay-esque insults.

“The pork is so raw it’s still singing Hakuna Matata!” you yell, stabbing it and taking a big bite.

“Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn’t fucking cook it!” He says in a terrible British accent.

“Maybe you should give this piece of meat to the gods; I hear they like burnt offerings.”

He puts both hands on your cheeks. “What are you?”

“An idiot sandwich,” you say, faux tearfully. The two of you cackle in amusement, stealing bits of food of each other’s plate. Lin is about to launch into Ramsay mode again when Natalie approaches the two of you.

“Hey, guys,” she says happily.

“Hello, linda,” Lin interjects quickly, taking her hand. It’s a joke he always uses when trying to pick up girls - calling them linda so they’d say “my name isn’t Linda” and he can reply “linda means beautiful in Spanish” and watch them turn red.

Instead, a dusty pink blush spreads across her cheeks. “Quiet, you,” she laughs. Lin’s eyes light up in disbelief, like ‘holy shit, this amazing girl knows Spanish, she just got even hotter’. His eyes flit to you for permission, and you give him a big thumbs up.

You watch as Lin walk Natalie to the edge of the water, and they sit down. Gently, he puts his hands on her cheeks and says: “What are you?”

Natalie grins. “The love of your life?”

Even from a distance, you can hear Lin’s warm laugh, fading away as he leans in to kiss her. Everyone ceases their conversation to cheer and whistle at them. When Lin pulls away, he’s wearing a smile similar to a Cheshire cat’s.

Daniel, Lin’s roommate, lunges forward and pushes Lin towards the water. Natalie’s friends catch on to the idea and push her towards the water until the two of them are knee deep in water. You laugh along with everyone, until the crowd starts to dissipate. You return to your room.

It’s past midnight when Lin tiptoes into your room to grab fresh clothes that he keeps in your drawer. “Good night, Lin,” you whisper as he passes your bed.

He gasps. “Shut up, (Y/N).”

“I’m happy for you.”

“Shut. Up.” You can’t see his face in the dark, but you’re pretty sure he’s smiling as he leaves the room.

SIX (songs that aren’t even dedicated to her)

The worst thing about being in love with your best friend is that you can’t tell your best friend about it.

Your heart skips a beat when Lin texts you. ‘heya i’m making you a mixtape! it’s cute and adorable and fluffy (like me)’

You reply within seconds. ‘hm, what’s it about?’

‘SHIT sorry that message was for natalie!! actually, since you are a fellow pretentious fuck when it comes to music, can you help me out with the mix?’

‘sure. tell me about it.’

‘okay so i already have Perfect by Ed Sheeran, for obvious reasons, and Don’t You Forget About Me. what else?”

‘Ignition (Remix)!!!!’

‘are you fucking kidding no way’

‘come on, dude.’

‘fine. I’m also feeling The Fray. How To Save A Life?’

‘no wtf that song is mainstream and irrelevant. Heartbeat.’

‘good one. 505?’

‘YES. also. Cherry Wine.’

‘It’s done! It’s a mini-mix, i’m putting together a longer and better one for her birthday. THANK YOU, wingwoman.’

‘send it to me for prooflistening!!’

My Only Sunshine, by Lin-Manuel

Heartbeat - The Fray
505 - Arctic Monkeys
Ignition (Remix) - R. Kelly
Perfect - Ed Sheeran
Cherry Wine - Hozier
Don’t You Forget About Me - Simple Minds

‘nice job, cabrón.’

SEVEN (billion people in the world and she chose to fall in love with the one who doesn’t love her back)

“Natalie’s parents are thinking of saying no if Lin proposes to her,” Chris announces, placing a plate of eggs in front of you.

“What?” you splutter, dropping your spoon. “No. The wedding has to happen.”

Chris gives you a long, measured look. “I thought their wedding being cancelled would save you from a great deal of pain.”

“It doesn’t matter if I tear my own heart in two. Because if Lin is happy, then it is worth it-”

“God!” Chris’ eyes narrows. “What could possibly be worth it?”

“Everything that I have lost!” you shout. “Lin!”

Chris breathes in and out slowly, and there’s something like pity in his eyes when he looks at you. “7.5 billion people in the world and you had to choose the one who doesn’t love you back.”

EIGHT (bottles of beer and she still misses him)

“What’s up, big shot?” you slur, holding the phone in one hand and a bottle of cheap beer in the other.

“Fuck,” he exhales, realising you were drunk. “I’ll be at your place in 5 to make sure you’re okay.”

“You’re so far away, Lin,” you complain. “Souls don’t understand the notion of distance, you know that? They only know how right it feels to be with one another. I miss you even when you’re just a room away, because my soul only feels the absence of yours.”

He laughs, and through the haze of alcohol you feel warmth spread through you, like a sun peeking from behind the clouds. “You only miss me when you’re drunk.”

“I’m drunk because I miss you,” you say softly. A beat of silence passes, and time stands still. You wonder if he hung up.

“Natalie’s calling.” The sound of her name shatters the moment like glass. You can’t find it in you to reply.

“Don’t do anything stupid until I get there,” he jokes. His voice is rough, scratchy, and he mutters a goodbye before hanging up.

True to his word, he appears 5 minutes later in your doorstep. He notices the empty bottles of beer on the floor and sees you lying down on the couch. Without hesitation, he gently pushes you to make space for him and lies down next to you.

You grin sleepily up at him. “Thanks for coming, but I’d rather sleep.”

“Sleep, mi corazón,” he whispers softly, pulling you closer to him. You know that he isn’t going to stay the night, but it’s still a slap to your face when he’s gone in the morning leaving nothing but a note taped to a glass of water.

For the first time, you feel white-hot jealousy flare up in you. All you wake up to is a hastily scrawled note, while Natalie gets to wake up to the life-sized, walking, talking Lin: to the sizzle of him cooking bacon, to his raspy humming, to his brown eyes half-lidded with sleep, to him.

(he’s on cloud) NINE

“(Y/N). You should fall in love. It’s amazing.”

He sounds drunk, but he actually isn’t. Drunk on love, maybe. It’s a joy for you to see your best friend like this, but it hurts like hell to see him like this because of another girl. It’s like he can’t stop talking about her, he always slides her name into every single sentence, twisting every conversation to relate it back to her.

You become so worried about losing your best friend that you check his phone to see what your name is in his contacts. You breathe a sigh of relief when it’s still mi corazón. You look for Natalie’s contact. Mi alma.

Mi corazón, my heart. You’re his heart; you know what he likes, what he hates, you see all his dark and you love his light.

Mi alma, my soul. She is his soul; he lives and breathes her, she sees the stars in his smile, everything he does is either with her, because of her, or for her.

TEN (years after meeting him and she finally lets him go)

Lin appears in your house with two cups of coffee. “I’m thinking of proposing to Natalie,” he says, after taking a long sip from his cup.

“Do it,” you cheered, grinning. He looks at you, searching for any kind of falseness, but there is none.

“I- Are you sure?”

“Yes. When I met you, I thought you hung all the stars and the moon in the sky. But I came to realise that you are just like me. You know the shape of my soul and the words of my heart. You’re my first love, Lin, and you always will be. But I deserve someone who loves me back, so I can be the poem instead of the poet I’ve always been. I’ve been stuck in your orbit for years, and this is me breaking free.”

He bites his lip and stares at the ground. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you say softly, pulling him into a hug. You savor the moment, drawing it out for as long as possible, and then you pull away. The smile that he gives you afterwards is worth everything.

The next day, you’re out at dinner with Natalie, and you can tell that she has something to say by the way she cuts her chicken into smaller pieces than is necessary. “I think Lin’s going to propose to me.”

“Really?” you enthuse. “That’s great!”

“Any words from his best friend?” she asks.

You’re silent for a long moment, trying to find the words. “Take care of him. He looks like he has enough love to give to everyone, but sometimes he needs love as well. Be honest about his work. He enjoys criticism. He’ll sometimes think he’s the dullest of the bunch, when in reality he’s the brightest. With every word, pen stroke, and touch, you’re going to fall deeper in love with him. Please, just love him with everything you have.”

She holds your gaze, and between the two of you, there was some kind of resolve; an understanding. She knows. And she knows you’re moving on.

“Oh, and Natalie?” you ask, just before the moment fades.

“Yeah?” she says, with a smile that eases your mind. Not many people deserve Lin, but she definitely does.

“Don’t you fucking dare break his heart.”

Mawiage

-Read on ff.net here

@bleebug. A little extension of the pancake moment. And for @spartanguard for chest hair comments. Because.  And for: @this-too-too-sullied-flesh on her birthday.

Rating: M

He really doesn’t care.

The Charmings have dragged them all throughout town for the past few weeks and pestered him with questions he seldom had an answer to. What kind of flowers did he like? What was his favourite cake flavour? What colour did he want to wear? (Okay, that one he had cared, but he thought the answer of black was bloody obvious.) Who did he want to invite?

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ice cream au part five

other parts here

Andrew’s lips are cold, Neil thinks. They’re also sweet and a little sticky and taste vaguely like the chocolate-strawberry swirl ice cream they had been sharing, which should be gross but for some reason is negligible when Andrew’s fingers are tangled in Neil’s hair and their mouths are pressed together.

He pulls away first, because he’s feeling a little dizzy. Somehow, between Andrew’s freezing hands on his face and the intensity of his stare, the world steadies. Neil leans in to place a soft kiss right along his jaw.

“You like me.”

The fingers in Neil’s hair tighten for a moment before loosening.

“You’re an idiot,” Andrew tells him.

“But you like me. You want to kiss me.” A bubble of delight floats in Neil’s chest. He’s pretty sure he’s smiling, and becomes completely certain when Andrew’s hand comes up to cover his mouth.

Andrew’s ears are red, colour splatters across his nose and cheeks. “Shut up.”

Tugging away Andrew’s hand, Neil leans in and says, “Make me.”

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there on a balcony in summer air

LOL I CANT COPE WITH SADNESS SO OBVIOUSLY I WROTE UTTERLY MEANINGLESS JAKE AND AMY WEDDING FLUFF INSTEAD OF ANYTHING USEFUL

TITLES FROM TAYLOR SWIFT, DAN GOOR CAN FIGHT ME PERSONALLY, I HOPE THIS SOOTHES EVERYONES SOULS A BIT LIKE IT SORT OF DID MINE

shoutout to @parlegee for proofreading, ur the number one

Considering how much the general universe seems to specifically have it out to ruin his life, Jake thinks that he’s been having a pretty amazing day so far.

Of course, it is his wedding day, so it’s inherently supposed to be a good one, unless he’s the generic fiance from all those rom coms who isn’t right for spunky Jennifer Garner and Matthew McConaughey is scheduled to burst through the doors roughly three hours ago yelling I object. Jake’s pretty sure that that movie doesn’t actually exist, but the concept of it is kind of terrifying, because what if he is Random Wrong Fiance No. 23, except instead of Matthew McConaughey ruining things, the ceiling falls in, or Amy gets abducted by aliens. Or worst, Charles gets abducted by aliens. Or even worst, Gina’s baby gets abducted by aliens.

That would definitely be the worst of all, Jake thinks, because Gina would never let any of them forget that her progeny was probably the youngest person ever to do space travel.

Jake’s point, he thinks, getting back on topic – he should really be concentrating on his dancing, because he and Amy nearly just crashed into Holt and his mom, which, wow, that’s making him emotional, look at the ceiling, Jake – God, anyways. There’s gotta be a rule, somewhere, is what Jake’s trying to say. A rule, somewhere in the universe, right, that wedding days are off limits for terrible awful no-good bad stuff to happen. If it’s not a rule already, he’s making it a rule.

Or like, maybe Amy could make it a rule, because she’s a Sergeant now, so she has more authority than him.

Something – something like that.

That being said, it’s not like the universe hasn’t tried to derail this monumentous occasion (yes Amy, monumentous is a word, I didn’t mean monumental, I looked it up on the dictionary app – yes a reliable one, no, my voice is not cracking like it does when I’m telling a lie –)

It’s not like there haven’t already been some hardcore attempts at day-derailing, is all he’s saying, so maybe the rule thing is just wishful thinking on Jake’s part. Thus far, from eight forty-two this morning all the way until exactly two minutes ago when Charles burst into tears over the remains of the wedding cake again, approximately five near-catastrophes have occurred. At least five. If not more. Jake can’t remember if there were more or less, so he makes a mental list, just to be sure.

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‘Ello, studyblr! Maths (or Math, whatever) can be quite / extremely / obscenely frustrating at times and very simple at others and it’s sort of hard to find a bridge between that. You can’t exactly cram for it either or study in under a week for finals so after flunking my first term epicly, I came up with a strategy of sorts and now my grade’s an A+ (yay!!). Anyway, thought I’d share ‘cause this shit could have saved me a lot of tears.

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RFA+SV soulmate AUs

In a universe where everyone has a soul mate, but there are multiple ways of finding them.  There are simpler, more common ways, like a red thread, or a tattoo of their name, and then there are more difficult ones.

If anyone cares, I stole most of these from THIS PERSON.  …I love soulmate AUs.  I might write some of these out properly…maybe.

If anyone piggybacks off of these, let me know?  I wanna read it!

Rated M because of Zen.  Thanks, Zen.  You’re too sexy, Zen.  Stop it, Zen.  You ruin everything, Zen.

Also, spoilers if you haven’t played their routes.

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Confused Papa // Min Yoongi

Originally posted by vminv

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary//Request: Anonymous said: Hi there! I was wondering if I could request some domestic Yoongi? I read a lot of great smut fics (yours included) but I’m really feeling gross and fluffy haha! I love your writing keep up the great work!

Your husband Yoongi takes a trip to the store with your 1 year old son and get’s a little confused when it comes to buying diapers!

Language Note: Yeobo = a term of endearment used usually between married couples. Translates as something like “honey” ^_^


Pushing the trolley-cart with your 1 year old son Shiwoo safely strapped in, Yoongi made his way down the supermarket aisles while doing the weekly grocery shop. Usually, it would have been you in place of him, but today you were currently attending a busy meeting at your company, so your lovely husband volunteered himself to do it for you seeing as it was his day off. “How hard could it be?” he thought while on his way to the store – just a 10 minute walk on foot from your house with Shiwoo cooing and laughing in his buggy, strolling along and having the time of his life with his Daddy.

“Okay…we got all of the food…now we just need to get your diapers and baby mush, little man” Yoongi reached into the baby seat in the trolley, ruffling Shiwoo’s thick, black hair and beaming down into his brown eyes that he often compared to as ‘huge saucers’ from his Mummy. Shiwoo gurgled back in delight, making incoherent sounds and words up into Yoongi’s face while grabbing his own toes and playing with them, making Yoongi’s heart swell in his chest as he turned the corner down into the baby aisle.

“This should only take us a few minutes, then we can go home and start making dinner for when Mummy gets back. You’ll help me, right Shiwoo?” Yoongi cooed, making kissy faces down into his son’s face and proceeding to engage in baby talk that no other person could understand unless they themselves were a parent also. Yoongi was under the impression that buying the necessary baby items would have been a piece of cake, but upon taking a closer look at all of the brands of diapers, he began to lose hope.

“What’s the difference between the pink ones and the blue ones? Is it stupidly gender related? But wait…why are there yellow ones too?” he said out loud, causing several passing mothers with their babies to look at him and giggle silently before going about their business. He took no notice however, being so engrossed in trying to figure out and remember which ones you usually bought. He stood up, pulling the shopping list out of his pocket and looked down to see just ‘diapers’ written underneath ‘pureed baby food – red jars’. He put his hand to the back of his neck, rubbing it while furrowing his eyebrows together. He had never even thought about having to decide between different brands – did Shiwoo need extra dryness protection? Or did he need longer lasting soft comfort? Did it matter what colour they were? Yoongi let out a disgruntled sigh, letting his jaw go slack while slightly pouting his lips together – the face he often made when he was frustrated or irritated; the face you so happened to fall in love with. He decided that enough was enough, pulling his phone out of his pocket and leaning over the handle of the trolley, letting Shiwoo play with his free hand as he dialled your number – praying that you would at least be out of the meeting by now.


“Thank you very much Mr. Tomille – I’ll be sure to send that email as soon as I get home! Have a safe journey” you waved your associate off as he got into his car with his assistant. It had been a long three hour meeting filled with headaches and lots of disagreements, but you really pulled through for your team and secured a great deal for your division – making you feel on top of the world as everyone congratulated you. You made your way back into your office, picking up your handbag and coat to walk out of the door, when you seen that you had 4 missed calls from Yoongi.

“Oh shit” you breathed out, feeling panic set in as you fumbled to call him back. Your mind immediately went to the worst possible thing that could have happened and believed it to be true as you heard the call pick up on the other end.

“Yeobo, are you okay? Is Shiwoo okay? What’s wrong?” you stammered, feeling your heart thump in your chest as you began quickly walking out the front door of your office building on to the street.

“Everything’s fine (Y/N), don’t worry. We’re still at the supermarket” you heard him say calmly along with the faint familiar sound of the bustling store in the background. You breathed a heavy sigh of relief, feeling the state of panic slowly departing from your body as you unlocked your car doors and got in to the drivers seat, taking your heels off and replacing them with flat shoes for driving.

“You’re still at the store? Why? Sorry for not answering you but I was still in the meeting.” You said as you hooked your Bluetooth piece to your ear and set the phone in the handset, hearing Shiwoo gurgling from the other side of the phone and smiling to yourself.

“Okay, this is gonna sound so stupid but what diapers am I supposed to get for our Shiwoo? There’s like, a billion different kinds here. Why are there so many?” he chuckled, making you laugh out loud at how cute your husband was. You imagined the look on his face upon being overwhelmed by so many diaper brands while he asked Shiwoo for his advice on which ones to get.

“Oh baby, I should have been more specific in my note. Get the ‘Huggies’ brand – the ‘extra dry more play’ box. They’re white with blue stripes on the edges. Can you see them?”

Yoongi looked around for a few seconds, before spying the correct box that was sitting in front of him the entire time as he looked back at Shiwoo who was as usual, giving him a beaming, gummy smile.

“I got them yeobo, thanks! Alright, we’re gonna finish up here and we should be home soon. Where are you?” he stood up, flinging the diapers into the trolley before reaching over to the other side of the aisle and grabbing the baby food.

“I’m on my way back now. See you at home?” you smiled, hearing Yoongi’s deep chuckle as you stopped at a red light, watching 5 or 6 school kids walking across the road on their way home from school. Your heart surged in your chest at the thought of having more babies with Yoongi and being able to watch them walking to and from school by themselves in the future that you almost began crying right then and there.

“Yeah, but don’t even think about starting dinner when you get in. Me and Shiwoo are making you jjigae tonight – so just put your feet up and be ready for our kisses when we get home” he said softly into the phone as he curled his finger underneath Shiwoo’s chin, tickling him and making him giggle. You took off again once the light turned green, smiling with gross, unbelievable endearment for your sweetheart of a husband as you nodded and shifted gears.

“Alright then, I’ll let you two boys do all the work then. I could get used to this you know” you replied playfully, hearing Yoongi giggle as he approached the checkout to pay for all the groceries.

“See you at home baby, I love you”.

how to develop your style

I got a mail with this question and instead of working on some reviews for the client, I wrote quite a long answer for it. I thought that it might be helpful for someone so here it is:

Bear in mind that probably every artist will have a different answer to this and there’s no such thing as one correct recipe for finding a style. This is just my opinion based on my experience.

1st and the most important thing is to know your basics. Developing a style should come second after developing your skills. Eg. if you want to draw characters you should start with learning all about properly drawing human figure, anatomy, movement, expression, and so one. And you should learn it as much as you can from life and from photos, not from other artist’s works. If your base is strong, if you feel comfortable with your skill, then start to deriverate it into creating your own style. If you start playing with the figure without basics, you’ll end up with a developed style full of mistakes and at this point it will be hard to correct them. So if you want to draw something with your own style, first study it. Study as hard as you can. Remember that you’ll probably never be perfectly happy with your skill, I don’t think any artist is, and you’ll be learning to draw for your whole life. But you want to be at the point where you feel you know the subject, when you’re comfortable with it and ready to push it forward. When I decided years ago that I want to draw portraits, I started drawing them all the time. And it wasn’t just drawing, I was measuring, studying, checking all distances between elements until the point where I knew them by heart. And years after that, I made a decision that I don’t just want to draw perfect portraits, I wanted to make illustrations with characters and make them unique, make them my own. So having this base, I could start changing things, playing with features and actually making my own characters from elements I already knew how to draw. Now I have a different goal when it comes to what I want to draw, and even though I’ve been drawing for many years, I have to go back to step one. I have to study the thing I want to be good at, to later put it into my works and make a style out of it once again. And this cycle never ends but it definitely gets easier. It’s easier to simplify something complicated than build something elaborate from something simple. The same comes to drawing. It’s easier to simplify your style based on perfect skill than build a perfect skill from a simple style. That’s why so many artists who have a very simple style that might look like kindergarden drawing also have lots of amazing realistic drawings and studies in their archives if you start digging deeper. Of course, not all of them.Alternatively, your style will just gradually develop itself while you’re working on your skill.

2nd thing is to study what you like. If you have your base and you struggle with finding your own style but you can point out artists that you love, study them. But here is important thing: Don’t just copy their works. Study. Try to understand, do it consciously, write down things that you particularly love in their style, find out what is it that makes you love their style. This way you’ll have an understanding of what you like and you can make a decision what do you want to incorporate into your style. You can just pick some things and try them. If you like how someone uses colour in their works, break down their palette. Check it with colour theory, find out what is it that makes this particular palette speak to you, shift it, change it, pick colours that you love and then try it yourself. If you like someone’s linework, study it, draw like them, see how it works with your own hand, see if you’re comfortable with it, feel it and then try it in your own original work. And slowly, you’ll pick up things that feel good and they will become elements of your style.Honestly, it’s really hard to come up with something original that was never done before, so there’s nothing wrong about building your own thing based on other existing things, that’s how everyone does it, consciously or not.

And 3rd, don’t beat yourself up if you feel like you don’t have a style. You’ll always be the last person to notice that you actually have a style. I don’t know how it works, really, but just keep that in mind. I still feel that I don’t have a style, even though lots of people say that they can clearly see it. But there’s nothing wrong about it because it keeps you going forward, searching and pushing your limits. The moment you settle on something because you feel like this is it, you stop growing. And that’s the worst thing you can do. Stay curious, keep going forward, one foot in front of the other. Even if you’re going slow, if it’s forward, everything is fine.

6

So. WOW. Yes, the latest Zesty episode is everything I feared. And WORSE (before you ask: no, I don’t think the worst bit is the Gay Pride Armatus, it’s actually kinda funny, and I don’t think the worst bit is what this post will be about, either. For me, it’s definitely Mikleo being reduced to a) armatizing with Alisha for like 3 seconds, and b) screaming Sorey’s name. Btw, chill, boy, you can heal him, remember?).
Anyway.
This episode fucking spoilered a major Berseria endgame plotpoint. Luckily (?), I accidentally spoilered myself with that one months ago already by curiously browsing TV tropes and the Tales wiki (there’s also one sliiightly spoilerific page in the third volume of the manga…), so ToZX was actually late to the spoiler party… I never wanted to be spoilered, though. So:

If you didn’t finish Berseria AND Zestiria yet or have already been accidentally spoilered, like me, anyway, you may not want to read my comments or click the stupid images in my post here.

For everybody else: so, now that Maotelus’ identity is out of the bag, I figured nobody would care if I scribbled stupid Zestiria post-game doodles shitposts. YES OF COURSE IT’S GODDAMN GAME-VERSE, THE ANIME SHOULD GO TO HELL AND NEVER RETURN ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH

Zaveid would totally want to know all embarrassing details of Sorey’s Human Life As He Recounted It in His Sleep ™, and Edna would point out that it would take 17 years, and she doesn’t want to spend the next 17 years of her life listening to gross-things-that-the-narrator-isn’t-even-aware-of-being-gross.

I apologize for a few things:
1) spoiling anybody who didn’t know yet that Laphi=Maotelus, I’m trying to prevent it by tagging
2) I still haven’t touched Berseria, so I know lots of things about Laphi, but I don’t know everything (I know that I like him already), please feel free to improve his lines to be more in character! (no honestly, please do)
3) DOODLE SHITPOST TIME IS BACK. I’m really sorry. But it’s happy shitposting, that counts for something, right? I actually never got around sorting my own headcanons what post-game Sorey would actually look like, because the silhouette on the last page of the manga looks pretty much… unaltered except a bit taller/older, but I want him to become a seraph, so let’s pretend his hair was platinum blonde now and had colourful tips. Except the sketch is not coloured. Anyway, my reasons are: a) Sorey becoming a seraph is actually the most probable thing to happen, I like it if happy things are likely b) my heart yearns for the sappiest and happiest happy ending possible, so seraph Sorey it is. And for the same reason he also has to retain all his memories, if not, Laphi will now be able to help him out.
/btw more headcanon time (nothing new here, just taking sides in headcanon wars): a) his element is TOTALLY lightning. b) He’s still taller than Meebo. Meebo’s not amused but he gets by. Maybe he’ll learn someday that short is totally beautiful and adorable. c) Laphi is totally responsible for seraph!Sorey, so Mikleo will totally worship the badass baby god from now on. Basically, I always assume that all good things are Laphi’s doing.

/someday these days I’m gonna watch a Berseria playthrough, gotta love Laphi

/I should sleep and actually work