you said you would never be

Growing up with an emotionally abusive mother still affects me as an adult. In an abusive home you normalize cowardice as a child within yourself and you never really learn how to speak for yourself. Just requesting things or stating my point of view casually rarely ever happened for me growing up. I was always afraid something I said would trigger my mom and make her upset. Now at 23 I still struggle with being open and saying what I need. It affects my relationships and friendships because when something I don’t like is happening, I can never just call it out there and then. I stay in it and let it pent up inside me and then just viciously explode one day to the shock of the person I’m dating or my friend. I’ve lost many people from my life because of this and it just hurts. I always say I’ll try to do better and I do try, but it’s like this is who I am and it’s gonna take lots of training to change and be better.

Imagine...Curing Vampire Dean

Originally posted by devoiddean

Request: Can I get a request about Dean where he turns into a vampire on a hunt and he has a hard time controlling himself around the reader? And they have to get a cure and stuff?

Pairing: vampire!Dean x reader

Keep reading

Sean Lennon & Lana Del Rey - Tomorrow Never Came

Hey, what you doing?
Not a lot
Shaking and moving
In a local spot
Baby don’t ask me why
Don’t ask me why

Lay, Lady lay
On the side of a paradise
In the Tropic of Cancer
‘Cause if I had my way
You’d would always stay
And I’ll be your tiny dancer, honey

I waited for you
In the spot you said to wait
In the city, on a park bench
In the middle of the pouring rain
'Cause I adored you
I just wanted things to be the same
You said to meet me there tomorrow
But tomorrow never came
Tomorrow never came

[Sean Lennon:]
Hey, what you thinking?
Penny for your thoughts?
Those lights are blinking
On that old jukebox
But don’t ask me why
Just swallow some wine

Stay, baby stay
On the side of a paradise
In the Tropic of Cancer
'Cause if I had my way
You’d would always stay
And I’ll be your tiny dancer, baby

[Sean Lennon & Lana Del Rey:]
I waited for you
In the spot you said to wait
In the city, on a park bench
In the middle of the pouring rain
'Cause I adored you
I just wanted things to be the same
You said you’d meet me out there tomorrow
But tomorrow never came
Tomorrow never came

[Sean Lennon:]
Roses are in your country house
We play guitar on your barn
And everyday felt like some day and I
[Lana Del Rey:]
I wish we had stayed home
And I could put on the radio
To our favorite song
Lennon and Yoko
We will play all day long
Isn’t life crazy I said
Now that I’m singing with Sean
Wow, oh

[Sean Lennon & Lana Del Rey:]
I could keep waiting for you
In the spot we always wait
In the city, on the park bench
In the summer, on the pouring rain
Honey don’t ignore me
I just wanted to be the same
You said you loved me like no tomorrow
I guess tomorrow never came
No, no, no
Tomorrow never came

anonymous asked:

not the same anon but what i think they are trying to say is that knowing sansa has flaws and wanting to talk about them doesn't make you an anti. acting like her flaws don't exist or refusing to talk about them doesn't make you any more pro sansa.


“Please try to understand. I came from a cushy, average, normal life. This whole thing–it’s overwhelming! And quite frankly, it’s freaking me the hell out.”

Tension was hanging heavily in the air between you like an ominous cloud. You could see Dean steeling himself against your words, putting on a face that dismissed it and said he was fine.

And in your head your mind continued to race along so fast that you were worried one of the thoughts would spill right out from between your lips and tell him the truth; that you were leaving because trying to be more with Dean was terrifying, and so was the thought of things staying the way they are.

You didn’t know that in his mind the same thing was happening. He was afraid of it being a mess, afraid of it ruining the connection you already shared, but more afraid of it never being anything else.

No, it’s not the same as making Harry’s album about Kendall. Harry never said those fucking words. They were an added bonus from a journalist who interpreted his words like that. And it was one interview. Harry’s promo was about Harry (his stunts were minimal, stupid and didn’t reach the general public almost at all, THANK GOD). Louis’ promo is about everyone (and I mean EVERYONE, not just the stunts) but him.

anonymous asked:

Don't you think the insecurity and desire for approval goes both ways? I'm not convinced Sansa's as confident in having Jon's respect as you are. "Would that be so terrible?" sounded like a vulnerable, heartfelt plea for respect. I understand Jon's pov, truly, and it's not my intention to bash him, but that scene read very much to me like TWO insecure people begging each other for approval, with one sincerely trying to give it, and the other, rather coldly, withholding it.

Oh, I definitely do, Anon! And I never said she was. What I did say was:

Sansa seems to have overcome most of her reservations about Jon and has decided to trust him.

I believe you misunderstood my interpretation of Sansa in that scene, which is understandable, since I mostly focused on Jon.

I think Sansa is as desperate for Jon’s respect and trust as he is for hers. She keeps begging him to listen to her. I understand why Jon doesn’t: it’s another sign of Ned’s lessons being instilled in him and him being rather rigid about it. It’s his duty and desire to protect Sansa, and he feels that if he needs her help, he’s not up for the task.

But I promised to talk a little more about Sansa. I agree that her question was vulnerable and heartfelt, but don’t underestimate her, Anon! I think she was well aware of what she was doing… I’m not doubting her sincerity, but to me it didn’t feel like the emotional response she could have given. She didn’t snap at him or give a snide remark. Quite the opposite, this was Sansa at her strongest!

I know a lot of people were moved by her pain when she asked Jon “Would that be so terrible?” But that was not my initial response. You know what my reaction was? I felt incredibly proud of her.

As you pointed out, the both of them crave the other’s approval and they were both hurt. But I stand by my previous statement that Jon was acting on his pain, while Sansa wasn’t. Yes, Jon appeared extremely cold and I’ve seen people claim this was OOC, but I disagree. Jon has canonically been known to act like a complete jerk when he’s at his most emotional. For some reason, people seem to forget that. So basically Jon was acting callous because he cares so much.

And Sansa cares about getting Jon’s respect too, but that wasn’t her motivation in this scene. She wants Jon to listen to her, because she cares about him and wants to protect him. Sansa was the bigger person here! She was setting her own ego and feelings aside for Jon. Moreover I think that on some level she was aware of how smart a move this was.

Yes, she was sincere, but that doesn’t mean she’s past using that honesty and vulnerability to ‘manipulate’ Jon. Take it from someone who’s used that little trick in real life: it’s satisfyingly effective!

Jon’s body language showed us that it was definitely working, until they were interrupted by that maester unfortunately….


- You were never insecure about the age gap.

- But Erik was worried.

- After a long conversation the fear went away. 

- Charles was concerned as well.

- Then he saw the happiness beaming from Erik.

- People would give you two odd looks and ask odd questions.

- “Is he your sugar daddy?”

- “Do you have daddy issues?”

- Mainly a lot of father related inquiries.

- For a while you two had to walk on egg shells.

- Not everyone was comfortable with the idea of you two together.

- “They’ll just have to get over it,’ Erik once said.

- You have to remind him often not to call you his “baby.”

- “Erik, that’s kind of weird when you think about it…”

- When arguing, Erik likes to use your age against you.”

- “You’re too young to understand!”

- He hates it when you do it.

- “Alright, old man.”

- “My apologies, ancient one.”

- There’s nothing but love between you two.

- Despite Erik being annoyingly overprotective over you/

- “You’re so innocent!”

- “You’re so old!”

Requests and Submissions are Open + Masterlist.

anonymous asked:

I'm not sure if you've been asked this before but, in your relationship, how did you let your partner know about how you like shipping and drawing hot guys kissing, etc...? And how did they react? I'm nervous about telling my girlfriend about the things I love.... (also I love you and your art and hope you feel better soon!!)

Aw thank you so much ❤️ well, we have been together for 6 years and living together for 5 and ½. I only started drawing malexmale or femxfem since.. well literally a year ago!

I never really said I was doing it… I just did it lol and I was super nervous and would try and hide it whenever he walked in the room. When it was finally discovered what I was drawing I said I was doing it for a friend! Which I was but also a bit for myself lol.

I remember he screamed a bit with laughter cuz he was like what is thiiissss?? I didn’t know you drew this??

Then to my surprise he would give me suggestions and teasingly say I should use his body as a model… wait.. or was he serious.. lol this guy

I was shocked, honestly, that he was so accepting…

I think it all depends on your relationship and the other person on how to deal with it. But we never really sat down and “had a talk about it” cuz that would have been…. not us?

So in the end I drew it, he saw it, and was cool with it 👌🏻 now he gives me horribly funny suggestions

I’m going to scream into the abyss. There’s a guy from my old high school who has been stalking girls and creeping on their social media. Then he tried to do it to my friends and I and we blocked him, reported him to a principal, and told him to never contact us again. BUT HE JUST MADE A FAKE KIK ACCOUNT AND WOULDN’T STOP MESSAGING ME. He said I asked him for something and I replied with, “Fuck off, Nathan. I didn’t ask you for anything. I told you to leave me alone!” Then he continued to say he was a friend of Nathan’s and that Nathan had changed, he wasn’t the same guy he was freshman year. I then told him to block my kik before I reported him to the school again. THEN HE SAID I WAS THE ONE ASKING HIM FOR STUFF and I told him to never EVER contact me again or else I would go to the police and the fucker STILL continued to say I was the one who messaged him first. DO PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND I CAN TAKE FUCKING SCREENSHOTS?

He’s a monster. He continues to lie to make girls feel guilty. When I first met him, we were on the bus bc I had just moved to town. He asked me for a hug and I said no. I asked him to please leave me alone and he plopped down in my seat and said, “No one’s hugged me since my mom died.” I was immediately freaked out by this guy but asked him about his mom. He told me she died of a “unknown disease”. I let him sit next to me and just nodded my head as I listened to his stories. This guy also told me he was the main creator for OUTLAST. A sixteen year old boy from South Carolina. Yeah okay. But over time he became a creep. He would make different social media accounts and follow me on all of them. He’d have his friends name in his phone changed to mine and show people “conversations” we’ve had. Then while riding the bus home, he ASKED to come to my house and when I said no he stayed on the bus, missed his stop and told me, “Can I come to your house to call my parents?” I immediately told the bus driver and they had him suspended from the bus. I’ve known him for six years and he still WILL NOT give up.

There are people like this everywhere. Do NOT let them guilt you into anything! They are compulsive liars and stalkers. Report and block them IMMEDIATELY if you start to feel uncomfortable. YOU DO NOT OWE THESE PEOPLE ANYTHING! If you find them ANYWHERE near your home, call the police! Please stay safe and don’t let anyone like this into your life!!

anonymous asked:

Darren isn't gay why would he need a beard? Jeez you guys are delusional

Anon, shockingly you said something that MAY be correct. I have never said Darren is gay. I have said that only Darren can define his sexuality. So while it is possible he is gay, it is also possible he is bi or pan. He absolutely falls somewhere on the Queer Spectrum as he himself has told you many, many times, if you would just open your eyes and ears and listen. He for sure has a life partner that he lives with who is male and she is nothing more to him than a business partner (albeit a fucked up one) a/k/a beard.

‘First Impressions’

By Indiana

Characters: Edward Nygma

Synopsis: You hope to never be in the same room with him again. Arkhamverse (pre-Arkham Knight)


He’s late, but you’d been told to expect that.

Not by him.  He’d said to be punctual, to show up at exactly the time specified but if you had to be early he would magnanimously overlook it. Why you decided to continue on after that email, you don’t know.  You’d asked around, asked if he was for real, and the consensus had been yes.  Don’t be late, and don’t bring up that he was late.  He was setting the stage, someone had said.  To show you that you were barely worth any of the time he could coerce from his schedule.  Sometimes he was truly busy, sometimes he was just making a point.  But you didn’t ask.  You would understand when you got there.

You were skeptical, obviously.  Who did this guy think he was?  If he wasn’t rumoured to pay so well you wouldn’t have bothered.  You may not have been a supervillain, but you still had self-respect.  No nerd with an over-inflated ego was going to walk all over you.

Though the bizarre thing, you’d been told, was that he really was as good as he said he was.


You didn’t expect him to be so big.

Contrary to popular belief, most civilians never met nor saw a supervillain.  The city boasted a population of over six million; there were a lot of supervillains there, but still not enough to go around.  You’d seen him in the paper, and on the news, and just as it was said the camera added ten pounds it also seemed to remove a handful of inches.  But that wasn’t even it, when you saw him; no, that wasn’t just it.

To be in the henchman business, a guy has to be big.  The height in this room averages about six feet, him included.  And he isn’t physically biggest.  But there’s something else that makes him feel like he is; maybe it’s how he keeps his chin raised, or that he seems to be looking down his nose even at the guys taller than he is.  Or maybe it’s the fact that he really does have self-respect - like he’s better than everyone else in the room, and he knows it, and he knows everyone else knows it, but moreso that it’s an unshakeable belief he has.  He’s better, and he knows it, and it’s just plain fact, like the fact he has arms or legs or a birthday.  It’s… humbling, almost.  Like being in the same room as the President.

He’s wearing a green suit, of course, and before you’d arrived here you’d wondered to yourself: who does that?  Well, you have your answer.  He does that, and he does it so well.  It suddenly occurs to you you’ve never seen anything like it anywhere else.  It takes so much self-assurance to put on something like that in the morning, to walk up to a tailor and tell them in all seriousness 'I want a green suit’, and to actually wear it with your head held high, and you realise you’re starting to get it.  

He’s crazy.  That’s a fact.  But he doesn’t seem to know he’s crazy.  Nobody would hold their head up like that, would dress like that, would act like that if they had any idea.  Or maybe he does know, and he just doesn’t care, and why should he care when he affords so much power and respect and prestige just as he is?  You’re here, reporting to him, after all, instead of the other way around.  If he is indeed crazy, he seems to make it work for him in ways you don’t think you’ll ever understand.

When he addresses you, it’s as a group; his eyes are sharp and they pause nowhere.  There’s something… off about them.  You get the impression his pupils should be too small or his lids open too wide, but neither those nor any similar things are true.  Someone interrupts and is silenced with a glance. You aren’t sure there’s really a man behind it, not anymore; his behaviour is so deliberate, so precise, it almost seems rehearsed.  He’s been putting on this show so long he forgot about the curtain call.

It takes conscious thought to keep up with what he’s saying; it’s almost as though he doesn’t want you to understand.  He says without saying that he doesn’t want you there, he doesn’t need you there, but he’s allowing it because that’s how it has to be. The supervillain needs the hired guns to hold him over until he can find something better.  But even now he tells you there is nothing better, you’re not good enough but you’ll have to be good enough, and if the precise shapes of his mouth weren’t digging into your gut you would have just left.  You don’t have to take this.  You know you don’t have to take this.  But he’s convincing you you do even as he spells out exactly how and why he hates you.

And that’s power. That’s something you will never have, never even touch.  He has some intrinsic quality that you don’t, and the person next to you doesn’t, and nobody in this room or across the street or down the block has.  Something that makes men follow when they don’t want to. Something that makes men believe they owe their lives to a man who has painstakingly spent his own life orchestrating his own endless failure.

When he is finished he leaves a silence for questions, but no one dares question him now.  His plan is self-professed perfection, his reasoning without intrinsic flaw, his assertions beyond the criticism of lesser men. You could question him. But he knows your name, and your address, knows everywhere you’ve been this week whether physical or virtual, and such behaviour would be pointless.  He knew from the moment he entered you into his email address bar that you would come here, and you would listen, and you would leave under his employ, because he already knew you from the beginning.  Of course you would doubt him, at first; everyone doubts these people. But he knew that, once he got you in a room with him and you saw what he was, it was over.  You can’t turn back once you’ve met a man like that.  He lures you with a promise and sells you with his sinister song.  You have to wonder if he’d even needed to utter a single word.  You have the feeling if he’d just come in and looked at you, you would have followed without ever opening your mouth.

He dismisses you merely by exiting the room.  It takes all of you a moment to realise that.  To realise you are worth neither a greeting nor a farewell to this man, and you’re going to work for him anyway.  As you leave you try to convince yourself you had a choice.  You never really did, even now as you question whether what you saw was real, and if you’re going to treat it as though it was.  But you know he has your entire self, bought and paid for, without any exchange having taken place other than that of his words and your silence. You owe him for the privilege of his five minutes of attention.  It’s a debt you will never pay off.  

The next weekend someone you know from a similar employer contacts you.  Says they’ve been asking around, asking if he’s for real.  There is no hesitation when you tell them they should expect him to be late.

anonymous asked:

Not dating related but advice related! As someone who is trying to learn to drink - because it's sometimes rude to order juice at formal events, or so I've been told - could you please recommend some wines? Thanks for your time!

It’s never rude to order juice or anything non-alcoholic at any time. Never let people tell you that! 

That being said, I personally love Sauvignon blanc and if you grab one from New Zealand you rarely go wrong. Some brands that I really like that are not expensive would be Kim Crawford and Nobilo. Joining wine clubs like Bright Cellars has been very good for trying new wines that aren’t that expensive too. It really is all about individual taste though so I suggest trying a variety to see what floats your boat! :)  

ann-fortunately  asked:

Honestly, if anyone has any doubts left that Louis was the one guiding the rainbow bears, then I hope said doubts have just disapprared. Thank you, Louis, for your input, looking forward to another things that people say we shouldn't analyse but they are constantly thrown on our faces by you.

I don’t want to disappoint you but they’ll never admit it. Never. Because admitting it means that they’ve been fooled for years without even realizing it and that’s quite the hit to someone’s ego you know?

anonymous asked:

I think David didn't know Seth had a gf Bc of how much he values trust, and he said something like 'never would've made you done it if I knew you had a gf'

exactly. cheating is one thing David has never been okay with joking about

Over and over and over again

He said I love you and I will marry you one day.
He said I love you over and over again.
He said I will never hurt you.
He told her I hate her I don’t want to be with her anymore.
He said I love you before bed every night.
He liked to go on walks late at night, he liked to go on walks and run into her vagina every night.
He said I love you before bed every night.
He said we are just friends over and over and over again.
He lied over and over and over again.
She would come see him every day.
He said she was fat.
He said he would never like fat girls.
He said they were just friends.
I told her to stop seeing him.
She would message him.
I told her to stop.
He would message her.
I told him to stop.
He wouldn’t stop.
He told me to stop being crazy
He told me to stop being insecure
He told me to stop over and over and over again.
I wouldn’t stop.
He would sneak and talk to her.
I told him to stop.
He told me to stop being crazy.
Everyone told me to stop being insecure.
I wouldn’t stop.
He would lie.
She would lie.
Everyone would lie.
I knew they were all lying.
I knew he wasn’t taking late night walks.
I knew they were not just friends.
I knew she would message him.
I knew he would message back.
I knew everything.
But what I didn’t know is how.
How did he lie to my face everyday.
How did he go fuck her and come back into bed with me.
How did he still say he loved me.
How could he make me think I was crazy and insecure.
How he felt no remorse for what he was doing.
How he never cared about me.
How he didn’t hate himself everyday.
How he made me doubt myself when I knew in my heart what he was doing.
I said I don’t love you anymore.
I said it over and over and over again.

anonymous asked:

So I really feel bad for being gone so long, cause I think last time u came back to Tumblr I said I was excited and would be talking to you more and I never did, bUT HI, HELLO, IT'S ME, NONNY!


heck im always here for whenever you feel like hoppin into my inbox so don’t forget that!


anonymous asked:

I just want to say I love your art. It's really manga like and like some other anon said I agree I would also pay for a Notre Dame AU from you. Did you think about creating doujinshis?

Thank you for the kind words! Honestly, hearing that my art is appreciated never cease to brighten my day <3

Regarding the doujinshi, I’m proud to announce that @chocobutt-trash and I are currently collaborating to put one together! He’s already begun working on a script for me to draw and all I can say about it right now is HOO BOY, YOU GUYS IN FOR A TREAT.

It’s still very much a work in progress, so I can’t say when exactly it will be released, but I hope that you’ll find it to be worth the wait!

when i was at the pub last night this guy was like “so do you want to go all the way with transition?” and i am honestly so stumped everytime someone asks me that bc i knoowww they’re talking about “””””the surgery””””” and its like nah! why would i talk about that! why do YOU want to know that? it’s weird and it’s uncomfy. also someone was like “its really good that you’re so open to talking about this” and like i never said i was open to talking about u they all just……. started talking about it…….. i didnt say “ask me questions about transition!” like im just kjfhgskjdg i never said that! i dont want every conversation ever to revolve around me being trans its exhausting and scary and invasive
Citing Recusal, Trump Says He Wouldn’t Have Hired Sessions
The president also said in an interview that Robert S. Mueller III, the special counsel, would cross a red line if he delved into Trump family finances unrelated to Russia.
By Peter Baker, Michael S. Schmidt and Maggie Haberman

Sessions should have never recused himself, and if he was going to recuse himself, he should have told me before he took the job, and I would have picked somebody else. … So Jeff Sessions takes the job, gets into the job, recuses himself. I then have — which, frankly, I think is very unfair to the president. How do you take a job and then recuse yourself? If he would have recused himself before the job, I would have said, ‘Thanks, Jeff, but I can’t, you know, I’m not going to take you.’ It’s extremely unfair, and that’s a mild word, to the president.