Mentally ill nonbinaries are cool and awesome. Whether your mental illness has an impact on your gender or not, you’re still pretty amazing and there are so many people who are glad you exist. Like me! I’m glad you exist. Keep being you.
in bullet points, because i get too fucking long-winded otherwise
history (in the sense of ‘the structure of outer time’) can, provably, be changed.
this much is obvious from the beginning, given how much the dr.who straight fucks the natural progression of history by showing up at the worst of moments and starting a revolution or stopping some war before it occurs or maybe just blowing up a couple average-sized planetary bodies
they do this constantly. just because the world is better afterwards doesn’t mean history hasn’t changed
notably, however, they only appear to do it so freely on other planets; they are far more touchy about earth’s history, and it turns out for good reason.
as of Head of State, while history was set-up and structured by Gallifrey, these machinations really make no difference to the larger Web of Time; it’s likely that, while the basic overarching shape is defined, and while there may be occasional anchor points (fixed points, perhaps?) that cannot be changed without bringing down history in its entirety, nobody really cares about the specifics
(why, then ‘you can’t change history, not one line?’, I hear you cry? I’m getting to it. pls.)
it follows that everything in between those theoretically fixed points (or, if they don’t exist, just everything in general) is changeable. and more than that.
there are time-travellers afoot, by now, in every corner of history; we can presume the vast majority have nothing to do with gallifrey, and instead travel by more primitive vortex-manipulation means, but they are everywhere
and we all know the butterfly effect; if there’s a time traveller around in your past, that means your past has just changed - maybe only very slightly, but memories make you who you are and if enough very slight changes happen, if enough time-travellers show up in the past, your very personality will begin to shift as well
here’s the thing, however: given the nature of inner and outer time, and also just time travel in general (discounting san dimas time because it’s a shitty model): all these time-travellers will be arriving at once, and all these changes will be happening at once, constantly and unrelentingly
to clarify, each time-traveller shows up at some distinct point in Inner Time, probably after each other, and they’ll be entering different points in history, but you are inside Outer Time and therefore incapable of experiencing the Inner Time distinction, so while the changes are technically happening one after the other it couldn’t matter less; from your perspective, they are all happening in simultaneity - a consequence of having two axes (axises? axii??) of time to exist in
also, you won’t actually notice yourself changing, because memories change right along with the history, but trust me; you are
we know, from the Book of the War among other sources, that a flux state in which every facet of your history and therefore your being changes at once is possible to achieve; what it fails to mention is that, functionally, we are all in such a state - every aspect of yourself is potentially changing at every moment
(practically, however, there is only so far we can change, because the overall structure has to stay intact, and that limits how far we can go somewhat - for example, no species that cannot survive in a gravitic environment would ever have evolved on earth, so no version of them exists. notably, the laws of physics are non-negotiable. mostly.)
if you’ll forgive me for the overused metaphor: we are all Shroedinger’s cat. alive and dead, happy and sad, here or there; at any given moment of Inner Time we could be anything and it’s impossible to tell which
until someone opens the box.
and the only being possibly equipped to do so would have to be one outside this constant flux of history - hailing from Inner Time - which is to say, of course, the Time Lords.
and here’s the thing: while Inner Time might, on rare occasions, be travelled through (it would quite definitely be breaking the law, but whether ‘the law’ in this instance means some ancient regulation stored in the Matrix or the laws of physics is arguable, and considering this is Gallifrey the two are almost the same anyway) it cannot be changed
if it could (among other things) the dr.who could have simply gone back and stopped the War ever beginning
yeah yeah i know this doesn’t always hold true but a) both river song and civitata are timeships and probably exempt from inner time anyway
(river is half timeship not half time lord meet me in the fucking pit)
and b) look i don’t know either but this makes more sense than any other model
once you meet a Time Lord, you become part of their history. or because inner time doesn’t have a history in that sense, you are remembered. you, the current version of you, the random you they happened upon, are now in the memory of a Time Lord - and memories make us who we are.
(and if it’s a non-renegade Time Lord, you’d be stored in the Matrix too, or maybe you were already, the Matrix is more than a little confusing)
(no okay fine more on that: the Matrix is built in Inner Time, and while it probably isn’t sentient enough to count as a conscious observer, it was built on the minds of dead Time Lords who inarguably were and possibly still are)
(this means, in all likelihood, that being stored by the Matrix has the exact same effect as meeting a Time Lord - probably it’s the Matrix that keeps the general shape of history intact, that first coastline that later was echoed in all the other, subtly different fractals - see Head of State again - and keeps any otherwise unrelated fixed points intact)
(this has some Implications but let’s stick to the topic for now)
so if you were to change further you would, however subtly, change the Gallifreyan. and they’re a being of Inner Time. they cannot be changed. consequently, you can no longer be changed either - or at least, not the aspects of you that they’d remember.
simply by coming into contact with a Time Lord, you have now been certainified; unlike all the other versions of you, unlike all the other, still flux-state people and planets yet untouched by Gallifrey, you are certain.
you are real.
(this applies equally, of course, to any experience; it doesn’t have to be physical seeing for it to work. if some random gallifreyan reads of your death tomorrow in a newspaper then you die tomorrow. no more room for change.)
well, or the newspaper has to be misprinted, or actually both, until proven otherwise, but that’s all besides the point
[colonel voice] look just trust me it makes sense i swear
hence: nothing is truly real (or at least not consistently so) unless a Time Lord was there to see it.
as for why the doctor’s so touchy about planet earth: they’ve been all over earth’s history, and anything they’ve seen or heard or experienced is now cemented in time, so if changes even a little it would change them and therefore fuck up inner time
actually by the way this may be the reason earth is so weirdly important to the spiral politic despite being so irrelevant: it’s tied into the dr.who’s timeline so deeply that if you fuck it up you fuck them up, and by connection probably gallifrey in general
or you can go the boring route and make something up about a second caldera but i don’t approve of it
also: shit like angels of manhattan, with things being set in stone as soon as they’re in the book? that’s inner time at work, not outer; same with the silencio fixed point etc.
more on that next post. maybe. probably.
this brings the number of time travel models that hold true in dr.who simultaneously up to… what, five? outer time is somehow eternalism and whatever you call the dynamic model simultaneously, the multiverse is already a thing, inner time is presumably possibilism (ehhhh… depends on whether you think free will is a thing i guess), and there’s echoes of the spiral model in the whole ‘fractals’ idea
no groundhog day yet though!! well, not consistently anyway. i think. i hope.
the great thing about this is of course that now there is no way that dr.who can fuck up its own physics model by bringing a different one in, because it’s already got both of them
all your physics model are belong to us
please please somebody let me yell @ them about how this intersects with the dr.who 3-d (alterwards, parawards, otherwards) multiverse model
or the implications of this and how they relate to pythian willpower-physics and also why this proves that time lords can change reality by hallucinating really loudly
Could you write Eposette for the angst meme thing with "Don't listen to them. Don't you EVER listen to them" ? It would make me the happiest bean.
“Ponine, why are you laying on the floor?”
Eponine shifted the book off her face just enough to see the curtain of brown curls that meant Cosette had to be bending down quite low over her right now. How she could keep her balance while doing that was still beyond her, but Eponine had never once seen Cosette fall.
“Because I’m stupid,” she mumbled, but the pages muffled her words enough that Cosette couldn’t hear. Or, at least, faked not being able to hear.
“I said-” Eponine slides the book to her chest. “-because I’m stupid.”
Cosette shook her head and sat down beside her. “Nonsense, sweet pea. Why would you ever say that about yourself?”
“Because it’s true.” Eponine rolled over onto her side, facing away. “I have empirical proof that I’m an idiot because I failed another exam. Another one! It doesn’t matter how hard I try, I keep screwing up.”
She wanted to throw the books and papers and everything else in the garbage for all the good it had done her. That’s where it all belonged at this point anyway.
“I don’t know why I’m even trying. I didn’t go to university in the first place for a damn reason. Everyone knew, my parents knew, I knew- why am I here?”
“Hey.” Cosette laid a gentle hand on her shoulder and rolled Eponine over to look her in the eye. “All those voices telling you you aren’t good enough? Don’t listen to them. Don’t you ever listen to them. Especially not the ones that sound like your parents, you know they’re wrong.”
“Yeah, but what if-”
“No ‘buts.’ No ‘what ifs.’ You failed a test or two. So what? Enjolras and Combeferre have failed tests before, too, but that doesn’t make them stupid. You are my bright, brilliant, and beautiful sweet pea, and no test grade will ever change that.”
Eponine sighed and slowly started to prop the book up on her chest. She fidgeted with the corner a page for a long moment before she shuffled over enough to rest her head on Cosette’s lap. “Do you, um… Do you think you could help me study for the next one?”
Commander of Death, Princess of Graves, does not feel.
She walks back outside numb, with eyes as cold as the air the first night Cassian held her. All three of the others look up at her as she walks out. Cassian’s brows furrow, but Amren and Lucien just watch her expectantly.
“The Wayfinder says Koschei will tell us how to break the curse,” Nesta says flatly. “That’s all.”
[A little note: I did it. I conquered my fear of doing an endless summer fanfic. There’s just so many about this pairing already and I wasn’t sure if I could ever do them justice. Originally, I was going to submit this for choicescreates but decided better of it because that quote has got me thinking and thinking. Hope it’s enjoyable!]
[Summary: Falling for someone is complicated - especially since it isn’t something taught but rather an experience learned, bringing people together. For MC it’s the sudden awareness that she’s fallen so deeply for Jake McKenzie that she’s afraid of what happens when she finally reaches the bottom].
That’s something they don’t
teach us while growing up. Instead, they teach us not to cry over spilled milk.
How important it is to be nice to strangers and to look both ways before
crossing the street. But they don’t teach us about this. One
of the scariest lessons in life. Falling. Falling so deeply that there isn’t any chance of even grabbing
the ledge in time to stop yourself from tumbling down. A fall so steep that
there is no choice but submitting, claiming it right before it consumes our
souls. No. They
don’t teach us that. And
they certainly don’t teach us how to survive the
I’m pissed that it’s cancelled and if you are
too this is for you. I’ve made a list of my favourite sv fanfiction to
commemorate the end to this beautiful show. find my other pages here and if you know who wrote any of these please
let me know so I can give credit
Are We Dating? (by @mrriggerworld): juphelia - this is the cutest thing, the narration is
really well done, everyone is beautifully in character, it’s all cute and good
and it’s all fanastic, I love this so much
i found it in the wreckage:juphelia - this is short but truly wonderful, ophelia
is beautiful and her emotions are cute and everything is amazing