To the person who had the idea of naming the movie “Toy Story” and not “Toys Are Us”
Congratulations on being the stupidest and most worthless piece of shit on the entire fucking planet. You’re so fucking dumb it’s not even funny. The day I meet you will also be the day my sledgehammer meets your fucking pelvis you scumbag. Fucking Prick.
Would anybody shoot their boyfriend in the leg for ten million dollars? I think that question is dumb, as I would never do that to Momota no matter how much I was offered. Is there anybody really dumb to do that?
Aww Keebo, you're so sweet! I would never do that to you either, not even for a free trip to Andromeda Galaxy!
WTF Amami can shoot me, then when my leg gets better we'll buy a big-ass house and range rovers.
You can shoot my leg too! Then we'll have 20 million!
Aries: Not saying names, but this student is stupid. Don’t be like this student.
Taurus: (we were about to have a lecture about the dangers of sharing too much on the internet) We just have to wait on Lexi to get back from the bathroom. I sure hope she isn’t sexting. (Everyone laughs) Just trying to relate.
Gemini: If you’re part of the choir please stand up *turns into slim shady* please stand up, please stand up
Cancer: *pure desperation* Please…stop writing that Hiroshima was lit.
Summary: Sometimes Yoongi didn’t know if you were playing dumb, or you were actually dumb.
“So is there a reason you’re perpetually hanging around
You looked up at your brother’s roommate and best friend and
straightened, “Well, is there a reason you’re perpetually refusing to wear
Yoongi raised an eyebrow and looked down at himself. A yawn
escaped his lips as he made his way to the kitchen. “I forgot, okay? Plus,” he
opened the fridge, “It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve seen me
I hate when people use “you’re so young you have so much time” as like a thing to make me feel better about my lack of relationships. as if people ain’t dating in high school, as if people ain’t dating in college. as if it ain’t sad and pathetic as fuck that I ain’t had nothing ever.
This is how dudes catch you up. You ask them what they're looking for they tell you nothing, so when you treat it like a regular friendship they get mad. Excuse me sir, I asked you what you wanted, you said nothing, so that's what you're gonna get. Stop being dumb. I'm not entertaining NATHANNNNNN
prompt: you’re Betty’s and Archie’s best friend and after Archie rejected Betty, you take matters into your own hands and confront Archie. You know his summer secrets MWAHAHHAHA
relationship: Archie X platonic!reader
location: TAKES PLACE AFTER ARCHIE TALKS TO BETTY AT HER HOUSE; his room
You were over at Archie’s lecturing about hurting Betty. You loved Betty like a sister and you’re basically in a pickle due to both of them being your best friends. You should be over at her place comforting her but Kevin wanted to take over so you can dig more into Archie’s reason. You were the only person Archie ever told about his relationship with Miss Grundy. This is why you were fuming.
“You’re so dumb, Andrews! That woman should be in jail for being in a relationship with you! You shouldn’t have feelings for her still! Grundy won’t ever love you like you want. One look at Grundy and you break Betty’s heart. Also adding a cherry one top, you kiss Veronica. Nice going.” You punch him on the arm and sit next to him.
He was rubbing his temples and sighed, “I don’t care about Grundy like that anymore, I just want her to stop avoiding me. Also, I love Betty but not like that. I’ve never seen her like that and now it’s going to hurt me seeing her hurt. You know the night we met Veronica that I was distracted. She was just so compelling. (Y/N), you just don’t know how confused I am and I need help.”
Rolling your eyes, you grab the small frame sitting on his nightstand. It was a photograph of you, Betty, and Archie in middle school. You guys were spending Christmas Day together. It was a simpler time and it was an innocent moment in your guys’ childhood. Before all the crushes and puberty and all that bullshit.
Archie looked over your shoulder and sighed looking at the picture. He held your hand and looked up.
“(Y/N), you’re my best friend and I need you to help me through this. I’m so sorry you have to deal with me but I need you. You’re stronger and smarter than me and Betty. I just want everything to be simple again. Everything is so complicated, you’re the only person who hasn’t changed.”
You smile, “I’ll be with you till the end of the line. No matter how stupid you can be, Andrews.”
[Notes; Just a little drabble, not sure if I will continue this one or not, yet! Would love everyone’s votes/opinions!]
“Dude, just send me a picture of it! I see you half naked all the time. If I were going to make a move, I would have done it by now, (Y/N).” “You’re so dumb, Sasha.” I laughed out, through the phone. “But okay. Just tell me the truth, bye.” I said hanging up, leaving me alone in the Victoria’s Secret dressing room.
White, Frosty. Lace and rhinestones- perfect for the December’s night date. Not too little, not too much. Perfect. The imitating diamonds danced to the light as I twist and turned, checking myself out at all angles possible. I felt like some kind of snow angel in this, but I needed to know if it was right. Erecting my back- as straight as it could go, I snapped the hottest picture I could. Damn. Why hasn’t Sasha made a move yet? I laughed at the thought, sent the picture to my best friend, and threw my phone on the seat next to the mirror.
I took in a final glance before I started unhooking straps and untying little bows. I pulled my clothes on and made my way to the cashier’s counter. Forget her opinion, this is it. As if she could feel me thinking about her, Sasha’s “Sky Is the Limit” sang out and her name etched across my screen. “Girl! Are you going to send me this picture, or what!?” I had to pull the phone away from my eardrum. “I sent it to you!” I same-tone’d back. “I didn’t get anything? It probably just didn’t go through.” She said, coming down from her what-seemed-to-be offended state. “It doesn’t matter now, I already bought it. But since you so desperately want to see, I’ll resend it. Hang on, I’ll put you on speaker.”
My hands scrolled through my messages, seeing no trace of a picture. Not one exclamation point, or a did not send notification. No picture at all. “What the hell?” I huffed. Exiting Sasha’s messages, I saw another name. Seth. “..Seth? Why would Seth send me a messa..” You sent a photo.
I instantly stopped walking- dead in my tracks. My hands fell weak, almost dropping my bag of newly bought lingerie. The pit in my stomach forming was indescribable. “(Y/N)?” Brought me back from what was now clearing up to be a nightmare. “What did he want?” Sasha asked. “Oh.. my God, Sasha.”
alex pulling away from the kiss to ask in the sweetest dumb little voice “so you’re saying you like me? that’s what i’m getting?” and maggie like “you’re not gonna go all crazy on me right” and alex’s perfect “probably” i’m so!!!!!!!!!