you re so dumb

To the person who had the idea of naming the movie “Toy Story” and not “Toys Are Us”

Congratulations on being the stupidest and most worthless piece of shit on the entire fucking planet. You’re so fucking dumb it’s not even funny. The day I meet you will also be the day my sledgehammer meets your fucking pelvis you scumbag. Fucking Prick.

-The Ice Man

  • Keebo: Would anybody shoot their boyfriend in the leg for ten million dollars? I think that question is dumb, as I would never do that to Momota no matter how much I was offered. Is there anybody really dumb to do that?
  • Kaito: Aww Keebo, you're so sweet! I would never do that to you either, not even for a free trip to Andromeda Galaxy!
  • Kokichi: WTF Amami can shoot me, then when my leg gets better we'll buy a big-ass house and range rovers.
  • Rantarou: You can shoot my leg too! Then we'll have 20 million!
  • Kokichi: Good thinking, fuck the system.
The signs as things my teachers have said

Aries: Not saying names, but this student is stupid. Don’t be like this student.

Taurus: (we were about to have a lecture about the dangers of sharing too much on the internet) We just have to wait on Lexi to get back from the bathroom. I sure hope she isn’t sexting. (Everyone laughs) Just trying to relate.

Gemini: If you’re part of the choir please stand up *turns into slim shady* please stand up, please stand up

Cancer: *pure desperation* Please…stop writing that Hiroshima was lit.

Leo: I bet I can dab better than all of you

Virgo: How can one person be so dumb?

Libra: We’re going steady, Jake. We’re going steady.

Scorpio: My beard was black at the beginning of this year, now it’s gray. I’m looking at you, Robert.

Sagittarius: *student talks about how when he was little if he was hungry he would bang his head on the table until he got food* That explains a lot about you, it really does.

Capricorn: It’s fight or flight. But some of you would be paralyzed if a lion came in here right now, and that’s fine by me because they gotta eat something.

Aquarius: Now is not the time for snapping or chatting

Pisces: At a teacher meeting we had to pretend to be students, and I got in trouble. They made me sit in the corner and everyone made fun of me so I cried

The signs at the beach
  • Aries: but like... do we have to go? I don't think I can handle going out twice in one day
  • Taurus: as long as we bring a picnic or something I'm keen
  • Gemini: *swims... fuckkk it's cold... imma tough it out tho... yeah nah it's too cold.
  • Cancer: *pretends they know how to swim well but gets in over their head... literally, haha
  • Leo: guyssss be careful k? You're all so dumb honestly
  • Virgo: I'll save you!! *jumping in the water and showing off their amazing skills
  • Libra: cmon guys you're so slow, come enjoy the water
  • Scorpio: *stripping down to their bikini immediately... so... where are the boys?
  • Sagittarius: are you telling me I can't wear my sneakers in the sand? Watch me...
  • Capricorn: where are the paddle boards at tho?
  • Aquarius: *being extra in the water
  • Pisces: GUYS COME IN THE WATER!! *doesn't leave the water for like 2 hours straight
Playing Dumb || Suga || Oneshot

Originally posted by mn-yg

Word Count: 1221

Genre: fluff, oneshot

Summary: Sometimes Yoongi didn’t know if you were playing dumb, or you were actually dumb.


“So is there a reason you’re perpetually hanging around here?”

You looked up at your brother’s roommate and best friend and straightened, “Well, is there a reason you’re perpetually refusing to wear pants?”

Yoongi raised an eyebrow and looked down at himself. A yawn escaped his lips as he made his way to the kitchen. “I forgot, okay? Plus,” he opened the fridge, “It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve seen me pants-less.”

Keep reading

RFA, V, and Saeran’s Reaction to Chef!MC

Originally posted by vantitudes


ye I’m back

i wanted to write more mysme bc i just love it SO much

Ik what you’re saying: who tf is still in that anyway

The answer is ME

Hella ok to send requests!

★ The RFA, V, and Saeran’s reactions to MC being really great chef ★

Yoosung

  • “AHHH! MC! Come watch TV with me! They’re marathoning my favorite show!”
  • “Oooh, what show is it?”
  • “It’s called Be A Whisk Taker and all the contestants have to bake the craziest cakes!”
  • MC nods, sitting down with their boyfriend
  • “You’ll love the judge! Coincidentally, their name is MC too!”
  • “Yoosung, you’re so dumb”
  • “Wait WHAT T_T???”
  • “Ye, that’s me”
  • “Whaaaat, why did you end it?!”
  • You had to stop production for the show because you wanted to go back to school
  • Do not worry small boi
  • MC has plans for another show
  • College Student Cooking™
  • Inspired by the boyfriend himself
  • For kids that can just make good food from crap materials
  • Yoosung totally asks MC to cook for him all the time

ZEN

  • You’re shocked because he only has beer in his fridge
  • How do you live???
  • That’s it, we’re going to the grocery store
  • “Babe, I don’t have any money”
  • “Yeah that’s fine. I’ll pay. We gotta get the best ingredients”
  • He’s protesting, but you’re ignoring him
  • You have a cooking show on YouTube
    • It’s called Gotta Do the Cooking by the Book
  • Like Rosanna Pansino, but meals
  • Sometimes you let him come onto the show, but ya’ll get nothing done because there’s always food flying through the air
  • He’ll lick the food off you
  • Especially loves when you do livestreams because he’ll just bother you while throwing all the ingredients together
  • When things are in the oven, you and him will sit on the couch and just talk to the viewers
  • So calming

Jaehee

  • You own a cafe: Coffee: A State of Bean
  • A lot of well known/famous people flock to the small bistro
  • All of the coffee and pastries and snacks are made by you
  • As you know of Jaehee’s coffee dreams, you offer her a job at your place
  • (You don’t want to just give it to her per say; you know she wants to work for it herself)
  • Declines at first, but accepts because you tell her some tips and brewing secrets
  • Almost doesn’t want to leave
  • Buuuut, she also wants to cater to not the rich/famous people
  • Your cafe is really upscale actually
  • Since Jaehee is no longer working under Jumin, she starts researching all about coffee and the like
  • She finds you own a shop and comes to surprise you
  • Even tho she doesn’t look half as fancy as the other patrons
  • Don’t worry Baehee
  • You’re the cutest one here
  • You kiss her each time she comes in
  • Ppl awe each time

Jumin

  • When you’re staying at his penthouse (Day 8 Status), you’re really panicking because you have an interview in the afternoon
  • “Jumin…I need to leave for a couple hours. I promise I’ll come back” you plead
  • “What? No. I can’t let that happen. I’m sorry. Here, the chef can cook us a nice meal.”
  • “No. I really need to go! It’s important!”
  • “What if they came here?” he tries to reason
  • “JUMIN. PLEASE.”
  • Really reluctant
  • Only lets you go because he’s going too
  • “MC, where are we going that’s so important”
  • “To this thing for my cook book” you say nonchalantly
  • What? MC cooks?
  • He never cooks, so why should he know
  • You arrive at the building and ya’ll are bombarded with the paparazzi
  • He tries to shield you bc he thinks there could be a scandal or something
  • There’s murmurs throughout the crowd like “What’s Jumin Han doing here?” “Is he sponsoring MC?”
  • Lol no
  • YAS THAT’S MY GIRL
  • Lets the chef have a lot of days off with pay

Saeyoung

  • Already knew
  • That damn background check
  • You wanted to surprise him
  • COOKING COMPETITIONS 24/7
  • He tries to mix HBC into everything
  • Tastes like shit tbh
  • Saeran’s the official judge
  • Always picks your cooking duh
  • Saeyoung’s a butt and a sore loser so he’ll switch your plates last minute
  • >:(
  • When this happens, you don’t cook for him for a week
  • Stuck eating his chips
  • Doesn’t really bother him tho

  • You make really elaborate cakes
  • They’re really beautiufl
  • Sometimes you gat sad becayse V can’t see their prettiness
  • Totally misjudged the height of oe and smashed his hand right on it
  • Ya’ll were both cryin’

Saeran

  • Only ONLY eats your cooking
  • No one else’s
  • Saeran why
  • Will even eat your cooking when you’re in a bad mood
    • God knows your cooking could kill a man
    • you know all the indigestion/stomach ache/etc recipes
  • You have to pack lunches for you two when you go out together
  • Pesters you to make ice cream for him
  • You refuse
  • “If you’re gonna make me cook for you 24/7, you should make the ice cream 24/7”
  • legit didn’t talk to you for 12 hrs
  • too busy trying to make ice cream

masterlist

This is how dudes catch you up. You ask them what they're looking for they tell you nothing, so when you treat it like a regular friendship they get mad. Excuse me sir, I asked you what you wanted, you said nothing, so that's what you're gonna get. Stop being dumb. I'm not entertaining NATHANNNNNN
you're so dumb - archie andrews

prompt: you’re Betty’s and Archie’s best friend and after Archie rejected Betty, you take matters into your own hands and confront Archie. You know his summer secrets MWAHAHHAHA relationship: Archie X platonic!reader location: TAKES PLACE AFTER ARCHIE TALKS TO BETTY AT HER HOUSE; his room ————————— You were over at Archie’s lecturing about hurting Betty. You loved Betty like a sister and you’re basically in a pickle due to both of them being your best friends. You should be over at her place comforting her but Kevin wanted to take over so you can dig more into Archie’s reason. You were the only person Archie ever told about his relationship with Miss Grundy. This is why you were fuming. “You’re so dumb, Andrews! That woman should be in jail for being in a relationship with you! You shouldn’t have feelings for her still! Grundy won’t ever love you like you want. One look at Grundy and you break Betty’s heart. Also adding a cherry one top, you kiss Veronica. Nice going.” You punch him on the arm and sit next to him. He was rubbing his temples and sighed, “I don’t care about Grundy like that anymore, I just want her to stop avoiding me. Also, I love Betty but not like that. I’ve never seen her like that and now it’s going to hurt me seeing her hurt. You know the night we met Veronica that I was distracted. She was just so compelling. (Y/N), you just don’t know how confused I am and I need help.” Rolling your eyes, you grab the small frame sitting on his nightstand. It was a photograph of you, Betty, and Archie in middle school. You guys were spending Christmas Day together. It was a simpler time and it was an innocent moment in your guys’ childhood. Before all the crushes and puberty and all that bullshit. Archie looked over your shoulder and sighed looking at the picture. He held your hand and looked up. “(Y/N), you’re my best friend and I need you to help me through this. I’m so sorry you have to deal with me but I need you. You’re stronger and smarter than me and Betty. I just want everything to be simple again. Everything is so complicated, you’re the only person who hasn’t changed.” You smile, “I’ll be with you till the end of the line. No matter how stupid you can be, Andrews.”

Originally posted by 505notfound

You Sent A Photo; Part One

[Pairing; Seth Rollins X Reader.]

[Notes; Just a little drabble, not sure if I will continue this one or not, yet! Would love everyone’s votes/opinions!]



     “Dude, just send me a picture of it! I see you half naked all the time. If I were going to make a move, I would have done it by now, (Y/N).” “You’re so dumb, Sasha.” I laughed out, through the phone. “But okay. Just tell me the truth, bye.” I said hanging up, leaving me alone in the Victoria’s Secret dressing room.  

     White, Frosty. Lace and rhinestones- perfect for the December’s night date. Not too little, not too much. Perfect. The imitating diamonds danced to the light as I twist and turned, checking myself out at all angles possible. I felt like some kind of snow angel in this, but I needed to know if it was right. Erecting my back- as straight as it could go, I snapped the hottest picture I could. Damn. Why hasn’t Sasha made a move yet? I laughed at the thought, sent the picture to my best friend, and threw my phone on the seat next to the mirror. 

     I took in a final glance before I started unhooking straps and untying little bows. I pulled my clothes on and made my way to the cashier’s counter. Forget her opinion, this is it. As if she could feel me thinking about her, Sasha’s “Sky Is the Limit” sang out and her name etched across my screen. “Girl! Are you going to send me this picture, or what!?” I had to pull the phone away from my eardrum. “I sent it to you!” I same-tone’d back. “I didn’t get anything? It probably just didn’t go through.” She said, coming down from her what-seemed-to-be offended state. “It doesn’t matter now, I already bought it. But since you so desperately want to see, I’ll resend it. Hang on, I’ll put you on speaker.”  

     My hands scrolled through my messages, seeing no trace of a picture. Not one exclamation point, or a did not send notification. No picture at all. “What the hell?” I huffed. Exiting Sasha’s messages, I saw another name. Seth. “..Seth? Why would Seth send me a messa..” You sent a photo. 

     I instantly stopped walking- dead in my tracks. My hands fell weak, almost dropping my bag of newly bought lingerie. The pit in my stomach forming was indescribable. “(Y/N)?” Brought me back from what was now clearing up to be a nightmare. “What did he want?” Sasha asked. “Oh.. my God, Sasha.”

THINGS THE SIGNS SAY REPEATEDLY AT SCHOOL
  • Aries: "I wasn't even talking!"
  • Taurus: "I want to go home."
  • Gemini: "We never learned this..."
  • Cancer: "Where's my pencil?"
  • Leo: "This is so easy... lol."
  • Virgo: "Why would you even ask that... You're so dumb."
  • Libra: "I hate this class." *10 minutes later* "I love this class!"
  • Scorpio: "Why are we learning this. What's the point."
  • Sagittarius: "After school I'm going to--" *goes on about their plans*
  • Capricorn: "I'm trying to pass, so."
  • Aquarius: "ACTUALLY-" *corrects the teacher*
  • Pisces: "wait what. what's going on. what're we doing. what time is it? when's lunch??"