you perfect specimen of human being


HAPPY HARDY FRIDAY my sweets!!!! So, you could say that today’s “theme” is Tom in black and white, but let’s be honest…the theme for these pictures is me curled up on the floor in the fetal position. He is just too much. No human being should have the right to look like this ♡♡♡

@virgosapphire79, @thihaf, @hows-my-hair, @james-k-delaney, @to-hold-me-and-to-hide-me, @synnocence, @emmysrandomthoughts, @inkinterrupted, @banes-tshirt, @feminamortem, @b-j-d, @pathybo, @angelswannawearmyredshooz, @beefthief247

Beautiful Mess

A/N: An anon request for Spencer x Reader, where she is a friend of Garcia’s. In her spare time, she makes clay sculptures and asks Reid to model for her. Once she’s nearly done, the sexual tension is too much to take and they end up having sex in her studio. @coveofmemories @sexualemobitch @jamiemelyn @unstoppableangel8 @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @hogwarts-konoha @sweetg @lukeassmanalvez


“I told my friend, Y/N, that I would stop by her studio on the way back,” Garcia said, proudly strutting down the street in her perfect replica Wonder Woman cosplay. From her head, the perfect coiffed black hair and near perfect headband to the corset, to the kick ass boots, Garcia did in fact look like the perfect Wonder Woman. 

Spencer on the other hand went to Comic Con as he always did - as the Fourth Doctor, Tom Baker; he’d pretty much perfected the costume at this point. “Do you really want to go there in costume?”

“Yea, why not?” Garcia laughed. What kind of a question was that? Of course she wanted to show off her perfect Wonder Woman cosplay; she’d been putting it together for two years. “Y/N loves Comic Con. It was just that she had a very expensive commission to do on a time crunch this year so she decided not to go. She’ll love our costumes. Let’s go.”

Through the throng of people exiting the auditorium, she grabbed Spencer’s hand and ran down the street, stopping momentarily for a little girl who wanted to take a picture with the “real Wonder Woman.” Garcia was too happy to oblige and then again, they were on their way to Y/N’s studio. 

Given his mathematical and scientifically-oriented brain, Spencer had always excelled in those areas, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t interested in the more liberal arts fields. In music and art, Spencer found solace - the ability to allow his mind to roam and explore rather than focus on cold, hard facts. Facts were cold, but art in all its forms warmed his soul. 

“Slow down, Garcia! You know I can’t run!” Her friend’s studio was apparently just down the street. She’d spoke of Y/N often, but they hadn’t had the chance to meet yet. Within minutes, they had somehow made their way down the street and into Y/N’s studio. 

Knock. Knock.

“Y/N! It’s your love, your light, your life, Penelope Garcia!”

“Come in, love!”

There was something about her that Spencer loved the moment he laid eyes on her. Not a love at first sight kind of thing, but one might say he was smitten. Apparently, she worked in multiple media; right now, she was painting, but she also enjoyed clay sculptures. “Spencer!” She exclaimed, giving him a small wave. “Penelope has told me all about you. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“You t-too,” he stuttered. “Do you mind showing us what you’re working on?” He figured that was the easiest way to get attention off of himself; if she looked at him much longer, he was going to make an ass of himself - he just knew it. 

Pulling the chair away from her easel, she ushered them in front of her so they could see what she was working on. A local millionaire wanted a giant painting of roses and lilies for his home. “Rose and Lily are his daughters,” she said. When it came to painting, her specialty was photorealism. In front of him and Garcia stood a giant painting full of roses and lilies so real Spencer swore he could touch them; he had to keep himself from doing so. 

“Y/N! This is gorgeous! When you have time and want to do something random, will you do a painting for me?” The prospect of having her friend’s artwork on her wall made Garcia giddy with joy. Spencer would be proud to have something like this on his wall too; she did beautiful work.

Y/N laughed and bent over to give Garcia a kiss on the cheek. “I’m already working on something for you for Christmas.”

“Ah!” Garcia danced around the studio, while Y/N put some finishing touches on her commission.

“When I’m done with this commission, I’m actually going to do a bit of sculpting before I start on my next commission. It’ll give me time to breath.”

While Garcia looked around the studio, taking in all of Y/N’s works in progress, Spencer stood next to her enraptured at how her hand moved over the canvas, somehow bringing flowers to life before his eyes. “You do beautiful work,” he said, blushing as he spoke.

Her cheek tinged with a similar shade to his own. “Thank you, Spencer. Penelope says such nice things about you. I’ve been wanting to meet you for a while.”

“Well, I hope I haven’t disappointed.” He smiled. If he saw himself in a mirror, he was sure he’d have seen the dumbest of smiles. He may have grown up and filled out a bit, but he was still the biggest nerd in all of existence. For a few moments, he kept silent. “What do you sculpt when you do that?”

“Whatever inspires me. It’s normally people.” Her eyes fell on him for a few moments, taking in the sadness in his eyes despite his smile, the dimples that gave his face life, and the way his hair swept in front of his eyes. “Actually…would you be my muse?” She stumbled over her own words.

“M-m-me?” He wasn’t sure he trusted himself to sit in front of her and not act like an idiot, but he was so enchanted by her shining personality and the way her eyes fixated on her work that he said yes.

About 10 minutes later, he and Garcia got called in on a case. “We have to go. Garcia. Duty calls.”

“Oh damn,” she said. “Y/N, I will see you soon!”

“Of course, my love. And I’ll see you soon too, Spencer.”

As he and Garcia walked out of the studio, she gave him the side eye. “She wants to see you soon?”

“She wants me to model for her sculpture.”

Garcia’s eyes lit up, causing Spencer to roll his own. “I’ve always thought you two would be great for each other. Very complementary. It’s like the start of a beautiful love story!”



Between cases on Spencer’s part and a quick commission that came in for Y/N, she wasn’t able to start her sculpture for a while, but it did give them time to get to know each other through quick texts and even faster conversations between cases. Y/N asked Garcia for his number, saying she wanted to get to know the man whose face she was going to sculpt, but Garcia could hear in her friend’s voice that she was interested in the man behind the face; Garcia was more than happy to indulge her. 

It was nearly three weeks before they could meet again and he could start her sculpture, but finally, Spencer was on the way to her studio. “Hey, Spencer,” she greeted as he walked in. “Glad our schedules finally decided to cooperate.”

“Me too.” Over the last three weeks of getting to know each other, his feelings had grown; now he wasn’t just smitten, but infatuated, and he found his mind drifting off to how she’d look underneath him. He quickly shook the thought. “So ahh…” he started, sitting down on the stool by her side. “Do you need me to stay still or?”

“Just for a little bit,” she said, grabbing his chin in between her thumb and forefinger and turning it toward her. “While I get the basic layout of your face and then we can talk.”

He swallowed hard, trying to block out the tenderness of her touch. His mind raced normally; in front of her, it was even worse. Once she started, carving piece after piece out of the block of clay she was working with, her eyes relaxed. Whether it was because of him or something else he didn’t know, but she had been jittery. Not anymore. Her eyes went soft, glancing between him and the clay block that was slowly beginning to take form. Time flew by. “You can talk and move now.”

“Thank god,” he smiled. “My neck was getting stiff.” He grabbed the back of his neck and cracked a bit, causing her to snort. Embarrassed, she covered her mouth and tried to hide the bout of laughter that follower. “You’re not doing a good job of hiding it,” he said. He was glad for that. When she laughed, her eyes shone like stars and her skin flushed. Something about seeing her so free and unencumbered by the outside world - just having fun - made him smile. But he needed to keep his mind distracted, or it would wander into places that it shouldn’t…


After laughing like an idiot in front of him, you finally composed yourself enough to continue, focusing on perfectly the fluffy waviness of his hair before moving lower. His eyes were happy upfront with a tinge of eternal sadness behind them, and you did your best to capture that. Maybe asking to sculpt him wasn’t the best idea. Every time you looked over, you got distracted by his soft smile, beautiful eyes, and perfect, pink lips. On top of being a beautiful specimen of a human being, you’d also gotten to know him a lot over the past three weeks, and you liked what you knew - a lot. 

When you got down to his lips, it got even harder, and every time he spoke, you got lost in thoughts of how those lips would feel against your own. It had been hours - hours of lingering looks and stuttered syllables. “I think I’m almost done,” you said.

“Oh, really?” He sounded disappointed. “Y/N, I…I was wondering if maybe…you might…”

Without thought, you turned to him and pressed a kiss to his lips. After a momentary shock, he eased into you and returned the kiss.  “I’d like that,” you said. “Thanks for doing this. I really have enjoyed this.” You blushed like a schoolgirl; It was rare that someone brought out this side of you. He took you by surprise and glided his hand up your back and into your hair, bringing your face closer to his and parting your lips for a second time.

You still had a bit left to do on your sculpture, but his mouth distracted you again - yet unlike before. “I’ve been wondering how soft your lips were,” you admitted, looking backward toward the sculpture. “Better than I imagined.”

Spencer’s eyes darkened slightly at the admission. For the entire night, you’d gotten the feeling that he liked you, wanted you, but that look proved it. The previous kisses had been tentative, explorative, but this one was passionate. You dropped your sculpting tools and wrapped your arms around his neck, sighing as he ran his hands up your back underneath your shirt. 

Pulling away, you pulled the shirt up over your head and played with the buttons on his shirt. “Are you sure…?” He asked.

You nodded, gasping as he took you by surprise, picked you up and pressed you insistently against the wall. After he removed his own shirt, he kissed down your collarbone and into the valley of your breasts. The earlier nervousness between both of you eased away, his fingers tickling your sides as you removed the rest of your clothes. “I’ve never had sex in my studio before.”

Spencer laughed into your neck. “I’ve never had sex in a studio before. First time for everything I guess.” You motioned for him to move toward the door so you could lock it just in case. On the way, Spencer tripped, his hand slipping into some of the clay before nearly falling to the floor. He grabbed your side to brace you if you fell and got clay all over you. “Live sculpture,” he chuckled. 

Everything that followed was quick and frenzied, warm skin against the cold concrete floor, muffled moans resounding in the small space. Reaching over, you grabbed a condom and sheathed his length before placing him at your entrance. As you sank down onto him, you moaned at the way he filled you. “This was not the way I expected tonight to go.”

“Me either,” he mumbled. “But I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a hope in the back of my mind.” He sat up to meet you and placed his hand at the small of your back, encouraging you to grind back and forth on top of him. 

“Oh my god.”

Your movements quickened in desperation. His clay-clad hands grabbed at your skin, the cold substance practically melting against you. When you moaned, he buried your head in his neck, whispering all sorts of things into your ear to drive you wild. “I love the sounds you make,” he said softly. You trembled and moved faster, your hips having a mind of their own. “Look at me.” That kind of intimacy was always difficult for you.

“You got to look at my face before,” he smirked. He did have a point. As you bit your lip, your orgasm cresting faster and faster, you looked into his eyes and cried out. He kissed your body as it trembled above him, quickly following your release with his own. “Oh god.” He laughed and fell backward toward the floor, bringing you down to lay flush against him.

With a laugh, you looked around. The studio was a mess. The sculpture was intact, but the scraps of clay were all over the place, some stuck to the floor, the walls, your bodies. It was a mess. “We made a mess,” you giggled. 

“A beautiful mess, but don’t worry I’ll help you clean up.” He looked up toward his sculpture, noticing that there were still bits and pieces toward the bottom that needed to be done. “Maybe we can get together another day so you can finish that sculpture?”

You kissed his nose and laughed. “How about I finish the sculpture myself and next time, we meet at one of our apartments so we can do this in the comfort of a nice warm bed?” 

“Sounds great.” He reached for your head and brought you in for a sweet kiss. You really did need to get up and clean the studio; it was a mess, but Spencer was right. It was kind of beautiful, and you wanted to revel in it for a little longer.

Magnetic Chapter 34: Ice

Dean Winchester x Reader

1100 Words

Story Summary: After your Dad was killed, you were shocked to learn all about his hidden life. Deciding to follow in his footsteps, you turn to a life of hunting, surprised at how well you adapted. Then comes along Sam and Dean Winchester, turning your life upside down. You and Dean don’t get along at first, but then things soon start to change.

Catch Up Here: Masterpost

“Brigid, you are very welcome here.” Elenore stated, her entire demeanor changing. Gone was the brash and rude older woman. In her place was the facade of a servant, ready to do Brigid’s work with complete compliance.

“Elenore, I tire of our calls. This must be the fourth one in a matter of weeks. What do you need this time?” Brigid asked, and from your vantage point you could see the furious look on her face. You had an inkling that this wasn’t going to end well with Elenore.

“I’ve found him. The male specimen that you’ve been looking forward.” Elenore mumbled, slightly overwhelmed by Brigid’s tone of annoyance. “I have the ritual ready to go, I’m just waiting for your command.”

Watching as Brigid floated over towards Sam, you waited with baited breath, hoping she wouldn’t find Sam acceptable. “He is tall, and he looks strong.” Brigid started, running her long pale fingers along his unclothed chest. Reaching up, she grabbed his chin, her fingers digging in to his chin. With her occupied by Sam, you wondered if you could sneak out and gather your gun. It wouldn’t work on Brigid, but at least it might get rid of Elenore.

“Stay.” She ordered as you took a step towards the door. “It would anger me greatly if you decided to leave.”

Not wanting to have her strike you down where you stood, you stopped. “Maybe you are smarter than Eelenore is. She has become a nuisance, and I’m in need of new help.”

“If that means you let Sam go.” You offered, hearing Sam’s grunts of disapproval. “Let him go, and I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Hmm. Elenore was right, he is a great specimen. But not exactly what I want. You see, Eelenore was brash, and didn’t understand exactly what I was looking for. She has become a liability.”

“But Brigid, I’ve done everything you’ve asked.” Elenore begged. “Please. Give me a second chance!”

Without saying another word, Brigid waved her hand and Elenore’s entire body began smoking. Her pitiful screams filled the air as her body slowly burned from the inside out, before slowly collapsing onto the floor. Brigid turned her frosty blue eyes your way. “That is what will happen to you if you disobey me. Or go against me. Now see him unchained before my mind is altered.”

Rushing forward, you quickly undid the clasps holding Sam upwards, his strong body weighing you down as you tried to hold him. Within seconds he had gotten enough feeling back in his legs to hold himself up. “Y/N, don’t do this. You know it’s just going to end badly. Don’t trade your life for mine.”

“Sam, it’s for the best. It’s what Dean would have wanted. And at least she wants me alive for right now.” You whispered, before giving him a confident smile even though you didn’t feel confident at all. “Please, just get out of here. Then you and Dean can figure out a way to take her out.”

“Y/N, that is enough. Let him go, or suffer my wrath.” Brigid spoke from behind you, and with a pat on Sam’s shoulder, you stepped back.

“Sam, it’s better this way. You need to go on, helping your brother hunt monsters. Nobody will miss me.” You said, your heart breaking a little at those words. With the way Dean had treated you just hours earlier, they rang a little too close to home.

“I will take good care of her. As long as she obeys me in all things.” Brigid answered. “Now, be gone before my patience wears thin.”

With another glance your way, Sam left the warehouse, leaving you alone with a Goddess. “You are a hunter?” Brigid asked, her form still floating inches off the ground, her silver gown moving in an invisible breeze.

Nodding, you stood before her. Not wanting to anger her, you kept your gaze down, your shoulders hunched. “A hunter is a strong person. Especially the female form. You will do nicely.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, what do you have in store for me?” You asked, curious but afraid to know at the same time.

Feeling her icy cold hands upon your chin, she lifted it until you could gaze into her pale, unhuman eyes. Eyes that held you to your spot. “Much. I’ve just lost my perfect specimen of a human male, and I’m thinking you will have to find me another one. It’s worth it, having someone such as you working for me.”

“How can I do that?” You asked, wanting to know as much of her plan as possible. Needing as much information about this Goddess as possible, in case the chance to kill her ever came up.

“I am going to bestow a great gift on you. One I have never given another human being before. With this gift, you will be able to lure any man you choose, and I will have my pick from hundreds.”

“What are you going to do with these men?” You asked her, as her hand moved from your chin, down to press right over your heart.

“Why, I am going to find the man who can become my equal. My life is lonely, and I am in need of a man who is strong enough, virile enough to withstand the change. To be able to give me the greatest gift a Goddess of fertility can require.”

“You want to have kids.” You answered, surprising her.

“I chose well. Not only are you brave, but you are strong too. Yes. I have been locked up for centuries, recently let out. My one job was to create life, more Gods and Goddesses roaming the Earth, controlling the pathetic humans. Now that I’m free, I can do this once again.”

Without another word, her hand pressed hard against your chest. What felt like freezing fire swept through your veins, from your head to your toes. Throwing your head back, you couldn’t control the scream that left your lips as the blood pumping through your veins turned into liquid ice. Minutes passed by, and soon the warm and healthy human you had once been was now a cold and frigid shell. Your e/c eyes were now a pale blue to match hers, your skin pale, much paler than before.

“Y/N, how do you feel?” She asked, running her long finger down your cheek.

“Cold, and empty.” You answered. It was true. Where had once been love and kindness, only lay the basic instincts, and your will to obey everything Brigid commanded.

Magnetic Tags:  @anokhi07 @acreativelydifferentlove @smlltowndivajessica @clairese1980 @rex-regina @aquabrie @nathaliabakes @nikasatrash @thelasttardistech @disneychic8 @anokhi07@acreativelydifferentlove

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The Plus-sized Avenger

Pairing: Steve x FemReader Words: 633 Warnings: fluff, kisses, self-esteem issues due to body image A/n: lunchtime Drabble (because I can writing and eat at the same time!). ❤

“Okay, now look at this one.” Y/N pointed to the plus sized model on the computer screen. “This one is considered ‘plus sized’.”

“But why?”

“Because she’s bigger than the other one, Steve.” Y/N sighed.

She had been trying to explain the concept of “plus sized” to Steve for the past 30 minutes. She didn’t know if he had been this dense in the 40’s when it came to women, but it was entirely possible the serum had enhanced his awkward as well as his biceps. Steve had finally asked Y/N out and as much as she really really wanted to say yes, she felt like Steve didn’t have an appropriate idea of the kind of woman he should be with. Y/N pretty much loved him already, everyone in compound saw that as clear as day, but someone as beautiful as Steve should be with someone beautiful. She didn’t think she was ugly, but being considered plus sized, she thought maybe Steve would change his mind once he saw the difference.

“She’s bigger? She’s skinny!” Steve studied the model on the screen closer. “I guess I just don’t understand what any of this has to do with us going on a date.”

“Well Steve” Y/N began, “I think maybe you don’t know what kind of woman you should be with. You are… pretty much a perfect specimen of humanity. You’re beautiful. You should be with someone who matches you, not someone like me.”

“Do you think you’re not pretty enough for me?” Steve asked incredulously.

“It’s not that I don’t think I’m pretty enough for you, Steve, I’m not ANYTHING enough for you! I’m chubby, I can’t even admit the size of my uniform. I’m over opinionated, my hair does whatever the heck it wants, the only thing I have going for me is my power and that’s still hardly anything to brag about!”

Y/N sighed and stood up to leave. “You need someone who matches you, Steve, you deserve it.”

Steve leapt up and grabbed Y/N’s arm and pull her into his arms. “I deserve to make my own choice. I know you, I’ve watched you for months, I’ve seen you in every situation, on missions and at home. Your kindness and gentleness are well known throughout the compound. I’ve always thought you were beautiful and as I’ve gotten to know you better, I couldn’t help but fall in love with you.”

“You love me?” Y/N’s voice trembled.

“I love you, Y/N. I love your laugh, I love your smile.” He grinned as his hands went to caress her hips, “I love these, the way they move when you walk.” He hands began to travel up Y/N’s sides. “I love your body, I love your mind, I love your powers, I love all of you head to toe and back up again. And, if pretty much everyone on the compound can be believed, you might just love me too.”

“I-I… well… um…might have a certain fondness for you.”

He brought his face inches from Y/N’s, his clear blue eyes searching hers. “You might, huh?”

“I probably do.” Y/N gulped nervously.

“Probably?” Steve lips ghosted over hers, his arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer.

“Chances are good.”

“How good?” Steve’s lips traveled down her jaw and nibbled at a particularly sensitive part of her neck.

“Really good.” Y/N gasped. Weaving her fingers through his perfect blonde hair, she dragged his lips back hers. As Y/N felt Steve smile against her mouth, she began to wonder if Steve was as awkward as he seemed or if she had just been played. He nibbled on her lower lip, causing her to moan and she instantly decided she didn’t care.

Taglist: @writingwithadinosaur (let me know if you want to be added to the lunchtime drabble list)


The Perfect Man AU

Pepper started seeing Jason in her senior year of college with their school’s study abroad program in Paris. He’s not at all her type but she can’t deny that his effervescent personality is infectious.  While he’s incredible for her soul during the stressful times of her life, they admit that their lives are going in completely opposite directions.  Their breakup is amicable and they remain friends with standing lunch dates.  He goes on to pursue his hobbies like pilates and surfing while Pepper focuses on continuing to conquer the business world at her new position of personal assistant to Tony Stark at Stark Industries.

“Um, Pepper? What is this?”

“That is a photo album.  People used to make them years ago to store their most treasured memories.”

“And your most treasured memories are with this… god of a man?  Seriously, is he even real?”

“Some of them, yes.  Jason and I had a lot of fun when we dated.”

“You DATED him?!?”

“We met in college and dated for a while.  We broke up about a year after I became your PA.”

“Why?  I mean, I hate to point out the obvious no matter how much I want to hate him but look at him.  He’s the perfect specimen.”

“Our lives were going down different paths.  We still see each other for lunch all the time.  And he comes by for my pilates classes.”

“HE’S the instructor for that?!  He’s been in my house and all this time I never knew???  You know what, that’s probably for the best.  I don’t think I can ever stand next to him.  I’m picturing a lot of insecurity on my part.”

“Why did you ever stop dating him?  He’s like the perfect human being.  I feel so sexually threatened right now.  Pepper, stop laughing.  This is a new feeling for me.  Your babies would be adorable.

“………….. wait, why do you even have this picture?  And why is there a smiley face on it?  Pep?  Pepper!”

- Drowning in cuddles.kisses when you wake up.

-Him kissing you really early in the morning because he just got back home, and your sleeping face is the best comfort from the horrors of the night. 

- “Mmmm, how was patrol?”

-”I’m sorry did I wake you? Go back to sleep, I’ll be back in a bit.”

- You having to separate his superhero suit from his clothes when you do laundry.

-”Richard this is a  thousand dollar Armani suit, could you at least separate them when you take them off?”

-Calling him Richard when you’re upset

-”It’s fine it’s Bruce’s money, don’t worry about it.” 

-Him waving nonchalantly, while you crumple his Nightwing suit and throw it at him. 

- “Hey! I’ll have you know violence is never the answer.”

-”Shut up Dick.”

- You hardly ever going to bed with him, but usually waking up to his kisses or him holding you protectively.

- Him being fiercely loyal. 

- “What’d you say about (Y/N)?”

- Him always showing you off, and boasting about you.

-”We get it Dick, you love (Y/N). They’re a perfect human specimen, and have a perfect personality, WE GET IT.”

-”But Jason, you don’t understand, yesterday They to-”

-”Dick I swear to god.”

- Damian being a little jealous of you.

- “Hello, (Y/L/N)”

-Him warming up to you relatively fast.

- “You don’t deserve them Grayson.” 

- Being really proud of your baby.

- Lipstick kisses all over his face all of the time.

- Him not really minding, because hey, who doesn’t like kisses.

- Him always holding your face in his hands.

- Pinching your cheeks teasingly.

- “OW, Dick stop!”

- You sometimes washing his hair for him in the kitchen sink.

- “It’s getting kind of long, have you thought about cutting it?”

-”……Hey (Y/N), can you cut my hair?”

- All your friends being a little jealous that you snagged a hottie.

- Him being an Ass man and always grabbing your butt teasingly whenever he walks by.

- Him practically worshiping you.

- You just completely adoring him. 

The Bet- One Shot

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 979

Request: This is a prompt sent by the lovely @imhereforbvcky, chosen from a prompt list #129: I saw you staring at each other. I just wasn’t sure if it was sexual tension or murderous rage.” 

Authors Note: Just a little one shot for my fav. I hope you like it my love, I chose to do it with Bucky cause I am just such a sucker for cocky, joking Bucky. Enjoy my love! 

Feel free to submit prompts or requests for drabbles and one shots!

“Hey doll, what’s…” “No” You quickly interrupt Bucky, taking a sip of your drink as your attention focuses forward, intent on ignoring the tall brunette beside you. The party stirs around you as Bucky looks at you, taken aback. “Awww come on, you’re not still upset about that little accident before, are you?”

You roll your eyes, remembering how long you had spent in the shower, washing globs of flour out of your hair. “You’re not seriously trying to pretend that throwing flour all over me was an ‘accident?” You raise your eyebrows at him, miming air quotes as he tries to choke down a smirk.

“I didn’t dump flour on you, I just… sneezed… and you happened to be in the wrong location.” Bucky smiled, unable to control his laughter as you stare at him intently, leaning closer to him. “You’re on my list Barnes. It took me a whole hour to get that flour off of me.” You place your hand on his thigh as you lean closer to him, stopping only an inch from his face.

“Do you know what happens, when flour mixes with water Bucky?” Your fingers dig into his thigh as you stare him down. “It turns to paste.” You growl, your lips twitching slightly at the guilty smile illuminating Bucky’s face.

“Settle something for us,” Natasha interrupts, Sam following close after her as she leans behind you, signaling for the bartender. You kept your fingers clenched into Bucky’s thigh, your eyes unmoving from him as his attention darts slightly to Natasha behind you. His lips tight in a wide smile as he tries to control his laughter.

We saw you staring at each other,” Natasha continues, leaning back to look at you two as she hands Sam his drink, stirring her martini as she looks at you and Bucky. “We just weren’t sure if it was sexual tension or murderous rage?” Natasha’s words penetrate both of you, as your heads snap towards her, answering hurriedly.

“Murderous rage.” You growl tripping over Bucky’s words as he laughs out “Sexual tension.” “What?” You whip your head quickly towards Bucky, your eyebrows flying up in shock. His face is quickly reddening, his jaw tensing as he keeps his eyes focused on Nat, determined not to look at you.

“Sexual tension? You’re kidding me, right?” You bark at Bucky, as Sam whistles fretfully, “Seems we’ve touched a nerve.” He jokes, his laugh betraying his nervousness, “We’ll just leave you two to sort this out.” He continues, arm wrapping around Natasha’s waist as they retreat, “Try not to kill each other ok?” Natasha says, allowing Sam to guide her forward, “If you kill her she’s just proven right Barnes.” Sam jokingly tosses over his shoulder as they move away.

“Bucky,” You ask, still waiting for answers. His eyes close as he takes a deep breath, turning to you, his stormy blue gaze focusing on you, “Yes?” he asks innocently, again fighting the smile pulling at the corners of his lips. You stare at him, wondering what the hell he was thinking, “You can’t tell me you haven’t thought of it, of us.” He insists, gesturing animatedly between the two of you. You look at him, unsure of how to respond.

If you were being honest, of course you’ve thought of it. You spent most of your time working with Bucky, living in the same space, watching him train. He was a perfect human specimen. You would be lying if you said that your knees didn’t go a little weak every time he looked at you with those bewitching blue eyes, his sharp jaw framed by curtains of smooth dark hair.

“See…” Bucky smiled, noting your elongated silence, “You have thought of it.” He smiles, quickly finishing his drink as he stands up, moving into the crowd. You rise hurriedly to your feet, chasing after him.

“Hey,” you yell, grabbing his metal arm to spin him around to face you. “And what if I have? What difference does it make?” You ask, looking up at him, the party blurring around you. He steps closer to you, closing the small distance between your two bodies as his hand slides onto your waist, holding you to him.

He ducks down slightly, his lips brushing at your ear, making your eyes close as you suppress a shiver, “Doll… it makes all the difference in the world.” His lips graze gently against your forehead as he pulls back to look at you. You feel your heartbeat quicken in your chest as you read his gaze, pupils blown wide with wanting.

“I have… I do.” You breathe, your voice shaking slightly. Bucky’s face cracks into a broad grin as his hand rising up to caress your cheek, sliding along your jaw. He gently tilts your face up to his as he bends down, his lips connecting with yours, making your heart slam against your ribs.

His lips move forcefully against yours, his metal hand tensing around your waist, pulling you urgently against him. You relax into his grip, moving fervently with his kiss as he bends you back ever so slightly.

His grip slackens as his lips slow their movement, his teeth pulling at your bottom lip as he pulls away, a lustful growl rumbling quietly in his chest. You smile up at him as he beams at you. “So am I still on your list?” He jokes with you, laughing slightly, “Buck,” you breathe grinning at him, as you nip playfully at his jaw, “You’re enemy number 1.” He beams as he pulls you to his lips once more.

“So…” Natasha rolls her eyes, leaning back against the bar, watching her friends kiss in the middle of the crowd. “Guess it was sexual tension after all.” She smiles, extending her hand to Sam as he reluctantly thrusts a $50 into her hand.  


Today we have the greatest example of the slow crumbling of the patriarchy. Many see the patriarchy as being strengthened when a despot is in power. However this is a perfect example of the fragility of the male ego and when it is at its most delicate. Being hyper aware of the systems The patriarchy uses is how we pull the wool from our eyes and the first step towards action. Though you may not feel it, we are most powerful right now.

1. THE PATRIARCHY IS RACIST TOO. This is number one because women of color are marginalized within feminism. This is a good time to mention the fact that if your feminism doesn’t include Black Lives Matter you are doing it wrong. No one has less of a voice and more of a struggle, through out history, than women of color. This brings me to the point that women can very much be party to the Patriarchy.

2. THE PATRIARCHY SAYS ONLY CIS MEN MATTER. The patriarchy does not recognize trans men as men or trans women as women. This is extremely problematic. The patriarchy is the man pillar holding up the binary. It also does not want women to recognize non-cis peoples in an effort to keep these people as an other. You obviously can be non binary and still be feminist and also against feminism. Trans men and women need to be included in your feminism. Period.

3. THE PATRIARCHY DOES NOT WANT YOU TO LOVE YOURSELF. If you loved yourself fully you would feel the need to consume much much less. The patriarchy counts on you buying things you don’t need outside of things you like and just make you feel good. It makes money of insecurity. Additionally, “female” razors, soaps, etc. are priced higher than equal male products. Pay attention to this and don’t buy things just because they are supposedly made for women.

4. THE PATRIARCHY WILL ALWAYS PLAY THE VICTIM. One of the greatest cons of all time is the notion that women (Eve, for example ) have been the villain. This is abusive talk/behavior. Be hyper vigilant about men who are manipulative. They will pivot in an argument and create false blame for you to feel guilt. They will list things they believe your wrong doings to be in order to escape blame from themselves or take responsibility. They will flat out lie to you and everyone around you.

5. THE PATRIARCHY WILL DO NOTHING FOR YOU. Though you may see men seem to stand for you do not believe they are with you until you see real action from them. They will use their amiable talk to try and earn points with you. Don’t trust anyone with out clearly seeing what they stand for.

6. THE PATRIARCHY WILL ALWAYS MAKE YOU HYPER AWARE OF YOUR BODY. Catcalls are just one example of this. Unsolicited comments on your body are often problematic and contribute to your insecurity. Compliments are great but pay attention to what they are actually saying and remember you are much more than a body and face. Do not stay with someone who constantly comments on how you look, they are attempting to manipulate you into a vision of something ideal for them but it doesn’t and will never. Please remember you are beautiful and you don’t NEED to change anything that doesn’t feel true and real to you.

7. THE PATRIARCHY IS PRESENT IN ALL AREAS OF MODERN SOCIETY. Don’t think just because you might see many women in your field that the patriarchy isn’t present. From business to art, suppression and inequality exists. Look up businesses and corporations before you support them and do your best to buy from female entrepreneurs and artists.

8. THE PATRIARCHY DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW YOUR POWER. Women have been suppressed because we carry real power that men don’t inherently have the way we do. We bring life into the world and we are sacred. We are sexual power incarnate. Never mistake superficial masculinity as power. When women truly insist their voice be heard the is no stopping them.

9. THE PATRIARCHY DOESN’T WANT YOU TO BE SEXUALLY ACTIVE / ENJOY SEX / BE DOMINANT ON YOUR OWM TERMS. Slut shaming is the robbing of sexual power by the patriarchy. They would not have you be as “promiscuous” as they are for then they can not claim possession over you. There is a difference between loyalty and devotion and subjectivity and dominance. You have every right to have as much sex with as many partners as you want. You have every right to say no to sex or be celebrate. You have every right to change your mind about having sex. You have every right to demand sex on your own terms and that person must oblige. You have every right when it comes to your own body. There is no such thing as a slut, there are only women acting with the same liberal sexual freedom that a man does.
10. THE PATRIARCHY INSISTS SEX WORK IS NOT REAL WORK. Prostitution is the world oldest profession. Men took away the freedom here immediately to take away the power women have to use their bodies and sexuality to make a living. A pimp is seen as something to aspire to while a prostitute is seen as a degrading and worthless position for a woman to have. We must reclaim sex work. It is real work no matter what anyone wants to say about it, and it is, rather unfortunately, the only option many women in the world have to survive. It is a woman’s right to use her body for sex work. It is her right to keep every dime of what she earns for it. It is extremely important legitimatize ONLY independent sex work. Thousands of people are sold into sex slave trade around the world all the time. This is an abomination and cannot be tolerated. Please understand the differences around sex work and support women doing it for themselves and take action in any way you can to abolish it as abuse and slavery. (Trans women must obviously included in this.)

11. THE PATRIARCHY IS TERRIFIED OF WOMEN IN POWER. Trump is actively using a private phone and server as President of the U.S. If you think sexism was not a factor in the election you are severely blinded. The world is terrified of women, again, because women hold innate power and this is not the status quo. There are only 18 female world leaders right now. The patriarchy fears women in power because they are afraid women would hold the same oppression to men that they have held over us for centuries. They will do everything they can to keep women out of power at every level of business and government.

12. THE PATRIARCHY DEMANDS SMEARING OF WOMENS HEALTH INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO ABORTION. You cannot be against pro-choice and be a part of real feminism. You can have your own opinion about abortion but if you support the stripping of a women’s choice to have an abortion then you are a part of the patriarchy. Period.

13. THE PATRIARCHY INSISTS THAT WOMEN CAN NOT BE NATURAL. The patriarchy acts as if periods are taboo and embarrassing. It acts as if women should not be allowed body hair. In addition to being a perfect specimen we must also barely be human. It insists tampons be a commodity that is also taxed. The patriarchy will do nothing for you but tell you how you are not correct in your being.

14. THE PATRIARCHY HAS ALWAYS BEEN IN POWER IN MOST SOCIETIES BUT IT IS NOT AS STRONG AS IT APPEARS. In the same way men overcompensate in their own lives the patriarchy as a whole overcompensated for its huge weakness. This is extremely apparent in its actions. All we did was march and it resulted in one of the largest if not the largest protests in the world and it shook the patriarchy. Feminism must be at the forefront of all our lives and we must have integrity in it. This is how it will be dismantled. Do not be afraid of it and do not feel alone. The most important thing you can do is enlighten other women so that they understand how to keep feminism inclusive and whole. Nothing can stop women as a unified force, especially not the shaky, insecure patriarchy.


My Friends Brother - Luke - Part 1

hey guys, Luke isn’t really in this one. But its the set up for the rest of the story. also let me know what you guys though and if you want another part. send it through here 

School. First day back of the year and your already going to kill Ashley and her squad of bitches. You’ve been here a total of 3 hours and she’s already managed to spill her drink on you and her bitches have managed to shove you into 4 lockers causing you to drop everything. The only reason these are so harsh on you, is because you may have accidentally called one a bitch, pulled the other girls hair, slapped one. But you stayed away from them you didn’t want their shit to ruin you anymore, especially after Ashley stole your guy best friend and turn him into her boyfriend, she demanded that he broke all contact from you and that’s what he did. He didn’t even acknowledge you anymore, and it kind of hurt so you stayed away. Didn’t need it in your life. You only had 2 more hours left in this hell hole and after that it was your last year. You sit in your biology class, not really paying attention, because let’s be honest you don’t care about plants and ecology.

Keep reading


Fandom- Haikyuu! 

Pairing- Levyaku

Summary:  “Its alright,” he mumbles as he gets more comfortable, and he takes in a deep breath, enjoying the smell of soap, bubbles and Lev. Its an interesting combination, one he likes far more than he should.

A/N- finally got around to writing some levyaku and it is 100% inspired by this adorable piece by @sunsteez :D I hope you like it Elly! :3 

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Photographs (Sebaciel AU)

Okay so dropdeaddarlingbassy gave me the inspiration to put this up here and it goes off of an idea I saw on tumblr of an AU and yeah… This is only like the first part so if you’d like more please do say and I’ll try to write it~^·^ I do hope you enjoy.


The man held his camera up to the sky, snapping a picture of the clouds, pinks and blues mixing together as the sun set oh so beautifully, he brought the lense down with a small smile at the few photos he’d got only to be taken off guard by a person, with such a striking blue in his iris’, Sebastian needed to get closer, zooming in just wasn’t enough, in this moment and so he started walking towards the other.

“Amazing…” He muttered under his breath, not noticing just how close he’d gotten to the other before he snapped up another picture, the boy in question looking to the man with confusion on his features, a small blush dusting over his normally pale cheeks as he coughed to bring the man’s attention to him. Sebastian smiled happily, looking down to the pictures of deep blue eyes, he could see the pain, beauty and everything the person felt, only making his heart melt all the more at the deep blue he was seeing.

“Excuse me…?” The boy in question brought the man’s attention to him, Sebastian smiling at the other before holding out a hand for the other to shake, Ciel took it before speaking up yet again, “Might I ask what exactly it is you intend to do with those pictures…?” The bluenette trailed off, Sebastian simple still in awe that a human this beautiful could exist at all in this God forsaken world.

“Model for me.” The raven haired man stated quite simply, smiling even wider at the other, raising an eyebrow to which the smaller boy scoffed, shaking his head, only having the taller frown, how could this doll of a human being say no to that? He wanted- no needed to know him… Needed to find out everything he could over this perfect specimen.

“Of course not, I’m not a model… Just find someone else and delete those photos.” Ciel huffed out, turning on his heel to walk away, Sebastian almost didn’t realise until a few seconds later as he followed the boy, leaning down to speak to the other as he carried on walking, getting annoyed that this man seemed to think he had the right to follow him, he could have been a murderer for all Ciel knew, “Stop following me.”

Sebastian could only smile as he held out his hand again, “Sebastian Michaelis, and you are…?” The bluenette stayed silent, sighing as it didn’t seem that the man was going to give up, instead he moved to sit down at a bench in the park, Sebastian quick to join him.

“Why exactly are you stalking me… For all I know you could be a murderer.” The smaller stated quite simply, looking over the man who was chuckling to himself now at the boys assumption, shaking his head.

“Now now, I don’t want you thinking that… In fact, I’m a photographer and simply want to know your name.” Ciel’s eyes widened in amusement before he sighed lightly, looking over the man’s features, going to talk before getting a call to interrupt the pair’s convocation, he held up a finger, signalling he’d be quick on the phone which he answered.

“Hello? Oh… Yes, Of course… Well I’ll be over soon, I just needed a walk, okay… Yes, see you later.” He hung up, sighing again, forgetting about Sebastian only for the man to stand and take his shoulder, a small smirk playing at his features still, “Look, if i tell you my name will you just leave me alone?” Sebastian smiled and nodded quite happily, letting go of the boys shoulder, “Ciel, Ciel Phantomhive, now I need to go.”

Sebastian smiled, noting the name, bloody hell this boy was going to be the end of him, he needed to know him more than just this, just as Ciel Phantomhive, the boy with striking blue eyes and a face angels would envy, the boy who’s very name meant heaven to the raven haired man and so, he kept following Ciel.

“Well then Ciel… Will you model for me?” The bluenette carried on walking, noting how the man was trailing behind him like a lost puppy of some sort, he pinched his nose lightly, stopping to look into Sebastian’s deep red hues.

“What happened to you leaving me alone if I gave you my name?” The bluenette raised an eyebrow at the opposite, only for the said man to smirk and look straight back at the boys eyes, getting lost in them as he answered.

“I might have lied…” He trailed off and Ciel would have been lying if he didn’t inwardly laugh at the man’s antics, sighing outwardly though of course, he was needed, he needed to get home and didn’t have time for such games as this.

“What will succeed in getting you to leave me alone?” He asked, looking impatient as ever, Sebastian smirking at the opportunity, pulling out a card.

“Call me… I want one photo shoot and then I’m out of your life forever, if you should wish that is.” Ciel took the card sceptical of it as he inspected it.

“Isn’t there other people you could get to do this for you? I’m nothing special.” He spoke out, Sebastian raising his eyebrow yet again as he chuckled, looking over the small frame of the boy.

“Theres many other people… None of which could compare to you, so will you?” The taller looked down, smirk as ever across his features, only to widen at Ciel’s exasperated sigh and nod as he placed the card in his pocket, patting it down.

“One photo shoot and then we’re done… I’ll call you when I can.” Ciel nodded at the other, not knowing why his face flushed at the compliment, turning on his heel yet again and walking as Sebastian shouted after him.

“I’ll be expecting it!” Sebastian could  barely contain himself as he looked over the photos he’d been lucky enough to get of the boy, starting to walk back to his apartment, speaking out the younger boys name as if testing it on his tongue, “Ciel Phantomhive…” at this would be a game both sides were going to lose.


Emperor Nicholas I was a very impressive man. To use the words of a recent historian: “With his height of more than six feet, his head always held high, a slightly aquiline nose, a firm and well-formed mouth under a light moustache, a square chin, an imposing, domineering, set face, noble rather than tender, monumental rather than human, he had something of Apollo and of Jupiter … Nicholas was unquestionable the most handsome man in Europe.” Many of the contemporaries of the emperor shared this extravagant judgement, eulogies of his appearance and his presence being by no means limited to his own camp, that is, to the Russian court circles, and to their Prussian and Austrian counterparts. For instance, Andrew Dickson White wrote in his autobiography as he reminisced about his diplomatic service in Russia:

“The Czear at that period, Nicholas I, was a most imposing personage, and was generally considered the most perfect specimen of a human being, physically speaking, in all Europe. Colossal in stature, with a face such as one finds on a Greek coin, but overcast with a shadow of Muscovite melancholy; with a bearing dignified, but with a manner not unkind, he bore himself like a god … Whenere I saw him … there was forced to my lips the thought: “You are the most majestic being ever created.”

Nicholas Riasanovsky: Nicholas I and Official Nationality in Russia 1825-1855


Happy Pansexual Visibility Day!f

So I actually discovered I was Pansexual one day because it suddenly occurred to me that I really didn’t care about a person’s genitalia or gender; if I was attracted to them, then I was good to go.

Remember that if you feel something, it’s normal. You are just as perfect a specimen of a human being as anyone else. DFTBA

-Stephen (dftbempathetic)

RP with thedeadlyscientist.

The clash of steel on steel was heard around an empty field, two brothers, one the sword enemy of the other, fought once again to try to gain an edge over the other and end their eternal conflict.

“EXTREMANUS!” A voice shouted, That voice was Solar, casting the most powerful fire spell he knew, it couldn’t be cast by a mere mortal, but his body contained massive amounts of energy, so it could both endure the stress of the spell, and fuel it at the same time.

A white flame, bright and intense enough to be seen from orbit if you where lucky, was seen as it consumed a massive area in flames, killing everything around it and rending the area baren of life.

Except for the caster of the spell and the blasted target. Aghone had survived, having flipped dimensions at the last second he avoided he spell altogether.

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“Fighting fire with fire now aren’t we brother?” Aghone asked a weary Solar, actually floating off the ground slightly, the wind blowing his hat off and showing his bright red hair. Solar falling on one knee, not yet recovering from the spell.

“You’re too tired to talk? Perfect! That gives me some time to gloat!” Aghone said as Solar gripped his Sword tighter, trying to recover as fast as possible.

“You see, I knew today was going to be special that’s why I decided to bring some of your best friends along to witness this!” Aghone cackled, a sudden surge of energy filling the air as several beings arrived in the air around them both.


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(Not my Image.)

a genetically engineered clone, changed to the point where it could hardly be considered human anymore, wrapped in high tech armor and infused with a dangerous amount of magical energy, designed to be the perfect physical specimen to combat any non godlike threats. Owned by something called Mystery Crown stepped through an electric portal of purple, his eyes glowing blue through his visor.

Proto Crown, a man of wood, he is made almost completely out of solid sections of wood floating controlled by a powerful force, His hands where made of a strange metal, and he had no torso, yet he still held together. His face being a white mask and a golden crown over his head. legitimate eyes being visible through the mask, black and yellow iris leer at Solar, Also a project of crown, He appeared in a yellow portal of energy.Carrying a large Scythe. He glowed with the purifying effects of a particular blood, yet it didn’t seem to affect him in the slightest.

He truely was the most powerful creature anyone has ever seen, it was fortold he would slay gods(And demons) with ease and be the death of many, which is why many have tried to kill him before his creation, and before he has gained his maximum power. He has yet to gain such power yet, but he is still extremely skilled with abilities that make him nigh unkillable.

When he stepped through he twirled his scythe, slamming it into the ground as he cast an illusion that he was a handsome human man wearing a white suit.

From nowhere stepped Mystery Crowns most powerful agent, nameless and silent he simply looked on through his hood.

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No one knows how long he was standing there, he is stealthy enough to even avoid detection to vampires, which surprised him.

Solar looked around him with wide eye’s behind his mask, these guys by themselfs could kill him at his best! And many others! Now… He was tired, and he was outnumbered by all of them.
“When the hell did you get Crown to lend you their toys?” Solar asked, trying to remain cool as he slowly got up, panting slightly but trying to hide it.

“My buisness.” Aghone chuckled, twirling his blade again. He would rather kill Solar by himself, but today he was particularly pissed.


Originally posted by natashasromanoff

I mean look at that smile

Originally posted by lufelicity

Originally posted by papertownsy

he goes from dork to 

Originally posted by luvinchris

daddy real quick.

Originally posted by steviepinkiepierogers

@ god, let me that log.

Originally posted by madamequantum

I could go on

Originally posted by klarolineishot

don’t even get me started when he looks like a soft puppy that I could cuddle all day

and those sick dance moves

Originally posted by rowdy-redhead

he’s the perfect specimen; dorky, hot, incredibly kind, and overall a ray of sunshine.

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

Not to mention that he’s a superhero both on the big screen 

and in real life.


On your birthday I want to thank you for being such a kind hearted human being, for doing your absolute best to please your fans but at the same time taking care of yourself; you’re an inspiration to many, myself included. Thank you for being such a gift to the world. So keep killing us with your charm and good looks, keep inspiring others to really believe in themselves, but most importantly, keep on living life to the fullest, laughing without holding back  

and keep on holding your left boob (and the others around you).

Happy 35th Birthday Chris! 

Color Pie Friday: The Gang Gets Colorized

Last week I promised an origin story. It starts a few months ago, when I was trying to think of television shows with five main characters that each represent one of the five colors of Magic. Mark Rosewater always points to The Simpsons, but surely there had to be another. I stumbled upon one that had a funny quirk to it: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. A lot of people forget that Always Sunny has been running since 2005. Season 10 starts next year, but 11 and 12 have already been purchased. It’s going to go down as one of the longest running comedy series in history. If you haven’t seen it and are totally OK with black, edgy, politically incorrect comedy, treat yourself.

So what does Always Sunny have to do with Color Pie Friday? It was the inspiration for the whole column. I knew I wanted to write an article about how Mac, Dennis, Frank, Dee, and Charlie each represent a piece of the color pie. But it’s not something I just wanted to jump into with no context. I wanted a well-established foundation to pull from. My thinking was that I would write articles about each color and each color pair, and it would all culminate in an article that showcased the application of color pie thinking.

So here’s what’s happening. I’m going to go through each character and talk about how they represent the color that they represent. But I’m going to talk about the aforementioned quirk: every one of these characters is also part Black (pretty obvious if you’re familiar with the show). So you can see why I wanted to talk about the color pairs before writing this article. Let’s just get on with it, shall we?

Mac Gets Ethical…

“How could a character on Always Sunny be White?” you may ask. But Mac displays many White qualities. First, Mac fills his life with a moral code. Homosexuality is a sin. Abortion is a sin. Lots of things are sins. That’s because Mac is Irish Catholic. Ah, religion! Another of White’s staple features. The best place to look for color pie signifiers is in an argument. Mac is the one who stands for these moral positions that he subscribes to from a higher power. That’s about as White as it gets.

Mac’s White properties exist on a smaller scale too. His martial arts training (a White thing) makes Mac believe that he is a warrior of justice (another White thing!). There is nowhere that this is more evident during his fantasy sequence in “The Gang Saves the Day.” Mac’s fantasy is that he saves the convenience store from evil ninjas before dying a tragic death (and ascending to Heaven after). How honorable (and White).

…But Not Too Ethical.

Ah, but these characters are also all part Black. So Mac isn’t mono-White, but White/Black. As you may recall from my article on this color pair, White/Black is about making rules that benefit you and may only apply to others. That’s Mac all over. “Homosexuality is a sin.” Except when Mac wants to bang Carmen, a transexual woman who frequents Paddy’s Pub. “Abortion is a sin.” Except when Mac wants to avoid siring a child with a woman he met at a pro-life rally. Mac wants everyone to live by the rules he decides are ethical, but tends to be hesitant to follow them himself. And while Mac does want to be the hero, part of that motivation is the selfish desire to be cool.

Dennis Craves Information…

Dennis is the brains of the Gang. He often touts his B.S. in Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. He’s a thinker. A planner. This all follows Blue’s philosophy of using the mind to overcome problems. Blue is also seeking self-perfection. Well, that’s Dennis, who is obsessed with being a perfect human specimen. Everything in Dennis’s life is planned out (by Dennis) so that he (Dennis) looks as good as possible. In “The Gang Saves the Day,” Dennis’s fantasy plays out as a series of perfectly constructed scenarios in which Dennis’s life goes perfectly to plan.

A key part of Blue is the lack of emotional input when making decisions. That’s also Dennis, who is always looking for the rational solution to a problem. Even if Dennis’s thought process is woefully inept (you can be Blue and not so smart!), it’s still how he chooses to solves problems. He’s the least likely to let anger or lust sway him. It’s this quality that makes Dennis bossy and controlling when it comes to Gang dynamics.

…When It’s Helpful.

And that’s the key, isn’t it? Dennis is all about planning and perfection, but rarely for the benefit of others. Dennis is all about Dennis. He’s probably the most selfish member of the Gang, as even his helpful advice is usually given out just to stop others from being annoying. To really see the selfish lack of emotion that rules Dennis’s life, just look at the D.E.N.N.I.S. system. In a classically Blue/Black fashion, Dennis has constructed a rigid system in which he manipulates women into sleeping with him. It’s even though lies and deceit, the key weapons of Blue/Black. With a desire for absolute knowledge, absolute power, and absolute control, it’s no wonder Dennis has a god complex.

Frank is in Charge…

Black is about power at any cost. Frank used to be a ruthless businessman, undercutting the competition at every opportunity in order to pocket more cash for himself. He was the stereotypical selfish industrialist, out for his own gain at the expense of others. When Frank enters the show in Season 2, however, he decides to give up the life of big bucks and live like a regular schlub with Charlie. Of course, none of this changes his superiority complex, and he often flexes his financial muscle in order to stay on top. Whether he’s taunting Dennis and Dee with Christmas presents or buying the land the bar sits on in order to own it, Frank wheels and deals to get his way.

…Except When He Isn’t.

You can’t make a color pair with Black/Black. That’s still mono-Black. Thankfully, Frank is still mono-Black. He suffers the consequences of the color too. Black is about the individual, so it’s not very trusting of others. This has gotten Frank into plenty of trouble over the years. He’s usually the number one suspect when Mac, Dennis, Dee, or Charlie think a conspiracy is afoot. Many episodes break down into a Frank vs. the Gang plot, with the rest of the cast members resenting Frank for something he has done. It’s appropriate, as Frank isn’t a member of the original cast.

Dee is an Emotional Rollercoaster…

Deandra (AKA Dee (AKA Sweet Dee (AKA Bird))) is the Red member of the Gang. She’s the one most governed by her emotions, characterized by her short temper and rebellious nature. Mac and Dennis have made it a habit to put Dee down, always eliciting an outrageous response from bird-girl. Dee is also the most artistic member of the Gang (which isn’t saying much), always going on and on about acting and comedy and how wonderful her nonexistent career is. The trickster personality is also a Red thing (when it’s for entertainment), and Dee is a big believer in pranking and sticking it to others. Ideally, there’s nothing that should be able to stop Dee…

…of Self Destruction.

…But she’s pretty good at doing that herself. As a Black/Red character, Dee’s always looking out for her own wants above anything else. That includes her own needs. In “Charlie Rules the World,” Dee can never make any progress in the game because she’s too focused on the things she thinks are funny (making the Gang look like asses). Later, she wastes real-life money on six-inch acrylic nails because she thought they would look cool. It’s a common pattern for Dee, whose anger and desire for cheap thrills usually prevents her from accomplishing her goals. She’s also easily sidetracked by revenge, deviating from any current plan in a moment’s notice simply out of spite.

Charlie is Charlie…

Charlie does “Charlie work.” That’s as Green as it gets. He spends his time at Paddy’s doing what he’s inherently good at: “cleaning” toilets and killing rats. Charlie forms a predator/prey relationship with the rats, something that he accepts as perfectly normal. When this system is upset in “Charlie: King of the Rats,” Charlie resists the niceties of life and just wants to be left alone with his Charlie work. He’s the character most resistant to change, not even leaving Philadelphia because other places are too not-Philadelphia. If one thing guides Charlie more than anything else, it’s instinct. Charlie rarely has a rationale for what he’s doing. He just does “Charlie stuff.” And hey, he’s even Green Man.

…and Will Always be Charlie.

Charlie is almost feral. But every now and then he shows his humanity, and that’s when the Black in Charlie’s personality shows up. Like any good Black/Green character, Charlie is effective at worming his way through the big picture to get what he wants. In “Charlie Rules the World,” Charlie is able to quickly and effectively figure out how to bend the rules of the online game to his advantage. You might say, “But isn’t Charlie also Red because he spends so much time pursuing the Waitress?” If it was a normal sitcom romance, sure. But Charlie is a crazy stalker, and the Waitress hates him. This is a good example of Black love, as Charlie loves the Waitress because it would be great for him. Charlie is totally aware of the problems he causes the Waitress, but he doesn’t care about her feelings. Thus, Black love and not Red love.

*Cue Music*

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is a rare breed of television show, which is part of why it’s lasted so long. While each character is funny in their own right, this is really an ensemble cast. The fuel of the comedy is the characters interacting with each other. Why does it work so well? Magic characterization says it’s because each character represents a different color. That means that every character pair has shared values and seething conflicts that erupt in fireworks of comedy at every turn.

I’d like to close today by commenting that this is just my personal analysis. I’ll be doing more articles like this in the future, and I’d like them to be jumping-off points for discussion rather than an encyclopedic resource. Some people may agree with me, others won’t. Speak up! If you enjoy the color pie and enjoy other media, this is exactly the kind of thing that’s fun to talk about.

If you fall behind, planeswalkers, I’ll come back for you.