you never told me you figured out the future!

we’ll be alright

→ pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

→ genre: angst & fluff

→ words: 3057

→ warnings: none

→ summary:Pull over. Let me drive for a while.”

Originally posted by jeonilys


The word wasn’t even close to how you felt as of now with the blood boiling under your skin and through your veins, the last few minutes of your fight running through your head over and over again like a broken record.

You were furious. Absolutely outraged by your inconsiderate, selfish boyfriend.

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Tea and Confessions

“Tea and Confessions”

My Masterlist - Here

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2,693

Key: Y/N = Your Name, L/N = Your Last Name, H/C = Your Hair Color, E/C = Your Eye Color

Warnings: Warnings: Mental Health (talk of self harming, anxiety, and depression)

Summary:  Reader is part of the Avengers. She has only been with them for a few months, and is still getting used to it. She was alone for a long time, and tends to freak out around groups. After a particularly difficult time, she decides go to a cafe. She doesn’t tell anyone where she is going, but Bucky sees her leave. He decides to follow her. He stays and keeps her company/lets her vent. Cuteness ensues.

Author’s Note: This is my interpretation of the characters and the reader is one of my own creation. I leave the names and such open so you can put your own name and features in or you can create your own. I know this may not please everyone, but I’m writing this for myself. I hope people will enjoy this fanfic, but I know that you can’t please everyone.

I also want to take the time and thank @goodnightwife for being my beta reader and helping me edit and bounce ideas off.

If you would like to be tagged in any future pieces, please let me know! And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

<3 - 


Tags: @luciebell-writes @goodnightwife

My Masterlist - Here

    Being accepted into the Avengers was something you never thought possible. Yes you had some special abilities, but it was nothing compared to Wanda, Tony, or a certain metallic super soldier that you’ve developed feelings for. Your entire life consisted of being pushed to the side, or told to stay quiet to not seem like a possible threat. This made you into who you are today: A young woman who is still figuring out her powers, but is also stuck seeing herself as an annoyance. 

    As much as you appreciated everything the group has done and continues to do for you, sometimes it gets too much. You aren’t used to being around so many people all the time, and while you had your own room, that wasn’t enough sometimes. All of the talk about missions and training and whatever they were up to was overwhelming.

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one of the most fascinating parts of the passover seder—one of the most eminently quotable, as well—is the narrative requirement that you envision yourself as someone who was taken out of slavery. in many ways, this is a call to action, to social justice: we are tasked with remembering the oppression of our people, and we must look around the world and see the oppression of others. we may not close your eyes and enjoy the victory of freedom: we must mix celebration with sorrow, taking wine out of our goblets with our fingers when we remember the plagues wrecked on the egyptians. this requirement shapes many sedarim all over the world, and i think it allows us to emerge as better people from the eight days of passover, hungry for the thick lushness of bread, for complicated meals and flavors and tastes. for the simplicity and comfort of routine.

but this requirement and call to action is not the only part of the passover seder that instills us with the promise of change. and while a lot of people—including myself—like focusing on the mandate to justice almost exclusively, this year i’ve found myself thinking much more about the happily ever after, about the gift of the ten commandments, the burden of freedom, and that elusive land of milk and honey. this year, for a number of extremely personal and emotional reasons, i’ve been thinking about the way passover is a promise of the future, not just a mandate of the past. the way passover creates a template, tabla rasa, for the year to come. the way it’s a beginning, the way it instills hope, and the way it creates structure for the year to come.

this year i’ve been thinking a lot about after. not just about dayenu (”it would have been enough,” we say, noting our liberation from slavery, our release into the desert, the gift of the torah, the gift of god’s presence), but also about the moment moshe looks over into the land of israel, forward and onward and into the future. the moment the children of israel cross into the land, the moment they put down roots and call themselves tribes of judah, reuven, binyamin. the moment they find names for themselves, find homes, find places where they can plant crops and expect to see them sprout. the moment we, as a wandering, placeless people, put down roots. the moment we become more than a faith–the moment we become a people. the moment we stop worrying about yesterday and today; the moment we can start worrying about tomorrow.

i’ve been thinking a lot about that moment. the apex of self-definition, of coming together, of community and of promise. not because it’s the end of the story, barely mentioned in the haggadah. but because it’s the beginning of the story, in a sense. it’s the moment we put down our history books, sweep away the remnants of food and wine, and talk to one another. it’s the moment we stop remembering, and it’s the moment we make plans. what will we do tomorrow? when do you think we’ll wake up? what time is it–do you think our seder was longer or shorter than anyone else’s? it’s the moment that i remember that my father is one of a few hundred heads of my family who have worn a kittel and stood at the front of our table and said we were slaves and now we are free with a voice that is terribly scratchy and getting older and fainter every year.  one day i will stand at the head of that table with my partner, and it will be me making that proclamation of faith. i will be the next in the line of jews who celebrate, commemorate, and then continue

the seder gives us the gift of reflection. it’s a memorial. it’s a lesson. but sometimes i think it’s more than that–it’s the promise that even in the darkest of times, even in the bleakest of moments, there is always an after. there is a the bed that awaits us after the seder, after we put away our plates and glasses and trudge into bedrooms cool, dark, and welcoming. after the matzah crumbs have been swept off the table, after our stomachs are heavy and our hearts are light with wine and wonder. there is a later. there are eight days of dusty crumbling meals, eight days of regret, eight days of difficulty. eight days where we are reminded of the lowest points in our history–of those people who are still at their lowest points. the mandate of social justice, the call to action, the requirement to see suffering and to address it.

but then there is the ninth day. there is the tenth day. there is the week after, the month after. there is the opportunity to begin again, to look at the body of law handed to us in the vast, empty expanse of desert, and say i will, i can, i must. it is the promise of an unbroken chain, of thousands of years of judaism stretching in every temporal direction. it is the memory that wherever you go, the roots of your story will follow you. you are not alone, and you will never be alone.

this promise of tomorrow is especially meaningful to me. i’ve been thinking a lot about freedom blessed by the constraint of law and by the necessity of compromise. i’ve been thinking a lot about the future. both of these things sound difficult and terrifying sometimes–unbearably overwhelming, unacceptably heavy burdens. but lately i’ve also been thinking about the opportunity of the seder to impose order on all of this chaos–on the chance i will have to set aside a short period of time to reflect, to mourn, to dedicate myself to grounding my story in memory. and then i will be given the imperative of thinking about the future, about tomorrow, and about the promise given to the am, to my people. 

my grandfather once told me that jewish history is the promise of thousands of stars that was given to avraham. everything else is a consequence. he never told me that being jewish meant that you will never, ever be alone. you will never be just history. you will always have tomorrow.

now i think he never said this because he knew he didn’t need to. because he knew, one day, i’d figure it out.


Oops, I Pulled the Trigger

[Imagine Bruce keeping secrets from you; Warnings: Mild Angst]

Bruce wasn’t acting himself. He was always a little off, always kept to himself and hid himself in the shadows. This was different. He wasn’t just a little bit off; he was completely off. He couldn’t even look at you. You would say something, he’d give a one word reply and make some excuse to leave. You were confused, hurt, lost. One moment the two of you were talking about Clark and Louis’ weddi- that’s it! You must’ve freaked him out from all the marriage talk.

You sat up and slid the blanket off to the side. You placed the book you were trying to read on top of the bundle and stretched your arms. You stood from your spot with a smile. You should’ve realize it sooner. Bruce wasn’t good at relationships, especially when they weren’t just flings. Marriage was an iffy between the two of you. You wanted it, but he was…you weren’t even sure what he thought about marriage.

You bounced down the steps, listening to the rumble of the bats and the sound of Bruce working. You were surprised he wasn’t out and about. Maybe Gotham was giving the good ol’ bat a night off. You silently thanked the city for that. He pushed himself just for this city. He really needed the rest.

He had his back towards you, his fingers typing away on the Bat-computer. You stopped. He didn’t seem to notice you too engrossed with what was displayed—you were too—to hear you come down. The screens displayed news articles all with similar headlines:




The Phantom. That was your name. You were lost, unsure of what those meant. More so why they were dated 2032 when it was only 2025. Future. Superman. You. Death. Death.

“Bruce?” You called out softly. Your intentions to seem calm ruined by the tone of your voice.

He stopped, startled. He didn’t bother hiding his research. You’ve already seen it all. The damage was already done. He should’ve been more careful.

He didn’t answer you. He pushed away from the desk, straightening out his shoulders, and turned around. His cowl was hanging off behind him. There was nothing he could hide behind now. He wouldn’t admit it, but he feared the thoughts that raced through your mind. Unconsciously, he placed a hand on his belt.

“We need to talk.” He spoke gruffly. His face showing little to no emotion as he made direct eye-contact. He nearly flinched from the look in your vibrant E/C eyes. He swallowed and took a slow step forward. “You need to calm down.”

“Calm down?” You nearly yelled the words. “What aren’t you telling me, Bruce? What is that? And why does it say I killed Clark?!”

That’s not the only thing you did, he took another step forward. You took a step back. “Y/N, listen to me.” His grip on his belt tightened. He didn’t want to use what he had against you. He would never do that, but if you were to do something, he would have to. He’s prepared himself for this. He’s had plans to take down every member of the league. You…You were different. You meant more to him than anyone would care to admit.

“What did I do—what am I going to do?!” You were starting to tear up. You took a step away from him, your eyes never leaving his, “What aren’t you telling me?”

He couldn’t reply. The look on your face left him speechless. You were terrified of the one thing you haven’t been scared of in a long time; yourself.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone, Bruce. I don’t…I don’t…”

Bruce unclenched his hand from his belt. should’ve told you. He knew that he should’ve, but he was Batman and Batman acted not talked. He thought he could figure all this out on his own. Find out what triggered what you were going to do. If he talked to you, if he told you what future Barry told him, then maybe that was what prevented it. Stop it before you even though about it. It was too late now. You knew what you were going to do and you would wait for that day in fear.

He was the trigger.

DATE: AUG. 19 2016
NOTES: Instead of sleeping, I played Arkham Asylum (I am now 51% through), decided to maybe actually watch and finish Daredevil, and write this :|

Bruce’s face being cut off like that is killing me oh gosh

There may be a part two to this, but eh. I’m not even sure what this was. 

if Aphrodite gives a shit (and We created you in pairs)

Rated: T

Chapter: 1/5

Relationships: friendship Otabek/Yuri, Seung Gil/Phichit, implied Leo/Guang Hong, Yuuri/Victor


When Yuri met Otabek, his timer had been showing him zeroes since he was ten. His Soulmate didn’t come and find him. Cursed, people call him. Fuck off, Yuri tells them.

Otabek still has years before he’s due to meet his Soulmate.

aka the soulmate timer au with a twist

read on ao3


Yuuri and Victor is a tale of misunderstandings made worse by bad communication and scandalous shenanigans. 

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anonymous asked:

Is it normal to feel romantic feelings for more than one gender but only sexually attracted to men? Will I with time just be attracted to woman more sexually ? I'm sexually attracted to some like female celebrities but that's it. I also have never really had a crush on a girl like I do with guys so urghhh I wish future me who has hopefully figured it out texted me and told me

It’s normal to have a preference for one gender over another. And it’s also normal for some people that they romantic and sexual attraction doesn’t allign. You may call yourself biromantic and hetero/homosexual (depending on your gender) but you can also still go with “bi(sexual)”. Whichever label(s) you prefer are fine.

It’s also possible that you will develop sexual attraction for women and that your lack of experience and a lack of accurate f/f relationships and affection in media means you don’t know ~how to be sexually attracted to women yet.

But don’t rush yourself into any uncomfortable situations. Take your time getting comfortable with yourself and your sexuality. Maybe you’ll start finding women sexually attractive, maybe not - either way is fine.


anonymous asked:

Hi! I'm sorry to be a bother but I just need someone's unbiased opinion... I'm about to go into my second year of college and I still have no idea wtf I'm going to do 😅 I've switched majors 3 times bc nothing feels right. I love doing makeup, and I've had the opportunity to do some for weddings and proms. I know it's not a real "stable" job, especially where I'm from. I would eventually love to move but that's never a guarantee. I just don't know what to do Zara 😩

My mum and dad always told me one thing: Don’t think about the future jobs, think about what makes you happy and I feel like this applies here too. You don’t have to have everything figured out, you don’t need to feel like you have it all under control. And when choosing a major, don’t think about whether you’ll be able to score jobs easier or not, because you’ll end up being so unhappy with yourself. So do what makes you happy, choose whatever you feel like choosing. If you like makeup, then go and do it. It’s not as complicated as you may think it is, we humans tend to twist everything around and confuse ourselves. Just do you, do what makes you happy. I wish you all the best, love x

“What was between Lando and me was… absolutely nothing.”

His eyes flicked suspiciously to hers. “What do you mean?”

“I mean just what I said: absolutely nothing,” she repeated. “Karrde had an important mission for me to carry out, and because Lando had supplied the starting point he invited himself along. The - well, personal aspects to the whole thing were nothing but window dressing to keep people from figuring out what we were up to.”

She could feel Luke probing at the edges of her mind. “You could have told me,” he said, not quite accusingly.

“You could have asked me,” she countered. “You never seemed all that interested.”

He grimaced, and she could feel a fresh wave of embarrassment wash over him. “I didn’t, did I?”


from Vision of the Future by Timothy Zahn

Controversial moments of the Legends EU time. The apparent Lando and Mara match up had been incredibly unpopular with fans - partly because a lot of people wanted her to get together with Luke, but also because Lando’s ‘courtship’ of Mara was appallingly presented, with him essentially pestering her until she gave in, which is not an appealing romance and was a disservice to Lando’s character. So it probably seemed like simply retconning it all was the simplest solution.

However, as there are no other instances of Mara having a romantic involvement, the way it comes across is that Mara somehow wasn’t ‘allowed’ to have had a relationship before Luke. Given they’re in their late thirties at this point, it’s kinda weird, and even in the late nineties when it was written, it came across as rather socially retrograde, especially given that Luke had had several clearly sexual relationships with other women by this point. The idea that Mara needed to be some kind of virgin bride for him was rather icky.

(Of course, the gaps in Legends continuity leave us free to head canon that Mara had plenty of fun with other guys in the years before - the legendary 1990s fanfic Stuff presents a particularly good vision of this!)

The way that Luke and Mara act around the issues of their previous relationships - the jealously and recrimination in their conversations - always make me think that had been some kind of unspoken expectation between them that something would happen between them after the Thrawn Trilogy that neither of them ever acted on. If they had just been neutral to each other all these years, their feeling about all this make no sense. 

I also have my own head canon theory that Karrde actually deliberately sabotaged their developing relationship at the time because he didn’t want to lose his second in command. This matches his self-interested nature at that point, and Lando would have provided him the perfect opportunity. But I think that by Jade Solitaire he is regretting this as he sees how much it has hurt the woman who has become his friend, not just his employee.

Flights #28

Peyton’s POV

I sat out on the balcony, the California scenery stretched out before me, as I checked my school email. Information seemed to be continuously sent about the upcoming trip to Africa. There were vaccinations along with other materials we needed to get prior to the trip. I scrolled through the emails aimlessly as I sat on the outdoor couch, still in my pajamas, with my feet up on the coffee table. Jack was still asleep upstairs. Sam, Nate, and Johnson had gotten home late from Cameron’s and were still sound asleep as well. Just then, Cali strolled out to the balcony through the open apartment door.

“Hi girl,” I cooed while giving her a pet.

As I sat petting Cali, I thought how the view in front of me wouldn’t be my view for the next six months. It still didn’t seem real that I would be living in Africa. I had always dreamed of helping kids who medically needed my help in another country but I never dreamed that I would actually have the opportunity one day. If my life was still the life I imagined it would be – attending the University of Arizona and going back to Chicago for breaks – I would have no problem leaving. But my life wasn’t what I imagined it being. I never imagined I would meet Jack and fall in love with him. I never imagined I would move to LA to live with him. I never would have imagined I would agree to a marriage proposal at nineteen. My head was spinning with all these thoughts about where my life was going and what I should choose. Being away from Jack for six months seemed awful. We had done the whole distance thing before and I hated it. Yet this time it wasn’t Chicago to Omaha or Tucson to LA, it was Africa to America. However, I couldn’t seem to say no to such an incredible offer. Especially since Jack had been so supportive of the idea, even coming up with our three week bucket list. A bucket list that I knew who had a surprise event, an event I knew would be us getting married before I went; that thought made my stomach nervous and I wasn’t sure why. All I knew was that he had faith we would make it and I did too, I just wasn’t ready to do distance again. I just wanted to be with Jack. I was sick of all the flights. My thoughts were interrupted when Sam wandered out on the balcony. He rubbed his eyes as the bright sunlight greeted him. He had major bed head as he plopped down next to me.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you up for several more hours,” I said.

He yawned.

“Believe me, I’m just as surprised as you are.”

I chuckled.

“What are you doing out here?” Sam asked.

“Jacks still asleep,” I told him.

“I figured but when Jack sleeps in you’re usually out on a run with Cali, I never see you just sitting here. Is everything alright?”

I sighed.

“Yeah, just thinking about the future.”

“Well that’s a daunting thing,” he chuckled. “Let me guess, is it the fact you leave the country for six months in three weeks?”

“Yeah that might have something to do with it,” I laughed.

“You guys will make it, you and Jack, you guys won’t let this change things,” Sam said as if reading my mind.

“Yeah so we make it work, but that’s still six months apart, six months on different continents,” I said, turning to face Sam.

“But it’s you and Jack, I’ve never met anyone more in love. I’m serious.”

I exhaled and furrowed my eyebrows, struggling to decide if I should say what was on my mind. I was moments away from calling Grace or my mom when Sam had walked outside.

“What is it?” Sam asked me, watching me think.

“It’s just that I know we’ll make it work. We’ll FaceTime and call each other. We’ll both write letters or something, hell Jack would probably come visit me but Sam…” I trailed off as I thought. “I’m only nineteen, I want a chance to see the world, to change the world, and only have myself. I don’t want to just become somebody’s girlfriend or wife. I don’t want to be remembered as Jack Gilinsky’s girl, I want to make my own name. My whole life I’ve always lived under a man’s shadow, my dad and now Jack. Don’t get me wrong, they’re the two most important men in my life but I want my own legacy, my own history. I want to write my own story…” I trailed off.

Sam was quiet for a moment before he spoke.

“So do it, go change the world, go discover yourself in Africa, but why does that mean ending things with Jack?”

I struggled with what to say next because I didn’t even have my own answer. Why did that mean ending things with Jack? Why couldn’t I go to Africa and discover myself while still being with him?

“I- I don’t know,” I admitted to Sam.

“Just because you’re married to someone doesn’t mean you have to lose who you are. So marry Jack and then go have the time of your life in Africa, I know you guys will make it. A love like yours doesn’t just die.”

“Thanks, Sammy.”

Sam smiled at me.

“Go wake up your lazy ass boyfriend, make the most of the time,” he told me.

I laughed and got up from the couch.

“Enjoy your hangover,” I joked before walking inside.

I went inside and set my laptop in the living room, Cali followed closely at my feet.

“Go wake up, Jay!” I told her.

Cali’s tail began to wag quickly as she ran upstairs.

“Go wake up, Jay!” I told her again, giggling at her excitement.

She made it to the top of the stairs and bounded into our bedroom. I ran in after her, jumping onto the bed.

“Wake up, babe, wake up!” I yelled as I jumped on top of him.

Jack groaned as he rolled over.

“Leave me alone.”

“Nope! It’s time to get up, let’s go!”

All of sudden, Jack rolled over quickly so that he was on top of me and had me pinned beneath him. He then began tickling me all over. I burst out laughing, trying to push his hands off of me.

“Jack!” I gasped between giggles and screeches. “Jack! Stop!”

We rolled around on the bed for a while, Jack tickling me and pecking me with kisses. Finally, he got out of bed and got dressed.

“Alright, what are we doing today?” I asked while I watched him get ready.

I sat cross-legged on the bed, holding our notepad in my hands.

“Whatever you want, babe.”

“You know I hate choosing!” I complained.

Jack just chuckled and continued getting ready.

“Okay, fine, I choose surfing. It’s a beautiful day,” I said a few moments of thought.

“Sounds perfect, let’s go,” Jack said.

Jack’s POV

About thirty minutes later, we arrived in Malibu. We had strapped out surfboards on the top of my Jeep and had packed our picnic in the backseat. Peyton’s hair was windblown and laid on her tan shoulders as we pulled into the parking lot. I watched her hop out of the front seat, her jean shorts still showing her behind and her short tank top hardly covering any skin.

“Come on!” she called to me.

I hopped out of the Jeep to help her get all our things. We unpacked the whole car and began trudging to the beach.

“How about this spot?” I asked, ready to put our stuff down.

“This looks perfect,” Peyton agreed.

I set our things and then pulled her in by her waist.

“And it has just enough privacy so that I can show you how much I love you,” I whispered against her neck.

She giggled and pushed me away.

“Let’s go surf,” she said while taking her clothes off.

I quickly followed suit but it was hard to keep my eyes off her perfect body. She then picked up her surfboard and began running toward the ocean; I grabbed mine and ran behind her. She screeched as her legs crashed into the waves, the cold Pacific Ocean shocking her. The midday sun was shining bright over head and the beach was crowded but I was only focused on her.


The hours past as Peyton and I surfed and played in the waves, it was an ideal summer day.

“I’m turning into a prune,” Peyton stated.

I chuckled.

“Alright let’s go to the sand, we can eat some of our gourmet picnic,” I joked.

Peyton rolled her eyes.

“Whatever you say, Chef Gilinsky,”

“Oh come on, you know I’m a great cook!” I defended myself.

“Mhm, sure,”

“Oh that’s it, you’re getting it!”

I chased after Peyton as she began running away. I caught up to her and picked her up, throwing her over my right shoulder. She screeched and squirmed as I took us back to our blanket.

“I hate you,” Peyton pouted as I put her down.

“I bet you do,” I said sarcastically.

She gave me a smirk while she began unpacking our lunch. I watched as she did it. I noticed that I had been watching her a lot more recently. It was as though I was trying to memorize her, as if everything was about to change. I pushed the thoughts out of my head and focused back on our lunch.

“You okay?” Peyton asked me.

I nodded.

“Just thinking about how much I love you,” I told her.

She blushed.

“I love you more,”

“Whatever stops the tears, Pey,” I joked.

She laughed and handed me my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She then repositioned herself so that she was lying back against me while staring out at the crashing waves.

Peyton’s POV

As I stared out at the ocean, my mind drifted back to Sammy and my conversation earlier that morning. Sam had said, “a love like yours doesn’t just die.” I kept repeating that to myself. A love like ours doesn’t die, a love like ours doesn’t die. I didn’t know if I kept saying it because I believed it or because I needed to believe it. Either way, I prayed Sam was right. A love like ours couldn’t just die.

vanessnettness  asked:

Splitting this into two asks. for like almost three months now I've had trouble swallowing, masses in my throat, throat tightness, blurred vision... it's all neurological. for some reason my brain has lost control of the muscles in my throat. having an mri and mra scan of my brain and neck next week to determine what's going on. scared doesn't even begin to cover it right now... there's a history of brain cancer on my biological dads side of family...

I’m just anxious and kinda sad, and very frustrated and trying hard to stay positive and not stress about it all… been pretty much distracting myself all day with tv, and reading imagines, so of course I’m having massive harry feels… could really use some comfy Harry fluff if you wanted to write some

I’m so sorry about everything that’s going on with you, I hope you’re better and I wish the best for you. Sorry it took me a while to do this and it’s kinda short, if you don’t mind. Once again, I hope you get better, and I’m sure in the future everything will be just fine xx

It wasn’t two days after I told Harry I was pregnant that he finally figured out something was not right.

Harry and I were 2 years happily married, and although we talked about making a family, I still wasn’t quite sure about how I was feeling knowing that inside my body there was a growing person.

I was happy, don’t get me wrong. Since the moment I met my husband I knew how an incredible father he would be, and I was never wrong. I knew he would be the best father any kid could ask for, even with a busy schedule.

But me? I wasn’t so sure. Having a baby was never my teenage dream, it wasn’t the first thing on my when-I-grow-up list. Yes, I wanted a husband even thinking I would never actually find one, but the thought of a child didn’t really come across my mind untill a couple of weeks ago, after me finding out I was pregnant.

“Baby? You okay?” He asked with concern. Since I told him the big news, Harry would always check up on me, asking if everything was alright and if there was anything I needed.

“No, I’m fine.”

“I know you long enough. Tell me what’s wrong, I wanna make it better”, he said, playing with my hair as we sat on the couch.

“Harry, I’m so scared.”

“It’s normal, you just…”

“No. I don’t think I’ll be a good mother. Not as much as you will be as a father. I’m not joking or saying it because it’s the heat of the moment. If I’m gonna be honest, I never saw myself as a good mother but I was willing to be one because of you I… I don’t know.”

He stared at my eyes, and I was afraid he could hear my thoughts. The television was now turned off and I could hear my heart beating in my ears. I was scared and the look he was giving me wasn’t making anything better. Instead, Harry was only making me nervous.

“Baby, why wouldn’t you be a good mom?”

“Harry, you know me. I don’t know how good I am with kids,  I feel like there’s so much wrong with me. Sometimes I can’t even take care of myself.”  I said, embarassed of myself. Guilty. “What if I can’t take care of own baby? What if I’m not good with babies? I don’t think anyone deserves a bad mother, speacially not my own daughter. I don’t want to mess this up, Harry…”

“Daughter?” He asked with forrowed browns and a little smile.


“You said ‘specially not my own daughter’. Do you know it’s going to be a girl?”

“I… Hm, no, actually I don’t. But I kind of… Feel it.”

“Really?” His body came closer to mine, both of his legs crossed to find a way to touch our knees, and suddenly the subject was gone. He was so into this and I was so proud to say I’m seeing his excitment for the first time, with his first baby. “How do you feel it?”

“I don’t know, it’s weird, but do you know when you’re home and like, you feel you’re at home? You can feel it even if your eyes are closed, you know the familiar first step throught the door, you know? You just feel it. But I don’t know, I’m not sure, it’s just a deduction.”

He didn’t answer. Harry just stared at me in awe, and I was afraid I’d confused him, stumbling throught the words. The same smile was still playing on his lips, and God, I loved that smile.

“Why are you looking at me like this?”

“You don’t see it, do you? Did you hear what you said? You just felt this maternal instict. You’re rubbing your stomach and I bet you don’t even notice.”

As always, Harry was right. I had no idea I was caressing my belly until he said and I saw my own hand making movements.

“You’re gonna be a good mom”, he continued “and if you’re not that great, then I’m going to help you. I’ll tell you when not to do something, but I know you’ll be great. We still have seven months left, and we’re gonna spend it together, learning as much as we can. Before you know, our baby will be here and you’ll be taking great care of her or him. Besides, we do need a soft heart and a harder one. We balance each other.” He paused and smiled “I wouldn’t be able to do a single thing without you. I’m so in love that all I can think about is the fact that we’re having a family. Me and you.”

And it was gone. My worries, my fears. I didn’t have any certainties in my life that moment, but if I had one, then it’d be the fact the Harry was going to be here from the start until the end. I knew he was going to make me stand up whenever I fall, because since the day we met he has.

My eyes were filled with tears as I wondered how did I get so lucky.

“You’re so beautiful. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re a person, a person I care and need to be with to even manage to breathe.”

“Hormones suck” I said before letting out a sob. “I love you so, so much, Harold.”

“I love you too, baby. I’ll get you some chocolate, how about that?”

“Have I said I love you?”

He laughed, and pulled me closer into his chest, kissing my forehead.

“Yes, you have.”

It was moments like this I knew everything would be okay.