- Harry, to Scorpius: If you ever are mean to Albus then I'll seduce your dad and convince him to marry me and then I'll be your stepmom and I'll disable the Wi-Fi at 7pm every night don't fucking try me
- Scorpius: If you disable the Wi-Fi then how are you going to use it?
- Harry: I don't need Wi-Fi when I'm riding your dad's dick.
- Scorpius: [screams]
Does Draco know that you were a hair's breadth away from being sorted into Slytherin but you refused to be? How do you feel about that, Draco? Have you imagined the possibilities if Harry had been a Slytherin?