Shit I've learned in the City:
1. Lie to people.
IE, the very sweet old man on the bus who kept insisting I ‘come over and cuddle’ with him. (I said maybe some other time.)
2. Accept a compliment and move on.
IE, the very kind man who said I looked cute, like little red riding hood with my basket. (It was full of animal bones. I said thank you)
3. Don’t talk about your hobbies.
(Accidentally mentioned that my rubber gloves weren’t meant for dishes.)
4. Not everyone is excited about the same local events.
(The dead crow outside my local chirch was in excellent condition)
5. Sometimes you need to be an asshole. (A man at the bus stop asked to marry me. I have him a peach instead. He told me he was gonna follow me home so I told him if he tried I’d throw him under the bus and wave as his corpse rolled by)
6. Keep in contact with family.
(I forgot to call my parents for like 4 months and when I came back to visit they were divorced, my mom had moved out, I had two new siblings and my brother was fluent in French)
7. You have limited space. Use it wisely.
(I have 5 hubcaps in my sink, all from different manufacturers)
8. Sometimes cats are raccoons