you must be a dalek

Swerve X Reader – A Human Crewmate - Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - SOS

A/N – Okay, so I just wanted to write this for me and I had to really choose hard between Rung and Swerve because Rung’s actually my fave. This is heavily based on a lot of @rocksinmuffin headcanons and I got permission before starting so thanks to them for that.

Warnings – None.

Rating – T

A button to push. There had to be a God-damn button to push that would save you from impending doom. You weren’t an astronaut, you shouldn’t have even been sent to space; it was all one big accident at NASA and now it was going to kill you. When you volunteered to be a test dummy for teleportation from one room to another under the simulation of space control, you were eager; it was a job that could have set you up from months with a comfy little nest egg and all you had to do was sit in a pod. In your wildest dreams, you’d never imagined the possibility that the teleporter could go so wrong that you’d be hurled into actual space. Now, as you panicked and screamed for help, you were all too aware that your oxygen was running out in the tiny pod.

Grabbing the radio again, you used what little air was left to send out an SOS, “Is anybody there, please, my name is (F/N) (L/N), I’m stranded in space with little oxygen, send help, please. I don’t…” You started crying, “I don’t want to die here.”

Shortly after the message was sent out, the light-headedness kicked in, you weren’t going to survive, perhaps you should just come to terms with it, then you smiled. Through the dark haze, a large white shadow passed over-head; angels did exist after all.

“For the last time Rodimus, I can’t do anything for her if you keep hovering over me like that,” an agitated voice said from somewhere above you.

“Sorry Ratchet,” the apparent voice of Rodimus said.

You groaned, feeling disoriented and somewhat dizzy.

“Thank Primus, he’s waking up.”

She, Rodimus, she,” Ratchet corrected.

“Right, holoforms everybody, we don’t want to scare her.”

You shielded your eyes upon opening them, everything was so bright, so… white. A shadow loomed over you, allowing you to open your eyes further. It was a man with thick brown hair and black flame tattoos on his arms, hovering over you, with a frown; you had a feeling that the frown didn’t suit him, almost like he was too used to smiling.

“Hey there, I’m Rodimus, you’re aboard the Lost Light, my ship, are you okay?” He spoke slowly and deliberately, enunciating every syllable.

“Uh,” You mumbled sickly, “Ship?”

Like a flash of lightning you remembered the experiment, up to the point of sending out an SOS and then passing out. “What? How did you save me? Are we near Earth?” The questions rushed out, making you all the more nauseous in the process.

“Uh, about that… Magnus, you want to get this one?”

You were surprised when a woman stepped forward, she was wearing a tank top, skirt and a serious expression, “This is going to be a lot to take in so pay attention. You are aboard an alien ship, these are not our true bodies, we’ve simply adopted this form to make you more comfortable. We heard your SOS and rescued you, though we’re nowhere near Earth; how you even got this far out in that primitive pod is beyond me. Do you understand?”

Despite the headache you burst out laughing at the outlandish explanation, this had to be an elaborate prank or you were a part of some other mind experiment that NASA couldn’t tell you about; maybe it was how humans would act in the event of first contact with aliens. “Right,” You giggled, “Because you must be Vulcans, no wait, Daleks right, how about Spaceman Spiff from the planet Zog? No? Stop me if I get it, I can go all day.”

Magnus frowned, looking towards Rodimus, who was smiling now; of all the humans to get, he was glad it was one with an attitude. With a small nod from Rodimus, the two shed their holoforms, revealing giant robotic creatures, who could crush you with little effort if they so deigned.

Strangled sounds escaped you, while your mind tried desperately to rationalise the situation.

“We’re Cybertronians from the planet Cybertron,” Rodimus explained, “and it’s our quest aboard the Lost Light to find the Knights of Cybertron.”

“Aliens,” You mumbled, before passing out for the second time that day.

Once again, you awoke with a groan, the unsettling feeling of dehydration setting in. Evidently, you’d been moved into a different room, this one was darker and smaller, not human-sized per-se but definitely smaller. Moving your head to your left, you saw a man with red hair and glasses in a swirly vest, sat on a chair reading a book. He shut it upon seeing you move, waiting momentarily to make introductions.

“Cybertronian?” You asked.

“Ah, yes, I’m Rung, the ships psychiatrist,” he answered calmly.

“Oh God, this is real, I’m on a ship of aliens… no, I’m the alien, God this is so weird.”

“Now, now, uh is it deep breaths for humans?”

You nodded tiredly, pinching the bridge of your nose and attempting to sit up on the edge of the table you’d been resting on. You felt worse for it but it had to be done. “Uh, I don’t mean to be rude but do you guys have any water?”

Rung nodded, pulling up a small bottle, “Magnus warned me you’d be needing that.”

Greedily, you gulped the water down, feeling instant relief. You turned your attention back to Rung, “Thanks… You know, you don’t have to stay, uh, human, if it makes you uncomfortable; I wouldn’t want to do that to you.”

Rung smiled gently, “You needn’t worry, for now it’ll be easier to talk like this.”

“Right… Cybertronians though… this is a lot to take in. What happens now?”

“That all depends on you, is there anything you’d like to know?”

“How big is this ship?”

“15 miles long and 10 miles wide.”

“Whoa… How do I get home?”

Rung’s smile faded, he pulled his glasses off, “I’m afraid that isn’t possible, even if we could get back to your home planet, you’d have… your race doesn’t live very long and…”

“I can’t go back,” You echoed hollowly. Very suddenly, it didn’t feel as if there was enough air, you started breathing fast, struggling to speak between gasps, “My family- My friends- Job- Future- I-Can’t-Breathe.”

Rung visibly panicked, he didn’t know what to do with a suffering human, were you dying? He didn’t know. He shed his disguise, going for help while you had a panic attack in the darkened room. Your entire life’s course had changed, nothing was certain anymore and to top it all off, you were on a ship full of alien robots.

Eventually, with much yelling between Rodimus and Ratchet, a lot of mediating from Rung, and several telling offs from Ultra Magnus, you managed to calm down on your own; the four bots hanging over you nervously, afraid to do or say anything that may further upset you. Afterwards, you’d been left in the room with Rung for more questions and answers, the others meanwhile, were trying to decide what to tell the crew, or to tell them at all; it was all very confusing.

“Sorry for the freak out earlier,” You said to Rung.

“Quite alright,” he soothed, there wasn’t much left to say now and the mech was ready to leave upon seeing your need to recharge or sleep as you corrected him.

“Thanks, Rung.”

“Actually it’s-” he paused, colour rising to his cheeks and cooling fans blasting on, for you’d gotten his name right; it was such a small thing but one that meant so much to him.

“Are you okay?”

“Why yes, it’s just um, I hope you sleep well (Y/N), welcome to the Lost Light.”

Asylum Of The Daleks - Doctor Who blog (Steven Moffat Fucks Up The Daleks)

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. If you haven’t seen this episode yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Series 7. Where Steven Moffat seemingly dispensed with the whole idea of a series arc and announced that each episode will be its own standalone mini-blockbuster. So lets start with Asylum Of The Dalek. Was it any good? Well funnily enough… No it wasn’t. Not even half good. It was fucking awful. Anyone with a brain could see how bloody terrible this was, or at least that’s what I assumed in my naivety. 

Yes, critical and fan reception at the time was overwhelmingly positive for Asylum Of The Daleks. Some even going so far as to call it one of the best Dalek stories ever written. But for the life of me I can’t see how they could possibly think that. Not only is Asylum of The Daleks another example of just how bad a writer Steven Moffat is and always has been, it’s quite possibly one of the worst stories Doctor Who has ever produced. And I’m not just saying that for effect. This story fails at a most basic level and quite frankly I’m astounded that anyone could possibly look at this and go ‘yeah, this is good. One of Moffat’s best in fact. Eggs anyone?’ Obviously this was back in 2012 where people were still willingly drinking Moffat’s Kool-Aid and deluding themselves into thinking he was actually clever (as opposed to, you know, a pretentious moron).

There’s so much wrong with this episode, it’s hard to know where to start. Well from the beginning I suppose. Yes, let’s start there.

The episode starts on Skaro… and immediately I’ve got questions. Didn’t they say Skaro was destroyed in the Time War? How did the Daleks resurrect it? How come the Doctor isn’t surprised that Skaro still exists? And why in God’s name would the Daleks build a giant statue of themselves?

The Doctor, Amy and Rory get captured by humans who have been Dalek-ified (I imagine Moffat thinks this is incredibly scary, but in reality it’s just really silly with the eye-stalks poking out of their foreheads and everything) and are taken to the… smirk… Parliament of the Daleks and speak to the… the… LOL! PRIME MINISTER of the Daleks!

OMG! Forgive me. I’ve always had some difficulty taking the Daleks seriously as villains, but this just takes the cake. PRIME MINISTER of the Daleks?! What, do the Daleks trundle along into voting booths and polling stations every five years? Are there Tory Daleks and Lib Dem Daleks? Are there some Daleks campaigning for cuts to immigration and others campaigning for bigger plungers? Do the Daleks have their own versions of satirical panel shows like Mock The Week and Have I Got News For You? Do the Daleks have a Monster Raving Looney Party? Please tell me the Daleks have a Monster Raving Looney Party!

And speaking of monster raving loonies, it turns out the Daleks have an asylum full of insane Daleks. Oh boy, what’s the best way to unpack this nonsense? Well let’s start with the obvious. Why would the Daleks have an insane asylum? Why not just kill the insane Daleks? That’s usually their MO, isn’t it? Anything less than pure gets exterminated, right? Well according to the Prime Minister of the Daleks (snigger), it is offensive to them to extinguish such divine hatred. Oh! Really?! Perhaps you should tell that to the Daleks who have killed members of their own species in the past for being fractionally impure. I don’t think they got the memo darling. 

And it just gets stupider and stupider the more it goes along. They want to cleanse the Asylum because a spaceship crash-landed on it and now they’re worried the insane Daleks are going to escape. Well why didn’t you just kill them in the first sodding place? And didn’t you just say a few seconds ago it was offensive to extinguish such divine hatred? Make your minds up guys! But then it turns out they can’t actually destroy the Asylum because it’s covered by an impenetrable forcefield. But hold on, it can’t be that impenetrable. A pissing spaceship just crash-landed on it. So they send the Doctor (yes the Daleks have asked their greatest enemy for help. No I don’t get it either. Just go along with it) inside the Asylum to turn the forcefield off. That’s the impenetrable forcefield that can only be turned off from the inside of the fully automated Asylum that doesn’t require a Dalek to operate it. In other words, the insane Daleks have complete unrestricted access to their own forcefield and teleporter that no one from the outside can possibly get into (unless they’re in a crashing spaceship for some reason). That’s basically like giving the prisoners the keys to their own cells.

Moffat fans, are you sure this is one of the best Dalek stories ever. Because from what I can see, this episode is a complete and utter shambles, and we’re only 5 or 10 minutes in.

Let’s quickly talk about the insane Daleks. You know, the ones the Daleks are afraid of? Must be some dangerous, homicidal nutters in that Asylum, mustn’t there? So what do they do that makes them so frightening? Well they’re incredibly slow, have really bad aim and screech the word ‘Eggs’ a lot.

Originally posted by elittlejoia

Um… how is that scary? Why would the Daleks be frightened of them?… WATCH OUT! THAT DALEK IS COMPLETELY INEFFECTUAL! ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Now here’s something that will get hardcore Whovians excited. Apparently there are some classic series Daleks that will be playing a big part in this episode. Awesome! Let’s see if we can find them, shall we?

Right then, well… there was that Jon Pertwee era Dalek spinning around in the background in that one scene, and um…. oh I did see that Special Weapons Dalek briefly for a couple of seconds… um… No. Actually that’s about it. So when Moffat said that classic series Daleks would be playing a part in the episode, he just meant one or two of them would make cameo appearances. Well that’s underwhelming at best and blatant false advertising at worst. What’s even weirder is that at one point the Doctor meets Dalek survivors from previous encounters he had with them like on Spirodon and Kembel and so on, but the Daleks we see are post 2005 Daleks rather than classic series Daleks from their respective eras. Whoops.

But that’s not the only thing Moffat fucks up. There’s also Amy and Rory’s marriage. Remember when we last saw them in The Doctor, The Widow, And The Wardrobe? They were sitting down for Christmas dinner, looking very happy. Now all of a sudden, they’re getting a divorce.

Originally posted by vismaviedevie

Now I’m sure this bizarre tonal shift wasn’t quite as noticeable at the time because there were months between the Christmas special and this episode, but if you’ve been watching each episode one after the other like I’ve been doing, it’s incredibly jarring. What the fuck happened? It just feels so utterly random.

So why did Amy and Rory split up? Because Amy is sterile now apparently. Yes, she’s utterly barren now and so she pushed Rory away for his own good. Okay. There’s a LOT wrong with this. The casual sexism for one thing, with Moffat once again implying that the only strength or worth a woman has is in her uterus. Rory’s total lack of agency is another issue. Amy just kicks Rory out of the house without telling him what the problem is or giving him a chance to decide for himself. Oh and I could do without the spousal abuse being disguised as girl power thing. Amy slapping Rory isn’t cute and sexy. It’s assault and battery. In fact it actually gets more uncomfortable than that as you realise that not only does Moffat seem to be medically incapable of writing a healthy relationship, he honestly believes this is a healthy relationship. Let me put it this way. I can understand Amy and Rory wanting to take some time apart to reevaluate things, but do you know how long it usually takes to finalise a divorce here in the UK? Four months. Are you seriously telling me that Amy and Rory never talked about this FOR FOUR MONTHS?! Do they even want to be together?! And just when you think this couldn’t get any more insulting, it turns out all their marital troubles are solved in the end thanks to a two minute conversation. So it was all basically just a gigantic waste of time. This is a real emotional tragedy a lot of couples go through and Moffat has just pulled it out of his arse in order to add to some artificial tension to his shit story. And people wonder why I hate him so much.

Dear God, this is fucking terrible. Can this episode possibly get any worse?

Well, well, well. My arch-nemesis. At last we finally meet.

Oswin is without a doubt the worst character Moffat has ever written. In fact she’s not even a character. That would be too generous. She’s a Mary Sue with no interesting personality traits and whose dialogue can easily be interchanged with River’s or Amy’s or every other female character Moffat has ever written. She’s a ‘strong female character’ in inverted commas only. There’s no effort to actually develop her character or to make her come across as a relatable or believable human being. She’s just yet another Moffat siren. Plus she just irradiates smug. I can’t tell if it’s the writing or Jenna Coleman’s performance, but she just gets under my skin. There’s just something about her I find profoundly irritating. Maybe it’s the fact that all her dialogue consists of nothing but unfunny wisecracks, patronising nicknames  and sexual innuendos. Maybe it’s the fact that despite being in mortal peril, she never reacts in a believable way, instead acting like a total smartarse. Maybe it’s the fact that her deus ex machina powers effectively reduce the Doctor to a secondary character in his own show. Do you know that feeling you get when someone scrapes their nails across a chalkboard? Well Oswin is the physical manifestation of that. She’s just incredibly obnoxious. So you can imagine my joy when she got killed off at the end. That was a happy relief. I mean can you imagine what it would have been like if they made her a companion? Now that would have been unbearable. Good thing that’s never going to happen, right?… Ri… Right?

So at the end it’s revealed that Oswin has been a Dalek all along, which would have been a tragic twist if I actually gave a shit about her and if it weren’t so utterly stupid. What’s the point of that nano-cloud? Why would the Daleks need a nano-cloud to convert humans? How are humans supposed to get into the Asylum if it’s covered by an IMPENETRABLE forcefield? How come the Daleks are converting humans in the first place? That’s the Cybermen’s schtick. Again, has Steven Moffat ever actually watched Doctor Who before? And oi, since when have the Daleks been telepathic? That’s the first I’ve heard about it. You’re just making this shit up as you go along, aren’t you Moffat?

And then comes the awful resolution. The cherry on top of the dung heap. Oswin somehow manages to hack into all of the Daleks and make them forget about the Doctor. Putting aside some of the more obvious problems like Moffat stripping everything interesting out of the Doctor and the Daleks’ antagonistic relationship for his stupid twist ending and how the fuck was Oswin, a lone Dalek in a mental asylum, able to make every single Dalek in the universe forget about him, what’s truly horrific about this is the return of the dreaded ‘Doctor who?’ It was bad enough when a chorus of Daleks was squawking it ad nauseam, but when the Doctor started chanting it too in the final scene, it became too much to bear. PLEASE GOD, SOMEONE, MAKE IT STOP!

Asylum Of The Daleks is an absolute train wreck from start to finish. It’s absolutely littered with plot holes and continuity errors, the characterisation is beyond atrocious, the villains are stupid and ineffectual, and the so called emotional core of the story is pointless, misogynistic and nonsensical. And apparently it’s one of the best Dalek stories ever written? I don’t know which version of the story you lot have been watching, but I would love to see it. I’m afraid the version I’ve just watched was complete and utter shite.

A Place For Us To Dream || Journey’s End

Title: A Place For Us To Dream (65/65)
Rating: T
Summary: —Doomsday AU— What would have happened if the Doctor’s lever had been the one to slip? If the Doctor had been the one trapped in the parallel universe? Rose has to pick up the pieces and carry on in his place. After all, someone has to be the Doctor.
Characters: Tenth Doctor, Rose Tyler, Jackie Tyler, Pete Tyler, Mickey Smith, Martha Jones, Donna Noble
Notes: This story was inspired by a number of things — namely badwolfrun trying to keep me entertained at work by sending me this ask, which became this graphic and this graphic made by MK, and subsequent discussions with MK and perfectlyrose. Enjoy!


Note: Well here it is. The end of this epic adventure. Well, the end of part one anyways :D I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who supported me – whether it be with fanart or reviews or whatever. You are all amazing and I love you to death. Special special thanks to badwolfrun​, whose dedication to this story is almost frightening (in a good way!).

I’ll start posting the sequel next Friday (August 21). The title is A Journey Through Time.

And could you do me a favor? If you’ve been a silent reader all this time speak up and let me know? I’d really like to hear from the people who don’t usually speak up. Even if it’s just an anon message. That’s what anon is for, you know.

Now. Here we go!

The TARDIS doors creaked open, and there was Donna. She ran out, and Davros fired.


The beam of energy stopped halfway to Donna, however. The Doctor looked back to see Rose holding a glowing hand out to it.

Move, Donna.

I am! Donna insisted, only to be stopped as she was surrounded by Daleks. Rose—!

Everyone watched, stunned, as the Daleks surrounding Donna disintegrated into golden dust.

“Rose, stop,” the Doctor insisted, his mind flashing back to Platform Five. She was going to die if she kept doing this.

“Relax, my Doctor.” Her voice reverberated just slightly. “Everything will be fine.”

Keep reading

Dalek Divisio: {{resisting the urge to write an AU where Karkat finds a diary containing Dave’s consciousness}}

Toro: {{oh no}}

Toro: {{OMG}}

Toro: {{BUT}}


Dalek Divisio: {{OH MY GOD}}

Toro: {{like sexting but with a DIARY}}

Keep reading

The Empirical Endeavor

TITLE: The Empirical Endeavor 


AUTHOR: Quixotic-Dreamland

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine that one day, the TARDIS lands on Asgard when there’s a royal ball being held in the palace. You both attend, and you and Loki fall in love with one another at first sight, despite the Doctor’s clear disapproval-which becomes clearer as time goes on.

RATING: Teen +

 None (so far)

“Evangeline!” a faint whisper penetrates my foggy mind, all of the whimsy fantasies of my subconscious evaporating in my brain,dreams hiding in the cracks of my mind, waiting to greet me again for the next time I drift off into slumber.

“Hmm?” I reply, gently rubbing my eyes.

“Time to wake up dear, all of time and space awaits us!”

I blink my eyes open as they come into focus, a tall man in suspenders and a bow tie is seen fiddling around with buttons and controls diligently at the center of the TARDIS.

“Morning doctor!” I greet with a yawn. “If that is indeed the time right now …”

Keep reading

  • NINE: You're just a soldier without commands.
  • DALEK: Then I shall follow the Primary Order, the Dalek instinct to destroy, to conquer.
  • NINE: What for? What's the point? Don't you see it's all gone? Everything you were, everything you stood for.
  • DALEK: Then what should I do?
  • NINE: All right, then. If you want orders, follow this one. Kill yourself.
  • DALEK: The Daleks must survive!
  • NINE: The Daleks have failed! Why don't you finish the job and make the Daleks extinct. Rid the Universe of your filth. Why don't you just die?
  • DALEK: You would make a good Dalek.

hello and welcome to the Eleventh Era promo group! this is an amazing new promo group to celebrate and cry over the eleventh doctor and matt smith and his reign as the doctor. in this promo group you can make lots of new friends and rant about doctor who and other fandoms and express your love for matt smith and eleven!


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Actual DW spoilers this time. Sorry, River Song.

So are we going to talk about how all this time, it was assumed that the dalek inside the suit was pure evil, but it was actually the suit? The dalek inside has free will. It has the ability to exercise a full range of emotions. It has a name and feelings and ideas. The dalek inside the suit is just another life form, like any of us, but everything it does is automatically filtered. The suit is programmed to turn every emotion into hatred, and to eliminate all traces of originality. It’s not armor, it’s a prison. It’s a punishment. Every emotion they feel and every individual thought they have is censored and weaponized; if they care just a tiny bit for any other living thing, they automatically destroy it. And yet… The being inside can’t live without the support systems of the suit. It’s literally trapped inside its own worst enemy. The daleks must hate the shit out of themselves. Having to learn to lock away every positive feeling so you don’t get yourself blown up by your friends…
The daleks must be so scared of themselves, all the time.