you might think i have money but i don't

confession starters
  • "I miss you."
  • "I hate your family."
  • "I ran over your cat."
  • "I have a drug problem."
  • "I slept with your best friend."
  • "When I said I loved you, I didn't mean it."
  • "I've had feelings for you since I met you."
  • "I wish I never met you."
  • "I don't feel the same way anymore."
  • "I hooked up with your [relative]."
  • "I think I might love you."
  • "I'm a murderer."
  • "I wasn't really visiting my cousin last weekend."
  • "I'm not actually single."
  • "I don't think we belong together."
  • "I stole money from you."
  • "That's not my real name."
  • "I sell drugs."
  • "I was your secret admirer that wrote those letters."
  • "I should have never married you."
  • "I inherited some money. Turns out, I'm a millionaire."
  • "You weren't my first."
  • "I read your diary."
  • "I kept everything you have ever given me."
  • onision (2012): uhh excuse me? thank my fans? i don’t think so swetty :) i got where i am today because of ME :) because i worked hard, not because of my fans :) don't agree? then stop watching me and see what happens :)
Les Amis as John Mulaney Quotes
  • Enjolras: One black coffee, same motherfucker
  • Courfeyrac: "She's just going through that phase where she says penis and vagina a lot" ...aren't we all
  • Combeferre: The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time
  • Feuilly: I like having a puppy that’s a bulldog, ‘cause it’s like having a baby that is also a grandma. Her body is young, her face is as old as time.
  • Bahorel: He grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground, and yelled "SCATTER!"
  • Grantaire: Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
  • Joly: One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet, and when one feels like a duck, one is happy
  • Bossuet: If you're ever on the highway behind me, I hear you honking, and I also don't want me to be doing what I'm doing
  • Jehan: This is an on fire garbage can... could be a nursery
  • Marius: I don't know. I know you told me, but I have had a very long day. I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under
  • Cosette: I think Emily Dickinson's a lesbian
  • Eponine: I'll keep all my emotions right here *gestures to self* and then one day I'll die
  • Musichetta: You know those days where you're like "this might as well happen. Adult life is already so goddamn weird"
  • -Bonus-
  • Gavroche: I like to lean in and go "stop snitchin' motherfucker" and walk off. 'Cause you're never too young to learn our national no snitching policy
  • Montparnasse: Anyone who has seen my dick and met my parents needs to die

gellyfishsubgujation  asked:

I don't know whats compelling me to ask this, but if all the characters you voice acted got into a huge fight, who do you think would win?

Well… Rufio is a kid, he died at the hands of Hook. Zuko is a powerful firebender… But Jake is a dragon. I might have to put my money on him.

sweebs  asked:

I saw that gif of cats floating in 0 g, and I was wondering, would it be ethical to bring a pet along on a spaceship if they couldn't walk normally? Would it be possible if the animal was raised in 0 g or would it be too difficult to train it and to give it enough exercise (like how astronauts have a workout schedule so their muscles don't atrophy, could you make workout machines for a pet?) I know it would probably cost a bunch of money, but... theoretically

Questions like this make me so glad that this is something I get paid to do. 

I think that taking an earth-raised cat into 0g would be pretty stressful for it, since everything it has known about gravity and locomotion it’s entire life would no longer apply. Even if it wasn’t hurting itself, and even if it might eventually adjust, that’s a pretty huge change to the fundamentals of existing. In theory, I think an animal raised from birth in 0g would probably be fine (in terms of stress) because it would adapt as a baby and not know anything else. 

There’s obviously a whole bunch of issues with this - you couldn’t raise a kitten in 0g without a parent, who would be stressed, and you’d still have to figure out a way to make sure they gained appropriate bone density - but in theory, it shouldn’t be to stressful. I don’t know how you’d deal with bone density issues, since it’s mostly gained early in life and I’m not sure if we’ve even solved that issues with having humans potentially give birth in space, but you could probably train a cat to use an exercise machine without too much fuss, especially if you did it from birth and it was just part of the daily routine. 

An interesting note, there, though, is that we do that sort of training for astronauts because they have to go back to earth. If we’re trying to think of the most humane way to have an animal in space as a pet, you’d probably want one that would be born in space and stay in space, because traveling is a whole ton of stress. So that raises the question of what type of muscle conditioning or bone density would be appropriate / needed for an animal that isn’t ever going to live on a planet? I feel like they’d still have certain physical needs for survival, but they might not be the same as for one that’s intended to return to terra firma - that’s probably an entire new branch of science! 


“You might want money. Maybe you want women. Or, you might want to protect the world. These are all common things people want. Things that their hearts desire. Greed may not be good, but it’s not so bad, either. You humans think greed is just for money and power! But everyone wants something they don’t have.”

anonymous asked:

my high school history teacher did the whole thing where "say one person in this classroom has 100$, and everyone else has 1$. socialism(or was it communism? I don't remember) wants to take the money from the rich person, and redistribute it to everyone in this class. Sure, this might benefit the people, but won't you think of the poor rich person who had to give their hard-earned money away??? :(" god i was so tempted to say "who gives a shit"

“Sure, equally distributing wealth might mean that people who might otherwise die from starvation or poverty have SOME chance of living their life with dignity….but what about the poor rich person who would feel SAD about having to give away all their money???” is basically what your teacher’s said, lmao.

- Mod A

Shit I've Heard In Class (Part Six):
  • "They're not looking for me because I don't look like a felon—but I am."
  • "I reserve the right to change that by tomorrow."
  • "What did him and the girl do?"
  • "He said 'I'm gonna make a million dollars,' and he did."
  • "I'm essentially a ghost nihilist."
  • "Nothing changes unless you change it."
  • "They have too much time on their hands."
  • "I think they think we're stupid—and the worst part? We are."
  • "I can't wait until you and yours are dead."
  • "Yes, I am not lying."
  • "I put a meme on the Facebook the other day."
  • "It's just whatever."
  • "People who need money work."
  • "Don't be doing that stuff, it's bad."
  • "You're Satanic."
  • "Your face is naked."
  • "Only because I said so."
  • "Damn you're hot—I'm not gonna hit on you, but you're still hot."
  • "I'm gonna be your dad now: don't be doing that stuff."
  • "I might just be describing myself."
  • "I'm not allowed to play this at home."
  • "Uh-oh, you had six gay thoughts, now you're gay."
  • "I didn't move on to bigger fruits."
  • "But what does she listen to at night? K-pop?"
  • "Committing a felony does not make one Satan."
  • "I am not encouraging this kind of behavior before finals."
  • "You appear to be insensitive."
  • "Stop talking like that, you're making me feel bad."
  • "Oh my god just fail the quiz already."
  • "I'm just gay."
  • "He actually does think you're a bad person if you like pepperoni."

anonymous asked:

Hello! I'm thinking of buying either the yoi fanbook or guidebook (because i don't have enough money to buy both of them lol) but I can't decide which on to buy. Can you tell me the difference between the two? thank you XDD

Hello! Just recently both publishers posted pictures of the index… which is currently the only thing we have to judge, lol. The guidebook has definitely more content regarding figure skating, while the fanbook might have more illustrations (though most are probably reprints from previous magazines) so it really depends on what you want to see.. Since these books are not magazines I think they will be available for purchase for a while, so you might also wait until next week to see people’s reviews.

In the meantime, these are the indexes:

[Guidebook YURI!!! on Life]

-Skaters File (complete analysis of the 14 skaters): Yuuri, Victor, Yuri, JJ, Otabek, Chris, Phichit, Georgi, Guang-Hong, Leo, Michele, Emil, Seung-gil, Minami, Yuuri’s acquaintances, Yurio’s acquaintances, coaches of the world

-Memory of the Special Season (memories of the season seen through reports of the tournaments): last season in general / Onsen on ICE / start of the season (spring-summer) / Chu-shikoku-kyushu tournament / GP Cup of China / GP Rostelecom Cup / GP in general / GPF

-Yuri on Ice seen by real skaters:
Takeshi Honda, Takahiko Kozuka, Evgenia Medvedeva, Stéphane Lambiel & Deniss Vasiljevs, Ryuju Hino, Akiko Suzuki, Satsuki Muramoto, Kazuki Tomono, Koshiro Shimada
-Column: basic skating terms / visit to the Ice Castle Hasetsu rink

-Making of “Yuri on Ice”:
Interview: Sayo Yamamoto, Mitsurou Kubo, cast piroshiki roundtable (Toyonaga x Suwabe x Uchiyama), skaters’ cast comment
Feature: Making of the skating scenes
Staff Interview: Eiji Abiko + Junpei Tatenaka (skating animation), Kenji Miyamoto (choreography), Honoka Kawanishi (motion skater), Hanae Yokoya (supervision), Keisuke Tominaga + Taku Matsushiba + Tarou Umebayashi (music), Dean Fujioka (opening theme), Yuuko Sagiri (costume), Youji Shimizu (audiography), Toshiharu Mizutani (art), Tadashi Hiramatsu (character design)

-Special dialogue:
Sayo Yamamoto x Mitsurou Kubo 15000 characters crosstalk

[GO YURI GO!! Fanbook]

-Illustration gallery

Yuuri, Victor, Yuri, Phichit, Chris, JJ, Otabek, Seung-gil, Michele, Emil, Georgi, Guang-Hong, Leo, Minami, others


Yuuri & Yuri (Toyonaga & Uchiyama), Victor (Suwabe), Phichit (Kenshou Ono), Chris (Yasumoto), JJ (Miyano), cast comment, recording report, director Sayo Yamamoto, original plan Sayo Yamamoto & Mitsurou Kubo, character designer Tadashi Hiramatsu, sound director Youji Shimizu, color designer Izumi Hirose, music producer Keisuke Tominaga, figure skating choreography Kenji Miyamoto

-Art settings world tour

-Prop settings

-Location trip

anonymous asked:

Aaa if you'd draw the Male!MC(specifically a male version of the first MC I think?), perhaps you could draw a poly relationship between Zen/M!MC/Saeran? Or Saeyoung/M!MC/Saeran(no incest)? I don't mind which you draw really - whatever floats your boat haha. Thank you!~ ^^

ah… what a tall order _(:3」∠)_

anonymous asked:

An interesting response to 686 indeed. If I didn't know any better I might have been brainwashed by you haha Anyways, I appreciate the walk through but you didn't really answer the question as to why Kubo would settle for less. No matter how little money you earn from the bleach ending, it's kind of wishful thinking and funny to say the author would destroy his entire manga knowing he would bring in less cash and then draw an IR cover to bring in more cash. I smell a contradiction don't you?

You understand that Kubo doesn’t run the show, right?

Shueisha does.

The publisher always has the upper hand, unless you’re say, Stephen King, or J.K. Rowling, or Eiichiro Oda, or Rumiko Takahashi. Unless you are literally one of the richest and most powerful authors on the planet, they own you and your work. You are under contract to them. And those contracts are usually rather specific about what you owe them, and what will happen to you if you don’t hold up your end of that minimum.

You think Kubo kept putting IR on the last pieces of merch, like the stickers and the cover? No. Shueisha did. Because Shueisha knows that IR sells. Shueisha is interested in making money, because Shueisha is a corporation and that’s what corporations do.

Kubo clearly doesn’t care about money. Bleach used to be level with One Piece and Naruto. One Piece is still going, and Naruto got a sequel that will go on to rake in the big bucks even if it’s Kodachi writing it instead of Kishimoto. These are what are known as franchises, and the collection of spin-offs associated with them are called intellectual properties.

Corporations fucking love intellectual properties because they’re so much bigger and more profitable than small, discrete media entries. You can think of your average book, movie, whatever, as being like a fanfic one-shot. It’s standalone. What they’ve figured out is you don’t need one-shots, or even series; you can have whole constellations of interrelated, mutually-supporting, mutually-selling works.

The biggest examples today are the Marvel Cinematic Universe and DC Cinematic Universe. Universal was/is trying to create something similar with The Mummy. Then there are titanic flagship franchises like Harry Potter, getting there own spin-offs like Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

And anime is no exception. Lots of famous anime are getting big-budget Hollywood-scale movie adaptations. There’s always been the books, the games, etc. But they’re taking the same trajectory of forming intellectual money media empires, because that is where the money is: a multimedia assault across all platforms and the whole spectrum of entertainment, from toys to coloring books to mobile phone games.

You know what Bleach doesn’t have? Any of that. It has a cheap-ass, terrible-looking movie where Zangetsu looks lamer than half the cosplay impressions of it. It’s got no follow-up manga. Its books did dismally. No anime continuation. Nobody wants anything to do with it anymore. KLab is avoiding dealing with the last arc any way it can in BBS.

You think Shueisha wanted that outcome? No! Shueisha wants money. Shueisha would love for Bleach to be successful.

So who is it in this picture who isn’t cooperating and doesn’t give a shit about money?

That’s right, our favorite narcissist, Tite Kubo.

He blew his own franchise up because he’d rather flip everyone the bird for not admiring his “vision” than roll around on a pile of cash. Dude cosplays as Mayuri and says he feels a connection with him, is that really so hard to believe? Well, it doesn’t matter if you believe it or not, because the proof is plain for all to see. Tite Kubo killed Bleach.

He supposedly never took advice from his editors and guess what? It turns out the market didn’t want what he thought was genius. His sales declined, but he kept on anyway, giving us stories about Kenpachi and Mayuri and Bazz B. and Haschwalth that nobody ever asked for, sure of his genius. And when Shueisha’s patience finally ran out and they pulled the plug (because sunk cost fallacy), he decided to tell all of us—you, me, the whole fandom, Shueisha, et al.—to go fuck ourselves.

Because he is one prideful sonofabitch. As Marsellus Wallace said, and as Shueisha would’ve said:

The night of the fight, you may feel a slight sting. That’s pride fucking with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts. It never helps. You fight through that shit.

See, you’re reading it all wrong. Kubo never cared about money. If he had, he would’ve kept his manga focused on IR from the end of SS on. It’s not a coincidence that that’s when his numbers started to slip, because that’s what made Bleach unique. It wasn’t a shounen with an amazing world and backstory. It was a shounen with character and strong core characters. But he was a true believer. He truly believed he was the next Tolkien or something, that he was hot shit.

Well, he wasn’t, and so right before the invisible hand of the free market smashed him, he decided to hurt all of us too. And that’s what 685/686 is. That enormous rebuilt Soukyoku? That is literally Tite Kubo’s middle finger flipping you, me, and everybody else off.

You don’t have to believe me, but you wouldn’t still be talking to me if you didn’t sense the truth behind it.

  • Ross: Don't tell me, you've remembered you were a spineless wonder after all?
  • Robert: This is coming from a blackmailer?
  • Ross: Better that than someone who can't keep it in their kecks. Or pick a side, if we're gonna get nit-picky.
  • Robert: You know, bitterness will only eat you up, Ross. One day you might find a girl who likes you best.
  • Ross: Hang on, you think I'm jealous?
  • Robert: Well, clearly you don't want me moving on with my life, otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation, would we? Only you might as well pull the trigger on me again, cos I can't pay my way out of this one.
  • Ross: I don't know what you're on about. I do know that you and lover boy honeymooned in Mauritius though. Stinks of someone with cash to me.
  • Robert: Yeah, maybe if the rest of my money wasn't tied up! It's invested.
  • Ross: I'm getting tired of this. Maybe I should just call Aaron right now...
  • Robert: All right, just... slow down. How about we work together, me and you? Find a way of making some decent money.
  • Ross: Are you actually serious?
  • Robert: It's controversial, admittedly, using your brain, you being more smash and grab...
  • Ross: You know for someone who's up against it, you got a smart mouth.
  • Robert: You're thinking about it though?
  • Ross: I'm thinking you're desperate. But what I wanna know is, how desperate exactly?
  • Robert: What?
  • ross: How much grovelling are you prepared to do to call me off?
  • Robert: You're joking? (Ross shakes his head) Fine. I'm asking you to give me a break. Please leave Aaron out of this. Okay, Okay, I'm begging you.
  • Ross: (laughs) Nah, that won't be happening. But thanks for embarrassing yourself though. It's made my day a teeny, weeny, little bit better. Ah, easy, Romeo. Ten grand by tonight or I over-share with Aaron. Simple.

the-outsiders-slut  asked:

I don't know if you've done or not. But what jobs do you think the gangs (including shepherds and Socs) parents had or have

two-bit’s mother— we already know, in the book.

curtis parents— I’m not really sure, I don’t remember if they say it, either. I like to imagine their mom being a stay-at-home mother or doing small under the table jobs to make money and their dad doing some kind of manual labor work, some kind of workman.

steve’s dad— I think his dad might have had a small farm a long time ago in a remote area, not like tulsa, obviously. I think he does maybe factory work and unofficial mechanical jobs now, though.

randy’s family— I think his mom is a nurse and director of an assisted living. If not, a medical biller. His dad’s a lawyer. He works at a local firm but worked for a while as a public defender.

cherry’s family— her dad does business, always wearing a suit and tie, has an assistant and secretary, etc. I don’t think her mother works anymore but she used to work with fashion and decorating. Bakeries, boutiques, home decor stores, interior design, you know.

bob’s family— his mom doesn’t work. His father is the head of a large realty company. Realty works on commission and being the most popular group in the area, he brings in tons of money. In addition, his family has money on both sides. Sheldon is a well known last name in tulsa.

the shepard’s— their mom doesn’t do anything (apart from maybe selling yikes). Their stepfather works at a store. I’m thinking maybe a postal company, but I don’t know.

johnny’s parents— don’t work. His mom might have held a typical minimum wage job (grocery store, pizza place, pet store, etc). They’re unemployed.

dally’s parents— I forget, isn’t his mom dead? His father’s a bartender at a small, rowdy tavern in a nearby city, though.

marcia’s parents— her mother is a baker. She’s always got some apron on. She’s the co-owner of a pricey, dainty bakery downtown. Her dad works at a technology company, selling radios and all kinds of new speakers and such.

did I forget anyone ?

princess-unipeg  asked:

You know what I don't get? Did the girls not know there was merchandise of them? If the professor has a job then how come we don't ever see him at it? Did he quit since receiving royalty checks? I mean with the equipment he has he might have been getting his funding from "unconventional resources" am I right?

Nah, I’m sure they knew about their merch, but if you went into a creepy manchild’s room and found THOUSANDS of products bearing your likeness that he collected, I think you’d be a liiiiiiiiittle creeped out too.

anonymous asked:

Uhm so you said that you use your money wisely. Any tips to like save money or something? Bc im bad at that and I really want to like help out my parents.

i always think about whether or not i’m really going to use it.
for example, i might want this pretty blue pen, but tbh, i’m not going to use it as much as i would compared to a black pen + i already have a blue pen at home so why would i buy more ? 

don’t buy things immediately. set it down or close out of the browser and genuinely think about it for a while. if you can’t stop thinking about it and you still really want it, then buy it. if you forget about it or realize that you don’t need / want it, then you probably didn’t need to buy it.

also, if you’re bad at the impulse control thing (i totally get it lmao i impulse-bought a bunch of dlcs once oops): give your money to your parents or stick it in a savings account where you can’t really get at it.

We Don’t Believe What’s On TV - Twenty One Pilots
How Tyler plays each chord:
    Gbm |   E   |   A  |  Bm  |  A7  |  B7  |  Db  | E7  | Dbm |   D  |
Intro/Verses Riff:
E---------------2          Gbm       E       A      
           Gbm          E   A
We don't believe what's on TV
              Gbm    E       A
Because it's what we want to see
            Gbm          E           A
And what we want we know we can't believe
            Gbm        E        A
We all have learned to kill our dreams
I need to know 
     Gbm                        A         A7
That when I fail you'd still be here.... mmmm
      Bm                        B7 
Cause if you stick around, I'll sing you pretty sounds 
                        Db          E               Em7
And we'll make money selling your hair
Dbm                  D 
I don't care what's in your hair
         A                       E
I just wanna know what's on your mind
  Dbm                  D
I used to say I wanna die before I'm old
    A                            E
But because of you I might think twice
-Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!-
Interlude -x2-: Gbm E A A
           Gbm        E   A
What if my dream does not happen?
             Gbm              E       A
Would I just change what I've told my friends?
              Gbm      E       A
Don't want to know who I would be
            Gbm       E         A
When I wake up from a dreamer's sleep
I need to know 
     Gbm                        A        A7
That when I fail you'd still be here... mmmm
      Bm                        B7 
Cause if you stick around, I'll sing you pretty sounds 
                        Db          E               Em7
And we'll make money selling your hair
Dbm                 D 
I don't care what's in your hair
         A                       E
I just wanna know what's on your mind
  Dbm                  D
I used to say I wanna die before I'm old
    A                            E
But because of you I might think twice
Dbm                  D 
I don't care what's in your hair
         A                       E
I just wanna know what's on your mind
  Dbm                  D
I used to say I wanna die before I'm old
    A                            E
But because of you I might think twice
-Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!-
Outro -x2-: Gbm E A A

Some chords may not have the right names, please tell me if they’re wrong (the chords at the top are correct I may not have named them correctly though) :)

more ukulele chords here<3

anonymous asked:

I want to start conning soon, but I don't have an internet fanbase for my art. Do you think you should have some sort of fan base before you do conventions? I don't want to lose money.

An online following isn’t an absolute necessity for doing well at conventions, honestly. There are many artists I know who have a relatively minimal online presence (some, none at all!) and do really well at cons. It all comes down to your work, your display, your presence at the table.

The Internet is huge and unless you have an very large fanbase, I think it’s fairly rare for someone to know of you prior to stopping at your table at any given convention. You might have fans all over the world, but how many of them will make it out for that one show? For me, at least, I know of a lot more people who met me at cons first and followed me online later than the opposite.

An online presence and fanbase can’t hurt though. It can help you gauge the relative popularity of your work and provide valuable insight on what parts of your work resonate best with others, etc.

As for losing money, never forget that conventions are an investment. Most people lose money their first convention, if not the first several, but the costs of many supplies are a one-time deal. After you buy your initial table display, you’ve got it for a while. After you buy your first round of inventory, you’ve got it a while. If you want to start doing conventions, you should probably want to be in it for the long haul, even if you’re only doing one or two shows a year.

If you’re looking for a quick buck, there are far, far easier ways to do it. 


Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 is the most spectacular thing I have ever seen.

It’s weird, I understand, and it’s not in any way a conventional Broadway show. But I promise you with all that I’ve got that you will have a freaking good time if you spend the money to go see this show. Yes, even if Pierre isn’t Josh Groban. No matter what, no matter who is or isn’t in it, I sincerely believe that Great Comet is a show that everyone should see. You’ll crack up, you’ll cry, you’ll eat pierogies, an attractive man may flirt with you, you might have a seizure, you’ll think “what the actual heck is going on”, “is this really set in 19th century russia because everyone’s wearing glow sticks” and tons of other things. Just if you can, please please please go see Great Comet. You won’t regret it. And you don’t want to regret not seeing it.

Bast Tarot Diary #10
  • Me: Hey, sorry we haven't had a chat in almost a month but I...
  • Me: Uh, not really, I felt like shit so...
  • Three of Swords: It's your own damn fault, you keep working that job despite the emotional and verbal abuse. Let go of it already!
  • Seven of Wands: All those sterile and unnecessary conflicts are draining your energy AND YOU KNOW IT.
  • Eight of Swords: The solution is right under your nose, quit already!
  • Me: Yeah but... I'm scared of being poor again.
  • King of Coins: Child. You're selling your father's house, you're soon going to get plenty of money. Stop being so worried about material matters and take care of your happiness and soul already!
  • Me: But is it safe to do it? What if I fail?
  • Four of Coins: You're too cautious. Life is full of risks, learn to let go and take a chance.
  • Me: I'm so exhausted, I don't know what to do.
  • Ten of Swords: Child, you're miserable already.
  • Nine of Cups: You have everything to gain and nothing to lose, at least in the emotional front.
  • Ace of Swords: Just promise me you'll think about it?
  • Me: I'll try. But I can't promise anything.
  • Eight of Cups: You might pass some great opportunities if you keep at it.
  • Death: All things must die. Welcome changes instead of running from them.
  • Me: Okay. Sorry. I will, don't be mad, please.
  • Five of Coins: You're miserable and lonely, but that won't last.
  • Justice: Justice is coming.
  • Ace of Coins: Having just enough money to survive is enough.
  • Me: Thanks for telling it to me straight, Bast.
  • (two cards fall on my lap)
  • Two of Swords: You'll have to make a decision at some point, kitten.
  • Four of Swords: Now go the fuck to sleep, it's 01:40 am.
The Signs as Things my Science Teacher Said
  • Aries: Don't fight me, I'm like a ski hill. If you fight the hill you get hurt. If you dont fight the hill you still may hurt but it doesn't matter.
  • Taurus: O.J. Simpson changed my life.
  • Gemini: I don't think you'll just bump into someone on the street and say "HEY! Let's have sex!" Well... Maybe... I don't know how you live...
  • Cancer: I spent a lot of money on my son's new swag.
  • Leo: What if you put your baby brother or sister in the bathtub and tossed a hair drier in. That might be kinda interesting.
  • Virgo: *sticks bare fingers inside of dead cat* That's nice.
  • Libra: I have an electrocution fetish.
  • Scorpio: I love a little porn in the morning.
  • Sagittarius: Damn I only punched you twice, but others will hit you more.
  • Capricorn: Make some friends for once.
  • Aquarius: Excuse me Dr. Ahern? I'm not doing my job? No, I am, my students are just all lazy idiots.
  • Pisces: Fortunately my boyfriend I mean my husband I mean my son