you might be an english major when

highlights of today's vlive
  • we’re getting a new bts episode
  • “i’m grape” – knj, about his hair
  • “i don’t care english squad” - jjk 2k17
  • kth’s english (“i’m an english major) + 26x “i don’t care”
  • “FIIIIIIIIRE” – ksj, after Yoongi mentioned “bultaoreune”
  • jjk’s YOOOOOO
  • knj singing blood, sweat and tears
  • jimin was like “oh noo this is from when i was heavier” and tae said “i’ll take that one” and honestly it was so pure ??
  • “i might suck at rock paper scissors, but we have jungkook” – pjm
  • “i’ve got the golden touch” - jjk
  • “you tasteless fools” – ksj (my new best insult)
  • they played twister wtf
  • jin hit yoongi when he tried to stop that arrow thing with his hand
  • yoongi’s booty
  • jjk’s ass was on jin’s head
  • 2seok dancing after they beat yoongi on rock paper scissors
  • bonus: jin wrote that punishment
  • 2seok winked @ us
  • who are they
The Ouija board spelled out gibberish

The following statement might be shocking. Please sit down before you read the next sentence.

Not everyone in the world speaks English.

In fact, English isn’t even the most commonly spoken language in the world. It’s Mandarin Chinese, actually.

Okay I know that isn’t shocking to most of my followers, who live in non-English speaking countries and write to me in fantastic English. Shout out to my Central American, South American, and European followers (and if there’s anyone following me from another part of the world, let me know!).

But a majority of my followers are English speaking, and sometimes seem shocked when they ask me why the Ouija board isn’t spelling things properly and I say that the spirit may not know English. It’s totally possible to contact a wayward spirit who may only know Mandarin Chinese, and when you ask them to spell their name, they have no idea. Or, for another scenario, they may speak English but have no idea how to write it. Back in the day, most people had no idea how to read or write, and if you’re talking to a spirit from like, 1492, they may not know how to communicate with you. Or you may be talking to a child who never learned to read or write, or maybe only had a year or two of school and can’t spell things out very well. 

So don’t be surprised if every once in a while you get a spirit who says their name is hgyfvk9xj. It happens frequently. 

So what do you do when this happens?

First of all, ask them if they know English. If they don’t, try to only ask yes or no questions, or questions where the answers are numbers, so they don’t have to spell anything out. If they do know English, ask if they know how to read and write. Help them to spell things. If they’re spelling something and have a hard time, make suggestions about what it could be. Ask if they want a little spelling lesson and tell them how to spell certain words so they’ll know for future reference. Stay positive, and don’t let them feel bad about being a bad speller. If they start getting frustrated that they can’t spell things right, encourage them. Tell them they’re doing their best, to keep trying, and so on. 

Story time: I had a spirit on the board once who only knew how to spell JUG. And yes, they meant jug, like they knew what a jug was, but that was the only English word they knew (probably the only word they could recall from an old spelling test). So my friend and I got out a dictionary and gave them a moment to look through it and find the words they were trying to say. Then they spelled everything perfectly.

The real question is, if you meet a spirit who doesn’t speak your language, how do they know what you’re saying? How can they understand your accent? Are they just guessing, or is their some kind of spiritual Babel fish they use? We can only answer this with my favorite gif: 

If you have any questions, send one my way any time.

anonymous asked:

hello! I'm struggling to pick a foreign language requirement for school and I want to try something different (native English and know some French). Is it dorky to want to take a language because of a show or song?? What would you recommend doing when picking a language to learn at school? Are there things I should be asking myself?

Absolutely not! A show or a song is a great reason to learn a language! In my humble opinion, there are very few bad reasons to learn a language.

You might want to think about what language might be useful depending on your major or a particular area of the world that you might be studying. Other than that, the most important thing is that the language interests you.

I speak Arabic. Not even close to perfectly, but after a 3-year major, I can speak a little more than the next Australian.

Usually, when people find out that I speak Arabic they ask me to say something for them. I do, then they criticise that it didn’t sound ‘throaty’ enough (and often then produce their own ‘throaty’ Arabic sounds).

Well, here is a map of phoneme distribution in Arabic and English, based on the first 100 consonants in each of the two languages in the books that happened to be closest to where I was sitting.

Yes, Arabic is ‘throaty’, but not as ‘throaty’ as you might think.

Confession: Imagine Daryl shyly asking you for book recommendations.
Now that he’s got time, he wants to read all the books he was supposed to in school. Could you imagine how mcute that’d be? I’m a English major so it’s a secret little fantasy of mine that I loan him books and when he’s out on runs he finds other books that he thinks I might like. 

anonymous asked:

I recently received a low B on a paper because of grammar. I had two classmates look at my paper, and neither had issues with the overall flow. Though, my professor said I have a very strong writer's voice. I have another essay due in a week, and I'm terrified of receiving another low grade. I feel like I don't belong as an English major when I'm poor at writing, and I hate the process. I'm a sophomore and I feel like giving up.

So, first things first: Perspective. Yours is out of whack–a B is not a low grade. It’s above average. It also doesn’t sound like you’re a poor writer at at all; your classmates and your professor have both told you otherwise. You’re a good writer who struggles with grammar. That’s a completely different thing. This might sound harsh, but I think you’re possibly overreacting. A lot of young college students do this. They panic when they don’t get As on everything because they’re used to being straight-A students, but you know what? College is a lot harder than high school. Professors expect more and don’t give you as much guidance. There’s a learning curve and everyone struggles a bit. Freaking out and giving up is not the way to handle it. Your problem is completely fixable. Grammar can be learned. Go through your paper and look at what your professor marked as wrong and if you don’t understand why it’s wrong (1) look it up, (2) visit the writing center or (3) ask your professor about it. That’s what they’re there for. 90% of the problems people have in college could be solved by talking to their professors and for some reason people are always reluctant to do it. They’re cool people. They want you to learn and they’ll be more than willing to help you if they know you’re invested in improving. What professors don’t have patience for is students who fall apart over grades that are still good and would rather give up than do the work to improve them. If you genuinely ‘hate the process’ of learning to be a better writer than an English major might not be for you, but I would encourage you to at least give it the old college try (if you’ll pardon the pun) before you throw the towel in.

the-axiom-of-choice  asked:

Hi, David! One of my best friends at UC Berkeley is considering getting a degree in Linguistics. He's taken some classes and he lights up when he talks to me about it. He's a big fan of your work, so I gave him your latest book for Christmas. I was just wondering; for an aspiring linguist like him, do you have any advice/resources/words of encouragement? Thanks!

Duuuuuuuude! If you’re interested in linguistics you shouldn’t need any convincing, so there must be something else at work here. Is he already majoring in something else? If so, he shouldn’t worry. I was majoring in English when I found Linguistics, and I finished both just fine. Is he already double majoring in two something elses? If so, tell him to keep taking ling. classes, but focus on ones that would count towards the major, and see what happens! People can triple major! If not, there’s always a minor.

Now, if there’s a concern about jobs you might get afterwards, here’s the thing. The BA ain’t what it used to be. A BA in Economics is honestly no more impressive to some company than a BA in Linguistics. They’re both the very minimum requirement they’ll expect, and they’ll probably want other stuff, too (e.g. industry experience, specific workplace skills that aren’t taught in any college major, etc.). For a bachelor’s degree, I say do not worry about what it is. You can even go to linguistics graduate school without a BA in Linguistics. Same applies for other degrees. Oh, and not one, but TWO of my best friends at Cal who were also double-majoring in English and Linguistics went to law school right out of college! There were three of us in the entire school, and two-thirds went to law school! That’s nuts!

Anyway, one specific bit of advice I would give since he is at Berkeley is to take advantage of the plethora of language offerings there. Especially if ling. is going to be his only major, there are soooooooooooo many freaking language courses there! Take them all! It will be a huge help! Berkeley’s Japanese program is renown; Berkeley’s Chinese program is renown; I can speak highly of both the Russian and Arabic programs. But there are tons of others: Finnish, Turkish, Bulgarian, Bengali, Tagalog, Hugarian, Khmer… If you can convince Sam Mchombo, he can do a kind of focused self-study on any Sub-Saharan African language (he’s a fluent speaker of Chichewa, among other languages). If you can get in good with Andrew Garrett, he may let you help him out with his extended study of and work with Yawelmani Yokuts. Always lots of cool stuff happening in the department. It pays to get to know a professor or two and see what they’re up to. And despite the fact that it is a fairly large department, it has a small department feel. It’s really a great place to be, whether as an undergrad. or graduate student.

Even if one decides not to continue on within the field of linguistics or go into a language-related field after college, wherever you land, you’ll be the language-expert. You’ll be the one your coworkers and employers go to any time there’s a language-related issue. Seeing as every job relies on language, this means you’ll have a unique skillset others won’t. It’s inherently valuable.

The world needs more linguists, of course, but more than anything else, the world needs more people with a basic understanding of the foundational principles of linguistics. I think the equivalent of ling. 5 at Cal should be required for all majors. Every human institution is founded on language. It’s vital! Those with a natural inclination towards the study of language should follow it wherever it leads them. So to him, go, I say! Fiat lux, and fiat lingua! And GO BEARS! ~:D

Originally posted by toocooltobehipster