you make me feel like a natural disaster

updates
  • we still don’t have water (i live in an apartment building and we have a water tank, but many people don’t have ANY water at home)
  • classes at schools in lima (the capital city) have been suspended again - they resume on wednesday
  • my uni has postponed classes: i was supposed to start tomorrow but they will start on the 27th
  • right now, a jail is on fire
  • many bridges have fallen and cities at the north of the country are now completely inaccesible
  • probably the rains and mudslides won’t stop for at least a month

also: i’m temporarily closing my studyblr. from now on i’m only going to share info about the situation here in peru. i know i don’t have a lot of followers and many of you have been ignoring this (which makes me feel really sad and dissapointed at the studyblr community) but it doesn’t feel right to go on like nothing is happening. if you want to contact me and ask me how can you help, i’ll be happy to tell you all i know.

BANE CHRONICLES SENTENCE STARTERS ( part 1 )

  • “ i’ll have what he’s having. no wait, i’ll have three of what he’s having ”
  • “ I achieved this drink only through some very determined pointing ”
  • “ There was also a woman who referred to me as her sweet peapod of love ”
  • “ You cannot blame me for every little natural disaster that happens! ”
  • “ I am relying on you to be … more reliable and less like you than you usually are  “
  • “ I must speak Prattling Fool, since I can understand you ”
  • “ I will find you. I will find whatever chest of absurd clothes you have. And I will bring a llama into the place where you sleep and make sure that it urinates on everything you possess ”
  • “ I would apologize, Except that I feel no regret at all. ”
  • “ I can’t get enough adventure, And adventure cannot get enough of me.”
  • “ it is wetter than a boar’s armpit and twice as smelly here ”
  • “ Picture this, Me with a little monkey friend. I could teach him tricks. I could dress him in a cunning jacket. He could look just like me! But more monkey-shaped ”
  • “  I begin to rather doubt the beauty of our friendship ”
  • “ I enjoy city life, you know, The glittering lights, the constant companionship, the liquid entertainment. The lack of sudden monkeys. ”
  • “ Pardon me. You were talking about bird droppings. ”
  • “ You think pirates are out to steal your bird droppings? ”
  • “ I spy dread pirates in the distance. Ready yourself for battle, my friend ”
  • “ Well, you should have thrown them out and bought clothes that were both more sweetly scented and more stylish ”
  • “ Don’t fight in front of the client, boys, or I will knock your heads together so hard, your skulls will crack like eggs. ”
  • “ I wouldn’t call that an instrument of music, An instrument of torture, perhaps ”
  • “ That explains the sound you’re making. Like a lost, hungry armadillo ”
  • “ I heard a cat making a most unearthly noise, From the sound of it, the poor creature must be direly sick. You have to help me find it! ” 
  • “  There really should be more roads up there ”
  • “ I can’t live a lie any longer! I have tried to be encouraging. Dignitaries of the town have been sent to me, asking me to plead with you to stop. My own sainted mother begged me, with tears in her eyes— ”
  • “ Furthermore, my hats are extraordinary ”
  • “ In five hundred years I have never desired the touch of another man, but I am suddenly possessed with a desire to kiss that boy on the mouth. ”
  • “ Please, Carry on showering me with compliments. This is an extremely pleasant experience for me, by the way, and precisely how I was hoping my day would go “
  • “ I’m surprised it even lasted this long; he was much better looking than you ”
  • “ I can’t settle down yet. I need more time to devote myself to debauchery. ”
  • “ That sounded like the question of a man who doesn’t need answers. That sounded like the question of a man who needs another drink. ”
  • “  You told us to leave you in the desert, because you planned to start a new life as a cactus ”
  • “ (name) , you were trying to flirt with your own plate ”
  • “ You’re an idiot ”
  • “ Run away with me. Right now. It will be the most amazing adventure, I promise you that ”
Who saw Amanda Yates Garcia on Fox News? I had some thoughts.

I was extremely irritated but not in the least surprised by Tucker Carlson’s condescending ignorance. Replace the word spell with prayer and eye of newt with holy water and you’ll grasp how stupid he sounded. Like, if someone went around asking if praying for a desired outcome was illegal, or if holy water was a real thing, people would be up in arms about it. But it’s funny when people do this crap to a witch, right?

I looked to see if she was on Twitter because I was going to send her a supportive word about maintaining grace under fire. Instead, I saw a zillion people saying the most vile things about the umbrella of all pagans and similar spiritual paths.

Sometimes I just get so tired and I wonder if it’s even worth it to maintain my blog or (someday) publish pagan books. Even people in my everyday life sometimes say things that are just so awful, yet they have no idea how awful it is because they’re laughing like it’s all a game. The older I get, the more I come to understand older generations in my family who drilled it into our heads that we don’t speak out loud about who we are at home.

At the same time, if more people like Amanda Yates Garcia don’t come forward and speak out, we’re always going to live hidden behind a veil of secrecy, stereotypes, and jokes made about us.

It’s just so weird to me that people don’t see the hypocrisy in being vile to pagan practices while turning around and offering up prayers for the latest natural disaster. They can’t look past their own noses long enough to realize that prayer and spells are, in principle, the same thing - putting spiritual intention toward a desired outcome. They laugh at eye of newt stereotypes while feeling better after touching holy water, which is simply tap water consecrated by a guy in robes. The hypocricy … how do they not see it? Every religion or spiritual path looks like make believe if you examine it through an unbiased eye.

I just had some feelings I wanted to write down. I’m sure it won’t make me popular but they’re my feelings.

Originally posted by pewslight

i.
in this movie there are spies. entrusted with international secrets, they steal through frozen forests in some arctic nation a million miles from here. in this town it’s hot enough to melt our sandals to the soles of our feet. our friends all talk about the leading man’s muscles, but you are more interested in the woman spy, running faster and shooting sharper. cold and beautiful in a fur coat. you catch me blushing when you talk about her, crook a teasing finger into my ribs. i dream of snowfall for a week.

ii.
in this movie, nothing much makes sense. it’s an art house film, the kind you love and i just don’t get. i know nothing of the plot or cast, only how the scenes look reflecting off your eyes, only how you bloom under the weight of me watching you. in the dark i can look at you and the way i feel isn’t wrong.

iii.
in this movie there’s a natural disaster, everyone in dire peril, and we kiss like our lives depend on it. the whole world outside is a hurricane, but we are the eye of calm and i can whisper your name like the blessing it is, in the back row of our hometown movie theater, our dilapidated church, the place we always come to be saved. this is where we hide our love–in between the velvet seats, among the detritus of popcorn and junior mints, this thing neither of us yet has the courage to name.

iv.
in this movie a woman is brutalized by a man, and the critics call it revolutionary. but last week at a party a boy hit you when you told him no so i fail to see how this is anything new. in the bathroom you try once again to scrub off the feeling of his palm on your cheek. i want to patch all your wounds with my callused fingers. this movie is a box office hit, and we are drowning in the blood of girls like us.

v.
in this movie there are no men at all. just two girls who kiss and are not ashamed. who hold hands on the street and don’t care who sees. who are never hurt for entertainment, whose love unfolds unapologetically. it only runs for a week. someone complains it’s indecent, and a blockbuster rom com takes its place. but we cannot unsee it. it remains burned into our brains like the sweetest of visions. if we can escape the cul-de-sacs and fenced in soccer fields, somewhere, there might be a place for us. i start saving up for a car.

vi.
in this movie, the quarterback kisses the homecoming queen, a pop punk song plays as the credits roll, and we have to laugh. the people who make these movies don’t know about the girls who watch them and dream of something more. girls who fall in love by the light of that flickering screen. girls who will make their own happy endings. we stop going to the movies soon after that.

–I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND AT THE MOVIES, valerie d. gray (insp. by a prompt “hometown movie theater”)