you make kittens angry


Life’s Not a Song AU

“I won’t go” Sansa was determined to stand her ground now more that ever, she refused to go South again.

Her father sighed while her mother looked at her perplexed and hurt, of course she would, she remembered that innocent obidient girl she sent to her sister to foster at the Vale, but she had long since stopped being her, in fact she barely recalled what it felt like to be that naive girl, that starry-eyed Sansa Stark seemed like a far away dream now.

“You must” said Catelyn gathering strenght, what in heaven had happened to her sweet girl? “King Rhaegar wishes to make your aquintance, we are in no position to refuse”

“Why not?” she was in the border of hysterics, she wasn’t going to leave Winterfell, her own home when she had just returned! “He is the one who has no right to ask anything of us after what he did to Aunt Lyanna!”

Ned looked sadly at his daughter, the pretty and gente girl who dreamed with songs and princes, maybe it would have been better if he and Cat had made her more aware of how the real world was like before sending her out to it. Now it was too late, only the gods know what got on Sansa’s head for her to act like this.

“That is precisely the reason why” said Catelyn “the King wishes to make amends with the North looking for a advatageous match for you in the Capital, you’ll attend the court, and the tourneys, all you’ve ever wanted”

“I don’t want it anymore!” she half- screamed, half-sobbed “Nobody will ever marry me for love! I am not so stupid to believe so, not anymore. Make a match with whatever lord you see fit but don’t send me away.”

Catelyn’s heart broke, what girl of barely five and ten would say such a thing? Why had her beautiful girl given up all her hopes and dreams?

“You will go” Ned had his stern Lord of Winterfell face on. As a father it was hard to see his daughter in such a state, he barely knew what had transpired at the Vale for she refused to speak about it. But as a Lord Paramount of the North he had to obey the King, Sansa’s attitude was all to similar to Lyanna refusing to marry Robert and he despaired to think she would have a similar fate, he would not allow it.

Besides he still hoped a taste of the luxury of the court life and all the things Sansa had loved so well in the past could make her return to her old sweet and gente self, he realised how foolish that hope was, but it was all he could do for her at the moment.

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shiroisdumb  asked:

Headcanon where Batfam meets an alchemist reader?

-You meet through John Constantine

-After Damian’s been turned into a kitten and Zatanna is unavailable

-It takes some convincing

-Mainly because you don’t trust John

-The man has screwed you over before

-And he already owes you about a hundred favors

-But you do it anyway

-The boy makes an angry kitten and you’re forced to hold him by the scruff of his neck to turn him back

-It’s a simple process for you

-And you’re happy to send them on their way

-But you’re not all that surprised when they call on you again

AN: Finishing up requests from Monday’s session. Requests are not open.


Joker x Reader

Hi guys, this is my first fanfic ever so i hope you like it, feel free to tell me what you think

Well hello Batsy,” said the man with green hair, a wicked smile crossing his face as his favorite bat appeared in the abandoned warehouse. “To what do I owe the pleasure this time?” he laughed. His laugh was haunting, intimidating, and yes so alluring.

The man dressed in black armor stood there with a stern face, “Where is she Joker?” he growled in a low voice.

“I don’t know who you are referring to,” Joker smirked.

“Don’t play games with me Joker, I know you took her.” The bat said through clenched teeth.


You hear voices coming from the other side of the door you were tapped behind. You wanted to scream but the cloth over your mouth prevented you from doing so. You were a little out of it and your head was swimming and you felt dizzy, “was I drugged?” you asked yourself. You try to move your hands but wince at burn from the rope tied around your wrists.

“Give her back,” an angry voice shouted.

‘What is she to you Batsy? I’ve seen you two together quite a lot. Is she your little play thing? Come on bats, you can tell me,” the other man laughed hysterically.

You hear a loud bang and wonder what’s going on out there, you lean over and fall to your side and look through the crack under the door. You see Joker on the ground with one hand on his cheek and using the other to push himself to his knees but not before he catches your gaze and grins wickedly. That grin is terrifying. You felt tears start to well up in your eyes.

“She’s not here Batsy Boy, but you better find her soon,” Joker said.

Your eyes widen in fear that your Batman was going to leave, “He’s lying! I’m right here! Don’t go!” you scream in your mind but it’s useless.

You’re head is pounding as you try to sit up; you need to make some noise so let him know you’re in here. You’re too focused on trying to figure a way out to hear the conversation unfolding. By the time you get back to a sitting position and are about to ram your shoulder into the door it opens suddenly, resulting in you falling hard on to the cold concrete. You look up and your eyes dart around frantically. You see Joker chuckling to himself; your heart is pounding so fast and so hard it starting to hurt.

“How sad, it looks as though your friend has left and you didn’t even get to say hello,” he says with a terrifying smile. “Well my dear, it’s time to go. We must leave before the bat finds out I sent him on a wild goose chase,” he laughed as he hoisted you over his shoulder. You tried to struggle but whatever he did to you earlier was making you feel weak, a sudden wave of exhaustion rolled over you and you drifted off before you were even carried through the front door.

When you awoke again you were in a dark room, the only source of light came from the window next to you. You look around the room when he steps into the soft cascade of moonlight. You realize your hands are no longer tied and your mouth isn’t covered anymore. “Where am I?” you ask weakly, your voice a little hoarse. You try to sit up but you still feel a little weak and can’t support the weight so you fall back onto the bed that you’re laying on.

“Don’t worry about things like “where” or “why” because it doesn’t matter,” he said as he sat on the bed next to you, he helped you sit up and put his hand behind your back to keep you upright. You involuntarily leaned over and rested your head on his shoulder.

You look up a bit and catch a glimpse at Jokers face; he’s looking right at you with an expression you can’t quite place, and to be honest it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. You stare at his facial features, his smile which was normally terrifying was almost kind but it still scared you, his blue eyes looked down straight into yours and you blushed.

“So, what exactly are you to the bat?” he asked, snapping you out of your daze, you realize his face was just inches from yours which made you blush more. You tried to look away but you couldn’t. “Hmm?” he inched closer.

“I-I don’t know…” you manage to squeak out.

He narrowed his eyes at you and you trembled under his intimidating glare.

“Lying isn’t very nice little girl,” he growled. “I’ve seen you with him multiple times.”

You cower a bit at the horrifying tone his voice held. “He’s m-my dad, not biological though, he adopted me after my mom died and since my dad abandoned my mom before I was born I had nobody so he took me in,” you whimpered.

The Jokers eyes widened in surprise for a moment then he threw his head back and laughed that haunting laugh of his, his metal teeth shining in the light. “Oh this is rich, I took the bats kid,” he laughed harder. “Here I thought you were just his really young girlfriend, but you’re the damn bats kid,” he held his side as he laughed.

“Will you let me go..?” you asked quietly, trying not to anger him.

“Will I let you go? Hmm, tempting, but no. You’re worth way more than some broad. I think I’ll keep you. Plus I could use some eye candy around here,” he said and grinned as his face inched closer to yours, his lips were so close to yours you could feel his breath as he spoke.

You tried to back away but he pulled you closer, crushing his lips against yours. Your eyes widened with shock, you wanted to get away, you needed to, but you couldn’t. There was something about the way that he kissed you that made you feel as though you were melting, you couldn’t resist anymore, you finally closed your eyes and gave in to the sensation of kissing the insane man.

He finally broke the kiss and backed away slightly. Your eyes were glazed over and your head was swimming. He looked at you and smiled for a brief moment as if he found something amusing. “That shade looks good on you,” he laughed.

You were confused for a minute when you realized his blood red lipstick was smudged a bit and you blushed. You looked down so he couldn’t see your face, you were so embarrassed. You flex your fingers a bit finally beginning to regain some strength.

Joker leans over to peer at your still blushing face, and you turn your head more. He lets out a low growl and grabs you by your jaw, pulling you to look at him again. “Don’t turn away from me,” he growls and licks his lips. His eyes are cutting straight through yours, the look on his face is terrifying and you start to tremble under his gaze. He grins wickedly at your reaction and licks his lips once more; looking at you like a hungry lion looks at his prey.

“P-please let me go J-Joker…” you stutter as he inches closer to you. You flex your fingers some more.

Joker lets out a low growl and you cower slightly. “I already told you no. Don’t ask again or you might make me angry kitten.”

“W-Why did you take me?” you whimper.

“You ask a lot of questions little girl. You see Batsy is fun to mess with and I was bored so I needed something to do. That’s when I saw you. No more questions. Daddy doesn’t like it,” he glares at you and pushes you back onto the bed.

You look up at him terrified of what he might do. He looks at your horrified expression and laughs.

“Oh, yes. I didn’t get your name doll,” he says as he inches his face closer to yours. When you don’t respond he growls and grabs your jaw.

“I don’t like being ignored kitten,” he snarls.

“(Y/N)…” you say quietly, your voice trembling slightly.

“(Y/N),” he purrs. You look at him when he saws your name.

‘The way he said my name..was kind of sexy…’ you think to yourself. ‘Where the hell did that thought come from? He kidnapped you, you idiot,’ you shake your head.

He looks at you trying to figure out what you’re thinking. You look up at him and see his perplexed expression.

“W-what?” you ask.

“What are you thinking about?” he looks into your (E/C) eyes; you stare back into his piercing blue orbs and can’t seem to look away. His glare is so intimidating, almost hypnotic, but oh so beautiful.

“You have pretty eyes..” you say softly causing his glare to intensify. You cower slightly but still can’t seem to take your eyes off of his.

“I asked you a question kitten, don’t make me repeat it,” he growls.

“I-I was thinking about how I liked the way you said my name..” you stutter. This causes him to laugh.

“Oh? You like it when daddy says your name? Little (Y/N),” he grins.

You blush softly and nod your head.

He grabs your throat a little tightly and you gasp, “Oh little kitten, we’re going to have some fun. But I have some business to attend at the moment so be a good girl and behave while I’m gone,” he says and pushes you back down onto the bed roughly. He walks out of the room locking the door him. You wait a few minutes and crawl off the bed, your legs a little shaky. You go to the door and try to jiggle the handle. ‘Damn it, he locked me in.. I have to get out of here, dads worried about me,’ you think to yourself.

You walk over to the window slowly and smile when you see that’s its unlocked. That smile slowly fades once you see that you’re on the third floor, it fades even faster when you see a guard standing outside beneath your window.

You look around the bedroom trying to find something you can use to escape, you decide to tie some sheets together as some kind of makeshift rope, it’s going to be a little short but you think you should be fine. ‘Now what about that stupid guard’ you look around and find a small table lamp. ‘That’ll work’ you think as you unplug the lamp smirking slightly.

You go back to the window and open it quietly; you hold the lamp out the window and aim it above the guards head. “Hey stupid!” you shout and drop the lamp. The guard looks up annoyed; the lamp hits him on the head effectively knocking him out. You giggle slightly and tie the end of your sheet rope to the bed frame and toss the other end out the window, you quickly shimmy down the rope. Once you come to the end of the rope you’re about twenty feet away from the ground. ‘Great. Just great’ you sigh. You let go and brace for impact, luckily you landed the guard you knocked out. It still hurt but at least he cushioned your fall. You flick his head and he twitches, ‘well, at least I didn’t kill him,’ you giggle. You get up and dust yourself off, your leg hurts but you don’t care, you need to get out of there. You look up at the window and see Joker. And boy does he look pissed. You grin up at him and flip him off; he doesn’t like that very much. You turn and start to run as you hear him call for his men to come catch you. You sprint as fast as you can until you’re out of breath, you’re panting for breath as you look for somewhere to hide, and you decide to hide behind some dumpsters by and abandoned building.

You’re there for a few minutes catching your breath when you hear footsteps. You hold your breath and hope they don’t find you, ‘come on! Go away. I’m so close!’

Someone grabs you from behind and you scream.

“Hello, Kitten.” Joker says in your ear. He sounds pissed. You gasp he snakes his hand around your throat and squeezes. You grab his arm and try to pull his hand away but he’s stronger than you, your vision is getting blurry and you’re losing strength in your grip on his arm.

“Goodnight little (Y/N),” he whispers in your ear right before everything goes black.