you make absolutely no sense to me

anonymous asked:

I'd 15 weeks a good amount of time for characters to form a friendship or get a crush on someone?

That’s over 3 months, which is one hell of a slow burn if we’re simply talking friendships and crushes. You can crush on someone or befriend someone after a week or two - unless these characters start off absolutely loathing each other, in which case you have considerable ground to cover. Otherwise, 15 weeks, to me, makes more sense for falling in love. 

idk man the thing that sucks about not being really pretty is that no matter what you tell yourself and what your friends might say, you sort of always know that you’re just not. and i’m not talking about being stubborn and fishing for compliments, it’s just knowing that you’re not conventionally attractive, that people on the street won’t double-take when you pass by them, that people won’t be flustered trying to talk to you. and i know looks aren’t everything but damn it sure feels like it when you aren’t absolutely gorgeous

“Welcome,” she said. “Welcome, and thank you for agreeing to be a volunteer with Multnomah County Libraries. We are so grateful for you and your commitment to our community. For the next hour, we’re going to go over some important information that you need to know as a volunteer, no matter what role you play.”

I expected that we were going to learn about things like policies for canceling our shifts, or maybe where to find first aid kits. We probably did talk about those things. But the part that I remember most vividly is the first thing she talked about.

“We’re going to start with the Library Bill of Rights from the American Library Association,” she said, and she projected the text of the document onto the screen. “Everyone who works for libraries, including volunteers, helps to support and uphold the Library Bill of Rights.”

This was new to me. I’d been a regular patron at my local public library for years, graduating from Dr. Seuss to The Babysitters Club series to, most recently, my fixation on books about neo-paganism and queer sex. No one had mentioned this whole Bill of Rights thing. It was a short document with just a few bullet points.

“Libraries support free access to information,” Bess explained. “One of our core values is intellectual freedom. This impacts all of you because when you’re volunteering for the library, we expect you to support the rights of library users to find and read whatever they want, even if you don’t agree with what they’re looking for.”

She continued, “For example, let’s say that a small child came up to you and asked where to find the Stephen King books. You might think those books are too scary for someone that age, or that he shouldn’t be reading that kind of stuff. But that doesn’t matter. No matter what, we help people find the information they want, and we don’t censor their interests. Does that make sense?”

Heads around the room nodded, and I leaned back into the wall, letting her words sink in. It was absolutely, positively the most radical, punk rock thing I had ever heard in my life.

I can read whatever I want. No one can stop me.

I can help other people read what they want. And no one can stop them.

“This is core,” Bess added, “to a functioning democracy. We believe that fighting censorship and providing free, unrestricted access is key to helping citizens participate in the world. And, most importantly, we keep everyone’s information strictly confidential. So, even if you know what books your neighbor is checking out or what they’re looking at on the computer, you don’t share that with anyone.”

As someone who kept carefully guarded notebooks full of very personal thoughts, I was especially excited by the library’s emphasis on privacy. All of this sounded great. I wanted more. I wanted in. I wanted to be a crazy, wild, counterculture librarian-witch who would help anyone read anything from The Anarchist’s Cookbook to Mein Kampf. I would be a bold freedom fighter in the face of censorship. I would defend unfiltered Internet access and anatomically correct picture books. Maybe I was only in the eighth grade, but I was ready to stand up to anyone who tried to threaten the ideal of intellectual freedom. Fuck blink-182. Libraries were the real punk rock.

— 

LIBRARIES ARE THE REAL PUNK ROCK by Zoe Fisher

realizing you’re on the ace spectrum like

“I’d hit that.” “You… you don’t even know them though??”

“Oh come on, everyone has a list of celebrities they’d totally have sex with if they had a chance.” “Haha yeah ok” *internally* what

"Ya so like for the past few years I’ve felt zero attraction to people I wasn’t friends with first?? Lol what’s up with that”

Why did you have to have sex with them?? Couldn’t you just hold it?? Like pee??

“You’ll meet someone who makes you feel like that someday, don’t worry” “……sounds fake but ok”

“Sex is an important part of a relationship! Everyone has sexual needs!” “….sounds fake but ok”

“Dude that girl is so hot” “I know right?? Look at her fucking eyeliner. Goals. The fuck.” “No I meant like… look at that ass” “Are we looking at the same person are you really focussing on her ass look at how visually appealing her outfit is and dont you dare fuckin tell me that eyeliner isnt fierce as hell

“Aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction are two different things” *puzzle pieces vERY RAPIDLY FALLING INTO PLACE*

*staring at the ceiling at two-thirty in the morning* i could die a virgin and i would regret absolutely nothing

“What’s your ideal girl like?” “Uh… my best friend?” “Oh cute, you want your girlfriend to be the one who knows you best!” “No I meant I am literally only attracted to my best friend she is my ideal girl please help I am dying”

“We’ve been dating for six months and we still haven’t had sex!!” “Have you marathoned Star Wars together yet?” “Yeah we did that like two weeks ago” “Well what more do you want

*thinking about an attractive woman* *dissecting my entire personality and sexuality to figure out why I’m attracted to her this time* is it the muscles. Oh my god is this a sex thing. Oh my god what the hell is this. Oh my god what the fuck is the wtf the fuck the fUCK

*Next day* Zarya could punch me in the face while eating me out and I’d let her but only because she’s a fictional character and therefore could literally never do that

*writing fanfic* ONLY CLOSE FRIENDS HAVE SEX BC ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE MAKES SENSE TO ME

(why is that tho. maybe i should look into that *doesnt look into it*)

“What do you find most attractive in a girl?” “Gotta love those strong emotional bonds” “No I meant like what’s a turn-on for you?” “DID I McFUCKING STUTTER”

*staring at the ceiling at two-thirty in the morning again* sexual attraction should be added to the cryptid wikia

“Yeah sex sounds like a great stress reliever and a nice way to strengthen the bonds between you and your partner(s)” “Well there’s more to it than that…” *The Arctic Monkey’s Do I Wanna Know starts playing in my head* “Haha ok buddy”

"There’s more to being ace than just not being interested in having sex or not feeling sexual attraction. In fact there’s a whole spectrum. You may even feel sexual attraction sometimes but still be ace. You can also be gay and ace at the same time.” “…bro.” “Also it’s totally normal.” *sobbing* “…bro. Bro there are words for it there’s an entire list oh my god-”

“-finally.”

I used to have a lot of trouble still do with procrastination and I realized that, in my new studyblr days, I didn’t know how to utilize my studyblr to help me and it was just another way for me to procrastinate and feel productive. If you can relate to this, you could probably benefit from this little dose of studyblr realness.

  1. Don’t use your studyblr just for aesthetics: studyspo is great for inspiration and motivation, and it’s probably what drew you to the studyblr community, but it shouldn’t be what makes you stay. You won’t be able to take anything worthwhile from your blog if all you reblog is photos of beautiful notes. Mix it up with masterposts and printables and photos of “non-aesthetic” notes.
  2. Don’t use methods that don’t work for you: if you absolutely cannot understand mindmaps but absolutely love the way they look, resist the urge to make them. You’ll only end up confusing yourself and wasting time. Only use note taking and studying methods that make sense to you. 90 percent of the time they’ll be things that you used before you made a studyblr. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t experiment with different styles and methods, but only stick to what works for you.
  3. Discipline over motivation: imho, the study community  overstates the importance and effectiveness of motivation. Don’t get me wrong, motivation makes studying more enjoyable when you have it, but more often than not you don’t. In the end, motivation isn’t what makes you study every night, or stick with self studying a language. You have to discipline yourself to study when you don’t want to, or work when you’re tired. My old French teacher used to say “Don’t fall into the trap of waiting motiviation, and just do it” and I feel like that’s super important with this. (1, 2, 3)
  4. Talking about studying isn’t studying: sort of related to number 3, don’t let your studyblr be another way to put off work. It’s all to easy to think “I’m blogging about studying; in being productive,” but it’s a dangerous thing to do. Studyspo is great, but don’t let scrolling through your feed become another method of procrastination.
  5. Take photos after you study: or during, but not before. I used to spend so long taking pictures of my notes, that I wouldn’t have time to study them. I still take too long photographing my notes to take picture, so I’ve started using a pomorodo timer. After 25 minutes, I’ll use my five minute break to take photos. It’s increases my productivity so much, and I’m not sure how I ever functioned without that system.
  6. Just get it done (and prioritize): honestly, sometime you just have to forget about trying to make your notes look pretty and just go for functionality over looks. Just let go of any studyblr ideals and do what you need to do. If you don’t have time to bullet journal and get your work finished, use an electronic calendar or don’t spend so long on your journal. Most importantly, be real with yourself. At the end of the day, you know yourself best, and you know what you need to do.

Good luck on your studyblr journeys lovelies, hope this helped!

xx

podcasts wot i listen to

this is a rec list of sorts

okay, so, in the order i listened to them:

  1. welcome to night vale - everyone and their mother has heard of wtnv, it’s the first podcast most people listen to, and it is deserving of that fame! funny, creepy, weird, and great on representation, it is an exceedingly well written and thought out podcast. in case, for some inexplicable reason, you haven’t heard people banging on about it enough, it is in the format of a local radio show in the small desert town of night vale, where every conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard is true.
  2. the orbiting human circus (of the air) - ngl, this is my comfort podcast. it is the nicest sounding thing i’ve ever listened to. the way voices and music blend together creates a plethora of delights for the ears. the story of the first season follows julian, janitor of the eiffel tower, and tells weird and wonderful stories that are pure magic. the second season is a different story, but is just as beautiful.
  3. within the wires - the format for this one is so. clever. it had me hooked from the beginning to the end, and the writing and the way the story unfolds is genius. it is quite unsettling, but in a good way if that makes any sense. it is told in the format of relaxation cassettes addressed to you, the listener, in a medical facility.
  4. alice isn’t dead - okay, so, i’m not really a horror person, but alice isn’t dead is too good for that to matter. it features absolutely stellar acting from jasika nicole, and brilliant writing from joseph fink. it follows a truck driver as she journeys across america to find her missing wife, and encounters strange and horrific things along the way. 
  5. wolf 359 - this was my first non-night vale presents podcast, and boy did i like it! the characters are endearing and complex, the pacing of the story is perfection itself, and the soundtrack! hoo man, the soundtrack is awesome. the podcast follows the uss hephaestus station in orbit around the dwarf star wolf 359, and features crew antics, strange happenings, and feels.
  6. wooden overcoats - i have to be honest here, i love podcasts, but the us-centric nature of them made it really nice to find one made in the uk. as an english person, wooden overcoats was a refreshing touch of home. plus, it is very funny. it follows rudyard and antigone funn, funeral directors on the channel island of piffling, as they deal with the arrival of eric chapman, a new opposition to their monopoly on funerals.
  7. eos 10 - i love this podcast. i love it so much i can barely formulate words. it is funny, and heartwarming at times, with characters that i just want to bundle up and hug. it is about life in the medical section of space base eos 10, and details how the main characters deal with medical emergencies, addiction, deposed alien princes, and (alleged) terrorists.
  8. the penumbra podcast - another favourite! it has a great format, alternating stories about juno steel, a non-binary, bisexual, PI on mars, with other stories set in different locations, including but not limited to lesbian bandits in the old west and a disabled knight in a high fantasy setting. every episode is consistently stunning, and i guarantee you will fall head over heels for the characters.
  9. the bright sessions - you may have heard this summary before, but ‘superheroes go to therapy’ sums it up accurately. to be more precise, it follows the practice of dr joan bright, who provides ‘therapy for the strange and unusual’. the superheroes are known as ‘atypicals’ and the episodes detail how their powers affect their lives. it tackles themes of isolation, involuntary testing, ptsd, the difficulties of being a teenager and many others. the characters and acting are awesome!
  10. inkwyrm - this is an amateur podcast written and produced by high schoolers, and it. is. so. professional. the team have gone above and beyond to create an awesome podcast, with great characters! the voice-acting is really good and they’re great on lgbt+ representation. it follows the crew of inkwyrm magazine, an intergalactic fashion publication produced from a space station.
  11. marscorp - this is another one for my sorry english ass. the humour is very good, i have laughed out loud in several places! the setting is on point and i love the characters. (please, can i hug david knight?) it follows e.l. hobb, who is woken 400 years late from suspended animation and now has a degraded, sloppy first attempt at colonising mars to get into shape.
  12. alba salix, royal physician - so i only started this one today, but i’m loving it! i’m two episodes in and already know that the characters and worldbuilding are great. it’s clear the writers know their fantasy, as it effortlessly pokes fun at tropes of the genre. it’s laugh-out-loud funny and i can’t wait to listen to more. the podcast follows alba salix, physician to the king and queen as she deals with a helpful-to-the-point-of-annoyance fairy assistant and an apprentice who just wants to learn dark magic.
Aliens watching out for their humans

So most of the stories I’ve seen in the Humans-Are-Weird/Space-Australia/Space-Orcs have had aliens being completely accepting and mostly one human explaining things.

So what would happen when the alien crew who loved their human and easily accepted that their brain didn’t always work right encountered as absolute asshole?

“Human Katyleen, I do not understand why you are upset about Human Sarah traveling with our crew?”

“Because psychos like her should be locked up Galthor! God first it’s rude to call them nutjobs when they are now they get to take the spots that people like me deserve!”

“Do you have the ability to lift a Bilibithor above your head?”

“No but-”

“Ah! You must be able to out-talk a Fiffifin then!”

“They use so many alliterations it makes no sense!”

“Are you able to correctly change speeds to prevent a hyper speed collision that is, the earth term is inches correct?”

“She is still a psycho! She could snap at any time and kill you all!”

“I believe Human Sarah told us about your kind.”

“What did she say?”

“I believe the terms used is cunt.”

You know, I really love all those ‘Earth is Space Australia’ ideas and humans as the super tough, super unflappable space badasses who can smile in the face of any danger and who will pet absolutely anything that mostly isn’t toxic and sits still long enough. I adore them. However, sometimes I do wonder … do aliens have phobias?

Because I can’t help thinking that somewhere in this future universe there’s the one human who went to space because spaceships are relatively sterile environments and therefore in space there are less bugs*. And then one day a guest comes onto the ship and their multilegged pet comes slithering out from under their fashionable collar and suddenly from the back of the shuttle bay there’s this high-pitched, hysterical screaming. And the alien crew turn around and there is their human, their badass, amazingly tough human, the one who managed to survive with half her leg torn off that one time long enough to make it back to medbay, the one who bluffed space pirates for a full half-cycle without so much as a quiver, the one who had to be forcibly restrained from petting the nine-foot slavering hregallar on Threlanix because apparently they were 'adorable babies’ … that human, their human, is suddenly clinging to the ceiling in blatant defiance of the ship’s artificial gravity and wailing her head off in absolute terror over a pathetic little xhilitin. The tiny, stupidly harmless insects that about sixteen species keep as pets because their jewelled carapaces are lovely and decorative and they’re so dumb and harmless that they’ll cheerfully sit on your hat as an ornament from here until infinity.

So the mildly shellshocked aliens try and calm their human down and they get her to medbay and they’re asking 'are the xhilitin on Earth dangerous?’, which, probably, apparently everything on Earth is deadly, but none of it has ever terrified their human before, and their absolutely mortified human is going 'no, well yes, some of them are, that’s not the point, it doesn’t matter if they’re dangerous or not, I just don’t fucking like them, okay, please never let one aboard ship again, i will love you forever and fight off a hundred pirates for you if you just keep the creepy leggy little fuckers the hell away from me, i’m so fucking serious right now, i am begging you’.

And she is absolutely deadly serious, and it makes no sense whatsoever, but suddenly the entire crew are 100% for never, ever letting xhilitin aboard the ship again. Because, well. She would fight off a hundred pirates for them, she has fought off a hundred pirates for them, she’s dragged herself back with half her leg torn off that one time after saving Lehm and Ehletol from the nine-foot slavering beasties she still thinks are adorable. There is no rational reason in the universe for her to be afraid of xhilitin, but it doesn’t matter, because she is, and that means this ship is suddenly a no-insect zone from now until forever.

Because hey, okay, humans are tough, humans are insane, humans come from Space Australia, but sometimes humans come with a couple of odd little quirks, sometimes they’re randomly terrified of ridiculously harmless things, and that’s okay. That’s okay. That just means that sometimes aliens get a chance to look out for their humans in return.


* please allow me my comforting illusions and do not inform me of how unsterile and full of bugs spaceships really are, okay, this is future sci-fi land where spaceships are clean and free of creepy crawlies and nobody needs to have nightmares

His Mind Created the Perfect Metaphor

Dear BBC Sherlock community,

Ever since Sherlock series 4 came out, collectively we were like “what the HELL is this?!?! This doesn’t make any sense!” BUT after many months of tossing ideas around the fandom, we have made theories that could explain the weirdness, but nothing we can all agree on. Now, this meta here may be absolute garbage to you, but I believe, in my heart of hearts, I’ve solved it. Please read it in its entirety with an open mind before you reblog it just to tell me I suck.

Thanks in advance, you da best

Paige


Here’s the short version: Sherlock actually jumped at the end of The Reichenbach Fall, just as Doyle intended him to die. Gatiss and Moffat said they are correcting something in this adaptation that no one else has gotten right before. Many of us assumed the homosexual romance was the one thing they were changing, but we were punched in the face right after The Final Problem came out.  Gatiss and Moffat are changing the sacrifice. Holmes was intended to die for his friends but Doyle needed more money and rewrote the series after “The Final Problem”. That turned Holmes’ sacrifice into a cruel joke against Watson. This is what BBC Sherlock is fixing, and we’re about to see it come to fruition.

I know many theorists despise the homosexual reading of Holmes and Watson, while many people in general despise theorists on this site. That’s fine, I don’t care how people feel about gay theories and/or TJLC and its followers.  But I’m here to tell you TJLC, at its core as a concept, was right. You may hate Moffat and Gatiss, you may think Sherlock is a piece of shit show, and that’s fine, you do you. But hear this one meta out, please. I think even the hardest skeptic can at least apprectiate the thought and logic behind this.

Keep reading

Just Let It End... No More Drama

I had seen some people talking about the drama that’s been going on surrounding Sean and Signe, and I hadn’t really known what was going on until it popped up on my Twitter. It’s not my intention to stir things up, so I want to say just one thing about this whole situation and then let it all end.

It’s a really fucked up situation. The fact that all these accusations are flying, and have stemmed from absolutely nowhere… to me, it’s just baffling, and it’s not something I think I’ll ever understand. It’s fairly clear that this girl is delusional and there isn’t anything we can do to change that. She claims we’re white knighting the two and that we can’t “face the truth”, which just makes no sense to me.

Now, I haven’t seen this happening a lot, but the one thing she is right about is how we’ve been responding to the situation. I know that most of you have been good about all of this, but please keep in mind that we shouldn’t talk down to people and say mean things about them, even if what they are doing is absolutely inconceivable. This girl has to be going through something in her own life to make her act in this way. Saying mean things or threatening her is not going to do us any good.

I know it sucks. I know we want it all to end. But I’m sure no one wants it to end more than Sean and Signe. And I’m sure that the more we bring it up, the more irritating it is. So, as much as I hate to say it, the best thing we can do in this situation is just let it go. We need to stop giving this girl attention and let this all fade away. I know that we want to support Sean and Signe because we care about them, but this really isn’t our battle to fight. Signe did the right thing by blocking this person and eventually this will all blow over, I’m sure of it.

That said, I appreciate this community so much. And it’s nice to see everyone stick up for each other. But please, do it in the right way. For this situation, I think the right way really is to do nothing. I hope you all agree.

me: you know, logically a shield reunion doesn’t make much sense storyline wise and the fact that seth hasn’t apologized to roman yet but he still has somehow forgiven him makes absolutely no sense-

me to me: sierra. hotel. india. echo. lima. delta. SHIELD

It seemed just your luck to have rented an apartment directly above a group of cultists.  

You’ve lost count of hearing their inane, rhythmic chanting below your floorboards and the faint flicker of candles around an elaborate chalk circle. You’ve complained numerous times before, but every time they’ve greeted you at the doorway in their draping red hoods, solemn-faced and muttering about bringing the ‘Great Old Ones’ back.  

For all the macabre airs that surrounded the place, the rent was cheap. Impossibly cheap. At first, you had been elated by such a turn of luck after you’d been so suddenly thrust into the adult world with both a job and school to juggle, but by now you knew why tenancy changed so quickly. But there was no way you’d be able to find another apartment this cheap. So you just tried to ignore the strangeness that lingered around you by immersing yourself in the real world outside your door, silently dreading the moments where you would have to return home.  Any other person would have turned heels long ago, but you’re just too stubborn to leave. It’s your home. You feel a sense of protective belonging over it, almost as if it’s your responsibility. 

You’ve come to expect the unusual from your living circumstances.  

     However, what you would have never expected would be a loud, unearthly rumbling that would send you sprawling to the ground, where the muted screams of cultists to waver up through the cracks in the floorboards. 

After the initial shock, apathy and exasperation set in. 

Damn it. After so many failed rituals and chants, so many nights spent reading spells from mind-destroying ancient tomes, they’ve actually done it. 

Well, at least you won’t have to deal with your downstairs neighbors anymore, you remind yourself hopefully. 

The journey down the stairs is a dark, tepid one where you blindly grope the spiraling banister, feeling as if something is just going to jump out at you like a overused horror movie cliche. Even though you try and convince yourself otherwise- damn it, you’re an adult, you shouldn’t be afraid of these things- the fear till lingers. 

The first thing you notice is the immense heat that blasts onto your face, sending trails of condensation down your already pale brow. It’ unusual because their heat is turned off all the time, even in the depths of winter. The only heat source down there is candlelight for when they carry out their unearthly rituals. But now it feels like you’re in the boiler room of the apartment block, walls almost scalding to touch. 

A smeared chalk pentacle glimmers in the shivering light of a single candle in the center of the room, it’s siblings long since extinguished. Everything in the room is scattered and overturned, the wooden floorboards blackened, but curiously not burnt. It’s as if some massive, invisible explosion has take place. The musty air is already making you nervous- something lingers in it, something that you already have the sense to know is not of this earth, that every cell i your body screams to get out of. There’s no trace of your neighbors anywhere. But you can’t help but feel as if you’re not alone, as if something is watching you from the shadows.

Maturity tells you to call the police. But you’ve tried that in the past, and nothing has ever really come from it. And if you tried describing what was down here, you were sure that they would hang up on you as a prank call. 

There’s a patter of movement from behind you. Noticing something sharp glinting from across the floor, you scrabble down to grab it, to try and protect yourself.

There’s a low clicking growl from the darkness. You feel ready to pass out from fear at any moment. You grip the knife shakily in your hand, but somehow feel even more helpless. Even when shrouded in darkness, you know that you’re powerless against whatever faces you. 

      With a shrieking cackle, something massive launches itself from the darkness with flashing white eyes and a fanged mouth trailing viscous saliva. You wait for death, but find it curiously absent. You look down to see the thing feeding on something else, and yourself completely unharmed. 

It’s a massive mass of pulsating tentacles from the waist down, slithering across the floor on them like some giant demented octopus. Above, it’s a bony white mockery of the human form, scales trailing down it’s spiky spine. Seeing it’s arms flex as it tears into it’s meal, it’s a lot more muscular than you thought. Around it’s head, you see a familiar robed hand, half-clutching a hammer. A hand that belonged to someone, one of the cultists, who was going to bring it down on you and use you as a human sacrifice. 

With a dawning shock, you realize that whatever this thing is, it just saved you. 

You move hesitantly towards it and it’s head whips around, glowing eyes burning right into your rigid form. It looks at you in a way you’ve never seen anyone look at you before, so intently, so longingly. It softens you to sympathy towards it, instead of screaming at the sight of it. 

“Thank you,” you breathe out.

You cringe at how ridiculous you must sound. You don’t even know if it can understand what you’re even saying, or if you’re really just the light snack for it after the heavy dinner of loyal cultists. Much to your surprise, it understands. A low longing growl coils out from it’s throat. It’s not even human, but you somehow feel closer to it than you’ve ever felt to any fellow member of your species. There’s more than that. You see it in it’s whole stance, aching familiar- it’s lonely.

Lonely- just like you. 

Overwhelmed by the situation, you make a quick run for upstairs. But as you’re midway up the staircase, you hear a low squelching sound. Whatever it is, it’s not about to leave you. 

     That evening was how you found yourself saddled with an unusual new roommate. He didn’t have an exact name, well at least not in human language. The most you had gotten out of him was a high-pitched series of clicks and ear-splitting squeals. 

Despite all odds, you two had somehow become amicable. True, he practically ate you out of house and home, but he was always there to listen to your day and silently comfort you from your stresses, wrapping his tentacles around you in a slimy hug. 

There were the few annoyances- while most roommates had to deal with their stuff being borrowed without permission, or not doing chores, you had to stop yours from eating neighborhood cats. 

It was nice having someone to come home to- even if that someone was actually something that was from another dimension all together. It was still nice.

Still, the memory of that night played on your mind- why had he saved you from becoming a sacrifice? Why hadn’t he just devoured you like he had with everyone else?

You sat half-curled up on the couch, a stack of junk food seated in your lap, more for him than it is for you. Beside you was your laptop. If there was anything that you loved about the new routine, it was movie night. It was a night where you could just lose yourself and forget the stresses of the world. You were so used to watching movies alone, but now you had someone else to enjoy them with. 

And you had to admit,  it was oddly endearing to see a tentacled, eldritch beast enjoy watching animated children’s movies. He shifted beside you, clawed hands shifting against the fabric of the duvet you’d put over to protect the couch from further damage. He was enraptured by the screen, toothy mouthed stretched into a wide grin. He loved movie night just as much as you did, already devouring half the stack of snacks. But you don’t mind.

Somehow you didn’t focus on the movie like you thought you would. Your mind slipped away from the action onscreen, becoming more wistful. You kept thinking about that night, about the ritual gone wrong. 

“Hey,” you suddenly remarked, “I just realized something.” 

His head instantly whipped around from the bright illumination of the screen within the dimmed room. 

“Mrnnnh?” came his curious growl. 

You suppressed a laugh at how truly catlike this hideous, tentacled monstrosity could be. 

“Two months since we met, and we moved in. I think it calls for some kind of celebration.” 

You paused. 

“I’ve…I’ve just been thinking…” 

He leaned in, both curious and concerned, sensing your obvious hesitancy. You force yourself to exhale. 

“That night…what was it about me? Everyone else…you devoured. But you left me alive. You saved me. Why? Why me?” 

The creature goes quiet. You already feel as if you’ve made a terrible mistake and feel like gingerly trying to switch the topic of conversation. But he shifts over the couch, slightly creaking it with his own immense stature.

“I…wanted to devour…wanted to devour everyone…but…” he growls in a deep, grating tone. 

His head tilts downwards towards you, making you feel absolutely tiny in the shadow of his presence. 

“…I… don’t want to eat…you. You…not meat to me.” 

He pauses for a minute, as if struggling what to say. 

”You…mean..more…to me…than…just meat.” 

You’re so shocked by the brevity of his words that it only dawns on you a few minutes later that it’s the first time you’ve ever heard him speak human words.

Squeezing back the few tears that brim within the glassy corners of your eyes, you draw close to him, allowing yourself to be embraced by his long arms. His touch is almost crushing, you know if he really tried, he could rip you apart, but you feel nothing but comfort. 

“Thank you.” you murmured softly. 

Your monster smiles down at you, revealing an array of sharp teeth, arranged in a welcoming, loving smile. 

seventeen absolutely do not get all the praise they deserve. they can bring out a new style and concept that is quite literally the exact opposite of what they’re known for yet it sounds like them. it’s so different yet it’s still them. they really can do anything. and don’t talk to me about how multi talented they all. each individual member can really do anything. it’s all about finding the right fit for it. they can surprise you so much. did we expect vocalist mingyu or rapper hoshi? nope but we got it, it absolutely makes sense  and they kicked ass. you never know what to expect from seventeen which makes stanning them even more enjoyable. 

Special Places

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Words: 3017

Warnings: Smut. One NSFW gif

Anon asked “Can you do a Bucky Smut fic where the reader just moved back to town and is reunited with Bucky after not seeing each other for a long time and they’re old best friends and always had feelings for each other they just never acted on them because they were scared. Sorry is that doesn’t make sense!! You’re literally the only author that makes the best smut stories ever because you use gifs with them😂🙈”

A/N: This was fun to write considering a had a similar thing happen…apart from the sex part. Let me know if you want to be tagged here.

Originally posted by gothicclownqueen

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What’s in a meme?

okay, so more on the humans are weird tag, I’m thinking of doing one of my own every day what do you think? anyway todays is, yep you guessed it: memes.
not necessarily just memes though, just jokes in general. memes were just my starting thought, but hey, let’s go from what seems like the logical start.
How weird are human jokes? Like, we have some which just don’t make sense, like i don’t know if anyone else has seen that “No, two goat is too much” post [that probably doesn’t make sense to anyone else but i know what joke I’m talking about] but even if you don’t know that post i’m sure you’ve seen them around, those posts that make ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE, but you laugh ridiculously hard at.

another type of jokes: puns. why do we find them funny??? don’t get me wrong, i love them, but why? I’ve been thinking about it for a solid two minutes and i can’t even come up with an accurate definition of puns. in times like this i often turn to google:
pun: a joke exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings
like honestly, we just went “Hey, these two words sound similar but mean two completely different things, that’s hillarious!”k knock

Some of our jokes don’t even have answers! like what’s that about?
And what about the jokes that aren’t even jokes, like why did the chicken cross the road? imagine how confused they’d be
and what about knock knock jokes? i’d probably go something like this:
Human: hey Jeff, knock knock

Alien: Why are you knocking, isn’t knocking something done, not something verbally spoken, have i misunderstood the concept of knocking?
Human: No. no, no, not at all, it’s a joke
Alien: a… joke?

Human: yeah, I say knock knock, and then you say who’s there. after that I’ll answer and you repeat what i said but with who on the end, and then i answer that. do you get it.

Alien, I believe i understand human!Jack, you will knock i will ask who is there, you shall say your name and i shall ask you to clarify. is a joke a training exercise of some kind? a way to make sure we answer in an apropriate way?

Human: no, not really, like I won’t reply with my name, i’ll reply with something else
Alien: Ah! so we are always open to new names and outcomes, genius!

Human: Erm, no not exactly, let’s let’s just try it
Alien: Excelent, I am excited!

Human: knock knock:

Alien: Who is there?

Human: Isabelle

Alien: Isabelle who?

Human: Is the bell broken? i had to knock!

Alien: What a wonderful name, do please come in Isabelle broken i had to knock.

Human:…

Alien: What a wonderful exercise, we should do these “jokes” more often! [walks away]
Human: …

yeah, you see how it might get confusing.

alright, now it’s time to get to what I’m sure is the reason you’re here: memes.
memes make no sense, and you might think that would go under non-sensical jokes, but what more got me thinking, was how memes die. like, after a wile, a meme just dies out, everyone moves on and people don’t really think of them as funny anymore, what’s with that? like maybe they’ll think jokes are a seasonal thing just imagine:
Alien: Ah, yes i saw one of those “Forcefully removed” jokes the other day, and i brought it here to show you
Human: Oh, those aren’t funny anymore.
Alien: Oh, is this one not up to par?

Human: no, not that, just all of them

Alien: but it was before?

Human: Yeah, those were the shit a few months ago

Alien: Then why stop? is it seasonal? do jokes have a cycle? Is it because it’ aimed at different age groups?
Human: no, none of that, it just is.

Alien: …

anyway, not very well explained, but you get my point.

now Imagine a crew that’s pretty used to the humans, they can differentiate between jokes and serious, a few of them get the jokes even, they enjoy the jokes. then imagine one of the crew members likes dark humour, maybe they start telling anti jokes

Human: hey, wanna hear a joke?

Alien: Ooh, yes!

Human: A man walks into a bar

Alien: ooh, i love these ones

Human: His alcoholism is ruining his life and his family is falling apart.

Alien: wait what

as i said, human humour is weird. tomorrow, I’ll get into fashion.