you love me

You chose her. You married her. You have a kid with her. So why is it when you’re lying in bed awake at 3:00 am I’m the one you call. Why is it that when you’ve had a rough day my number is the first you dial just waiting for me to say “Hi Prince.” You left me for her so why is it that you still have my pictures saved and even after 5 years of being apart you’ve still managed to hold on to them. You’re with her so why is it that every year on my birthday at 12:00 am you’re the first to say “Happy Birthday.” You’re married to her so why is it that when we both walk past you, your eyes linger on me. Why did you choose her if you love me?
— 

Excerpts from the book I’ll never write #350

01/31/2017

8:10 pm

I always thought it was me who lost you. But really, it was you who lost me. Because while I’m asleep in someone else’s arms, receiving kisses from lips that aren’t yours, you’re lying awake trying to figure out how to get me back.
—  I’ve let you go, I’ve moved on, and I don’t love you anymore; March 20th 2016 
Just don’t....

Please, don’t tell me you love me
when you’re gonna flirt with other people.

Don’t tell me you miss me
when you don’t actually miss me.

Don’t give me pet names
when you’re giving other people pet names too.

Don’t treat me like I’m special
when you’re making other people feel special too.

Don’t tell me you care and later on make it seem like
you don’t give a damn.

Don’t tell me you love me
when you’re not really in love.

Just don’t.

When you smiled you had my undivided attention. When you laughed you had my urge to laugh with you. When you cried you had my urge to hold you. When you said you loved me, you had my heart forever.