you look to be having a good time jack

So, about that Book Of Life/Coco controversy

Wait, two movies of the same techniques that share some ideas and characters, coming out a few years of distance, unconventional from the mainstream, one of them being from Disney, involving dead people and with quirky characters taken from a bunch of mythologies… 

Where have I seen this before…

We white people/goths/Tim Burton fans have already been there. It happens that similar movies come out at a similar time, especially in animation. 

Case and point…

Or…

Or…

Or…

And you know the best part? We’ve already had two animated movies in a Latin American setting in the same period before.

In the end, both movies got a cult following. And they deserve it, because both are really good. 

Let us all let Coco breathe. Pixar guarantees quality, and needs some diversifying. And if anyone needs some reassurance, look up some of the crossovers we got between Emily’s world and Jack’s world. 

Hot Off The Press

Another AU where Jacky-Boy is a hockey player and Bitty has a job that involves hockey bc that’s my aesthetic. Anyway, I really know nothing about how the world of sports journalism works so there is probably some inaccuracies in here, but it’s an AU so who cares. Artistic license and all that. Very slightly NSFW (i just wanted to get all the warnings out there). 

***

“Are you into men?”

Jack has been asked this question before, but in such a subtle way (and typically involving Parson) that it’s easy to avoid. No reporter has ever straight out asked him. Besides, he’s not gay. He’s bisexual. So when Jack usually tells them, “No.” it’s not a lie. However, this time it feels different. Maybe it wasn’t just this particular time, but all the times added onto each other that’s finally causing him to really think about what hole he’s digging himself into.

The blunt question has him feeling panicky and the other presser notice his reaction too. Jack can’t say no, because that’s not true. He is into men. Jack’s panic quickly shifts, and now he just feels like shoving the microphones away and storming out, because this is hockey goddammit. Not E! news.

“Excuse me?” Jack clears his throat, trying to buy himself some time to think of a properly crafted response. Over the years, he’s developed a talent for that.

But everything is on overdrive and he feels his breath start to quicken again–

“Are you into men?” Another reporter asks, and it takes Jack a moment to realize that the reporter isn’t asking him. He’s asking the man who popped the question in the first place.

 All attention, including Jack’s, turns to the small blonde that got lost in the bundle of people. He holds up his mic towards the reporter who popped the question in the first place. 

Keep reading

NHL Bitty, Part II - Bitty v. Jack: Chirping

They live apart three-quarters of the year, their physical sex life is basically nonexistent, so Jack and Bitty have a lot of pent up energy and bring all of their problems to the ice because where else are they going to hash things out? It’s a good thing they don’t play each other often, because every Falconers v. Schooners game is a nightmare of awkward chirps, agressive hugging and sexual innuendo. It’s like the worst form of couples therapy imaginable. ESPN stops putting mics on them because they can’t edit enough out to make it appropriate.

___________

Bitty skates by, obviously furious at the call, but instead of turning on the linesman he hones in on Jack, snarling, “Seriously, a Ferrari? Trying to score some 80s side-action? I thought your whole thing was proving you aren’t your father.”

Bitty gets right up against him, pressing in tight but not moving to drop his gloves or grab at Jack’s jersey. They both know exactly what this is, and Jack pushes down the reflexive spike of want, grinning around his mouth guard.

“That’s rich coming from you – could you have purchased larger truck? Compensating for something, Itty Bitty?”

Bitty spits out his mouth guard. “After we kick your fucking ass, I’m going to take you home and remind you how ‘itty bitty’ I am.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time–”

“Enough. Save foreplay for bedroom.” Tater groans, yanking Jack away from his husband. 

Jack yells, “Are we still fighting?”

“Yes!” Bitty shouts, skating backwards to his own bench. “I hate your new publicist and fuck you for approving that photo where it looks like I have two chins.”

“Fight or fuck. You do neither and ruin both.” Tater mutters over the roar of the crowd. “How you married I do not understand.”

“We only play each other a few times a year. If we get all the tough shit out when we play, we can leave it on the ice.”

From across the ice, Bitty mouths ‘love you’ and Jack blows a kiss in return. Tater gags loudly. 

“That is not what ‘leave it on the ice’ supposed to mean, Zimmboni.”

6

The Saturday morning cartoon The Fake AH Crew!! 

A friendly gang of criminals set out to have a good time of fun in the nice city of Los Santos. This totally kids-friendly show takes the crew out on heists, things to do’s and simle play time to goof around. No swearing, no killing each other, no mugging, no raging anger and hatred and no one ever fucks up and ruins everything for the 104th time like somekind of asshole. nope. none at all.

During Jack and Bitty’s 2nd summer together...

So Jack is in Georgia for a couple of days, right, and he comes back from a morning run to find both Bittle parents in the kitchen eating breakfast (Bitty slowly dragging is ass out of bed, he can hear the bathroom upstairs). 

Suzanne greets him with a smile, Coach with a nod, Jack sits down to eat. Usually, there’s a fair amount of chatter- even without Bitty- because Jack is comfortable with both parents, but now they’re eating in silence. Throwing furtive glances at Jack. At each other. At Jack again.

Jack’s stars feeling the tingle in his fingers that announces his anxiety. He counts the seconds until Bitty leaves the bathroom- no, that was the sound of the shower. Alright then.

Suzanne places her mug back on the table.

- Jack, sweetheart, we need to talk to you.

Coach takes a sip of coffee and sits back straight.

- …Alright? says Jack.

- We’ve seen the way you look at Junior, says Coach in a matter-of-fact voice.


(more under the cut)

Keep reading

High school reunion AU for @zimmbitty who planted the idea in my head. I hope my loss sleep makes you happy.

-

An AU where Jack and Bitty happened to go to the same high school for maybe a year or two. (Here their age difference is around 3 years.)

How you ask? Coach is filling in temporarily maybe not as a Football coach but in some other position. It doesn’t matter *waves hands to misdirect from possible plot holes* just go with it…

Bitty is still into figure skating and in this high school, they have an actual ice skating ring in the premises!!!

And his skating lessons are usually before the hockey team plays. At first, he avoids the team but slowly realises they didn’t really care what he did so long as he left the ice on time.

Then Bitty started watching the practices and hockey looked kind of fun, (if you ignored the checking…) and maybe if he got into hockey he and Coach would have more stuff in common to talk about.

So one day after hockey practice is over, Bitty sneaks back into the ice with a broken hockey stick he found in the dumpster and put back together with duct tape and a flatted out can, and starts trying to get a hang of how the sport works.

Keep reading

New Old Captain

Read here on ao3 (x)

Lardo was hunched over her laptop working on a write up for her final art project and Ford was across the table from her, finalizing room assignments for the boys’ upcoming (and final) roadie, when the front door opened and a voice called out, “Hello?”

“Jack?” Lardo scrambled out of her chair and into the front hallway. Ford leaned over to save Lardo’s document, then slowly followed after her. She didn’t think she had met anyone on the team named Jack, but who else would be coming to the Haus? She ran through a mental roster of the team, but didn’t come up with anything.

She found Lardo wrapped up in what looked like the world’s comfiest hug with a man who had to be a foot taller than her, and if he wasn’t some sort of athlete, Ford would eat her rooming assignments. His arms, good lord.

“Who’s this, Ris?” He asked, catching sight of Ford.

“Ford, our new manager,” Lardo’s voice was muffled into his chest. “Ford, this is Jack. You should have told someone you were coming, Ransom and Holster made an extra practice today and everyone else is at the rink.”

Keep reading

  • Bitty: to make sure we don't rush into anything we will have to keep this relationship quiet. keep it on the down low
  • also bitty: Oh my god have you guys seen Jack? he is so good!!! why i'm going away for the weekend? ....hum a cousin? yeah i have a cousin whatever, LOOK AT THIS FUNNY VIDEO OF JA--tater!! i am so proud of my boy(s) y'all have grown so much jack is doing so well!!! i am so proud of him!!... yes Holster i am proud of you too - that's what i said i am proud of my boys! i'm gonna bake 30 maple sugar apple pies!!!! yes i did have a nice time this weekend. i just have a thing for dark haired men in suits and blue eyes and tall and cheek bones and i think my future boyfriend have to like sports but preferable hockey... I am an ass kind of man, i think. oh hey jack!!!
JACKSEPTICEYE FUNFACTFILE

all facts you see here have been seen or said in his videos. they all come from many different videos, so please don’t ask me for the source, because i won’t remember.  Also, some of these may be incorrect, dont kill me. i might update this post once in a while when i learn new things, but ah.

JACKSEPTICEYE FACTS:

  • Is only just below 5′10, making him shorter by Mark (5′9 and a half maybe?)
  • Despite being Irish, he hates getting drunk, but will drink cans or cups of beer sometimes during videos, usually the long one hour ones.
  • A while back, around the time when Jack was with his korean girlfriend, he wanted to move to Korea and be an English teacher for children.
  • He can still speak Korean.
  • Jack has a scar above his left eye where the football hit him (aka the septic eye), you can see it in his eyebrow.
  • Has a degree in hotel management, but studied sound design as well.
  • Around the age of 16-17, he went through the punk phase, meaning he got his ears pierced, listened to punk music, wore black, went to mosh pits, and even had his own band for a while.
  • Jack actually meant to get gauges a size smaller than 8mm, but the people at the piercing place told him no one was in that specialised in those piercing sizes and asked him if he wanted to a size higher (8mm) so he said “fuck it” and got them. The reason he still has the holes is because if you go 8mm and over, the holes won’t reseal.
  • Since Jack had to learn hotel management, he had to learn how to clean hotel rooms, in the correct order. (theres an order of what you have to clean first, apparently.)
  • Lost his virginity at the age of 16.
  • Has VERY dirty humor, but when getting on to the topic of sex in video games he gets very embarrassed.
  • Hasn’t smoked weed.
  • Jack was actually meant to get on Mark’s roof to do that “TOP OF THE MORNING TO YA LADDIES” in that one RYC of Mark’s, but Mark forgot about it so it never happened.
  • Played Bugsy Malone when he was younger. (just imagine bby jack trying to imitate a new yorker accent…)
  • Likes Simon Stalenhag’s artwork. (i agree, it’s really, really aesthetically pleasing.)
  • Doesn’t draw, but he owns a small drawing tablet from his Drawing Your Tweets series.
  • Despite having a fear of heights, as a child, Jack would climb up trees for HOURS, as in, he would climb up trees and then climb back down and repeat the whole process.
  • Does not like the idea of blood being taken out of his body, it creeps him out.
  • Might be allergic to cats. He says this because every time he touches a cat he starts sneezing a lot.
  • Is the youngest of five.
  • Seems to really like robots, he has said he really likes The Iron Giant or Wall-E, and gets really happy when he plays video games based on robots.
  • Really likes voice acting.
  • Had rlly chubby cheeks as a baby
  • If you look closely you can see that Jack’s mustache has a red tinge unlike his beard. 
  • Use to work out A LOT but stopped not long before he started youtube, little leprachaun had GAINS
  • Wishes he could be good at acting.
  • When Jack dressed up all nice n fancy for the SXSW gaming awards, he mentioned he actually has another suit he would have used, but went with the blue one instead. The other one was grey.
  • Buys a lot of childrens toys because he generally likes them and wants to own them. Usually most of the time he’ll see a toy in a window and be like “I want that.”
  • In 2014, Jack actually had a roommate named Killian, Killian was in a few videos, including this , this , and this. Killian eventually moved out.
  • Jack was given an opportunity to be apart of Youtube Rewind of 2015, but turned it down since he had things to do and didn’t have time to fly out to America.
  • Would like his own dog to have in the apartment.
  • Jack actually doesn’t have much of an Irish accent, it’s actually very, very subtle compared to other Irish accents. Like Ross, for example.
  • Jack is actually able to get his voice incredibly deep considering his natural voice, a lot of professional voice actors aren’t able to achieve that.
  • Wishes he can start working out again so he starts getting healthy again.
  • Jack is actually, believe it or not, not a whale biologist. I’m only putting this here because i fuckING THOUGHT HE WAS FOR A WHOLE YEAR.
  • Takes his coffee black with two sugars.
  • Jack’s actual reason why he doesn’t sleep other than thats it’s only for the weak, is that he really doesn’t see the point, he thinks that the time for sleeping could be used for better things. I also remember him mentioning once that since he’s in the same timezone as felix, some times he would skype felix and just talk to him. Idk whether he still does that. 
  • Has a silver tooth, whether it’s a filling or he was born w/ it, it’s there.
  • Had very dark pink hair around the same time when he started his punk phase, theres no photos of it unfortunately.
  • Jack doesn’t have his drivers license, he regrets not getting it when he had the chance because the rules in Ireland have become a lot more harder.
  • Since Jack doesn’t wear gauges anymore, instead he puts shit like clothes hangers, keychains, hand sanitizer clips, and even MORE stuff in the holes. 
  • Doesn’t have proper functional sweat glands. I always wondered why he didn’t seem so sweaty in vive videos or on panels. Instead he gets a rash.
  • In a video, Ian (Idubbz) asked Jack for some pubes.. and well, Jack did.
  • Was a fan of k-pop once, but that was a while back.
  • Hasn’t gotten sick in years.
  • HATED studying in music theory when he was in college
  • When he used to live in the cabin, by his house, there lived a little shetland pony that was in a video once.
  • Favorite birthday was his 7th, he even knew the presents he got were hand-me downs but recalls it to still be the best time.
  • Sometimes, Jack gets these awkward moments where if he walks through a doorway and it feels odd he’ll have to step through it again for it to be equal, same with when he balls one fist he has to ball the other.
  • Used to cut his own hair.
  • There is a vine of him which he filmed in college.
  • Here is a video of Jack voice-acting a detective saying a ton of puns for one of Robin’s animations
  • Has an awful gag reflex. Once stuck his thumb in his mouth and gagged.

Good Times. The first song we wrote for the record, it was the perfect cornerstone in the big picture. This song inspired the mood and tone of the entire album. We knew with the combination of guitars, rhythm and textural synths on Good Times, that we’d have the perfect backbone to build upon. It’s about moving on and letting go, acknowledging you’re ready to take an uncertain next step. You’re looking fondly back at where you’ve been, knowing it’s time to go somewhere new. There’s something both exciting and terrifying about standing at the edge of a necessary unknown.
Get the album at smarturl.it/atllyr and stay tuned for the rest of the track by track posts.

so heres The Official Highlight Post™ of the regional production of newsies i saw:

  • this davey did it the gayest
  • jack and davey made aggressive eye contact and sang to each other multiple times through out the show
  • davey mocked jacks mumble after “tell me how quitting does crutchie any good” and it was super gay
  • i can’t describe them but davey’s facial expressions during the scene before thats rich were amazing
  • the actor who played davey portrayed him as really anxious which i loved
  • davey looked terrified throughout the world will know and it was beautiful
  • when davey says “it’s good to have you back” he pulled jack aside and they got really close and stared into each others eyes for like 10 seconds before jack said “shut up” and then he punched him on the shoulder
  • jack gave davey a reassuring smile and nod before everyone left pulitzers office
  • the rally scene was so good. davey looked so hurt like he was almost on the verge of tears
  • during that scene after medda told davey she hadn’t seen jack the rest of the newsies started chanting daveys name
  • after davey said “newsies of new york” he looked around meddas theatre for a good 10 seconds with a scared yet proud look on his face before continuing
  • there were a lot of “what the hell are you doing looks” from davey to les
  • during seize the day davey pulled jack aside and held his arm and told him to talk to the other newsies
  • during once and for all the rest of the newsies were looking at the audience while jack and davey stared at each other and held each others arms
  • basically davey and jack were really gay
  • also the guy who played davey was so amazing and characterized so close to how i head canon him it  was amazing
  • spot and race hugged during the finale
  • race was a poc which was really cool and he was really good he portrayed him a super sarcastic i loved it
  • the guy who played henry was really hot so theres that
  • KATHRINE WAS AMAZING I LOVE HER
  • jack was so fucking good like i got goosebumps when he sang
  • the programs were actual newspapers
Model Behavior

Summary: Jack is getting ready to do a photo shoot for Alicia’s friend.  Bitty comes along to keep him company, when Bitty suddenly becomes the model. Jack’s reaction to the photo is… interesting.  A quick little ficlet which takes place during Jack’s senior year.  Also on AO3


Jack hated photo shoots. Absolutely hated them, but Alicia had a favor called in and he found himself in a position of not being able to say no. And so, begrudgingly, Jack Zimmermann was on his way to Boston for a one-day shoot.

“Like an actual shoot shoot?” Bitty asked wide-eyed as he told him about it over some ginger peach pie the evening before.

“Yeah. It’s for some clothing line. They’re going to dress me up like a puppet and then I have to stand there, and smile like an idiot.”

“I dunno, it sounds so fun to me. I’d love to model!” Bitty said then sighed, “Alas, I am vertically challenged.”

“Euh… do you want to come with me?” Jack asked pushing his pie around the plate with his fork.

“Really? And like watch?!” Bitty practically bounced off his seat.

“I guess so, Bittle. Don’t make me take it back.”

“No! I’ll behave. I promise! It’s going to be so much fun.”

+++

Keep reading

Quickly : Jack Maynard Smut

(y/n is really close with conor but one night when he’s asleep she goes into the bathroom to find his horny brother)


You and Conor first met on a tinder date. At first you really fancied him, and over the last few months you have both taken it slow but have gotten really close. You have both discussed your commitment issues and Conor totally agrees. You would love to be a in a relationship with Conor, you really would, but you love the freedom of being single. You were a very sexual person and so you have many one night stands. The first time you and Conor had sex was after a night out together – it was such an amazing feeling to finally relieve all of the sexual tension that had been building up between the two of you. Lets just say you honestly struggled to walk the next day.

To be honest, yours and Conor’s relationship was a bit complicated. You were basically together, but sometimes you did get with other people. It did annoy you when Conor had sex with other girls because you did really like him – the jealousy would always bubble through your body yet you couldn’t do anything about it as you also slept with other people.

You both agreed not to kiss anyone in front of each other to rub it in your/his face. Conor always got jealous, too. One time when he caught you kissing a guy at Joe’s party it totally went off – the guy left with a nose bleed.

However, one thing that you really struggled with was Jack fucking Maynard. Conor’s little brother was the most irritating shit you had ever met. He always knew how to get under your skin and how to piss you off. You have no idea why he decided to be a dick to you the moment he met you, but he always has and you’re sure he always will.

It started off with little digs and rude comments that did actually offend you, but as you spent more time with Conor you realised what his brother was actually like. His comments did not offend you nowadays and you would normally tend to say something back – leading to an argument.

Conor normally laughed at your little arguments with Jack, but sometimes when they got too personal he’d have to stop them. Jack knew exactly how to wind you up and you hated it.

You were sat in your London apartment watching some TV when your phone buzzed. It was Conor.

‘What you doing tonight? Xx’

‘I have nothing planned, why? Xx’

‘Wanna come out? Me and the boys xx’

‘Sure xx’

‘Good, get ready and meet us at ours in an hour? Xx’

‘An hour? I cant get ready in an hour!! X’

‘Well hurry then babe ;) xx’

You sighed and put your phone on the side. Walking to your wardrobe, you thought about what you were going to wear tonight. You didn’t even know where you were going – most probably a club.

1 hour and 23 minutes later, you were in an uber on the way to Conor’s. You had chosen to wear a simple black dress. But you were starting to doubt it as it was really tight and showed your chest off a lot. You had to keep pulling it up at the top.

You thanked your driver and stepped out of the car, buzzing the apartment you needed and making your way up. It was quite hard to walk in the shoes you were wearing as they were so high. When you walked in, all the boys were there.

“Hey Y/N!” Joe greeted you as he was the first one to see you.

“Hi!” You replied just as Conor spotted you. The music was up quite loud so it was no surprise that the others didn’t hear you come in.

“About time.” Conor laughed when he reached you, pressing a quick kiss to your lips and wrapping his arms around your waist. His hair was in it’s usual style and Conor was wearing a white t shirt under a black leather jacket along with some black ripped skinny jeans.

“I’m only like 20 minutes too late!” You defended yourself, snaking your arms up around Conor’s neck.

“Mmh whatever.” He hummed and kissed you again. He lightly pushed you up against the front door as the kiss got more intense and that’s when you had to pull away, shooting him a warning look to say not in front of his friends.

“Can we go now? Oh hi Y/N!” Caspar said, sending a small wave to you.

“Hi Casp.” You smiled.

“Right, lets go then.” Conor said quickly before grabbing your hand and opening the door.

“What is up with you?” You asked Conor as you were walking back down the steps of his apartment block.

“Nothing. You just look really good tonight.” He grinned, tightening his grip on your hand.

-

When you all finally got to the club, Jack insisted that everyone does shots. You all sat in the corner around a large table, of course you were next to Conor. Jack arrived to the table with a tray full of shots as everyone cheered and took one.

Throwing your head back, you downed the shot quickly. The alcohol burned your throat and you pulled a disgusted face. Everyone sat at the table for a while, enjoying their drinks.

“I wanna look for some girls.” Jack told everyone as he slammed his empty cup down on the table.

“Of course you do.” You snorted, not thinking he would hear. But when you saw his eyes connect with yours as he pulled an evil look, you knew he had heard you.

“Excuse me?” Jack asked.

“Nothing.” You smiled sarcastically at him. You felt Conor’s hand go to your thigh.

“Didn’t think so, slag.” Jack replied.

“What the fuck did you call me?” You felt yourself getting more and more angry at him as he sat there with a smug look plastered across his face.

“Oh, you didn’t hear me? I called you a slag.”

“Says you?! Jack you have slept with way more people than I have so I don’t really think you’re in a position to call me a slag.” You argued back, taking a sip of your wine.

“All I’m saying is I know a slag when I see one.” He put his hands up, trying to look innocent.

“And all I’m saying is you’re a dick head. Go find a girl then, like you wanted.” You said to him, wanting nothing more than for him to go away.

“I’d rather stay here and piss you off.” He grinned. For a second, you almost smiled back. You hated yourself for it – but you secretly found Jack very attractive, and when he grins at you like this it makes your heart melt a little.

“Right, well you two can stay here and argue but I’m going to have a good time.” Conor announced as he finished his drink.

You hadn’t even noticed, but everyone else had gone to dance. Conor got up, pressed a kiss to your cheek and went to join the others on the dance floor. For some reason, Jack scooted closer to you on the seat.

“Notice how he didn’t even defend you? Because he knows you’re a slag.” Ouch. Jack’s words hurt you a lot, but you wouldn’t let him know that.

“Shut up.” You mumbled, feeling yourself becoming weaker in this argument.

“You know I’m right. It’s why he doesn’t want you to be his girlfriend,” Jack came even closer. “He just wants you to stick around so he can have sex on tap.”

“Fuck off, Jack, seriously.” You sighed.

“I’m his brother, so I would know.” He added, placing a hand on your thigh which suddenly made your breathing increase.

“You’re just trying to wind me up. Stop.” You replied, pushing his hand off and turning to try and locate Conor. Your heart dropped when you spotted him, dancing very intimately with a brunette. You quickly looked away, knowing that they’ll be kissing any time soon and you didn’t want to put yourself through that.

“See? He doesn’t fucking want you.” Jack growled, his lips so close to your ear. You felt so fucking hurt, the alcohol and Jack’s words were really getting to you and you hated it.

Suddenly, you felt Jack’s lips against your neck. This is the last thing that you had expected to happen. As he kissed and nipped at your skin with his soft lips, your eyes fluttered closed and you felt yourself biting down onto your bottom lip. This was Conor’s younger brother doing this – and you suddenly felt super guilty when you felt your underwear getting damp.

“Jack,” You breathed. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Jack pulled away from you and you almost whined at the loss of contact. He stared at you for a few seconds with no expression, just blinking. You didn’t know what the hell he was thinking but you weren’t sure if you wanted to know.

“I just came over to say that if I were you two, I wouldn’t be doing that. Conor is just over there.” You looked up to see Joe, drink in his hand and a concerned look on his face.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, mate.” Jack replied as he stood to his feet.

“Just saying.” Joe replied, holding his hands up as though he was defending himself.

-

The night was coming to an end and you all made your way out the uber. After your little incident with Jack, you decided to spend the night with Josh and Joe, downing lots more shots and dancing like idiots. They both made you laugh a lot, helping the fact that Conor was in the corner busy with another girl. Thankfully, Conor climbed into the uber by himself.

“Hey babe.” He slurred, pressing a sloppy kiss to your cheek.

You almost wanted to push him away. But you remembered the rules, Conor wasn’t doing anything wrong and you weren’t in a relationship. Jack’s words came back to you, stinging a little. As the uber had to fit all of you in, it was kind of like a mini bus and so you had to sit opposite someone. Unlucky for you, you were sat opposite Jack.

“Had a good night?” Conor asked you, rubbing your thigh.

“Yeah it was alright. You?” You replied, sending him a small smile.

“Really?” Jack snorted, interrupting your conversation with Conor. “Of course he did, did you see him with that girl? Mate, she was a solid nine out of ten!”

As Conor laughed at his brothers words, you felt yourself doubting your relationship with Conor more and more – but that was the thing, you Conor weren’t in a relationship. Maybe it was just Jack messing with you tonight or it was your true feelings coming out because you were drunk. You’ll just have to see how you feel about the situation in the morning.

“Stay over?” Conor asked you as the uber was nearing his, Jack and Josh’s apartment block. “Please?”

“OK.” You agreed.

Even though your head was a mess right now, the chance to have sex with Conor was something you’d never turn down. That boy was amazing in bed, you could not get enough. He laced your fingers together and smiled at you when you agreed.

It was a nice feeling to finally get home (to Conor’s) after the club. You had no idea what the time was and you were still feeling a bit drunk. When you all got inside, you immediately went to Conor’s room and got out of your clothes, throwing on a t shirt of his and leaving your legs bare – his t shirt came down to your mid thighs anyway.

You went and joined the three boys in the living room where they were eating a cold pizza from dinner. Josh and Jack were sat on the sofa and Conor was laying down on the rug, next to the coffee table as he was munching on a slice of pizza.

“Is Conor alright?” You laughed, noticing how drunk he actually was.

“Think he’s had a few too many shots tonight.” Josh replied as you took a slice of pizza.

You looked over at Jack – instantly regretting it. Even though he had his phone up in front of him, as though he was on it, his eyes were on you. He looked up and down your body before his tongue poked out, swiping across his bottom lip.

Not only did this make your cheeks go bright red, but it also sent wondrous feelings straight to your core. You tried to ignore Jack as you all finished up the pizza, just scrolling through your phone and watching the TV.

The time was 2:34 when Conor picked himself up off the floor and announced he was going to bed. You almost sighed at the fact that Conor was clearly too drunk to have sex tonight. You probably should have just gone home instead of agreeing to stay round.

“I’m also going to head. Night you guys.” Josh spoke up and you Jack both replied saying good night to him.

About ten minutes had passed and you had had enough of the tension within the room. You wanted to ask Jack why he kissed your neck earlier, but you had a strong feeling he was just trying to mess with you. With a sigh, you got up and headed off to the bathroom to brush your teeth, leaving Jack alone.

You shut the door of the bathroom, not bothering to lock it as you never did. You decided to quickly style your hair into a single French plait before bed, helping yourself for tomorrow. You wiped all your make up off of your face and quickly cleansed it, using a face scrub that was there.

When you started to brush your teeth, the door flew open, revealing Jack in nothing but his boxers.

“What are you doing? I’m using the bathroom.” You told him, having to take the tooth brush out of your mouth.

“Well, you’re taking too long and I need to brush my teeth too.” He replied.

“You’re so annoying.” You rolled your eyes at him, carrying on brushing your teeth.

However, when Jack leaned over to grab his toothbrush, you felt something hard poke into your ass. Your eyes widened when you came to realisation that Jack had a hard on.

“Jack!” You squealed.

“What? It’s not my fault.” He shrugged.

“Well, it is your fault.” You replied.

“No it’s not.”

He leaned into your again, his hard member poking into your ass once again. It was kind of turning you on a little bit – OK, a lot.

“Stop pressing it into me, seriously.” You warned him.

“You’re the one taking up all the room, I can’t get to the sink.” He pointed out, gesturing to the fact that you were in front of him.

“I was here first!” You defended yourself.  You felt Jack’s hand go to the bottom of the shirt you were wearing, pulling it up a little so that your ass was now on show. “What the fuck?”

“I didn’t mean to do that.” He lied, grinning a little bit as he leaned into you more.

He knew exactly what he was doing. He was teasing you – and it was working.

“Jack, what are you doing?” You turned round so that you were fully facing him now, he looked good. His hair was now messy, his bare chest and stomach was exposed which was possibly the hottest thing you had ever seen and his length was so visible as it was straining against his boxers.

“Nothing, why?” He replied, ignoring the fact that his hard cock was against your ass.

“Can you please get rid of that, or do something!” You groaned.

“How am I supposed to get rid of it? It’s not like I can do anything with you in the room.” He defended.

“At least stop pressing it into me.”

When you turned around, trying to carry on with your teeth, you felt Jack’s hands on your hips.

“Unless you wanna help me out a bit.” He mumbled into your ear.

“Are you serious? You’re Conor’s little brother and he’s literally in the room over there. Don’t be ridiculous.” You replied quickly, even though a huge part of you wanted to say yes – you were aching for him at this point, literally soaked.

“Shame. Would have loved to take you right here against the kitchen sink. So fucking hard for you right now, Y/N…” Jack groaned out, pressing his hard on into you once again.

This was when you almost lost it. His words went straight to your core, and you pressed back into him, hoping to get some friction between your legs. Fucking the little brother of the guy you were seeing was such a hot concept to you, and you were so fucking horny right now.

“Fine!” You gave in, dropping your toothbrush in the sink.

“Fine?” Jack repeated, sending you a questioning look in the mirror.

“You can fuck me quickly.” You clarified, grabbing the sides of your underwear and pulling them down your legs before pulling your – Conor’s – t shirt up.

You put one leg up onto the counter, allowing Jack to have a better access to your soaked pussy. You felt his fingers go your exposed slit, collecting your wetness.

“Fucking hell, see how wet you are for me. You’ve always wanted me to fuck me, haven’t you? You’re so dirty.”

You ignored his words as he pulled his length out of his boxers, pumping himself a little before pushing himself into you. His actions made you hiss at the feeling, trying to get used to his size. Both of his hands went to your bare ass, one of them slapping down onto the exposed skin.

As Jack slammed in and out of you, you couldn’t help but watch the scene unfold in the mirror in front of you. Jack’s eyes were screwed shut and he was biting down onto his bottom lip. What a sight.

The fact that you were in the bathroom, being fucked by his little brother than actually laying in bed with Conor right now made you feel a bit guilty. But the pleasure was too good for you to care right now.

Going on birth control was one of the best things that you had decided to do as the feeling of Jack’s bare cock against your skin was amazing. He started to hit your g-spot with every thrust and you had to refrain from moaning out. His grip on your ass was getting tighter and tighter but it felt good.

You gripped onto the sides of the sink as Jack roughly thrusted in and out of your soaked pussy. You copied Jack, biting down onto your lip to try and stop yourself from moaning. When the pleasure got too intense, you felt yourself draw blood from your own lip.

“Y/N, babyyyyy…” Jack moaned, keeping a good rhythm with his hips as he fucked you from behind.

“Oh my god.” You breathed out, trying your absolute hardest to stay quiet.

You felt one of Jack’s hands creep up your t shirt and take one of your breasts in his hand, squeezing before roughly massaging. This only added to the pleasure and you loved the feeling of Jack touching your body. He knew exactly how to handle a woman and it only excited you more. For a second you found yourself wishing that it was Jack you went on that first tinder date with a not Conor.

You didn’t think the sex could feel any better until Jack’s hand left your chest and went to your clit, rubbing his fingers over the skin at an impressive pace. This was when you really struggled to stay quiet.

“Fuck, Jack, oh…” You moaned quietly, even though you really wanted to scream out his name so everyone could hear.

“Conor could never fuck you as good as this, could he?” Jack asked. When you didn’t reply, his hand slapped your ass again before repeating himself, “Could he?”

“N-no.” You stuttered out, your whole body moving with Jack’s as he picked up the pace.

“Baby I’m-.”

Jack calling you baby honestly made your heart melt. You knew exactly what he was going to say as you felt his thrusts getting sloppy before you felt a warm liquid running down the back of your leg. He continued to move in and out of you a few more times, patiently waiting for you to finish.

As Jack continued to work faster on your clit, you felt yourself high your high as your orgasm washed over you. Keeping your mouth shut, you let out a small cry as it was the most intense orgasm a man has ever given you.

“Oh my god, Jack.” You breathed out when he pulled out of you.

You turned around so you were now facing him again. His eyes looked tired and his cheeks were flushed red.

“Thank you.” He said to you as he tried to catch his breath.

You smiled before stepping towards him and pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. Jack’s eyes fluttered closed and savoured this moment with you. You felt your stomach do flips as Jack wrapped his arms around your waist, deepening the kiss. And that’s when you knew which Maynard you really wanted to be with.

kingdomunderthesea  asked:

Hey guys, my name's Liza and I'm from Australia! I was at your Melbourne show and it was fucking awesome !!!! I love you guys, anyway, i was wondering what is the most useless talent you have? p.s i really miss full frontal, that was my go to for news and now i have no idea what is happening in the world

when people come to our signings I am really good pointing out people who are related and dont look related. I cant figure out a way to monetize this. - JACK

A zimbits Fic

Check, Please! (In the restaurant sense. Not the hockey sense)

Pairing: Zimbits

Jack Zimmermann just wants to impress his boyfriend. Too bad he tried way too hard and Bitty doesn’t really know how to handle it. It’s a good thing milkshakes fix everything.

The restaurant is gorgeous. It’s absolutely breathtaking. It’s everything that Eric expected from a fancy restaurant, but Christ Almighty it’s the most expensive establishment Eric’s ever set foot in.

“Sweetpea, you didn’t tell me it was going to be this fancy! I would have worn something nicer!” Eric whispers to Jack as their waiter escorts them to their table. Their table that Jack reserved for them weeks in advance! Jack had literally been planning this date for months and Eric was so awed by his dedication that he didn’t bother to look up the restaurant beforehand. It’s obvious now that he should have.

“You look great, Bits, trust me. I think you’re dressed appropriately. They haven’t kicked us out yet, eh?.” Jack says and the corners of his lips turn up into just about the sweetest smile Eric’s ever seen. Eric would swoon if he didn’t know that Jack was only saying that because he was trying to be a good boyfriend. Eric compares his outfit, the same suit he’s worn to every formal event since he was eighteen, to Jack’s outfit, a sleek brand-new tailored suit that probably cost 10 times as much as Eric’s. There’s really no comparison, Eric is under-dressed.

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||❥ artistic (nsfw)

j u n ! s c e n a r i o

Originally posted by minyoangi

queued.

word count: 2,143

genre: ohohoho it’s more nsfw filth.

click below the cut to find out what is included. just a lil heads up sub!junhui is comin ur way u’ve been warned i’m already packing my things n heading into the ozark mountains.

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Questions NEVER Explained in Samurai Jack Season Five.

1. Why did it take only 1 day for all of the side characters to find Aku’s lair when Jack couldn’t find it in fifty years?

2. Why didn’t Jack go and find Aku’s lair and kill him in the first place and then find a time portal?

3.Who was the shadowed lady creature and why was she important in episode six?

4. Why do Jack’s parents look young when they looked old and worn down in the first episode?

5. Why did the Spartan King look young when he looked old and sickly in season 2 episode 12?

6. Why did Ashi take so long to fade out of existence?

7. Why was the Scotsman and his daughters glanced over when he was the most important ally and friend to Jack before Ashi?

8. What happened to the wolf?

9. Why didn’t the High Priestess tell her daughters or Aku who their true father was?

10. Why can’t Jack jump good anymore?

11. Who was the High Priestess

12. Why didn’t Jack try to get his sword in the past if it was easy to just get a giant bird to fly down, get help from one of his friends or even jump good?

13. If Ashi easily survived the fall over a hundred feet in the air from the tree trunk, why didn’t her other sister who was just tossed over the side by Jack?

14. Is Ashi gone forever or did she go somewhere else?

15. Can Jack age again or is he still ageless?

16. Where’s the cricket girl?

17. If it was that easy to just kill Aku rather than entrap him, why did Jack’s father trap Aku in a tree rather than just kill him?

18. Is Aku really dead or just in the pit of hate?

19. Why didn’t the High Priestess just tell Aku of her plan and include him in currupting the Daughters of Aku to kill Jack in the first place?

20. Why didn’t Aku keep spying on Jack?

21. How could Aku not know that Jack lost his sword if he kept close ties with his minions and could spy on Jack whenever he wanted?

22. Why was Jack wearing a loin cloth in episode six when he wore pants in episode five?

23. Why was the finale only 25 minutes long instead of an hour long or split into two parts like the pilot episode?

24. How does Jack remember Ashi and the future if it never happened because he killed Aku in the past?

25. Will Jack ever get Ashi back in some way?

26. How could Jack get back to the past with Ashi’s help if she never even existed after he killed Aku before she was even born? Wouldn’t that mean he didn’t really get back at all?

27. Why didn’t the Daughters of Aku have any powers if they’re really his daughters?

28. Are there two versions of Jack now since Aku was killed in the past and now there’s a new future without Aku? If that’s the case, what happens to the second version of Jack who was sent into the new future?

29. What happened to the Guardian? Why didn’t he get a flashback in the season? 

30. Did the future really change into a new reality or did it just become an alternate reality? Can Jack travel between the two realities? Are there two versions of Jack living in both realities or just one?

31. Can Aku come back like last time?

32. If the future characters would never exist when Jack got back to the past, why would he sometimes give up his chance to go back just to save people who won’t even be born at all?

33. If the people who were loyal to Jack and learned from Ashi that he might be in danger, why didn’t they go out looking for him too?

34. Did Ashi send the ladybug to Jack

35. Why were six of the seven daughters of Aku easily killed off by Jack in less than a day in their second fight when Ashi slaughtered an entire army with thousands of soldiers and her own mother in that same time pattern alone?

36. Why didn’t the Scotsman look for Jack to attack Aku’s lair in the first place instead of taking Aku on with an inadequate army?

37. Why did the wolf help Jack?

38. Is Jack still crazy?

39. Was the High Priestess really human?

40. Did Jack hallucinate the whole battle and going back home?

If you have any questions to add to this list, please be my guest. If you can answer any of these questions, good luck with that. If  you do answer these questions, then you must have worked on the show somehow and you have a lot of explaining to do for the bitch slap you left on my face with the last episode and for not answering these questions in the show in the first place.

On History and Dinner

Summary: A non athletic!Jack fic, where grad student and history nerd, Jack Zimmermann meets the cute Samwell student/baker Eric Bittle at the Bread and Butter Bakery.  Picks up right after On History and Pie.  Jack takes a chance and meets Bitty for dinner. It’s their first date.  A collaboration with the wonderful @zim-tits​ featuring her lovely artwork. Also on AO3

Bitty was closing up shop for the evening at Bread and Buttery Bakery when he heard a small tap. Lardo smiled as she looked through the large picture window and saw who was standing on the other side.

“It’s your boy, Bitty,” she said.

He glanced and saw Jack standing outside as he waved shyly.

Chowder unlocked and opened the door. “Welcome! Come on in.”

“Thanks,” Jack said as he came in slowly, looking at Bitty with a soft smile.

Bitty closed the register and smiled in return as he walked from behind the counter toward Jack.

“Hi, Jack.”

“Hi, Eric. Bitty.”

The two wordlessly stared at one another, smiling. Lardo, taking pity on them, cleared her throat, “Uh, Chowder, can you help me with something in back?”

Chowder frowned disappointed he wasn’t going to be able to watch.

“Sure, Lardo.”

“You came,” Bitty said. “Thanks for that. Thanks for trusting me.”

“My uncle says… well, never mind, but I’m the one that should be saying thanks – for the shortbread. It was really good.”

“Really good? I was aiming for so amazing it would make you wanna slap your mama but then again, I’m sure you love your mama, so really good will do.”

Jack laughed softly, “I do. So, are you… that is… if you’re still interested…”

“Jack, would you like to go grab something to eat?”

Jack smiled, relieved that Bitty had taken the lead.

“Yes, I’d like that.”

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I Know Now

Zimbits || ~5′700 words || Gen. Rating || AU || AO3

The team members who take Psychology, Biology and Politics of Food start up a study group, but it’s less of a study group, and more of a trying-to-set-Jack-and-Bitty-up group.

“Hey, Jack,” Bitty says brightly as he enters the living room with his textbook balanced under one arm, and his other holding a tray of freshly made brownie.

“Hey, Bittle,” Jack replies, already sitting on a chair with his books open on the coffee table.

Bitty puts his stuff down next to Jack’s, taking care with the tray of food. He lifts his arm to let the textbook thunk down on the ground.

“Where is everyone?” He asks Jack, sitting beside his fallen textbook.

“Shitty’s stuck talking to his thesis advisor. Lardo’s got a project due tomorrow. Chowder says he can’t make this week. No idea about Holster or Nursey,” Jack rattles off.

“So, just us then?”

“Just us,” Jack confirms.

It’s the second week in a row that has happened.

-

Bitty sits on a cushion on the floor by the coffee table, sipping occasionally from a mug of tea, and refreshing his twitter frequently. The others should be here for the study group by now. He reluctantly opens his textbook, figuring he should use the time to study even if no-one’s here to help him figure out the biology side of this week’s class.

He’s two pages in when the front door opens. Bitty looks up, eager for company.

“Jack! Hey.” Bitty smiles and waves at him.

“Sorry I’m late. Class went overtime.”

Jack sits down on the green couch, rolling his eyes when Bitty gives him a look. “Stop worrying about this thing.”

“Jack, it’s infested,” Bitty insists immediately.

“You don’t know that,” Jack replies.

“And you don’t not know that.”

Jack just shakes his head and takes out his own textbook and exercise book. “Did you do the extra reading this week?” he asks Bitty.

Bitty senses the topic divergence, but goes along with Jack anyway. It’s not the first time they’ve argued over the couch, and it won’t be the last.

“I did not,” Bitty answers. “But I printed it out.”

“Not quite the same thing. I’ll summarise it for you.”

Bitty smiles at Jack gratefully. “Thank you.”

-

The fourth time it happens, Bitty makes Jack move into the kitchen.

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