you look like a noodle

whovianerisa  asked:

Hello Mr gaiman. How old were you when you started writing stories ? I'm 14 and I try and try but they are all awful. I always give up in the middle and I can never finish what I wanted to write.

I know. I found a pile of papers of mine from my teen years and into my early twenties recently, and there were so many stories begun, so many first pages of novels never written. I’d start them, and then I’d give up because they weren’t as brilliant as Ursula K Le Guin, or Roger Zelazny, or Samuel R Delany, and anyway I wasn’t actually sure what happened next.

I was around 22 when I started finishing things. They weren’t actually very good, and they all sounded like other people, but the finishing was the important bit. I kept going. A dozen stories and a book, and then I sold one (it wasn’t very good, and I had to cut it from 8,000 words to 4,000 to sell it, but I sold it). I probably wrote another half-dozen stories over the next year, and sold three. But now they were starting to sound like me. 

Think of it this way: if you wanted to become a juggler, or a painter, you wouldn’t start jugggling, drop something and give up because you couldn’t juggle broken bottles like Penn Jillette, or start a few paintings then give up because the thing in your head was better than what your hands were getting onto the paper. You carry on. You learn. You drop things. You learn about form and shape and shade and colour and how to draw hands without the fingers looking like noodles. You finish things, learn from what you got right and what you got wrong, and then you do the next thing.


And one day you realise you got good. It takes as long as it takes. So keep writing. And all you need to do right now is try to finish things.

2

Judging by the looks of the sketch and colored art, it looks like this is taking place on a group picture with the whole band. And it looks like Cyborg Noodle is part of it. If you look closely on the colored picture, you could see 2D and Murdoc in the background. In the second picture, Russel is probably standing behind Noodle. Plus, both Noodle’s are wearing different outfits and their smiles are different.

5

so i realised I had never drawn all four gorillaz before, and I ended up doing this. I may have mixed phases more than once here - I just chose whatever design i liked best for each of them.

please don’t tag as kin/id/etc

The year is 1999. Gorillaz is sitting in the living room, having a slight disagreement.

2D: “She looks most like me, I think.”
Murdoc: “No. No!”
Russel: “They have the same face shape and similar hair.”
Murdoc: “You’ve got it all wrong, mate! Noodle looks most like me, so I should be the one to go to her PTA meetings, at least until the adoption is finalized! It’d make it more believable, ya know? Make people less inclined to be nosy and annoying.” *grabs Noodle and holds her close* “Look at us! Similar skin tones, only a few shades off from each other! We’ve both got dark hair! And—most importantly—we’ve both got pupils. Neither of you can say that. See? She looks the most like me!”
Noodle: *immediately bursts into tears*

GUYS‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

THE GORILLAZ APP FINALLY UPDATED AND YOU GET TO GO TO THE BASEMENT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

IT’S REALLY COOL AND THERE’S CODES AND STUFF AND IT’S REALLY WEIRD BUT SO AWESOME‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

I WON’T GIVE AWAY THE WHOLE THING, BUT IT’S SERIOUSLY CRAZY‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

HOLY SHIT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

Kill you/Cinnamon rolls

Looks like they could kill you but is a cinnamon roll: Russel

Looks like they could kill you and could actually kill you: Murdoc

Looks like a cinnamon roll but could kill you: Noodle

Looks like a cinnamon and is actually a cinnamon roll: 2D

Could kill you by feeding you too many cinnamon rolls: Del

3

Ai Ai Gasa

 An umbrella with the names of the couple as a symbol of love  (´▽`)♡

(tysm @vashtijoy for your help ;-;)

Arm day

. The only day it actually looks like you worked out. By lunch they’ll be noodles again.

based on this

I keep finding abandoned draw the squad memes in my folders wh y

you can tell I’ve lost all motivation while drawing this .___.’

gajeel buddy I’m pretty sure u picked the wrong target

anonymous asked:

2/d Reacts to his s/o hearing murdoc say something mean to him and they then come in to see what all the fuss is about and they use their silver tongue to get reallyyy close to the angry pickle before turning and RKO'ing him straight onto the linoleum.

A/N: i write this with tears in my eyes


  • Everyone was already sitting somewhere in the kitchen, eating whatever they could find for breakfast when you woke up. The yelling coming from the kitchen woke you up, and you could instantly recognize 2D and Murdoc’s voices going at each other.
  • You lazily make your way into the kitchen, hearing Murdoc in the middle of insulting 2D, “Mate, you sound like a sodding dying seal in bed, I’m tired of hearing that shit every night.”
  • 2D purses his lips sheepishly for a moment before opening his mouth to speak but your voice cuts him off, “At least he can get some. ”
  • Silence passes over everyone. 2D looks at the two of you nervously, sweat forming on his forehead, Noodle glances up at you two from sipping her tea, and Russel looks up from his newspaper at Murdoc who is utterly speechless. 
  • His mouth hangs open for a moment before the two of you engage in an intense verbal battle, spitting exaggerated insults at each other.
  • “The garbage truck came by this morning, you missed your ride.”
  • “You smell like rusty coins, when was the last time you took a bath?”
  • “At least I take a bath.”
  • “Yeah, like once a year. You always smell like rat poison.”
  • 2D, Noodle, and Russel look back and forth between you two as you insult each other in any way possible. Murdoc insults you pretty badly and you hold your hands up in defeat, turning to walk away. He thinks he’s won, until you come back at him at full force, grabbing his shoulders to throw him onto the floor.
  • “Oh shit,” Noodle and Russel get up from their seats, peering over the table to see if he was alive. You huff and grab 2D’s arm before leaving the kitchen.
  • Murdoc slowly rises from the floor, Noodle and Russel exchange a quick glance before they begin roasting him.
  • “Boi, you sleep with a fucking shower curtain, you dusty ass.”
  • “You put lettuce in the blender and drink that shit for breakfast.”


fin uwu

this isn’t meant to be taken seriously lmao

a concept: every now and then the bandmembers roast the shit out of murdoc, just for fun probably while getting high together we all saw that cannabis in the kitchen

totally inspired by those instagram roast videos by @mikedafool 

Undeserving Part 1 (Auston Matthews)

Song: “No Promises” - Shawn Mendes

“Luke told me today he’d still take you if you want to go” your friend Cassidy looked over her shoulder from her spot in front of the mirror outside of the dressing room.

“No” you shook your head eyes glued to your phone.

“You’re talking to him?” She questiond moving the dress around to fit her shape better.

“When isn’t she talking to him.” Your other friend malia mocked two dresses in her hand.

“Actually.” You spoke finally looking up. “I’m talking to his mom.”

Your two friends exchanged looks and smiled “She’s in with the whole family now.” Malia nudged Cassidy to take the dresses out of her hands who laughed along with her.

“Yep.” You glared at them not really bothered but blushing nonetheless.

“(y/n) we’re just joking, how’s auston?” Cassidy asked as she returned to he dressing room and malia took a seat next to you.

“He’s good.“you simply replied noticing a text from his mom to confirm all of your flight information.

“That’s it.” Malia asked trying to look over your shoulder. “You'be been talking, no practically dating for over a year and that’s all we get.” You shrugged not wanting to tell them because as much as you loved them, you knew they wouldn’t understand.

“I don’t believe it.” Malia snatched your phone out of your hands and moved so you couldn’t get it back.

“Malia!” You snipped trying to get your phone back.

“You talked on the phone for 2 hours and 45 minutes.”

It started with him snapchatting you after a particularly bad game. Then he claimed the only way he’d feel better is if he heard your voice which lead to you talking on the phone. Talking to Auston was always simple so it was easy for you both to loose track of time and talk for longer than anticipated. Even if the conversation was innocent enough that didn’t stop your parents from teasing you the next morning when you walked into the kitchen with bags under your eyes and only an hour of sleep in your system. After you got off the phone with Auston you couldn’t go to sleep, you were way too happy to. So you layed in bed for the rest of the night looking up at the ceiling.

“Stop.” You pouted embarrassed by the length of time.

“Does he know about your surprise?” Cassidy shouted from the dressing room.

“Nope he still thinks I’m going with Luke.”

“That’s sweet. Invite me to the wedding.” Malia joked.

You laughed “I have to be his girlfriend before I’m his wife.”

“Seriously if he doesn’t ask you out soon I’m going to beat him up.” Malia was completely serious.

“I don’t think you’re going to hurt him, but okay.”

“Hey don’t miss judge these babies.” She said pointing to her biceps. “They have a reputation.”

“For what looking like noodles?” You laughed as Cass came out dress in hand.

“Shut up, I’ve punched someone before.”

“Yeah me in kindergarten” You stood gathering your purse. “But that didn’t exactly hurt.”

“You cried.” Malia pointed out standing as well. You both followed Cassidy to the register.

“That’s because not even five minutes later your brother ran over my foot with a scooter because you told him to.”

“Oh yeah those we’re the good old times.”

“Hey, don’t say that we weren’t friends yet.” Cass reprimanded pulling out her credit card and handing it over to the cashier.

“Fine.” You ended your conversation just as Cass was handed her bag and her credit card back.

“Let’s eat.” She smiled leading the way to her car. You stopped at a Burgatory before heading home to do some last minute packing.

“You have everything you need?” Your mom asked standing in the doorway of your room.

“Mhm, everything except-”

“Except the sweatshirt he gave you, it’s in the dryer.” Your mother knew the one thing you wouldn’t leave that house without.

Auston had given you one of his old sweatshirts during the summer a year ago when you were at a bonfire at his house. You had worn jean shorts and a tanktop forgetting a sweatshirt at home, but Cassidy assured you it wouldn’t get that cold and there would be blankets. Oh how wrong she was. It was freezing by the time the sun set and you didn’t even want to think about sitting outside. That’s when Auston offered you his sweatshirt from when he was 15 and played on a travel team. Matthews was on the back along with the number 19 and on the front his teams name. You stayed warm the whole night getting lost in both the sweatshirt and the way Auston played with your fingers as you sat on his lap a blanket draped over the two of you.

“Thanks mom.” You smiled zipping up your suitcase. It was hard to convince your parents to let you go see Auston especially since they wouldnt be going and you weren’t dating. But after showing that you’d pay for all your expenses including the plane ticket and that it would only be for the weekend they agreed.

“Just make him your boyfriend soon, that’ll be thanks enough.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” You laughed as she placed a kiss on your head.

Mrs. Matthews picked you up at 3:30 in the morning to get to the airport. The car ride was a comfortable silence due to the fact that you weren’t truly awake yet. She helped you out of the car and into the airport leading the way to the gate you needed to be at for your 5:30 flight.

“Are you excited?” She asked as you both sat side by side.

“Very.” You nodded taking a sip of your coffee.

“He’s excited too. He even went to bed earlier so you’d get there sooner.”

You laughed butterflies taking over your stomach. “I’m excited for his birthday.”

“Me too. I’m going to need you to distract him during the say so I can make him a birthday dinner.” Ema explained her plan taking a sip of her own coffee.

“Whatever you say boss.” You smiled as she nuged your side laughing.

Your flight number was called and you boarded for the first of two. It went very smoothly considering you only went to California for your layover. The second was more difficult. A women had her two newborns with her and they wouldn’t stop crying. The poor women was clearly overwhelmed and panicking. That’s when Ema stood up and politely took one of the babies out of her arms and began bouncing back and fourth not too long after one of the cries stopped.

“Here.” She said handing you the baby “keep bouncing him.” You did as directed while cooing at the small bundle in your arms. She took the second from the women and did the same silencing the cries. The women was so happy she looked like she could’ve cried.

“Both Alex and Auston were like this.” She told you. “It took everything in me not to start crying myself.”

You held the babies for the rest of the flight allowing the mother to get some sleep and giving the rest of the plane an easier flight.

“Goodbye handsome.” You cooed to the baby in your arms before placing him in the stroller.

“Thank you again.” The women smiled brightly at Ema as you all three moved through the airport toward the exit doors.

“My kids were the same way. It just takes practice and patience.” She advised.

“Is this your daughter?” She looked from Ema to you.

“One day hopefully, but right now she’s my son’s girlfriend.” Your heart jumped that’s the first time anyone has referred to you as Auston’s girlfriend. You knew it was just because it was easier then explaining the whole situation, but still.

“Well I hope you both have a wonderful time here thank you again.” The women smiled one last time before directing the stroller out. You followed suit toward the car Ema had rented. Auston’s game would start soon so you had no time to stop by his apartment. You changed into his jersey in the car and fixed your hair and makeup as well.

“Ready?” Ema asked as she parked the car. You nodded the fact that you were actually here starting to sink in.

“There’s Auston.” She pointed him out on the ice for warmups. Even if she hadn’t pointed him out you would’ve known which one he was from the build.

When the game got underway you were completely focused on number 19. Auston scored twice and both times you cheered loud. The final score was 2-4 and you knew a win would mean a happier Auston. You followed Ema to where you came in and waited patiently for your guy.

You’d wish someone would’ve taken a picture of Auston’s face when he saw you because it was priceless.

“What are you doing here?” He asked pulling you into his large frame.

He smelled good from his shower and you couldn’t help but admire his build.

“Surprising you.”

“Well i’m surprised.” He kept you in a firm grip but was able to look down at you now. “What about homecoming? you were nominated for queen.”

“I wouldn’t have won anyway.” Everyone knew Danielle Stapleton was guaranteed to win mainly because her older sister had two years before.

“But still. Cassidy told me how excited you were to go.”

You simply shrugged “it wouldn’t have been fun without you.”

“So you ditched your senior homecoming where you were nominated to win queen to fly half way across the world with my mom to spend time with me.”

“You like your surprise?”

“I love it.”

You stand in each others arms smiling at one another unaware of the people moving around you and the fact that Ema had left you alone.

“You’re the best you know that?”

You giggled “you’re just now figuring that out.”

“Why aren’t you my girlfriend?” Auston questioned aloud.

“you tell me.” You didn’t miss a beat with your reply.

“Because I don’t deserve you.”

The conversation is always the same. Auston hasn’t asked you out cause he doesn’t deserve you, that’s the sweet endearing joke between the two of you.

“And because you’re way smarter than me, and more capable, and going on to be super successful.” One finger wenr up after another as he listed off his reasons.

You simply shook your head and rolled your eyes up at the giant goof.

“I hate to break it to ya kid you’re out of my league.”

“Well you’re insanely hot, really freaking good at hockey, and going on to be a successful NHL player with hot girls throwing themselves at you all the time.” You took your time listing off your items about him. “Hate to break it to ya kid you’re out of my league.”

“I guess will just have to say neither of us deserve each other.”

“And that’s why we’re not dating.”

Auston smiled, but it’s obvious it’s forced and you mirror. “Let’s go I want to spend as much time with you as I can.”

“What about your mom?” You asked once you got in the car and begin adjusting your seat belt.

“I texted her.” Auston looks up from his phone and places it in the consol. “She’s going to dinner with some of the other families. So we have the place ourselves.“

“You know what that means?“ You asked a sly smile placed on your face.

“What does that mean?” Auston backed out of his spot driving with the hand that wasn’t holding yours.

“Cuddling.”

“Lots of it.”

“Of course.” You nodded. Your head rested against the seat admiring the sites around you as Auston drove.

When you get to his shared apartment he opened the door and allowed you in first.

“I’m going to change. The living rooms through there though.” Auston directed.

You first kicked off your shoes then move to the living room where you sat down on the couch and took in your surrounding. Before you can reach for the remote auston entered with a huge blanket. He sat down beside you and pulled it over the both of you.

“Any preferences?” He fliped through the dvds he’d brought with him downstairs.

“This one.” You picked up the movie you have come to love over the many years and times you’ve watched it.

“Are we ever going to watch a diferrent movie?” Auston got up and put “some kind of wonderful” into his DVD player.

“No, probably not.” You smiled. This was the movie you watched in jack Linder’s basement when you hung out for the first time.

“Great.” He sat back down beside you wrapping his arms around your waist.

You don’t watch the movie, but rather auston. The way his large chest moved up and down with each breath and how small your hand looked in his. His thumb ran over yours repeatedly. You admired all the way from his hair to the silver chain that he never takes off from his neck.

“Take a picture it’ll last longer.” His voice broke your thoughts and brought you back to reality.

Your cheeks burn bright from being caught. “your handsome.”

Auston turned so he was looking down at you his head resting against the couch. That’s how you remain the both of you looking at each other the movie playing in the background. Auston’s hand found the side of your face and let it rest there before he leant down to kiss you. The kiss was slow and romantic. It was the type that made your legs go weak and your heart race faster. When you pulled away everything seemed hazy except Auston he was in complete focus.

“How was that?”

“Good.” You softly smiled. “really good.”

“better than last time?” The last time You and Auston had kissed was before he left for the season. You were laying in his bed just talking when he leaned down and kissed you.

They’re all great.“ You mumbled.

“You want to see if I can make this one better?”

You nod closing your eyes as Auston Matthews pulled you back into him. One kiss turned into two which turned into three which turned into you making out. Auston gently lifted you onto his lap and placed his hands on your hips. Your hands found the back of his neck and his hair.

He rubbed your back and played with the ends of your hair. Your lungs began to burn and the only sound you could make was a wimper mixed with a moan. Kissing along your jaw and neck Auston got the hint. However it didnt take long for him to return to your lips and start kissing away.

The door opened and closed loudly followed by an apology it caused both of you to jump. You leaned back into the couch hoping it wasn’t obvious how breathless and lightheaded you were. Auston sent you a lazy smile only making you want him even more.

“Hey guys!” Ema called coming into the room a brown bag in one hand her purse in the other.

“Hey mom.” Auston greeted and you waved.

“I brought take out.” She held up the bag glancing at the screen. “Oh I love this movie!”

“(Y/n) loves it too, she chose it.”

“Isn’t it just so sweet?” Ema commented a fond smile taking over.

“Mhm” you looked at the screen seeing the movies already almost over.

“Well I’ll take the food to the kitchen. Come in and get it whenever.” Ema walked into the kitchen leaving you alone once again.

“I could eat right now.” You stated taking the hair tie from your wrist and putting your hair up.

“Um” Auston cleared his throat. “Can you get me something?” He glanced down at his lap where the blanket is covering and you went red, but noddsd nonetheless.

“Sure.” You smiled standing up “I’ll grab you an egg role.”

Tom Hiddleston Request

Can I ask for a Tom Hiddleston imagine? him and YN were cast to play Adam and Eve on the movie “Only Lovers Left Alive” (AWESOME MOVIE ! ) and both fell in love. they become the golden couple of hollywood.


*2012*

You were walking across the lot with one of the stage managers who was showing you around what would be your second home until production wrapped up. You had just been casted on the new production of Only Lover Left Alive as the one of the main characters, Eve. “Oh look, your husband,” the manager said jokingly as Tom Hiddleston appeared on set. “Tom,” he called him over. “This is Y/N Y/L/N, as I’m sure you know she’ll be playing Eve.”

“Nice to meet you,” he smiled and offered to shake your hand.

“You too,” you shook his hand.

“I’m being called to a meeting with the director. I’ll see you both on set,” the manager said and left the two of you alone.

“So, are you excited to start filming tomorrow,” you asked.

“More excited for that than having to sit and try on all the clothes and wigs today,” he chuckled.

“Ah, the clothes are my favorite part. Speaking of, I better get going or they are going to kill. I have a wig that weighs, like, 20 lbs to put on,” you smirked.

“If you want, we could try and meet up and rehearse lines later this week, when we get closer to our scenes together.”

“That’d be great.”

*2016*

After about 4 months of filming you two finally allowed yourselves to start dating. You two kept it secret until the movie premiere, you two accompanied each other as dates and released an official statement the month after that you two were dating.

Now, nearly four years later, 11 movies, two of which you two did together, and countless red carpet events you two were about to attend the newest movie premiere for Tom’s latest Thor movie.

After a year of dating Hollywood and the fans lovingly referred to you two as Hollywood’s Golden Couple. Ever since then, whenever another beloved couple would break up you and Tom would be tagged in thousands of posts about how you two were one of the reminders that love still existed.

“What do you have planned for today, Love,” Tom walking into your shared home freshly showered and dressed for the day.

“I have to go for my final fitting today and pick up my jewelry for the premiere this next week. Other than that I am all yours,” you grinned.

“Perfect. How about after your fitting we go to our favorite Italian place downtown and take a stroll around the park?”

“Only if you let me finally go in that new adoption center,” you had been begging him for weeks to go to the new animal adoption center to adopt a new puppy.

“Fine,” he played it off, “but we are only looking,” he said sternly.

“Fine, fine, ok. Only looking.”

“I mean it,” he pretended to be stern and pointed a finger at you.

“Ok, ok, looking only.”

Your fitting went well, everything looked perfect. You and Tom went and picked up the jewelry that was being lent to you for the premiere. As you ate your linguini and munched on the bread in front of you, you held hands with the one Tom wasn’t using. With a semi-loud slurp you sucked in the noodle. “Why are you looking at me like that,” you blushed slightly seeing Tom watching you from across the table.

“Just thinking about how lucky I am,” he smirked. “Somehow I’m with a woman who can look gorgeous even with pasta sauce over her chin,” he chuckled. You hand flew to your face and wiped the sauce from your face.

“Oh, whatever,” you smiled and looked down.

“It’s true. I feel lucky every day when I’m with you.”

“I feel the same way, babe,” you leaned over and gave him a quick kiss.  You left the restaurant and walked around the park, smiling and saying hello to the fans and paparazzi that you came across.

“Oh look,” you faked surprise and pointed to the store across the street, “a new animal adoption place that I have never seen before,” you said very monotonically.

“Oh look,’’ he copied you, “how interesting that that new store is there.”

You pulled him along as you jogged across the street and into the store. You let an “Aw” escape your lips as you looked at the dogs and kittens in their cages. “Oh my Gosh,” you excitedly gasped. In a little cage by himself was a small black lab. Over the past month you had been bugging Tom to get one. “Tom, can we play with him? Please,” you whinned.

“I guess one won’t hurt.” You were shocked at how easy he gave in but went with it. With a grin he called a worker over and asked to play with the lab. You squealed from excitement as the worker came back with the puppy and placed him in your arms.

“There are rooms right over there that you can go into,” they told you. You and Tom picked a room and sat the puppy down who happily ran around you, jumping, and pulling on Tom’s shoe strings.

“Come here boy,” you called and waved a toy rope in front of him.

“That’s a weird collar isn’t it,” Tom asked.

“Collar?” You looked down and saw a little blue collar around his neck with a small heart tag hanging from it. “4 years ago you walked into my life. Here’s a paw for each year…if you say yes?”

You read the tag and were confused, “Say yes to what?” You turned and looked towards Tom and stopped when you saw him in front of you, kneeling on one knee, with a open box in front of you.

“Yes to me. These four years of you have been the best years of my life, and I want them to continue until the day I die. Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, make me the happiest man alive and say you’ll marry me.”

“Yes, yes, of course yes!” You jumped into his arms after he slid the ring on your finger. “How did you get the tag on him? How did you know I wanted to come here?”

“You’ve been talking about this place nonstop since it opened. And, I know you’ve always wanted a black lab. I saw they had this little guy up for adoption so I had the tag made and brought it here ahead of time.”

“You’re the sweetest.”

“So, what are you naming him?”

You looked at the little lab in front of you and it hit you. “I like Wade.”

“You’re naming him after a Marvel hero and it’s not even mine,” he laughed.

You shrugged, “You know Deadpool is my favorite.”

******

That weekend, the night of the red carpet, every question, interview, and picture made sure to pinpoint the diamond ring on your finger and the smiles of Hollywood’s golden couple.

dan and phil play the yasuhati singing challenge: a summary

first of all can i just say i’ve been hoping for a singing video literally since the day the gaming channel was announced and if they use this as an opportunity to take the piss i’m unstanning so fast

i can’t even say anything about the intro because… okay dan

they’d best try to sing properly

i can take this game as long as they properly try to sing

“the game that almost got our neighbours to call the police and we’re back doing it again because we don’t care anymore” because you’re moving??????????

“after watching the footage i didn’t know i could physically make those noises”

they went through the comments to look for songs,,,, you all best not have let me down

i already have firm ideas about the most popular requests

“this is going to be a disaster, i hope you’re ready for the best and worst video you may ever see in your life.”

phil sings my heart will go on in the shower

dan’s face suggests he is well aware of that fact

“do i have to sing it in key?” // “you have to try”

i’m going to be mad if he doesn’t try

after the first note i am already mad and dan is already traumatised

“i could never open the door, celine dion is dead”

“if i was on the titanic and someone was singing that, i’d push you off” i’m with dan on this one sorry phil

the top comment is to sing dan’s diss track

is this actually happening

oh my god it is

okay people let’s all sit back and enjoy this

phil mouths along with him that’s so cute

i am also mouthing along with him as i assume you are too but phil is cuter than all of us

freakishly tool

you look like a noodle, you’ve got hair that was cool in 2007 and wet you just look like a noodle

he’s just in a noodle state of mind it seems

i’m sad phil didn’t do his wink at the shipping with friend line

he fails the game during the reasons why dans a fail rap,,, honestly i relate that’s the one part i can never do either

subtle boaster dan is back

oh god danger men at work

people,,,, thank you but also why

“tatinof isn’t over yet!” dan pls

dan is mouthing the words along with phil this time

whilst also doing little shovey forward hand movements

dan struggles to contain his laughter and phil shushes him truly iconic

phil goes wrong and dan can’t help but correct him

dan’s doing his exaggerated crying face that he does in main channel videos i think he’s physically cringing

dan’s hair is particularly fluffy and i am living for it

why has phil’s voice suddenly gone squeaky

“phil you need to work on your subtlety. you go straight full loudness”

stop talking over each other please i’m begging you it’s incredibly hard to summarise when you do this

“the phil without a chill”

“i’m so sick of dan watching remixes of this song, it’s all i hear in this apartment” maybe you shouldn’t spend every waking moment in the same room then pal

their collab attempt ends just as soon as ig begins

the ‘help me’ dan says in the middle of his 'singing’ accurately represents me right now trying to summarise the damn thing

there are no words for this

“i feel like the police are on their way” honey you’ve made worse noises on a louder scale trust me you’re fine

shout out to the shaved sides though hello

they don’t know the neighbour who’s on the other side of the office wall

“it could be a bedroom…” // “rip that person’s marriage”

aaand now we’re into the requests i knew would come up

“gerard isn’t dead. his dream is” there are going to be some pissed off people in the comments section of this video aren’t there

is phil’s voice breaking already or is the microphone just not knowing how to handle it

“in tune!” dan represents me screaming at the laptop screen every time they open their mouths during this video

phil keeps switching between philippa and back to himself again and it’s lowkey fic inspo

“this is the worst experience of my life” you’re telling me dan, you’re telling me

we’ve all seen you both singing toxic whilst drunk don’t hide from your past

“i regret ever listening to my chemical romance because of that one experience just now, you have just ruined my life”

phil is choosing one for dan

there’s another request i saw coming

“let’s keep with this theme” what theme are you referring to there danny boy

honestly just take a second to imagine dan singing shout out to my ex

now that would be quality content

anyway

“make it more tuneful than my welcome to the black parade” // “is that hard”

this is not what we had in mind when we write singer/band aus

“you spat everywhere, so much saliva”

“you sound like a cow” phil the savage

“oh my god what am i witnessing” phil honestly same

try summarising it it’s more difficult than you think

“i can’t produce the breath” i’m sure i’ve written that line of dialogue before dan thank you for bringing my work to life

“it’s over” phil says as he places a sad hand on dan’s back

how many of you are freaking out over that contact

“i wish this was the dan and phil actually trying to sing beautiful songs that you care about experience that you crave. this is the opposite of that” YOU’RE TELLING ME DANIEL YOU’RE TELLING ME

i feel hurt

“some people in the future might enjoy this music” // “that future shouldn’t exist”

one more

a duet to finish off

aaaand here we go with toxic

will it be better than that infamous drunk karaoke video

probably not but let’s see

“we’ve been building up to this moment for our entire lives, dan. we can do it”

“your breast britney” says dan and phil is right there to drag him for it like the absolute savage he keeps proving himself to be

this is definitely going to be someone’s ringtone

i can’t wait for the new and updated dan and phil singing compilation

'with the taste of your lips i’m on a hide’ okay dan

phil is not into this at all

until it gets to the bits between verses he’s all about those parts

phil chooses to go high and dan chooses to go low

interesting

do what you will with that information, smut writers, interpret that any way you like

they nearly beat the high score

no you definitely didn’t sing the lyrics correctly dan but you did well

“i went into my own little universe then” was it a universe of not giving a tiny rats ass, phil, because it seemed like it

“i think i’m gonna lose my voice for about a month now” // “i feel like i’ve eaten a horse”

“i’d be surprised if we’ve got any subscribers left after that” i’m just sad you let me down with having singing in the title and not giving me what i’ve been craving for years

dan tries to push the video and blame onto us nice how responsible

“i feel like we should never do this again” i agree

“that’s the end of this channel, maybe” well you brought it upon yourselves if it is

“give us a thumbs up if you enjoyed our beautiful tones” how dare you mock me

“less screamy content”

“hope you’re having a good day and your ears aren’t broken” no but my heart and trust is

danisnotintune

aSCREAMINGphil