you little fart

5

Christ, no wonder Andrew turned out so utterly unappealing.

He’s got a handsome face, sure, but nothing else about him can be called attractive at all.

No thanks to his Mr. Stick-up-his-ass-statesman for a father who’s trying to make his son as boring as him.

Also, what is with this backwards thinking? No decent parent I know would ever say no to their children becoming more well-rounded, and on their own accord, too.

“’It’ll be fun’, she said. ‘It’ll be RELAXIN’’, she said. The hell is so relaxin’ ‘bout gettin’ boiled alive!!?”

averca  asked:

Will and Nico just arguring about cuddles like: Will: Come back here to cuddle you little fart nugget Nico: Did you just call me a fart nugget? Will: Yes. I did. Now come back here so we can cuddle!!!! Nico: No cuddles until you apologize *They cuddle anyway, and Nico falls asleep* Will: You're a adorable fart nugget, you know that right..... *falls asleep right after he says that*

akdjs fart nugget is my new favorite term of endearment omg…. this is precious and absolutely 100% canon 10/10 - mod will

I finally found time to post something, YAY!

This is an early birthday present for lbwings, because she’s the nicest person in the world (not to mention I’m totally not worthy of all the gifts she gave me, I feel terrible about that >_< ) and I love her very much!~ ♥

Personally, I’m appalled by the lack of Iroh II in the fandom, I need more of him in my life <333 (and Zuko. Yes. That would be good too)

I hope you like it :D

BIG BANG’s Taeyang as your Boyfriend
  • You’ll drown in sappiness if you’re dating Youngbae
  • Because he is very sweet
  • He would be very affectionate with you!
  • He’d rest his head on your shoulder or on your lap.
  • He would kiss your cheeks, lips and even a small peck on the back of your hand.
  • Walking with Youngbae means holding hands until you get home
  • But when you get home and you’re sitting on the sofa, he’ll intertwine your fingers together.
  • The type to feed you food
  • Watching a movie? *feeds you popcorn*
  • Want a bite of his food? *feeds you*
  • Want a pepero? *puts it between his lips so you guys can do the pepero kiss*
  • But Youngbae is a child as well
  • He lives for annoying you.
  • He finds it really funny when you get hot-headed and annoyed by him
  • Endless tickles and endless teasing about that funny face you made or that time you accidentally farted a little too loud
  • Also, Youngbae would pick you up, put you on the bed and wrap you with a blanket like a burrito
  • Will tie your shoelace together
  • Will also carry your bag
  • Will open the door for you
  • Okay, he’s really a gentleman *cries*
  • loves to poke and pinch your cheeks! You would be having a normal conversation with him and he would just randomly poke your cheek.
  • Or when he’s waking you up, he’d give you a small pinch or a light poke
  • Is shirtless on stage and also shirtless in your house
  • When you wake up, you’ll find him doing some push ups to start the day before he goes to the gym.BLESS
  • Will probably drag you to the gym as well to spot for him
  • But he just really wants you to be there.
  • Would ask you to hold his feet together for sit ups but is actually doing that to kiss you whenever he goes up.
  • Gives you his eye smile alot
  • Like can he even see??
  • Hearing his golden voice 24/7 wow you are so lucky
  • Also, watching youtube together!
  • Going to his concerts and he would always go to your direction and point at you :”)
  • Youngbae would sometimes puts you over his shoulder or carry you on his side just to mess around with you.
  • Places his hand on the small of your back out of habit
  • Asks for kisses alot
  • When you ask him to get something, he’ll have a very smug look on his face and he would point to his cheek for a kiss
  • Or when you ask him to buy some chips in the store, he would tell you to give him a goodbye kiss first
  • The boy needs your kisses to live
  • Also a bright sunshine that can make your day hella better
  • Purposely practices some sexy dance moves whenever you’re around ;) ;) ;)
  • Purposely asks you to be his audience because he needs some feedback ;) ;) ;)
  • The type to make you some ramyun when you’re sick and he would even leave a sticky note that says, “Call me if you need anything :)”
  • Loves talking about you to his family
  • His face instantly lights up when you’re mentioned :D
  • Gives you a poster of his pre-debut picture just to fool around
  • but you decided to put it in the living area and now he’s regretting it
  • The type to sneak his hand to hold yours when you’re in the recording studio because Jiyong is salty (lol kidding, Youngbae just wants to act sneaky)
  • Youngbae’s life would be more special because he has you. You’re his muse and inspiration and he just loves spending time with you!

Peppermint Farts
So here’s a reimagining of the comic that caused my first web host to show me the door. I’d gotten high traffic before, but for some reason, this opened the flood gates. For your amusement, I present to you, my little piglets, Peppermint Farts.

DA!Elsa||Supergirl: The Agent and The Assassin.

A/N: I’m obsessed with Frozen and Supergirl…so why not write a story with both?

Here’s an AU of an AU of an AU. 

I’ve always loved the dynamics of Elsa and Anna as sisters just as much as I love Alex and Kara’s relationship…so why not put all four girls in one story and scenario?

Hope you enjoy my little brain fart. 😉


Elsa knew Alex was upset. Understatement of the year, but she was a bit hopeful that it wasn’t that bad. Oh, it was only a matter or seconds before the inevitable outburst, but Elsa was prepared for this with her nonchalant expression in place, arms crossed against her chest, and her lips pressed into a line. She was ready for confrontation—or war. Whichever. Afterall, she had Anna for a sister…so why did it matter if she pissed off an elite, top-notch super agent with an expertise in hand-to-hand combat and firearms?

Alex Danvers was burning holes into Elsa’s skull with her glare while mimicking her stance. With her arms crossed, leaning her weight on one foot, and her hands away from the 9mm hanging incognito on her thigh, she clenched her jaw, trying very hard not to scream and jump at the blonde that was sat casually just a few feet away.

“So, you’re…you’re an assassin?” she managed calmly, scrutinizing Elsa who had broken eye contact at the mention of the last word. When Elsa didn’t answer, Alex continued on. The 9mm was feeling awfully heavy below her waist as she resisted the urge to snatch it and point it at the new threat in front of her. “For how long now and how many targets?”

Alex’ reaction took Elsa by surprise although she knew that the other girl had intense training in timing and patience like she did in her line of work. But it was different. They were friends, and for Alex to react so pragmatically can only mean one thing: Alex was wary and her next move could be unpredictable and maybe even deadly.

“Alex, I can explain,” Elsa sighed, raising her hands as a sign of surrender—and assurance that she wasn’t holding a weapon. She did a quick body scan, and she knew for a fact that Danvers was armed. There was no escape route nearby, and Kara’s apartment was inconveniently on the 12th floor. Elsa was not going to jump out the window like she did in Gotham on her last mission. She couldn’t risk another broken leg, and using another lame excuse about some sport injury would not convince Anna this time. Her only option was to talk or attack the agent in front of her, and she wasn’t going to do the latter.

Shit. Shit shit fuckity fuck shit.

“For how long and how many?” Alex repeated, her voice a bit louder and laced with controlled anger.

Elsa clenched her fists. It didn’t help that she was sitting down while Alex towered over her from across the dining table. “Two years. Forty-seven who are all notorious criminals and—”

FORTY-SEVEN?” Alex shrieked, eyes widening as her palms slammed loudly on the table, causing Elsa to wince. “Are you out of your mind? Elsa, this is capital punishment! What the hell has gotten into you? I can’t believe that you did—”

“….uhm…is everything okay?”

Alex and Elsa immediately snapped their heads to the door’s direction, confusing the unexpected guest with the horrified looks on their faces. They weren’t anticipating company until the next half hour, and the content of their conversation was not necessarily something that they would like to share. Unprepared and caught off guard, all Alex and Elsa could do was smile awkwardly at the blonde intruder.

Kara stared at her sister and then Elsa askance. “Is everything okay?” she asked, pushing her glasses up her nose bridge. “You guys look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

Alex cleared her throat as she willed her pulse to lower its pace. “Kara, how much of our conversation did you hear?” she asked warily, shooting her sister a deliberate look in hopes that she would catch on and realize she was referring to her super hearing abilities.

Kara squinted at her sister. “Not…much?” she replied, still very much confused. “What’s going on? You can’t believe that Elsa did what?” she asked, now turning her gaze to Elsa.

Before Alex could answer, another voice joined in on the conversation. “Hey guys,” Anna greeted, her head peeking out of the doorway. “I have pot stickers and ice cream,” she grinned excitedly, raising the bag of goodies in front of her. “Ready for movie night?”

Kara shot Elsa and Alex a quick look that said ‘you WILL tell me later’  before turning around to help Anna take their food out of the bags. Thinking that they were out of the woods, Anna—to Alex, Elsa and Kara’s surprise—opened her mouth and asked the dreaded question once again.

“Hey, Elsa…what did you do? I heard Alex asking you that when Kara and I were about to come in. Spill it,” she smirked, impressed by her own wit. “Go on and tell us!”

Elsa blinked. Once. Twice. Her mind went blank and jumping off the window didn’t seem so illogical anymore. “I—I uhh—I’m—”



“—she told Winn Schott she likes him when I told her not to,” Alex blurted out, her hands flying and vaguely gesturing at nothing in particular. “Your sister has a big crush on Winn,” she added quickly.

Elsa’s jaw dropped in disbelief. Kara covered her mouth as she tried to suppress her giggles. Anna could only squeal and run to her sister to crush her in an embrace.

“You like Winn? I thought you liked Tadashi? But Winn? He’s also a giant nerd like you!” Anna cooed, her arms wrapped around her sister’s neck. With her view angled away from Elsa as she continued to hug her and ramble on about weddings and babies, Anna missed the threatening glare that Elsa was aiming at Alex.

“You’re 48th,” she mouthed wordlessly, knowing (and hating) that Alex understood exactly what she said when her threat was returned with a smirk.

“I wanna see you try,” Alex mouthed back, raising a challenging brow. “This isn’t over,” she murmured, turning on her heels to walk to where Kara was stood with a plate of pot stickers.

Kara shrugged as her sister leaned on the wall next to her. “You know I heard everything, right?”

Alex chuckled dryly. “Yep. I know.”

“Does Anna know?” Kara whispered, making sure Anna and Elsa weren’t within earshot.

“I don’t know,” Alex shrugged.

“Let’s worry about this later when Anna’s gone. Potsticker?” Kara offered, lifting her chopsticks with the potsticker between it. “She said you’ll be her next target. 48th. She’s joking…right?”


“I wanna see her try,” Alex scoffed, “we both know I can kick Arendelle’s ass.”

“I know. But you still need to talk to her,” Kara said, the humor leaving her voice as her brows furrowed in concern. “She’s a criminal, Alex. She’s…dangerous.”

“I know,” Alex replied with an indecipherable tone while she stared blankly ahead. “I know.”

So, you know when you’re having sex and your vagina makes that weird wet fart sound so you moan louder and breathe heavier in the hopes that the other person didn’t hear it but instead what you do is turn your partner on even more and it causes them to increase the pace and then the noise gets louder and louder and it sounds like a homeless guy’s broken squeegee as he slops cold dirty water on your windshield as you wait for a traffic light to change under the bridge and then you laugh and a little fart comes out and now you have to stop fucking or else you’re gonna poop?

Yeah.

Me neither.