Sweetheart (Steve Rogers x reader)
Rewriting this, I hope I have good memory recall for this. Still on edge from deleting the first draft of this. fuckkkkkk
Description: Steve breaks down in front of you about Bucky. It’s angsty and sad honestly.
“Goodnight everyone!” You waves at the group as you walked away. You had a smile on your face, unlike everyone else. Everyone was exhausted from the last mission, besides you. All you earned back from them were some grumbled goodnights and halfhearted waves. You stopped before leaving, “has anyone seen Steve?” The only person that responded this time was Sam with a barely audible “I don’t know.” You raised your brow, a concerned look creeping up on your face.
Steve had been acting different lately, the stress from his missions catching up to him. Not only that, but ever since Bucky returned, it had been taking a toll on him. He hadn’t been saying much about it, he was usually an open book. A total sweetheart. And you loved him. You and Steve had been together for over a year, every moment with him filled with pure bliss. All you knew was that you wanted to be with him; always.
You decided to check around the tower to try and find your loving boyfriend. Your first stop was the training room. It was dark, nobody was in there. You checked if he had been there recently, but there was no sight of spilled punching bags on the floor. Your suspicions that he was there recently were negative. Concern started to creep up your stomach. You thought of his next favorite place.. the kitchen. The marble felt cool underneath your bare feet as you walked across the open floor plan. As you reached the huge cooking space, memories of all the times you two were in the kitchen trying to make food crept up to the front of your mind. The corner of your mouth pulled up a bit as you thought about it. You flicked on the switch, but to no avail. He wasn’t there. The sick feeling now filled your stomach and crept up to your throat. You thought that he couldn’t have just left, he never leaves without telling you because he knows you get worried. Maybe he was in his room.
The hallways were empty and you cursed yourself for not wearing something warmer. All you were wearing was an old t-shirt and some cotton shorts. The least you could have done was put on some socks, but oh well.
You reached his door, and turned he knob. He wasn’t in there either. But, you stood in the middle of his room, taking it all in. Goosebumps started to surface on your arms and you saw a blanket on his bed. You took it, knowing he wouldn’t mind. You threw it over your shoulders and snuggled your nose into the fabric. You took a deep breath; it smelled just like him. His scent was comforting and familiar, something you hoped you never had to live without.
You slowly turned around in his room. You smirked at his bed, remembering all those nights you made love on it. Your eyes lingered there for few moments, then it shifted around the room. Your gaze finally landed on his photo wall. You walked across the room to it, feeling the carpet in between your toes. You smiled at all the photos, lightly tracing your fingers across them. Most of them were of you and him. Your eyes lit up at one photo from when you took a trip to the beach together. Steve had captured your reaction of the moment he poured sand on your head. The picture showed your shocked face and his side profile smiling at you. That was one of your favorite memories. You looked on at the rest of them and your fingertips stopped on a certain picture. The edges were worn and the picture was fading. Your smile faded as you pulled the push pin out of it and held it in your hands. It was a picture of Steve and Bucky from their army days.. before Steve lost him.
You knew you had to find him, or at least find out where he was. You wanted to be here for him, you always would.
You placed the picture back on the wall and left his room, the blanket still draped across your shoulders, and closed the door softly behind you. You began to walk to the elevator, but stopped in your tracks. You felt your pockets for your phone and realized you had left it in your room. You needed it to call Steve, to make sure he was okay. You entered the lonely elevator and pressed the button for your floor. When the doors opened, you found your hallway, listening to the sound of your feet as the padded against the hard wood.
As you began to walk to your room, you heard soft crying. You became worried, and as you got closer to your room, it grew more audible. Then you realized, it was coming from your room.
You turned the knob and slowly opened the door. It creaked, making your presence known. You saw a familiar figure sitting on the edge of your bed, his back facing you.
“Steve?” You squinted your eyes in the darkness. The concern and worry in your voice made him turn his upper body to you and he quickly wiped away any stray tears that might have been on his face, hoping you wouldn’t see. Oh, but you saw. You always knew when something was wrong, when something was bothering him.
The moonlight castes a shadow across his face, but you could still make out his disheveled, blonde hair and his full lips. You approached him, and let the blanket fall to the ground. You knelt down in front of him, so that you were looking up at him.
“Oh baby..” Your voice trailed off as you cupped his tear stained face, his cheeks flushed pink from crying. Your eyebrows were stitched together with worry and his placed one of his hands over yours.
“Sweetheart, talk to me. I was getting so worried about you.” He gave you a small smile, appreciating your concern and kissed your head.
“I’m sorry I worried you. I went to be by myself and realized I needed you, but I didn’t want to bother you. So, I decided to come to your room. It’s comforting just being here.”
He broke eye contact with you and looked at the floor. “Hey, look at me,” you spoke softly and turned his face towards you, “you could never bother me. I’ll be here in a heartbeat whenever you need me. I was looking everywhere for you.” You broke out a small smile and chuckled.
He laughed a little, but then tears started welling up in his eyes again.
“What’s wrong baby? Talk to me.” Your voice began to break at the sight of the one person you truly loved on the brink of tears.
“It’s Bucky. I thought he was dead.. he fell off a cliff. I went on thinking I would never see him again.” Tears began streaming down his face, making his blue-green eyes seem brighter. “And there he is, still alive, but not the Bucky I used to know. They tortured him F/N. They hurt him in ways unimaginable. And when he saw me.. he didn’t know who I was.” At this moment, he began to sob. You pulled yourself up on the edge of the bed, so that he could lean on your shoulder. He sat there, buried in your shoulder, his arms around your waist. You rubbed his back soothingly, shushing his pain.
After a good twenty minutes of that, he pulled away. “Thank you darling. Thank you for being here for me.” He looked down at the spot where he cried and saw how soaked your shirt was. “And sorry about your shirt.”
You laughed a little and his face graced a small smile. “Well it’s good that you have plenty of shirts for me to steal to replace this one.” You winked and kissed him on the cheek. “Hey, I’m always gonna be here. No matter what. Because I love you. God, I love you so much. And we’re going to get through this together. You and me. We’re gonna find a way to get him back, not just get him back to you. But we’re gonna get the real Bucky back to you.” You looked at him, with hope, but also with hurt. You hated seeing him so upset.
He cupped your face and whispered, “maybe we will. I hope we do. As long as you’re here, it’ll be easier than facing it alone.” His voice was raspy from crying, and his eyelashes were sticking together.
He put on a small smile and pulled you face to his, kissing you softly. You kissed back, the feeling of his lips on yours leaving you filled with butterflies even after over a year of being together. He pulled away and you put your foreheads together. You gazed into each other’s eyes, and somehow it filled the silence.
“Thank you.” He spoke with love and affection and you knew he really meant it.
“Sweetheart, I’d do anything for you.” You smiled and pulled his lips to yours. You kissed each other, pouring all your love for each other into every moment. Steve deepened the kiss, and it felt like your world was spinning into pure bliss.
Then it was his turn to pull away. He left and warm feeling on your lips that tingled when the cool air hit you. “Can we just stay here? I don’t want to leave you.” He spoke shyly.
“Of course you can.” You knew that the Winter Soldier, haunted him in his sleep ever since Steve saw him.
You got up to go to your dresser, his hands falling from your waist. You always kept a pair of his pajamas in your room in case he ever wanted to sleep over. You pulled out a pair of his soft, plaid sleeping pants out of the drawer. You knew these were his favorite. The pants went flying across the room to him as you threw it. You also took out the shirt that he always wore with it. Before tossing the shirt to him, you contemplated whether you should actually give it to him.
You turned to him and he had already stripped off his shirt and put on his pajama pants. His arm was outstretched for you throw the shirt to him. Instead, you teasingly pulled off your shorts and your tear soaked shirt, giggling. He gave you a look, the one he always gave you when you were being mischievous. He began to laugh as you tried being seductive, something you weren’t very good at. But, it was something you and him always laughed about together.
Before he got any ideas, you put on his t-shirt, which hung to the middle of your thigh. It was huge on you. You were glad you got him to laugh, you could tell it was taking his mind off of Bucky.
“So I’m just supposed to be cold tonight then?” He was smiling fully as you walked towards him; sporting his shirt.
“Well, you’ll have me to keep you warm. I think you’ll be fine.” You both were bubbly despite what just happened. It took the edge of, and Steve was grateful for it.
You stood in front of him and he held your hands gently as you rubbed your thumbs across the backs of his hands.
You crawled into your bed together, pull the comforter over your bodies, the fabric feeling soft against your skin. Steve put his arm around you as you snuggled up to his bare chest with your leg wrapped around him.
“We’re going to find him. That much I can promise you sweetheart.” you whispered these words into the air, thinking nobody could hear you. But Steve did, and he placed a loving kiss on your head one last time before your eyes fluttered closed and sleep took both of you into its embrace.