you know you're british when

(Talking about the Scotland leaving the UK)
I am all for keeping the union unless its getting rid of the guy on the co-op adverts that says ‘Gud with fud’ then I’m willing to change my vote.

There are four o’s in that sentence and he has the cheek to ignore every f*cking one of them, then has the cheek to say he works for Co-op… mate by your rules you work for 'c-up’.

—  Jon Richardson - 8 out of 10 cats 29/11/13

I love the royal family. It’s just like the best soap opera ever. You know, you’ve got two sons, one of whom is the perfect prince; he’s the heir to the throne and is expecting a child. The other is on the front line of a battle but spends his time with half nude women in Vegas. Then mum died tragically in what some people still think is a conspiracy. And then at the top you’ve got a doddery old bloke and a woman who doesn’t take any shit.

If you threw in three dragons and a dwarf you’ve got season 2 of Game of Thrones.

—  Comedian Adam Hills on the Royal Family.