you know you're an intp when

Types as harmless but (somehow) unnecessary habits
  • ISTP: Holding your breath when a character in a movie/TV show does to see if you could make it
  • ESTP: Avoiding the cracks between tiles and bricks when you walk
  • INTP: Texting a friend when you're behind their door rather than ringing the doorbell
  • ENTP: Babbling horrible things to your pets in a sweet voice and enjoying the fact they're happy and don't know what you're telling them
  • INFP: Clicking "maybe later" when an app asks you to rate it even if you're never going to just because you don't want to hurt its feelings
  • ENFP: Always keeping your music on shuffle yet skipping every song because it's not the one you want to hear
  • ISFP: Tapping the top of a soda can before opening it
  • ESFP: Opening the microwave a second before it's ready to avoid hearing the beep
  • ISFJ: Instinctively saying "sorry" when you bump into inanimate objects
  • ESFJ: Liking a friend's Facebook post if no one else has even if you don't really care about it just so they don't feel like the post was a mistake
  • ISTJ: Counting the amount of stairs as you walk up
  • ESTJ: Checking the keyboard after making a typo to see how close the missed key was to the key you pressed to judge how acceptable the typo was
  • INTJ: Removing earbuds from your ear every now and then to make sure the sound isn't coming out of your phone/computer
  • ENTJ: In bed, counting how many hours of sleep you would get if you fell asleep right now and feeling anxious as the amount goes down
  • INFJ: Restarting a song when you're distracted and miss your favorite part
  • ENFJ: Smiling at a crying baby to cheer them up even if they're not looking at you
Guarded
  • ENTP's friend: I'm such a guarded person.
  • ENTP: (talking to INFP and INFJ "freely" gives away some "secrets" about self)
  • ENTP's friend: I don't know how you can just tell people your life story...
  • *later that day*
  • ENTP: (pokes INTP) Hey, remember my guarded friend?
  • INTP: Vaguely.
  • ENTP: Close enough. What do you think of how she doesn't like to reveal things about herself?
  • INTP: Well, if you don't have much to guard, you'll be that much more careful about what you reveal, right? One coin from a small storehouse is more noticeable than your ENTP warehouse of "WTF-where-did-all-this-sh*t-come-from?!".
  • ENTP: lol
  • INTP: You know it's quite amazing because people think you're being honest and social when you tell a story from your past because the level of detail and theatrics that go into the story-telling, but you really only tell 12-13% of what really happened.
  • ENTP: 12-13%?
  • INTP: Yes, and that's usually enough for people to open up to you and spill one of their valuable guarded secrets. *sigh* Humans are so easily manipulated.