I saw one of your tags say that you're not sure Sam would be ok with Destiel and I'm curious why. Do you think it'd be like the Benny situation again or something else? I didn't ship Denny but I don't think Sam likes when someone else comes before him in Dean's eyes. (I can't see Sam not liking Desitle as a homophobic thing, but ya never know.) Anyway I'm genuinely curious because I could see Sam not exactly like a shipper but ultimately ok with it.
Hi! I have to say, I’m always torn when I hear about people reading my tags, because on the one hand I’m vain and prideful and they’re written to be read, but on the other, tagging is like talking to yourself, so - *blushes slightly*.
Anyway, first things first - before I discovered what a fandom was, I was a total sucker for shipper!Sam. My doubts didn’t begin until after I’d read a shitload of fanfiction about it, and something really rotten in my brain was like, What if Sam wasn’t okay with it, though? because I always like to be contrary and to turn things on their heads and see how they work and if they still work. So I’ve got no real problems with shipper!Sam. It’s just - I sometimes wonder - generally when I’m writing myself - what would be more interesting from a narrative point of view - if it’d be better to have Sam in the background, hanging up mistletoe and leaving The letter of the day is B leaflets around the Bunker or if it’d be easier for Dean to have something to push against. I think a case could be made either way - but if TPTB would have wanted to go down that first road, they probably wouldn’t have killed off Charlie, since she would have been (and she probably was) an even better shipper and wingman than Sam.
That said, I have two arguments against shipper!Sam.
One: Sam is way more messed up than he lets on, and some part of it is terrified not only that Dean will walk away, but that Dean will fall in love with someone and actually pursue that. I know I’ve seen this discussion go down somewhere, but I honestly don’t remember who first came up with this - apologies, guys - the fact that Sam is an all or nothing kind of guy. Like, when he went to Stanford, that was it - he never contacted John, or even Dean, again. For years. And the same happened when he was with Amelia - he just - I don’t know, cut himself off? I’m not sure if it’s his personality, or a by-product of his less than ideal childhood, but Sam’s got trouble to let people into his life, and once they’re in, it’s like there isn’t room for anyone else? Which is a childish trait, of course, and it signals a lack of emotional maturity on his part (not surprising - poor Sammy). And since Sam tends to relate with other people through his own experiences, part of him surely assumes Dean’s exactly the same; that if Dean found himself a new best friend, or a better hunting partner, or even a spouse of some kind, he’d just walk away and that would be it. So in this sense, Sam would feel threatened by any relationship Dean could potentially develop, not only by Cas.
Two, we used to see Sam as the shades of grey brother, but the amazing thing about this show is that Sam and Dean went through a lot of character development resulting in them almost swapping the roles they had in the first seasons - and yet all this feels natural and completely believable. So these days, Dean’s more likely to be the one who gives monsters a pass (hell, look at his relationship with Crowley), while Sam’s become sort of judgemental and what needs must. I think it was Ruby, most of all, who scarred Sam from the inside out and made him so much more conservative, or pragmatic (like, look at him now - he’s more willing than Dean to work with the BMoL, because he’s Mr Head Choice or something). Sam took a huge risk in liking and trusting Ruby, and it all hinged on a sort of anti-racism argument - an I don’t care if she’s a demon, because even demons can be nice and Our biology doesn’t determine our destiny and whatever else. Dean had shut him down about this, of course, but Sam had persisted - and I know there were other elements at play here, but to me, the central point was exactly this: a pigheaded and generous and noble willingness to trust a creature you don’t understand at all and you’ve got no reason to trust. Now, of course things are different with Cas, because Cas has proven, time and again, that Dean’s safety would be his number one priority and all that, but I’m still not convinced Sam would actively want that for Dean. After all, Sam’s seen this other, softer side of Dean’s - he’s seen him around kids (he remembers him from their shared childhood) and he’s heard (a bit) about how happy he was with Robin and whatever, so I sometimes feel Sam still wants the Sookie ending for Dean: a chance to have a true family of his own, and a life Dean could finally lead in full view of everybody, without shame or weirdness or sigils carved on the walls. And I’m not sure this is something Cas would be able to give Dean.
Finally, there’s the whole bisexuality deal. Here, I have to say - I don’t know what to think. I’m sure Sam’s got no problem with queer people, but it’s always slightly different when it’s your family, right? And there are days I think Sam must know - Jesus, they’ve been sharing a room for thirty years - and days when I think that no, that parent/child thing they’ve got going is way too strong for Sam to see the whole picture (to even think about it).
(Like, I know it was supposed to be funny and that I’m reading too much into it, but Sam recoiling when Rowena suggested he undress Dean and check his chest hair or something - to me, that was emblematic of how their relationship works. Dean’s changed Sam’s diapers, has helped him to get dressed for years, surely bathed him and watched him play with that one plastic submarine they’d scavenged somewhere and, years later, he stitched him up and massaged weird herbal salves over his bruises and whatever - but to Sam, of course, it’s weird to think about his brother’s body at all, because that’s the relationship we have with our parents: when you actually have to take care of them that way, it means things have got very bad and very scary.)
In any case, at the very least Sam would be worried about Dean’s safety (and there’s always that heartbreaking thing, right, that if you’re bi and you can be happy with a woman - man, it’d be so much easier) - but one big reason to be optimistic in this sense was this new development we’ve seeing - that openly gay hunters can actually exist in the community without being bothered.
(Then again, judging from the news coming about the US, I sometimes feel Dean and Cas could have their college AU life only in a big city, and not in one of those wild, road off to the horizon states where Dean feels most at home. So, well - I really don’t know.)
Anyway - we know so little about Sam, it’s likely that anything could work concerning his approach to the Destiel situation. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.