you know what people say about big feet

By Way of Spontaneity (Part 1)

Summary: On a whim, Bucky declares you to be his girlfriend to his grandma and mother. They’re eager to meet you and he asks you to pretend to be with him for just one dinner with his family. But is that really all?

Word Count: 680

Warnings: None.

A/N: This is sheer K-Drama content lol. So it’s gonna be fluffy and full of craziness. I hope you all like it!

Originally posted by seabasschino

Kicking his shoes off, Bucky plops down on the couch, swinging his feet until his legs are off the floor and he crosses them. Taking a deep breath, he stretches enough to pull his phone out of his pocket and unlocks it, perusing through his various social media apps. He’s scrolling through the wedding pictures of a former high school classmate of his when he hears a sharp whistle.

His grandmother’s stern face is what he sees as his head snaps towards the sound. She’s got her lips pursed in a tight line and her brow furrowed. Bucky smiles. “Hey, nana. You look beautiful today.”

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anonymous asked:

Hi!! Could I get 21, 33, 47 and 48 for Toshinori please? 😍

21. Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

- Justice 
- Degradation 

33. Concept of home and family?

He likes to think that one day his family would be him, a partner and a child but he also knows family comes in many forms. Sometimes a family is a student and their mentor, sometimes it’s a group of friends who love each other dearly etc. He knows that blood doesn’t always mean family.

47. If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

He needs someone caring and sympathetic. Someone that really cares about the people around them and actively tries to improve the lives of whoever they can. He also needs someone who loves Toshinori and not just All Might. What I mean to say is Midoriya Inko.

48. How do they express love?

Big bear hugs. He’ll lift you off of your feet if he can and nuzzle his cheek to yours. Bonus points if you’re the one hugging him first.

I added a size difference tag!

size difference!

1. A Hobbit-FIst:

Kink Meme Fill

Thorin’s dick is the size of Bilbo’s fist.

That’s really not a problem.

2. I Would Feel Like You Would Feel: 

Halflings do not have the right word for Mine like the dwarves do.

3. Last Night in Laketown:

Bilbo and Thorin simultaneously realise that the last time they had sex may be the last time they EVER have sex, with Smaug waiting just around the corner. There is only one problem where can they find short folk that are interested in sex with males in the middle of Laketown??! Sexy times ensue.

‘I can think of someone who’s your height and male.’ Bilbo said slowly, that drink may have been stronger than he had thought, this was crazy. Was he being a little too obvious?

‘I’m not having sex with Dwalin, he’s my best friend.’ Thorin snapped.

Fucking really? Bilbo sighed; it was a good job Thorin was pretty.

4. Too Much:

For my Hobbit Slash Love-Fest on Tumblr. When certain members of the company discover that Bilbo has very sensitive ears, they can do little more than take advantage of the knowledge.

5. A Little Thicker Than These Fingers:

Bilbo had taken some pride when Thorin had stated he was surprised the hobbit was so well endowed. He joked saying, “Well you know what they say about people with big feet,” which had earned a small laugh from Thorin. Bilbo’s pride quickly diminished the moment he saw exactly how large Thorin was.

6. A Handle on Love:

Thorin has a bit of a fixation on something Bilbo is very self conscious about. How long before the stoic dwarf’s legendary control finally unravels and how long before Bilbo realizes that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes?

7. The Difference Between:

For my Hobbit Slash Love-Fest on Tumblr. Bilbo is insecure about his appearance/weight and Thorin reassures him.

8. A Halo On Your Body:

After a humid day’s ride, the Company are keen to bathe and Bilbo finds himself in the company of many naked dwarves, none of whom are shy.

Perhaps the burglar in him is coming through, because Bilbo finds himself very interested in the shiny things they’ve adorned their bodies with.



In a recent profile of Melania Trump, fashion photographer Stane Jerko tells GQ that it was hard to fit Melania with shoes for shoots, because her feet were so big. Then he says “You know what they say in Slovenia about people with big feet? When you live on big feet, you live big.” This idiom holds true for the pink fairy armadillo, a creature with big feet that is truly living its best life.

Visit from Grandma - Daddy’s Little Lovebug

Word Count: 1080

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: None

A/N: I’ve been sitting on this for awhile trying to figure out an ending and I just crapped one out tonight and decided to post this and get rid of it. 

A/N #2: Friendly reminder these are not written in chronological order but they are posted on the masterlist in chronological order to the best of my ability. 

Daddy’s Little Lovebug Masterlist

“JoJo.” You whispered, gently shaking her awake. “Wake up baby girl. Someone’s here to see you.”

“Hmm?” She squinted her eyes open and looked up at you, reaching out her arms. You chuckled and picked her up, positioning her on your hip and carrying her out of her room and down the hall. She had fallen back to sleep on your shoulder halfway out.

“Someone is sleepy today.” You smiled and gently shook her as she whined. “Come on, lovebug. Someone drove a long way to see you and bring you presents.” Dean moved to your side and brushed her hair out of her face, poking her nose to wake her up.

“Joannaaaaa.” He whispered in her ear. “I’m gonna steal your presents.” You felt her smile against you and knew she was waking up.

“I guess I’ll just have to take all this stuff back where I found it.” Mary’s voice chimed through the bunker and JoJo’s head shot up, turning around to face her. Mary had been back for a few years, choosing to go live with Jody and help her with the girls. She visited often though, always wanting to spend time with JoJo.

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I’m Yours (AO3)

Prompt: Dean and Cas are roommates who get into a terrible fight. It’s so bad that Cas tells Dean to just take what’s his and leave, so Dean scoops Cas up into his arms and walks out the door.  

“Dean, this is getting out of control. You can’t keep doing this!” Castiel’s jaw is clenched so tight that it’s starting to hurt, his hands balled up in fists at his side.

“Why not, Cas?! It aint hurting anybody!” Dean yells, his eyebrows raised to the roof. Castiel’s heart cracks a little at that. Of course it’s hurting somebody. Castiel can’t handle the pain when the love of his life brings a new woman to their apartment every other night and bangs them in the room across the hall.

“Well, I don’t know Dean. In case you haven’t noticed these walls are pretty thin!” He yells back waving his hands around like a lunatic. Dean’s head rolls along with his eyes.

“Is that really what this is about? You’re angry cause I keep you up on the occasional Friday night?! Oh, I’m sorry that I’m not tuned in to your early bed time.” Dean turns and starts to walk out of the living room.

“Hey!” Castiel yells as he strides forward, grabs him roughly on the shoulder and whips him around so that he is facing Dean again. Up close Castiel can really see the fury in Dean’s eyes. That just makes him angrier.

“Don’t be stupid Dean. We both know how frequently this happens and to be honest it’s really quite uncomfortable for me to listen to…to…that every second night!” He spits. “And you know what else Dean?! You never even let me bring someone home myself cause like you said you ‘don’t want to listen to all that gay shit’!” His bones are rattling beneath his skin as he screams in Dean’s face. If he wasn’t so furious right now he might have seen the look of guilt that washed over Dean’s face.

But as quickly as it came it was gone, replaced with a hardened jaw and steely look. “Not that anyone would come home with you anyway.” Dean quips. Time stops. Castiel wants to cry. And he might soon if he doesn’t do something about it. His heart breaks and he doesn’t think about what he is saying until is comes out.

“Take what’s yours and leave.” It’s cold and emotionless, the exact opposite of how he feels.

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sleepyaugustus  asked:



  • Nico uses the self check-out line in the grocery store every time because it means you’ll have minimal human interaction and he’s all for that. He’s MASTERED the self check out and he’ll actually help other people. Like an older lady is having trouble getting the damn thing to scan her bread and Nico smiles faintly, steps up, and asks if he can be of assistance. The elderly are okay, they’re usually very kind. And she doesn’t care that he has shaggy hair and his clothes are all black. She just smiles and hands him the loaf. Nico does all of the scanning for her and she tells him that he’s a fine young man and Nico is just BEAMING for the rest of the day.
  • Percy and Jason have the same shoe size and they swap shoes all the time. 
  • Frank has the biggest feet
  • “you know what they say about a guy with big feet” “no, what?” “..uh..they say ‘damn you got some big feet’”
  • Hazel always doodles in her notebook during senate meetings- horses, various animals, and the faces of the people around her. Especially Frank, with his strong jawline.
  • Nico is the one who holds the door open for someone like 3 miles away and gets stuck holding the door for EVERYONE coming in and out because he doesn’t want to just leavenow. You can definitely see the indecision on his face and his forehead is creased and you’re just gonna have to drag that boy away
  • Percy does that jingly leg thing and you just have to reach out and touch his knee like dOWN BOY
  • Jason licks his lips a lot
  • like a lot
  • Percy is seriously so talented at braiding hair what the fuck (it’s because of Annabeth and crafts. we all know it)
  • Jason and Percy can quote the entirety of Legally Blonde and 
  • Jason can’t pour anything without spilling it (maybe it’s at the fault of Piper, you’ll just never know)
  • Piper always wears mismatched socks (colorful, patterned, etc)
  • Who has the most shoes in the seven? Piper? Maybe Jason? NAH- it’s Frank. Have you noticed that Rick always adds more details to Frank’s outfit than any other demigod? He does. Frank definitely has more shoes than humanly possible.
  • Nico is the most ticklish- don’t even touch his feet at all. he’ll pee himself right there.
  • Hazel accidentally makes sexual innuendos without realizing it (and everyone always laughs and won’t tell her why)
  • At the house, Percy is a barefoot kind of guy while Annabeth is a socks-on kind of person. (although he’ll wear socks for sock slides with her and he’ll do that white dress shirt sock slide from Risky Business
  • Jason has a springy/bouncy walk like he’s walking on air (HEH)
  • Piper likes to sit on the arm of chairs and couches instead of the actual seat and Jason is all “thAT IS AUTHENTIC LEATHER, PIPER, GET OFF.”
  • She really just likes to annoy him
  • Reyna always has mints or gum in her pocket (trust me)
  • Reyna really just has a sweet tooth and has a whole stash of candy all the time
  • Don’t lie to or near Percy- he will always be able to see straight through you. (remember in SoN when he saw through REYNA? I do.)
  • Percy always bumps into things and apologizes
  • Jason is the one that always rolls coins around his fingers and knuckles. 
  • Frank and Hazel All of the seven always carry change in their pocket to give to beggars and the homeless
  • Jason and Percy take stupid dares/bets for ridiculously small amounts of money. “Percy! It’s just a dollar!” “A dollar buys me 2 tacos at Jack in the Box!”
  • Since Percy always has Riptide, he idly doodles on any piece of paper in front of him.
  • At restaurants, Percy is the kind of guy who will reset the condiments and tidy things up (sally is a wonderful person)
  • Percy is basically immune to brain freezes whereas Frank can’t even drink anything with ice in it
  • Annabeth and Jason have the crazy ability to calculate the total of items in the shopping cart and the tax 
  • No one eats more ice cream and yogurt than Frank after he discovers the beautiful existence of lactaid tabs

wow this is really long, I’m just gonna stop now. 

You Could Be Happy - 6|10

Sorry its taken so long to post this, it is now all written so I will just post to my hearts content! 

Sequel to Bonfire Heart

Other parts can be found here

Forever tag list: myfinnnelsonpls , teastaindiary, suzesuper, celestev31, @cant-getno-sleep, storey-time, milymargot, @youmehellofarollercoasterride, kneekeyta, prideandpeaches, hewittgolightly, darlingdiver, fantasticab, arashian-emu, luvs-jade, llexis, anglophileyoungblood, perfecters, jellytotsies, areyousad8118, finnraearchietix, luckyemcee, tinakegg, katywright340, busstop, thisissomefreshbullshit, lockitinthefuckingvault, scumothaearff, mmirallegross, anitavalija, raernundo, ducky17, rinncincin, sey77, faithbyrne00, kristicallahan, mmfdiaryfan, bitchy-broken, ililypop, arashian-emu, courtkismet, sarahlouise88ni, nutinanutshell, mellamoaiko, rumorsincolor. flxwxry 

Part Six

His heart beat fast inside his rib cage as they held eye contact. Her long black hair framed her face and her full eyelashes fluttered against her skin as she blinked quickly. It was almost as if she couldn’t quite believe Finn was standing on her doorstep. Finn didn’t know how she could be surprised; the past couple of months had been leading to this moment. He had practiced over and over again what to say and how to say it but as he stood in front of her, his mouth ran dry.

Rae shuffled slightly in the doorway before moving to allow space for him to enter. She looked up at the sky before turning her gaze back to Finn.

“Come in,” she whispered, motioning him forward. “It’s cold.”

                Finn followed Rae through the corridor and inside. The warmth of the house was welcoming and he paused to appreciate the comfort that the familiar surroundings brought him. She led the way into the living room and perched in the armchair. Finn looked at the sofa before deciding that he’d rather stand. All of a sudden every single emotion he’d felt since the last time they’d spoken came rushing back to him and he began to pace the room furiously.

“Why?” He barked. He didn’t look at Rae but he could picture her face.

“Why what?” Rae’s voice was small and a little tired but Finn didn’t care.

He spun around quickly and looked her straight in the eye. She looked exactly as he’d imagined; beat down and slightly scared. A lock of her hair had fallen in front of her eyes whilst the rest of her hair was pushed behind her shoulders.

“Why did you leave?” He asked, his voice softening as he realised her vulnerability.

She said nothing.

“There must be a reason,” he persisted, “one minute we’re having fun and the next you’re running out of the house not even giving me a reason why. Don’t you think you owe me an explanation?”

Still nothing.

“Come on.” His persistence was starting to turn to spite. “Or have you got Ben upstairs in bed and that’s why you couldn’t possibly give me a reason as to why you broke my heart? Perhaps you were cheating on me all along?”

“Fuck off!” She shouted, standing up and staring at him with a hateful glimmer in her eyes.

“And finally we get somewhere. Go on then, explain.”

“YOU WENT TOO FAST OK?” She shouted and Finn looked at her with wide eyes. “One minute we’re starting a new relationship and it’s great! It’s like we connected on this level which I’d never had before-,”

“I don’t see what the problem is then.” Finn interrupted.

 “That’s partly the problem Finn…” Rae was becoming more agitated and growing louder with each word. “You only see what you see. You didn’t see me getting left behind. One minute we’re on this magical journey together and the next you’re full steam ahead and I’m left a couple of steps behind freaking out.”

“Freaking out about what?” Finn asked.

His eyes narrowed slightly as he looked at her. His fringe fell in front of his eyes and he couldn’t be bothered to push it out of the way. Rae was pacing in front of him running her fingers through her hair before finally grabbing an elastic hair band from around her wrist and pushing her locks into a messy bundle on top of her head. She stopped still and turned to face Finn again.

“Everything,” she whispered, a calm falling around them.

Finn still didn’t understand. He sat down on the sofa and began to pick at his nails, an old habit that he tried to kick but one he always returned to whenever he was confused or upset.

“I got no idea what you’re talking about.”

“That’s the point Finn. We were together for three months, three months and you start hinting at marriage and what we were going to call our kids. I mean,  I just got out of a near-marriage and now you want to start talking about a long term future.”

“Isn’t that what you do when you’re in a relationship?” Finn asked, his face screwing together in puzzlement.

“Not after three months. Maybe try waiting to see if we last the year!”

“My parents got married after six months together.”

“Your parents divorced, Finn.”

Silence filled the room again. Finn’s gaze fell back to his cuticles and his lips tightened together. His breathing was becoming more erratic the longer the silence continued. Thankfully, Rae broke it quicker than he would’ve.

“I’m not sure if I even want to get married,” she whispered.

Finn’s eyes swept back to her. She’d wrapped her arms around herself in comfort and was leaning against the grey wall. Her face was downcast and he could see a little tear fall down her cheek as she stared at the carpet.

He gulped. “That’s ok.”

Rae’s eyes met his with such a passion that it nearly knocked him off his feet.

“I love you for saying that but I know it’s not what you want. I’ve listened to hours of you wittering on about wanting the perfect family with three kids and a cat.”

Finn opened his mouth to interrupt her but she put her hand up in silent protest.

“I don’t know if I want that. Part of me does but a bigger part of me wants adventure. I want to travel the world and meet indigenous people. I want to become a big radio presenter or a kid’s books author. I want to be the best teacher I can be… I want to be so many things that I’m scared that being a mum and a wife would just swallow all those things up.”

“I never expected you to be those two things,” Finn said.

“Yes but you want those things… and I’m not sure I can give them to you.”

The room was quiet again. Finn stared at her and she avoided his eyes as she opened her mouth to speak again.

“I don’t think we’re compatible.”

“Don’t say that.” Finn’s heart was in his throat.

“Why not?” She asked, looking back at Finn with bloodshot eyes.

 “Because it’s all bollocks and y’know it.”

“Leave, please,” she said as she looked away from him.

Her face was stony, her lips pressed together so tightly they were almost white with rage. Finn stood up, willing her to look back to him one more time. If only he could just catch her gaze then he could bring her round. He could convince her that he would do anything for her. Anything.

But she didn’t look back to him and instead kept her stony face staring straight ahead. Finn walked down the hallway which led to the front door and paused. He turned back to look at her and fury once again filled his words.

“You don’t want to admit you’re fucking Ben again.”

Rae stiffened up even more than Finn had thought possible. Her eyes finally reached his and all he could see was hatred and anger.

“I am single.” She stated. “I am allowed to sleep with or see whoever I want. It is my business and not yours. Please leave, I don’t want you here anymore.”

Finn lingered for a couple of moments in the hallway, afraid to break eye contact with her. He knew that the minute he did, there would be no going back. He didn’t want to lose her but it seemed inevitable at this point.

“FUCK OFF,” she shouted.

So he did.

It wasn’t until he reached home that he realised that he’d ran the whole way, tears streaming down his face and anger burning in his heart. 

Words on paper don’t mean much
when someone can’t read them
and words rolling off the tongue
mean absolutely nothing if

The question resonates in my mind,
“What are you doing with your life?”
and my answer is the same,
“I don’t know.”

What I know is I am writing about
the things money can’t buy me,
and the problems a college education
will not, and cannot fix,
and preaching what society says
but has not done.

What are you doing with your life? Where are you going?

Well, my feet are pointed north,
and I walk on the streets of big cities, and I pass
by the homeless people on the sidewalk,
rags of torn up dreams and broken hopes
and I ask myself, “Where did they go wrong?”

Did they take a right turn instead of a left turn
and go down the wrong street and were they
too stubborn to turn back or ask for directions?
Or better yet did they ask for directions in a small
town, full of wise men in white-collar suites and
they laugh and purposely point them the wrong way?

Where am I going? Right now I am going to to the store,
and then I will go to the bank and take out another twenty
to buy some coffee and perhaps I’ll give a dollar
to the man begging on the corner with a sign,
“Just lost my job. Need help to get on my feet”
but he has been sitting there for months.

I don’t know if I am going left or right,
or down the high path or the low road,
and I keep moving my feet,
one step, two step, three steps, four–
the whole way people asking,
“where are you going?”

I am going where the stars go
when the night sky fades
and I am going where thought go
when they haven’t been said,
and I am going wherever ideas go
when they die, and rest forgotten.

“What are you going to do
when you graduate?”

Well words don’t mean much
if I can’t read them to those who can’t,
and they mean even less,
if I can’t make them mean something
to someone who has nothing.
Words mean nothing if we cannot
support with them with action.

“I don’t know where I am going
in life, but I will let you know
when I get there.”


—  What are you doing with your life? By Amanda Katherine Ricketson (Akr)

anonymous asked:

Juat had my Cockles op - my friend & I were #2 & 3 in line, so we were waiting about 5 feet from them, & they were whispering together with big grins on their faces, then Jensen pulled back and said "what's the over-under on that, I wonder?" I would kill for context, but thought you'd like to know! Whether or not someone tinhats them, they are obviously VERY comfortable around each other & there's obvious fondness, so I have no idea wtf people are thinking when they say they dislike each other!!

True Fact

Bigfoot does exist, but nobody has ever managed to catch him, because whenever they get close, Bigfoot says “you know what they say about big feet?” and the people are seduced and sleep with Bigfoot, that charmer. 


hi guys this is my first imagine that is not a text so I’m sorry if this is horrible 


    Michael and I have been best friends for 7 years. we met in 8th grade while in gym class we were running laps next thing you know i trip over Michael and we both fall on top of each other, i called him a dick head and then our friendship blossomed from there.

     Im still in collage but Michael is in a band with 3 other guys who I’m also good friends with. Michael and i share an apartment close to the studio and close to my school so it works out perfect.

“michael ill be back in a few hours” i say, I’m going out to dinner with my boyfriend of 1 year and 3 months. Michael isn’t very fond of him because of past things he did to me i caught him cheating and we talked about it now we’re going to dinner to make things better.

“where are you going all fancy pretty lady” Michael says smirking. 

“I’m going out with matt i told you earlier” i scoff at michael and playfully hit him on the arm for not paying attention. “and I’m not dressed fancy!’’, i was wearing a nice dark red dress that hugged my body nice, its the only dress that makes me look like i have a butt, i had black heels and my hair was in soft curls and my makeup was very natural. i guess i did look pretty fancy.

“why are you still dating that prick you can do better he’s nothing but a cheating asshole” Michael rolls his eyes

yeah he did cheat but people change right?

“Michael people change i know you don’t like him but please don’t talk about him like that ok I’m trying to forgive him and make things better” i say he then looks at his feet.

“fine” he scoffs “I’m sorry i just don’t want to see you hurt again” 

“ill be fine Michael I’m a big girl” i don’t understand why he’s so protective

“so what time is he picking you up i might have the guys over”

“i have to walk there he says be there at 6:00″ ill admit I’m pretty annoyed he’s not picking me up

 “hes making you walk why can’t he pick you up! god he’s such a dick” i can hear the annoyance in his voice


“sorry, you’d better get going its almost time have fun you look great” he said smiling at me

“oh shit right,” i say flustered “thanks Mikey” i smile and give him a peck on the cheek


I arrived at the restaurant 2 minutes before 6:00 i didn’t see Matt i figure he was just a little late i walked in to see  if he was there but he wasn’t a waiter came over and asked if i was ok i told him i was waiting for someone i walked over to the bar to wait next thing you know it was 6:30 i called and texted Matt but he didn’t respond nor answer but then i heard someone call my name i turned and it was him, finally.

“hey y/n” he says and gives me a peck on the lips “sorry I’m late some stuff came up” he said and then our waiter shows us our table

Matt talked about the cheating and apologized and we made up we shared small talk about work, school and other things until i saw it. something red on his neck followed by little marks, he had hickeys that were kissed with bright pink lipstick.

“umm M-matt what is that on your-r neck” i asked my voice cracked and i felt tears begin to fill up my eyes

“shit”  he says in a monotone voice “its not what it looks like!”

i got up and walked out the door he followed and grabbed my arm and swung me around i was centimeters from his face 

“baby I’m sorry its not what it looks like i promise we talked about this” he gritted his teeth and had a tighter grip on my arm it kinda was hurting me

“fuck off and leave me alone” i whisper but loud enough for him to hear i looked at my feel and realized his zipper was down and his shirt wasn’t even tucked In properly thats when i let the tears escape. i walked away to him calling my name but then he was telling me I’m a bitch and a whore etc.


i got to the apartment as the guys were leaving i stayed in the hallway until they walked to the elevator so they wont see me crying. I then stormed into the apartment slamming the door kicking my heels off. Iwent to run to my bedroom but i ran into Michael in the hallway almost knocking him into the wall.

“y/n whats wrong are you crying” he said I could tell he was worried he moved a piece of hair behind my ear

“H-he did it again he fucked her again first he was late then i s-saw a hickey then he tried to explain but then i left, Michael you were right he’s a asshole and i hate him!” i sobbed, michael pulled me into a hug i was a mess sobbing onto his chest

“y/n I’m sorry he’s an asshole and he doesn’t deserve you, you are much better then him”

“why does this stuff happing to me Mikey is there something wrong with me” i said loudly i continued to cry i felt Michael tighten his grip then life my head so i could look at him

“y/n there is nothing wrong with you, you are amazing ok? your gonna find someone to love you i guarantee” he then kissed my forehead “do you wanna come watch movies there is still some pizza left”

“i just wanna be alone right now michael but thanks” i said with a small smile and hugged him again 

“ok well ill be in the living room if you need me”

“ok” i said wiping my tears 

“everything gonna be ok Y/n” he said giving me a sympathetic look

i then walked in my room and collapsed on the bed crying. 


ok i wrote this a while ago and every time i tried to put it on my master list  couldn’t find part 2 nor do i remember what happen in part 2 or if there even was a part 2 maybe i just mis counted somehow so i kind just added on to this so the “third” actually second part made sense sorry xx

Saving a life
What saved her from suicide was our water gutter.

I look up from my rice bowl.

My relatives are laughing about how they’re good people for installing that water gutter, how the woman was an unhappy bride, how maybe she really did just slip and fall. Or not. More laughter.

On my right, my dad is silent and continues to eat. I avoid eye contact, though he’s not looking at me either.

On my left, my mother says a little too loudly, “Sarah! Why aren’t you asking us what we’re talking about?”

“I know what you’re talking about,” I reply quietly. 

She gives a hard laugh. “Well, we’re talking about chicken feet, not someone’s suicide!” 

More laughter at the table. The lump in my throat is too big to swallow now.

I excuse myself quietly and make my way down the hallway.

My head is pounding and the hallway is moving.

I slip into a room, slide down against the wall, and try not to think about anything as much as possible.

My dad comes in a few minutes later, looks at me, and goes to his computer.

I bury my face in my hands as the tears begin to flow.

How old is the woman? Why did she jump? 

“Up, Sarah. Let’s go to the house to pack.”

I get up and follow my dad to the elevator. He drives my sister and me back to one of the houses that my grandfather owns. 

I wonder if she has kids. I wonder if she has friends who know what happened. I wonder if it would be acceptable to Taiwanese people or to my parents for me to visit her at the hospital… 


I jerk from my thoughts. Yes, I heard, I’m sorry. Go upstairs and unlock the door, hold the door open, make sure security is through, lock everything. 

"Concentrate, Sarah” is that military-like tone that I know is implying many other things that he won’t bring up.

“Yes, dad.”

Molly and I carry the baggage to the front door and I hear the overused phrase ”Mei Nu!” or “beautiful lady”, in Mandarin, often just used as a polite greeting for women in Taiwan.

I turn to see the apartment gatekeeper lady waving me over. She hands me a slip of paper, a Buddhist token, that is meant to ward off evil.

I look into her eyes, hold her hand, and ask about the lady on the floor right above ours. It was not an accident, and no, she’s not okay.


The tone is angry this time. I don’t look into my dad’s eyes because I know what he’s going to say.

“Do you know what your holding in your hand?”

Yes, dad. I know what it is. But that’s not the biggest problem here right now. At least people from other religious faiths are responding in a more concerned way. At least people are responding at all. 

“Yes." I try to say something more substantial to explain my rationale to him, my voice gets caught in my throat.

I try to make up for it by taking the heaviest bag from his hand.

My sister and I pile ourselves and the luggage into the house and press the 7th floor button.

"Hey, Molly, is dad coming up too?”

“No”, she replies. “Why?”

“Okay.” I break down in the elevator.

My sister cannot understand, and I know that, so I let myself sob.

“What’s wrong, Sarah?” she asks.

“It’s ok, Molly. I’ll tell you one day." I know that day will never come and that she won’t ask.

She shrugs and goes into the house as I unlock it.

I place the luggage carefully in the rooms as Molly goes to open her Nintendo DS. How I wish, sometimes, that I could be like that and not understand most of the things that happen around me.

I stumble down the hallway, and let it all out. The walls are spinning as I go, as I cry and all I can think about is the woman. 

And finally, the flashback happens and I am no longer 20 years old, but 10…


"Sarah! Get up!" 

My eyes open and fear grips me immediately.

I hate waking up more than anything in the world. And I hate going to school. 

"Is this yours?” one of the tall kids will ask.

“Yes.” I will reply.

Then he will tear apart my belongings and throw pieces of it around the classroom. “Sucker.”


“Stop looking so sad. I hate looking at your sorry face every day. You really just make me want to kill myself!”

I tremble before her and wait until I’m allowed to go to my room.


Kill yourself, ugly. Do it, worthless child. Do it.”

The knife is worn. But it will leave a mess. Not yet.


From a building, that will be better.

I’m small, it’s a public concrete road that is cleaned often. This one. 

“No, Sarah.”

My foot stops in midair.

“Sarah, come back. You are mine.”

I can barely catch myself. No one is there on this abandoned floor.

Who was that, then?

And deep down I know the answer.

I’ve always known the answer, even though I hated church and hated the people I knew that called themselves Christians but did nothing to help other people in the world. I know because despite my depression, I can see the beauty of the design of nature, painted by Hands that must be divine. I know because despite everything, I know that the ache in my heart needs to be filled by this Being.

“Sarah, stop. Come back. You are mine.”

And for some reason, I don’t refuse this voice.

So unlike the voice that I’ve been hearing my whole life, so full of.. love and wonder, like the way someone speaks to someone that they are so crazy in love with. I cannot refuse this voice, my body feels like it will not be able to anyone else anymore. I wonder how many other people have heard it and stopped themselves from jumping.

Tears fall and I let the feeling wash over me, the beginning of many moments captured by such embrace that will ensue in the three years to come where I battle depression with a different strength and find that the voice belongs to someone named Jesus Christ, who actually died for me to live.


When I was 17 and disagreeing with my dad about my college path because I wanted to study psychology and he wanted me to choose something more practical, he asked me, “Why psychology?”

I told him that I wanted to be there for people who didn’t have anyone. I told him that I related to those kids when I was younger. He shook his head.

“Don’t choose a career path based on what you think it is.”

“But, dad, did you ever struggle with depression?”


“Then it’s hard for you to understand. You didn’t even notice that I had depression when I was younger.”

“Yes, I did.”

Silence. His reply hits me like a ton of bricks and I swallow.

“You did?”

He nodded without saying a word.

“Then…” I try to think of asking the question without sounding accusing.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

He didn’t say anything to me right then, either. 

My parents love me. I know that.  But sometimes, I just want them to stop arguing and take a moment to look at the things we really need to work on as a family.

I remember the dark days, but like the way one remembers a familiar old friend that passed away rather than remembering like the old me, since the old me has died so long ago.

But as I lost it for a few moments in my grandfather’s vicinity, I realized that I needed to share the background of what I’m about to say.

Depression/suicidal thoughts are not your fault.

Not your fault.

It wasn’t your intention to feel crappy about yourself, the world, or the people around you. It never was and never will be. Depression is a mystery to most people, because it can develop independently of circumstances, meaning that you can be the most well fed, well dressed, well liked person in a community but still struggle with depression. 

For myself, I didn’t have exactly have any of those characteristics, but my depression was connected to a long history of not being able to talk to anyone about how I felt, feeling low self-worth, and not feeling any sense of belonging anywhere that I went.

It’s not because I decided that I wanted to hate myself. It just happened. But yes, I was responsible for wanting to take my life, and because no one was there to stop me, God had to.

Why can’t we realize that we need to focus our efforts towards loving people where they need it the most?

Depression needs to be addressed. 

We make the difference.

Though God found me up there on the verge of jumping to my death, it was His Body that got me through depression through every conversation and act of love. I believe God wants us to remember that we are His hands and feet on earth.

People, both in the household and in the church, shouldn’t be laying aside their part by pretending like God is the only worker.

He clearly commands us to pull up our sleeves and embrace the broken people that are in our lives.

For all of us, we need to realize that not every family in the world knows how to love and take notice of children that are ignored and hurting. 

We need to realize that there might not be someone else who will notice the problems and do something about it. There’s a reason you saw it first.

I don’t think I owe most people, to be honest. But the one Person I owe in life paid the debt that I owed. Now, I’m living a life that is full of mistakes and imperfect actions. But I’m living my life for the One who stretched out His hands for me when I could not for myself.

It may have been a water gutter that saved the life of this woman that just so happens to live above my parents in that house.

But next time, it won’t be that kind of save that works.

Next time, it will be the pang we feel inside to talk to someone, and when we think that it’s not a big deal to reach out… think again. Pray. Move.

Next time, God is expecting us all to move as His hands and feet.