you know what is better than wifi

Need a pick-up?

♡As you all know, Valentines is just around the corner, BUT do you know just how to go about it? Here’s 25 pick up lines that MAY or MAY NOT work♡

1. I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me

2. My phone has an error, it might fix it if you give me your number

3. Feel my sweater, know whats it’s made of? Boyfriend material.

4. When you kiss someone for a minute, you burn 2.6 calories. Wanna burn some calories with me?

5. Aye are you a pokemon? ‘Cause you’re a catch!

6. I think we have a connection stronger than my wifi

7. Do you have a library card? ‘Cause i’ve been checking you out

8. Are you full of Beryllium, gold and titanium? ‘Cause you are Be-Au-Ti-Ful

9. Are you from outer space? You’re out of this world

10. Are you sitting on the F5 key? Because your butt is refreshing

11. Hey baby, you better call life alert because i’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up

12. I’m not a photographer but I can picture us together

13. Girl, i’ve got a gold ring with your name on it

14. I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can sure make your bed rock!

15. You must be the cause of global warming because you’re hot

16. Am I cute yet? Or do you need more to drink?

17. Excuse me, but i’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your place?

18. You must be a bacon burger because you’re bacon me crazy

19. Are you an appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out

20. I lost my number, can I have yours?

21. You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life

22. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

23. If you were a triangle, you’d be an acute one

24. Ever heard of princesses? You have my number if you want to be treated like one.

25. Can I have your pictures so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

Annnnnnd I hope these make your day a little happier :D

Girl, I guess {TVD 8x16 Review}

OK guys, this is the last time I will have to warn the TVD fandom about writing in real time! Here it goes: You all know the drill, I write my thoughts in real time which means if I make any mistakes at the beginning of my review, I might have rectified them at the end. This will include: anti-Damon, anti-Delena, anti-Steroline, anti-Bamon, anti-Bonenzo sentiments. It will most likely reference other TV shows including Kdramas and may include observations of the show’s anti-blackness and racism. Are you ready? Let’s. Go. 

1. That SC kiss is still awful. Slow-mo it all you want guys, it’s just going to accentuate how awful it was.

2. Kinda salty that the hotel’s wifi isn’t much better than the data on my phone.

3. Seriously, Vicki and Kelly being in hell makes no sense.

4. “The magic was too much for her” HOW THOUGH? Bonnie did way more strenuous magic in freaking season 2. LIKE?

5. “No no no no no”, Stefan is panicking that Bonnie might be dead and Caroline’s just like, Oh. I know we all talk about how Paul has checked out but what the fuck has Candice been doing?

6. So like why is Elena in a random ass wood in a random ass white bed? Is this what Bonnie’s world looks like? Because I thought it was a rundown Mystic Grill.

7. Nina’s wig is AWFUL.

8. How would Elena seeing Bonnie make Elena think Bonnie is dead though? Like, isn’t it just that if Bonnie dies, Elena wakes up? Who said anything about meeting each other in a random ass forest before Bonnie dies?

9. So Elena doesn’t even blink an eye when Bonnie tells her “I can be with Enzo now”? Like she just accepts that her friend is going to die to be with someone who was an enemy when Elena was awake?

10. How does Enzo have the power to bring Bonnie back to life? Is Enzo an angel? LIKE? Rules DO need to exist, Julie.

11. The look of relief on Stefan’s face when Bonnie wakes up is so nice to see.

12. Vicki, stop talking. I also like how no one has tried to tie her up to keep her from ringing the bell. Just because you can’t kill her doesn’t mean you can’t contain her.

13. “I can’t go back there, you don’t know what it’s like” because the show literally hasn’t shown us anything.

14. How predictable is it that the DE reunion is really a DK reunion, oh! Like season 1 when he thought he was kissing Elena! CLEVER. Like 100 anons came into in my inbox like, I bet it’s Katherine, the moment that reunion aired. Well, at least Damon realized it was Katherine this time, you know, after hugging her and being all, “You’re both OK.”

15. It is so tacky they made her say, “Hello brothers.” Like omg, why isn’t it over yet

16. So Katherine is in Elena’s dress. Is Elena just naked somewhere? And she straightened her hair, like how much time did she have to do this?

17. “Her PHYSICAL body” I do miss seeing Paul and Nina onscreen together again, that “so over it” attitude is very reminiscent of season 2 and the delivery was hilarious.

18. Although this Katherine is a little off, she actually seems a little more unhinged, like the way Nina says, “the devil” in that tone and “Why do you think he wanted you? Because I  wanted you. DUH.” Like this is probably the first time I’ve been like so you’re crazy.

19. I don’t know why but Stefan is making me laugh so far. Damon is all “Dammit Katherine” and Stefan’s HAD IT, he’s just like YO let me stab this bitch “We gotta find, Elena, let’s go” and he LEAVES. Like he’s ready to go into battle. It also makes me feel like it’s Paul rushing to finish a scene like, “It’s the last episode, Ian, let’s GO.”

20. CAROLINE. VAMP SPEED. Walking down the stairs with a teddybear all chill and shit.

21. This is so low energy, Alaric and Caroline should be yelling at the top of their lungs, like if you want me to believe this is life or death then the characters needs to be amped, they need to be scared and frenzied, this feels like any other fight in any other episode.

22. Alaric, seriously, demote Caroline to Auntie because that’s how she acts with those twins anyway.

23. At least Katherine took the time to dress Elena in a shirt, a cardigan and jeans. It’s very thoughtful of her.

24. Me at Stefan’s face when he sees Elena on the ground:

25. So Katherine’s hair is suddenly curly again? Does she have superpowers?

26. Oh great. The fact that Katherine said Elena would choose Stefan over Damon just confirms that Elena will in fact choose Damon over Stefan. Just had to spit in the SErs’ faces one last time, I guess.

27. Lol watch Katherine actually be Silas getting into everyone’s heads and voicing their deepest fears. Again.

28. I want to feel something about this SC scene but I’m legit bored. “Please, please don’t make me leave you, please,” was sweet. That’s about it.

29. Like I’ve seen Stefan emotionally distraught at having to part ways with Elena:

and I know SErs are upset over the “I love you so much” but it’s not this:

30. It really doesn’t feel like the “world” is coming to an end, everyone is actually pretty chill. Like the season 2 finale of Buffy was the world ending (again) and everyone is freaking the fuck out:

and this is just like, Elena is unconscious, Matt allows Vicki to ring a bell that will bring hellfire and there’s the slowest evacuation in the world. We don’t even see randoms freaking out in the street. Whatever.

31. Of course Bonnie is staying behind.

32. “Downtown Mystic Falls”, I mean I guess. As the crow flies? WHO WROTE THIS. You are NOT in Lord of the Rings.

33. So I’m confused about this plan, Bonnie is going to redirect hell fire through the tunnels away from MF into hell … so these tunnels lead into hell? Bonnie knows where hell is? The fire won’t destroy the tunnels?

34. Aw, Paul is acting! But yeah his speech to Damon is meh because Damon doesn’t deserve shit.

35. Considering that vampire blood can’t work on people who have ingested the cure, why would compulsion?

36. Why would I care about a Donovan family reunion?

37. So Grams is still around even though the Other Side is gone?

38. Bonnie pulled a Gandalf. “You shall not pass.”

39. Sorry, it was supposed to be a powerful scene but like nah.

40. So a bunch of black women who I’m guessing are the Bennett clan are pushing the hell fire away to protect a town that does not acknowledge their existence. Mmkay.

41. “He’s the better man, he’s the right man.” LOL EXCEPT NOT. HOW? Because he was FINALLY willing to sacrifice himself after almost two centuries?

42. He probably whispered something about loving Caroline to Elena.

43. I feel like I’m supposed to be sad that Stefan is dead but like I’ve seen this coming for a while.

44. LOL Magic School/Hogwarts where Jeremy teaches, this is SO BAD.

45. I’m sorry but these “peaces” just look like individual prison worlds.

What an AWFUL series finale, like it was SO BAD. I can’t even, I mean it’s laughably bad but like THIS is how you’re ending a supernatural series? WHAT DID I JUST WATCH? Nothing happened! Stefan sacrifices himself to make sure Katherine’s in hell when the fire comes but he dies when the fire goes through the tunnels so why wouldn’t Katherine just be dead if they kept her tied down in the tunnels when the fire came? And then Caroline and Alaric open a boarding school for magical kids in which Jeremy teaches for absolutely no reason and Klaus is a donor because why not and Vicki finally achieves nothingness except nothingness is peace with Tyler somewhere even though Tyler basically treated her like trash and the Other Side is gone so how they’re still watching the living is beyond me. And then Bonnie travels the world and that somehow makes her happy as if she hadn’t traveled before. Matt got a bench, good for you Matt. And Elena goes to med school and has a happy life with Damon we don’t see and then they die and each of them spend their peace not with each other and it ends. Like … why tho? How does this make sense as ending? I should’ve been drunk for this. Plus side is, Stefan has still only called Elena the love of his life.

hithering-deactivated20170801  asked:

Joy do you have any advice on how to make yourself sit down and write? (I couldn't find a post you might have made about it, but if you made one sorry for asking!) I have five different things outlined and fiddled with, and a fair few projects that got started and died around 20k words. I can't seem to keep myself interested or focused, and I have a very hard time forming habits enough to write daily. Any advice?

I go through this a lot, either due to mental health stuff (I can literally be screaming internally at myself to do something and my brain just…doesn’t do the thing, like I’m fully capable of it but the message gets lost somewhere between thought and action) and also just plain creative burnt out.

The latter is easier to remedy because I allow myself to rest and let my brain reset by doing something like reading a book, playing a game or visiting somewhere interesting.

The former…not so much.

The thing that helps me the most when I am well and truly struggling to write (so most of the latter half of 2016) is to set myself realistic goals. While some days I can churn out a 5000 word chapter, there are other days when I will struggle to write 5. And on those days five whole words can seem like a god damn epic.

So what I do now is I set myself a goal, every day, of achieving 500 words. 

It doesn’t have to be a good 500 words, or even words that end up in my book, just so long as it is 500 words. Even if you never use them, they still count towards the developmental process of your manuscript. It’s engaging your brain and getting you into the mindset you need to be in in order to turn out the work you want to finish. One of my favorite exercises which I’ve talked about before, is the cafe exercise.

If a story stalls or I start to lose my way with a character, I take them out of their world, and drop them into a cafe somewhere in the world. Doesn’t have to be anywhere interesting, London, Paris, the Starbucks two streets away where the tea tastes like pond swill but the wifi is free*. I let them people watch, I let their senses meander through new experiences, the smell of coffee, the copper tang of their change lingering on their fingers from the coins, the sharpness of their tea, the mellowness of the flowers behind them, the way the light makes things look like they’re not quite real, the sound of traffic, the ugly sweater that person is wearing, the way they feel right then and now. I let them have silly conversations. I do all the inane little things with them that humans enjoy doing without the stress of over arcing plot (and we wonder why there’s so many coffee shop AUs) and just generally…gives you a break from your own world, while still letting you develop your characters and practice writing. And that’s the main thing.

And you do need to be in a habit of writing every day. It’s a skill that needs to be used every day, and it has to become habit otherwise it withers and dies. Great plot was never completed by talent alone. Even Stephen King, master of writing entire novels in mere days, had a dry spell where he thought he’d never write again.

It doesn’t have to be prolific and it doesn’t have to be profound.  The wheel is already invented. Fire is discovered. You’re not trying to be original (I hate that word) what you are in fact trying to be is interesting. You are trying to engage and light up the parts of the human brain that says “hey do you know what would be cool, if the wheel was on fire.”

And if the 500 words isn’t going to be achievable, well, I allow myself 250. Because any progress is better than none, and tomorrow I will try again.

(*If you suffer like I do at the mercy of your own inability to focus, fucking turn wifi off. Just, don’t let yourself get bogged down by shiny. Don’t start writing then go “oh actually I should look that up”. Make a mark in your document to go back to it later during a rewrite and insert the relevant researched info afterwards, it doesn’t fucking matter on the first write, you’re just trying to tell yourself the story and get the lay of the land right now, you can fill in the interesting tourist info spots after we’re sure we’re not about to walk off the edge of a cliff.)

That’s What I like

Words: 781
SONG FIC: That’s What I Like - Bruno Mars
Tony Stark x Reader
Request:
“Could I request a Tony x Reader to the song “That’s What I Like” by Bruno Mars where maybe Tony wants to woo the reader with all of the things mentioned in the song, but really she’d settle for something simple?”
- @cajunlizard


It was a Saturday morning. You were laying in bed with Tony. Your head was resting on his chest. He was holding you close to him, and tracing tiny circles on your arm. This was your happy place. Nestled in that sweet spot between the sheets and his arms. There was no Iron Man suit in the bedroom. There wasn’t really an Iron Man either, there was only Tony Stark. It was like laying next to a different person when the two of you were alone. Completely void of cameras, journalist and the other Avengers, Tony Stark acted like a perfectly normal human being. Most of the time.

“What do you want to do today, Sweetheart?” He asked you before stretching down and kissing the top of your head.

“Anything, as long as I’m with you.” You yawned. “Maybe see a movie, or walk in the park?”

“Walk in the park?” He repeated. You could practically feel his eyebrows raise above your head.

Hey, hey, hey, I got a condo in Manhattan. Baby girl, what’s happin’? You and your ass invited!

“You do know who you’re talking to right?” Tony scoffed. “We could literally do anything.” He complained. “Why would you want to just go to the park?”

“I didn’t know you disliked the outdoors so much, Mr. Stark.” You mocked him while barely lifting up your head.

Keep reading

nur du.

Originally posted by sugutie

nur du; only you in German

“I don’t know what do at this point any more. I think we should break up; it would be for the better.”

“No, you’re not leaving me, not when there’s so many ways we could do this without a breakup.”

“I don’t think there is, I’m sorry, I love you but I can’t keep doing this to myself.”

genre: angst, romance

word count: 2k (1,999)

a/n: my german is rusty so idk if that’s correct i was torn between du/dich, lemme know if im wrong or right :)

Relationships are never easy, you could easily say they were my kind of thing. I’ll get ready for the next cliche, they won’t my thing until I met him, I started to believe in love because of him but I started to forget what it was like to be loved because of him as well. Jungkook was the man of my dreams, he was everything I wanted and more. However, he no longer had the time for me nor the patience.

“Listen, I know you’re a busy person but could you at least try to make time for me. I don’t want to be clingy but it’s been far too long since we’ve been on a date, do you know how long it’s been? It’s been six months.” you said to him but he paid you no attention. “Why am I even here? You tell me to come over, only to ignore me like you have been for the past few months; do you even know what’s been happening in my life?” you questioned him as you reached to grab your jacket, preparing to leave, only minutes after you arrived.

“Sure, I do. You act.” he monotonously replied to you, not even moving an inch from his position on the sofa. “Jungkook, I got the role in a KBS Drama, do you know how big of a deal that is? Of course, you don’t. You didn’t even know that I auditioned, did you?” you said, laughing in disbelief at the remains of your relationship. Silence. “I feel like I’m the only one fighting for us and it hurts, where have you been all this time? Your friends are more interested in me and you are; even when I got my role in the drama, they congratulated me, took me out to have a celebratory meal, and you didn’t. Do you understand how much that hurt me? You’re supposed to be my boyfriend not them.” you were on the verge of screaming but you internalised those emotions in order to not cause a scene.

“Why don’t you just date them? You seem to spend more time with them anyway.” “I don’t want them! I want you but you can’t even clear one day for me.” you shouted, this time holding back the tears that were threatening to flow out of your eyes. “Okay, when are you next free?” he asked, not a care in his voice. “Not for another five months, you would’ve known that if you had actually spoken to me. I have to fly out of the country for the drama.” you said, calming yourself down with the thought of being able to get away. “Then what am I supposed to do about this? I don’t have time, you don’t have time. What’s your solution?” he said, this time actually putting the effort in to face you.

“I don’t know what do at this point any more. I think we should break up; it would be for the better.” you suggested. “No, you’re not leaving me, not when there’s so many ways we could do this without a breakup.” he sternly replied. “I don’t think there is, I’m sorry, I love you but I can’t keep doing this to myself.”


Keep reading

Voltron Characters as Shit I've Said/Done pt. 3

Part 1 Part 2

Shiro: I think space understands me better than people do.

Keith: My Chemical Romance didn’t need to split and I’m still complaining about it.

Lance: All this attention that I don’t want, but desperately need. Who am I kidding, I asked for this.

Hunk: I’m only this big because my body holds all the love I have for my friends.

Pidge: You may be right, but at least I know the wifi password.

Matt: Get in the car kid, we’re going to Burger King.

Allura: Wait, what? Is that a new meme? Should I be concerned?

Coran: Hello children, what’s happening in the world of the youth?

Lotor: Without my hair I am nothing but a shell of my former self.

Alfor: You can’t make me change my mind. *Feels guilty after a minute.* Okay, you can have an ice cream, but don’t tell your mom.

anonymous asked:

you would do very well in nature, but probably not on that show. it is not made for people who know what they are doing. that would be a different show where you educate people on how to know what they are doing and that would be interesting and i would like to watch it much better than the people who do not know what they are doing.

Yep. They like people who don’t quite know what they’re getting into, because it makes for better TV. 

The biggest problem with dropping me into the Pacific Northwest is that when everyone else dropped out I’d still be in my tree hut like “Nah I’m fine up here just leave the suitcase filled with cash I’ll stay if it’s all the same to you.” 

“Ma’m but you can go home now.” 

“I mean yeah but I now have wifi up here so I’m good.” 

things Wash is trying to convince Doyle of:
-his natural hair is awesome so he should stop stressing about brushing it back all the time
-the X-Ray Chronicles were way better than the Vav Special comics
-cats are awesome and it’s not weird if he brings Ari over with him for their sleepovers
-Edgar was the best rival mafia boss the Fake AH Crew ever faced
-Okay Yang totally has a crush on Neo, come on dude, look at this fight scene there’s so much sexual tension there

generaldoyles requested some platonic Wash and Doyle and what a great request it was! Sorry this is up a little later than planned, the wifi in my house was down for a few days. But also, do you know how many sweaters are owned between the two of them??? Too many, I’m sure.

follow for more!

Sharkaroo red room kiss #1 & nice long hug.  DWTS 20x04 (Most Memorable Year), 04/06/2015, during Michael’s critique.  Clip from original video. 

It’s much quicker for me to upload the video than to figure out how to make cleaner gifs.  Go ahead and clip, crop, gif or whatever.  I’ll just share what I find from my small array of All Access (or livestream) clips.  If I feel differently, I’ll let you know. 

Just a warning:  I have crappy wifi and an unsophisticated recording system.  Any suggestions / recommendations to make things better for you (without costing me more time or money) is always welcomed. 

Ladybug and Chat Noir are not mere "Characters”

The real reason why I don’t want LB and CN to be akumatized is because I feel like we should see Ladybug and Chat Noir as the definition and symbolism of what it means to be a Hero. They are the ideal that people would like to be

But I am not putting them in a pedestal. Because in the end, heroes are indeed humans. What I just mean to say is that being Ladybug and Chat Noir is not about being put in a pedestal…

It’s an honor.

It’s a title given to the people who can control the akuma inside them. It’s the title given to people who would never wish to hurt others, despite all the harshness they had been through. It’s the title given to people who wants to have the power to save people from their demons, and won’t condemn them for their mistake.

And having all these traits is what it truly means to be a Hero. It’s not simply about saving others and fighting for Justice. Because when you fight someone, you are hurting them. You only ended up creating more hate. You never solved anything. This is shown by our favorite akumatized villains: Lady Wifi, Evillustrator, and RogerCop, are all people fighting thinking that what they are doing is right. They thought that what they are doing is right. They thought they are serving justice.

But these people didn’t receive the title of Hero. Why?

Because they let their hate take over them. They let their anger to control their actions and judge on people. They fight for what they think is Justice. They hurt others for hurting others.

Ladybug and Chat Noir are the true Heroes. Why?

Because they never let their hate take over them. They don’t judge for what they think is Justice. They try their best to understand the pain in others. And it’s because they understand that everybody has their own pain that they want to heal and soothe it. They don’t fight. They save.

And this has been shown in the Lady Wifi episode.

Tikki: Are you really going to be fine with fighting your bestfriend?

Marinette: I’m not fighting her. I’m saving her.

Tikki is supposed to be the one saying that “saving” is different from “fighting”. She’s the Hero’s wise mentor! But somehow, Marinette knows much better than Tikki (who’s supposed to be the one to teach her that wisdom).  Marinette is the one who corrected her of the difference between “saving” and “fighting” instead of the other way around!

And it’s because of this that now I think that the reason why Tikki is so proud at Marinette for being the chosen Ladybug is because she’s quick to understand the true meaning of what it means to be a Hero… That saving is what Hero’s do.

And fighting people is not saving. It’s not heroic to fight because she isn’t saving people. That’s not what Justice is about (Marinette’s implication in RogerCop and Evillustrator episode). Serving Justice is not about fighting for the injustice that was done. She deemed fighting as bad. And I think this is the reason why she had this view that Evillustrator is a bad guy. Not only because he is akumatized, but because he decide to hurt Chloe instead. That’s not what serving Justice is for her. That’s why she asked Nathaneal why is he being a villain when he is such a good guy.

But Evillustrator only answered that he is only serving Justice to Chloe … and Marinette realized that she won’t get through to him because he’s only doing what he think is right.

This is also why she is so merciless at betraying Evillustrator.

Because she just wants to hurry up and get rid of the Evillustrator (the evil akuma in Nathaneal), to turn him back into a good guy. She is not deeming him bad. But his actions are villainous (even if Chloe do deserve it). This is also why she thinks it’s unfair that she’s being compared to Chloe. She was just doing her actions because she knew that she was only doing what is right (Chloes isn’t. She’s just being plain selfish).

Ladybug and Chat Noir are not mere characters…

They are Symbols.

They are an Honorary Title given to people who can understand that letting an akuma control your decisions is bad. Because trying to drive your point by hurting others is not Justice, it’s villainous.

They don’t fight, they save. And they save people by stopping the chain of pain and hate. There wasn’t any hate around (no one was even blaming at the akumatized citizens) because Ladybug and Chat Noir will be the ones to cleans their sins. Ladybug will just undo all the pain they received, so they have no right to hate anymore. That is why Paris is so at peace. Everyone trusts Ladybug and Chat Noir are the Heroes who will always be there to save the day. 

Ladybug and Chat Noir serves as Symbol of Peace.

And this is why Adrien and Marinette are so proud when they are in their counter-egos.

So what if everyone are just humans to feel pain? So what if Heroes can be imperfect too and has right to feel pain and sorrow? The good thing about LB and CN’s symbolism as a hero is that it doesn’t tell you that hero’s are this perfect beings. It tells you that despite imperfection, you can still be a Hero by never intending to hurt others intentionally. Whether you think it’s justice or not, it’s never right to hurt others.

And this is being shown through Marinette and Adrien.

We are humans that feel hate. We can get selfish. We can unintentionally hurt others for our careless actions. But we can still live out our ideals by trying our best to be like Ladybug and Chat Noir. If you can’t, don’t worry! You’re not a bad guy. Ladybug and Chat Noir will be there to save the day!

By living out the ideal example of LB and CN, I think this is when the world will truly be at peace. This is how we can attain World Peace. This is how we can make a world without hate and prejudice. You can hate, but please don’t let this be a reason to hurt others. You will only create a chain of hate. You are only ending up making an endless cycle of pain. 

If you want an ideal world, where there is no hate, where there is no pain. If you want to have the True Peace. Everyone should learn to live like Marinette and Adrien, the current holders of the title of Hero. They are humans like you, but they never let their akumas take over them.

:)

In praise of the EU

I normally make a point of never writing a word without a layer of ironic distance between me and it, because a healthy fear of expressing emotion is both one of the things I love about my country and a reason Britain needs our fellow Europeans to inject a bit of passion and stop us sinking into a pit of oh no it’s fine, really, no, after you. Yes get your national stereotypes here, I’ve got plenty more where that came from!

But if you can bear with a bit of sincerity (and I’m not sure I can but here goes): I care about the European Union. I care about Britain’s continued membership of the European Union, and even if we were spending eleventy trillion pounds a minute to belong or whatever number Boris pulled out of his arse this morning, it would still be worth it. Sure it’s about economics, because nobody makes good decisions when they are unemployed and hungry because there are no good decisions when you’re unemployed and hungry, there’s only surviving. Ask Weimar Germany. And what happened after Weimar Germany is exactly why the EU is about more than economics. It’s about hard-to-quantify wishy-washy liberal ideas like mutual understanding and not blaming that country next door when things are shit, and not being afraid of that country next door because they speak a language you don’t understand and that makes you feel a bit stupid. Maybe they’re talking about you behind your back! Maybe they’re plotting STEAL YOUR JOB and your WIFE and your DOG! And make you drink pints in metric, and eat straight bananas, and have human rights, and not be exploited by your boss!

The EU stands for big things like not letting us fuckwit Europeans (that’s a technical term) start another world war, and it does it in small, boring ways like Erasmus study programmes and H2020 project funding so that people from Slovakia and Greece and Spain and Italy and France can fill in long forms together in strange international English, and give tiny sums of money to small businesses who invent things to make it easier for an ageing population carry on ageing in their own homes rather than expensive institutions, for example. It’s not poetic, it’s not sexy, it’s automatic doors and stoves that turn themselves off and all those people sitting in a stuffy meeting room in Brussels and TALKING to each other with a purpose when they would never have met if it wasn’t for the EU. 

Keep reading

a cure for the weight of the world--2/?

the epilogue fic has been named! sfw, davekat, (other pairings forthcoming) this part is about 1500 words. part 1 is here. still Dave POV at this point. 

You thrash around in the woods for awhile before it gets real obvious you need a new strategy. Some of you are nocturnal and some of you glow in the dark, but no one knows where the fuck this is or what direction to try or where you’re even trying to go. And you are no longer stuck in an actively hostile simulated universe full of ghosts and god-modded NPCs, but you should still stick together.

John’s contribution is, “We’re somewhere that’s in summer. Or spring. Or possibly early fall!”

Jake discerns that you are not in the jungle.

Keep reading

I'm fucking sad.

just…. fuck.
fuck. I’ve gotta get this off my chest.
im watching the dislikes go up and it’s so depressing like… I don’t want to be like “oh gotta protect our baby Calvin” because he’s a grown ass adult who’s not above criticism at all, but I just honestly feel so bad for him right now. Everyone, literally fucking everyone is hating on him right now and if I was him I’d be overwhelmed.
The like to dislike ratio is fucking awful, the comments are absolutely fucking awful, he lost a good amount of subs, his friends or people he’s helped in the past aren’t sticking up for him, every single commentary channel that isn’t his closest friend in the whole wide world is shitting all over him to get those views and retweets, three drama clusterfucks that are fucking him, Fouseytube, absolutely shitty wifi and the stress of moving from one state to another.
OH AND REMEMBER WHEN HE THOUGHT HE COULD RELAX FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS ON VACATION??? Funny joke!!
Fuck mob mentality and fuck bandwagons. I know he fucks up, he’s far from perfect, but what the fuck. I just feel so depressed just as a bystander, I hope he’s doing better than me.

What’s even more depressing is knowing that this week when he uploads more drama videos, this shit is going to multiply by three. I’m so fucking excited. can you hear the sarcasm?

and leafy, I hope you realize there are loyal fans who support you even when the whole world hates you and I honestly just want you to be happy
everyone, please just go leave him a like on it. Even if you disagreed with the video, cause even I criticized it. We don’t need to trend any fucking stupid hashtags for him. The like to dislike ratio is just so fucking bad and the harsh comments have so many fucking likes. I feel so helpless because there’s nothing I can do
okay bye I’m sad now

anonymous asked:

oh my god, you can't call yourself a fan of dan and phil if you're just gonna insult a huge part of the phandom what do you think you're doing? i don't know why people say they feel so included in the phandom and thinks the phandom is like a huge family, when most of it is cocky people who think they are better than everyone else in the phandom and insult the ones who don't agree with them. asshole.

i typed this out on my phone but it wouldnt post bc the wifi is acting up so i have to post it again sigh

if i have to deal with every post having captions like ‘such boyfriends’ and ‘heart eyes howell’ and every youtube comment being ‘OMG AT 3.45 U CAN TOTALLY SEE DAN GLANCING AT PHIL THEYRE DATING’ then you can deal with me saying i dont have patience for phannies. you force the idea of them dating upon them and everyone else in the fandom. even people in other fandoms have to deal with this shit.

i can be a fan of dan and phil without shipping them, just like i can be a fan of any other two people without shipping them, its that easy.

imagine if they arent dating. every comment and post is about them fucking. ??? how the hell would you feel? show some fucking respect. 

also you said i insult people and in the next sentence called me an asshole u fucked urself over pal

if you ship them, that fine. i dont care. but dont comment about it on every post, every video, every gifset. i have friends that ship them a lot. i used to ship them a lot. but there is a difference between shipping and forcing two REAL LIFE PEOPLE TOGETHER.

if they were fictional, that would be fine. theyre characters, they cant get hurt or offended. but these are real life people youre talking about, people with feelings okay.

i wont call out anyone for being a shipper. i will call out people who force it, spam it and harass people who dont agree with the,

quicklikelight  asked:

Consider grad students Derek and Braeden (who have an open relationship) competing to see which one of them can get cute library assistant Scott McCall to kiss them first.

Oooh yeah Anne okay. At first Scott doesn’t even notice anything’s out of the ordinary with them. Everyone knows they’re together (Derek’s getting his MA in History so he can be a middle school teacher, and Braeden’s studying for her MBA because she needs $$$ to fund her Italian leather habit), and they’re a cute, kinda clingy couple who’s almost always snuggled up with each other while they’re studying or whatever, so yeah, Scott’s like, “They’re cute. :)” And that’s all the thought he puts into it. He also thinks they’re the hottest people he’s ever laid eyes on, but that’s neither here nor there.

Until Derek comes up to him at the circulation desk for the third time in as many days asking him–just him–for the WiFi password, the same password that hasn’t changed since the first time Scott told him. Scott thinks Derek might just be a bit forgetful. Midterms are coming up, and everyone’s overloaded with work, so it’s understandable. But Scott’s also no dummy, and he recognizes a pattern when he sees one. As a biology major, he knows all about the scientific method, so it occurs to him to start observing Derek. Mostly for science. Mostly. On the fifth straight day of this, Scott asks Derek if he wants to, maybe, write the password down this time. And Derek smiles shyly, and Scott tries not to freak out over Derek’s fucking bunny teeth. He writes down the password, and Derek takes the paper from him without even looking at it. “Thanks,” Derek says with a lingering look as he heads back to his table with Braeden. Scott says, “No problem” way too late for it to mean anything.

Braeden’s a lot less subtle. She doesn’t even try to hide the fact that she’s checking out Scott’s butt when he bends to straighten books on the lower shelves. He has to squat pretty low to put some returns on a bottom shelf, and Braeden actually whistles. Scott’s about to (very politely) shush her for whistling in a library, but when he catches the hooded look on her face, the slightly upturned mouth…Scott’s ears start burning. She’s even more gorgeous up close, but he can’t let himself dwell on it because Derek’s sitting RIGHT THERE, and-

Well, now that Scott’s paying attention, Derek kinda has an identical look on his face.

WTF 

Keep reading