jay calling me last night really put things together
you see, he is one of those guys who doesnt like to show any emotion other than anger, refers to himself as an asshole, isnt affectionate, isnt ashamed of anything, is very blunt, acts like he doesnt care about anything, doesnt let anyone stop him, etc. so that along with his height (lmao) and his good looks makes him an intimidating person to most people
he was intimidating at first to me because he just seemed too cool but he reached out to me first and we started talking, became friends, and yeah.
but even though we were friends, he doesnt depend on his friends for things so it wasnt like we talked all of the time, it was just ‘we know we’re friends so we dont have to prove that we’re friends by telling each other everything’
and thats okay because im honestly the same way, I dont share everything with my friends, I dont think you NEED to talk to your friends every day to consider them friends, etc.
and now, almost a year later, he still doesnt tell me everything but he will let me know when he’s going through shit. sometimes he explains, sometimes not.
but I have noticed that lately he’s gotten softer and like I learned that he’ll go on and on about his ‘baby’ (his cat) if you let him, that he worries about me when I say I’m gonna go hang out with a guy because he doesnt want anyone to take advantage of me, and that any time i tell him something that my other friends do that kind of hurts me it makes him angry.
he’s started telling me his memories and about his family and stories of things he remembers from a kid.
while he was high the other week he let it slip that he’s been having dreams about me but cant remember what happened
a week after that he told me that he appreciates me and that I mean a lot to him
then theres just a bunch of other little things that made me wonder why he seems to be showing more emotion but none of our other friends ever saw it
then all that last night kind of explained why.
he’s interested in me and wants to know more personal things about me but he knows that I’m not a personal person, I dont share a lot of things with people unless they ask directly so he figured that sharing things about himself would make it easier for me to do that and thats cute