you know the funniest thing

Lucas x dyslexic!reader 2

You were awoken by a sharp pain in your neck. The way the sore area felt when you ran your hand over it made you think that it was bruised. The room was mostly dark, which you were actually thankful for because bright lights probably wouldn’t do anything for your aching head. There was one light right in front of you that light up the room enough for you to make out what was around you, but it was still pretty faint. Once your eyes were able to focus more, you could tell that it was a computer. You pushed yourself off of the floor and walked over to it while you were desperately trying to remember what lead to you being here. One look a the locked computer screen was all you needed to jog your memory. The name Lucas jumped at you like warning sign, and you knew that you needed to get out of here. There were metal doors on either side of the room, neither of which looked inviting, but you had to chooses one of them before Lucas came back here. You dashed to one of the doors and opened it enough to see some sort of lab area, but quickly decided that way was a bad choice when you saw Lucas standing, thankfully with his back turned to you, down a small flight of stairs. Without hesitation you went to the other door and bolted as fast as you could. It was a good thing you left when you did because soon after you were past the metal walk way that lead to a mine like area you heard a very angry, “GOD DAMMIT!” signaling that Lucas just went to look for you.


You weren’t sure where you were going. You were just trying to get as much distance between you and Lucas as physically possible. It was going to be almost impossible to find your way out considering that you struggled with directs anyway and you haven’t even been trying to figure out the direction of the path you were taking, but wandering in a mine for a few days would be way better than being stuck with Lucas. Lucas by himself was bad news, so you couldn’t even imagine what Lucas with a lab would be like. You kept running until you reached a dead end. There was a blockade of some sort that was made out of logs. There was probably a way to break off a piece or squeeze through, but you weren’t sure if there would be enough time to do either before Lucas caught up with you. There was only seconds before Lucas found you, so you had to hide quickly. There was a small structure that was supposed to stop mine cars that went down the track, but it had a big empty space so there was no way that you’d be able to hide there. Suddenly, you spotted a large bolder right behind the structure in the caved in part of the tunnel. There was enough space between it and the rocks behind it that you were able to fit where Lucas shouldn’t be able to see you. You quickly climbed the rock pile and got yourself into position before working on calming down your breathing. This whole thing would be for naught if you let heavy breathing give away your hiding spot.


Soon the sound of rapid crunching could be heard as Lucas ran on the gravely pathway that lead to the area where you were. You did your best to quiet your breathing even more than you already were in an effort to make it almost soundless. The crunching of the gravel and the sound of Lucas cussing under his breath could be heard constantly for about five minutes as he looked around the area. You were about ready to throw up because you were sure that he would find you at any minute. A wave of relief washed over you when the sound of his steps went back towards the path and eventually disappeared, signaling to you that he was gone. You crawled out of your handing spot and brushed the dust off of yourself. Lucas might be gone for right now, but there was no telling when he would come back. There was one thing that you were sure of; you were NOT going to be here when he did. Looking at the area in more detail now that you weren’t as pressed for time, you noticed that there was a gap in the log blockade that was considerably bigger that the others. That was your ticket out of here! You went to the gap and started to push yourself through. All was going well. You were going to get through here, leave Lucas behind, go find Zoe and Mia, and…and…you were stuck.


You totally misjudged the width of the gap, and now you were stuck with half of your body on one side and the other half on the side you started on. “Okay…” You sigh to yourself in an effort to keep yourself calm. All you needed to do was wiggle around a little bit and you would eventually work your way the rest of the way through. “Well, I’ll be a sonava bitch! How’d ya suppose this happened?” An all too familiar drawl called from behind you. Crap! You were too occupied with getting yourself unstuck that you hadn’t even heard Lucas walk back up behind you. Not, that it would have mattered. You wouldn’t have been able to go anywhere anyways. “You caught me. Good for you.” You say in an extremely deadpan voice. Honestly, you should be more frightened right now, but your most prevalent feeling was regret for how stupid you were. Not to mention, even though Lucas had found you, you were still stuck and it would take him a bit to get you out of where you were. Sure, he could just kill you while you were immobile, but that seem a little too bland for him. He likes to have a lot of pizzaz to his murders.


“Soooooo~ What'cha doin’?” Lucas said in a smug sing song voice as he leaned his back against the blockade. “Really?” was all you felt like responding with. He let out a laugh that let you know that he thought this was one of the funniest things he had seen in awhile. “Wait! Wait! Hold on! I got the best idea!” he almost wheezed between laughs as he pushed himself off the blockade and started to head back up the path. “Don’t you go nowhere now.” he called back to you in a teasing tone before he left. Well, he gave you one instruction, so of course you were going to do the opposite. You wiggled used your hands to push as hard as you could, but it seemed liked you were going nowhere. You kept trying and trying until you actually started to ware yourself out. How did you keep getting yourself into these kind of situations? The next thing you knew, you heard Lucas walking up to you, shortly followed by him sitting down on your legs and something being placed on you. The slight clicking that you heard next let you know exactly what he was doing. “Are you really using me as a computer desk?” You question as you try to turn your neck enough to look at him, and failing horribly. “Yeah,” he started with a slight laugh before his tone turned extremely serious, “and I suggest that you don’t be movin’ around too much, ‘cus if you break my computer then it will NOT be good for your general wellbein’.”


After awhile and well after your legs had fallen asleep, he asked you a question. You decided to just answer it because you didn’t have anything else you were able to do at the moment. “Hey, how do you spell the words belief and ruffle?” He asked in a tone that was trying to sound innocent, but you knew better. “B-e-l-e-i-f and r-u-f-f-e-l. Why?” You respond. Lucas answered with another question. “You’re dyslexic, ain’t ya?” You were confused on how he could jump to a conclusion like that. Even though he was right, there was no way that simply spelling, or misspelling based on his response, a few words could tell him. Lucas picked up on your confusion, and gave you an explanation. “Back in the barn I noticed that you had trouble with numbers, and you also seemed to have trouble keepin’ your left n’ right straight. Just now you had trouble spellin’ some words. All I had'ta do was look up those symptoms and I got the answer. Ain’t the internet a wonderful thing?” He ended with a chuckle. You forgot that he was actually really smart, like engineering trophies in his room smart, because most of the time you just saw the eccentric guy that makes death traps side.


“Welp, suppose we better get'cha outta there. Can’t really play games with you all stuck and such.” Lucas sighed as he sat his computer a ways to the side and stood up. You suddenly felt a firm grasp on your hips and heard Lucas chuckle, “Parden the intrusion.” before you were being pulled towards him. Apparently you were more stuck than you thought because Lucas had to actually use one of his legs to push off of one of the logs. When he did manage to get you out, he was pulling so hard that it sent the two of you flying backwards. You landed in his lap and he caught himself on his elbows, thankful that he had his hoodie on so he didn’t cut them on the gravel floor. “Hello there.” Lucas said with a mischievous grin as you looked over to him. It was then that it occurred to you that this was only the second time that you had actually seen him in person, and you defiantly weren’t this close the first time. Your face started to get a red tint when you realized that you thought he was actually an attractive guy. That was something you never thought you would think about someone that sent you through death traps and kidnapped you. This new feeling was not okay, but you would have to try your hardest to remind yourself of that.

you know what the funniest thing is? everyday i wake up with so much love for namjoon in my heart……………..even when im sad even when everything is wrong i fucking love him without any conditions or expectations…….i just love him and that’s how it is and everyday i wake up loving him and i think ‘this is it. i can’t possibly love him any more than i do now. my heart can’t hold anymore love, it’s not humanely possible.’ but then i wake up the next day and i love him even more and i didn’t know that was possible until he came along but he still manages to make me love him and every single day i am surprised that i love him more so that he slowly becomes my whole entire world and the only one i have ever loved like this…………and i think ‘why doesnt my heart run out of space from loving him so fully’? but god……………my life is nothing but room for him. it could never be filled with anything other than him. nothing more nothing less…he is literally it?? i fucking love him and that is everything to me and nothing to him and to me that’s okay because like i said i love him. no ifs or buts no conditional clauses.

susansepticeye  asked:

You know what might be the funniest/scariest thing that could happen during halloween? Jack won't bring Anti back, Mark won't bring Dark (or other egos) back. We will have a normal video. Jack will upload a normal pumpkin carving video, Mark will upload something related to halloween.

this is the true, collective fear, folks

You know, the funniest thing about this is the high probability that they know Sabo’s alive. Which most likely means that Sabo was in the paper.

CAN YOU IMAGINE GARP’S REACTION TO SEEING THAT LIKE “WHAT SABO IS ALI-FUCKING HELL IS HE A MEMBER OF THE REVOLUTIONARY ARMY WHY DID ALL MY ADOPTIVE CHILDREN TURN INTO SUCH TROUBLESOME HOOLIGANS?!?!”

seraphim || pjm v. jjk [1]

Originally posted by jookyunhoe

Seraphim

Teasers: Jungkook’s Story | Taehyung’s Story | Chapter 1

Characters: Park Jimin x Reader x Jeon Jungkook

Categories; Angst

AU(s): Childhood Best Friends!AU, Drifter!AU

Word Count:2,369

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“What do you mean, you’re moving?” Jimin asked as he warmed up your  arms. His cheeks, flushed, from both being so close to you and the weather. 


You turned with a weak smile. “I just don’t belong here anymore.” You evaded Jimin’s accusatory eyes. You swallowed harder before moving out of his grip. “You do understand, don’t you?" 


"I’d be lying if I said I did,” Jimin chewed on his bottom lip. He shook his head. Realization hit Jimin when he cleared his throat. “You haven’t told Jungkook, have you?" 


You closed your eyes painfully. "No, and I don’t want you to either. At least, not until after I get on the plane.”  


“No, that’s not happening.” Jimin shook his head almost violently, taking your arm gently and sitting on the bench. “You know how he feels about me, and more importantly, we both know how he feels about you.”  


“That’s exactly why I called you here and not him.” You sighed disdainfully. A roll of your eyes were sent in Jimin’s direction. “How Jungkook feels… it’s something that he shouldn’t be feeling, Jimin. I know that," 


"Then why would you leave without telling him goodbye if you know how he feels? Am I just a buffer for the two of you? He’s been in love with you since forever, Y/N. His feelings didn’t magically sprout over night.” Jimin breathed heavily, feeling not only the assumed anxieties that Jungkook would have felt if he had been in the same position, but his own. He had never admitted it, but Jimin had loved how you always ran to him in your time of need. 


You sighed quietly. “I don’t want him to get hurt.” You rubbed your hands together and placed them against your cheeks.  


The short period of silence evaporated once the sound of Jimin’s phone filled your ears. Your brows furrowed. You knew that Jungkook had to be on the other line. “Jimin, don’t answer it." 


"I always answer my phone.” Jimin shoved his hands into his pockets, ignoring your frowning plea. “I won’t say I’m with you…” He sheepishly adds to you as you weakly smile in relief.  


“Hel-”  


“Where’s Y/N?” Jungkook’s voice rasps into the phone. You find yourself shaking your head as you listen to the change in his voice. He sounded like he was running. 


Jimin’s eyes cut to yours, mouthing a small ‘I told you’ before answering, “I don’t know. She isn’t at home?”  


“No.” Heavy breathing follows, indicating he had been running. “I called her and she didn’t answer.” You instantaneously remembered you forgetting to grab your phone while you hastily pushed Jimin out of the door of your home. “She’s with you, isn’t she?" 


Jimin raised his eyebrows at Jungkook’s accusation as though he had been surprised. You licked your bottom lip, stepping closer to Jimin to respond. "Hey Jungkook," 


Jungkook inhaled sharply at the sound of your voice. It had been irking him more than ever that you were spending time with Jimin when you had been so busy lately. He knew it wasn’t his feelings that had made him so upset. It had been the recurring theme of you always hanging out with Jimin, and only Jimin. "Y/N… what’s going on? We haven’t talked in weeks… and the only time we do is when you’re with Jimin.” Fuck, Jungkook hated to sound like this; whiny and needy. He was the furthermost thing from it, but you somehow always managed to make him weak in the knees and make his cheeks flush red. 


“1,” You sigh quietly, making eye contact with Jimin. “Meet us by our playground in 20 minutes, okay? I have something to tell you.”  


Shifting on the other end of the line assures you of Jungkook’s nod. “Okay,” and then the line ends. 


When you pull the phone from your ear, Jimin is smirking at you. You roll your eyes at him before fixing your scarf and passing him back his phone. “Let’s go.”
“You could have just told him and he wouldn’t have been turning all of Korea over looking for you.” Jimin mutters behind you as he followed you in the direction to the park Jungkook and you had first met. “You really shouldn’t be playing with his heart like that.”  


“I’m not.” You hotly reply with indignation.  


When you finally made it to the playground, you catch a glimpse of a boy in white hoodie and black jeans. Your inner maternal instinct scowls at the sight as you run to Jungkook’s side, shrugging off your coat immediately to warm him. 


“What is wrong with you? Do you realize how cold it is?” You say as you attempt to push your coat on Jungkook’s shoulders. It’s a little small for him, but it doesn’t help as the boy shrugs it off. A chuckle escaping his lips at your sweet behavior. 


“I wouldn’t have to be out here if a certain somebody didn’t answer her phone.” Jungkook says, his signature bunny smile on his lips. He finally accepted your coat, only after realizing you won’t wear it otherwise.  


You strain a smile at him. Your news is sure to upset him. “I forgot it. Besides, I was with Jimin. What could go wrong?”  


At the mention of his name, Jimin is already jogging behind you, clearly out of breath. Jungkook’s smile droops as he watches you shiver ever so slightly. Evidently, Jimin also notes your own shivering by taking off his coat. “God, you two keep me busy.” He says as he moves your hair to the side and forces his coat on you, quite similarly to you with Jungkook. Jungkook can’t help but feel somewhat inadequate in your coat after seeing you so breezily wear Jimin’s.  How often had scenes in the last week been like that for the two of you? Was Jungkook only a liability for you? 


“Um,” Jungkook shifted uncomfortably in your coat. Both Jimin and you turn to him expectantly. “What did you want to tell me?”  He kicked at the snow on the ground. With Jungkook’s luck, your news would be what he always expected.  
You turn to beckon Jimin to say the words that you couldn’t bring yourself to say, but he does nothing. It’s no surprise that Jungkook notices how you turn to Jimin and a grimace fights its way on his face. Had you two grown so distant that you needed Jimin to communicate for you?  


“I’m leaving tomorrow, Jungkook.” The words fall out of your mouth like vomit, because that’s what it is, but Jungkook doesn’t catch it. His blood stills and for a minute, Jungkook stands completely still wearing your jacket. His cheeks are no longer pink from the cold, but pale with discoloration. “Jungkook?”  
Jimin takes a step closer to Jungkook, brows narrowing. “Are you okay, Jungkook?" 


"No.” Jungkook finally speaks. His voice is barely audible over his own breathing. His chocolate brown eyes steady on the ground, unwilling to meet your own. “You’re not leaving.” As Jungkook speaks, his voice quivers and he takes a step back.  


“Yes, Jungkook, I am.” You sound harsh and you know it. It irks you at the idea of sounding so heartless but you know that it will be quicker if he merely accepts it. “I’m leaving tomorrow, early, and we won’t see each other. I won’t see Jimin either.” You would like to think that you didn’t know why you needed to say that line, but you do. You know that Jungkook loves you. You know that he has always been in love with you. After all, you had spent years covering up your own feelings. 

Jungkook licks his lips, finally allowing his eyes to meet yours. He, thankfully, isn’t crying, but you can see the sadness in his eyes. “No, you aren’t, because if you were, you wouldn’t have waited until the day before to tell me. If you were leaving me, if my best friend was leaving me, you would have told me. My best friend,” Jungkook inhaled sharply. “wouldn’t have spent the last few weeks doing everything to avoid me." 


"Jungkook, I was only doing that so that it wouldn’t be such a drastic change.” Your explanation sounds good in your head. Though for some reason, it sounds drier when it leaves your lips.  


Jungkook clears his throat before speaking, “Then why would you continue to hang out with Jimin? Did you consider him in your idea of not letting it be a 'drastic change’?” He raises his brows. “Why would you not me give me that same consideration that you give him?" 


"Jungkook, you’re not getting what I’m saying!” You chewed on your bottom lip as you tried to think of the right words to say. “I was thinking of you the last few weeks. I know that we’ve been friends since forever and I was being considerate of your feelings—" 


"When have you ever been considerate about how I feel about you?” Jungkook asked, taking two bold steps. His eyes frantically search yours and you could see the hurt in his eyes. “Was it when we were eight and you told him to start hanging out with us all the time? Was it when we were twelve and you let him be your first kiss? Or was it two years ago when you purposely switched your classes, which we shared by the way, to be closer to him?”  


“Jungkook, you need to relax.” Jimin warned as he pulled you a step away from Jungkook. Sheer warning took over the usual playful look in his eyes. “It’s not like that…”  


“It’s always been like that.” Jungkook turned to face Jimin, shaking his head. “She’s always run to you, even if it was out of her way. To her, you’re the only one who exists and that bothers me so much because I know that you can never treat her with as much love as I can.” His eyes met yours and you felt your heart plunge to your stomach. “I love you so much that it hurts, but all you see is him." 


     He moved Jimin’s hand from your arm. "You want to know the funniest thing? The more you fall for him, it only makes me fall harder for you because it helps me imagine what it would it be like if you actually loved me.”
And for the first time in your twelve year friendship with Jungkook, you look at Jungkook. Not in that mediocre way of seeing him as just his looks and his personality; but for him. You see the distraught in his eyes laced with disappointment. Jungkook had cared for you since the beginning. Who were you to shut him out like this when he never did the same to you?  


“Jungkook, I-” and you stop short because you know that there’s nothing more you can say. Instead you loop your arms around his shoulders, quietly thinking to yourself when had they gotten so wide. You hug him as tight as you can before a single tear escapes from your eyes. “I love you too, but I can’t stay.”  
Jungkook stiffened at your words. He was for certain he had heard them wrong, but even if he did, he had been convinced that you hadn’t meant it. His eyes met Jimin who looked almost awestruck at the two of you. 


For years, Jimin had watched Jungkook fawn over you. In a way that only a schoolboy could. Though while he watched Jungkook’s feelings manifest, he began to harbor his own. He came to prefer you by his side, small hands pressed together, jumping puddles together.  


“I love you, Jungkook.” You wholeheartedly state. Jungkook’s mouth is left slightly ajar, but his brows narrow to show his apprehension. “I love you so much that it hurts, Jungkook,” and it did hurt. It hurt in every way possible, especially considering how you had kept hidden your own feelings believing that his would die if you allowed yours to do the same.  


The sound of crunching leaves is all you hear as Jungkook takes you into his arms. A hiccup (or was it a sniffle)escapes him as he misses the top of your head. Flinging crystals again his cheeks and he bites hard on his tongue to swallow his cry. “You can’t leave me. Please,” The syllable cracks on his tongue. 


Jimin stands there silently, his head hanging low to avoid the quiet sniffles from Jungkook. It pains him to see his best friend so enamored by you when he can only feel contempt too. 


“Jungkook,” You try weakly to move out of his grip but fail. Your head lays on his chest; in between his hands is the fabric of your sweatshirt. He holds so tight as though his life depends on it and a part of you, for a split second, almost believe that it does. “I can’t stay.”


Jungkook quickly shakes his head. “No, you don’t just get to decide if you want to walk out of my life or not.” He leans back, his eyes shake as they dart over your face - doing their best to memorize every part of you. “Y/N-ah, please.” His voice cracks as you take a step away from him. His mouth falls ajar at your deliberate action.


“I can’t hurt you anymore.” You bite down on your bottom lip. “I won’t.” Your eyes settle on his hand that holds on to your own. He squeezes, as if to coax you to stay but you know that you can’t. You’ve been here too long.


“Goodbye Jungkook.” And with those final words, you turn away from the seventeen-year-old boy with a lump settling in your throat. You swallow back the bile that wants to rise and hurriedly walk in the other direction. 


It takes every fraction of Jungkook to not chase after you, like he always has. It takes every part of Jungkook to not capture you in his arms and never let you go. The same can be said for the amber haired boy who accompanies Jungkook; hands pushed forcefully in his pockets to hide the clenching of his fist. But that’s the thing about butterflies - if you become too close, they fly away. 

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Things That Would Kill: Wu Yifan
  • Lazy days where you both wake up hella late-
  • especially when he wakes up to you cuddling him.
  • You overworking yourself ‘till you get sick,
  • but not doing anything about it and being always like, “no nono i got this, don’t worry~” and he gets to go out and buy you medicine and feel needed by you.
  • Also how you give him that smirk when he gives you the medicine in a really cool manner as if he doesn’t really care when he secretly does and you know it.
  • That time he ordered food for you and said “no onions please” and you were like ???????how did you know I never told you???????
  • Legit it was the funniest thing in the world to him because you literally pick out the onions whenever your food had them-
  • like someone had to be SUUUUPER inattentive in order to miss it.
  • How freakin’ amazed you get at his lame-ass magic tricks XDDDD
  • The way you got him to accidentally drop the cool image on your first hangout (you stressed how it wasn’t a date when you asked him out ‘cause you hate rushing into things and that is also something he really loves about you).
  • You: *Picking up a sparkly pink cat-ears headband* “THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN.”
  • Him: “Hahaha are you sure? I’m standing right here, though.”
  • You: “Mmmm you don’t quite beat the headband.”
  • Him: “….Excuse me?”
  • You: *with that mischievous sparkle in your eye* “Do you know what’ll help you beat it, though?”
  • Him: “What?”
  • You: “If you wear it~ :3333″ 
  • Him: “Hell no.”
  • You: “Please?”
  • Him: “No!”
  • You: “PLLLEEEAAAASSSEEEEE-”
  • Him: “Fine.” *Takes the headband and puts it on* “There, happy?” 
  • You: *with a grin* “Now do something really cute.” 
  • After a bit of a protest, you actually got him to do aegyo and he died a little bit on the inside- no one has ever managed to break him so quick LMAO
  • LONG LINGERING KISSES THAT HE CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT FOR LIKE HOURS
  • The way you are unconsciously learning the languages he knows by always listening to him switch from one to the other during business calls.
  • You guys saying ‘I love you’ to each other back and forth in as many languages as you can-
  • you lose if you run out of languages/repeat a language. 
  • How you genuinely care about the people around you-
  • like you don’t even talk about others very much, he can just see it in the things you do for them.
  • The way you worry about your family a lot and make an effort to Skype them at least once every week and a half.
  • You being such a connection obsessed person.
  • It sounds real weird but he admires the way you always aim to connect with the people you meet on a deeper level compared to the level most strangers would probably connect on.
  • You asking him for fashion advice LOOOOOOL
  • How his family  A D O R E S  you!!!!!
  • You being soft whenever he holds your hand and how you try to hide it.
  • You not being afraid to tell him how you feel and how you’re very honest with him- even if it might sting him a little. 
  • Plus when he’s very honest with you about things, you handle it really really well and actually listen to what he’s saying and IT’S JUST A REALLY GOOD RELATIONSHIP OKAY
  • Snuggies on the couch while watching TV omg
  • THOSE CHILDISH MOMENTS WHERE YOU GUYS GOOF OFF AND HE DOESN’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT LOOKING STUPID BECAUSE YOU REALLY DGAF
  • And finally, (he would never admit this until you both are further down the road in your relationship) how he can 10000%, wholeheartedly imagine a future with you because it really does feel like you guys were meant to be together~ <3

Originally posted by beastdw

5/12 THINGS THAT WOULD KILL: EXO
-Karina :D
{I’m not doing these in any specific order, so if you want a certain member of a group to be done ASAP, you’re free to send a message and I’ll prioritize your member! Groups going to be done are (BTS IS COMPLETED), EXO, Seventeen, Mamamoo, and Red Velvet. I also go by how many times a member is requested!}

  • DAVE, smashed at 3am after his sisters wedding: you know john the funniest thing me and jade ever did was think that you and rose were going to get together. yall were cute and maybe it woulda been cool but i dont even understand what layers hormone-jacked assumption that must have been because it should have been obvious from the get go that rose was gravitating to the first sassy lesbian she could find like shed refined her ecto-inherited gaydar to detect snarky horseshit
  • JOHN: i dont know dave, all trolls like dating any troll right? why does kanayas sexuality even matter
  • DAVE: come on dude i agree that labelling it doesnt matter for shit at this stage but you cant deny that kanayas gayer than a 1920s elf in booty shorts who doesnt understand modern terminology singing about happiness and friendship while he bangs a komina body pillow
  • DAVE: ysee while trolls like to pretend their quadrants and culture are so alien from ours that wed eat dead babies without knowing theres more similarities than wed expect. we arent eating those dead babies unaware, humanity was using dead babies as burger dip since the first buttscratching caveman killed a cow while it was minding its business eating that grass on its friends body thank you very much
  • DAVE: and like our society they cant seem to grasp the basic concepts that people would be Only attracted to groups that go outside of their preconcieved norms of whats bangable
  • JOHN: uhm
  • DAVE: its pretty interesting though that trolls consider variable sexualities a basic fetish that doesnt matter much while humanity has to make a whole big deal about it to the extent of gouging peoples faces off though both are at least partial in the basic erasure of personal boundaries therefore you see trolls dating people theyre not really interested in or caped douchebags flirting with innocent vampires who would rather strangle them but wonder if its worth a shot anyway
  • DAVE: hell you know that vriska jerk you and her were flirting like there was no tomorrow but next time you see each other you want little to do with anything. whats up with that?
  • JOHN: dave its getting pretty late!! and i dont really want to talk about this...
  • DAVE: wait wasnt she also flirting with that guy who likes fire and then basically kicked him to the kirb in the most violently confused way possible and started fake flirting with my brothers dumb AI thing that nobody could love unless they are into irony in more ways than one
  • DAVE: all this after hanging with another girl who none of us could drag away from her for the most basic of shitposting doing mysterious things together for three years and also vriska being told off by rose for sniffing her girlfriend
  • DAVE: do you think vriska could be a lesbian john
  • TEREZI, on the next seat sniffing a suspicious looking red and green lollipop: WH4TS 4 L3SB14N
  • DAVE: terezi youre not really helping with the discourse here
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Anonymous said:Please can you write a Rosalie cullen x female human reader imagine? The reader is Bella’s bff and meets Rosalie?


A/N: Heya, anon! Of course I’ll do this for you! Sorry that I didn’t write it sooner. I took a break. /-\ I’m also aware that I wrote Rosalie’s last name wrong in the edit, but she’s the same person. /-\ Sorry! But nevertheless, enjoy this imagine about the beautiful goddess of a vampire: Rosalie Hale, whom I love very, very, very much! Thank you for requesting, sweetie! :)


Not my gif. Gif credit goes to the amazing creators!


Imagine: Meeting Rosalie Cullen but you’re Bella Swan’s best friend.


Her golden orbs scanned over your gorgeous form a million times before that exact second had come to a finale. Rosalie Hale felt something different than her bitter frozen heart had ever felt for many years… Love.

Your form descending down her family’s homes stairs was a gorgeous sight to see, - even if you were in nothing but ordinary clothes-. Her breath seemed to be taken away and all of her family shared a glittered glance at her, a tender smile spreading across their perfect faces.

“Guys, this is (Y/N).” Bella rubs her hands together awkwardly, sharing a small glance with you. “She’s really important to me and she needs to be in on this secret, because Victoria’s trying to target her too.” Bella suddenly confesses, causing Rosalie’s hateful glower to consume her bitterly with a scowl.

Bella met Rosalie’s glance with a shaken head and a priceless grin that only spelled out true disappointment. “(Y/N), that’s Carlisle, Edward, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Esme.” she pointed to each of the family members apart from the seated blond haired goddess.

“That must be Rosalie then.” you grin, finding Rosalie’s golden ocher eyes. You slipped into a trance where the two of you were suddenly the only people in the entire world. Or at least that’s how it felt.

“And you must be, (Y/N).” she smiles at you. “Pardon my rudeness, Bella and I don’t seem to get on the best of terms.” she grins warmly, attempting a nonchalant go at humor. “I’ve heard many things about you.” she adds on with a flirty grin that almost made you collapse. You ended up holding your breath.

“Oh! I’ve heard lot’s about you.” and there goes your cool! Also, did I forget to mention? You had a terribly unfortunate habit to gush and blurt things out at the wrong moments.

“Enough about that!” Bella chuckles nervously, throwing her arm around your shoulders as Rosalie’s eyes turn to slits upon your best friend. “You know, Rosalie, she says the funniest things at these random times. Kind of like Ali-,”


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Gealousy

To: Eleanor (@allthingsjily)

From: Bonnie (@bantasticbeasts)

Happy Christmas and I hope this isn’t too far from what you had in mind :)

*

It’s an unpleasant and not entirely unfamiliar sensation that hits Lily Evans first. It’s Marlene McKinnon’s Potions essay that hits her second.

Ow,” she hisses, swatting the roll of parchment away.

“You’re staring,” Marlene sings, and Lily quickly averts her gaze from the table three to her left to the ceiling.

“Staring at what?” she asks, feigning innocence. Marlene doesn’t buy it for a second, and rightly so. Lily was staring, and the curious look on James Potter’s face says that he knows. “Okay, shut up,” she hisses, ducking her head to stare at her Transfiguration homework. “Maybe I was staring, but it’s not like that.”

“Not like what?” Mary asks sweetly.

“I hate you both.”

“Are you coming to dinner?” Marlene asks, checking her watch.

“Nah,” Lily sighs, gesturing down at her pile of parchment, “I have way too much homework, and I still have to finish the patrol roster. I’ll swing by the kitchens when I finish, I promise.”

“Alright,” Mary agrees, though not quite happily. The pair of them are long gone when Lily looks up from her paragraph on the dangers of large scale human transfiguration. The whole tabled section of the library is empty, and Lily allows herself a moment to relive the awful feeling she felt when she saw James whispering in Tilly Guthrie’s ear, when she saw her hand on his thigh. It’s the third time she’s reacted like this to seeing them together, had this… jealousy plant itself in her stomach.

Oh god, she thinks, watching ink pool where the nib of her quill is pressed, unmoving, to her parchment, I fancy James Potter. She drops the quill like she’s been burnt, and starts violently when she sees who’s leaning over her shoulder, reading what she’s written.

“Not the angle I would have chosen, but it works,” James says, slipping into the chair next to her.

“Shouldn’t you be at dinner?” Lily asks, a little too harshly.

“Shouldn’t you?” he shoots back. “Marlene said you were working on the patrol roster, which is technically my job too, so I came to help.”

“I have it covered,” Lily snaps, gathering her various belongings as quickly as she can, knocking over her ink bottle in the process. Her heart is pounding, and it’s too damn hot in here. “Look, I’m not trying to be funny but can you just fuck off, thanks?” she hisses, as James rights the bottle, and vanishes the mess with a lazy flick of his wand.

“Are you alright?” he asks quietly, placing his hand on her forearm gently, trying to calm her down. “You’re looking a bit peaky.”

“I’m fine,” she insists, piling her rolls of parchment into the crook of her elbow, and swinging her book bag over her shoulder. “Just leave me alone.” And she pushes past him, completely forgetting her promise to go via the kitchens as she makes her way back to Gryffindor Tower.

*

“Does he have to flaunt her all over the place like that?” Lily groans, letting her head flop down onto her folded arms. Sirius exchanges a curious glance with Remus over her back, and the latter shrugs. “I don’t trust her,” she says, and it’s muffled by her sleeve.

“And that has nothing to do with your enormous crush on Prongs?” Sirius asks casually.

Lily’s head whips up, an expression of horror plastered to her face. “What? I don’t have a crush on him. Where’d you…” she trails off, resigned to the knowing look he gives her. “Fine. I might fancy him a bit.”

“More than a bit,” Remus says under his breath, and ducks to avoid Lily’s Charms textbook as she swings it at his head. James’ right hand is clasped in Tilly’s left as he takes notes, three rows ahead of them, and the trio watches them with varying degrees of bitterness.

“We can get rid of her, if you want,” Sirius offers, and it’s his turn to duck as Remus reaches over to slap him. “I don’t trust her either! I know she’s just in it for the Sleekeazy’s.”

“What?” Lily asks, laughing. “Why would…”

“James’ dad invented it,” Remus sighs, checking his notes against the blackboard. “His mum sends him some every month, so he palms it off on anyone who’ll take it.”

Suddenly the bottle of Sleekeazy’s Lily got for Christmas last year makes a whole lot more sense.

“I used to take it all, but his mum caught wind and now she sends me my own supply,” Sirius shrugs.

Lily laughs, but her eyes are trained on the pair three rows ahead. Oh god, she thinks again, I am so done for.

*

Lily Evans has been jealous approximately three times in her life. First, when Petunia started secondary school, then when Mary got that really cool Creedence Clearwater Revival t-shirt from her brother, and finally, now.

The first two had been fleeting, lasting barely a day, but this is constant. Jealousy is a terrible thing to live with, Lily discovers, as she becomes increasingly intolerant to what Peter has dubbed JTPDAs, to the point she can’t even stand them holding hands. She avoids James where she can, but it’s difficult when they’re required to spend time together. Lily briefly considers giving up her Head position, but she worked too damn hard for this, and she won’t let some stupid crush ruin what she’s achieved.

“Hey,” he says, sitting down next to her. Predictably, she jumps about a mile, and immediately begins thinking up excuses to leave. “Can we talk?”

Lily closes her eyes, and clenches her fists, and nods, once.

“You’ve been acting really weird lately, and I’m concerned. We’re mates now, yeah?” Another nod. “Except whenever we hang out it’s like it was before. So I guess I just want to know what it is I’ve done to change your mind back.”

Lily blinks once, twice, stupidly. “What?”

“Well, I figured I’d done something to upset you, and Remus told me to just buck up and ask you what it was instead of trying to work it out by myself and inevitably getting it completely wrong.”

“He’s smart, our Remus,” Lily says sagely, internally planning the boy’s assassination.

“So?” James prompts, his hand twitching on the table next to hers.

“It’s not you. Well, not really. I just found something out recently, and it’s come at a really inconvenient time.”

“You’re not…” he trails off, giving her an uncertain look.

“Nah, nothing like that. Really, it’s nothing. I’m being stupid.”

“Not to be a total cliché, but you can tell me anything, you know that, right?” His face is entirely too close to hers, and her cheeks feel like they’re probably hot enough to boil water.

“I don’t like Tilly,” she says finally. A half truth is better than a lie, she reasons.

“Neither does Sirius,” James frowns, his hand twitching again. “Good thing we broke up, then.”

“Come again?” Lily asks faintly, looking up at him.

“Tilly dumped me,” he says, but he’s grinning. “Want to know why?”

“I have a feeling you’re going to tell me anyway.”

James smiles, like he’s got a private joke he’s not going to share. He flips his hand over, so his palm is facing the ceiling. “She said I payed more attention to you than I did to her.”

“Really?” Lily asks, chewing on her bottom lip, and staring down at her Ancient Runes homework.

“And she’s right, but you want to know what the funniest thing is?”

“What?”

“If you pay a lot of attention to someone, it becomes pretty obvious when they’re paying a lot of attention to you, too. And I could swear that you, Lily Evans, have been paying me quite a bit of attention.”

Lily narrows her eyes. “Sirius told you, didn’t he?”

“Boy can’t keep a secret to save his life,” James agrees. He grins, and he’s so damn beautiful, and for the first time, Lily isn’t frustrated about it. He twitches his fingers once more, and she takes his hand, and grins back, and she’s beautiful too.

It makes sense for them to be beautiful together.

*

EXTRAS

 

((These have essentially no bearing on the above however I wanted to include them as a little behind the scenes glimpse of what was going through my head while I was writing this))

1.

The four of them - that is to say, Lily, Remus, Sirius and Peter - have never spent as much time together as they do during James and Tilly’s brief relationship. They’re sat at the very end of Gryffindor table, observing the couple with disgust.

“Do they have to do that?” Remus asks, putting down his fork and pushing his plate of bacon and eggs away. They’ve just begun snogging with the grace of third years, and Sirius, Peter and Lily are quick to follow Remus’ lead.

“We need a better name than that,” Lily muses. “If we’re complaining about that, we could be complaining about anything.”

“JTPDAs?” Peter asks, scratching his jaw. “It stands for James and Tilly’s Public Displays of Affection, but it could also have a double meaning, like… I dunno, Genuinely Terrifying PDAs?”

Lily blinks a few times. Remus cocks his head. Sirius narrows his eyes, and, “Peter…”

“What?”

“Genuinely doesn’t start with a J.”

Fuck,” Peter whispers, but it’s too late.

2.

“It’s Christmaaaaaaas,” Peter sings, jumping up onto James’ bed. This, effectively, wakes up the whole tower, and within a few minutes, Lily has made her way sleepily into their room, and the five of them are all gathered on the floor between Sirius and Remus’ beds. Lily reaches for the pile of presents, but she’s halted by an indignant noise from Peter.

“Please?” she tries.

“We have to sing Christmas carols before we open any presents,” James explains, rolling his eyes.

“It’s a tradition,” Peter hisses.

“Why don’t you start us off, then, Pete,” Remus suggests with a yawn. “How about Jood King Wenceslas, that’s my favourite.”

“I’m partial to Ginjle Bells,” Sirius argues, and Remus chuckles as he leans back against his bed. Lily hi fives both of them, and James takes on an expression of both anger and confusion.

Guys,” he whines, but he’s ignored by all.

“I’m going to smother you in your sleep,” Peter says darkly.

3.1.

Silence falls over the room as Sirius stands, a handsome figure in black, with a flute of champagne raised in toast. “Hello everyone, I’m Sirius, and I’m the Best Man, so I think a Best Man speech is in order. I’ve known Lily and Games for… I’m terribly sorry, everyone, I got Peter to proof read this, it should be Lily and James.”

Peter hides his face in his hands, but attention is drawn to his anyway, with Remus’ rather loud snort. “I hate you all,” he whispers.

3.2.

James is dancing with his mother, and Lily is dancing with Remus, and Sirius and Peter are seated as close to the bar as they can be.

Peter sighs, watching Remus twirl Lily around, her wedding gown billowing out around her. She looks so happy, surrounded by friends and able to forget, just for now, about the war. “Lily looks stunning, don’t you think?”

Sirius keeps a straight face for approximately three seconds, and Peter groans in anticipation. “Yeah, she looks absolutely jorgeous.”

“Fuck off you wanker, Padfoot.”

3.3.

Sirius and Peter have never had such a perfect opportunity to show off their entire choreographed dance routine to Money Money Money as they do at the reception of Lily and James’ wedding. They pull it off flawlessly, and the crowd hollers and hoots as they finish, chests heaving and hair slicked back with sweat, though none so loud as Lily and Remus.

“That was jreat!” Remus whoops, applauding so hard his hands hurt.

“Jlorious, boys!” Lily agrees, just as furious in her clapping.

No one can really blame Peter for what he does next.

anonymous asked:

Any hope in a dad!Tony headcanon? Like not with yours and his kids but just like maybe him being your dad? Like teen father!Tony? Idk I just want this lol

Having Tony as a dad

Originally posted by iwantcupcakes

  • He was difficult to deal with. He acts like he’s your age. 
  • He loves to embarrass you in front  of your friends, but they think he’s “the cool dad.” 
  • And he is… just sometimes not to you.
  • When you two argue, it’s bad. Two emotional, easily pissed off people screaming at one another for more than an hour is the worst way to spend a night. 
  • But… he always comes knocking at your bedroom door, a cup of strong coffee in one hand, “I don’t believe in going to bed mad…” 
  • And you sit there for hours, talking things out. 
  • He helps you throw the best parties. 
  • That man is just full of contradictions because you’re never allowed to go out. 
  • “Dad, it’s just a few friends.” 
  • “At a boy’s house, yeah, no way.” 
  • “Dad!” 
  • He’s that dad that threatens the boys that come over. Somehow, he always ends up playing with his little robots right in front of the door. 
  • “Oh! Don’t worry, only people I don’t like get attacked.” 
  • Which earns a glare from you. 
  • Pepper usually helps you out with the boy troubles. 
  • She’s pretty cool and she likes to take you and Tony out on “field trips”
  • The last time, she surprised you with a trip to Bounce. 
  • He’s always there for you. 
  • Like that time you went to homecoming and someone spilled punch all over your dress, he came with another dress.
  • He may have come in his suit and attracted way more attention that you wanted, but it was still really sweet.
  • Or the time that boy spit on you in the school parking lot, you had never seen your dad so angry. “Does he know who your dad is? Does he know what I’m capable of? I could rip him limb from limb in under three seconds.” 
  • He may be obnoxious at times, but he can also be fun… like really, really fun. 
  • You two are goofy and sarcastic, and pull pranks on the other Avengers.
  • Sam hates when you come to the tower. Your pranks are always directed at him and it’s the funniest thing you’ve ever seen. 
  • “Do you know you scream like a girl?” 
  • “Tony, get your evil daughter away from me!”
  • Tony made you your own suit. 
  • “What color do you want it?”
  • “Matte Black.”
  • “That’s my girl!”
  • Secretly, Steve is your fave Avenger. If any of the others found out, they would be pissed. 
  • Thor is also one of the softest and kindest people, and you love talking to him about Asgard and what he likes most about Earth. 
  • There’s never a dull moment between you and your dad. Yeah, when you fight, it’s usually pretty bad, but the fun moments are better. The good moments outweigh the bad.