you know the first rule of combat

COWBOY BEBOP SENTENCE STARTERS.

  • ❝ …Bang… ❞
  • ❝ This could be a trap. ❞
  • ❝ This is strictly business. ❞
  • ❝ Whatever happens, happens. ❞
  • ❝ Life is but a dream. ❞
  • ❝ You’re in a good mood today. ❞
  • ❝ Tell me what you’re doing here. ❞
  • ❝ Don’t try anything. ❞
  • ❝ Why don’t you shoot? ❞
  • ❝ Go on, pull the trigger. ❞
  • ❝ What’s wrong? Lose your nerve? ❞
  • ❝ You’re an original, aren’t you? ❞
  • ❝ Could you be a little quieter please? ❞
  • ❝ Great, a wannabe preacher with a gun… ❞
  • ❝ Guess you’ll have to chalk it up to bad luck. ❞
  • ❝ You’re gonna carry that weight. ❞
  • ❝ The one that’s insane is this world. ❞
  • ❝ Hey there, having a little trouble? ❞
  • ❝ Are you living in the real world? ❞ 
  • ❝ Even if you play by the rules, nothing gets solved. ❞
  • ❝ The more you know, the shorter your life will be. ❞
  • ❝ I’m just a humble bounty hunter, ma’am/sir. ❞
  • ❝ Pretending to be senile won’t get you out of this. ❞
  • ❝ I’m just watching a bad dream I never wake up from. ❞
  • ❝ Are you pleading for your life? ❞
  • ❝ You should see yourself right now. ❞
  • ❝ Do you have any idea what you look like? A ravenous beast. ❞
  • ❝ The same blood runs through both of us. ❞
  • ❝ I’ve bleed all that kind of blood away. ❞
  • ❝ Why are you still alive? ❞
  • ❝ Don’t give me that art of war crap. ❞
  • ❝ Time never stands still. ❞  
  • ❝ If you don’t work, you don’t eat. ❞
  • ❝ These Earthlings are weird. ❞ 
  • ❝ I’ll take care of this, you can go back. ❞
  • ❝ I love the kind of woman that can kick my ass. ❞
  • ❝ A star just fell from the sky. ❞
  • ❝ Cold climates don’t concern me. ❞
  • ❝ Your heart is colder than any planet. ❞
  • ❝ Remember, a snake cannot eat a dragon. ❞
  • ❝ We should’ve never taken such a risk. ❞
  • ❝ I’m fully aware of the danger. ❞
  • ❝ How long were you in there listening, [ name ]? ❞ 
  • ❝ And this time, I hope you have sweet dreams. ❞
  • ❝ I’ll meet you at the end of this world. ❞
  • ❝ Belonging is the very best thing there is. ❞
  • ❝ There is nothing more innocent and cruel than a child.❞
  • ❝ Man shouldn’t have to live on carbohydrates alone, complex or otherwise. ❞
  • ❝ I have no fear of death. It just means dreaming in silence. A dream that lasts for an eternity. ❞
  • ❝ Of the days that I have lived, only those I spent with you seemed real. ❞
  • ❝ My memory…finally came back…but nothing good came from it. ❞
  • ❝ There was no place for me to return to; this was the only place I could go. ❞
  • ❝ Why do you have to go? Where are you going?! ❞
  • ❝ What are you going to do, throw away your life like it was nothing?! ❞
  • ❝ What’s your price to keep this from leaking to the press? ❞
  • ❝ Either you give me the money or I put a bullet through your brain. ❞    
  • ❝ I’m not the type to be led around by a woman/man. ❞
  • ❝ You can’t tell the age of a woman by looking at her. ❞
  • ❝ You’re kidding yourself if you think every woman/man is like you. They’re not.❞
  • ❝ Why did you do all of this? For money? Some sort of revenge? Or perhaps just for fun?❞
  • ❝ Come on, hang in there, you hear me? ❞ 
  • ❝ When angels are forced out of heaven, they become devils. ❞
  • ❝ Tell me, if we had met earlier in life, would we have been friends? ❞
  • ❝ You know the first rule of combat? Shoot them before they shoot you. ❞
  • ❝ I’m not a criminal. Woah, that makes me sound more like a criminal, doesn’t it. ❞
  • ❝ You took all the money you stole from us and lost it in a gambling casino? ❞
  • ❝ This is real mystic and all, but uh, do you have anything to eat here? ❞
  • ❝ You know what they say, cowboy, easy come easy go. ❞ 
  • ❝ You told me once, to forget the past, cause it doesn’t matter, but you’re the one still tied to the past, [ name ]!  ❞
  • ❝ Don’t tell me things like that; you’ve never told me anything about yourself, so don’t tell me now! ❞
  • ❝ I felt like I was watching a dream I’d never wake up from. Before I knew it, the dream was all over. ❞
  • ❝ Do not fear death. Death is always at our side. When we show fear, it jumps at us faster than light, but if we do not show fear, it casts its eye upon us gently and then guides us into infinity…  ❞
  • ❝ Men only think about their past right before death, as if they were searching frantically for proof they were alive. ❞
  • ❝ No one can draw a clear line between sane and insane. You move that line as you see fit for yourself. No one else can.  ❞

anonymous asked:

How do you write a fight scene without becoming repetitive? I feel like it just sounds like "she did this then this then this." Thanks so much!

I watch her as she fights. Her left leg flies through the air – a roundhouse – rolling into a spin. She misses, but I guess she’s supposed to. Her foot lands and launches her into a jump. Up she goes again, just as fast. The other leg pumps, high knee gaining altitude. The jumping leg tucks. Her body rolls midair, momentum carrying her sideways. She kicks. A tornado kick, they call it. The top of her foot slams into Rodrigo’s head, burying in his temple. Didn’t move back far enough, I guess.

His head, it snaps sideways like a ball knocked off a tee. Skull off the spine. His eyes roll back, and he slumps. Whole body limp. Legs just give out beneath him. He clatters to the sidewalk; wrist rolling off the curb.

She lands, making the full turn and spins back around. Her eyes are on his body. One foot on his chest. I don’t know if he’s alive. I don’t know if she cares. Nah, she’s looking over her shoulder. Looking at me.

The truth twists my gut. I should’ve started running a long time ago.

The first key to writing a good fight scene is to tell a story. The second key is having a grasp of combat rules and technique. The third is to describe what happens when someone gets hit. The fourth is to remember physics. Then, roll it all together. And remember: be entertaining.

If you find yourself in the “and then” trap, it’s because you don’t have a firm grasp of what exactly it is your writing. “He punched” then “She blocked” then “a kick” only gets you so far.

You’ve got to get a sense for shape and feeling, and a sense of motion. Take a page from the comic artist’s playbook and make a static image feel like it’s moving. Try to remember that violence is active. Unless your character is working with a very specific sort of soft style, they’re attacks are going to come with force. So, you’ve got to make your sentences feel like your hitting something or someone.

“Ahhh!” Mary yelled, and slammed her fist into the pine’s trunk. A sickening crack followed, then a whimper not long after.

Angie winced. “Feel better?”

Shaking out her hand, Mary bit her lip. Blood dripped from her knuckles, uninjured fingers gripping her wrist. She sniffed, loudly. “I…” she paused, “…no.”

“You break your hand?”

“I think so. Yeah.”

“Good,” Angie said. “Think twice next time before challenging a tree.”

Let your characters own their mistakes. If they hit something stupid in anger, like a wall or a tree then let them have consequences. Injury is part of combat. In the same way, “I should be running now” is. When the small consequences of physical activity invade the page, they bring reality with them.

People don’t just slug back and forth unless they don’t know how to fight, or their only exposure to combat is mostly movies or bloodsport like boxing. Either way, when one character hits another there are consequences. It doesn’t matter if they blocked it or even deflected it, some part of the force is going to be transitioned into them and some rebounds back at the person who attacked.

Your character is going to get hurt, and it’ll be painful. Whether that’s just a couple of bruises, a broken bone, or their life depends on how the fight goes.

However, this is fantasy. It is all happening inside our heads. Our characters are never in danger unless we say they are. They’ll never be hurt unless we allow it. A thousand ghost punches can be thrown and mean absolutely, utterly nothing at all to the state of the character. This is why it is all important to internalize the risks involved.

The writer is in charge of bringing a dose of reality into their fictional world. It is much easier to sell an idea which on some level mimics human behavior and human reactions. The ghost feels physical because we’ve seen it happen on television or relate to it happening to us when we get injured.

You’ve got five senses, use them. You know what it feels like to get injured. To be bruised. To fall down. To be out of breath. Use that.

Here’s something to take with you: when we fight, every technique brings us closer together. Unless it specifically knocks someone back. You need specific distances to be able to use certain techniques. There’s the kicking zone, the punching zone, and the grappling zone. It’s the order of operation, the inevitable fight progression. Eventually, two combatants will transition through all three zones and end up on the ground.

So, keep the zones in mind. If you go, “she punched, and then threw a roundhouse kick” that’s wrong unless you explain more. Why? Because if the character is close enough to throw a punch, then they’re too close to throw most kicks. The roundhouse will just slap a knee or a thigh against the other character’s ribs, and probably get caught. If you go, “she punched, rammed an uppercut into his stomach, and seized him by the back of the head”, then that’s right. You feel the fighters getting progressively closer together, which is how its supposed to work.

Use action verbs, and change them up. Rolled, rotated, spun, punched, kicked, slammed, rammed, jammed, whipped, cracked, etc.

You’ve got to sell it. You need to remember a human’s bodily limits, and place artificial ones. You need to keep track of injuries, every injury comes with a cost. Make sure they aren’t just trading blows forever.

I’ve seen advice that says fights all by themselves aren’t interesting. I challenge that assertion. If you’re good at writing action, then the sequence itself is compelling. You know when you are because it feels real. Your reader will tune out if it isn’t connecting, and the fight scene is a make or break for selling your fantasy. It is difficult to write or create engaging, well choreographed violence that a reader can easily follow and imagine happening.

-Michi

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azurssy  asked:

Do you have any tips for gays whom play morrowind for the first time, also what's ur fave part of the game?

My major tips for Morrowind are : making a good character build and knowing the meta. Plus a bit more

1) A good character build means choosing your stats wisely - I go with the daggerfall rule of “start with your mean of attack above 50″, to avoid getting mad at how you fight. But knowing the meta will also help a lot - spells in Morrowind don’t always clearly indicate what they do, it’s better to know them + have a basic understanding of how rng works, etc. I’d recommend focusing on three attributes at first, depending on how you want to play : I have strength/agility/speed for my barbarian, and agility/speed/personality for my acrobat. Once you start getting through combat easily, place your points in other attributes

2) Do Not store items you never use in your inventory ! Being heavy makes you go less faster and I swear you won’t regret using that potion/scroll/etc. If you are a hardcore RPer, it’s going to be almost impossible for you to store your stuff in a safe place so keep your backpack manageable!

3) Learn how public transportation works. It’ll save you loads of time. Strider and boats alone do the deal,mages guild are cool too, an intervention amulet is a good purchase (you’ll save a lot compared to scrolls), and if you’re up to it, mark/recall and activating the forts are very good. You don’t want to walk the entire ashlands and its cliffracer population naked and alone each time you need to travel.

4) Keep your goddam stamina bar high I swear please don’t forget that 

5) Once you get the money, and especially with a low STR build, get enchanted items they will save your life and make you feel good and avoid carrying 7896876 potions…health regain, invocation, levitation and intervention are the ones I use most

6) SPEAKING OF POTIONS keep cure diseases, cure paralysis and a spare health potion on you, always, they can be heavy but without them you will die. Never go wandering into the wilderness without cure disease they are soooo important diseases in morrowind will fuck you up so badly

7) explore every corner of the map, every nook and cranny of dungeons! morrowind’s level design is amazing, and some very cool items are pretty well hidden. So yes, look behind that chest, dive into that pool, levitate to check out that door, the game will reward you for it!

Acxa: first rule of battle, Ezor, don’t ever let them know where you are.

Zethrid: [running in shouting and shooting] woo-hoo!! I’m right here! I’m right here! you want some of this? yeah, you do! come on! come on!! [dives for cover from an explosion]

Acxa: of course, there are other schools of thought.

(bonus, this is the team’s first combat together, so Ezor just smiles, winks, and is like… yep, out of sight? oh, you got it..)

Time for your recap of tonight’s insanely long session involving werewolves, a blood hunter and mysteries, oh my

  • The best way to ask for glasses in a fantasy town is to SHOUT EXTREMLY LOUD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MARKET
  • If Taliesin Jaffe is your warlock patron he’ll appear at random times to give you stuff when the DM thinks you did something cool. He smells of lavender.
  • “Hey so if you don’t move by tonight everyone might die” “Cool. SHOPPING EPISODE!!!!”
  • First rule of dnd: if there is a giant circle of steaming tentacley blood surrounding you, which your DMs are affectionately calling the pool of doom? Mayhaps get out of it.
  • Hey you know what would really turn a fight in your favor? TURNING YOUR ROGUE INTO A T-REX (he lasted one turn only because of the blood hunter’s fuck shit, but still)
  • Hey, you know what’s also great? SPAWNING AN ELEPHANT IN COMBAT (this is now a Claire accusatory post)
  • Just let the paladin make his final hit non lethal, then open an eversmoking bottle and lose the stopper as your enemy is still conscious at your feet. Everyone needs a returning archenemy.
  • WEREWOLVES. WITH. GUNS.
  • Local warlock who needs glasses asks the Lord of the place and a hero of Exandria where he find his as her first interaction and then calls him a prettyboy, to the absolute despair of her very gay very shy rogue teammate
  • Normal people do have tense 20 minutes telepathic conversations in the middle of a dialogue with the lady of the place, leaving her confused and tired, right? (Let Cass de Rolo Rest 2k17)
  • Our heroes’ next quest: deliver a love letter to Draconia for Lord de Rolo! How badly can they mess this up? Only time will tell!

anonymous asked:

Hello! I have a problem with getting too impatient in my writing. Like, I hate writing introductions because I just want to start the story but there are things that need to be explained, and I have trouble building tension because I rush and then the climax isn't as exciting. How do I combat this?

Hiya! Thanks for your question. A lot of writers have this problem, so don’t worry!

First things first, it’s perfectly okay to write your story out of order. There’s no rule that says you should start with the introduction. If you want to write the climax first, then go for it. It can actually make writing the intro easier when you know where you want to go and what needs to be foreshadowed. A lot of authors write their novels backward. Everyone has a different method of writing that works best for them.

As for building tension, there’s a great LGF post here that provides some awesome tips on how to build tension in a story.

Thanks for your question. If you need any more tips on writing, send us another ask! Happy writing!

- Mod Kellie


If you need advice on general writing or fanfiction, you should maybe ask us!

anonymous asked:

How realistic was Laura fighting in Logan? She's 11. Her bones would theoretically still be pretty soft, but she's also a mutant who heals almost instantly. While she does often lose to adults when they swarm her, she also kills a lot of people. In addition, she falls in a weird limbo between Child Solider and Child Raised for Combat because the people who trained her from birth treated her as disposable, and didn't try to brainwash her. As a result, she escapes ASAP. Thoughts?

Well, I haven’t seen Logan yet but the problem with the question is “realistic”. This is X-men, realism left the building ages ago. Nothing is realistic. If you’re asking about realism then you’re asking the wrong questions because superpowers change the rules. What you’re really asking is: should an eleven year old child be able to fight on the same level as an experienced warrior like Wolverine?

And the answer is, in the Marvel universe characters with healing factors (like Wolverine) have recovered from being burned into ash by the sun. So, in a setting where his healing factor is failing and he’s dying but she’s young, genetically/physically enhanced, and hers is working at full throttle then why not? She’s a tiny Logan. A rage-filled murder ball dedicated to death and destruction, created in a lab that turns human guinea pigs into ultimate weapons. So, I ask, why not? She’s doing exactly what she’s been designed to do, minus it being on the orders of someone else.

What stops children from competing with adults is three things.

1) Physical immaturity. Their bodies are still developing, and not on par with an adults.

2) Mental immaturity. Their brains are still developing, and don’t have the same basic understanding that adults do especially in regards to consequences. They don’t really grasp concepts like “death” and “gone forever” very well. Psychologically, these kids get pretty messed up.

3) Due to the above two problems, unless they have weapons, they can’t overcome the gap.

X-23 does all three. She has the healing factor, genetic enhancements, and blades coming out of her hands and front toe, all of which solve two of the above problems. They allow her to go toe to toe with adults because she can simply power or brute force her way through it. From a combat perspective, it doesn’t really matter if she gets hurt or go through serious body horror as her body will repair itself. So, someone without morals could put her through a meat grinder and still use her again. Plus, at least in X-men Evolution and the comics, she tends to be psychologically messed up. Someone who was treated as a weapon from the moment she was born, trained as a weapon, used as a weapon, and doesn’t really comprehend most “normal” human experiences. A clone with all Wolverine’s experiences, except she went through them as a child.

Laura Kinney, X-23 is by all standards a fairly new character in the Marvel universe. She was first introduced in the early 2000s through the WB cartoon X-Men: Evolution. Like Harely Quinn, she’s a canon immigrant. When she was introduced in the cartoon, she was a teenager.

In character, she was an angry violent rage-ball, a teenage version of Logan except more lost and unstable. However, the major difference between their experiences was that where Logan was an adult when he went through the Weapon X program, she was a child. She was the twenty-third test subject, and the only one who survived the experiments. X-23 was desperate to find out who she was and where she belonged; and, having been “raised” by Hydra, determined to find (and, possibly kill) Wolverine whom she viewed as responsible for everything that happened to her. That desire was mixed up in her desire to know who she was. Because she was a human weapon, she couldn’t distinguish between the two. Fighting was what she knew how to do, so that’s what she did. Her introduction was sneaking through the X-men mansion, disabling all the other mutant children and teachers in order to single Logan out to fight.

As a character, considering everything else, she was a fairly accurate representation of a child raised to be a human weapon. Psychologically traumatized, unstable, and unable to really comprehend her emotions or concepts like “friendship” and “family”. Deeply mistrustful of anyone and anything who got too close, unable to communicate her needs except through anger and violence. Any approach was likely to elicit an immediate, violent response. She doesn’t know how to be anything except a weapon.

Logan could reach her because Logan understood what she’d been through, but he also couldn’t really help her and it took a long time before she came to trust him (if she ever really did). That door didn’t open often for anyone else.

If you want to see her first appearances then the episodes to watch are “X23″ and “Target X”.  The name “Laura Kinney” comes (I think) from the comics as she originally did not have any name other than X-23.

In the comics, she’s another of the Weapon X subjects and the 23 refers to her gender rather than the number of times it took to create her. She escapes like she does in the movie, and eventually starts trying to figure out who she is.

It’s not really worth asking questions about realism when a setting has explicitly ejected realism. Have a good guffaw over anyone trying to argue about the “realism of Batman”. There isn’t any. The setting has defined its own definition of realism and that’s what it follows. Realism isn’t everything, and it doesn’t define what a good story is. Often, it’s not even the question you should be asking. Avatar: the Las Airbender has some awesome fighting for a children’s cartoon, fighting clearly drawn (ha!) from martial arts in the real world. However, it is by no means realistic. And, honestly, that doesn’t matter.

Well-told stories are defined by how well they tell their stories, and maintain their suspension of disbelief. Everything else after that is popcorn. Realism comes into play when we admire how well someone has done their research, how well that research supports and enhances our experience when consuming media. You don’t want to understand combat just for an added dose of realism, but also because knowledge gives us more options to work with. The more you know, the more detail you can add. All the better to create a more enjoyable experience, my dear.

Understanding the rules is the first step in figuring out how to break them, or just manipulate them to your advantage. Whatever works.

-Michi

This blog is supported through Patreon. If you enjoy our content, please consider becoming a Patron. Every contribution helps keep us online, and writing. If you already are a Patron, thank you.

you know as someone who knows Jack Diddly Fuck about DnD, watching Dice, Camera, Action is a fucking trip

It’s actually really intriguing to try and glean all the rules from just watching people play, like how the entire structure of the game changes when combat begins, how everyone rolls initiative and the higher numbers go first, how different classes can cast particular spells to harm their enemies or help their allies and add to their numbers (sometimes just barely getting them over the threshold of going through with their actions/landing hits), seeing how not only can players use their various weapons and stack abilities into one move, but also how they can actually use their environment to completely change around the fight and actually give an advantage to the team, learning how distance actually does matter due to certain spells and abilities having limits

and it’s such a contrast to downtime, where yes, everyone gets a turn, but it sort of happens haphazardly and in no particular order

as well as lasting however long is needed (especially with conversations)

It’s interesting to see how different dice are used, how many different-sided die are needed, and how they can help or hinder a person’s action

and whenever I see the guys actually writing down notes about the Lore that they’re getting, it just makes me so happy to see, it feels like a real adventure

Also the sheer amount of fuckery that can go on is astonishing

(also DMs are fucking amazing with how much they have to keep track of, major props to them)

tl;dr DCA is Good Shit

❝ cowboy bebop ❞ starter meme

includes: sci-fi, noir, music,

  • “ This is real mystic and all, but uh, do you have anything to eat here? ”
  • “ You take women too lightly, my friend. ”
  • “ I’m just an old-fashioned cowboy. ”
  • “ I hate kids and pets. They’re all a royal pain in the butt! ”
  • “ You know the first rule in combat? Shoot them before they shoot you. ”
  • “ It’s calling me… The great outdoors are calling out to me… ”
  • “ It’s a dream no matter how far I go; I can never reach reality, trapped in an endless nightmare. ”
  • When you’re told not to open something, well, who can resist? ”
  • “ You know what they say, cowboy. Easy come easy go. ”
  • “ Hey, thanks a lot for the warm welcome. ”
  • “ I’m sure she’s somewhere screwing up and getting in trouble. ”
  • “ The same blood runs through both of us. The blood of a beast who wanders, hunting for the blood of others. ”
  • “ I’ve bled all that kind of blood away. ”
  • “ I was wailing the blues since the doctor whacked my bottom on the day I was born. ”
  • “ I was a fan of the blues since I was in my daddy’s sack, if you know what I mean! ”
  • “ Bang. ”
  • “ Come on, can’t you show a little mercy and compassion? ”
  • “ Water can take any form. It drifts without effort one moment then pounds down in a torrent the very next. ”
  • “ 2 meters tall. Ex-basketball player. Beautiful kid. And on top of it, a gay alien. ”
  • “ Humans were meant to work and sweat to earn a living. Those that try to get rich quick, or live at the expense of others, all get divine retribution somewhere along the line. ”
  • “ “Survival of the fittest” is the laws of nature. We deceive. Or we are deceived. Thus, we flourish. Or, perish. ”
  • “ Nothing good ever happened to me when I trusted others. ”
  • “ True, your heart is colder than any planet. Colder than the eyes of a serpent about to strike. ”
  • “ I’m the only one who can keep you alive… And I’m the only one that can kill you… ”
  • “ Do you want to know something about my past that nobody else does? ”
  • “ Most things get better when I kick them… ”
  • “ Cause really…there’s nothing as pure and cruel as a child. ”
  • “ I don’t read the horoscope any more. ”
  • “ See you, Space Cowboy… ”
  • “ It’s the best. Belonging is the very best thing there is. ”
  • “ Don’t forget, a snake’s venom poisons slowly after the bite. ”
  • “ And you will shed tears of scarlet. ”
  • “ Men only think of their past right before their death, as if they were searching frantically for proof that they were alive. ”
  • “ Since then, I have seen the past in one eye, and the present in the other. ”
  • “ I’m not going there to die. I’m going to find out if I’m really alive. ”

Bonus title card prompts for drabbles.

  • You’re gonna carry that weight.
  • Easy come, easy go.
  • Do you have a comrade?
  • Sleeping beast.
  • Life is but a dream.
  • Are you living in the real world?
  • See you, cowgirl. Someday, somewhere!
  • See you, space cowboy.
Session Two: Stray Dog Strut

The last thing Sanzo was expecting today when he entered the alleyway is to find that guy with the bright hair from the encounter at the vending machine (with whom Sanzo wound-up actually having a decent conversation with nonetheless). The guy looks like shit too. Like he got assed out in a fight.

“You know the first rule of combat? Shoot them before they shoot you.”

Kakashi Hatake Meta

I was supremely pissed off over a YouTube video by WatchMojo.com over top 10 anime mentors. The list wasn’t so bad but for one thing. Hatake Kakashi was on it and he was ranked #2. That couldn’t go unanswered. So I wrote this in the comments section and decided to re-post it to Tumblr because I was pretty proud of it. Perfect Lionheart sold me on his arguments a LONG time ago. 


Okay, Kakashi on this list is absolute 110,000% BULLSHIT! He wasn’t worth a warm bucket of piss as a teacher! 

He taught them three exercises in between completely disrespecting them (he couldn’t be bothered to show up on time for his responsibilities or not read PORN when he was around children) and losing his one assignment which was making sure that Sasuke became a good and loyal ninja of the Leaf. 

No his job WASN’T to train the 3 of them you can tell because Naruto and Sakura (well Naruto anyway) only started seriously improving the second they were away from him for any length of time. 

 The best mentor that Naruto had wasn’t Hatake or Jiraiya for that matter, it was Fukusaku the toad that thought Naruto Senjutsu. Because Naruto was barely a Chuunin when he left to train and a Kage when he returned. 

 Even amongst his fellow teachers of the main characters Kakashi was by far the worst. Gai was the best. Gai was experienced, strong, eager to teach, polite, and fashion choices aside an absolute magnificent role model for all people everywhere. His students were strong, well trained, efficient, loyal both to him and Konoha, and they worshipped him as much as he loved them. Gai made everything a challenge to overcome. Even his morning jog was just one more test and one more chance to become stronger and he imparted that lesson to his pupils. 

 As far as proof for Kakashi’s incompetence and negligence, let us just take the bell test for example. Or rather his first two and a half days on the job as the “Leader” of Team 7. 

Kakashi show’s up hours late for the very important first meeting where he gives his charges no reason to trust him (tardiness, “Hobbies? I don’t feel like telling you), his word (don’t eat tomorrow morning you will throw up), his skills (the eraser), or his commitment to anything. Then this smug son of a bitch proceeds to starve his charges and show up hours late. 

When the test really begins he makes no effort to ascertain for himself how talented or skilled the team is supposed to be in a vacuum which would have been done easily if they just sparred against each other.  

Instead he disrespects his SUBORDINATE SOLDIERS by giving them no information on how to conduct themselves or how to succeed in this test. He also doesn’t respect them enough to give them a thorough beating one on one which he (supposedly) could do any time to show how far more advanced he is. 

When Naruto challenges him directly and then sends a legion of clones to attack, Kakashi reads porn and deflects each blow or uses a trick to get out of Naruto’s trap. 

Now I know I may harp on about the whole ‘reading porn’ thing but you must understand that what he is saying is that he doesn’t respect himself or others enough to just behave politely and not wave it in everyone’s face that he is doing something completely inappropriate and that not a single one of the “peasants” for lack of a better term, can stop him. 

He doesn’t focus on Naruto and throw back each and every thing the boy does while teaching him which is what the man is paid to do. He should have addressed Naruto and his problems directly and overemphasized his obvious needs and desires. Knocking back every attack easily and then blasting away Naruto’s clones with an area attack while telling the boy that his taijutsu is terrible and "1000 times nothing is still nothing!” But that would take effort. He never says that he would improve both because he can’t stomach a Hokage that can’t throw a proper punch. 

Phrasing every task Naruto ever complained about in those respects would have done two things, made him eager to work and shut up. But Kakashi was to fucking lazy to be encouraging. 

If Naruto continued to come after him he would have seen that this boy had commitment and energy in spades and all he needed to do was point that in the right direction. 

 He doesn’t engage Sakura at all. He gives her one illusion that makes her pass out and then forgets about her. He just jeopardized all of their lives by not making sure that Sakura is up to the physical or psychological challenges they WILL face. And she doesn’t credibly improve in any way as a ninja from this point until she is apprenticed by someone who knows what the hell they are doing. 

 He doesn’t get any feel for Sasuke. 

Let me take a moment and say that I know goddamn well why they gave HIM these students. It was so that if Naruto asks questions about his origins he could answer them or if the Kyuubi gets loose or takes control he can kill Naruto. If the student with the best written exams can’t make it in the field then at the very least Sakura could wind up as a codebreaker or something. Low risk high reward. 

But let us make no mistake, Team 7 was built for one purpose and that was to see Sasuke succeed. They put the last Uchiha in Konoha with the last man who has a sharingan, who knows a lot of ninjutsu, and doesn’t work him too hard. 

I bet those misogynistic bastards who came up with the team assignments even thought that they were ‘giving’ Sasuke Sakura in some sick attempt to breed them. 

 Sasuke has shown by the time he is buried up to his neck that he is disdainful of his teammates and ties to anything connecting him to Konoha, ignorant, arrogant, selfish, self-righteous, spoiled, and immature even for a young boy. And neither during this test or anything afterwards changes that. It also shows that he is desperate to prove something or else why would NINJA perform well in straightforward tests like the ones used in the Academy. 

Shino and Shikamaru had a brain in their (well adjusted) heads so they phoned it in. 

Also Kakashi doesn’t show for one moment that he understands Sasuke and where he’s coming from, neither does he tell or show the boy “I am strong by your definition, follow me and you will be strong too” we know this because he hardly teaches him anything and then when he is forced by circumstances he teaches Sasuke precisely ONE attack that quickly is found obsolete the first goddamn day he uses it in a combat situation. 

This is quickly followed by Kakashi getting his ass whooped effortlessly by Itachi when they fight after the Sound invasion. Now all of this is relatively excusable if not for two lessons he wanted to impart upon his students

One: Rules are arbitrary, unseen, and need not be followed. 

 Two: Don’t trust each other or work together outside of conspiring against each other. 

 Kakashi has tied Naruto to one of those posts. 

As an aside, doing this is Hazing in every military, school, or professional organization in the western world. 

Naruto will go without food and the others are forbidden to give him food. So hazing, child abuse, and now the idea of helping your comrades when they are in dire need is strongly discouraged. 

So that will get them killed in combat. Then he ignores all of that and declares that they have passed his tests because they disregarded the orders of a superior officer and judicial authority. But he didn’t care about his orders mattering or not anyway. 

 You must remember Hatake just taught this to one child who wants to become a military dictator, one who doesn’t care about anyone but himself, and one who only cares about the selfish one and even there it’s more out of getting the better of Ino than any real or justified affection. 

 The real problem with the bell test is that it puts two of the students against the third. That means that they start off their careers knowing that they can’t trust the people they work with in a combat situation or in any situation really. That means that they won’t be worried about the armed men in front of them but the armed men in behind of them who are measuring their backs for a knife. 

To tell how much this attitude has truly set in you just have to see what happened to Naruto at the end. 

He is still tied to the post. 

How is he supposed to get out of that? He can’t use his arms to make a clone to untie him, he can’t cut himself free. And if they leave him there exactly what is the rest of the team supposed to say to him? “Gee, sorry we left you to die of exposure” Naruto has no reason to trust them to help him or to do their own part in a fight ever. 

And you know what? This is actually borne out. 

Naruto is the one who saves everyone time and time again until the Orochimaru fight in the Forest. 

HE is burdened by THEM. 

Kakashi is a miserable excuse for a mentor, teacher, commander, soldier, and a human being qualities he easily imparts upon his students that they suffer with for the rest of the series. And he is never ONCE called on that.

teal0cean  asked:

Hey just found this blog its Amazing! Thanks for existing! Can i ask you for some pointers? I have a character born without an arm and im trying to figure out his fighting style. He's physically fit and heavily trained. Any advice?

As a writer, you need to know how something works before you start trying to break it. It doesn’t matter whether it’s guerrilla warfare against an oppressive regime or a hand to hand duel. You need to know what the pieces are, and what they’re used for. This is doubly important when writing about or crafting characters with disabilities because the status quo has a direct effect on them and their existence. Most of the time, they must come up with alternate solutions.

You can’t develop alternate approaches for a character with one arm when you don’t know why both arms (and hands) are important in martial combat. Think of your character as an ingenious problem solver. He looks at the status quo rules with a new set of eyes, determined to find ways in which they can be beaten, adapted, and overcome.

You can’t write a rebel if you don’t know the rules. You can’t think outside the box if you don’t know what’s in it. Start with the status quo, establish what it is, then expand outward.

I have two rules whenever setting out to write a character with any disability (mental or physical).

First: Have a firm grasp of your setting and the types of combat, including culture and standard requirements such as with a military that you wish for your disabled character to be taking part in. Essentially, the world as it is for someone who is considered defacto “normal” by the mass majority of its citizenry i.e. nurotypical or able-bodied.

This is the world your character will inhabit. If you want to understand a character who is outside of what the vast majority consider normal, you need to start by determining what that normal is.

You can’t answer the question of “what is combat like for a character with one arm?” if you don’t understand on a basic level the function of arms in combat.

You can’t answer question about their experiences if you don’t know what the attitudes are toward able-bodied combatants even before we get to a disability. If you want to write a character who is a soldier but only has one arm then you’ll run up against questions like, “how do his buddies feel about going into battle and entrusting their lives with a one armed guy?”

Those questions are based in societal perceptions about disability. Now, there are plenty of real live human beings throughout history who have adapted their disabilities to suit their needs, survived, and thrived.

Yet, you will still find plenty of “able-bodied” people in the world who see disability as an insurmountable obstacle. Just like any number of men will say that women can’t fight, even though there are women everywhere from professional fighting to sports to law enforcement to military. Perception and reality are different, but often perception informs how we view and see ourselves, and what we believe to be possible.

The beast of fiction relies on established rules and all outsider characters in fiction rely on the author having a firm grasp on social conventions to communicate what exactly it is that they are defying.

You can’t craft solutions if you don’t know what the problem you’re trying to adapt to is. As a writer, you need to figure out how a character fights with two arms, two hands, two legs, two feet and why all the appendages are important before you move on to how they fight while missing one.

Second: Understand the limitations of the disability. What can the person do? What can they not do? How does this conflict with the expectations created for the “normal” or able-bodied who also participate? How it affects the character’s life. The perception of them by the others versus their perception of themselves.

You can’t skip the portion of “learning about combat” and go straight to “how disabled person fights” because, well, it doesn’t work like that. In addition, you won’t gain any appreciation for the level of work involved, the ingenuity, creativity, out of the box thinking, and general guts it takes to blatantly challenge social convention.

You’ve got a character who has to learn how things are “supposed to be” then adapt everything out and come up with strategies to beat what is considered to be, by most people, an insurmountable disadvantage.

They’ve got to find other characters in their desired field who are willing to teach them, work with them, and devise new ways of approaching combat/their martial art.

This is not an automatic assumption. Those people, just like the people who do in real life, will take on the social stigma and more than likely the accusation that they are just sending the protagonist out to die.

The infantilization of the disabled is very real and such a character requires a support network of those willing to assist them. Training in martial combat requires a team of people. A master and those willing to submit themselves to be practice dummies while the student learns.

It’s going to take a lot of trial and error on their part because this sort of training doesn’t come prepackaged.

And you, yes, you are going to have to most of that research and lay the groundwork yourself.

The fighting style doesn’t matter, except when it comes to the setting, timeframe, availability of the training, and the requirements of the job.

Plenty of people of all shapes and sizes get into martial arts, martial combat, professional fighting, etc. These people do so out of interest, not based on what is statistically relevant. If you’re looking at training in martial arts based off of “what’s best for my size and shape” then you’re going about it wrong.

When writing a character with a disability, you’re going to be doing the vast majority of the work by yourself. There are real life examples to draw from, which I will get to below, but you and you alone are going to be responsible for your research. There is no handy, easy chart or common martial art specifically developed to be suitable for a character with only one arm.

The character trains in and adapts their chosen martial style to suit them, developing strategies to deal with their opponents. In this way, they are just like every single other person on the planet. It’s just more obvious and therefore, more difficult. Especially when you, the writer do not share in that disability and must teach yourself an entirely new way of thinking/looking at the world while also convincing yourself (for the purposes of writing this character) that that other way is your new normal. Instead of wondering what it’s like to be without an arm, you’ve got to forget that you’ve ever had one.

You are going to be doing what you should be doing for any character you write. In this case, the differences are just more pronounced.

If your character cared about “the best way for someone like me”, he wouldn’t be doing this at all. Conventional wisdom would kill his fighting dreams right out of the gate.

You’ve got a character who when the world said “there’s no room prepared here for you.”

He said, “That’s okay, I’ll do it anyway.”

He went out, found someone to teach him, and pursued his dreams in the face of social convention. Those deep desires should be the foundation for how you pick his martial style. Base it off of what he wants, what he wants to be, and what he thought would be the best way to get there.

Don’t think about that missing arm.

In this decision making process, it’s irrelevant. He chose to pursue what he wanted regardless of what conventional wisdom said. His disability is not going to factor in until the time to learn comes.

For example, I have ADD. Born with it, diagnosed in the second grade. Was always considered to be “strange” even before my diagnosis. When I was in kindergarten, KWJN Gary Nakahama and his Palo Alto West Coast Demo team came to my elementary school and put on a presentation.

I was five years old and enthralled. I grabbed one of the flyers they were handing out, carefully stashed it in my backpack, held it in my head until my parents picked me up from afterschool daycare, and begged them to sign me up for classes.

Now, I have three black belts in Taekwondo.

This is the story of thousands of kids all around the world and I didn’t even need to add my mental disability as a qualifier, but I did because we’re talking about disabilities and how, at this stage, they really don’t matter.

The desires this character is going to have and the drive to pursue what they’re going to do come from events in their own life, like anyone else. The specific martial art can be a choice made by chance or research.

Here’s a few more examples.

Nick Newell, born with a congenital amputation of his left arm, wanted to be a UFC fighter and found a gym willing to train him. He was a walk-in. Now, he’s a UFC Champion.

Johnny Tai, a blind man, who already possessed a brown belt in Taekwondo but began training in Krav Maga because his blindness restricted him from participating in competitions.

There are multiple other examples of other martial artists with disabilities who sought out training, either because they wanted to defend themselves, because they were interested, because they wanted to do competition, because they wanted to be on TV, the list goes on. The story behind why they began learning is ultimately going to be more relevant due to their desires than their disability. Training for martial combat is a long, difficult process on its own. Your character is going to be better off doing it because they love it rather than for some mythical, statistical “better”.

Most people who go in for “better” or “best” often end up miserable and quit.

Research different martial arts. Pick one. Learn everything you can about it. Then figure out how it applies to your character and how your character applies it. As needed check for stories about those with disabilities and martial arts programs which cater to them. Learn about them, and use them to help further your character within their setting.

More on Nick Newell:

Check out Nick Newell for inspiration. He’s a UFC fighter born with a congenital amputation of his left arm. He’s made a pretty good career for himself on the professional fighting circuit.

Now, before you get too excited, remember that combat on the street or on a battlefield has different priorities than combat in the arena. You can’t just take one and slap it onto the other. It’ll work out about as well as Gina Carano in Haywire where they decided to use straight UFC combat for their action sequences with Federal Agents. The problem with UFC combat is primarily it’s perennial focus on grappling. It isn’t about ending fights quickly, like most forms of entertainment, it’s about extending them.

Boxing and other forms of bloodsport are where the misnomer about the amount of time combat takes come from. Street fights are usually under a minute, usually withing the 30 second range. It’s fast and it’s over.

UFC makes its money on butts in the seats. If the fight’s over in a few seconds then the crowd leaves disappointed. One of the major complaints levered against Ronda Rousey, for example, was that she’d end a fight in the first few minutes rather than being a showman.

So, instead of looking at Newell’s fighting as a source of inspiration, my suggestion is to look at Newell himself. Look at his determination to overcome a handicap most people thought to be impossible, even on an amateur level. Look at the way he and his trainers adapted the techniques he used in order to make that handicap (missing half his arm) his strength. Look at how he made his lack of a lower arm part of his fighting style and transformed what most saw as a disadvantage into a championship winning strategy.

However, also look at the resistance to him from other members of the UFC community. His difficulty at getting fights. The way he was occasionally pidgeonholed as a sideshow act, and how many fighters turned down bouts with him because they saw it as a lose/lose situation for them.

Don’t copy Newell.

Instead, research the core of personal dedication which brought Newell success, his strategies, the training devised for him, his approach, and the discrimination he faced. Try to get at the underlying principles of how someone with a disability adapts their techniques to their advantage, rather than trying to force fit them into a preconcieved notion of what a fighter is.

To do that, you need to understand the type of combat that you plan on writing in your novel and what the general rules associated with it are. This is both from a technical/technique standpoint and a cultural one.

Writing disability in fiction requires a lot of research on the simple basis that someone who is disabled is actively influenced by the culture that surrounds them and how it perceives them. A disability is not the total sum of a disabled person’s being, and it’s wrong to present it that way. For them it’s a fact of life, a part of themselves they negotiate around and adapt strategies for. It’s the rest of society at large who try to define a disabled person by their disability.

-Michi

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cute first date idea

“Cute first date idea: hand to hand combat”

requested by anonymous


“Colton. Get in the cabinet.” You hiss, hearing the car pull up. His eyes go wide, and you open the cabinet door. He climbs in, and grabs a towel to hold against his mouth, to keep quiet. You give him a frantic look, images of the past flickering behind your lids.

“You know the rule. If I don’t get you by the time you count to 20,000, you run. Quietly, and invisible.”

“Quiet and invisible.” He says with his familiar lisp. You smile, and cup his cheek for a fraction of a second.

Men dragging you from your camp. Burning it to the ground. Using you as Z bait.

You made a vow, on the day you escaped, to never go back there. To keep Colton safe.

You’ll die before they get him.

Keep reading

Real Madrid as Harry Potter characters

Cristiano Ronaldo as Harry Potter

The living legend that everyone knows, the Chosen One. Some people love him, some hate him to death (mainly Voldemort and culés). Saves the world most of the time, loves his house (club). Unlike real Harry, doesn’t have the scar (he thanks God for it every morning).

James Rodríguez as Ginny Weasley

Desperately in love with Harry (Cris) since Day 1. At the first sight quiet and shy, but actually very skilled in combat and will never step down. Doesn’t need protection, can take care of himself (well, except that one time with the basilisk, you know).

Fábio Coentrao as Ron Weasley

In love with Cris as well (but let’s just call them best friends). Mostly lives in Cris’ shadow but he’ll content himself with less fame and more family happiness. Let’s be honest, every big wizard needs a friend like this.

Isco as Hermione Granger

The brightest wizard of his age, talented, also really badass. Doesn’t really like breaking the rules, but understands that sometimes it’s necessary. Kinda awkward when it comes to relationships other than friendship, but would never leave a person in need behind.

Gareth Bale as Hagrid

The giant that loves Cristiano, James, Fábio… hell, everyone. But he prefers to protect them and watch over them than mingle in their teenage loves.

Marcelo&Pepe as Fred&George

Inseparable, with their own sense of humor that tends to be dangerous. Their friends love them, the professors (referees) not that much.

Asier Illarramendi as Nymphadora Tonks

People sometimes think of him as of the clumsiest person in the world and generally underestimate him, but he truly loves his friends and would die for them. He’s still a big child inside, though.

Karim Benzema as Madame Maxime

You don’t want to mess with him - there is a kind heart underneath the imposing exterior, but still, making a half-giant angry is never a good idea.

Sergio Ramos as Sirius Black

The guy that always gets into problems, though not always it’s his fault. Would die for his friends and mainly for his godson (Cris). True Marauder, no pranks no fun, acts first, thinks later.

Luka Modrić as Neville Longbottom

The one with sad childhood, the one everyone used to make fun of. At the beginning, nobody thought he could be big. But he grew up into a great wizard always ready to help his friends.

Toni Kroos as Luna Lovegood

The kind one, somehow odd but extremely loyal and supportive. Doesn’t belong into the immediate pack of Cristiano’s suitors, but he values his friendship highly.

Raphael Varane as Fleur Delacour

The French beauty that people tend to underestimate, but Beauxbatons (aka French NT) taught him enough to be ready to fight a war. Proud and fierce, but with a good heart.

Lucas Silva as Colin Creevey

Most of the time just observes and is starstruck by Cristiano (and pretty much everyone that comes near him).

Keylor Navas as Remus Lupin

People used to be suspicious towards him, but he eventually won most of their hearts. Very skilled and brave, a bit socially awkward, generally the uncle-figure.

Jesé Rodríguez as Viktor Krum

Was a Quidditch star at a young age, then injuries interrupted his career, but he is still destined to achieve great things.

Daniel Carvajal as Seamus Finnigan

Friendly and loyal, also skillful, though you never know when he makes something explode accidentally.

Álvaro Arbeloa as Peeves

Annoys pretty much everyone, everyone wants him gone, but he refuses to move.

Martin Odegaard as Albus Severus Potter

We don’t know what he will become yet, but Hogwarts surely can make him big.

Nacho Fernández as Lavender Brown

Stands in the background most of the time, but wants the attention and love. Also, very loyal and more brave than anyone thinks.

Casemiro as Dean Thomas

Muggle-born, but learns quickly. Working hard to get his place in the Quidditch team.

Denis Cheryshev as Nigel Wolpert

Starstruck by Cristiano even more than Colin Creevey (Lucas Silva), not regarded very highly but actually is quite skillful.

Florentino as Lord Voldemort

Do you need me to explain this?

Notable former members

Iker Casillas as Cedric Diggory

The embodiment of all Hogwarts’ values, true champion, brave, clever, loving, kind. Killed by Voldemort.

Álvaro Morata as Oliver Wood

Talented Quidditch player that didn’t quite live up to his potential at Hogwarts, but made a decent career elsewhere. He later returned to Hogwarts for the final battle and Voldemort didn’t like it at all.

José Mourinho as Severus Snape

Hated by some, adored by others (mainly the Slytherins of course). Achieved great things but could probably do even better if some people weren’t spoiling it. Killed by Voldemort (what a surprise).

Guti as Gilderoy Lockhart

His looks and quotes sometimes outshone his deeds. The sex symbol of the wizarding world.

Request a team and/or a show!

List of my recastings so far

“y'all hate jaune because he is white and male”

Realise that there are other reasons besides that. I don’t even hate him but he is poorly written. I see people saying he’s a “GREAT CHARACTER” and I cringe at some of his defense squad. You can like jaune and still acknowledge that he can be written poorly and given leading roles in irrelevant arcs that do nothing to move the plot (cardin and the prom). There’s a reason why people dislike his amount of screentime and its not always because “OMG WHITE MALE GRRR.” I don’t deny there are people who hate him for those reasons but there are actual issues with how he’s written that irks others.

He is a character that people see as obnoxious because he can’t take no for answer with Weiss (boring tiresome joke that continued for 2 volumes and into chibi rwby).
He desperately faked transcripts to get into beacon and goes on how he wants to be a “hero” like his grandad yet he doesn’t even try, falls asleep in class, throws a tantrum, pushing pyrrha away when she first offered to help him learn how to fight because “I have to do this all on my own!!11”. Getting combat guidance from a student that is a champion and earned her way into beacon should have been exactly what he wanted but no, “muh pride”.
He doesn’t even know what an aura and semblence is, yet he comes from a family of warriors. YEAHOKAY. How do you not even know the basic rules of your own universe? if he’s suppose to be an “audience surrogate”, don’t write him in a way that contradicts what he is suppose to know.
He is a character, that in already poorly paced show where barely any progression happens in the first volume, makes it feel even slower by giving screentime that people feel could have been given to the 4 advertised leads.

I can see why some people like him, he is dorkish and pretty much a foil to all the other combat-capable characters, and people root for him because he’s the underdog. That doesn’t change the fact his existence highlights the flaws in the actual show as a whole, from the underdeveloped main cast to irrelevant arcs and the poor pacing. He has more character development than the actual advertised main character Ruby, that should already be a red flag.

Some of you act like rwby has this perfect written universe and story, yet the number of plot holes, bad pacing, contradictions and character reversals (adam anyone?) people pretend don’t exist makes me just laugh. Y'all act like the crwby can do no wrong. Miles shat on Korra on twitter but that series had much better story, characters (and character development), world building, universe, much more consistent “superpower” system, actual queer representation… I mean Korra had many flaws but how can he say it “could’ve been something,but missed it by an inch” when his own show is missing its step by a mile? (no pun intended lol)

You can still enjoy rwby and acknowledge its flaws. Hell, I’ve enjoyed some really shitty video games with low scores but at least I know it’s shit.

Oh yeah. don’t get me started on Jaune’s rabid haters too. RT released a hoodie with pumpkin pete and a bunch of Jaune’s loyal haters squad were triggered and had their anuses prolapsed in unison because of…. 1 piece of merchandise. That FANS ASKED FOR. I’m sorry but LOOOOL. That should already tell you how irrational some of the haters are.