you know i wanted to make something different

To the person reading this:

I just want to tell you something.  Life can be hard sometimes.  Whether you are struggling mentally, physically, emotionally, or something else, know that your struggle is valid.  Don’t let anyone tell you that “you aren’t sick enough” “your life wasn’t bad enough” “people have it worse off than you” .  Everyone deals with life differently.  Two people could experience the same exact event at the same time and still be affected differently.  Also just because you may not look like the stereotypical description of your struggle, doesn’t make your struggle any less valid.

Have depression and are withdrawn, sad a lot, or any other stereotypical behavior?  That is completely valid and ok.

Have depression but smile all the time or don’t “show” that you are depressed? That is completely valid and ok.

Have anxiety and are always tense/nervous/restless?  That is completely valid and ok.

Have anxiety but seem calm and relaxed outwardly?  That is completely valid and ok.

Have a physical disability where you need a mobility aid? That is completely valid and ok.

Have a physical disability but don’t need a mobility aid? That is completely valid and ok.

Need a mobility aid some times but not others?  Still completely valid and ok.

These are just some examples of different ways people could be struggling even if they don’t show it.

Never judge a person by their appearance


I am here for you.  I want to help you.  You are amazing and beautiful and i hope one day you realize that..  

americandisneyprincess  asked:

Hey Spilly, I'm a follower and I just wanted to say that I really appreciate you defending your faith and stuff against all these people trying to call you things that you're not. I'd definitely be too scared to do that, but I agree with you 100%. You're speaking the truth, keep up the good work :)

Thank you 💙💙💙

Tbh I hate it. It’s not something I enjoy, I don’t do it for fun or because I like making people mad. I really don’t, I suck at getting my thoughts across sometimes and definitely at keeping my cool.

I know I have followers and friends who believe differently and I’m always afraid that they’ll end up feeling attacked or that I’m not showing them enough love. I know I’m never getting it completely right.

But it scares me far more to think of seeing God in the end and knowing I’d been too afraid to tell other people about Him, or worse, that I’d denied Him to them.

People are dying and going to hell every single day because they believe lies instead of the truth. That’s terrifying. That’s why I try to speak up even though I hate it.

Anyway, thanks for the encouragement. Messages like this really help, it’s so easy to feel alone or wonder if you really are doing any good!

This is your friendly reminder that just because you write certain characters differently than how “bigger blogs” write or headcanon them doesn’t mean you’re wrong or that you can’t be successful!! Every writer brings something different to a character and that’s FANTASTIC

anonymous asked:

My parents overheard a conversation I had with my friend and now they know I'm gay even though i wasn't ready to tell them and i still don't want to talk to them about it and they think its a phase and I'm freaking out.

If you don’t want to talk about it than you don’t have to. That they overheard the conversation is unfortunate but something you can’t change now. If they treat you different now, by making useless comments about it or anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, make sure to not give it too much thought. You yourself know what you feel and that it’s not a phase. Don’t let other people tell you who you are

anonymous asked:

Isn't it crazy that people start reblogging pics of him in Budapest just now even though those pics are from days ago? Are their teams really this worried we could find out they're spending a few days together? Would the world come crashing down if we were right? Why are they so scared? Also, can I just say I'm glad I guessed wrong about him posting from Budapest to stop possible speculations? It made me smile that he posted a pic of himself in costume just a few minutes after I wrote you.

There are so many theories swirling around about covering up their relationship that half the time I believe something different than I do the other half. The one consistency is timing. The second we get a location, there seems to be photos that miraculously appear showing the other in a different location. It does make you wonder, then again I don’t want to go through my day being paranoid about what I post on my blog, because I don’t know who might be reading it. But I do agree that it’s nice Sam posted a generic promo post.

Birthday Gifts Collaborations

Hey there! <3

Since tomorrow is my birthday (august 17th) and it won’t be celebrated in my house (for different reasons), i wanted to humbly ask you for help! So this is basically like a “wishlist” or in better words, a list of all the gifts and little presents i’d love to receive for that day and that maybe you can collaborate! i know it’s very stupid but i thought maybe you may consider it!

  1. an edit or just pictures of damon albarn wearing blue clothes as an “appreciation post”. 
  2. a collage or pictures of damon albarn leisure’s era (yep, the bowl haircut included)
  3. pictures (edits/collages/etc) of matt bellamy with blue hair.
  4. ^ the same but for brandon flowers day & age era.
  5. edits or whatever of nick allbrook.
  6. a john lennon appreciation post?
  7. even just a birthday greeting!

okay, i feel very pathetic asking for this, but pleeeease, please, may you consider this? *puppy eyes*, it would mean the WORLD for me! 

  • fanfic writer: *writing* Oh wow, they are going to love this. This is by far my best work!
  • fic: *witty lines* *perfect love making* *fluffy enough to kill us all* *a dash of angst, a smidgen of hurt/comfort*
  • fanfic writer: Oh man. This is it. This will be my legacy! *sweats into fic* *bleeds into fic* *cries into fic* *spends days perfecting the grammar and verbage and sex scenes* *has 15 betas look over it*
  • fanfic writer: Okay. It is finally time to release my baby on the world. Here you go fandom. You're welcome.
  • fandom: Ha, cute. *like* *kudos*
  • fanfic writer: :/
  • * * *
  • same fanfic writer: *writing* Whatever. This is shit, I don't even care right now. A singing squirrel? Sure, let's do it. Haha, cheesy lines that make no sense, sure. Grammatical errors out the wazoo? Why not. No one's going to read this piece of crap anyway, I literally wrote it on a scrap of 1 ply toilet paper with a broken yellow crayon.
  • fanfic writer: LOL *post*
  • fandom: OMG THIS IS THE BEST THING YOU HAVE EVER GRANTED US WITH, WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE, OMG, I NEED A SEQUEL IMMEDIATELY, PLEASE. WHAT THE. I'M NOT EVEN WORTHY. *kudosrebloglikereccomment*
  • fanfic writer: *sigh*
Personal Safety on Campus!

Because I know a lot of my followers will be leaving home and going to college soon I wanted you all to make sure that you pack something you might not of thought about, safety devices. Unfortunately we still live in a shitty world so we should protect ourselves. These are all methods I have used myself and unfortunately I have had to use all of them at some point. Hopefully you will never need to use any of these but I would rather you all be safe.

All these tips are gender neutral because anyone can be assaulted, friends. (Although we all know you’re more likely to be assaulted if you’re a woman or LGBT+ so please consider these)

There are several different ways to make yourself feels safer while walking home late at night. 

  1. I personally carry a knife with me at all times, make sure yours is legal in your state and you can carry it on campus because some campuses have restrictions on spring or size of the blade. Get familiar with it and how it feels. You don’t want the first time you use it to be the time you need it the most.
  2. Pepper spray, tasers, and alarm keychains. I’ve used this one and I recommend it if you don’t have a ton of experience with pepper spray or tasers. Pick what you’re comfortable with. The personal alarm is super easy to use and loud as fuck. Attach it to your keychain when you carry your keys.
  3. General tips
    1. No headphones when walking in low populated or dark areas alone
    2. Stay aware, walk with purpose.
    3. Lots of colleges offer FREE self defense classes, take one and bring your friends with you.
    4. If you’re on campus late at night ask someone from class to walk with you part of the way. No one will tell you “No” for this.
    5. Stay on guard even when you’re in your Uber home.
    6. Never go clubbing alone
  4. Safety apps. There are several. SafeTrek is a popular one!

These are just basic tips and you should further educate yourself on what you can do to stay safe. Just general reminders of things you should get before heading off to college. Stay safe, lovelies!

so i’ve been thinking a lot about tumblr’s “anti-recovery” mindset and come to the conclusion that a lot of it is actually anti-wellness.

some people can’t recover. for example, i have ADHD and autism and i’ll never recover because there’s nothing to recover from - it’s hard-wired in my brain from the day i was born.

but wellness isn’t about forcing yourself to be neurotypical. wellness is about being content and satisfied and trying to be your best self - and for a lot of us that is not neurotypical! 

speaking of my personal experience with ADHD and autism that i just mentioned, for me, wellness would be minimizing symptoms i dislike and that are harmful to me or other people (executive dysfunction, lack of focus, erratic behavior, etc.) while maximizing and appreciating the symptoms of my neurodivergence i love (ADHD makes me creative and colorful! autism makes me passionate about the things i love and strive to know everything about them!)

so really i think a big part of it is understanding the difference. if your neurodivergence is something you can recover from (i have many other diagnoses i believe are recoverable) and you want to recover that’s great! but you don’t need to be neurotypical to be well, to be satisfied and happy and your best self. 

neurodivergence isn’t bad. people aren’t bad for being neurodivergent. but we should encourage people to find good ways to be happy and satisfied and use their brains to help them, not hurt them

REAL TALK: since we’re talking about fandom and age

let me just get this out of the way, i do not condone or encourage underage followers on my blog. but ultimately i know i can’t enforce anything. however, since i know you’re here, i wrote this for you. i hope you read it.

so… to any of you are kids under 18- and you are kids- read this post carefully and take it to heart. know that i am writing this based on my own experiences as well as many, many others’


  • there is a lot of content that concerns kids under 16 having sex with full-grown adults. please don’t take this as normal, outside of fiction. people who write/draw these things are usually similarly underage people who don’t yet grasp how unhealthy these dynamics are in real life, or adults who fetishize the content because they realize how unhealthy it is in real life.


  • please realize you are not the same person you will be a few years down the road. don’t assume you know everything about yourself or about the world.


  • please don’t be in a rush to prove yourself as an adult. there is plenty of time for that. i know you’re getting underestimated at every corner, and that you probably aren’t even reading this because i referred to you as a kid. i know it’s infuriating. but it’s also very powerful to be underestimated. you are always in a position to prove people wrong by simply being true to yourself.


  • stay away from any adult who says you are “mature for your age” as an excuse for their behavior.


  • stay away from any adult who knows your age and still tries to initiate romance or sexual conversation with you. there is no exception. no matter how nice or sensitive or pushy they are.


  • no is a full sentence.


  • you are not more or less mature based on the fics you read, the roleplays you participate in, etc. 


  • fandom is where adults, both mentally healthy and unhealthy, cope/vent/fantasize through content. what you’re seeing fictional characters say/do is not an accurate portrayal of society. real life is not a porno or a beautifully broken emo paradise. people are rarely sociopaths, sex addicts or saints. fan work is heightened reality and it is usually self-indulgent. don’t base your views on the world based on what you see on a03/tumblr/whatever you kids are using.


  • anyone who is on tumblr for 10+ hours every day is using it as an outlet.


  • don’t expect adults to act like adults. a lot of them will disappoint you.


  • be the bigger person. take the moral high ground. it may not feel as fun, but it’s the better choice.


  • don’t assume anyone knows your age. mention it when you can. if it discourages contact, don’t take it personally.


  • realize there is shit you just don’t understand. not because you’re dumb, but because you don’t have the experience yet. these are two very different things.


  • don’t let anyone make you feel like shit just because you were born later than them.


  • on the other hand, if someone older than you wants you to understand something you don’t yet understand, listen. it doesn’t feel good to be out of the loop, i know, but in life lessons aren’t always easy to come by.


  • there are people in every youth-adjacent fandom who actively search for sensitive, precocious young people and exploit them. these people are nearly always charming, intelligent and good listeners. if an adult wants to get very close to someone who hasn’t even completed puberty, you should question why. take their every word with a grain of salt. no matter how smart you are, they have an agenda and can outfox you. abuse isn’t always a dark figure in the corner whispering murderous things in your ear. usually, abuse comes in the form of someone very close to you doing things you won’t even notice except in hindsight.


  • there are also adults who genuinely do care about you and can act as mentors or surrogate older siblings. if you insist on talking to people much older than you, know the difference.


  • don’t lie about your age in order to get adults to talk to you. this puts people in a potentially illegal situation and endangers you.


  • block anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable. you don’t owe yourself or anyone else an explanation. trust your intuition. 


(this post is okay to reblog!)

my college dorm packing list:

the school year’s winding down here, and I know a lot of you are about to start your first year of college. sometimes, this involves moving into a dorm, and there are so many dorm packing lists out there that tell you about so many “”necessities.”” this really easily gets overwhelming, so here’s the list of things that I have in my dorm right now that I really appreciate having!

bedding:

  • two sets of sheets - make sure they’re the right size for the bed (often dorm beds are twin xl). i got two sets which included a pillow case, fitted sheet, and regular sheet. sometimes, the ‘college’ sets have pockets on the sides of the fitted sheets which can be super useful, esp if you decide to loft your bed!
  • pillows - when I was buying dorm stuff, i had the designer dorm room in mind (which is the goal for a lot of people when shopping, but it’s not super easy to attain. just stick to what works for u!). this, for me, involved pillows. i have 2 normal pillows (either i sleep on both or i alternate them out so no one of them gets too flat), and a smaller, soft decor pillow (i use this mostly to block up the space between the bed and the wall so my other pillows don’t fall off when i use them as a backrest haha), and a fourth, white fluffy square pillow (this one just looked cute, but i ended up using it as a desk chair cushion bc my chair didn’t come with one, it’s been a lifesaver!!)
  • comforter (tbh it’s always so hot in my dorm room that i hardly use this, and mostly just stick to the sheets haha, but it’s definitely important in winter)
  • extra blankets - just a couple lighter ones i use when i just wanna curl up or when i don’t need something as heavy as a comforter
  • foam mattress pad - !!!!! cannot stress this one enough. it makes my bed so comfortable. my dorm bed is now nicer than my home bed. i 100% recommend getting one of these (and make sure its the thick sheet of foam, not those weird cloth ones that make you feel weird when you touch it haha)

desk:

  • desk chair cushion (mentioned above) - wait until you see your room for this one, your desk chair might already have a cushion. if it doesn’t, get something to use as one. your butt will thank you, and it’ll make it so much easier to study. (also some people i know wanted to get their own desk chair - the rolly cushy kind - so if that’s what you want, go for it!)
  • desk lamp! - if you’re like me, you’ll stay up hours later than your roommate, and you need to be able to see. the kind i got was actually given away free from my uni, but it has usb ports and 3 different levels of intensity for the light itself, so it’s really nice!
  • cups/pen holders - stay organized. i brought a mug for this and ended up getting a few free cups at giveaways, and vases from flowers and things like that that I use to hold the pens on my desk.
  • misc desk organizers - to keep your study space put together and to keep all your stuff in a decent place (it’s so easy to lose things, even in such a small space)

closet/clothes storage:

  • hangers - i just got a couple packages (about 24 total i think?) which ended up being the perfect amount for me
  • sweater organizer shelves thing - these are everywhere at stores for dorm shopping. it’s basically a stack of box shelves. they also have drawers you can get for them, but i don’t have any of those. i just stuff my sweaters/cardigans/sweatshirts/extra sheets in there, it’s nice and saves a lot of closet space!

shower/hygiene supplies:

  • towels - i got 4 towels, just so i don’t have to do laundry as often. it ended up being a good amount for me. also a lot of people i know have washcloths, which wasn’t something i thought about but is a good idea if you use them!
  • shower caddy - a necessity! i use one of the bag ones, instead of the plastic ones, and i’ve heard a lot of people with the hard plastic ones wishing they had the mesh bag type (but obvs u do u)
  • dry shampoo - super useful for when you didn’t get a chance to shower and want to at least try to look a bit more cleaned up
  • laundry detergent - pretty straightforward. also hamper/laundry bag/dryer sheets/whatever else you need to get ur clothes clean (also stock up on quarters if you have to pay per load)

misc:

  • hobby supplies - i do a lot of crocheting/brush lettering/reading, whatever your hobbies are, you’ll wanna do them, so keep stuff in your room for it
  • wall calendar/white board calendar - useful for planning and remembering important dates (also i use this to keep up w what my roomie has going on bc we don’t talk about that sorta thing a whole lot but it’s nice to know when she’ll be back/out of the room/whatever)
  • whiteboard - i have a bigger wall mounted one, but i use it for assignment/meeting reminders and also as a study tool for before exams. plus it’s fun to doodle on when i really don’t feel like doing anything  haha
  • string lights - sure, they’re a classic dorm cute thing, but they’re also useful when you want just enough light to see, but not enough to keep your roommate up or be distracting. i use mine all the time, plus it makes the room feel more warm and homey!
  • i also have a 10 foot long phone charger which is my heart and soul i love it sm it’s so useful bc i plug it in under my bed in the corner and not only reaches up to my bed, but also over to my desk. 10/10 would recommend.

Pinky.

I remember all the promises we’ve made together—all the good things you’ve said that I thought would last forever. We were like kids writing our futures without knowing how time could change us—how the world will try to always make us reminisce the past. How the people around us will try to mold us into something we didn’t want.

Ring.

It was the different type of love. I don’t know if fate is real or if destiny confuses us about what we feel. But I always imagine you with me, and my heart beating with yours in symphony. It was the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. The most wonderful feeling I couldn’t get tired of.

Middle.

There’s always something that goes in between. Pedestrians passing by— every time the traffic lights signal us to stop. When you were walking fast yet caught up behind someone who is walking slowly enough. When you already want to do the things you love, but you saw something that puts a doubt in your heart. When you thought you already found someone who you can’t enjoy living without.

Index.

I choose you over anything else, hoping that you’ll also end up picking me over everybody else. Yet I put a finger on your lips telling you to stop spreading all the sugar coated lies. I point to your chest, hoping for you to be honest. Darling I think I couldn’t take it anymore, if you continue to pretend that you still love me more.

Thumb.

Believe when I say that everything will be okay, even if it will take a lot of time for me to heal. In the end I will surely learn from all of this things. I will still carry the love I have somewhere inside me. Not for you, but for—each and every—broken part of me. This is how I should let go of you. One by one, I’ll remove my fingertips away from holding your hands. One by one I’ll let go of you so you can rest and breathe. Day by day, letting go will ease the pain.

And until my hands stop bleeding, my soul will suddenly appreciate the wonderful life I’m living. In the end my heart will learn how to love myself more—and will finally consider it as my home.

—  ma.c.a // I should stop holding on you

anonymous asked:

spideychelle prompsoal headcanons!

ahhh, hello! sorry it took me a while to write these ones. i fell asleep and also prom is such a funny thing. bUT. here are some headcanons :)

  • peter’s a bit worried about prom. not because it’s prom or because it’s supposed to be this huge high school thing that you remember for the rest of your lives.
  • that’s actually what he’s worried about
  • last time he went to a school dance? not the best experience. homecoming sophomore year was one of the worst days of his life. not only did he have to leave behind liz allan, the girl of his dreams who turned out to have a villain as a father, but he also had to fight said father and almost died while doing it.
  • he still wakes up some nights, screaming out as the building falling on top of him disappears. his screams turn to tears as he stares at the bottom of the top bunk bed and may comes in and holds him tight to her chest. it’s been over a year, but he still gets the nightmares.
  • so he’s not excited for junior prom. sue him.
  • ned’s been trying to convince him to go. the decathlon team is all planning on renting a party bus and heading over together. which, peter admits sounds fun. a part of him really wants to go. but he can’t shake this feeling that something will inevitably go wrong and his night will be ruined and the nightmares will never end.
  • and then mj asks him to prom. well, kind of.
  • it’s a boring wednesday during lunch, ned is still getting his food because he had to speak with mr. harrington after class. so it’s just peter and mj at the lunch table. (she sits across from them these days.)
  • “so, my parents have been asking me about who my date is for prom and i want them to stop, so can i just say it’s you?”
  • “what?”
  • mj groans, lifting her eyes from her book so she can roll them at peter. “my goodness, parker, for a genius you’re really dense. can you be my date to prom so my parents get off my back?”
  • and. he’s honestly stupefied. because: “wait, you’re actually going to prom?”
  • “yes, peter. i’m allowed to want to spend time with my friends, you know.”
  • “yeah, of course, i just-” he doesn’t actually know what he thought. she did go to homecoming for the last two years, so it makes sense she’d be going to junior prom. but then: “wait, is this how you’re asking me to junior prom?”
  • michelle’s cheeks tinge slightly more pink and she looks back at her book. “i told you, my parents-”
  • “i know what your parents want, but what do you want?” he doesn’t know why he asks that. mj is his friend. has been for the better part of a year. she joins he and ned on their snack breaks and movie nights and study dates. he doesn’t want her to be his date to prom. he’s not even planning on going to prom. but then
  • “i mean,” she coughs, keeping her eyes trained on her book. “i guess it would be fun to go with you.”
  • his face lights up and he smiles all bright and wide. “you want to go to prom with me!
  • “no, i don’t!”
  • “that’s literally what you just said!”
  • “shut up, parker. that’s not what i said.” and she slinks further into her seat and scrunches her eyebrows together and she’s putting her head even further into her book and she looks so adorable. and, oh. oh. he doesn’t expect the sudden quickening of his heart or the flush that rises to his cheeks. he doesn’t like mj that way. he doesn’t, he never, they’re just friends.
  • and then ned plops down into the seat next to him and peter can’t say anything further and michelle is leaving before he can answer her and he feels badly because she looks disappointed. but he doesn’t, he didn’t even think about the possibility that he could have feelings for her in that way until like five minutes ago when she asked him to prom.
  • so, when their last period of the day rolls around, he sits next to michelle and scratches out a small note, which he hands to her when their teacher starts talking about the mitochondrial dna.
  • i’d say yes if you asked me properly.
  • when she finally looks up at him, shocked, he smiles and whispers, “you have to at least buy me dinner first, mj.”
  • she shoves him lightly and then pays attention to their teacher drone on and on for the rest of the day. she seems to have a small smile on her face but she doesn’t say anything else on the matter.
  • peter wonders for a brief moment if he’s messed this up and she’s decides to just ask someone else. and he tells himself he shouldn’t be disappointed because he didn’t want to go to prom anyway. but that was before he knew mj wanted him to be her date.
  • but then at decathlon practice the next day, michelle is grilling him on russian history around wwi when suddenly she asks: “true or false. on may 8, 2019, michelle jones asked peter parker to the prom.”
  • and
  • is she for real?
  • he looks around at all his teammates, who all have their eyes trained on him. they seem to be excited, sitting on the edges of their seats. they also must surely see the blush on his cheeks.
  • “uh,” he manages to get out. “true.”
  • he hears her whisper, “oh god.” and then ned comes in (and wait, when did he leave?) and he’s carrying this big bouquet of red roses. but as ned gets closer, peter can see that there are a few white roses in the mix. and the white roses spell out the word “prom”.
  • ned hands the bouquet to michelle and she walks over to peter. she won’t meet his eye as she hands him to bouquet and opens her jacket to reveal a shirt with a “?” across the middle.
  • and, peter is shocked. it’s been one day. did she already have a shirt with a question mark on it? how did she get flowers so quickly? she told the whole decathlon team without him knowing? how did she arrange this?
  • and then, sensing his confusion, michelle sighs. “my dad is a florist. i’ve had this shirt for years. logistics aside, will you go to prom with me, you loser?”
  • peter stares at her for a few moments, dumbstruck. and then he nods his head, smile growing when he hears the decathlon team cheer. mj smiles. she smiles in a way that’s small and as if she can’t help it. like she’s tried keeping it off her face, but the joy is too powerful.
  • so peter stands up and he hugs her tightly. her arms slowly wrap around his torso and the team cheers even louder. he thinks he hears flash yell: “get a room, you dorks!” but peter doesn’t care because he’s pressed up against michelle and her hair smells nice and it feels good against his face.
  • “thanks for asking me properly.” he whispers, moving so his face is smushed even further into her hair.
  • “thanks for saying yes.” and at this peter pulls back, and michelle looks so…vulnerable. and peter wants her to know he’s not going to hurt her. that she is giving him a gift by letting her walls down with him and he won’t ruin that.
  • “for you, anything.” and michelle punches him in the shoulder and laughs, calling him a loser. but peter just smiles. because michelle jones has a crush on him and she got him flowers and he’s going to go to prom with her.
  • wait until he tells aunt may.
Comfort Prompts

“I’m here, I’m not gonna leave you.”

“Don’t say that you love me more than I love you. Trust me, you are the glorious sun to me, my everything and I love you with all my heart.”

“Repeat after me; I am worthy, I am worthy, I am worthy…and believe it, ‘cause you are.”

“Darling, perfect is just a word. Perfection is impossible and chasing after it will lead you nowhere. Just do your best and accept that the result is good.”

“When the most broken put themselves back together, they become the most beautiful angels. It’s okay if it’s sloppy or if a crack is still left open, you’re even more ethereal to me.”

“The longest and most difficult roads in life end in the best places. Be patient and keep going.”

“So what if the world is complex and overwhelming? So what if you can’t do it all, can’t be the best? Stop focusing on your image and focus on yourself. You have these years on this earth, enjoy them, don’t overthink it. “

“I’m love with your mind, soul and body.”

“The best thing you can do in life is to love yourself and let your passion help others to love themselves too.”

“I know you may feel alone right now but just remember how big the world is. How many souls will love you for who you are. They’re out there, don’t worry. Just get through, explore and you’ll find them. Just don’t forget to find yourself.”

“Can I kiss where it hurts?”

“Hey, it’s going to be fine. We’ll get through this together, hand in hand, okay?”

“It’s all about the little things. Your favorite tea, good stories, sparkly eyes, beautiful skies, the thrill of adventure, passion, the feeling of home. Enjoy them.”

“You’re not broken. Your mind is just built differently, get to know it, have a little chat with yourself. The most complicated minds tend to be the most beautiful ones, just don’t let it use you, learn to cooperate with it.”

“Hey, beautiful, you okay?”

“You’re amazing, did you know that?”

“I think I’m going blind from your beauty.”

“Everyone’s different. Everyone’s beautiful. You’re the most beautiful human I’ve met, and I’ve met myself!”

“Breathe, darling, breathe.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that triggered you, I’ll never do it again.”

“Here, I’m going to make you some tea and we’ll watch a movie, that sound good?”

“ Magic is real. It’s not spells and cauldrons, no… it’s more subtle. Like, when the air seems electrified, when eyes speak more than words, when you sense something none of your normal senses detect. If you stop for a moment and look beyond, you’ll find it.“

“I know you don’t want to, but in the end, it’ll pay off. Just breathe, keep your head up and you’ll be fine.”

A white guy’s thoughts on “Get Out” and racism

This weekend, I went to see a horror movie. It got stuck in my head, and now I can’t stop thinking about it—but not for any of the reasons you might think.

The movie was Jordan Peele’s new hit Get Out, which has gotten rave reviews from critics—an incredible 99% on Rotten Tomatoes—and has a lot of people talking about its themes.

First of all, I should tell you that I hate horror movies. As a general rule, I stay far, far away from them, but after everything I’d read, I felt like this was an important film for me to see. This trailer might give you some inkling as to why:

Creepy, huh? You might know writer/director Jordan Peele as part of the comedy duo Key & Peele, known for smartly tackling societal issues through sketch comedy. Get Out is a horror movie, but it’s also a film about race in America, and it’s impressively multilayered.

I left the theater feeling deeply disturbed but glad this movie was made. I can’t say any more without revealing spoilers, so if you haven’t seen the movie yet and you don’t want to have the plot spoiled for you, stop reading now and come back later.

Seriously, this is your last chance before I give away what happens.

Okay, you were warned. Here we go.

Our protagonist is Chris Washington, a young black man who has been dating Rose Armitage, a young white woman, for the last four months. She wants him to meet her family, but he’s hesitant. She acknowledges that her dad can be a little awkward on the subject of race, but assures Chris that he means well.

After unnerving encounters with a deer (echoes of The Invitation) and a racist cop, Chris and Rose arrive at the Armitages’ estate. On the surface, the Armitages are very friendly, but the conversation (brilliantly scripted by Peele) includes a lot of the little, everyday, get-under-your-skin moments of racism that people of color have to contend with: Rose’s dad going on about how he voted for Obama, for instance, and asking how long “this thang” has been going on. Chris laughs it off to be polite, though he clearly feels uncomfortable.

There’s a fantastic moment here, by the way, when Rose’s dad offhandedly mentions that they had to close off the basement because of “black mold.” In the midst of the racially charged atmosphere of the conversation, it’s nearly impossible not to take this as a racial remark, and Chris certainly notices, but what could he possibly say about it? Black mold is a real thing; his girlfriend would surely think he was crazy and oversensitive if he said it sounded racist. Chris never reacts to the remark, but that one tiny moment is a reminder to the audience of a real problem people of color often face, when racism can’t be called out without being accused of “playing the race card” or seeing things that aren’t there. (Incidentally, it turns out that the basement is actually used for molding of a different sort.)

There are other reasons for Chris to be unsettled: The only other black people on the estate are two servants, Georgina and Walter (Rose’s dad says he knows how bad it looks, but that it’s not what it seems), and something is clearly “off” about them. Later, more white people show up—and one more black character, and he, too, feels “off.”

By the end of the film, we learn the horrible secret: Rose’s family is kidnapping and luring black people to their estate, where they’re being hypnotized and psychologically trapped inside themselves—Rose’s mom calls it “the sunken place”—so that old or disabled white people’s consciousnesses can be transplanted into their bodies. The white people are then able to move about, controlling their new black bodies, with the black person’s consciousness along for the ride as a mere “passenger.” In a shocking twist, it turns out that even apparently-sweet Rose is in on the plot, and Chris must fight her and the rest of her family to escape.

This isn’t a “white people are evil” film, although it may sound that way at first, but it is a film about racism. I know many of my friends of color will connect with this movie in a way I can’t, so I won’t try to say what I think they’ll get out of it. I do want to say how I connected with it, though, because I think what Jordan Peele has done here is really important for white audiences. 

If you look beyond the surface horror-movie plot, this film actually gives white people a tiny peek at the reality of racism—not the epithet-shouting neo-Nazi kind of racism that white people normally imagine when we hear “racism,” but the “Oh it’s so nice to meet you; I voted for Obama” kind of racism, the subtle othering that expects people of color to smile and get along and adopt white culture as their own whenever they’re around white people.

So many of the moments in Get Out are clearly intended to work on multiple levels. When Chris confronts Georgina about something being wrong and she smiles and says, “No, no no no no no,” with tears streaming down her cheeks, the symbolism is blatant. How often do people of color have to ignore the subtle indignities they face and hide their true emotions in order to avoid coming across as, for example, “the angry black woman/man”? How many times do they find themselves in social situations—even with their closest white friends!—where people make little comments tying them to an “exotic,” supposedly monolithic culture, where they have to respond with a smile and a laugh instead of telling people how stupid and offensive they’re being? 

I can’t tell you the number of these stories I’ve heard from my friends, and I’m quite sure that the stories I’ve heard are only a tiny fraction of the stories that could be told. So there’s something in that moment that speaks volumes about the experiences of people of color in America.

The same is true for so many other moments. The black characters Chris meets at the Armitages’ have all symbolically given up their identities and conformed to white culture; when Chris meets one character, he turns out to be going under a new name, with new clothes and new mannerisms; when Chris offers him a fist bump, he tries to shake Chris’s fist. Again, within the story, there’s an explanation for all this, but every moment here is also about assimilation and culture differences. 

For me as a white audience member, all of these moments did something remarkable: They showed me my own culture—a culture I’m often blissfully unaware of because it’s all around me—as something alien. They reminded me that I, too, have a culture, and that expecting everyone else to assimilate to my culture is just as much an erasing of their identities as it would be to expect me to assimilate to someone else’s culture.

And that’s a big part of what Get Out is about—the erasing of identities, and the power of racism to destroy people. I think it’s really significant that racism is portrayed here very differently from how it’s normally portrayed in movies written by white people. In most Hollywood movies, you know a character is racist because they shout racial epithets or make blatant statements about a certain race’s inferiority. That allows white audiences to say, “I would never do/say that, so I’m not racist!” We really don’t want to think we are.

But notice something important about Get Out’s treatment of racism: This is a film about the literal enslavement of black people—racism doesn’t get more extreme than that—and yet Peele doesn’t go for the obvious by having the white characters admit that they think black people are inferior; instead, they subjugate and dehumanize people by claiming to admire things about them. They turn them into fashion accessories. 

When Chris asks why only black people are being targeted for this procedure, the response is telling: It’s not (supposedly) because the white characters think African Americans are bad, but rather, because they like certain things about them and they want “a change” for themselves. They want to become black—it’s trendy, we’re told!—but without having had any of the actual life experiences or history of African Americans. White people need to see this: to experience the ways in which Chris is othered by people who tell him all the things they like about him—isn’t he strong? Look at those muscles! Does he play golf like Tiger Woods? And he must be well-endowed and have such sexual prowess, right, Rose?

The white people in the audience need to be reminded that just because you’re saying positive things about someone doesn’t mean you’re not being racist, that turning someone into an exotic “other” may not be the same as shouting an epithet, but it’s still taking away someone’s identity and treating them as a commodity.

The film is filled with these kinds of moments. When we realize that Rose’s white grandmother has inhabited the body of Georgina, the fact that she keeps touching her own hair and admiring herself in the mirror takes on a whole new level of significance. (White people, please don’t ask to touch your black friends’ hair.) When Chris connects with a dying deer on the side of the road and later sees a deer head mounted on the wall at the Armitages’ estate, the symbolism is hard to miss. Black people are being turned into trophies in this house. And, oh yeah, they’re being literally auctioned off—as they were in real life in the not-too-distant past.

One day, I’d like to see the film again to pick up on all the ways things read differently the second time through. I noticed several things in retrospect that gain new significance once you know the ending, and I’m sure there’s a lot I didn’t notice. For example, Rose’s dad says he hired Walter and Georgina to care for his parents, and when his parents died, “I couldn’t bear to let them go.” The first time you see the film, it sounds like the “them” is Walter and Georgina. But in retrospect, it’s clear the “them” he couldn’t bear to let go was his parents, so he sacrificed Walter and Georgina for them. Which, again, is an example of how the supposed care of the white characters for the black characters (his care for Walter and Georgina, Rose’s care for Chris) is really all about caring for themselves and treating the black characters as completely interchangeable objects.

The message of the film isn’t simply that the black characters are “good” and the white characters are “bad.” There are presumably—hopefully—many good white people in the world of this film, and many others who wouldn’t do what the Armitages are doing but also probably wouldn’t believe Chris or make the effort to stop it. Peele’s mother and wife are both white, so he’s clearly not trying to paint all white people as villains. 

But I admit, as a white guy, I really, really wanted Rose to be good. I’ve been the white person in an interracial relationship introducing my black boyfriend to my family. I’ve been that. So I related to Rose, and I really wanted to believe that she was well-intentioned and just oblivious; even though she misses the mark on several occasions, there are times that she seems like she gets it and she really does listen to Chris. When a cop asks to see Chris’s ID early in the film even though he wasn’t driving, Rose stands up against the obvious racism, showing us all what it looks like for white people to do the right thing. “That was hot,” Chris says to her later, and I thought, yeah, that’s who I want to be.

So I have to admit, it was really upsetting to me to see Rose, the only good white character left in the film, turn out to be evil. But I realized that part of that is that I really wanted her to represent me, and that’s really the point. Just think how often horror films have only one black character who dies early on, and how many films of all genres have no significant black characters for audience members to look up to or identify with. I think it’s really important for white audiences to experience that.

As I’ve reflected on the film, it seems to me like there are three kinds of popular movies about people of color. There are those that feature POC characters that are essentially indistinguishable from the white characters—as if they just decided to cast Morgan Freeman instead of Tom Hanks without giving any thought to the character’s race. Then there are the movies that deal with racism, but in a way that allows white people to feel good about ourselves, because we’re not like the characters in the film. (This is especially true for movies about racism in the past; some of them are very important films, like Hidden Figures, which I loved, but we need to be aware that it’s still easy for white America to treat it as a feel-good film and think that we’re off the hook because we no longer have separate restrooms.) And finally, there are movies that focus more directly on the lives of people of color but tend to draw largely audiences of color; not many white people go see them, because we think they’re not “for us” (even though we assume films about white people are for everyone).

Get Out isn’t any of those. It’s drawing a broad audience but it’s not afraid to make white people uncomfortable. And if you can give me, a white guy, a chance to have even a momentary fraction of an experience of the real-life, modern-day, casual racism facing people of color in America, I think that’s a very good thing.

anonymous asked:

Hux has been in a loveless marriage with someone high up in the First Order since he was in his early 20s, it was purely political and arranged by his father. Hux meets his new co commander Kylo and eventually starts an affair with him

[Admiral NICOL, 03:07]: My Destroyer will be crossing paths with yours in two standard days. I’ll be coming on board to see you.

[General HUX, 03:08]: As you wish.

[Admiral NICOL, 03:08]: You will be ready for me.

[General HUX, 03:09]: Of course.

[Admiral NICOL, 03:11]: I expect your wedding band to have not left your finger since my last visit.

[General HUX, 03:12]: It has not.

[Admiral NICOL, 03:13]: Good. Have there been any major changes since my last visit?

“Who are you messaging?”

Hux is sitting back against the headboard of his grand bed, and looks up from his datapad and back down to where Kylo lies beside him, eyes blinking open slowly from his sleep.

“Nicol,” Hux answers with a sneer, reaching to brush Kylo’s hair from his eyes. “He’s coming to visit in a few days.”

Kylo groans. Underneath the covers, he slides his arm around Hux’s waist, leaning in closer to kiss Hux’s hip, pressing his open mouth against his pale skin and sucking gently.

“He can’t find out about us,” Hux says, eyes locked on the way Kylo’s lips look divine against his skin. “We’ll have to stay away from each other.”

“Can’t do that,” Kylo murmurs. “I have to be with you. You’re not his to command.”

It’s as though the golden ring around Hux’s finger tightens at Kylo’s taunting words. Hux looks down at it as Kylo shifts next to him, sitting up beside him.

“He’s my husband, Ren. I have to–”

Hux’s sentence melts away into Kylo’s mouth, consumed by his kiss, every one of his thoughts shifting away from his husband and to Kylo Ren; the one Hux wishes he was betrothed to.

“He’s not your husband, Hux,” Kylo says, shaking his head. “You see him once a year where he comes on board, has sex with you, threatens to contact your father about your lack of progress since his last visit, then leaves. A husband is supposed to kiss you good morning, bring you flowers, hug you when you’re down, hug you when you’re happy, fight anyone who brings harm to you, stay with you regardless of differences. So, forgive me for refusing to leave your side once that idiot is on board.”

Hux blinks, amazed and enamoured; feelings that have never once graced his heart in the years he’s been married to Admiral Nicol.

“Careful, Ren,” Hux says, reaching up to cup Kylo’s cheek. “You sound as though you’re plotting treason against my husband. ”

Kylo smiles, eyes locked with Hux’s, a sparkle in his dark eyes that Hux has never seen before. But he’s distracted suddenly by Kylo’s hand smoothing along his own, gliding up his fingers with the gentlest touch that Hux has ever felt. There’s a soft grip around his ring, pulling it away from him until it’s completely off and cast aside, tossed into the darkness that surrounds Hux’s bed.

Kylo says nothing, though neither does Hux. Instead, Hux picks up his data pad, finding his messaging application still open, Nicol’s question still unanswered. With a smirk on his lips, Hux begins typing.

[General HUX, 03:31]: Yes, sir. I’m afraid quite a lot has changed in your absence. But I’m sure we will discuss things upon your arrival to my ship. Let us hope that your journey is a safe one. Best wishes, dear husband, and long live the First Order.

‘’Why is she wearing my hoodie?’’

A/N: Here is just another fluff bomb for you all, hope you it! Please let me know what you think. Please note that english is not my first language so there might be grammar mistakes

Pairings: Bucky X Reader

Prompt: Bucky tries to figure out the reason behind his missing hoodie one day, relishing in the idea that might be a win-win situation for both of you.. but what might that lead to? 

Warnings: Fluff overload

Word count: 3745

Originally posted by snowfox934

It all started out innocently enough, on a monday evening after a return home from a particularly difficult mission. Your feet brushed against the cold kitchen tiles, a shiver trailing through your body as you made your way to the fridge for a late night snack. You grabbed a plate of brownies, showing the fridge close with your elbow before making your way to the television room.

You were surprised to find it empty, smiling to yourself as you relished in the idea of being able to pick a movie for once as you planted yourself on the couch. You placed the plate on the sofa table, bringing a brownie to your mouth as you browsed through the selection available on Netflix until you found something of your liking. Another shiver trailed down your spine, your body being tired and drained of energy from the mission and you reached over to the blanket at and brought it over your legs. Your eyes landed on a grey hoodie, figuring it was Steve’s you contently threw it over your shoulders and enjoyed the warmth and smell of the large garment that covered your figure.

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