you know i had to do this for my husband

My own crowd-facing scene with Marilyn occurred in a concert hall, or was it a theater? It was after the event, I recall clearly, that we were separated; and she was carried away (literally) by the surging body’s going for the aisles and exits. She called out to me ( I swear she was giggling ), ‘Meet me outside Claude!’ The crowd, knowing very well who she was, now turned in my direction: Claude ? Who is this guy ?
Indeed, who? I was a borrowed husband by agreement with my wife, doing escort service for a family friend. Fortunately, I wasn’t famous (poets have to die first),but it bewildered the crowd. I did then look a bit like Claude Rain (several inches taller, I insist). Marilyn had squirmed to a side door, I heard her urgent whisper to someone, 'Let me through, please. Get me a cab, would you ? Please ?’ She was out now, into the street, while I struggled to join her before she was whisked away by God knows who, agents of the evil empire, no doubt. While she was in no real danger, a crowd induced injury, a fall or trampling, was always possible. I was under orders from my wife to bring that sweet lady back safely. Luck was with us. Someone found a cab, Marilyn was pushed inside just as I emerged from the building. She hold the door open, I dived like a halfback; she hauled me up onto the seat, both of us winded. The driver maneuvered through the crowd - dear beneficent dangerous crowd - and finally got us to her apartment door on Sutton Place. Marilyn paid the cabbie and said to him, 'Take this gentleman to Brooklyn, to his door. He’s a poet and he might get lost.’ She turned to me. 'Great evening, Claude. We left them wondering who you are, isn’t that fun? Thank you. Love to Hedda and thank her too. I’ll call her tomorrow.’
She gave me
one of her quick lovely smiles as she backed out of the cab. 'I left the cab fare in your coat pocket. Good night and thanks again.’
The $20 bill was more than enough. When I offered to return the change later, she asked innocently, 'What change?’ - Norman Rosten

I just read this super sad post about this girl who’s asexual and married and everyone is basically telling her that she doesn’t deserve her husband/she’s just a prude/she should just do it anyway.
So I want to tell you all right now that if people tell you this, or if they tell you you’ll never have a relationship, it is BULLSHIT.
My husband is asexual and I’m not. He’s sex repulsed, we don’t have sex, we never have.
And it doesn’t matter to me. You know what does? He does. His mental health and wellbeing matter to me. Because he is my best friend and he’s one of the smartest, kindest, funniest people I’ve ever met. And he’s had people tel him that he’s broken and it makes me SO ANGRY because they are WRONG.
Being different doesnt mean you’re broken.
If you don’t like sex/don’t want it/etc. Do not let anyone tell you that you’re inferior because you’re not.
Do not let anyone convice you that you’ll never have a relationship because they’re wrong(if you want one).
You are not broken, and it will be okay.

went to a househunters-watching party over the weekend; here’s my impression of the show

VOICEOVER: She wants a historically accurate thirteenth century castle in the heart of bustling downtown L.A. He has his heart set on living in a small metallic orb that would float over a bottomless gorge, beyond space and time. Can this pair of newlyweds see eye to eye???

WIFE: The location is nice but I don’t know about these staircases…I just had my heart set on an escalator made of sand and artisan brie.

HUSBAND: Well it’s definitely not a small floating metallic orb.

REALTOR: That…would defy several laws of physics.

WIFE (squinting): Do you have anything that is simultaneously larger, cheaper, newer, and more historic?

REALTOR: Um.

WIFE: And I need a big kitchen. I love to cook!

(Cut to footage of the wife in her current kitchen, wearing an apron and surrounded by pots and pans. She is hitting a banana with a hammer. On the counter next to her is a pile of doll hair.)

HUSBAND: Yeah, get her a nice kitchen. Of course, I won’t be spending any time in there, ha ha! (His laugh is loud but his eyes are so empty. They are empty all the way back.)

WIFE: And I need a room for my shoes. That is simply non-negotiable.

HUSBAND: Also, if we can swing it with our budget, I’d love a finished basement where I can really unwind and stew in my toxic masculinity and repressed emotion. And hardwood floors.

WIFE: And hardwood floors.

HUSBAND AND WIFE IN EERIE UNISON: Hardwood. Floors. (somehow it sounds like way more than two voices, more like the collective whisper of an army)

REALTOR: Okay, I will certainly, um. See what I can do? Anyway, this next house, it’s a metallic orb hanging on a sturdy cord near a ravine—

WIFE: Well it’s definitely not a genuine thirteenth century castle—

HUSBAND AND WIFE: (stare at each other in open contempt)

REALTOR: Heyyy so why don’t we take a look inside?

Perfect for Each Other

Characters: Y/N Collins (Reader), Misha Collins, Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki

Pairing: Misha x Wife!Reader

Warnings: pranks, implied smut, language   

Wordcount: 1300ish

A/N: I don’t know why this only came to me now, since I have know this story for ages. Maybe because I have been having Misha feels lately and I kinda wanted to help him get back at J2 for all their pranks, so this is my way of doing that.

Thanks to my amazing friend Erin @blacktithe7 for betaing this idiocy for me.

NO HATE AGAINST VICKY - SHE SEEMS AWESOME - THIS IS FICTION. PRETEND SHE IS HAPPY WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

The rattling sound was driving you insane. Your own car was in the shop, so you had borrowed your husbands to take the kids to school. You had planned on going out to do some shopping as well, but since the car sounded like it was falling apart, you had decided against it. Apparently your car wasn’t the only one that had been in need of a trip to the garage.

So instead of going to shop for Christmas presents, you had driven back to set, and the rattling was just about to make you lose your mind when you realized what was going on. When you stepped on the breaks, just before pulling onto the set of Supernatural, a few coins rolled out from under your seat.

“What in the?” you mumbled picking them up and twirling them between your fingers as you pulled into the parking lot. “Jared and Jensen.” You mumbled to yourself, instinctively knowing who to blame for your torturous car ride around Vancouver. Still rather than going to go yell at the two overgrown children, you decided to seek out your husband who had neglected to tell you about this little conundrum. You weren’t mad at him for forgetting, more amused than anything. You loved your husband’s friends as much as he did, even if Jared sometimes needed a stern talking too. Say when he found it to be a good idea to leave a fish to rot under the seat of your car.

“Hey honey, why does our car sound like the kids’ piggy bank?” you asked innocently as you stepped into the trailer, and Misha instantly appeared from the bathroom.

Keep reading

Written for one.

Sweetheart,

No one prepares us for this in school. We study and pass tests and pass notes and pass for normal, but no one tells us what to do with the hurt. Some of us are just wired to feel it more acutely. So I was given the gift of drugs and alcohol. They were my angel and made everything quit hurting.

I wish I had exciting stories to curdle your blood and terrify you into sobriety. I wish I could spare you having to find it for yourself. But I can’t.

I only know that my world shut down so fully that it turned into Getting Loaded and Everything I Have to Deal With So I can Get Loaded.

I felt nothing. Nothing for my child. Nothing for my husband. My career. It was all just crap between me and being as high as I wanted to be. It didn’t work any more.

That is hell. The utter absence of anything other than something you know will kill you and you can’t even manage to care about dying. There was no light because I had closed my eyes.

You don’t have to. There is help and relief and joy. I found mine in the rooms of recovery. That’s all I can say. No intervention or shame or fear will make you go. You need to want it.

But if you do… it’s there and it works. You can find your light as long as there is breath in your body, no matter how many times you have tried. You are loved.

Prayer request

I know it always seems like I’m asking for these, but my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer yesterday.

We don’t know how bad it is yet, but we just lost one aunt to cancer a year ago, her sister had breast cancer at the same time, and that sister’s husband died of ALS earlier this year, so it just feels like blow after blow for our family.


So if you can spare a prayer, a kind thought, or a good vibe for my sister, I’d be so grateful. She’s one of my best friends, and I don’t know what I would do if I lost her.

8

get to know me meme: [10/10] male characters
harvey specter
- “
When I was a kid, my father put me in boxing camp. Middle of summer, 90 degrees. Every day after sparring in that, they’d make you do 100 laps and 50 pull-ups. They’d push you until you either threw up or passed out or both. Anyone could leave at any point. All you had to do was quit. I quit every goddamn day. I just never said it out loud. Because no way was I gonna give them the satisfaction of breaking me.“

Hello My OId Heart ✧ Part I

Summary: You’re not a fan of Rebels – ever since your father got himself killed working for them, you’ve had the Empire coming after you for secrets you don’t even know. You blame the Rebellion entirely for both events. But when you get stranded and locked up on a planet, with a broken down ship and a bounty hunter trying to sell you to the Empire, your only chance of escape is a certain Rebel Captain Andor – but hey, what other option do you have? 

Author’s note: YO! I’ve been working on this piece non-stop since I saw Rogue One on Sunday, and I’m so excited for this to become a series. Cassian basically became my husband, so expect much more for him. SHIFTER HASN’T BEEN ABANDONED!! don’t worry. they can co-exist. anywho, hope you guys enjoy it!
ALSO: this fic title is based off of the song Hello My Old Heart by The Oh Hellos. I seriously recommend listening while you read.

[ read it on AO3 as a Cassian / Original Female Character fic here! ]

Cassian Andor x Reader


“I don’t make deals, Rebel.” The gruff voice echoes down the passage, and you close your eyes, leaning your head against the wall. Jonrud Kevvar, feared bounty hunter and thief, doesn’t do negotiations – the ache in your ribs, your busted lip, and the bruising on your cheekbone reminds you of that every time you shifts. you feels bad for whoever this new prisoner is; he might have to learn that the hard way. “Look, I’m just trying to-” you wince as you hear him get knocked down, his body hitting the ground with a thud. “Take him to a cell. I’m done here. And alert the Empire!” Jonrud calls out, and your eyes snap open as you hear him being dragged towards you.

Keep reading

FWB Pt.3

I forget the name of the game we played but it involved cards and being “The President” and if your team won you could make the other team do whatever you tell them. Wives versus husbands. I’ll save you the details of how it all evolved but know we “lost” more than we “won”. I had been stripped to my panties when we lost again. I was then directed by my husband to suck our new friend’s cock. Understand up to this point it was more stripping and kissing. This directive was like an “Oh you went there” moment. Alcohol was flowing and this seriously helps my “Why not?” attitude. So I agree and the wife is simply beaming like this is her fantasy as well.
I felt like a teenager about to give her first blow job. I crawled over on hands and knees and put my hands on his hips. He was sitting on the couch and leaned over and gave me a big kiss right before he pulled his shorts down. I closed my eyes and laughed nervously. He took one of my hands and put it on his hard cock. It took a second but I opened my eyes and Wow! He was long and really thick. I almost felt like I was staring too long and just stroking. I was in awe. I brought the tip to my mouth but could not fit it in comfortably. It was like an ice cream scoop but I sure as hell couldn’t bite it. I felt like I fumbled around the head licked it like a Popsicle. At some point I relaxed a bit and just opened my mouth wide and took as much in as I could. I had both hands and my mouth working this monster! I was also wildly turned on. It seemed to grow even bigger in my hands, if that was even possible. Soon things started to flow easier, I was getting messy with my mouth which made everything slide easier. I was really in the moment. I don’t know how long I did this because I was a bit drunk too. I do know the game ended and we moved to the bedroom.

Washington by Your Side

* George Washington × Reader
* Hamiltime
* Requested by anonymous
* Request: I’ve never requested an GW fic. Maybe one where you’re visiting during the war and everyone else is tripping because the didn’t know he had a wife.

A/N: so I was happy with this at one point. Now I’m not so sure. But here it is anyway, my first George Washington imagine! I hope it’s acceptable. So enjoy!

Word Count: 2,553

~~

You placed your husband’s latest letter on your desk and scrambled to find a bag and pack some clothes. It was the winter months in the first year of the war. Fighting was at a standstill and George had written, asking you to visit his camp. He was the general so you assumed he could do this if he really wanted to. No one was going to tell him otherwise.

You packed rather light, a trait you’d picked up from being married to a military officer. You sent for George’s brother to come and oversee Mount Vernon until you returned. When he arrived, you set off. It took three days after stopping for the nights. You reached the encampment and got down from your horse.

“Can I help you Miss?” A young soldier asked as he approached you. He had curls bound back in a ponytail as well as freckles across his cheeks.

“I’m here to see George.” You said trying to walk around him.

Keep reading

Wet (Seunghyun)

Originally posted by paramountism

@chanyeolspout requested: So… I think your BigBang section needs some love. I say gimme some TOP smut 😏😏 😘


A/N: First BIGBANG smut and it just had to be my bias!!!! I’ll do my best and I hope you enjoy this! Hope this doesn’t suck.


Bath time gets a bit frisky when your husband’s home.


Group: BIGBANG

Pairing: T.O.P x Reader

Genre: Smut

Word Count:


Warning: Bath Sex, Making Out, Masturbation you know just the basics


Today, your husband is away from the house for a while to go run some errands. You realized that you finally had some time to yourself to do whatever you want before he comes back home. As soon as he leaves, you can finally start your day of relaxation, hopefully.

You had already drawn a bath for you to sit in. The tub was filled with bubbles as you dropped your robe to the floor. The scrunchie on your wrist is used to tie your hair up into a messy bun. Now you were ready to step in and finally relax.

Once you’re settled in, you close your eyes and try to clear your head of all the things that happened during the past few days. But then a thought suddenly pops into your head. You’re thinking about him again. The thoughts of his tall slender figure standing in front of you, possibly shirtless. It turns you on every time he hardly has any type of clothing on his body.

A hand starts to gently slide down your body. You take the other hand and start to play with your breasts while you travel further to your throbbing core. A little gasp escapes your lips as a fingertip slides over your clit. With your eyes closed and mind still on him, a finger goes into your slit and stays there until you’re ready for more. Now you decide to go in and out, already at a quick pace. The other hand leaves your chest and goes up to push loose strands of your hair back from your forehead.

As your finger start to speed up, you are starting to moan his name while leaning your head back onto the rim of the tub. You start to rock your hips to create more stimulation. You’re so loud that you’re not able to hear anything else but you moaning and groaning as you continue to pleasure yourself.

There’s a sound. It’s almost like a door unlocking. It’s your husband. It looks like he’s back early. Guess it didn’t take him that long to finish his business. He opens the door and locks it. He calls for you but you’re too busy with your business for you to hear him.

“Y/N. I’m back. Hello?” He calls for you again. He gets a little flustered and takes off his jacket. Once it’s off, he walks around the house to look for you. First, he goes into the kitchen but he doesn’t see you. Next, he goes upstairs into the bedroom to see if you were just taking a nap. But then he finally realizes that the only other place you could’ve been was the bathroom.

He takes a step towards the door, putting a hand on the doorknob, getting ready to open it. But then he hears you moaning uncontrollably from your sinful doings. He puts his ear on the door to hear you better. As you’re getting louder, he’s getting more turned on by the second.

“Seunghyun.” You moan, adding another finger to the mix. The sound is making him impatient. He finally decides to open the door and spy on you. Looking in, your head is leaning up against the edge of the tub, mouth wide open, lost in a sea of ecstasy.

Seunghyun walks in, sneaking up on you. When he comes to where you are, he kneels down and wait for you to notice his presence. You open your eyes and finally see him looking at you with a little grin on his face.

“Oh my gosh, Seunghyun! I thought you were going to be gone a little bit longer. I was just-” Already flustered and surprised, he cuts you off by shushing you with his finger.

“There’s no need to say anything else sweetie. So is this what you do while I’m gone?” He leans in closer to you, staring into your eyes. You’re sensing something in his eyes. Something that is telling you a totally different story.

“Yes. I do. Don’t judge me please.” You bat your eyes at him, waiting for a response.

“Why would I judge you? I think it’s kind of sexy.” You blush. Your eyes direct to the side. Then you think of a very good idea.

“You know, I’m getting kind of lonely in here. Care to join me?” You smile at him and stroke his cheek. You sit back and relax as he prepares to get in.

As he’s removing his clothes you, wiggle around in the tub as he’s moving on to taking off his shirt. Once he’s topless, he goes on to his pants. Slowly, he unbuckle the belt and lets them fall down to his ankles before stepping out of them and his underwear.

You start to get really ecstatic when he finally steps into the tub and sits with you. As he sits, you put your hands on his shoulders and rub them. You then start stroking his cheeks before leaning in for a kiss. You wrap your arms around his neck, rubbing the back of his head with two fingers. It makes him moan a little, making him slip a tongue inside your mouth. It makes you dive into the kiss even deeper.

To get things going a bit, Seunghyun turns you two around and now you’re on top of him. The water kind of splashes out of the tub but none of you really seemed to care about it.

“So. You want to ride me or what?” He grins, holding on to your hips. You smile and kiss his lips again before lifting yourself up with his help. He positions his cock at your entrance. You sink down on it, making the both of you groan at the contact.

“Now do you mind moving or what?” He says, making you playfully smack him on the chest. You smile as you start to rock your hips. The water is sloshing around you. He takes one of your breasts and puts one in his mouth. Sucking slightly on your nipple, little gasps start to come out of your mouth along with moans, making you even closer to the edge.

Seunghyun leans his head back, letting out sounds that you wouldn’t even picture coming out of him. With that deep, sexy voice of his, there’s no telling how fast you’ll have an orgasm now.

You can feel it. You’re almost there. Both of you can’t hold back any longer. You cum, letting out one last sound before trying to catch your breath. Soon after, he cums as well, also trying to catch his breath. Once the both of you are breathing normally again, you kiss one last time before getting out of the tub. You get out and dry yourselves off.

“Let me guess. When I’m gone tomorrow, you’re going to do the same thing like today aren’t you?” He asks.

“Well of course. And then tomorrow, we can do this all over again.”

do not imagine your otp joining a choir, singing a very long note, pretending to pass out on each other when the note is over, accidentally doing it at the same time and bumping their heads. don’t

anonymous asked:

Nissi, I don't know what to do. I am separated after I found out my husband had an affair with one of his coworkers. There's no way to fix things since he's happy living with her. I found my engagement ring last week and I feel I have to return it. What do you think I should do?

I would pawn the ring and take myself on vacation. Fuck him

Signs as brandon rogers things
  • (Im sorry)
  • Aries: you look like a gotdamn troll
  • Taurus: i got some freaky demons
  • Gemini: yeah.i do a lot of drugs
  • Cancer: jesus is my helmet
  • Leo: i cant shove this up my ass hole
  • Virgo: you wanna see jesus??
  • Libra: you tryna make me pass??
  • Scorpio: you autta get your shit pushed in
  • Saggitarius: i wanted to become a ballerina and you know what i became? Hiv positive.
  • Capricorn: three years ago my husband went out for a beer. But the beer was alllll the way in tenassee. And had much bigger tits.
  • Aquarius: congradulations you just triggered a vietnam flashback
  • Pisces: imma real grandpa
Ted called me today

Just as i was getting ready to leave work ted called and asked me to stop by the store on the way home.  I told him i could not that my husband was home already.  He said just for a few minutes and then he said those magically words “You know how much you love my cock in your mouth”  I just  melted in the car, i love sucking that big uncut cock.  I Called husband and told him i have a few more haircuts to do and would be a little late.  I stopped by the store and ted had a few customers, he told me the thing I ordered was in the back room he didnt get a chance to open it yet.  I went into the back and a few minutes  later ted cam in the back his hand went right for my ass and he pulled me close and gave me a big kiss, then he said  i know  you don’t have much time so get your mouth on my cock.  I dropped down to my knees and opened his pants and few sucks and he was hard as a rock.  As i sucked his cock he held my head and i took him all the way.  he started fucking my mouth all the time telling me how great my mouth feels on his  cock.  Then he held my head still and fills my mouth with a lot of cum and just held it in until i swallowed it all then i licked his cock clean.  I got up and told him i had to go, he kissed my neck i left.

All the way home i was thinking how good that cock felt in my mouth.  When i got home I walk in the house and I gave hubby a big with and all the time i was thinking ted just came in my mouth and now i’m kissing my husband  it made me kiss him even longer

Philkas when they’re like ~80:

Lukas: Come on. We’re going to be late!

Philip: I’m coming! These stairs are doing a number on my spine. Never mind my fucking knees.

Lukas: (Smiling down at the determination in his husband’s face) … Well, you’re the reason why I’ve had a constant stomach ache for about the last sixty-five years, and you don’t hear me complaining.

Philip: (Laughs as he shakes his head, picks up the pace, and, catching up to Lukas, tickles his sides as they share matching grins) Oh, you think that you’re the only one who’s had that stomach ache, hmm?

Lukas: (Knowing that he’s about to be kissed) Sa–

Philip: (Cranes his head back in his husband’s embrace) Lukas, I swear, if you say it, I will sic the grandkids on you for being so lame, and do not think that they won’t. (Forcing himself out of Lukas’s arms and pushing past him)

Lukas: (Unapologetic with his laughter) Hey, come back here, … you savage!

Philip: Lukas!

Sooooooo……. I have fallen seriously in love with @abz-j-harding Doctor Strange. Help me. I have even writing a little (LONG) fanfic to go with this drawing. It was not meant to be this long but well I don`t know what happened so enjoy…..


“How do you know it will come?”

Keep reading

2

“Hey Clark!” you called, leaning over the balcony with your phone in your hand as you caught sight of the man you were calling for. Though you were momentarily caught off guard as you watched him chopping wood, his bulging muscles straining against the tight fabric of his white shirt.

“What?” he asked, oblivious to your staring as he turned and looked up at you form the lawn.

“Why do people think today is our wedding anniversary?” you asked, holding up your phone as it went off again with another text of congratulations just like the ones you had been receiving all morning. “We aren’t even married, right?”

“I don’t know sweet, maybe they got someone else’ day mixed up with us?” he suggested as you looked down to glance over the message.

I wish my husband was as protective over me as Clark is with you. Such a lovely couple you make!“ you read, laughing slightly as you looked down at Clark. Clark smiled up at you, his cheeks slightly flushing as he set down the axe and made his way to the steps. “Somehow it seems that because you are such a possessive animal, everyone has come to the conclusion that I really am yours.”

“You already are mine, did you not get the memo?” Clark laughed as he jogged up the steps until he could grab your waist and pull you against him. You let out a giggle as you rested your hands on his broad shoulders.

“Nope, must have forgotten. Go shower and get changed before I annul the whole thing.”


Gif Credit: gif does not belong to this blog and we make no claim to it.