you know how it is with losing people

i cant think of a title, really

I always thought I understood my mom when she’d ask me to write my name on the things I own.

She used to tell me stories about people and how they have a bad habit of misplacing things. You know, from the unadorned objects to the momentous ones. From that littlest toy you had as a child to that photo of the night you had your first kiss. It’s an art mankind had come to master — taking things for granted.

It goes round and round and round, she’d say. The loop of time had tied itself for humans to succumb to the fluster of lost car keys and wedding rings; of missing calling cards and handwritten letters. Sometimes we think we’ll never lose a thing. And then in a whirlwind that thing goes missing. For a time we’ll get anxious. But then we’ll forget.

It goes farther and faster, she’d say. There are just too many things in the world brimmed with the intent to be lost that their loss no longer bears consequential sentiment. But then regret starts crawling in, I mean, how can you not weep over “what you have” all of a sudden turning into “what you had”?

It’s a painful thing, she believed. That once something is lost, it slips into the pit of the unknown. That no matter how hard we try, it’s never gonna come back to our minds’ access. You’ll never find a way to know, really. Someone else might have picked your favorite handkerchief that you dropped at the train station. Someone else might have been using the umbrella you forgot to put in your backpack the last time you went to the city’s crowded coffee shop. It becomes a turmoil of uncertainties — something you could have avoided if you were only a little more careful.

And so as a child, I spent quite a handful of time making printouts of mini name tags I stuck unto to my blue pencil sharpener, jumbo crayons, mongol pencils, and notebooks. I remember my mom being so happy when she’d see me intricately cutting these pieces of paper harboring the phrase “this property belongs to” and my full name. She’d even gladly join me in pasting them in my apparently simple possessions.

I always thought I understood her.
That I did get a sturdy hold of what she was trying to tell me.
But I didn’t.
Not really.

The truth is, she understood me so well that even when I was a child, she knew I’d end up losing so much. Mothers, I guess they have exceptionally accurate foresights. You see, it was a premonition of who and what I’d become. She knew I’d be part of the tales she used to narrate. She knew I’d lose things far more complicated and significant than the few ones I lost when I was a child.

I’ve mislaid so many things. Notes. Flash drives. Books. People, lovely ones. Those I have and could have loved. Days, badly spent. Places. Cities I thought to be plainly beautiful. Shooting stars. Even continents. I’ve lost them.

And I keep on losing things, everyday.

Time and again, I wish my mom could at least remind me to write my name on the things I still own.

The lost ones? Well, I could only hope for a little bit of kindness and some stranger to give them back. Even without a trace of me scribbled in them.

MY FINAL ANALYSIS

I can’t believe I’m saying this but this will be my final analysis before the finale so I hope this is good.

Let’s start from the beginning! Yuuri after he touched down during his quad flip.

Heartbroken is the only word for this. Before this he was looking over his routine of what he did wrong. He thinks that he just lost his way to get gold. His self esteem has plummeted.

Next is this:

Victor was watching Yurio’s Agape. Many people did not know why he was so serious, but I believe that he seemed this way because a 15 year old just defeated his world record in his senior debut. That’s something I’d be angry about as well, especially after he mocked him in episode 10.

Yurio has now beaten Victor’s record so how could he lose? Well I’ll tell you. Yurio as we know has a really bad attitude thinking that he is better then everyone else and no one can defeat him. I love Yurio to death but I can admit that he sometimes acts a bit like JJ. He has a ton of confidence that he will win, and that will be his worst enemy. His confidence will tell him, “Yurio, you’ve already beaten Victor’s record so nothing can stop you! You will win!” The issue is overconfidence tends to have you mess up. You think too highly and the next thing you know you’ve failed.

Next:

Yuuri in this scene doesn’t look very convinced. He seems to be saying it for the cameras, but on the inside he’s worried. Worried that he’ll let everyone down. 

Next is everyone’s least favorite scene:

This is the scene I really need to talk about. “let’s end this,” now I am only saying this but don’t worry I’ll get happier but, Yuuri has convinced himself that after this season he will have Victor leave. I have actually spoken on this previously, but Yuuri never talked it out with Victor. Now he’s bringing is plan to light.

Yuuri has convinced himself that Victor will leave him after this season when he retires. He will leave him in the dust and never see him again.

VICTOR IS HAVING NONE OF IT

Victor is shown to be extremely shocked. “What do you mean ‘let’s end this’ when I’ve already told you I’m not leaving?” Victor is not going to let him get away with this but Yuuri has already told himself it will.

These last two scenes are EXTREMELY important! He looks pissed. Yuuri has just told him let’s end all of what we have so you can go back to skating while I retire. There will DEFINITELY be an argument. And like I always say arguments are keys to healthy relationships. Victor will most like take him to a secluded place to fight this out.

Tears will be said and so will words. These two need to be on the same page. Victor is ahead of him saying that they’ll get married and be together while Yuuri is still behind thinking that Victor wants to leave. Victor will finally put some common sense into Yuuri once and for all. 

Maybe go along the lines of “I have been with you for this long, I will not let you go! You are my life! My love! I can’t lose you because then I’d be losing my entire life! I’ll lose myself so please, believe me when I say I want to marry you and be with you for the rest of my life!”

We will hear more about Victor, how much Yuuri means to him. We will see tears being shed. The two pictures will be before the fight. These two will FINALLY be on the same page.

I’m nervous and scared just like the rest of you but I believe wholeheartedly that Victor and Yuuri will come together and not break up. These two love one another way too much to just give that up. They love each other.

Next Wednesday will be the day that we finally get a happy conclusion. Kubo does not intend to let us down. She said herself that the episode will be chaotic and the next one will help clear everything else. The info she was speaking about was the thing that Yuuri was hiding.

Another thing is that Yurio did perfectly on his Agape performance. Which in YOI talk means that something won’t go right for his free skate. Yuuri has never messed up his Eros routine until now. Foreshadowing is key in this series. Kubo is foreshadowing a great routine for Yuuri. I feel it.

This was way longer than expected and I have full faith that these two cuties will be together and get married. Yuuri will DEFINETELY succeed his quad flip and win gold.

Until episode 12 my dudes :)

You know that Mister Rogers quote?

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

I’ve been getting a lot of asks from people who want to know how to keep from losing it in the current chaos and darkness of American politics. I can’t tell you that. It’s hard. No one’s on the best footing these days, emotionally or mentally. These are strange days and they may get stranger yet.

But Mister Rogers was right. Look for the helpers - there are a LOT of them, everywhere. I know as well as anyone that dire news overwhelms the heart and mind, but don’t lose hope. Everywhere people are coming together and standing up in ways we haven’t really seen for a generation or more. That’s a good thing. That’s a *wonderful* thing. That’s the light in the darkness. There are helpers everywhere. Just make sure you are one of them.

your union needs to have dues

there’s a debate on here right now that goes like this:

“we should strike on election day!”
“but it won’t do anything.”
“but historically strikes had power!”

yes. yes they did. but there’s a slight difference between then and now.

think about it. mill and factory workers in the industrial revolution worked longer hours for less pay and no benefits, and they needed those jobs to survive. why would they strike, when they had so much to lose?

they had a fucking strike fund.

why are people so afraid of striking? because if you’re in poverty, even taking a day off of work is a day without getting paid, and when you have a family to provide for, the thought of being without even those wages is terrifying. how do you alleviate that fear? you let them know that there’s a union-driven safety net. everyone contributes to the fund with their dues, and everyone draws from it according to their basic needs. sure, the funds won’t last forever, but if you plan well and keep it maintained, that gives you more bargaining power. it’s not the employers waiting to starve you out, it’s a game of chicken: your dwindling funds vs. their dwindling profits, who decides it’s not worth it first?

calling for a nationwide strike doesn’t do that because there is no safety net. you’re effectively only asking the people who can afford to take time off to strike, and ignoring everyone else. and if you really want your protests to have power, you can’t afford to ignore all those people.

What I learnt after losing 20kg in 3 months

1. It always starts on a high note but the key thing is to keep it going.

You see someone losing a lot of weight and suddenly you are so inspired and pumped to reach your ideal weight, or you realise that you have put on a significant amount of weight and decide to crash diet. It could even be for an upcoming important event. Usually this inspiration will last for a week or two, after which you start to give yourself a little more allowance, this is where most people fall back to where they were. It happened to me countless times.

You have to want it bad enough.

2. You have to be consistent.

Losing weight is hard af, but the important thing is to be consistent. This is what I did:

- take weekly progress photos (whenever I see how my body changes week by week I’m motivated to push on)

- weigh in weekly (I know how easy it is to be obsessed with the scale)

- follow inspiring people (this helps you more than you think)

- whenever I feel lazy to work out, which happens almost every single day, I tell myself this: ‘if you get out there and do what you have to for 30mins, you are one step closer to your goal. If not, the time will pass anyway even if you’re scrolling through Facebook.’

3. Workout

I started with swimming because it was the easiest. You don’t sweat as much, it’s easy on your knees, and it burns a shit load of calories.

After some time, I switched over from swimming to cycling HIIT on my stationary bike. After which I started doing blogilates’s PIIT28, and started hitting the gym after that.

What I’m trying to say is, change up your activities once in a while! Add some variation to your workout by keeping things interesting and you will look forward to it.

My best friend got me out of my comfort zone. I have been so unfit all my life that I wasn’t able to complete even a 2.4km jog. She dragged me along for a run and I fell in love with jogging. To be fair it happened about 6 weeks after I started working out.

It doesn’t get easier, you just get better!

You only need 30mins a day to complete your daily workout. Choose one workout, be it jogging or HIIT, and just do it!

No matter how tired I am, I make sure to get my 30mins in. Sometimes I impress myself with my determination.

4. Moral support

You’re committed to your goals and are working hard towards it. We all know it gets lonely sometimes. Motivate a friend to do the same! Motivate each other when things get tough or the scale is not budging. I’m lucky to have my BFF on this journey together with me.

Even for those who discourage you or those who once called you fat, you got to have the fire in you to make a change and prove them wrong!

Do it for yourself, your love ones. I know you can. I have fallen off the wagon many times too. But the lower you fall, the higher you will fly. Believe in yourself. I promise you, once you start believing, everything will fall in place. There will not be success without failure. You will get there sunshine. One day you will shine. You just got to start believing in yourself and start working damn hard towards your goal.

Old saying but pushes me a lot: 
it’s never going to be easy but it’s going to be SO worth it.

5. You didn’t gain it overnight, don’t expect to lose it in a month.

Don’t be demoralised just because people ain’t noticing the changes. Don’t beat yourself up.

I gave myself 6 months to reach my goal weight. 7kg more to go! Yay!

6: Your boobs/butt will shrink, there might be loose skins/ stretchmarks if you lose weight too fast.

What I did for boobs and butt:

Do planks and squats every day. Yes every day. It helps firms your boobs and squats give your flat booty a lift. 

I learnt this the hard way. Losing 50kg in a year 2 years ago definitely tested my skin’s elasticity. I researched ways to reduce the appearance of stretch marks since the only way you eliminate them is through a laser surgery.

Loose skins and stretchmarks are tricky. I tried everything so I can’t pinpoint what worked and what didn’t.  But it reduced the appearance of stretchmarks and my skin doesn’t look too loose either.

What I did:

- Drink lots of water (it really works!)

- Dry brushing

- Body scrubs (if you ask me I would say coffee scrub, I didn’t start selling it for no reason)

- Bio oil

- Clarins body tonic oil

- Weight training/resistance training                        

7. Relationship with food

Many asked me what meal plans do I follow or do I have certain calorie restrictions.

I have to clarify that I’m not going for a hot lean body hence this method might not work for you if you are going for that.

I do not follow any specific meal plans. I did many times in the past and tried countless meal plans including Herbal life, natroslim or even master cleanse diet. I’m not saying that all these doesn’t work, they do. You will see yourself losing weight, but it isn’t sustainable.

I eat whatever I want now but I control the portions strictly. I cut out sugar drinks too. Don’t underestimate the calories you are taking in as well, it could be the reason why you are not seeing results.

Learn to say no when being offered food (who does that?!). It’s not easy to say no to the piece of chocolate your best friend got for you, but it’s even harder burning it off later during your workout. If you didn’t plan to eat it, don’t. Save it for another day.

There are days when I have peanut butter toast in the morning, fish soup for lunch and economic rice without any rice (just the meat and vege side dishes) for dinner.

But there will also be days where I crave fried chicken. I order them without sides and go without sugar drinks.

Sometimes I live on ban mian (Singapore-style noodles with mince pork soup) without finishing the noodles. Or some days I have fruits before going to bed.

I try to keep my calorie intake within 1500. I don’t feel starved at all and I eat whatever I want in moderation. It keeps me content to keep going.

You are what you eat. If you know the food you are craving for is unhealthy, have it in small amounts. We all know what happens when we over indulge. A healthy journey consists of 80% diet and 20% exercise.

Food that will help you in your journey:

- Water, just drink enough water.

- Unsweetened green tea, yes you’ve heard this 2 million times. But it works.

- Fruits: Papayas, Watermelons, Apples, Bananas, Lemons and Kiwis.

- Needless to say lots of vegetables

Try new recipes like cauliflower rice. Or replace potato chips with kale chips.

There won’t be any food to avoid in my list because I genuinely believe in moderation.

8. Curbing cravings

You just had dinner but you are craving for dessert. We all know it’s not acceptable to do it every day.

I’d go for a jog if I were you. The cravings for unhealthy food usually subside after a run. You’ll burn 150 calories with 30 minutes of jogging, but it takes 1 serving of potato chips to gain it back. Is it worth it? You be the judge.

If not I’ll find an alternative like yogurt or fruits to curb the cravings.

The last method is to take off your clothes in front of the mirror and stare at your body. Tell me if you still want that tiramisu after that.

Many times we eat not because we need it but because we want it. A treat is only a treat if you have it once in a while. 

9. Shitty days

Just recently I broke down and cried just because I felt fat. I felt like the ugliest/biggest girl in the world and I just wanted to hide away from the world. There will be days where you feel like shit and nothing you do makes sense to you.

I allowed myself to cry and tell myself that I’m not good enough.

Sometimes we have to embrace our emotions instead of hiding them. Only when we acknowledge what we are feeling, will we be able to fix what’s really broken inside.

After my emotional battle, I pick myself up and continue whatever I was doing. I fixed what was going on inside and stayed focused. People around me saw results. I saw my results. I deserved every single bit of it because I worked hard for it.

Happiness is a choice. You are how you feel about yourself.

Don’t give up on something just because of the time or the difficulty to achieve it. The time will pass anyway. If you don’t work on yourself, who’s going to do it.

I learnt to love myself for every stretchmark, cellulite and scar that’s on me. At the same time, I do my best to be a better version of myself.

10. Take a break If you are tired, not quit.

Lastly, regardless how many times you fail, as long as you get up and try again, you will succeed in the end.

Getting healthy is not a quick fix, it’s a lifestyle. There will be days you feel like eating fast food and not working out. But as long as you get back on your feet the next day, I promise that everything will work out.

Never ever give up on yourself and your body, because you are the only one living in it.

Hope this helps!! Happy 2017! Keep on rocking! :) Let’s embrace 2017 together and achieve whatever you need to acheive!

@motiveweight - submission 

i’m done telling people how to treat me. i’m done waiting by the phone for a text that’s never going to come. i am worth so much more than this. i will never beg anyone to love me. i will never beg anybody to treat me the way i know i should be treated. if you cannot see just how much i have to offer, that is your loss. i will never fall on my knees or plead for someone to treat me right. you will lose me. you will lose me and you will know that it was your fault and i will already be gone. i will do myself a favor and never look back at you once i start walking away. i am worth so damn much, and i love myself too much to have to beg for love. i love myself and i deserve the world. if you cannot give that to me, i will give it to myself. i promise that you are the one who is suffering a loss, not me. i love people like it’s the only thing that i know how to do. i love people so strongly and so purely, most people will not experience that kind of love in their lifetimes. I did not lose anything except for someone who was too selfish to love me correctly. But you, you lost someone who had enough love for you, it could have filled you up eighteen times and still had some left over for later. You have suffered the greatest loss. I, however, will live knowing that I have so much to offer to the right person.

You know how post ep-3 people were like “Victor is evil!” and post ep-4 it was “Victor is dying!”? Post ep-5, can we just go all the way and do “Victor is communist!”?

I need to do something with all my socialist memes.

Communist Victor is all we really need.

a concept

it’s nearing the end of the gala exhibition and yuuri katsuki, first time gold medalist is the last to go. the music sets in. it’s a familiar tune and one that is recognized almost immediately. “I hear a voice crying in the distance / Perhaps you were abandoned too” the crowd is mesmerized. they may not know the translation of the verses being sung but yuuri does the translation himself, through his body, his dance, his expressions. his body is literally creating the music and the people can feel it, the loneliness and the desire for something more. listen, if his copy of victor’s routine went viral when he was out of shape and out of inspiration then this, this was something else.

and then these verses come along, “If I could see you / From hope will be born
/ Eternity”
 and suddenly there’s a different spotlight and the people are stirring. it’s victor nikiforov himself donning his old costume, a perfect contrast to yuuri’s. he steps into the ice and people go wild. to think, russia’s living legend. back on the ice.

“Stand by me / Do not go” as victor approaches yuuri, he’s literally reaching out to him, arm extended and wearing such a desperate expression. he wants to express this to yuuri, he wants everyone to know, he wants to reassure yuuri as many times as he needs to. “Dont leave me / I’m afraid of losing you”  

“Your hands, your legs / My hands, my legs / Our heartbeats / Blend together” yuuri accepts his hand, literally hand-to-hand as the music says and together they come close enough for their chest to touch. heartbeat to heartbeat. one. their foreheads touch in the process and they look at each other. no one can deny they’re in love, jesus christ look at them. dancing as one.

“We leave together / Now I’m ready” the skate ends similar to the orginial. except instead of victor embracing himself it’s yuuri he has his arms around.

You Are In Love - 270k, Chaptered

The one where there’s late night coffee runs with deep conversations, lots of frat parties with cute frat boys, TV show references, numerous social network interactions, first kisses in the rain and a slow burn love story between two unlikely people.

Soft Hands, Fast Feet, Can’t Lose - 112k, Chaptered

American Uni AU. Harry Styles is a frat boy football star from the wealthy Styles Family athletic dynasty. A celebrity among football fans, he knows how to play, he knows how to party, and he knows how to fuck (all of which is well known among his legion of admirers).

Louis Tomlinson is a student and an athlete, but his similarities to Harry end there. Intelligent, focused, independent, and completely uninterested in Harry’s charms, Louis is an anomaly in a world ruled by football.

A bet about the pair, who might be more similar than they originally thought, brings them together. Shakespeare, ballet, Disney, football, library chats, running, accidental spooning, Daredevil and Domino’s Pizza all blend into one big friendship Frappucino, but who will win in the end?

Run Away Home - 106k, Chaptered

Louis stands, in the middle of a clearing with his hands in his pockets, and stares. This boy—God, this gorgeous, gorgeous boy. He seems so clumsy, confused at the best of times, but there’s a wisdom about him as he speaks, a maturity that belies his age.

Louis is hopelessly, wildly attracted to him.

or, louis is a successful jockey down on his luck, struggling to get his life back on track after an injury. harry has a horse, a house fit for a prince, and a broken heart.

it takes them a while to figure out that they need each other.

To The Ends Of The Earth - 55k, One Shot

During a yearlong hiatus, Louis visits Harry at his cabin in Idaho, where long-buried feelings ignite like the fire keeping them warm.

Never Gonna Dance Again - 55k, One Shot

Harry is quiet for a moment and his fingers feel like they’re burning past the fabric of Louis’ jumper, branding his skin. “Can I kiss you?“

This is where Louis should walk away and leave Harry to pirouette and cambré by himself in the faint moonlight shining through the windows. He is a spy and Harry is a dancer. There are lines that should not be crossed.

Louis surges forward.

Louis is a spy and Harry is a dancer. The only real thing they know is each other.

Oh Glory - 21k, One Shot

Tomlinson looks Liam over, tilting his head. “Are you a swimmer as well?”

“Yeah,” Liam says, a little cautiously. Harry wonders if it’s Tomlinson’s fame or the unimpressed eyebrow that’s making Liam wary. “Distance, I’m doing the 1500m. Harry here’s a sprinter.”

“Ah,” says Tomlinson, turning his glinting eyes back to Harry. “So you’re not an endurance man.” A beat passes, and his grin grows, wide and filthy. "Shame.”

Harry Styles is Team Great Britain’s newest swimmer, and has spent his whole life training for this moment, a chance at the gold medal in the Rio 2016 Olympics. All his training, hard work, and dedication to no distractions is tested when he’s assigned to the same Rio apartment as Louis Tomlinson, British gymnast and Harry’s childhood crush.

Naked & Proud - 18k, One Shot

The town itself is tiny, as evidenced by the ten minutes it’s taken Louis to drive the entire thing. There’s not a single recognisable brand in sight—no Tesco or McDonald’s or even a bloody Starbucks. Lining the streets instead are mom and pop stores with names like ‘Jerry’s Burgers’ and ‘The Market Basket’ and…

“'Naked & Proud?‘” Louis almost slams on the brakes at the outlandish sign, the name written in a seemingly innocent font, words curved around a large cartoon peach. He can’t help turning into the carpark, easing the car into a spot next to a beat up truck.

He isn’t sure what to make of it. Surely it isn’t a strip joint or sex shop, not with the families and little old ladies going in and out of the establishment. Some kind of nudist hangout, perhaps?

And, oh, God. Did Louis’ mother accidentally send him to live in a nudist colony?

In which Harry runs an organic store, not a nudist colony, and Louis doesn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

I don’t get why people want Sam and Dean to have a healthier relationship. If I wanted to watch a show about healthy family relationships I’d go watch the Waltons or something. Let me see the Winchesters so tangled up in each other that they don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong. I want them off kilter and unpredictable. I want to see them dangerous and scarred and on the run, not sitting at home making friends and having fucking brunch, you know?

I just feel that making the Winchesters more “healthy” or well adjusted would be such a fuck up. They’ve lived a life full of trauma, they went to hell, they’ve seen everyone they love die. You want to diminish all that? After the life they’ve been through, there’d be nothing more uncharacteristic than to be be well adjusted.

i need snk season two. i’ve been reblogging variations of the same 10 anime scenes for almost two years now and it is driving me insane. i get it. the world is cruel and also very beautiful. eren and armin want to see the ocean and the outside world. i get it. levi’s squad died and it was sad. i get it. we are so thoroughly out of material it it driving me up a wall. possibly up many walls. maybe even wall maria.

*battles anxiety with the thought of victor really liking yuuri’s growing confidence

like, a lot more than he thought he would

and yuuri was already so touchable that victor couldn’t seem to keep his hands off, but now it’s victor trying and spectacularly failing to stay cool during the little moments yuuri’s femme fatale surfaces

the little things you know, the smirks when yuuri’s feeling good or the facades of confidence when speaking to important people or the zen surety he reaches on the ice when he doesn’t know victor’s watching

and just

give me victor just about panting over him, half-baffled because he’s acting like a teenager with a first crush, terrified at how big and important it all feels, how yuuri’s smile makes him feel, tying himself in knots and finding himself vying for yuuri’s attention and not fully realizing it until someone points it out to him

the thought of victor losing his damn mind over a content, confident yuuri gives me life, clears my skin, waters my cro p s*

How long is too long? How much is too much? When do you lose hope? When you give up? When do you know it’s time to leave things or people behind?

There’s never an easy way to just walk away from the thing or person you want the most, especially if you want to stay, yet you know it in your bones it’s the right thing to do - not just for them, but for yourself.

We are taught to be kind to others, but we have never learned how to be kind to ourselves. Walking away from toxicity is the nicest thing you can do for yourself.

3

Hey Guys Soph Here!! It’s December and Christamas are almost here !!yay!! Hope everyone is fine!! Recently I hit my TOP goal..my tumblr goal xD, a goal that i never expected to hit in 1 year after i made this blog(actually I never thought I would hit it ) and all thanks to you!! Thank you so damn much for following me!! It means a lot to me,seriously, you have no idea how happy I am to see people supporting me in this blog!! I don’t know what to say… I… Thank you so much!! Do I deserve this?? Of course not! I don’t deserve this!! thank you so much again!!! This is a follow forever dedicated not only to the mention blogs but to everyone because all of you deserve to be a part of this FF…I wish I could type down all of your names but I have no time and I will lose my mind if I try to do it xD Anyway,i am not going to say anything more just a big thank you!! seriousy you have no idea how much this means to me!Sorry If i forgot anyone*whispers*it’s so difficult to type many names in a post…

~Also I want to say a special thank you to the girls in my group chat on skype [ded squad]..Girls.. I wish I could hug all of you!! Thank you so much for letting me be your friend!!Thank you so much for supporting me these days and for being there for me ,every single day!!I will never forget you!! I will be there for you as long as I can! I promise *hugs you*~

Bold: Amazing people and very very talented people a.k.a my inspiration(you should defenatly check them ;)

*:my family || thank you for letting me be your friend, it means a lot!

A - D

@a-sakuras || @ackerman-tea || @aizawah || @aizawashoutta* || @akahshi || @akhermans || @akiteru**|| @akutagawa-r || @akutagawaas || @akutagawah **|| @akutagawaryuunosuke || @alien-iwaoi || @angelsbebitches || @animjap || @annalovesfiction || @aobajouusai || @arashi-hime || @asexualkenma || @ask-your-captain-levi || @astralseed || @atsushiiis || @attackonshawn || @aurieackerman**|| @ayumiko || @ballaena || @bertholdts || @bev-nap || @bohkutos || @calmflipper || @cherubi || @chizurou || @chuuyah || @d-a-z-a-i|| @dazaiosamu || @dazushi || @dazzai || @dingusshepard || @dithe-r || @dqzai || @dragonroll01

E - J 

@envy-and-pride **|| @eren-of-jaegers || @erensjaegerbombs || @erenfrickinjaeger || @ereri-obsession || @ereritrashbag || @erwinsmith || @evngelion || @fencer-x || @fivenightsatereris* || @flamefly || @floppyamon || @fudayk || @fuku-shuu || @gay-swimmers || @genosus || @genoza || @geracchi || @goshikiis || @greymetalheart || @gurens || @hanae-ichihara || @hanji-sh || @haruuka || @heichou-in-da-house || @heirxx || @hiiitoka || @hiinamii || @hina-shoo || @hiragis || @hiragisshinya || @hitouka || @hottie-levi* || @hyakuraii || @i-am-just-ereri-trash || @ichimatsus || @isanimebr || @iwaizyumi || @josenji || @juminss || @justsnkedits 

K - M

@kaeveeoh || @kagekii || @kahgeyamas || @kamiiyamas || @kanekin || @kaoris || @katsukiisyuurii || @katsuraz || @katsvra || @kawogays || @kazune || @keitsukishima || @kenkamishiro || @kenmawifi || @kenny-ackerman || @killulous-killua || @king-oikawa-trash || @kioya || @kiribunny || @kirschtein || @kirschtien || @kiyula || @kkarasunos || @kkenma || @koganess** || @kojiiro || @komaedas** || @kovuku || @kuchen-ackerman || @kugurii || @kunekida || @kuroko-cchiii || @kurooa** || @kusoikavva || @l-e-v-i-ackerman || @laetia || @lahviis || @lametooru || @levi-addicted || @levi-exorcist || @levi-heichou-teatime || @levitrash || @leviyaeger || @littlebratciel || @lndras || @mahirochi || @mamurasm || @manganimae || @middleblocker || @migayela-hyakuya || @mikaisabottom || @mikadesu || @mikotoray || @miss-cigarettes || @mizukihs || @myuura 

N - R

@nakaharaas || @nakamatoo || @namanari || @nanzse || @naruzumake || @nerdsavvy || @nezushion || @nichinoya** || @nickiforov || @nikifohov || @nikiforovic || @nikiforv*** || @nikiphorov || @no-signs-no-lights || @ntasume || @odaasaku || @ohmikasaa || @ohreigen || @oikawam || @oikawastooru || @oikawathoru || @oohiras** || @ootsukis || @oyatetsurou || @peachyerwin || @pliestsky || @plisetski || @plisetsking || @plisetskis** || @plisetsukih** || @plsetsky || @plummisaki || @preciousghouls || @priincessyona || @princess-yonas || @pureren* || @raerim || @ravenliz || @rinsuokah || @rivialle-heichou || @roredwarrior3 || @ryokho 

S - Z

 @s-brodirk || @sakamotoz || @sakurabuns || @sakusa-chan || @sarady || @sasaki-haisex || @sawtsuki || @sayuuhiro || @seek-victory || @senj0ugahara || @sexzumi || @shgieo || @shinnyah || @shinyeahs || @shotous || @shou-chi || @shouyeo || @shyvs || @siamesepolyporegoat || @sinbuns || @skeptic-manila || @somasyukihira** || @spacekaneki || @spaxe || @ssugawaras || @sukerokus || @suzuyaas || @suzuyajuzoo || @t-s-u-k-i-s-h-i-m-a-s || @tachibana–chan || @takasukis || @tartatail || @tatsugamihimekas || @tervshimas || @throwafridge || @tobiohchan || @tobioskageyama || @tohbios || @toovru || @tovsei** || @tsukis**|| @tsukkis || @tsukishisma || @tsurumaaru || @tsuyuake || @ukiinas || @ukiyous || @urushenna || @uzurume || @victornikiiforov || @viktvr-nikiforov || @vikutoru || @vkuzno || @vodkaneki || @wakata || @xatsushis || @xoxomyseriesxoxo* || @y-uuriis || @yamacuchi || @yamazekis || @yuratchkas || @yushiyuki || @yuuris || @yuuyaas || @zakuras || @zkenma

+see more blogs here in my blogroll ;)

Note to Self for 2017:

•No more toxic people. Cut people off who do not help you grow into the person you are destined to be.

• No more allowing people to waste your time. You know what you deserve, do not accept less than that.

• No more relationships with controlling or emotionally/physically abusive people. You’ve had enough of that. You deserve someone who will treat you like a queen. Do not make excuses for anyone else. The moment they show you they are controlling or abusive in any way, L E A V E.

•Love yourself. Unconditionally. No matter how much weight you gain or lose, you are still beautiful. Your size does not define your beauty. Remember that.

Heartbreak Means...

Aries: Having to desperately do so much but being given so little time 

Taurus: Falling apart every time you go to bed, but needing to have the strength every morning to put yourself back together 

Gemini: Passing by a stranger who used to mean so much more 

Cancer: Losing your mind over someone who doesn’t even mind you at all

Leo: That sharp, abrupt feeling of suffocating emptiness that could hit you at anytime 

Virgo: Making a promise with someone you know is going to break it anyway 

Libra: Feeling the need to lie about yourself so you might gain other peoples’ approval

Scorpio: Not being able to share your secrets with someone else 

Sagittarius: Loving someone who you know is only holding you back 

Capricorn: Looking at the past and wondering how the hell you got to where you are now 

Aquarius: Drowning out the sound of your weeping with loud music at 3 in the morning

Pisces: Falling in love only to fall hard on the ground

Schizophrenia isn’t just hearing voices in your head

It’s the unbearable impulse to run your car off the road and you only manage to resist because you’re with people

It’s the constant feeling of being watched, of never being truly alone

It’s laughing or crying even though you really shouldn’t be doing that and you can’t stop yourself

It’s suddenly being completely unable to move no matter how hard you try

It’s trusting no one, not even your closest friends and family

It’s losing the motivation to uphold basic personal hygiene even though you know you should

It’s an inability to make eye contact so you get really good at faking it

It’s not making facial expressions

It’s seeing figures looming in your peripheral vision

It’s a crushing fear of Them™, even though you don’t know who They are

Schizophrenia isn’t just hearing voices

30 day challenge.

30 day thinspo challenge

Day 1: Your stats

Day 2: How tall are you, do you like your height?

Day 3: A picture of your thinspiration. What features do you like about this person?

Day 4: Your Greatest fears about weight loss

Day 5: Why do you really want to lose weight? Are you doing it for you?

Day 6: Do you binge? If so, explain why you think you do.

Day 7: Do your parents know you are trying to lose weight? Do they care?

Day 8: Your workout routine.

Day 9: Did people ever make comments about your weight in a negative way?

Day 10: What was the hardest thing you gave up during this weight loss?

Day 11: Your favourite thinspo blog and why.

Day 12: What do you normally eat?

Day 
13: Are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?

Day 
14: What’s your UGW? When do you expect to reach it?

Day 
15: Are you vegan or vegetarian? If so, has this helped you lose weight? If not, would you ever consider turning vegan or vegetarian?

Day 
16: When did you first decide to lose weight?

Day 
17: Do you have an eating disorder?

Day 18: What food is your weakness?

Day 19: When is the last time you ate fast food?

Day 20: Favourite diet?

Day 
21: What are your clothing sizes?

Day 22: What was your lowest weight? How and why did you gain?

Day 23: Did the media play a role in your wanting to lose weight?

Day 24: How do you feel about the terms pro-ana/pro-mia.

Day 
25: Have you ever purged? If you have, describe your first experience.

Day 
26: What excites you most about reaching your UGW?

Day 
27: How do you deal with being around food?

Day 28: Do you want that gap between your legs? Why?

Day 
29: Your definition of beauty.

Day 30: 10 facts about you! And now, what are your stats?

From the Wreckage

summary: You and Bucky have been dating for a couple of years now. Lately, he has become extremely distant. You worry that the end of your relationship is in sight. - requested by anon. (want to make a request?)

words: 2,912

contains: angst? but it turns fluffy!  


MASTER LIST


Originally posted by rohgers

I was losing him, and I didn’t know why, or how to stop it.

 I met Bucky about six months after he was accused of the bombings in Vienna. He had been all over the news – people debating whether or not the Winter Soldier was a criminal. People demanded he and Captain America be charged with treason, terrorism, basically anything they could think of that had even the slimmest chance of sticking. It was a debate that took over news channels for months and months. People wanted so-called justice, but no one could find Captain Rogers or his team.

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