you just sound dumb

Kaneki’s mindset

Originally, I was super skeptical about Ishida making Kaneki’s mother an abuser… because why does he want to make Kaneki suffer even more?

However, it psychologically makes sense - 

In a lot of Kaneki/Haise’s mindscapes/hallucinations/delusions he usually imagines himself as a child. Sometimes he imagines himself closer to the age he is now, but often those hallucinations have a tendency to be violent, cruel, and frankly, pretty creepy.

(:re 7, pretty creepy am I right?)

I always wondered why Ishida chose to include children in Sasaneki’s hallucinations… was it for emotional influence? Or as a side effect of what happen back at Aogiri - where he was forced to pick between a mother and a child living? (Which somehow also ties back in…)

In all regards, Kaneki has the mind of someone who’s been very emotionally and physically abused throughout his life. In fact, he probably has natural association of adulthood with cruelty – and he has a nasty tendency of placing himself or Rize in place of his mother.

It’s a fact that parents shape their kid’s life. His mother has taught him several things: to be the one getting hurt; to fear that people he deeply cares about to neglect and abuse him; to desire love, and perhaps fear it too. These are all common traits of abused children. But these traits have shaped how he views the world.

Likely, as a child, he got the impression that adults were bad, or the such.. As he grew up, the feeling likely wavered, but after the events of Tokyo Ghoul, it’s likely that his trauma slowly, subconsciously came back to him.

It’s why he casts hallucinations of his half-Ghoul self in the role of his antagonist, and his child self as his sympathizer. He still has the mind of the child, or at least his subconscious idea of what that is. He clearly wants to imagine his older self as an antithesis to him, something cold and foreign. Or like his mother as a mentioned above.

Anyway, the situation with mother and child back during the Aogiri torture just makes this altogether more genius on Ishida’s part – because mother’s love their children and what them to live right? But don’t children have to be hurt so their mothers aren’t getting hurt? Not to mention the regular moral dilemma going on here anyway – the layers behind the manga just keep getting more and more complex. There’s a meaning behind everything.

Sometimes I can’t believe how clever Ishida is.

When I was a kid I noticed that pretty much every person has the exact voice you expect them to have, if not, then they have a pretty similar one.

So when I was about to hit puberty I tried to act as tough as possible (quite hard because most people in my class made fun of me and I was the class autistic nerd kid with an abnormal lack of social interactions) so I could get a cool deep voice.

It either didn’t work or that attitude of myself was extremely childinsh because at this day I still sound like a fucking 10 years old.

anonymous asked:

dude. "where are my damaged Gryffindors" just made me cry. like... thank you. it sounds dumb but it takes a lot to go through something bad and not get selfish, and wish you were colder and more heartless but you don't know how to be, and having that put into words, it just really... yeah. there are so many lines that are going to stick with me. I'm not a follower of yours bc I don't read destiel but I just wanted to say that I loved the poem

dude!!!!! high five me right now. we’re both criers, hahahaha <3

I know what you mean. I think a lot about selfishness and selflessness, and the right balance between them - I’ve written fics about it, haha - and I haven’t quite got to the bottom of it yet. not only in the context of Gryffindor-ness and honour, just for myself without that added element, even. but it’s definitely true in my experience that selflessness can be hard to maintain in the face of emotions like intense anger and sadness, when originally it was easy and natural. breaking in that place makes you second-guess yourself a lot, I think.

and I 100% get the thing where you just wish you could turn your heart off. heck. it hurts really badly to feel things sometimes and it’s really tempting to try to shut it all down and just feel nothing, but like, how would you even go about that?! I have no clue. and I don’t think it’d be worth it, in the end? even though it super freakin feels it sometimes.

thank you for dropping by, sunbeam!!!! I hope you have a great day!! <3

Patterns shirt boyfriends for reasons.
Quick draw because there’s not enough Ziall in the ‘ziall tag’ recently. : C
No song lyrics or story quotes today, but I do wanna say, that all you Ziall fans are lovely.  I may not be um..social with everyone, but I do love seeing you all active and creating for these two adorable boys. : ]

anonymous asked:

Well, you're not funny. You just sound dumb

it could be worse, at least im not getting pissy over some kid on tumblr that dislikes boruto lmao

The people in the Yandere Simulator fandom that are calling YandereDev a bad person and are posting 10k word rants about how disgusting the new elimination method is are getting on my nerves.

Especially the ones that say “why not a rat instead or a pidgeon?”. As if their lives were less valuable than a kittie.

Seriously, guys is just a fucking game. You all sound dumb as dicks complaining about that in a game about a girl that KILLS HUMAN BEINGS, TAKES NOT CONSENTED PANTY SHOTS FOR PROFIT, KIDNAPS PEOPLE, AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY TRAUMATIZES HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS.

I hope YandereDev doesn’t removes this option, because this is what this game is about. A girl with no distinction about good and bad, and she only does what she needs to so her Senpai can be with her.

Signs based off straight guys I know/I'm friends with

🔸Aries: confident, fun to hang out with, girls either hate him or love him, great culture, can hold very intelligent conversations with anyone although makes himself sound dumb sometimes and idk why, will challenge you just for fun, stubborn, a tease, will flirt with all the girls, unfaithful

🔹Taurus: discreet, i have no idea if he actually likes me or not, likes making fun of people, very much into gossips, pretty unproblematic, good student, an okay person, not particularly interesting (sorry!)

🔸Gemini: a complete mystery!! is he actually nice? I have no idea?? very very discreet, almost seems misanthropic, looks mean and unapprochable, very smart, good student and hardworking, ambitious, super picky about who he talks to but is very much into hanging out with people from everywhere around the world, typical rich white boy look, good at and into a lot of things, we had a crush on eachother for some reason

🔹Cancer: husband material, caring, will definitely make a good dad, serious student, honestly just super sweet and kind, will make friends with everyone, a bit bossy but will listen to what you have to say, forgives but doesn’t forget, stubborn, considerate

🔸Leo: charming, friendly, all the girls love him and he is friends with all of them, a great musician, conservative, fancy, cheeky, take notice of the little things about you, very serious, knows what he wants in life and how to get whatever it is

🔹Virgo: a bit discreet at first but super friendly, funny, my main dude now, sensitive, will notice if you have new earrings, compliments you and means it, when in love he’s extremely devoted to his partner, into sports, someone I can talk to about everything and he will listen

🔸Libra: aloof, hangs out with everyone but idk who he considers his friends, funny, cool style, i’ve never had a serious conversation with this guy, doesn’t know how to be serious and often makes things awkward because of that, annoying, not sure if I like him or not??

🔹Scorpio: weirdo, arrogant, nervous, very honest, makes fun of everyone, the gossip master, pretty mean, actually sensitive, doesn’t forgive easily, do NOT betray him because you will regret it, doesn’t give a damn about school, he’s always smoking when I see him, always late, I actually enjoy talking to him

🔸Sagittarius: overconfident, a bit selfish but it is somehow justified, genuinely thinks he’s better than everyone else, hates to be criticized, self-victimizing, can be really mean, sensitive, nervous and fidgety, VERY talkative and passionate, has strong opinions about everything, will love you if you listen to him, very good at art and creative, someone I’ll always love despite all his flaws, my favorite

🔹Capricorn: authoritarian and bossy, aspire to be the leader of the world (at least), politically involved, proud, popular, way too power-thirsty and a lot of people can’t stand him because of that, a nice guy anyway, friends with aries and has probably been into you and all your girl friends as well

🔸Aquarius: mean but friendly?!, people love him, hot-tempered, quite scary to me, loves bringing people down, an asshole tbqh, very very funny, nice comebacks, engages in verbal fights, street smart but definitely not school smart, pretends to know about stuff and can actually hold a conversation about something they don’t even know

🔹Pisces: nice humor, a bit of a weaboo, doesn’t have a strong personality and is quite adaptable, friendly and talkative, not into social networks, cute, a mate not a friend, not popular kids, quite loud

☀️ Please don’t forget to tag the signs you find accurate when you reblog ! tysm! ☀️

I think I just figured out why epithets, fanfiction’s favorite curse, bother me so much.

Listen, epithets are appropriate and good right up until you’ve revealed a character’s name or identity. Of course you distinguish characters by saying “the tall(er) man” or “the redhead” or whatever if those are the only identifiers you’ve given them. But as soon as you’ve given them a name, it just sounds dumb to keep referring to them as “the redhead”.

The reason for this, I think, lies in the one time it is appropriate to use epithets to identify a character you have already named: when you want to emphasize or remind your reader of a certain character trait because it enhances the context of what’s happening. This might be heart-wrenching: “Jenna’s eyes were red, but she had run out of tears hours ago. Now she simply sat and rocked in silence, feeling an emptiness where her heart had been. The pale, still body of the broken child lay curled and unmoving in her mother’s arms.” Or it could be used for comedy: “‘But do you think you can get out of the way fast enough, Joe?’ he asked. In response, the Olympic sprinter just raised his eyebrows.” Or, depending on how much description you’ve already given your characters it may just be something you drop by way of explanation: “Alex and Eloise, still dusty and grimy from the basement, went to work on the kitchen, checking through all the cupboards for leftover cutlery or abandoned soup cans. Eloise stuck to the cupboards under the sink and stove, letting her taller girlfriend take the ones she would’ve needed a chair to reach.”

The point that all these examples have in common is the epithet ADDS something. It’s important to the story, reminding or emphasizing something to the reader. If you’re just going to refer to somebody as “the blond” because you got tired of writing their name it sounds stupid. I know he’s blond, so why are you reminding me? Was it important to the moment somehow? Epithets need to MEAN something, not just be thrown around as substitute pronouns.

This is knowledge of abandonment.

Goodbye is the second before you lose them.

                                 Draw out a single goodbye with a ballpoint pen.

I know you retrace that same ink trail

that leads to the spot where the map

has been ripped in half.

                              It is muscle memory.

Goodbye is the last moment before everything stops making sense.

               I count goodbye on my fingers, toes, freckles

and spiders I step on but feel guilty for killing.

                  I apologize for knowing that  you and I have said goodbye about 329 times.

I wish I did not have to worry about the perminance of a single word.

I would say to you “goodbye” forever, so long as we refuse to stop spilling ink on our feet and untying our shoelaces

               —.