you judge me

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Back To You; Tom Holland

One-shot, based off ‘Back to You’ by Louis Tomlinson and Bebe Rexha

  • pairing: reader x tom holland
  • genre/warnings: pg/light swearing
  • words: 1500+
  • summary: the one where where you’re in love(?) and no matter what happens you can’t seem to leave tom

“I call you but you never even answer

I tell myself I’m done with wicked games

But then I get so numb with all the laughter

That I forget about the pain”

You weren’t certain of many things in your life but with every passing day, you knew your relationship with Tom Holland was on the rocks.

You and Tom had been dating for just over three years. For a while you were in the most wonderful, blissful honeymoon phase every couple dreamt of. It was perfect. You were happy. He was happy. You were both madly in love.

Neither of you could pin point exactly when things changed.

Eventually all of the little things that used to have you swooning over your boyfriend, you started to only see as a nuisance. You no longer cared about the fact that he always slept with the window half open because he always got hot at night. In fact, it became so bothersome because you knew that he was fully aware that you were the type of person to get cold easily. With the window open it just kept you up night, tossing and turning trying to find more blankets. 

He was starting to get fed up with the relationship as well, you were almost 100% sure of that. Back when you and Tom first became serious, you were the clingy girlfriend. You liked the reassurance that he was always going to be there for you and he always gave it. You liked touching him, holding him, being near him made you more comfortable. You felt safe in his presence.

But you couldn’t remember the last time he looked you dead in the eyes and told you that he was there to stay. You had forgotten what it was like to just be with him-to have him hold you in his arms for no apparent reason.

So last night when you walked into the apartment, ready to give Tom shit for leaving his shoes right in front of the door like he always did, you were very unprepared when you saw Tom standing in the living room, two skinny glasses filled with what you assumed was your favorite white wine, that’s what it looked like at least. 

You greeted him with a kiss, trying to ignore the fact that your heart fluttered for the first time in a long time. When he pulled away he showed you that your favorite movie was on the screen, paused at the opening credits. 

“It’s Friday, I figured you’d want to unwind,” his voice was soft and loving as you both sat down on the couch. Immediately his arms snaked around your waist, holding you so close against his body that you could not only hear his heartbeat but feel the pulse as well. The steady rise and fall of his chest with every breath he took brought you that comfort you longed for.

If someone asked you right then and there if yours and Tom’s relationship was going to be okay, you could finally say yes and not have it feel like a lie. 

“I know my friends, they give me bad advice

Like move on, get you out my mind

But don’t you think that I haven’t even tried

You got me cornered and my hands are tied”

“So you had one good night with him in months?” Your best friend pestered you from the kitchen where she stood to empty out her water bottle, “This relationship isn’t healthy, you know this. You have to move on.”

With my back turned towards her I rolled my eyes, knowing she couldn’t call me out for it. You played with my nails, trying to think of any excuse that you haven’t used before, but going back to the one you always stuck with.

“I love him,” 

“Really?” She asked, “Try to sound a bit more convincing, I dare you.”

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