you idiots are not even close to it

I think you need to just close the fucking chapter on him even if it was long enough to be a fucking novel itself. You’ve cried over this boy so many times before, when are you going to put yourself first? When are you going to realize this is not what you deserve? When you were little would you have ever wished this for yourself? Why are you putting yourself through this? You are so goddamn important and he is a fucking idiot who didn’t deserve to know you the way he did. Let him go, let him go, let him go. There is nothing more you can do.
—  @onlineprincess opened my eyes finally

some things john will say to sherlock once they’re together:

  • “I always loved you”
  • “From the start”
  • “She didn’t even come close”
  • “He may have been the first, but you’re the only”
  • “You’re a stupid git. But I love stupid gits”
  • “Come here. A kiss is needed”
  • “I love you so fucking much”
  • “Is this okay?”
  • “How about this?”
  • “You’re beautiful. Do you know you’re beautiful?”
  • “Amazing”
  • “Fantastic”
I KNOW THE POLLS CLOSE IN A FEW HOURS BUT PLEASE READ IF YOU ARE VOTING FOR DONALD TRUMP JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK IT’S FUNNY OR YOU THINK IT’S JUST A JOKE (trust me, there are so many people that are just so fucking stupid in the country) OR FOR ANY OTHER REASON IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR A SIGN NOT TO VOTE FOR HIM, WELL--

WE HAD A MOCK ELECTION AT SCHOOL TODAY AND DONALD TRUMP WON MY FUCKING SCHOOL.

BY 52%.

MY SCHOOL IS FILLED WITH IDIOTS IN THE FIRST PLACE BUT KNOW I KNOW THAT THEY’RE SOMEHOW EVEN DUMBER THAN I HAD PREVIOUSLY CONCEIVED.

DON’T MAKE THE MISTAKE THAT 52% OF MY SCHOOL OF IDIOTS MADE TODAY

DON’T


VOTE


FOR


FUCKING


DONALD


TRUMP

IT IS NOT A JOKE, IT NEVER WAS, MILLIONS OF LIVES ARE AT STAKE.

TIME IS RUNNING OUT PEOPLE, SPREAD THE FUCKING WORD

HE


IS


NOT


THE 


RIGHT


CHOICE

I really like the headcanon that:

A. Anakin and Padmé were absolutely rubbish at being discreet about their relationship and didn’t even realize it

B. Obi-Wan figured it out himself early on because he isn’t an idiot, and didn’t say anything in the hope that Anakin would eventually tell Obi-Wan himself

C. To make sure Anakin and Padmé’s secret, already poorly-kept by the idiots themselves, didn’t get out to the Council (resulting in Anakin being kicked out of the Order), Obi-Wan found himself having to constantly make distractions for the other Council members when they came close to stumbling upon the truth (which wouldn’t happen so often if you would stop KISSING YOUR SECRET WIFE IN PUBLIC, ANAKIN), including at one point taking Mace Windu out for a beautiful evening at the Galactic Gardens

T-Minus 15 sleeps until BMAM-Mass!  In the spirit of @thepurrbutton ‘s wonderful series reminding us just how nuanced, complex and wonderful Bernie Wolfe is, I was thinking again about this piece of dialogue from Back in the Ring

“Well how about this, Serena Campbell, Occam’s Razor. For every accepted explanation of a phenomenon there are an incomprehensible number of possible and more complex alternatives.”

It seems to me, the perhaps Bernie could apply this to her relationship with Serena when she returns home. Her whole life has been dominated by difficulty with emotional choices.  But now, if she’s brave enough….

Serena Campbell. An incomprehensible, more complex alternative.

Extra Serena Campbell Bonus as illustrated with shitty, poor resolution screenshots.  This is Serena’s face in the exact moments when Bernie begins to say her name. Bernie and Serena are verbally sparring as they walk down the hall and Serena’s face is fairly neutral but the moment Bernie says her name, Serena’s face lights up in a smile that could power Holby. Tell me this ins’t the look of someone in love.

Voltron Fic Rec List

Klance

you have received entirely, entirely by loveghost

Shiro blinks at him. Lance doesn’t blame him; he’s horrified at himself too. What karmic sins did he commit in past lives to bring this upon himself? To now, in the midst of a training session of all times, blurt: “Hey, guys? You ever think about soulmates and shit?”

Lightning in a Bottle by amillionsmiles

“Well, buddy, beach volleyball isn’t a fight,” he says, getting close enough so that he can clearly see the navy blue of Keith’s eyes, their noses almost brushing. “It’s a dialogue.”

Keith thrusts the ball back at Lance’s chest, eyes flashing.

“Oh, yeah? You’d better start talking, then.”

(or: it’s good to be back at Veradera Beach. It’s good to be back home.)

Kiss Me, You Idiot by @glowdroid

It happens at 2 am, like all regrettable-but-painfully-sincere things do, even in Altean time.

He’s Shallow, Is What I Mean by @lancecmcclain

This is actually just Keith being gay and Pidge being aro as hell. Rated G for Gay. 

bench press me by eggboi

“The hell are you doing?” Keith grumbles out, body mid-push up. There’s a snicker behind him, too close to his ears, though Keith can’t really understand what would be so amusing about this. Then again, he’s not really sure why Lance is lying on him while he’s doing push ups either. Other than to be, of course, annoying.

“Nothing.” Lance finally says. Keith hears the grin in his voice, which only proves to irritate him a little more. ‘Nothing’ his ass. “Continue with what you’re doing, Mr. ‘I’m-Too-Good-For-Socialization’.”

(Lance, as always, tries to annoy Keith by making his exercise harder. It doesn’t work. At all.)

Color Me Intrigued by dreamcp

Lance draws. Specifically, Lance draws Keith. A lot.

twelve feet deep by starspecters

Keith doesn’t respond, but he does smile - which is honestly better, in Lance’s opinion - and Lance starts to worry that maybe he should have applied more sunblock when the tips of his ears grow hot.

never been kissed by kairiolette

“You give off the obnoxious popular vibe. The mullet, and the rap sheet, and—the fingerless gloves,” Lance replies, and barrels on before Keith can take it the wrong way. “I’m so handsome, my name’s Keith and I’m a pilot.”

“That sounds more like a compliment than an insult,” Keith says slowly, a disdainful quirk to his eyebrows that only spurs Lance on. He tilts his head a bit, his bangs shadowing his face, like he’s assessing a particularly impossible physics problem. “And I don’t like that voice you’re using.”

Sheith

according to protocol by amillionsmiles

“PDA in uniform can result in a demerit of fifty to a hundred points,” Shiro murmurs.

“Good thing we’re not in public, then,” Keith mutters hoarsely.

Part 1 of the this corner of the universe series

keep up with you by amillionsmiles

“Clay thinks you have an eight-pack.”

Shiro’s eyebrow jumps. “Does he, now?”

“I told him I wouldn’t believe it until I saw it,” continues Keith, eyes dancing with a challenge.

Part 2 of the this corner of the universe series

Victorious by themorninglark

“When you come back - ” says Keith, again, and then he can’t finish the sentence for the enormity of it, so he stops short. Leaves it hanging like a promise, waiting to be fulfilled, and settles for reaching out to rest his hand on Shiro’s shoulder instead. Lets the contact linger for as long as he can, etched like life lines and heart lines into his palm.

Shiro nods. He doesn’t break promises.

Neither does Keith.

For the Damaged by commodorecliche

You’ve held your head up
You’ve fought the fight
You bear the scars
You’ve done your time
Listen to me
You’ve been lonely, too long

  • Atsushi: You’re going to be so proud of me! I finished a puzzle in 8 months and the box said 6-7 years!
  • Dazai: Wow…
2

Y/N: you know life sucks?
C: what?
Y/N: I am absolutely miserable and nobody takes a second glance to notice, I just feel so lonely all the time, nobody was really ever there for me Carl, except you, Carl Gallagher you’re a good one. *hiccup*
C: *holds you close not saying a word*
Y/N: I feel like such an idiot sometimes, like do I even deserve to be here right now?
C: I’m sorry.
Y/N: for *sniffle* what?
C: I care so much about and I didn’t even notice you felt this bad.
Y/N: it’s okay Carl, I didn’t want you to know.
C: but I love you.
Y/N: I *hiccup* know.

-requested by anon
-gif not mine

The 100 ways to say 'I love you' OTH edition
  • 1. "Always and forever."
  • 2. "I wanted you to fight for me."
  • 3. "Don't say I never gave you anything."
  • 4. "Hey, pretty girl."
  • 5. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
  • 6. "This is how I spent my summer, wanting you."
  • 7. "You are not allowed to quote from my letters."
  • 8. "You are not an idiot, not even close."
  • 9. "I needed to hear your voice."
  • 10. "Didn't you miss me while you were away?"
  • 11. "This is gonna work, right?"
  • 12. "When are we gonna get to that kissing part?"
  • 13. "I am the guy for you, ____."
  • 14. "You told me to fight for you and I did."
  • 15. "Please stay."
  • 16. "It means a lot to me to know you are here."
  • 17. "Why won't you ever just let me all the way in?"
  • 18. "I’ve given exactly two of these embarrassing speeches in my entire life, and they’ve both been with you."
  • 19. "I miss this, you know? Talking to you."
  • 20. "I need you to need me back."
  • 21. "Can I help you?"
  • 22. "I’m here for you forever."
  • 23. "You always make everything better for me."
  • 24. "Hoes over bros?"
  • 25. "You have me no matter what."
  • 26. "I wish you would've told me."
  • 27. "We made it, didn’t we?"
  • 28. “You think I need to see you with my eyes to know what’s going on with you.”
  • 29. "You're always saving me."
  • 30. "I can't live without you."
  • 31. "When all my dreams come true, the one I want next to me... It's you."
  • 32. "Nothing will happen to you, I promise."
  • 33. "It’s always gonna be there, isn’t it? Me and you?"
  • 34. "I sort of like you, you know that?"
  • 35. "I want all the same things you want."
  • 36. "I don't hate you."
  • 37. "Your art matters. It’s what got me here."
  • 38. "Or I can stay if you want."
  • 39. "I wanna have everything with you."
  • 40. "It didn’t mean anything."
  • 41. "It won't happen again."
  • 42. "That girl has been nearly impossible to find but worth every second of the wait."
  • 43. "Maybe I can wish something for you."
  • 44. "You look skinny as ever."
  • 45. "You deserve this."
  • 46. "You’ve taught me to trust."
  • 47. "You see the world in a way that no one else does."
  • 48. "You appreciate everything."
  • 49. "There’s no one in the world like you."
  • 50. "I like it when you get me."
  • 51. "I’m happy to be gotten."
  • 52. "You make sad look beautiful."
  • 53. "I realized how empty my world was without you in it."
  • 54. "Hey, gorgeous."
  • 55. "You don't know me well enough to judge me."
  • 56. "Actually, I feel like I do know you."
  • 57. "We’re us, _____."
  • 58. "You’re sexy when you play football."
  • 59. "You look even more beautiful than in my dreams."
  • 60. "You should know I plan on making every one of your dreams come true."
  • 61. "I could have held you in my arms forever and it still wouldn’t have been long enough."
  • 62. "I need you to get past this."
  • 63. "You are too amazing to carry this around."
  • 64. "Every song ends, is that any reason not to enjoy the music?"
  • 65. "Everything was so much simpler when it was just you and me."
  • 66. "I gotta be honest with you, I could never officially give you away."
  • 67. "Because my world is better with you in it."
  • 68. "I will always be there for you."
  • 69. "I will always protect you."
  • 70. "Can I stay with you tonight?"
  • 71. "I just don’t want to do anything to drive you away."
  • 72. "I don’t want to be that guy anymore."
  • 73. "I wanna be somebody that’s good enough to be seen with you."
  • 74. "We made it."
  • 75. "Thank you for believing in me."
  • 76. "I am not going anywhere."
  • 77. "I don’t ever want to lose you."
  • 78. "Till kingdom come."
  • 79. "But everything is better with you."
  • 80. "I miss you in forever ways."
  • 81. "I like you, more than you know."
  • 82. "You are the devil, aren't you?"
  • 83. "I do like waking up to you."
  • 84. "It's unbelievable how much I hate you."
  • 85. "They are great. So are you."
  • 86. "I promise you I’ll still feel the same way about you that I do right now."
  • 87. "I’m voting for her because of her heart and her spirit."
  • 88. "Do you know how terrible it is to be disconnected from your best friend?"
  • 89. "I could’ve loved the girl in this picture."
  • 90. "I'm gonna miss you most of all."
  • 91. "How can you not see that?"
  • 92. "I remember looking in that mirror and telling you how special you are."
  • 93. "Girls just want somebody to want them back."
  • 94. "What's underneath all the clothes?"
  • 95. "I wanted to come see you because I knew something was wrong."
  • 96. "Forgiveness is love, you know?"
  • 97. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me."
  • 98. "It's absolutely your business."
  • 99. "My home is your home now."
  • And...
  • 100. "I love you, you know that?"
More Vampire Starters
  • "I don't feel good. I think it was someone I ate."
  • "I love Halloween. No need to hide what I am."
  • "Werewolves. Why did it have to be werewolves?"
  • "I could make a joke about eating Chinese and being hungry an hour after but that would be racist."
  • "They do know I'm a vampire, right?"
  • "Most of that stuff in Dracula isn't even close to what vampires are really like."
  • "Fuck Anne Rice and her frilly, bitch ass vampires."
  • "We have a few hours until sunrise, what else do you want to do?"
  • "Silver bullets are for werewolves, you idiot."
  • "Here. You take this crucifix and stake and stay behind me."
  • "Are you sure that's holy water?"
  • "That's not going to work on me."
  • "Disco wasn't the worst thing ever. The classical era was the worst. The fops with their powdered wigs, pancake make up and mincing was way worse than bell bottoms."
  • "I am going to kill and eat you for this."
  • "Don't suppose you have a bottle of O+, would you?"
  • "You don't get a lot of sun, do you?"
  • "I am hundreds of years old. You need to do better than that."
  • "I just need a taste."
  • "You're not going out wearing that are you? It's not the 19th century any more."
  • "Isn't the moon beautiful?"
  • "I'm not sure how old you think I am but I don't do the club scene."
  • "What is that, the sun? What time is it? Why did you wake me up so early?"
  • "Is that screaming? Wonderful."
  • "Come here pet, I'm hungry."
  • "Can't this wait until evening? It's almost sunrise."
@felineladyy replied to your post “Fluff Emergency”

Questions for the idiots in love! Domestic style? who uses all the hot water in the shower? who’s stuff is taking over the bathroom counter?

Oh, man, that is not even a close call.

HANNIBAL, for god’s sake, how many hair products does one man need, are you sure these even ARE hair products, this smells like food, are you putting food in my hair? 

HANNIBAL, I think small nations have risen and fallen in the time we’ve been in this shower, and I’m not complaining, I’m really not, you are VERY pretty soaking wet, but shouldn’t we be out of hot water by now?  Just what kind of water heater did you have them install, anyway?

HANNIBAL. I thought we’d reached an agreement about my aftershave.  Where did you hide it this time.  WHERE.  WHERE IS IT.  I JUST WANT TO KEEP ONE BOTTLE ON THE VANITY. YOU HAVE TWELVE BOTTLES AND THREE JARS. LET ME HAVE THIS ONE THING.

HANNIBAL. I concede that we need to keep lube in the bathroom, given past history, but one bottle is enough.  Three strategically stashed around the room is overkill.  Yes, it is. Stop making that face, you know I’m right about this.

HANNIBAL. I need to say something, okay?  You, ugh, okay, you were right about the towels.  These are really good towels.  I feel like I just dried myself off on angels’ wings.  I still think it’s obscene for towels to cost that much, but I get it now.  You are officially in charge of towel choices for the rest of our lives.

…Hannibal?  Hannibal, are you crying?

Fuck’s sake, you can’t cry every time I say “the rest of our lives.”  Try to remember our lives aren’t worth the paper our fake IDs are printed on.  Our lives might be very, very short.  We may not live long enough to ever need to buy another set of towels.  These might be the last towels. 

…ugh.  Come here.  Let me dry your ridiculous tears with this giant fluffy towel.  Maybe we’ll live to be a hundred, it happens.  We’ll get old and cranky together and Jack will retire and they’ll stop looking for us, and you can pick out the towels forever, okay? 

Shhh, c’mere.  It’s okay. The towel is very absorbent, cry all you want.  Might as well get our money’s worth.

2

  Imagine Obi-Wan falling in love with you but trying to hide it because he’s a Jedi, and you cluelessly flustering him whenever you get too close   

You were a great source of frustration for Obi-Wan.

When ever you were around him he couldn’t speak, he would choke or stumble on his words, and had to excuse himself so he didn’t appear a complete idiot.

But at the same time he forever wanted to be with you, even within eye sight was preferable to your total absence.

He knew he could never show how he felt, and it pained him. But he couldn’t help himself from helping you in little ways.

Need a bit of information

“Got it.”

Do you know where…?

“Right this way.”

“Obi-wan?”

His head shot up as if he heard a sharp whistle before slowing down and trying not to seem eager. “Yes?”

“I’m sorry to be a bother but I can’t reach…”

“Oh it’s no bother.” He smiled and hastily came to your aid, standing and reaching up to a height you couldn’t reach without a stool. His chest was almost flush with your back and as he lowered the object down to you, you spun and the two of you were nose to nose.

He paused, not used to being this close to you.

He made a point of keeping his distance and never making more than small talk. But at this range you were even more beautiful than before. He could see the varying shades in your eyes and the small blemishes that made your skin even more perfect than before.

The slight crookedness of your teeth when you smiled brightly at him made his heart race and he unknowingly stood dumbstruck for quite a while until you cleared your throat with a hint of concern.

“Uh, Obi Wan?” You spoke up and he blinked and blushed deeply.

“Oh, I apologize I uh…Here.” He thrust the object into your grasp and rushed off before you could speak more.

Rounding a corner quickly and leaning on the wall, he discovered his heart was pounding and his hands clammy.

You were the most perfect problem he could ever hope to have.

The Hufflepuff

Newt Scamander x Slytherin! Reader 

Request:  @godessofdeath- Sorry, I changed a little bit of it, but I still hope you like it <3 Ten un buen día! 

*Have a nice day :)

Words: 1, 853

A/N: I really enjoyed writing this one!

………………………

Originally posted by sweetly87

“I didn´t punch him, he just happened to be too close to my fist. That´s all.” You tried to defend yourself, even if it was obvious you were lying about it. It´s not like it was really your fault, the Gryffindor idiot decided it was okay to mess around with you because he was taller.

Dumbledore sighed tiredly, rubbing his fingers through his face. “You must know that you will receive more than just a scold. Stop being harsh, I can´t follow you around to get you out of trouble.” Albus Dumbledore was always the same towards you. Kind, gentle and a father figure. “You will have to help this afternoon in the potions classroom, I have one Hufflepuff that needs some assistance.” He mumbled coldly when you didn’t apologize for punching the prick.

“At six o´clock. Don’t you dare to assume I will not notice your tardiness.”

“I´ll be there, professor.” Adverting his gaze you waited till he sighed again. Why was he sighing so much? You weren’t doing anything more than defending yourself!

Well… maybe you laughed along with your friends when the Gryffindor –coward- ran towards the infirmary threating you. His exclamations were going along the lines: I promise you will cry next time!  And: You filthy snake!

When you remembered that Mr. Dumbledore was still there, you fought the need of grinning. But you were sure he noticed the way your mouth twitched to the sides.

“I will see you soon.”

…………………

“So you aren’t going to the practice?” Damian said, already getting himself in a bad mood.

“Stop being such a narcissist, our poor babe is going to spend her time with a useless Hufflepuff.” Now you rolled your eyes in disagreement, Andro had a short temper when other houses were the issue.

“Don’t be so rude, I don’t even know this person.” Your friends were idiots most of the time, but going to the point of attacking a Hufflepuff was plainly sad.

“If Dumbledore likes the brat so much is probably because he´s a weird bug that stays all his nights on the library. And yes, I must say it´s obvious that the person is a man.” Andro stated harshly, making you feel a little concerned. Andro bit her lip when you observed her with an annoyed glare. “Just don’t let the badger get to your soft spot. I don’t want you to pass me the fleas.”

“Whatever you say, crazy woman.”

Damian chuckled for a moment, before encircling Andro’s waist. “Wasn’t their animal a skunk?”

“It’s a badger.” You defended with a frown.

“Nah, I assure you it´s a smelly skunk.”

…………………

You found yourself three steps away from Professor Dumbledore and a freckled shivering guy. Was he cold? Maybe you could lend him your scarf…but having to scarfs would probably be too uncomfortable to him.

“This is Newt Scamander, he´s the student I wanted you to help out.” You nodded slightly, eyeing him with disappointment. It would have been awesome if he were a girl.

“Nice to meet you.” The tall thin guy said with shyness, gazing to his shoes while he talked. “A-as Professor Dumbledore said, I´m going to need a little bit of assistance…” He repeated, obviously rambling because he didn’t know what to say. You were oddly intrigued by his quirky expressions. That just made things a ten percent more acceptable.

After presenting yourself and earning another lecture from the old man -that made Newt almost faint- you both entered the classroom. Everything was in place except one of the tables, the one in the right corner of the room.

“Are we going to prepare a potion?” You asked groggily, there were few things that you hated. And one of them was to stir a dangerous thing in a cauldron till it made your arms hurt. You thought Dumbledore was going to make you clean or something…

“Yes. I must confess is pretty hard to do, but Mr. Dumbledore said you were a capable student.” Capable? You snorted.

“Yeah, I´m an expert.” Whispering, you followed him to the table and leaned to see what kind of potion you were about to do. “Wolfsbane?!” You exclaimed, making Newt jump and look at you in disapproval. “Why?” You asked a second later.

“Because Dumbledore told us to. Don’t question his decisions too much.” He said calmly, everything on him seemed calm and shy. “Isn´t it awesome? We´re obviously preparing this for a werewolf!” Newt inhaled with sparkly eyes. “They are mysterious creatures, I´m sure they could use their abilities in so much ways…” He finished dreamily, letting you with an almost excited feeling fluttering on your chest. The way he said it was just so full of passion that you knew he loved talking about beasts. “Oh! Sorry, I just got caught on something you probably not care about…”

“Care about? I obviously do, I´m a Slytherin. I would have told you the second you began to talk that I wasn’t interested. Tell me more about them.” You grinned mischievously when he raised his gaze to meet yours, beautiful green mottled eyes dragged you into his enthusiasm. “I will be flattered!” He squealed like a love-struck teenager, making you chuckle and lean even more to him.

At that exact moment, the acceptance of the punishment went from ten percent to one hundred percent.

…………………

“So…how was it?” Andro´s voice asked, but you didn’t gave a response. You were more interested in looking for Newt´s presence in the dining hall. Where did the freckled sweetheart passed all of his lunches? You couldn’t see him sitting on the Hufflepuff table so you decided it was a normal reaction to go look for him.

“Sorry, gotta go. I need something from the library.” Damian raised an eyebrow and when you rapidly stood up from your seat, he grabbed your cloak.

“Why do you need to go again? You went yesterday.” Andro snatched his boyfriend´s hand off you and gave a court nod towards the exit.

“She´s seems eager to go, just let her be.”

……………………

Six months later, you passed all your time alone –without the Slytherins- with Newt. He sometimes talked too much about some Leta Lestrange girl, but it wasn’t a problem, because two seconds later he would compare her to you…even saying that you were more fun

The only problem were your house mates, they didn’t like him at all. Andro patiently scolded you more than once for talking to him publicly but now you didn’t give a damn about what she had to say. Hufflepuffs were way more fun than the Slytherins.

Or maybe that was the platonic love talking in your name. Because trying to spend every single minute with him was totally platonic.

“You always say I am the dreamer, but today you´re stealing away my title.” A blush crept to your face. It wasn’t a good time to receive a friendly arm over your shoulders. “For a second I thought you were avoiding me for being late yesteday.”

“Ha. Not even a snake could make me ignore you, do you thought a badger could?”

“Maybe a bowtruckle would.”

“A what?” A grin came to his face and he stepped in front of you. His hands went to his left pocket and a little human looking thing bowed at you. It was green and tiny, like really, really tiny. “This smol´baby is so precious!”

Newts ruffled hair covered his eyes when he observed his small friend, but you were sure they were filled with adoration. “Yes. I truly believe he is. I found him…outside…”He muttered the last part in such a quiet voice that you were the only one in the corridor that actually distinguished what he said. When you raised both of your eyebrow and pouted, he passed one of his hands through the locks of his brownish hair.

“Let´s not talk here.”

He dragged you all the way out to the lake while refusing to say anything before arriving to a secure place.

……………………

“And when were you going to tell me all of this…?”

“I promised Mr. Dumbledore that I wouldn’t say a thing. At the end, the werewolf is just another student, the others may get him expelled…” At least he was saying it you. He trusted you enough to twist Dumbledore´s trust. “I will just ignore the fact that you entered a dangerous forest with a werewolf. But remember, you freak, next time I promise I will punch you.”

Newt gulped loudly and you began to laugh with him. “Earlier, you were talking about our new friend.” He nodded rapidly and showed you the green man, again. “I named him Pickett.”

“Hey there Pickett, I´m pleased to meet you.” He bowed like the last time. “Can I touch you?” When he didn’t made a sound you looked over to your friend. “Can I touch him?”

“Yes, come on Pickett, don’t be so rude with a lady.” The green thing crossed his lanky arms and you chuckled. Even when he was mean he was still adorable. “I´m sorry, he was attachment issues. Pickett doesn’t like to be touched by anyone else. This is his first time going out.”

Being the teasing brat you always were, you smooched the bowtruckle, fast enough to get him confused. “Ow, look at that flushed face!” Pickett screamed angrily, making you smirk.

“Hey, why-why does he gets the kisses?!” Newt stuttered, more shocked than the bowtruckle in his hands.

“Oh, so that means that my sweetheart, wants a kiss?” His face got flushed with embarrassment. Newt thought he didn’t say that aloud, but apparently he did.

“Sweet-, Sweetheart?” He tried to get you to say more and you were kind enough to continue.

“What else should I call you? Love? Darling? Handsome?” Newt´s bowtruckle began to squeak with the same embarrassment that his owner –mum- was experiencing. And then you abruptly stopped. “Mmm, there´s still one thing I can´t be able to name you.”

“There is?”

“Yep. Boyfriend.” Pickett threw himself to your hands in excitement. Something told you that the tiny creature knew a lot about you, and it certainly was because of your friend.

When he realized what exactly did your word meant he gasped. “So you want to call me…your boyfriend? Me?”

“There is no other wizard here, Newt.” His heart stopped for more than a second and a lot of thoughts filled his mind. How could he get so lucky? Was he dreaming?

Just to check he was still alive or awake, he leaned to press his lips against yours. And for Merlin´s beard, he was there. It wasn’t his imagination. He really kissed you. He really felt you shiver and take a hold of his hair just to kiss him deeper.

“Stay with me forever.” He suddenly said, a second after his mouth left yours, not really thinking straight.  “Or just for now, I mean I—I don’t like forcin- I will shut up.”

“You´re so adorable, Scamander.”

(Picket observed you both suck each other’s faces, without amusement. He was –somehow- expecting it.)

What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
—  Skulduggery Pleasant, to lots of people, probably

anonymous asked:

31 and Stiles Stilinski :-*

Stiles Stilinski - “You may be an idiot, but you’re my idiot.”

While the credits of your favorite movie on Netflix were playing you had your eyes closed and laid on the couch. Maybe you shouldn’t have watched the movie to the very end. Maybe you should have gone to bed halfway, like you had promised yourself you would. Now you knew that it was already way past midnight even though it was a normal school day tomorrow.

“(Y/N)?”

Your eyes flashed open when Stiles rushed into the room, his voice filled with panic, his veins visibly beating in his neck.

“(Y/N)? Are you okay?” He was out of breath and he almost tripped over his own feet while he kneeled down next to you.

“Stiles?” You frowned your eyebrows. “How the hell did you even get in here?” You shook your head and pushed yourself up. Your body felt a little sore because the couch was clearly less comfortable than your bed would have been.

“I got myself a key made…” He lifted his keyring with countless keys up and you took a deep breath while you sat up completely. “I wanted to be able to rush in when something would happen or when someone would attack you.”

“Like right now?” You widened your eyes and your lips curled up into a slight smile. “I was just watching Netflix and failing to keep my eyes open. Nobody was here to kill me and nothing happened.”

“I got a weird text message from you!” Stiles took his phone from the pocket of his jeans and showed you the message that had been sent a couple of minutes ago. “I thought someone had come here to take you or hurt you or kill you or even worse!” He was still screaming and you pressed a finger to your lips.

“My parents are still sleeping, Stiles…” You shook your head. “And that message was clearly sent by my wonderful, smart and amazing behind.” You stood up from the couch and held up your phone. “I don’t think it had the intention to kill me or even worse, whatever that might be.” You couldn’t help grinning though and took a deep breath. “Why didn’t you just call me to check what the message meant?”

“Yeah, I could have done that, should have done that maybe.” Stiles licked his lips before he started grinning too. “But when I think that something is wrong with you, I all of a sudden turn into a complete idiot.”

You smiled and you wrapped your arms around his neck so your nose could touch his. “You may be an idiot, but you’re my idiot.” You kissed his lips. “It’s still a little creepy though that you got yourself a key to my house.” You cocked your head and Stiles started to blush while his arms slid around your waist.

“It’s not going to make it better when I say that I have a key to the houses of all my friends too, is it?” He licked his lips and you smiled once more before you tapped his nose.

“No, not really.”

“Yeah, I already thought so…”

2

(Requested by jessicafire921)

You loved Jasper.

You loved everything about him. His smile, his hair, his accent, his love of history, even his old fashioned mannerisms.

What you didn’t love was that he drinks blood to survive.

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