you have ultimate control over absolutely everything

anonymous asked:

I really want to support all of this stuff but im too afraid to because I guess I think im a little bit in denial of my trauma? like I still support everything 100% but im afraid to openly support it because it would make me come to terms with what's happened. im afraid to confront my past and I feel like I'm perfectly fine just ignoring it but everyone say that you can't do that or it gets worse but I don't know what to do because I feel a lot better when I don't acknowledge it at all

What you are describing is the natural journey of recovery.  

It comes in waves and other times droughts.  

The very meaning of recovery is you learning how to control those waves & droughts.  

HOWEVER, your waves & droughts will be triggered by what is going on in your life. Sometimes you have control over events and sometimes you won’t.

A lover problem is within your control.  A boss’ sexism triggering you or having a baby is more unavoidable.  

THE biggest reason to keep & stay in therapy NOW is to concentrate on healing problems before they destroy your future marriage & ability to be a great mother. 

YOU CAN PUSH aside all these issues as much as you like, but when the issues of sex or domination: attaching to a spouse, trusting a spouse, getting pregnant, giving birth, these issues will lead to mental health breakdowns, addictions, Postpartum depression, cheating, divorce, CPS. 

How many examples do you already know of? 

Dealing with it when it’s not so intense is so much easier than the paragraph above.

It takes time to find a perfect therapist.  Years, but you need one at easy access when things fall apart. 

YOU MUST HAVE a domestic violence or sexual assault professional as a moral compass and best friend confident.  Just going to school and getting an overall therapy degree is like settling for a primary care doctor instead of a neurologist.  

Finding a best-friend therapist will not happen overnight and if a connected relationship doesn’t develop; move on and find her. 

Your friends & spouse can be very empathic but they can never understand the complexities and depth of pain, fear, frustrations.   It is actually cruel for me to expect my husband to fully understand what it’s like to be raped.  He’s a guy.  

We want you to learn now, so you have control over your life and ultimately truly move past all the trauma and have a life of fulfilling loving relationships. 

AVOIDING only delays the process until it’s so unavoidable you lose everything.

If you don’t want to deal with your issues, then at least listen to the stories of woman in the past who lost everything. 

ANDREA YATES postpartum depression is absolutely the story of a severely abuse woman who never deal with it.  These extreme cases of postpartum depression are not happening to women who just get pregnant, it’s abused women who get pregnant.