you have to stop oh my god

Caffeine Challenge #15

“It’s kind of like the Hangover,” Selene observes. She’s not even breathing hard, power walking down the hall of their hotel in heels like she does this every Friday night. “You know? That move with Zack Gal–”

“Oh - my - god,” Heather pants, fingers twisted tightly in the fabric of her skirt so that it doesn’t get caught under her wedges. “Oh god, we’re in a dude movie!”

At the head of the pack, Ryan stops, spinning on her stiletto to glare. She’s the only one in a dress short enough not to have to hold it and she puts her hands on her hips.

“We are not,” she hisses, “in a dude movie. This isn’t like the Hangover because we haven’t lost her!”

Heather and Selene look at each other and then back to Ryan. They’ve been following her lead all night, respecting her place as maid of honor, but Ryan knows it’s only a matter of time before that changes.

Witches don’t particularly like playing follow the leader.

“Well,” Selene says at last, “do we know where Kim is?”

“No,” Ryan says, “but–”

“Has she responded to any of our messages?” Heather asks.

Ryan pulls her phone out of her cleavage to check her messages and winces. “Well, no, but–”

“Does anyone remember what happened this afternoon?” Selene asks.

Heather wrinkles her nose. “There was a unicorn? I think? Or a donkey with a very convincing aura.”

Selene does jazz hands. “We lost the bride and we’re in the Hangover.”

Keep reading

  • Friend: hey so i just started watching this tv show and it's about these two cute girls an-
  • Other friend: no no no no no stop talking right now you don't know what you're-
  • Me: I SHIP THEM ALREADY THEY'RE SO IN LOVE. I LIVE,BREATHE,AND DIE FOR THEM OH MY GOD MY BABIEESSSSS

Oh my fucking god❓❓❓❓i love you❓❓ thank you so much‼️ thank you all for following my blog❗️❗️❗️ i just don’t have enough words to describe how i feel rn but you should know I can’t stop smiling🙈🙈🙈 i still don’t know what to do to and how to celebrate it, but if you have any ideas or wanna know smth my ask box is always open! Thanks for being here with me i’ll try my best to please you!! One more time THANK YOU and one more time I LOVE YOU❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

2

170224 — Hyuna in Toronto

I had the privilege of seeing Hyuna in Toronto tonight on the second stop of her North American Tour, and oh my god. She is absolutely the sweetest, most talented, genuine woman I have ever seen. Hyuna went on every end of the stage, kneeling down in front of fans, posing for them, blowing them kisses, holding their hands, and making hearts for us. When the time for the high-touch/photo op came, she smiled brightly at everyone even though she must have been tired from just performing. She looked into my eyes and smiled at me. She looked into everyone’s eyes, I think, wanted to make them feel special and loved, and know that we’re just as important to her as she is to us. Hyuna is an incredible performer and an even more incredible human being. I love Kim Hyuna.

anonymous asked:

Oh... My god. Read a fucking medical journal you ignorant child. And for the love of everything please stop posting so much bullshit.

my blog is like 90% picture cats and pokemon, so what bullshit are you even referring to here?

oh wait nevermind, this is about me saying I wanted a sweet robot body yesterday isn’t it? you’re right that isn’t medically possible I should have read up on it more before making such an ignorant post im sorry :/

my fav trope is like, nonhuman characters not understanding human needs/customs but still being super supportive of their human companion

“look what I found while exploring this planet’s surface!” “kilrak please I’m trying to sleep” “ah yes your human circadian rhythm. *stage whispering* I am supposed to be quiet during this time in your rhythm, yes?”

“the book I purchased on ragnok V says humans require physical touch when upset. therefore, I shall engage in a ‘hug’ with you.” *supremely awkward five-armed hug ensues*

*human sneezes* “OH MY GOD SIL'EEN GET THE MEDIC OUR HUMAN IS DYING”

“this pamphlet I received recently says that humans require companions and packmates in the form of small earth creatures. you should have told me this before we departed earth, but it is no worry. we will have to stop at the next trade planet to get you one of these ‘cats’ or 'dogs’.”

lance: HEY GUYS CHECK THIS OUT *plays the john cena song terribly on a recorder with his nose like in that one vine

keith: stop 

lance: why :(

keith: because *takes out a kazoo* i want in on this so we have to restart 

lance: *tears up* this is why i’m in love with you

bart is like 16 lisa is 14
  • bart: hey lis can i talk to you
  • lisa: uhhhh i'm doing my homework actually can i
  • bart: great ok so i'm like. hold on
  • bart: (leaves)
  • lisa:
  • bart: (comes back into lisa's room with his skateboard)
  • lisa: no
  • bart: no listen it's fine
  • lisa: bart no oh my GOD stop
  • bart: it's fine it's fine just let me
  • lisa: BART--
  • bart: (kickflips) I'M GAY
  • lisa:
  • bart:
  • lisa: oh!
  • bart: yeah
  • lisa: you didn't have to do a kickflip bart i'm not going to--
  • bart: i wanted to do the kickflip so i did the kickflip
"Stop watching those Tv shows, it's complete waste of time. Don't you have a life?"

…oh wow you know what? You’re so right. What the hell am I doing? It’s not like these useless series have given me any great ideas, or taught me amazing lessons about life, symbolism, parallels, foreshadowing and whatnot.

My god, I’m a piece of shit!

winged sentence starters
  1. “Can you stop shedding feathers in the shower? Or at least clean them up afterwards?”
  2. “Sorry about my cat. she/he really, really likes feathery things.”
  3. “Hold on, your feathers are looking a bit disheveled. Want me to straighten them out for you?”
  4. “Can you actually… use those things?”
  5. “Oh my god. You have wings.”
  6. “How is this even possible?”
  7. “Hey, what’s up with your back? You look like a professional olympic swimmer on steroids.”
  8. “You flew for six hours? Come here, you’re getting a back rub.” 
  9. “Did someone try and pluck a feather again? Are they dead?”
  10. “What on earth happened to you? Have your wings been trimmed? Wh- are you ok?!”
  11. “…Where are your wings? What happened to you?”
  12. “So, like… do you just cut holes in your clothes and stuff?”
  13. “Underwear must be confusing.”
  14. “Look. I know you want to cuddle, but ten seconds after you fall asleep you roll away and I get a mouthful of feathers. Clean your primaries or stay still!”
  • person: *walks up to a snack bar* hi, I'm really thirsty -
  • my friend: oh no
  • person: can I please -
  • my friend: sTOP.
  • person: - have a bottle of -
  • my friend: s t O P.
  • person: soda?
  • me: DID SOMEONE HERE JUST SAY SODA. sODA AS IN GREEK GOD COME TO LIFE. SODA AS IN BORN ON OCTOBER 8TH 1948. sODA AS IN THAT DUDE THAT'S 5'11”. SODA AS IN THE GUY THAT USED TO CRY OVER HIS HORSE NAMED MICKEY MOUSE. YOU MEAN SODA THAT LIKES HIS EGGS WITH GRAPE JELLY.

I’ve seen people on here saying that 2016 didn’t really suck. That it would have been an okay year, if people would stop “whining about celebrity deaths.”

To that, I say, shut the hell up, oh my god.

Yeah, the celebrity deaths made the year hard - a lot of people that were very loved, who inspired us, passed away this year. That’s awful.

But have you not seen politics? Have you not seen people being gunned down in the streets, people spray-painting swastikas on buildings, or using the words of the current president elect as an excuse to be violent and cruel?

If you haven’t seen that, that’s great. Maybe you’re in an epic country, or maybe you’re privileged and not affected by it. That’s awesome for you.

But 2016 was fucking awful, and not just because Carrie Fisher and David Bowie and so many others died.

It was awful because we watched our friends and family, or other people we thought we trusted, turn into monsters who showed how much they really hated us, and people like us. We watched love turn to hate, and it hurt.

We watched people who said they cared about us put all their energy behind someone who wants people like us to be removed, or hurt, or killed, or converted into something “normal.” 

Then, we watched that person get elected.

This is a scary time for a lot of us. So even if you’re not standing at the edge of 2017 with a knife and an emergency kit, remember that a lot of people are.

Be kind to each other, and listen. Welcome in the New Year, but with caution.

If conservative Christians acted like irrational SJWs

“christmas is cultural appropriation of christians”

"saying christmas doesnt have to be religious is christian erasure”

“okay but???? saying ‘oh my god’ is rly offensive to christians????????? stop contributing to microagression”

“THERE NEEDS TO BE MORE RELIGIOUS DIVERSITY IN MEDIA”

“um sweetie, saying gays can’t be christians is super homophobic and you need to reevaluate yourself”

“catholics can’t eat meat on friday, nobody else should because it might offend them. it’s literally disrespecting their culture to do otherwise.”

“if you don’t 100% support my christian lifestyle you literally hate me because its part of who i am. you cant ‘disagree’ with christianity like that. either you fully support it or you’re christianophobic”

“christians were actively persecuted by islams for centuries?????its totally reasonable to fear all muslims. they enslaved my people. check your Atheist privilege and consider the validity of your thoughts on matters that you have no right to contribute to. christians can’t be racist to islams because islams were/are the religion that oppressed us. we can be PREJUDICE but not racist. #GetWoke”

Today I realized that you’re never going to love me as more than a friend. We are never going to be a couple. We’ll never fall asleep together or cook together or plan our futures together because we will never be together. There will never be an us. To you, we will always be friends, best friends. Because even when things end with this girl and I get my hopes up and think “Maybe this is my shot” you’ll already have another girl chasing you before I even get off the couch. And I don’t blame you for that because all those girls are seeing the great guy I know you are, the guy I am in love with. But that doesn’t make it hurt any less. That doesn’t stop the heartbreak or the tears or the aching in my body. And it doesn’t make me love you any less. But oh god, I wish it did.
—  I have to learn to unlove you. 
Jealousy Starters

FOR THE JEALOUS

“ Do I have something to worry about? ”

“ Should I be concerned how close you and  ___ are? ”

“ Why do you spend so much time with them? ”

“ It looks like you have more fun with them than with me. ”

“ I’m NOT jealous. ”

“ Would you rather be with them? ”

“ I’ll just leave you two alone, I guess. ”

“ I’m not blind, you’ve been staring at them all night. ”

“ Why are they calling you at this time of night? ”

“ Could you stop flirting with them for one minute? ”

“ I don’t like the way they look at you. ”

“ I don’t like the way you look at them. ”

“ Do they know that you’re with me? ”

“ Is there someone else? ”

FOR THE OBJECT OF JEALOUSY

“ Oh my god, are you jealous? ”

“ You cannot possibly be this insecure! ”

“ They’re just a friend, I swear. ”

“ Don’t be ridiculous, I love you. ” 

“ What is going on with you lately? ”

“ ___ is just a friend. ”

“ I have NOT been flirting. ”

“ How long have you been stressing yourself out about this? ”

“ I’m allowed to have friends, you know. ”

“ What’s your problem? ”

“ There is NOTHING for you to worry about. ”

“ You know I love you. ”

“ What are you talking about! ”

me: i really need to sleep

my brain: there’s a place where we don’t have to feel unknown oh my god everybody needs to see this and every time that you call out you’re a little less alone i can’t stop watching this video seventeen years old if you only say the woooooord take five minutes this will make your day FROM ACROSS THE SILENCE YOUR VOICE IS HEEAARD OOOOOOOH share it with the people you love, repost the world needs to hear this a beautiful tribute OOOOOOOOH i know someone who really needed to hear this today so thank you evan hansen for doing what you’re doing OOOOOOOH i never met connor but coming up here reading everyone’s post someone will come runnning it’s so easy to feel alone that ooooooohhh evan is exactly right ohhhhhhh we’re not alone oooooooh none of us none of us none of us are alone like especially now oooooh with everything you hear in the news someone will come running like share repost thank you evan hansen for giving us a space to remember connor oooohhh someone will come running to find each other thank you evan hansen OOOOOHHH thank you evan hansen take you hoooooome OHHHHH OOOOOOH thank you evan hansen OOOOOOOOOH EVEN WHEN THE DARK COMES CRASHING THROUGH WHEN YOU NEED A FRIEND TO CARRY YOU WHEN YOU’RE BROKEN ON THE GROUND YOU WILL BE FOUND

8

Happy birthday to our lovely, talented, hardworking, beautiful, caring and sweet angel, Seolhyun. Thank you so much for all these years you’ve brought us happiness by being a member of AOA. Never forget you’re loved. You’ve stolen my heart two years ago and I have no intentions to stop loving you any time soon. I’ve no idea what future brings us, but whatever you decide to do, I’ll be by your side, supporting you.  ♡ [insp. 1, 2]

Things Draco has definitely said at some point
  • “Harry, if you don’t stop molesting me with your eyes I’m going to throw you out of a second story window”
  • “If one more person mentions my hair I swear to god I’m going to commit first degree murder in front of like a hundred witnesses”
  • “That shirt is atrocious and I am ashamed to even know of its existence”
  • “What the fuck made you think that was okay on any level?”
  • “I hate you all”
  • “No, you plebeian, I do not want one of your germ-infested free samples they’ve probably been on that tray for years anyway”
  • “Oh god it touched me I’m going to have to cut off that foot now”
  • “I’m not a cat and the next person to compare me to one will find out what it feels like to have my entire foot up their ass”
  • “Coffee is god’s second most important gift to mankind, with the first being me, of course. Harry, stop laughing”
  • “I can’t tell if that’s a picture of a barf stain or your dog”
  • “Why would you ever”
  • “This conversation has officially bored me to tears, so I’m going to go do something more entertaining, like watch grass grow. Draco out.”

“Fuck, Fred has been staring at me for like….3 minutes.  I’m just going to keep acknowledging the crowd and..uh…just pretending I don’t see him.

“yum, Taylor smells like parmesan.  he must be so cool.  he must have a dreamcast back at his place with Quake 3.  God I wanna hang out with him so bad and play some Quake 3.  I would get the rocket laun-oh my god he smells like CHICKEN parm.  Lord…this is making me Fredhead sweat and my neck won’t stop throbbing…”

I’M DAVE GROHL.  I-I’M DAVE GROHL.  I AM DAVE GROHL.  GROHL, DAVE GROHL.  YOU MIGHT REMEMBER ME FROM FOOB-FOO FIGHTERS!  I’M DAVE GROHL.  I GET IN AS MANY VH1 ALT ROCK DOCUMENTARIES AS I POSSIBLY CAN.