you have to stop oh my god

anonymous asked:

whenever I listen to from the dining table I always think of your anon that said they think harry is saying “why don’t you ever say what you wanna say?” to himself

This anon truly came for me that day.  I honestly haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

THere was also an anon I think about often, about MMITH.  About “running with the thieves” and the symbolism and all that…..oh my god I have to find it.

anonymous asked:

are u really drawing a pic of your shitty self insert and 2d? oh my fucking god STOP

yeah and i’m having a great ole fuckin time, you should try drawin yourself with a fav character of yours too, maybe it’ll help you chill the fuck out

anonymous asked:

NSFW HC req: Shy Evan x reader? Thanks!!!

- do you mean Evan normally
- poor boy is sooo shy when it comes to sex
- he doesn’t get sexually confident until weeks/months after you two start having it
- even still sometimes he gets overwhelmed and nervous
- the first time you guys kissed Evan could barely breathe for minutes
- the first time you made out he got so overwhelmed that you had to stop for minutes at times
- so the first time you had sex Evan could barely handle it
- just because you’re so beautiful and amazing and everything and he can’t believe he’s with you and oh my god he’s the opposite of those things
- he gets sooo shy doing sex the first few times
- silences any noises he makes
- compliments you every two seconds
- asks if everything is okay every three seconds
- he always gets flustered when you take off your clothes
- because you’re just so beautiful and perfect
- okay this are terrible but idk what else to say there we go

I love that God is canonically bisexual.

Voltron Quotes Inspired by Shit My Friends Have Said

Lance: I’m garbage but like ~Gucci~ garbage. Like I’m dead and disgusting inside, but I’m still beautiful as fuck. Try me bitch, I can and will steal your man.

Hunk: I’m sad so I’m eating my feelings, but eating so much makes me more sad which just causes me to eat more DO YOU SEE MY DILEMMA?!

Allura: I’m growing out my hair in hopes that one day I can use it to strangle my enemies

Keith: Do you think anyone has ever tried to fuck a knife? Hey don’t give me that look just hear me out!!

Shiro: Stop calling me the dad of the group! I just want the sweet release of death, I can’t take care of you children!! I mean it, stop-alright yeah okay, I’m the dad. Sure whatever. Daddy needs a drink.

Pidge: You know what I wanna hear? Stephen Hawking talking dirty. What?! Technology is sexy, don’t kink shame me!

Coran: Have you ever been attracted to facial hair? Like sure that guy is cute, but his beard? …damn.

*Bonus*

Slav: There’s a 47% probability that I’m pissing you off.

Zarkon: Oh god I hate them. Well, I don’t really hate them. I just want their cat. Do you think they’ll be pissed if I just stole it?

Lotor: If my hair gets messed up, I’m killing all of you and taking over the world. I spent three hours getting ready, and I will not hesitate to stab a bitch if they come too close.

i know everyone has talked about this but i just gotta… express myself with my own post because i really can’t get over the fact that keith full on stopped mid fucking battle to smile softly at lance like? keith??? who is usually 100% focused in battle??? this hotheaded, intense fight boy literally stopped. to. smile. at. lance… he continued to smile even while acxa ran right past him and didn’t fucking snap out of his lovesick gaze until she got in front of him. he seriously almost gets fucking blindsided by ezor and i’m just??? oh my god??? how long was he going to just keep smiling and staring at lance if he didn’t notice acxa??? would he have gotten kicked right in the face by ezor??? fucking hell, probably

keith honey, you might be just a little bit whipped

Imagine Bill letting it slip that you are dating during an interview.

Originally posted by skarsgardaddict

“So here we also have a photo of-” Jimmy paused, taking a look at the screen, just like Bill, and the entire audience that went crazy and started cheering and clapping the moment they saw you.

Bill himself chuckled as he took in the sight of you looking stunning as ever in your red dress, standing on your tiptoes even if you were wearing high heels to kiss his cheek; one hand on his chest and the other on your shoulder as he had an arm wrapped around your waist and the other cupping your cheek. 

He didn’t even know how they had managed to snap that photo because it wasn’t exactly in front of the cameras. You had mostly been standing on the side with his brothers, and great friends of yours, and he had rushed to you to get that good luck kiss. He didn’t expect there to be evidence of that so he was glad he’d kept himself from kissing you properly on the lips.

“(Y/n) and you.” he completed with a smile, glancing for a moment at the enthusiastic audience “You two-” he turned back to the actor “You two are great friends right? I’m- I’m just asking because that could, you know, be misinterpreted by some.” he motioned to the photo, giving a look at the audience and everybody laughed at that.

Keep reading

BUZZFEED UNSOLVED AU
  • So basically,,, Lance is loosely based off Shane and Keith is loosely based off Ryan
    • Tbh Shiro and Lance being in Shane’s role is interchangeable, sometimes Shiro will do an ep and sometimes Lance will do an ep (it’s mostly Lance tho)
    • Shiro will usually fill in if Lance has like, a project or big test and can’t do an episode
    • [Shiro voice] hey there, demons, its me ya boy
  • Pidge handles the camera/techie stuff and Hunk helps out with editing and such
  • Keith and Pidge are Big Conspiracy Theorists and they start a YouTube channel called “Voltron Unsolved”
    • Lance: What the fucks a Voltron
    • Keith: do you want in or not?
    • Lance: of fucking course I do
  • At first it was mostly them just fucking around in a forest or allegedly haunted hotel trying to find demons and stuff but it got really popular after, like, a year
    • people loved the dynamic between Lance, Keith, Pidge, and Hunk and Shiro and Matt, when they joined in sometimes 
  • there’s 5 different Mothman episodes bc Keith is this close to catching him
  • Lance, in a panicked voice: something just grabbed my ass
  • One time they couldn’t find Shiro so theres just like 20 hours of footage of Pidge, Hunk, Keith, and Lance going around town looking for him and speculating on where he could be
    • Lance: thE COCO GOT HIM 
    • Keith: mothman is real and he abducted my brother behind a Denny’s
    • Pidge: what’s up gamers Shiro was fuckin possesed by a ghost
    • Hunk: oh my god Shiro died and we have to learn necromancy to resurrect him
      • turns out he was just hanging out with Matt lol
      • Matt: and I would’ve gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling kids!
      • Pidge: Matthew you are twenty eight, stop acting like a child
  • Keith: so apparently the spirits in this hotel are excessively violent and aggressive
  • Lance, from the shadows, lobbing a vase at Keith: YEET, BITCH
  • Pidge’s running gag in the show is that she says some variation of “I’m gonna call a fucking exorcist” whenever Lance fucks around in a haunted building or something
    • the funny thing is though she never actually does until they’re reviewing footage from when they visited the Lizzie Boren house and as Keith is talking to the picture of Lizze, they hear Keith’s name repeated many times in a voice not belonging to any of their’s
      • Pidge deadass calls an exorcist
  • Keith, turning around when a chair falls over: what was that?
  • Pidge: dunno. some bullshit
  • [Lance voice] Hey ghouls! The boys are here!
  • Hunk gets scared easily but he’s also really curious so tbh he’s probably the first to go poking around at some spooky shit
    • Pidge: what’s that red stain on the dresser huNK NO-
  • Lance: If you slit my throat tonight I’m gonna have a hard time forgiving you for that 
  • Keith, wheezing: okay are you going to haunt me in the afterlife then?
  • Lance: what? No ghosts aren’t real 
  • Pidge, zooming in on Lance’s distressed face: Local man very anxious, tune in at 11 for more
  • Shiro tries, really, really hard not to get any of them killed
    • not by like, the ghosts or demons or whatever. He lets Pidge, Lance, Hunk and Keith deal with that spooky stuff. He just doesn’t want the landlady of the haunted motel to murder Lance for banging on the walls and yelling “hey demons come out come out wherever the fuck you are!”
  • Lance: where the hell are we gonna get a Bigfoot costume in the middle of June?
  • Hunk: Target is having a five for one sale on brown rugs and I have a bunch of duct tape left over from band night?
  • Lance: Hunk you are a GENIUS
  • Keith loves investigating the paranormal and all but he gets freaked out when Lance starts fucking around with the demons or ghosts
    • Lance: ayyyy I’m getting a selfie with this ghost, this is going on the snap
    • Lance: there could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing behind you and you wouldn’t even know it
    • Lance: hey Keith the demons want you to blaze it lol
  • Lance likes to tease about Keith believing in ghosts but he will never let anyone know that something brushed up against his foot while it was hanging off the bed when he was lying down and now he keeps a bag of salt in his pocket at all times
    • Hunk: oh my god we don’t have any salt to make a salt circle we’re all going to die a painful and excruciating
    • Keith: Hunk calm down-
    • Lance, screaming and grabbing handfuls of salt from his pockets: NOT TODAY GHOSTS NOT T O D A Y
  • [while on the Queen Mary] Lance: Keith what if we’re in the same spot one of the scenes in titanic was filmed?! What if I’m standing where Kate Winslet stood?!
    • Lance: those lucky ghost bastards, getting to hang out when Titanic was being filmed here
    • Keith: … the people who died here did so in a horrific and unimaginable way
    • Lance: yeah but they probably got to stare at Leonardo DiCaprio when he was soaking wet so who’s the real winner here?
  • Pidge, zooming in on Keith and Lance sitting in the tub: two bros sittin in a hot tub… five feet apart cause they’re not gay
  • Pidge: ya aint shit ghost!
  • Lance, banging on the windows: ya aint SHIT
  • Pidge: ya just. like. ya FATHER.
being best friends with jungkook

part 2    part 3

Originally posted by nnochu

  • you and jungkook met through your mutual friend jimin when both of them were just trainees.
  •  it would first start because both of you liked making fun of jin, you guys still do.  
  • both of you would be very competitive and make small bets about every stupid little thing. 
  •  “5 bucks says i can fit more straws in my mouth than you.” 
  •  “jungkook, that is the stupidest thing you’ve ever said. i, of course, can fit more in my mouth than you.” 
  •  both of you began to shove straws in your mouth, but one hits the back of his throat, making him spit them all out on the floor. causing you to laugh and all of yours fall out too. 
  •  suga would walk in, look at jungkook coughing, you laughing your head off, all of the straws in the floor and just walk away, not wanting to know what the fuck just happened. 
  •  both of you would be mischievous little shits and cause little fights between the other members. 
  •  “jin hyung, not that me and y/n heard anything, but jimin said that he is stealing eatjin and turning it into eatjimin.” 
  •  “WHAT?! that is my show, that little fucker.” 
  •  going out together for breakfast was a regular thing, you guys wouldn’t even need the menu at some point, just always getting the same thing over and over again. 
  •  taking small naps together would happen at times, too. your head would be on his chest, and his arms wrapped around your fragile body. 
  •  the boys would always take pictures of you guys sleeping and tease you about it later. both of you wouldn’t care about the teasing but would about the fact that they were taking pictures of you and being creeps.
  •  SO MANY INSIDE JOKES BETWEEN YOU GUYS 
  •  YOU AND JUNGKOOK WOULD HAVE THIS THING WHERE YOU WOULD JUST MAKE THESE WEIRD NOISES ALL THE TIME AND THE BOYS WOULD WANT TO KILL BOTH OF YOU 
  •  “pop”
  •  “blooup”
  •  “brrrrraaa”
  •  "WOULD YOU GUYS STOP OH MY GOD" 
  •  making fun of eachother would be an absolute 
  •  nicknames would also be necessary. 
  •  "hey bunny teeth come here!“ 
  •  "bye babe!" 
  •  "jungkookie!”
  •  "what’s up kid?“
  • you guys told eachother everything. except one little thing that happened between you and taehyung. you guys were playing truth and dare and he got dared to kiss you. it didn’t mean anything, but you guys swore you would never tell jungkook 
  •  one day jungkook would call you early in the morning, asking you if you wanted to walk around the city with him.
  •  you would say no but he would beg and beg you to, finally making you get up and meet him at a park. 
  •  you guys would walk everywhere, just talking and having the usual fun between you two. 
  •  it would become mid afternoon quickly, you guys deciding to walk to your apartment and hang out there for a while. 
  •  soon, jungkook would leave, needing to go back to the dorm and talk with the boys about work. 
  •  hugging you goodbye, he left, making you realize how tired you actually were. 
  • you would crawl into bed and pass out for a few hours, only being woke up by your phone ringing.
  • 4 missed calls from lil kookie
  • 6 messages frrom lil kookie
  •  y/n i’m drunk and i hate you 
  •  pick up your phone
  • i never want to see you again
  •  i can’t believe you kissed my best friend
  •  i have always loved you and this is how you treat me
  •  i’ve loved you since the first time we met 
  •  you checked the time on your phone; 2:30 am
  •  then your phone started ringing 
  •  lil kookie is calling you
2

smart and smooth way to avoid giving speech by choi seunghyun

"I never thought of it that way"

For context, I’ve been running a game of Rocket Age and we just got through the 3rd episode. One of my players has Psi Powers and a high convince skill, consistently using them to mess with the status quo or other players. The players are on a rescue mission and have just boarded a enemy ship.

Me: Alright the turn order is loaded, PSI you’re the first one out the door. What do you do?

PSI: I find the first guard and I convince him to stop being a bad guy.

Me: Okay you’re gonna need a high roll for that.

PSI proceeds to roll his dice and get a critical hit.

Me: Oh my god!

Other Players: [Laughing Furiously]

PSI: YES! Alright, “Have you ever thought about not being one of the bad guys?”

Me: Okay fine! [Clears throat], the guard looks over to you and ponders it for a moment before saying “I never thought of it that way” before shedding his uniform.

Other Players: [Still laughing]

The thing that really got me was that not only had PSI once done this before, but he got the exact same roll he did last time and used these exact same words. Clearly someone needs nerfing in the future.

first impressions - peter parker x reader

w/c: 838

warnings: none!!

Could you do a peter x stark!reader where he comes over to get a look around and the ( homeschooled ) reader walks in in a croptop and tony complains like “ you know I don’t like you wearing that shirt bc it’s too ” and she interrupts notrlly caring “ revealing Ik ” and grabs an apple and turns to a nervous peter and says “ sup hot stuff ” and bites it then winks and leaves ? You can finish the rest. Sorry it’s so specific ❤️ 😂

a/n: i got this request ages ago and i really loved it but i just got the motivation to do it so here it is! i hope you all enjoy!

Originally posted by hardyness

To say Peter was nervous to visit the Avengers compound was an understatement. Especially because this time he would actually be getting the tour, not just brought in for five minutes to be offered a job as an Avenger. As he rode in the car with Happy on the way there, a million thoughts rushed through his head. What if I break something? What if I go into an area that I shouldn’t go into? What if I accidentally say something rude to one of the Avengers? And then, as if his anxiety couldn’t get any worse, he remembered that Mr. Stark had a daughter that lived at the compound: you.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

as long as we're talking about stiles as hale bait, can i just say that i've always wanted to find an au fic in which stiles finds out that he accidentally has dated/slept with like half the hale family? like he and derek meet and start dating and it's totally love and then derek takes him home and oh shit. there's his first highschool girlfriend who things ended awkwardly with aka cousin malia. who has her mom's last name since her parents never got married.

and then cora comes downstairs and oh hey cora! awesome. they dated for a bit in college but there wasn’t much of a spark so it only last a few months and then they actually became total bros. like he’s still really good friends with her? he probably should have made the connection between hale and hale, but he met cora at berkeley and she doesn’t talk about her family that much so it didn’t occur to him. still this is getting kind of weird? and then there’s “cousin” (packmate) erica who stiles

had a brief friends with benefits kind of thing with last year. no big, right? and then oh shit why does that older guy sitting next to derek’s parents and leering at him look so familiar? or right, he met him at a club one time when he was in between significant other’s and they hooked up in the bathroom. and apparently he’s the father of his first girlfriend. awwwkward. stiles has never felt so uncomfortable and confused in his life. why is this happening to him?

what is up with this family and him? is he some kind of hale-sexual or something? he’d been operating under the assumption that he was bi, but apparently all the people he’s ever been attracted to are part of this family. derek meanwhile has wrapped himself jealously around stiles and is glaring at everyone is his family including his parents (who honestly do not have any designs on their son’s boyfriend) and laura. who has not stopped laughing since they figured out what was going on.


I need to read a long fic on this! 

Because at first Stiles is like, “Derek, are you punking me?” 

And Derek is all, “What?” 

“Are you punking me?” Stiles eyes grow wide. “Oh my god. Is this an intervention? Do I do something weird in bed and you all got together to tell me to stop it?” 

“Do you do something weird in bed.” It’s not even a question. Derek has no idea what the fuck is going on at this point. 

“Derek! These people are not your family.” 

“They are,” Derek says. 

“Oh. My. God.” Stiles is three shades paler than usual. “Derek, I have slept with all of these people.” 

“What?” It’s Derek’s turn to go pale. 

Stiles points them all out. “Malia, hi, haven’t see you since high school. Nice blonde girl from the bakery whose name escapes me now and I am so, so sorry, hello.” He swallows and his throat clicks. “Hot older dude from the club.” 

“Peter,” the man says, extending his hand. He flashes a wicked smile. “Peter Hale. I’m Malia’s father.” 

Stiles squeaks. 

Derek bats his hand away and growls. 

“Um, Cora, yep, really should have put that together, I guess,” Stiles says, raking his fingers through his hair. “Um, Isaac, right? From my political science class last year. And…” His jaw drops when Laura grins at him. 

“Laura lives in New York,” Derek growls. “She literally lives in New York.” 

“Second stall in the Terminal Three bathroom at LAX, right?” Laura asks, and gives Stiles the finger guns. 

“Oh god,” Stiles says. 

All in all, it’s one of Derek’s most interesting family dinners. Alan Deaton thinks it has something to do with their wolves being drawn to Stiles, in knowing that he’d be a good fit for the pack. Stiles is mortified, but Derek’s surprisingly okay with it. 

He’s just glad that when his parents finally made it downstairs that Stiles didn’t recognise them too… 

He takes quite a lot of comfort in that, actually. 

OTP Meeting on a Train:

1. “Can we switch seats? If I sit backwards, I’ll get sick.”

2. “Miss, take my seat. You don’t have to stand.”

3. “Oh my god, I slept through my stop.”

4. “He’s punching tickets? I snuck on without a ticket.”

5. “Is that noise normal?”

6. “Excuse me, can I make a call on your phone? I lost mine at the station.”

7. “Hey, sorry, you dropped your glove. It’s cold, you don’t want to be losing it.”

8. “Umm…I don’t know how to say this…but I caught you staring and I was wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee?”

9. “Marie? Oh sorry, I thought you were my sister.”

10. “Hey, man! Don’t push women like that!”

11. “Sir, we’ll have you step off for security reasons.”

13. “You have a bloody nose? I have tissues in my purse.”

14. *it’s crowded and Person A falls into Person B’s lap*

15. *problem with the tracks and they’re stuck together until it’s fixed.*

16. *both late for work, try fitting through the door at the same time. Laugh, blow off work, get lunch*

megzico  asked:

A scene where keith discovers lance has sweet aerial dance skills and more flexible than previously thought

Haha ok this is gonna be short and dumb. 

Keith holds the small tablet in his hand. His grin is impossible to suppress. He beams down at the screen, watching his teammates… his friends… perform in front of a hugs crowd. He groans as Shiro recites some stiff lines, and can’t help but cackle when poor Hunk falls down the stairs. 

“I don’t sound like that.” He murmurs when Allura dramatically pouts and does something reckless, all whilst the other paladins call her ‘Keith’. Crowds whoop and cheer in the audience as Pidge drives Green over them and creates a ceiling of vines. 

“Keith, we need to go…” Kolivan’s voice sounds just behind him. Keith turns over his shoulder to see him scowling.

“What are you watching?” He raises an eyebrow skeptically. Keith remembers the device in his hands.

“Oh!” He grapples to hold it up. “It’s the Voltron coalition performance. They broadcast them now.”

Kolivan’s eyebrows knit together, but his curiosity gets the better of him. He steps forward to watch over Keith’s shoulder.

“I could hear you laughing. Are they funny?”

“Not on purpose.” Keith chuckles. “I think I just find it funny because I know them.”

The black lion flies across the screen, holding its wings out wide and roaring loudly.

“Very showy.” Kolivan comments.

“Yeah but… it’s working?” Keith shrugs. Kolivan nods. 

They stop talking as the Red lion becomes visible. The camera zooms in as she opens her mouth and a figure emerges. 

“Ladies, Gentleman, and mono-gendered individuals! Put your appendages together to welcome Lover-boy Laaaaance!” A booming voice sounds over the stadium.

“Oh my god, what have they done….” But Keith doesn’t get a chance to finish his thought before he lets out a quiet gasp. He can’t remember anything he was just about to say, because out of Red descends Lance… in a perfect spread eagle.

“Holy…” He unconsciously leans closer to the monitor. Lance stars to twirl on the rope, expertly moving it between his ankles to create an anchorage point. He moves his body fluidly, but Keith knows how much core strength each movement must take.

“That looks difficult.” Kolivan remarks.

“Extremely.” Keith is ashamed of how breathless he sounds. His jaw slackens again as Lance holds himself out to the side and widens his long legs into a split. He rotates slowly, giving the audience a view from every angle. Keith feels heat pool in his cheeks and abdomen. 

“That’s the blue one, right?” Kolivan asks. Keith wordlessly nods.

“He helped lead the mission on Puiga. He’s a good fighter.”

“Uh huh.”

“I liked him. He tried to get the Puigan people to accept us.” Kolivan smirks as he stares at Keith’s expression. Open mouthed and unblinking.

“He would make a suitable mate.” He claps Keith on the shoulder. The sudden contact brings Keith away from his gawking.

“w…w…what?” He stammers. Lance slides down the rope and runs off stage. Keith turns off the tablet completely, feeling he’s seen enough.

“You heard me.” Kolivan begins to walk away. “Maybe it’s good you came to us. Less distractions.”

Keith sighs. He rises to his feet and begins to follow Kolivan towards their chambers. 

“Lance isn’t a distraction…. he’s my…”

“Keith,” Kolivan stops and Keith has to stop mid-stride to prevent colliding into him. The large Galra sighs. He places two large hands on Keith’s shoulder and levels him with a serious expression. 

“The blades have continued for thousands of years because we value our mission above ourselves. We are expendable because we refrain from partnerships or others that will connect us to this life.” He takes a clawed hand under Keith’s chin and lifts his gaze.

“Wanting a mate does not make you weak. But it is a luxury we cannot afford.” His voice is gentle, but stern.

“I expect that you will return to your team for this reason. And I will not be disappointed when you do.”

“I want to help…!”

“I know.” Kolivan releases his grip. “But if you were to leave…” He thinks of mentioning Lance, but refrains. Keith is young, and confused, and probably has no idea what kind of expression he wore when he watched Lance on that screen. 

“I would approve.” He nods. 

“I’m not…!” Keith jogs to keep up.

“We won’t discuss this further.” Kolivan doesn’t pause in his stride. “Now go to sleep. We have a big day tomorrow.”

And with that Keith is left alone. He hangs in the empty hallway confused and dumbstruck, with nothing but heat in his gut and images of Lance’s long legs spreading open swirling through his mind. Keith lets out a frustrated grunt and punches the wall. He doubts he’ll be getting any sleep that night.  

White sheets & purple kisses

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2,032
Warnings: Smut - NSFW – Sexual themes, inappropriate language, nudity, handjob, fingering, squirting, unprotected sex - please guys if you’re going to be intimate with someone, please use protection. Also if you’re underage, please don’t read this.
Author’s Note: Hi guys, I don’t even know what to say about this. I think this is the most smuty thing I’ve ever wrote ahah so all I can say is I hope you enjoy it. This is also for @marvelous-fvcks writing challenge. I hope you like it! I did my best. And please guys, tell me what you think of it. I’m so nervous for some reason ahaha.
Prompt Word: Hickey


Keep reading

internet friend!tom headcanons

for my girls over at spiderjizz, especially ruby who came up with this and let me steal the idea for this, larb you rubs!
tags: @grant-valdes-holland @sunrisehunny @spideyboys @lil-spidey @peterletmebeanavengerparker @captainswriting @quacksoff @spideryr00s @spideyyss @tomhollandisthicc @underoosie @marvelsdaughter @ladysnowren @spideyyparker @rooyeun @focused-on-holland @toms-spidey

  • okay so to start you had no idea it was tom to begin with
    • his username was “marvels-biggest-fanboyxx”
    • and he obviously didn’t go by tom but by his middle name stanley instead
    • there was never really a tip-off that it was tom
  • you just knew whoever was behind this screen made some badass edits
    • seriously they were some of the best gif edits you had seen
  • you also knew he posted some photos and videos of tom that no one had really seen before
    • “where’d you get that picture of tom? i’ve never seen it before?”
    • “oh i got it from a friend.”
    • “i’ve never seen that video before, where’d you find it?”
    • “i had to search through a lot of youtube videos”
  • anyways, you messaged whoever this stanley was because he seemed cool and you were really just looking for friends
  • you would have been building this friendship for months
    • he had basically become your best friend on this website
    • you send “stanley” pictures of tom all. the. time.
    • “snslsnsos did you see tom’s hair in his latest ig story like stab me in the fAcE”
    • “ahahahahah yeah same”
    • “tom had such a nice ass i wonder what it feels like”
    • and tom is laughing at this, thinking “real nice. it feels real nice.”
    • but you just get “i bet it feels really nice” in response
  • aside from him being your best friend, you don’t know much about him personally
  • and you totally respect his privacy about that
  • and one day “stanley” finally asks if you wanted to skype
  • and you of course jump at the opportunity because you had become so close to each other
    • you told him practically everything
    • he told you everything he could without giving away the fact that he was actually tom
  • you swap skype users and very soon after you call him
  • and you’re sitting there waiting for it to connect and wondering why the hell you’re so nervous about this
    • he’s one of your best friends for crying out loud
  • anyways it connects and you don’t see his face instead you see Tessa
  • at first you’re thinking “stanley what the hell”
  • and then it clicks like “wait a minute, i know that dog” and your eyes widen and the only thought in your brain is “no way, this must be a joke”
  • tom them pops onto the screen, holding tessa all “hello darling!”
    • mainly because he knows how much you love it when he says that
    • and you definitely ranted to him about how badly you wanted him to call you that
  • you just kind of sit there somewhat in shock going on and on about how “this is a joke. this is seriously a joke. there is no way i am on a skype call with tom holland”
  • and tom just laughs and says “it’s not a joke, darling, it’s actually me”
  • and you’re feeling so flustered and slightly embarrassed because you had basically talked about him all the time to him
  • lots and lots of blushing from you
    • tom finds it completely adorable
  • after your first initial call you guys become skype buddies
    • you’d try to call nearly everyday when you could
    • it took you ages for you to stop blushing at the SIGHT of him
  • it took a while for you to be calm around him and not blush every time he looked at you
    • tom found this absolutely adorable
  • you soon realize you don’t really have much to talk about
  • mainly because all you did was talk about him with him
  • so you talk about spider-man and all the other avengers because he’s such a marvel nerd
  • you take quizzes online to see who’s better and smarter with their avengers trivia
    • there’s lots of teasing afterwards from the winning party
  • after a while, tom gives you his phone number which is a huge step for him
  • just so he can call you and have late night calls over the phone
    • you always want to talk but you don’t want your phone bill to be absolutely insane
    • “tom i really wanna talk but my phONE BILL”
    • “pfft i’ll pay for it now please just stay on the phone with me, i wanna talk to you”
  • you guys fall asleep on the phone quite frequently because neither of you want to hang up
  • okay and hear me on this
  • tom would definitely be the type to surprise you by paying a visit to your hometown
  • and not telling you a single thing about it
  • he just sits and waits for you to figure it out
  • you’d be sitting at home in your pajamas having only woken up a few hours ago
  • and tom would skype you while he’s walking around your city/town
  • and you’re just casually talking until “hey wait a second I KNOW THAT THE CAFE”
  • he just laughs at you and probably winks
  • you’re in a slight bit of denial and don’t think twice about it before running out on the streets in your pajamas
    • which typically consist of spandex shorts and a hoodie most nights
    • it didn’t matter if it was two miles away you ran the whole entire way there
  • and your first real life meeting you run into him, knocking him backwards because you had been running so fast
  • you just stand there in front of him in your pajamas, red in the face and out of breath with your hands on your knees
    • “i just ran…two miles…to see if you…were actually here”
    • he laughs because there’s his adorable girl in front of him in her pjs who ran into town just to see him
    • he feel pretty flattered
  • it’s a little awkward though
    • he goes for a hug and you go for a handshake
    • you both kind of awkwardly laugh and switch the roles
    • more awkward laughing ensues because we’re good friends but we’ve never actually met in person before oH nO
    • but he just pulls you into a tight hug and your cheeks flush and you realize that he smells really good
  • tom offers to talk you out to breakfast in your pajamas
    • it’s pretty adorable to say the least
    • he definitely makes a comment about them
    • “by the way i love the outfit darling”
    • you just sit there pretty mortified
    • “alaodjsosnSHUT UP TOM”
  • and after he takes you to breakfast he begs you to show him around
    • “please y/n i really wanna see where you grew up”
    • “tom”
    • “please please please”
    • “tom i’m iN mY pAJAMaS”
    • “i don’t care, cmon please”
    • “!!!no i’m at least going back home to get actual pants”
  • and toms pretty confused and he’s like “what am i supposed to do then?”
  • “you come with me doofus”
  • he’s pretty shook because he actually gets to see where you live
    • even if it is for two seconds while you change
  • you get to your house and go to change completely forgetting about the old baby, school, and family photos hanging on the walls
  • he’s completely enthralled by them all
    • “aw y/n look at you! you’re so cute and tiny”
    • “jsksl thOMAS NO STOP”
  • you’re completely mortified because all of  those are the worst photos of your entire existence
  • and when you actually change you have to physically drag him out of the house
    • “aw but i wanted to see more pictures”
    • “you can see more later”
    • that’s a lie you don’t ever want him seeing old pictures of you again
  • the whole time you’re showing him around he never stops smiling
  • because you’re actually glowing when you explain things and tell him your different childhood stories
  • and then you suddenly remember that time you talked about how nice his ass is
    • you just stop in the middle of the sidewalk and tom’s looking at you so confused
    • “oH mY GOD IM SORRY ABOUT THAT ASS COMMENT I MADE BEFORE”
    • he just sits there and laughs at you
    • “it’s okay love i promise”
    • you’re still mortified by it
  • so!! much!! blushing!!
    • not just from you but from him too
  • overall you spend the entire day together creating so many new memories and inside jokes
    • you take lots of silly pictures together
    • and of each other
  • you’re pretty bummed when he has to leave to go back home
    • “do you have to leave?”
    • “unfortunately love”
    • “i’ll miss you this was fun, next time warn me though”
    • and he laughs and nods and promises he will
  • “i’m serious though i’m really going to miss you”
  • “i know darling i’ll miss you too”
  • and wow i need tom as my internet friend right now

Just joined my first in-person DnD group. The group is a miss-quoting Human Cleric, a lost Half-Orc Druid,  a disowned Dragonborn Rogue, a social inept Half-Elf Wizard and a “I’m not small” Halfling Bard (me). We’re doing our first session, and here are some of my favourite lines from the night

During the Getting-To-Know-Each-Other-Stage
Rogue: Well, as you can see, I am a Silver Dragonborn and I’m sure you all know exactly what that means-
Bard: You came in second place in the race-pool? Gold’s the best, right?
Rogue: I-What? NO! It means I can blow an icey flame-like substance from my mouth that is very cold
Bard: So…it’s ice and not flame-like at all?
Rogue:…You’re smaller than the lunches back home



Bartender: While all your boys argue, if there’s anything you need, you let me know little missy *winks at the Wizard*
Wizard: Uh…
Wizard: Guys, I think he’s flirting with you. I don’t know which though. I’m not sure they swing that way Mr. Bartender.
Druid: Err…*slides a gold piece to the Bartender* C'mon Wizard, we’ve got work to do, thank you Barkeep



Druid: As a Druid, Nature talks to me
Cleric: Fascinating, my God talks to me too my brother
Bard: Wait, you two are brothers?
Druid and Cleric in unison: What, no
Bard:…I hope for your parents sake, it’s the same father, I think that’d be easier on the other parent
Druid: NOT brothers!

Cleric: As Bill Gates once said; I have a dream, that one day, Silver Dragonborns and Gold Dragonborns
Rogue: I’m going to stop you right there



Druid: Oh, a Church. Ya, Churches aren’t really my thing
Cleric: Come, brother, it will be fine. One trip wont hurt you
Bard: I thought you two weren’t brothers
Cleric: We are not blood brothers, but we are all brothers and sisters under our Creators eyes
Druid: Not even that kind of brothers
Bard: I’m really confused and I’m still hoping you share a father and not a mother