you have to meet my mother to understand

it’s not going to be you.
the first and only time I ever asked for you to make anything with me (a cake), you said “that’s something people in relationships do”.
in that moment i laughed out loud.
you heard it over the phone line and you grew silent.
it isn’t going to be you.
because you aren’t the kind of courageous I need.
because you don’t like adventure half as much as I do.
because you don’t know the weight of words.
you don’t understand what’s important to me.
we have different definitions of love.
your idea of what makes a good person, isn’t the same as mine.
it isn’t going to be you.
so you never meet my mother and my father never asks your name.
it isn’t going to be you.
because you aren’t what i need and because I’m not what you want.
I’m too soft spoken.
kinder than you had thought possible.
Too forgiving for your taste.
it isn’t going to be you.
because you don’t know how to love certainty.
the first and only time I ever asked you what you wanted from me, you said you didn’t know.
So it isn’t going to be you.
because that was the first night since I was 14, where I cried the whole way home. I am tired of tiptoeing around landmines.
I am tired of being the one who follows behind you.
I am tired of having to be the bigger person, and making myself smaller because of it.
I am important.
I have so much to offer to a person.
the next time around,
it isn’t going to be you.
but someone with a bigger heart.
and less shaky hands.
someone who isn’t afraid of love.
it isn’t going to be you.
i don’t know how to be sorry about it.
you don’t deserve me like that.

You’ve grown into a fine warror, my son

Mom…

The moment Keith and his biological mother finally meet [after minutes of fretting of the thought that she might not like him, pfft!]. Reunion full of joy and purring galore ^^

In all honesty, the moment after this: The team may be fretting and wondering if they’d have to look for a new Red Paladin [cause they think Keith may want to stay with the resistance to be with his parents]

And it’s just this big moment of reluctant understanding when they don’t find him anywhere and Lance starts getting pissy [outta hide a broken heart, lol] and ranting about how hypocritical Keith is for abandoning Voltron, yada yada yada

And lol and behold, they find Keith is the common room sipping on some space juice like “jeez, what took you guys so long?” and they’re like “What are you doing here???” “Uhhh, Voltron? The team???

otp language aus

i’m really feeling the different language aus recently and figured i’d shove all the ideas in my head into one place, so behold! language aus for ur otp:

~“you’re having a conversation in a language i’m fluent in and you just called me beautiful without realising I understand every word you’re saying, and you’re pretty easy on the eyes yourself so hello there

~alternatively, “you’re having a conversation in a language i’m fluent in and you just called me what i’m pretty sure was an insult without realising I understand every word you’re saying, fight me

~“i’m meeting your family for the first time and tried to learn your first language to impress them but i really suck at languages. stop laughing at me. i think i called your mother a donkey when i was trying to compliment her cooking. fuck.”

~“i said i spoke fluent [insert language here] on my CV to get this job and suddenly they want me to actually converse with a client next week, so i need you to teach me like right now. get some coffee. this is gonna be a long week”

~“there’s only two of us in this language class, but i’m only here because there was a rumour the lecturer gives out free food whilst you’re actually trying to learn. tell you what, you do all the talking, i spy some croissants which demand my attention”

~“i’m learning your language to surprise you, and why exactly does this book say that your pet name for me actually means ‘small monkey’???”

~“i already thought you were attractive but then you started speaking french and bonjour”

~“i don’t know what you’re saying, you don’t know what i’m saying, so apparently we’re playing charades to figure out what the fuck is going on”

~”teach me how to swear, i want to call my flatmate a shit without them knowing”

Exo Reaction to Finding Out Their Girlfriend is Fluent in Korean/Mandarin Later in their Relationship

Baekhyun:

“I am nervous about my mom wanting to meet her though,” Baekhyun said on the phone to Chanyeol while he watched his girlfriend chop up vegetables for dinner. 

“I am sure your mother and I will get along,” his girlfriend said to him absentmindedly.

“How long have you been able to understand Korean?” he said with widened eyes. He heard Chanyeol’s fit of laughter on the other end of the line.

“Since before we met,” she said shyly as she sucked in her lips, pressing her mouth in a line. 

“But I’ve talked about your butt in front of you before.” 

Chanyeol:

“I think I am going to bring her somewhere for her birthday,” Chanyeol told Sehun casually as he looked at his girlfriend, watching her smile. “Like I trip to some place.” 

“She can speak Korean,” Sehun said as he shook his head. 

“What?” Chanyeol asked as he looked towards his girlfriend; suddenly her smile looked much more guilty. “What?”

Chen:

“You have to stop talking about your pranks right in front of her,” Luhan told him as he crossed his arms. “She always catches you…it’s clear she understands Korean.”

His girlfriend began to laugh at him and he realised that the entire time they had been dating she had been pulling a joke on him by not saying anything. He laughed as he shook his head, half amused and half embarrassed. 

Kai:

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked her as he stared at her in disbelief. 

She shrugged and then twisted her mouth as she looked up at him. “Well, it encouraged you to learn how to speak English, didn’t it?” 

Kris:

*gif*

Kyungsoo:

She wasn’t even sure why she had neglected to tell him. It had never come up and she didn’t want to interrupt his conversations to let Kyungsoo know she understood and spoke Korean and soon a year had passed. It was too late to admit it without looking like an asshole. 

But then she fucked up. 

It had been a simple conversation she overheard between he and his mother about her intentions for him. He seemed to be defending her while he spoke on the phone, but her mind acted before she did and she insisted outloud she was not a person with a weird obsession with him. He just looked at her, his face telling her she had been caught. 

Lay:

When his girlfriend said something to him in Mandarin he sat there for a moment, trying to remember if she ever said she could speak it. He figured he must have forgotten but didn’t want to admit he forgot something so important. 

Luhan:

He felt like someone had pulled the rug out from under his feet. If she spoke Mandarin that meant he had understood all the times he spoke about her in front of her, which  meant she had understand when he said things of a less appropriate nature. He looked to the side and saw Xiumin smiling like an idiot, which meant he knew and neglected to tell him. 

Sehun:

“Good, that means I don’t have to speak English all the time anymore,” Sehun said, his voice giving away that he was being lazy. 

Suho:

He was happy when he found out she could actually understand him and immediately began to whisper sweet things to her in Korean. He didn’t really care that she had hid it, he figured she had her reasons. He was just happy that she was being honest about it now. 

Tao:

“You mean you have been making me speak English this entire time,” he said as he looked at her judgmentally, “when I could have been speaking Mandarin.” 

“At least your English is better because of it,” she said as she smiled at him sweetly. 

Xiumin:

He thought he might have misheard or imagined it when she spoke to him in fluent Korean, but then he registered the smile on her face. It became clear to him that she had been playing some kind of joke on him. 

“Excuse me,” he said as he leaned towards her. He smiled as she leaned forwards and pecked his lips. “Okay, forgiven.” 

i hope the haters read this

P.s. sorry for all the asks i haven’t answered. I’m mentally exhausted right now.
Anyway.
Since I keep getting stupid ass asks hating on me and my people, well here I’ll rant.
You’re going to fucking get it, haters.
First of all, I am not fucking straight.
STRAIGHT = HETEROROMANTIC HETEROSEXUAL
ASEXUAL = ASEXUAL. NOT HETEROSEXUAL. THEREFORE NOT STRAIGHT.
LET ME SAY IT IN TWO LANGUAGES SO U ASSHOLES UNDERSTAND:
IF YOU’RE SO DAMN STUPID THAT YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND THAT, THEN YOU HAVE A FUCKING ASSHOLE AS YOUR BRAIN

SI SON TAN FUCKING PENDEJOS QUE NO PUEDEN ENTENDER ESO, TIENEN UN FUCKING CULO COMO CEREBRO :)

Second, IF YOU ARE NOT ME, IF YOU WERE NOT BORN FROM MY MOTHER’S VAGINA AND YOUR NAME ISN’T YAS AND YOU’RE NOT AGENDER HETEROROMANTIC ASEXUAL, DON’T FUCKING TELL ME I HAVEN’T BEEN OPPRESSED BECAUSE GUESS WHAT, YOU KNOW SHIT ABOUT ME. YOU HAVEN’T LIVED 17 YEARS IN THIS BODY, MEETING THE HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE I’VE MET, HEARING EVERY SINGLE WORD THEY SAY.
“You don’t get kille-”
SHUT THE FUCK UP. OPPRESSION ISN’T A FUCKING CONTEST. IF YOU GET OPPRESSED IN THE SLIGHTEST WAY EVER IT’S STILL OPPRESSION
WOW WHAT A SURPRISE ONLY DUMB ASSES WOULDN’T KNOW THAT.
OH RIGHT!!! THERE’S PLENTY OF THEM IN TUMBLR :)
THIRD. YOU DON’T GET TO TELL ME THAT I CAN’T CALL MYSELF QUEER. ANYONE IN THE LGBTQIAP COMMUNITY IS FREE TO DO SO.
I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU’VE BEEN MORE OPPRESSED THAN HET ACES
AGAIN, IN SPANISH: ME IMPORTA UN CARAJO :)
WE CAN GET 0.1% OPPRESSED AND IT’S STILL OPPRESSION. OKAY, DIPSHITS? GOOD.
Fourth.
DON’T FUCKING COME TO MY ASK TO MAKE UNNECESSARY DIPSHIT COMMENTS ON THE HET ACE COMMUNITY. JUST FUCKING UNFOLLOW AND GO SUCK A DICK. Nah a dick is too nice for y'all. GO EAT A WHALE’S SHIT UNTIL YOUR MOMMA FORGETS HOW YOU LOOK LIKE :)
Fifth.
“But you don’t get kille-”
For the ten-millionth fucking time, asshole brains, it ain’t a contest.
0.0000001% of oppression is still oppression.
“I’ve gone through wor-”
Shut the fuck up. What’s your damn point? Doesn’t change the fact that we have it bad.
Sixth, I hope your blood is boiling in anger :)
I am mod fucking Yas. And you don’t tell me what my people have gone through. Cause I will shove a cactus up your ass(if i can, cause apparently it’s located inside your head) and make you kiss a whale’s anus :)
- Mod. Fucking. Yas. .l. Kiss my ass haters.

(interview) seventeen
ideal types for ‘fan magazine’ vol. 24

q: ideal type of girl?

seokmin: someone who will treat everyone sincerely and look kind when you look at her eyes.
hansol: i don’t have one!
chan: someone who can understand me.
mingyu: a girl who is like a mother: kind, cheerful, approachable, gentle.
minghao: i’m still young, i haven’t thought about it yet!
seungkwan: i like easy going girls.
jun currently, i’m not sure about my ideal girl. maybe i’ll know when i meet her?
hoshi: i like girls that have a homely aura. i don’t have an ideal, as long as we can click and understand each other.
wonwoo: i don’t have an ideal girl, but i prefer a kind and approachable girl.
woozi: because i’m still young, i haven’t thought about it yet. but vaguely, a kind girl!
jeonghan: my ideal girl changes all the time!
joshua: a kind and cute girl?!

translation © leese0kmin
take out with full credits

Jay meeting the parents
  • Lonnie: And this is my Parents.. My father Shang.. Or Li.. And my mother Mulan.. Or Fa Mulan..
  • Jay: Mrs and Mr Lonnies parents it's nice to meet you..
  • Shang: I do hope you treat my girl with respect..
  • Jay: Of course sir..
  • Lonnie: Oh daddy look! Come on!
  • [Lonnie pulls Shang over to the food table]
  • Jay: ma'am.. You have a wonderful daughter...
  • Mulan: I really have.. My husband will give you hurt her and I'll kill you talk but.. Jay, you hurt my little girl.. I swear I'll have your hair in a box.. Cut you up an feed you to the Tigers in our back yard.. Do you understand me?
  • Jay: Y-Yes ma'am..
  • Lonnie: Mommy hurry!
  • Mulan: I'll be right there butterfly! Remember.. Hair in box.. Then tigers..
  • [Mulan walks over to Lonnie and Shang with a bright smile]
  • Jay: Oh god what did I get myself into..

Okay, but jus imagine when Bianca died, instead of facing the judges of the afterlife, she meets her father.

“You have done well my daughter. You showed bravery and courage, though I don’t understand why you would help save that Jackson boy”.

“They were my friends, and it was my duty as a Hunter of Artemis”.

Ah, well yes, well since you fought so bravely, and you being my daughter, I have an offer for you; join me in my court, and you will live an eternal life".

“No”.

“No? What do you mean no?”

“I want rebirth, but before that, I want a deal.”

“You are just like your mother. She was always a woman who knew what she wanted. Go on.”

“I’m dead, and Nico has no one now. You’re his father, our father, and you have not been there-”

“I couldn’t! Zeus tried to kill you both, and in the process he killed your moth-”

“-for Nico and I, so since I’m dead, help watch after Nico. I already asked Lady Hestia to help, but you are his father.”

“He’s a weak pathetic excuse for a son! So dependent on others, so young and naïve, and-”

“Like you were? You were the youngest out of the six? Correct? Kronos probably loved you the least, don’t you owe it to your own son to love him the way your father didn’t?”

“You are testing my patience, Bianca, but *sigh* fine. I will try to help-”

“You will help Nico.”

“Yes, whatever. Deal.”

“Swear to it.”

“I swear on the river Styx”.

“I do not have time for coffee. I do not have time for meetings.  My job is not to make you feel better about me.  My job is to make my patients get better.  Do you know what could happen in the hour or two I would be wasting with you?  An hour or two matters!  They matter to me.  They should matter to you.  They matter to my patients.  If I leave and my patient dies, it’s not me who will suffer.  It is his mother, his sisters, his friends, his wife.  And they will hate me.  With everything inside them, they will hate me, and you, and everyone here because they won’t understand why he is gone, why people always leave.   Why everyone you give a crap about walks away or is ripped from your world without warning, without reason.  In convenience stores and plane crashes and podunk hospitals with podunk doctors who don’t do what they are supposed to do, which is save people!”

This.  This is the moment I waited for all week.