Going through this
Autors note: Well this is my first ever Tony fanfic, it´s probably not he best and it´s quite a sad Topic, but somehow I felt the Need to write it down. (Also english isn´t my native language, so have mercy with me)
Warning: Miscarriage, if you aren´t comfortable with it, then you better should not read it
Having a miscarriage is nothing you are guilty for. It´s not your fault! It´s hard but sometimes it can happen, never let anyone tell you, that it´s you to blame!
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Fumbling nervously with your wedding ring, you sat on the big black couch that stood in a corner of your husband’s office.
You had to tell him. Not only was it influencing your life, but his as well. He had the right to know it, even if his possible reaction to the news were going to break your heart.
The man you loved, the glorious and well-known Tony Stark, aka Iron Man, he’d break up with you the minute you told him. You were sure about it.
Tony didn’t deserve any of this. He deserved a wife who was happy, supporting and healthy. No doubt, you’d been supporting him in every way possible, but you weren’t as happy as you wished, you weren’t as healthy as you wanted.
Still deep in your thoughts you didn’t heared Tony entering the room. Only when he clapped his hands in front of your face you realised he was there. It was time. Now or never, you thought.
“Tony.. I’ve got to tell you something..”, you nervously whispered. He looked at you wide eyed, anxiety dancing in his brown orbs. “You aren’t gonna break up with me, are you?”, Tony asked. Sadness mingling within his voice. You shook your head. “No, oh my God I’d never break up with you. I love you. I just.. There’s something that might stop you from loving me.” Your [E/C] eyes darted to the ground, searching for the strength to finally tell him. Your fiance remained silent. “You remember my appointment at the doctor some weeks ago?” You did your best to get your head up a little and look at his face. Oh this beautiful face. Even the shock about whatever might follow didn’t take away a piece of his beauty. “Yes.”, he answered, his voice quite and about to crack. “The doctor-he took my blood some time ago, just to check if everything was being alright..”, you started. “It isn´t.”, the brown haired man ended your sentence, you kept silent. “[Y/N]..”, his voice was low, “Please tell me what´s wrong!”, he pleaded.
Your already teary eyes started to brim. Your time has come, your time to tell him, to loose him.
“Could we possibly sit down?” Tony nooded and you both went over to the couch you were sitting on just moments earlier, even if it seemed to be and eternaty away. “I´ve once told you about my last boyfriend, do you remember?”
“This blond guy you were nearly marrying if I wouldn´t have convinced you otherwise?”, he softly chuckled, a dire try to lighten up the thick tension. But you weren´t able to laugh, or even smile.
“Yeah, Alan. We-”, you started, but thinking about what you were about to say, you started anew. “Alan and me we were in a relationship since high school and we planned to start a family some day. So we got engaged and I got pregnant and the both of us probably couldn´t have been happier, but then..“, you struggled to find the right words to formulate what made you depressed by even thinking about it. “I´ve lost it. I´ve lost our child and neither Alan nor me were able to keep our relationship the way it was. Everytime I looked into his eyes I saw his sadness, even if he was trying to hide it. It was always there, and this miscarriage it.. it was my fault..” And then your whole facade broke apart. Everything was creeping back into your head, the grief, the guilt the sight of seeing the man you once loved more than anything cry about your lost baby, about you. Through your clouded eyes you could see Tony shiffting uncomfortably in his seat, then pulling you into his arms. “I´m sorry [Y/N]. I am so, so sorry, but that all wasn´t your fault! You need to believe me. It wasn´t your fault that you´ve lost your baby!”
“But that´s only half of the story. I´ve lost my only ever baby, I can´t get children ever again. I just had one damn chance and I took it and throw it away and I drove Alan away and now I´m going to lose you too!” “Hey, baby, look at me!”, he softly demanded and took your chin in his hand. “Listen to me carefully, alright? You are never going to lose me, you understand? Never. I´ll remain at you side for the rest of my life, in good days and bad, because I love you and nothing in this world is ever going to change that!”
He took your face in his big hands and kissed your lips tenderly.
“We´re going to get trough this. Together.” Tony smiled warmly at you and pulled you in for a soft kiss, that showed that he was being there, that he was going to listen to all of your problems, to stroke your hair when you were crying and to love you until the end of your days.
And that was the moment, when you realised, that nothing could ever take him away from you, because this man, who sat right in front of you, this man was what you needed, this man was what you wanted, this man was what you deserved.