you have made my day for once

Hey all! I’m back from my birthday weekend trip and have just now realized I haven’t really made any posts about myself. So enjoy my Choices Selfie Day entry! Shout out to @ivyschoice and @pixelberryprincess for creating it!

  • Name: Cassie
  • Age: 23 as of this past Friday :)
  • Zodiac Sign: Leo
  • Favourite Choices Game: The Royal Romance. I’m obsessed with it!
  • How long have you been playing Pixelberry Games?: I started playing Hollywood U around two years ago and immediately fell head over heels in love with Professor Hunt (What can I say? I like grumps.). Choices took  a little bit of time to really get into, but once I was in, I was completely hooked. 
archiveofourown.org
Captain of My Soul - WillowDeville - Mass Effect [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Summary:

“You remind me of him,” Anderson had once said, the day they had made Kaidan the second human Spectre. He was under no illusion that that wouldn’t have happened without Shepard being the first, but he wasn’t quite so sure if they had really shared the same values. From what he had heard, things had regularly blown up wherever Commander Shepard had gone, and Kaidan was proud to think that they didn’t tend to around him.

Kaidan Alenko and John Shepard never meet on the Normandy SR-1. By the time Kaidan becomes the second human Spectre, Commander Shepard has been dead for almost two years.


This excellent piece of work was written by @willowdeville​ and it was such an experience. A Mass Effect AU with characters we know and love wrapped into a story that was brilliant and imaginative. I loved every chapter. Thanks for sharing this fantastic work with us! Definitely a MUST-read.

blogs that make fun of “bad” art by random internet artists (as opposed to big studios, etc) are awful and malicious, and i say this as someone who used to be an avid follower of such blogs in my edgy tween days and as someone whose art was once featured on such a blog (one of the popular ones). i didn’t understand how badly it hurt until it happened to me because i was a thoughtless child, and it made me stop drawing altogether for almost a year. if it happened again today obviously it wouldn’t have that effect on me because I Am An Adult and i’ve learned how to handle even spiteful criticism, but to 13-year-old emotionally stunted me, it was devastating.

don’t make fun of a kid’s art, however Cringey you see it as. it’s inexcusable.

Batfamily as things my family has said

Barbara: “If you eat that piece of bacon I swear to god this friendship is over" 

Dick: *sneaks up on unsuspecting sibling* *randomly drops and crushes said sibling with all their weight* "HUMPBACK WHALE!!!" 

Jason: "Hey come here, I have to tell you a secret. Closer. Little closer.” *sticks tongue in their ear* 

Cass: “I’m sorry but I really don’t like you and I want you to stay outside of my house or maybe just be dead and burn in the darkest pits of hell please" 

Tim: *loses battery for the remote* "WHY WON’T GOD JUST FREAKING LET ME DIE I THINK I’VE EARNED IT BY NOW" 

Stephanie: *accidentally sets fire to counter* "You know, maybe you shouldn’t play with fire anymore” “Yeah, maybe-” *lights match* “-but not today" 

Damian: "You know once a kid dared me to stick up the middle finger in kindergarten and I did and the second I did it he called the teacher and she made me sit out recess that day and this is why I have trust issues" 

Alfred: *banging pots and pans* "GET THE FRICK DOWNSTAIRS YOU PEASANTS I MADE CUPCAKES AND NEED VALIDATION ON MY BAKING ABILITIES" 

Bruce: "hOw DaRe YoU dIsReSpEct mE!!! i aM tHe KiNg Of tHiS LiViNg RoOm!!!" 

5

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shining castle…

The other day I realized N’s hair kind of looks like Zoroark’s mane, and then I made a little Beauty and the Beast story with the protag from Black and White. Beast N lives in a castle in Kalos with his servants, who have all been cursed into the bodies of inanimate object ghost Pokemon. ANYWAYS, I’ve been doing this instead of studying for my finals so I’m going to go retreat into a shadowy hole now. Hope you enjoy and see you on the flipside! -Kat 

Public School Is A Goddamn Disater, Part 2: The Lovecraftian Madness of Machismo

Part 1 here, AKA: the Mantisocalypse (you don;t have to read it to understand this one, but you should anyway)

Content Warnings: Mental Illness, Attempted Murder, Sexual Content, Stalking, Abuse, Animal Abuse Mention, Emetophobia, US Public Education, Military Industrial Complex.  I’ve been told this is my most disturbing story, even if it’s hilarious, so mind your health.  All the names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent and Not-So-Innocent.

This is the story of Recruiting Sergeant Scott VS. The Lacrosse Jocks VS. Yours truly.

To understand this story, you must understand the dystopian hellscape that is US Public High School- I went to the NICE high school in town, with the AP curriculum and new building, where the the kids were generally too obsessed with getting into the ivy league to do anything worse than occasionally smoke on the roof.  Not even weed, just regular cigs.  During their off-periods, so they’d have time to febreeze their clothes and arrive to their next class early.  You know, the most boring fucking kids ever.

AND STILL, we were subjected to the various scourges of US public ed, namely-

-on-campus police officers and regular “what to do in case of a columbine event” drill.  We had Officer Munoz, who was a wonderful Latina Woman with the good sense to focus her efforts on getting kids away from abusive parents rather than persecuting brown kids, but we were VERY lucky on that front.  Still, having someone walking around with a gun and technically the authority to kill you, and having to hide in the science cabinets three times a year fucks you up.  Remember Officer Munoz though, She is Important.

- A weird, cult-like, frankly masturbatory attitude regarding athletic achievement.  The arts and sciences were stuck doing bake sales for supplies while the gym got re-done two years after the school opened.  This was tempered in an odd way at my school in that literally all the sports teams unequivocally sucked, with the exception of 

1.Marching Band, which went to nationals twice in the first two years the school was open 

2.Knowledge Bowl, where kevin and I took the team to 3rd in state in our first year, and only lost because Kevin had an asthma attack so we decided to let the other teams fight over the ‘lesser’ medals 

3.Lacrosse, which didn’t actually didn’t GO anywhere, but was a “real” sport and beat our ‘rival’ school, so the team got to be Big Men On Campus, and get away with all kinds of nonsense like eating in class when everyone else was forbidden or skipping tests for ‘practice’.  The three worst offenders were Dustin, Jack and “Rattlesnake Pete”, all of whom were budding neo-nazis and thus signed up for German.  With our Jewish teacher.  Remember them too.

-On-campus military recruiters.  As in, people who are legally allowed to exaggerate, manipulate and actually lie to minors to convince them to join the armed forces.  Ours was Sergeant Scott, and as much of a skeevy rat as he was I honestly felt bad for him, because remember, academic magnet high school so he had three kinds of kids to work with:

  • Kids who made the physical standards for the armed forces and were all about honoring their country via physical labor, but were dumb as shit and couldn’t pass the written exam.
  • Kids who could pass the written exam and were totally ready to bully some people in the third world, but couldn’t do a pull up if you covered the gym floor in cobras.
  • Kids who passed the physical and mental portions but were uniformly rabidly anti-military industrial complex, to the point where 35 of them crammed into his cubicle in the office he shared with Officer Munoz and Janitor Wendy, so they could hold a sit-in protest of the Iraq war and chant “Impeach Bush” and “War is Murder” at him  Someone chucked red paint on him, because they’re furious immature teenagers.  It was his first day.

Poor bastard.  Remember Him as well.

Keep reading

six of crows as @wolfpupy tweets
  • kaz brekker: only the good die young? phew good thing that i am so incredibly awful
  • inej ghafa: some say love is a river, me i say things that make sense
  • jesper fahey: the biggest flaw of all my get rich quick schemes so far has been that they haven't gotten me rich quickly or even at all
  • nina zenik: i don't care if this offends you but once i get my long sparkling mermaid hair everyone else will basically become worthless
  • wylan van eck: watching everything go up in flames has made me rethink everything i thought i knew about lighting things on fire
  • matthias helvar: hope everyone is celebrating Give Money To Wolves Day
  • kuwei yul bo: other people, lately, have been saying so many things and i, myself, shouldn't have to hear or listen to it

Another thing that really bothers me about the conversations around ‘riots’ is the amount of people who have a binary image of ‘big capitalist store’ versus the romantized ‘honest local store’ and think they can tell the difference from a photo. 

A lot of local stores feel the need to compete with the big stores and treat their employees like shit. There are so many ‘local’ stores out there exploiting teenagers and undocumented people, paying them less than minimum wage, pushing them to work without breaks and to unpaid overtime. And local activists often know exactly who the worst bastards in town are. 

When I was young I worked at a cute little local bakery that exploited a hand full of underage workers, denying us basic workers rights and minimum wage and exposing us to constant emotional abuse. We worked long shifts on ovens placed much to close together without proper protective gear and we burned ourselves almost every day. We were given minimal time and no proper supplies to treat burns. I once burned myself very badly and dropped the bread I was holding and the boss made me sit through a ten minute shouting before I could treat my burn. I still have clear scars from that work after many years. 

So if the riot ever comes to that town, you can bet I’ll be right in front leading the charge to burn that cute little local bakery. 

To love me means also loving to hear all the raging thoughts in my head at one in the morning when all of my frustrations suddenly burst; it also means embracing all the quirkiness wrapped around my entirety like adoring how beautiful the stars up above midnight or how the clouds move in a slow motion to form warriors and knights; it may as well mean coming with me at Mcdonald’s when I crave for some fries and sundae at two in the morning; it’s also defined as listening to my senseless and repetitious stories about my dreams, fantasies and everyday life. To love me means swearing that you would listen to the songs I would tell to you in the middle of the day because I assure you, you’d be hearing from me talking about them from time to time.

Loving someone like me isn’t easy for I am someone scarred badly in the past. My whole system is composed of heartaches, pains, sorrows and miseries—I am imperfectly flawed but that made me who I am. To love me is to embrace those imperfections stitched through my veins. To love me means allowing me to have solitude once in a while since I have these moments that I want to shut my world down from everybody else; I have those dark times that I never wanted to talk to anybody at all and just want to lock myself in my own world. Just give me some time to think, at the end of the day I will come back to you. To love me is to tell me how much you care for me even in the slightest way—I will surely appreciate that even my form of appreciation and gratitude is to tell how corny or annoying you are, but deep down, your words mean a lot and warmed my heart. To love me means staying with me no matter how messy and difficult I could be. All I ever want is someone who will stand right behind me during my darkest and worst moments of my life.

To love me is to tell me your thoughts and opinions about the things I keep on telling you about even they mean nothing to you. To love me is to allow me to grow with you as a being physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

I am a complicated and difficult person. I am crazy, wild, freak, easily hurt and gullible. So tell me you love me when you only mean it. I don’t have time for some franks or what. I have had enough of heartbreaks in my past. I am aging and all I ever want for now is a stable and long-lasting relationship that would make me choose to stay no matter how many rocks were thrown at us or no matter how turbulent and bumpy the roads may get.

To love me means a little bit of sacrifice. But I can guarantee you that I could make you feel you’re the best person in the world and you didn’t make the wrong choice by choosing me over them. With me, I can make you feel disconnected from the rest of the galaxy. I will surely make tons of efforts for our relationship to keep going and last. It will be a tough ride for the both of us but I can assure you that it will be worth it and filled with so much fun. To love me means needing and wanting me like the way I do to you.

—  redserpent42, To Love Someone Like me
Get Out.

Originally posted by tess453

Peter Parker x Reader

Request: Yes

Summary: Deciding to stay in for a date, Peter and the Reader are faced with annoying and embarrassing comments from the whole team, who are unaware of their relationship.

Word Count: 2,428

Warnings: language, fluff, annoying avengers (??), embarrassed!Peter, embarrassed!Reader, cuteness, LOTR trilogy. (Let me know if I missed any)

A/N: Alright homies, I apologize it has taken me so long to upload something. I’ve been reaally stressed. So hopefully this is okay? For the anon that requested this, I hope you like it. I’d love some feedback, as always. Enjoy reading!


Dark, gray clouds blocked any source of light from shining through the big, thick glass windows surrounding every inch of the building.

The entire tower was filled with a solemn mood that spread into every corner and room.

Most of the team dreaded days like these, since it put a damper on their mood, (especially Steve).

You, however, cherished days like these the most.

It’s where you find your peace and inner self, no matter how depressing that may sound.

It helps you relax and release any stresses that corrupt your thoughts.

But the best reason of all is that you don’t have to leave the house, even if you had a date with Peter tonight.

However, thinking that idea through, you realized something.

The whole team would be here.

With Peter and you.

During your date.

Well, fuck.

Keep reading

I respect those who respect me. It’s mutual. You’ll never find me allowing disrespect while still being respectful. Sorry. Once I feel like I’m being disrespected + I’ve addressed it + I’ve made my feelings clear and the treatment continues, then I will draw for the responses I have stored for you in the savage department in my brain that is guaranteed to give you a lifetime of bad days.

- Meggan Roxanne

Bts reaction to their crush saying “if I could lose my virginity to anyone it would be you”

Wow that’s a long ass title

Seokjin: You two were best friends who had a hell load of tension going on. You were over at Jin’s place to just hang out. He always thought that his feelings were one sited so he never even considered confessing to you. All of the sudden you asked him about his sex life, being afraid that the answer would hurt you since you have a crush on him too. Being confused he’d answer honestly: “Lately there’s not much going on. I’d feel uncomfortable doing it with someone who isn’t you.” he confessed by mistake. He’d feel really embarrassed as he realizes what happened. You said: “I didn’t thought you feel like this. Well, if I could lose my virginity to anyone it would be you”. Jin would be soooo happy saying: “I’d really be honored to take your virginity. I like you, y/n.” He’d approach you slightly giving you a soft kiss which leads to a heavy make out session. Being the gentleman he is, he wouldn’t let it come too far without dating you. 

Jin on the inside:

Originally posted by mscleaningfairy

Namjoon: You two were chilling alone at a house party together. Because you already drank a bit Namjoon felt confident enough to start asking private questions. Technically it wasn’t your idea to tell him you’re just the most honest person after only one shot of tequila. Without him having to ask you just went for it and said: “if I could lose my virginity to anyone it would be you” Namjoom had his facial expression under control only a dirty smile covered his face. “I knew that! You like me and I like you..” He’d immediately start acting all cocky and flirty with you which leaded to making out in a spare room. He was grinding on you making you horny and kissing your neck until he left hickeys. But Namjoon wouldn’t want you to regret anything the next morning so he delayed your first time to when you’d be sober. “You don’t want to be drunk on your first time, just call me when you want. Or should I call you?” 

Originally posted by seokkuk

Yoongi: Yoongi and you were these kind of best friends who spend all of their time together. Once the two of you were taking a nap over at his place. Having a light sleep Yoongi cuddled with you. He always acted like you were his girlfriend. You thought he was still awake and told him “if I could lose my virginity to anyone it would be you”. Yoongi would wake up totally confused and look at you. He’d hug you tight from the back and kiss your neck saying: “Y/n, is it that obvious that I have a crush on you?” Still being sleepy he’d unhook your bra under the shirt of him that you wore. Rolling you over he kissed you multiple times. Astonishing your now fully naked body he kissed you again. “It won’t hurt, I promise”

Yoongi when he wakes up confused:

Originally posted by amayskpoparchive

Hoseok: You and Hobi were at a club going crazy and dancing like there’s no tomorrow. That was the moment you fell for him, his cheerful and happy personality and -we’re not gonna ignore this- of course his handsome looks. When a sexy R’n’B song played you decided to dance seductively. Hobi was left with surprise as he joined you and the tension started to grow until he kissed you in the middle of the dancefloor. Hobi started to giggle like a little kid deciding to go home with you. As you made out on his bed you said. “If I could lose my virginity to anyone it would be you.” He’d smile really brightly feeling honored to take your virginity as he slowly unclothed you.

Hoseok seeing you dance:

Originally posted by sugabeats

Taehyung: You guys were friends but had secretly feelings for each other. You were totally in love with him but your lack of experience made you self-conscious. One day Tae was bragging about fucking this girl just to make you jealous. Your reaction to it had him SHOOK. You just said “if I could lose my virginity to anyone it would be you” as a response. Tae would need several moment to realize what just happened but once he did he’d confess.”I’m sorry for being such an cocky asshole but that was my way to make you jealous. I actually have a crush on you and it’ll make me really happy to fuck yo- I mean take your virginity.” You just laughed and kissed him. He’d pick you up like a bride and carried you to his bed.

Tae being shook because of your response:

Originally posted by cutae-hyungie

Jimin: All the other member knew about you being Jimin’s crush and tried to set you up. They invited you over to a house party. Everything went fine, you talked with Jimin the whole time, until Jungkook suddenly shouted:”LET’S PLAY TRUTH OR DARE”.. Namjoon called your name and you chose truth. “Who out of all the people here would you have sex with?”. You answered honestly with “if I could lose my virginity to anyone it would be you, Jimin” looking at him. He was blushing and smiling happy. Next Hobi dared Jimin to spend 30 minutes with you in his room. Arriving there he confessed to you. “I’m so sorry it had to happen like this. The other’s tried really hard.” he said. “Well it worked and by the way we have still 20 minutes left.” you smiled sheepishly. Being confident he kissed you slowing unclothing your body.

Jimin when you said you still have 20 minutes:

Originally posted by bwipsul

Jungkook: Kookie asked you out on a date after crushing over you for a long time. You were out walking around the city after having a drink. He was leading you to his favorite spot on a hill where you could see the stars and the whole city shining. You were sitting on a blanket his arm around you. You talked about so many different things until he asked you if you’ve ever been in a serious relationship. You answered with yes but admitted being a virgin. He was surprised because you seemed quite mature.“But actually if I could lose my virginity to anyone it would be you” you said. Jungkook would turn into JungSHOOK before acting really cocky. “I mean if you’re up to it..” You’d kiss. First slow but then it turned into a real make out session. He slid his hand up your skirt grabbing your ass. “We probably have to do this an other time unless you want to lose your virginity in a place were people could easily see us.”

Jungkook being cocky:

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

So this took quite a long time hope u enjoyed it!

HAPPY GRI–

–MMICHI DAY!

A big thank you to the folks at twitter who gave me great ideas. I tried to put them all in one picture. Ichigo shouldn’t have made Grimmjow any promises he couldn’t keep. Who cares if it’s 3am? He wants his fight! 

Cooking Prompts

- You don’t know how to cook more than ramen so I’m trying to teach you but all you have to eat is ramen and a single carrot. How are you alive?

- I needed you to go grocery shopping for me because I love to cook but you have no clue what you’re doing. Also, how do you not know what a radish is? Have you been living under a rock or?

- You are an amazing cook and just watched me eat microwave popcorn for all 3 meals today and I think you’re going to punch me.

- You just made what you think is a really easy dish but I’m actually crying at how good it is. No, I’m fine, I’m just in love with your cooking so much. Please, will you make me more food in the future?

- For my birthday you bought me 3 different cookbooks and I get the hint. You want me to actually make food for once. But dude, it’s hard and takes time to do that.

- We’ve stayed home all day so neither of us have changed but when you started cooking you put on an apron. Now I just realized you are in fact naked wearing a apron and wow you just made cooking sexy.

- “I tried to make you a birthday cake but it completely flopped so now your cake is just a plate of marshmallows. I’m sorry.”

- “I forgot that you’re allergic to (insert food) and I accidentally put some in your meal. Now our dinner date is spent at the hospital.”

- “We’re trying to cook a nice meal together but I’m really clumsy so I dropped everything on the ground. So now we’re eating pizza and watching movies together.”

  • Hibari: Once when I was a kid, I told my mother it was a teachers' work day so I wouldn't have to go to school.
  • Hibari: But my mother's not an idiot, so of course it didn't work, but when we got to the school, we found it WAS a teachers' work day and that made me think I had superpowers.
  • Hibari: So I started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory.
  • Tsuna: You thought you had superpowers, so you immediately attempted to murder everyone.
  • Hibari: Go big or go home.
how to get into skincare

I’ve already done a post about how to get into makeup, and one about how to get into SFX, so I figured I might as well make one for skincare. I have extremely sensitive, extremely acne-prone skin, so when it comes to skincare products, I’ve literally tried everything. It’s gotten to the point where I’m the “resident expert” that all of my family and friends come to when they need help figuring out which products to use.

I think a lot of people don’t take proper care of their skin because they have the misconception that it’s time-consuming and/or expensive. Honestly, I spend less than two minutes on skincare on most days, and I only use affordable products that are available at drug stores. No matter who you are, you can afford to take good care of your skin.


product names you’re likely to see, and what they mean:

  • cleanser is just soap that’s gentle enough for the delicate skin on your face. It comes in liquid, cream, and even powder formulas, but all you need to know is that if the label says “cleanser,” then it’s just face wash. If you’re only going to use one skincare product, this is the one you should invest in.
  • Note: You should NEVER use bar soap on your face! The skin on your face is thinner and more delicate than the skin on the rest of your body, and most bar soaps will damage it. There are some cleansers that come in bar form, but as a general rule you should never use a product on your face that wasn’t made specifically to be used on faces. 
  • moisturizer is probably the second most commonly-used product, after cleanser. This is exactly what it sounds like – it’s basically lotion that is specially made to be used on your face. No matter what your skin type is, you should be moisturizing daily. (Proper moisturization actually helps cut down on oily skin in most cases.) 
  • toner (sometimes also called astringent) is a product that is usually applied after cleanser, but before moisturizer. It’s called “toner” because it tones your skin, as well as cleansing any dirt or grime that your cleanser missed. Not everyone needs to use toner, but if you have oily or acne-prone skin, I’d recommend it.
  • a face mask is any product that is made to be used occasionally to give your skin a little extra love. A lot of them are made to address certain issues, like acne, dryness, or dullness. Usually, you apply it and let it sit on your face for a few minutes before you wash it off. I personally try to use a mask on my face once or twice a week whenever I have the time, but they’re more of a treat than a necessity. (And you probably shouldn’t use them every day.) 
  • exfoliators or exfoliating scrubs are products designed to buff away dead skin cells. Usually, they have some kind of gritty texture to them (like sugar grains) that scrubs off the dead skin. Like face masks, they’re more of a treat than a necessity, but unlike with face masks, too much exfoliating can actually hurt your skin. You should never exfoliate more than 2-3 times a week, and never, ever exfoliate two days in a row.
  • pore strips are kind of like waxing strips for your face, but instead of removing hair, they remove blackheads and other junk clogging your pores. I would not recommend pore strips to someone who is new to skincare, and like with exfoliators, using them too often can really damage your skin. If you’re going to use them, you should never use them more than once every three days. 

There are other product names that you might see floating around online (like “essence” or “facial oil”), but these are the basic products that you need to know about. Honestly, if you have a good cleanser, toner, and moisturizer (plus maybe a face mask or two for occasional pampering), then you don’t really need any other products, because those three will get the job done. 


how to build your own skincare routine:

  1. The first step is to understand your skin type. The three most common types are: dry, oily, and combination (in between dry and oily). Shop for products that are designed and labelled for your skin type. (If you have a lot of acne, look for products labelled “acne care” or something along those lines. If you have a lot of skin allergies, or if your skin doesn’t react well to harsh chemicals, look for products made for sensitive skin.)
  2. Go to the nearest Walmart, CVS, Walgreen’s, ect. with $20, and find the skincare aisle. Keeping your skin type in mind, look for a good cleanser and a good moisturizer. (If you have oily or acne-prone skin, you might want to pick up a toner as well.) If you can, look for generic brands (I know Walmart carries one called Equate) that make products with the same ingredients as name-brand products, but significantly cheaper. (If you’re looking for cruelty-free products, check out the brands Burt’s Bees and Yes To.)
  3. If you want to make things easier, you can buy all of the products you need in a pack. (Like this, or this.) These usually contain a cleanser, a toner, and a moisturizer. 
  4. Every morning when you first wake up, wash your face with the cleanser and pat it dry with a clean towel. Then apply the toner, if you bought one – you do not wash this off. Then (after waiting a few seconds for the toner to take effect), apply your moisturizer. That’s literally all there is to it. If you’re a morning shower person, you can save time by washing your face in the shower, then applying toner and moisturizer after you get out.
  5. Every night before you go to bed, do the same thing. (Of course, if you wear makeup, you’ll have to remove it, either with makeup remover or with warm water, before you wash your face.) 
  6. Right before bed is a good time to use face masks/exfoliators/pore strips, if you want. I always wash my face first, then skip over my toner and go straight into applying the mask/exfoliator/strip, and let it sit for as long as the directions on the packaging indicate. After I wash it off, I use my moisturizer like always.
  7. Congratulations! You now have a skincare routine!


This post goes into detail of all the products and tricks I use in my own personal routine, if you’re curious. 

I hope this post was helpful! If you have any questions about specific products, or about treating specific skin conditions, feel free to message me and I’ll try to help in any way I can. 

masterlist (there’s more beauty/skincare tips on there, if you’re interested)

hazyxthoughts  asked:

"How do I send texts again? I press this?" "No, wait, don't! Oh shit you sent it to ALL YOUR CONTACTS!!" "I DID WHAT"

This prompt literally made my shitty exhausting day a hundred times brighter and I love you for it.


Draco: Listen, Weasley, I have a favour to ask of you. Humongous favour. One that you can never tell anyone about if you don’t want to lose your balls, your dick and your nipples all at once.

Ron: *alarmed* I’m listening?

Draco: See, since Harry is on a mission and I can’t physically reach him I would like to send him some photos, to, khm, keep him entertained. And I forgot how to send photos along with texts.

Ron: *nervous* What kind of, umm, photos exactly?

Draco: *smirks* Exactly the kind you’re thinking about.

Ron: Uhhh

Draco: C'mon Weasley. I will cover your ass in front of Granger for a whole year.

Ron: Really? Hmm..she does go hard on me sometimes… Circe, fine. I just hope I don’t go blind from seeing your ugly naked arse. 

Draco: Ugly? Potter begs to differ. *winks*

Ron: *chokes*

Draco: *takes out his spell phone* Look, these are all the photos I want to send.

Ron: *squints at them sideways*  MERLIN’S MIGHTY MOUSTACHE. *covers his eyes with his hand*  How much must I have sinned in this life to deserve to see this. *opens his eyes a tiny bit * NO! No! Don’t click on it. That’ll only enlarge it and I don’t think I’ll survive seeing your ass up clos-  ohmygod I see your balls too and is that your di- OHGOD *closes eyes*

Draco: Stop being so dramatic, Weasley. My ass, as well as my other parts, is exquisite. Now, how do I send these again? I press this, right?

Ron: NO! No, wait, don’t! Oh shit, you sent it to ALL YOUR CONTACTS!!

Draco:  I DID WHAT?

Ron: *whispers in shock* You sent it to everyone.

Draco: *squeaks* EVERYONE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN EVERYONE? ARE YOU TELLING ME MY FATHER WILL RECEIVE THIS PHOTO??!!

Ron: YOUR FATHER HAS A SPELL PHONE?

Draco: Of course, he does! He likes to keep up with the trends!

Ron: *doubles over, starts heaving from laughter*  I JUST WITNESSED LUCIUS MALFOY BEING SENT DICK PICKS BY HIS OWN SON THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE I AM LIVING

Tied 

Dracoxreader smut Summary: You two are from different houses (i used ravenclaw here, but any other will do) and dont particularly like each other or get along at all. things get steamy one drunk night when all word filters are out of the picture. Warnings: biting kink (and smut, duh). Enjoy ;)


 The unbearably long day was slowly nearing to an end with only one class left. Naturally, it was one with the Slytherins. It was agonizing. You couldn’t avoid exchanging a few offensive swear words every time you ran into any of them in the halls. The worst was with Malfoy, the vain boy, proud of his heritage to an extent. It wasn’t until the fourth year that we had actually spoken a word to each other. Before that, it was only brisk eye contacts, his orbs sparkling with disgust. Then, one day I decided to let my mouth outrun my brain as I sad to him: “You don’t have to act like an arsehole if you don’t really want to, you know? Nobody is going to think less of you if you skip voicing your rather unnecessary opinion once in a while.” It was on a Wednesday like this one, the Charms class we had together had just ended. Draco had made a snarky remark on one of my housemate’s ‘ridiculous performance in the simplest charms’. The whole room was dead silent as i finished my sentence. He directed me a glare filled with wrath and said something that would’ve got me detention for a week hadn’t my friends held me back. “Why don’t YOU do everyone a favor and take your ugly presence elsewhere? I would suggest the sewers, where you’d fit in nicely,” that disgusting smirk of victory dancing on his too pale face. 


 "Stiff wiseacre.“ Draco’s voice rang through my ears as he pushed me away to enter the classroom first. My response rolled off my tongue immediately. “Bleached arsehole.” He turned around, staring at me intensely and would have surely directed me a couple more swear words before Flitwick entered the room and asked us to take our seats. “Why don’t you two just snog already,” my friend whispered as we sat down. “Excuse me?” My eyebrows furrowed and the corners of my mouth turned downwards in distress. “Oh please, Y/N. The sex tension between you two is flaming.” “I fucking hate him.” “You might as well hold a giant banner saying ‘sex tension’ the second you two as much as look at each other.” “You’re gonna make me vomit, will you, for the love of God, just stop?” And she did, snickering to herself when the professor started talking. 

Later that week, I sat in the Great Hall eating dinner. Much to my dismay, I couldn’t help but let my mind slip into thoughts about Draco. Ever since Jean had drawn my attention to the apparent sexual tension going on, I wouldn’t stop thinking about it. In class my eyes would linger a bit too long on his neck, tracing his smooth skin before I shake my head, snapping out of my bubble. My cheeks would heat up and my palms would get sweaty if he caught me gazing at his lips. “I hate him, what the hell is going on,” I murmured to myself, my words getting lost into the noise of the room. As I lifted my stare I saw Draco strutting to the Slytherin table. My insides twitched when he ran his hand through his sleek hair and connected our gazes. I quickly looked away, a little less discreetly than I wanted to. “I’m finished. You going,”I asked Jean standing up from my chair. “Yeah, I’m coming.”

Before I was ready, another Wednesday rolled around. I caught myself anxiously excited to be able to stare at the young Malfoy from the back of the room. I was standing in front of the classroom with my friends as his voice rang through my ears: “Geek fest, is it?” I felt intense heat rise in me, travelling all the way to my face. I turned to him, opening my mouth to direct him a couple of insults, but my words got stuck in my throat and all I managed to do is cough. The smirk he had playing on his lips disappeared for a second, expressing his confusion, but returned soon enough. Draco walked backwards to the classroom, his eyes piercing through me. All I could do was stare at him and his perfect blue orbs as well. “What the hell was that?” I turned to my friends, every single one of them giving me confused looks.

***

“Are you going to that party,” Jean asked me about a week later. We were sitting in the Ravenclaw common room, my nose buried in a Potions book. “What party,” I replied without so much as lifting my gaze. “The one that seventh-year girl invited us to. Remember?” “Yeah, I’m not going.” 

“Seriously? Why not?” She sounded irritated.

“I don’t know. This whole house unity people are trying to achieve sounds too good to be true. Plus, what if somebody catches us?”

“Oh come on, you are being paranoid, Y/N. You’re going. There will be alcohol.” She ended the last sentence in a sing-song voice.

“Even worse. I don’t want to go, Jean. Will the Slytherins be there?”

“I don’t know. Why?”

The way my cheeks started burning every time there was even an insinuation Draco was going to come up in a conversation started to annoy me. “I’m just trying to avoid unnecessary contact with them.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Is this about Malfoy?”

“What? What about him.” My words were shaky and too rushed.

“Oh Merlin, it is! When did this start? This is so exciting. It’s like in the books! Worst enemies fall for each-”

Stop,” I yelled standing up, “you’re making this up, just like you made up the ‘sexual tension’.” I air quoted the last words. 

“That is easily the biggest lie I’ve ever heard. You are totally whipped.”

“Shut up. Are you hearing yourself?! This is Malfoy we’re talking about!”

“Okay, so prove it. Come to the party.”

 “Bet your ass I’m going to.”

***

The hall echoed as my shoes hit the stone floor. I reached the Room of Requirement and joined the group of fellow Ravenclaws standing in front of it, elicting a couple of whistles from my friends. “Wow, Y/N. Who’s this all for?” “Hmm, I don’t know,” I said in a playful voice,”certainly not for you Theo.” I avoided Jean’s gaze as people laughed at my remark.

We entered the party, the Room of Requirement now spacious,decorated and already crowded. Sofas and chairs were scattered all over. “Welcome guys,” a seventh-year Griffindor yelled over the music,”make yourselves at home!” I grabbed myself a glass of Firewhiskey  and searched the room as I took a swig. My heart jumped when I saw Malfoy standing against a wall with a drink in his hand. My eyes then fell on a girl he was talking to. She was beautiful and obviously  very interested in him. “Stop,” I mumbled into my chin, trying to get rid of the undeniable feeling of jealousy growing inside. “Hey, Y/N! We’re starting a game of spin the bottle. Wanna join?” “No thanks. Maybe later.” “I’m sure your Slytherin prince will be playing,” Jean whispered, making sure nobody else heard. “And I’m sure I do not care,” I said through gritted teeth,”see you later Jean. Have fun.” “Okay. Right back at you.” She winked at me. I hated how right she was, how much I wished he would ditch that Slytherin girl and got his ass over here and pinned me to the cold wall. How much I wanted his hands everywhere… ‘Oh God, please stop,’ I thought rubbing my temple. ‘You don’t have a chance anyway.’ 

My gaze was fixed on him. No matter how hard I tried, my stares, my thoughts, everything kept going back to him, as I went to get another drink, as I talked to other people, as I tried to dance. Finally, Theo came up to me, offering me a cigarette. “One of the Muggle-borns smuggled some for us.” I gladly took one. Lighting it quickly with his lighter. It was a guilty pleasure. My eyes shot in Malfoy’s direction once again. Theo turned. “Who are you eyeing tonight?” “No one,” I said quickly.

I leaned against a wall, blowing smoke through my lips slowly. I didn’t even try to break my habit of glancing at the alluring blond boy across the room, only this time finding his stare on me. I quickly shifted, trying to look everywhere except in his direction, taking another drag. “Here, take the whole pack. We have more over there. Now, if you’ll excuse me, some fine birds are waiting to be caged by this beauty.” “Mhmm,” I barely listened to him, snatching the cigarettes from his hand. 

I couldn’t shake the magnetic need to eye Draco. I took an upset smoke when I saw him pushing himself of the wall and leaning to the girl’s ear to whisper something, touching her shoulder in the process. Then everything felt frozen,slow and cold when Draco’s darkened blue orbs pierced through me, his tall figure making his way over. My fingertips tingled, adrenaline shooting through my body. He took his time, walking slowly and arrogantly and I almost forgot how to stand and what to do with my hands. After what felt like an eternity, Malfoy lessened the distance and leaned next to me against the wall. We didn’t say anything as I took a drag and blew it out tediously slowly. 

“You know,” he started, looking straight ahead,”people say it’s rude to stare.” My heart raced out of my chest, I cleared my throat soundlessly in a poor attempt to keep my composure. “Really?” He finally turned his head to me, but I stood still, desperately trying to look cool smoking my cigarette. “Yeah. But sometimes,” Draco leaned forward, letting his breath skim over my skin,”it can be quite flattering.” For a few seconds I allowed myself to be frozen, a breath stuck in my throat, before I snapped out of it. “That’s really great for you, Malfoy.” He chuckled, sending shivers down my spine. “That’s the first time I ever heard you say my name.” I could practically feel the stupid grin on his face. I rolled my eyes, taking another drag.

He leaned in even more, his lips now dangerously close to my ear. “Are we going pretend I didn’t just catch you staring at me 20 times in the past 5 minutes?” His voice came out as a whisper. With sudden courage exploding in me, I looked him in the eyes, an orgasmic feeling buzzing in my head. ‘He totally wants this too.

“So what are you going to do about it, Malfoy?” “I love the way you say that.” Draco’s hand touched my hip, then slid to rest on the small of my back. I took in a loud shaky breath, dropping what little was left of my cigarette to the floor. “I don’t know,” he came back to answering my question,”I might ask you to join me outside so we can talk about this.” I  peered into his eyes again, quickly dropping my gaze to his lips. “Talk?” My voice was slow and hoarse and I could swear I saw a flash of satisfaction explode in his blue orbs. 

Draco’s cold hand found my wrist and he pulled me towards the door. There wasn’t a speck of me that tried or wanted to protest. We were out of the room in a matter of seconds and, before I was ready, his hands were on my hips, pinning me hard to the wall. I let out a quiet squeal, closing my eyes. Draco leaned in, me expecting him to kiss me, but instead started tracing my jawline with his scorching lips. He reached my neck and kissed it with pressure, earning an ‘oh God’ from me. I could feel him smile into my skin before he continued. It was so slow and bursting with lust. My everything was burning and I tangled my hands into Draco’s hair and tugged, adding a small hip roll over him. The Slytherin released a loud moan into my neck, finally pulling back to connect our lips.

The kiss was filled with need and passion and I surprised myself when I broke it to ask:”Is your dorm empty?” His eyes searched my face for a second, before adding a smirk. “We’ll find out.”

The trip to the Slytherin dorms was brisk, with a few short kisses shared along the way. He made me block my ears as he said the password and we were up the stairs is seconds. Draco smiled when we discovered the dorm was, in fact, empty. He pulled out his wand and murmured a couple of spells. “What are you doing?” “I’m locking the door,” he said too harshly,”I thought you Ravenclaws were supposed to be smart.” “Shut up,” I replied, holding back a smile. “I also cast a silencing spell for you.”

A jolt of heat shot through me, going straight to my pussy. His hands slid from my back to my ass as he pushed me towards his bed, my shirt and tie lost in the process. My knees hit the edge of the bed and I grabbed his own tie pulling him into a wet, hot kiss. I fell onto the bed, followed with Draco landing on top of me, a bulge very apparent in his pants. I used this opportunity to grind up on him, enticing another throaty moan, him following my actions and rolling his hips creating friction. My hands worked on his tie and shirt before discarding them and tracing his chest and abs, finding their way to his belt. I went a little lower, stroking him over the fabric. 

“Oh God, what you do to me,” he whispered after a loud shaky breath, making me shudder. I was gone in the moment. I wanted to let go and simply let Draco take care of me. “Bite me.” My voice was barely audible, whispered into his warm lips. He froze his actions. “Excuse me?” I bit his lip slowly and tenderly. Draco’s eyes  were fixed on mine as he got the memo. He smiled slightly and compiled, starting first on my own lips, then transitioning to my neck. I barely noticed when the Slytherin’s hand started sneaking down my side, finding its way to the button of my pants. It slid over my underwear with ease, applying little pressure. I exhaled harshly and screamed his last name. My back arched as Draco applied more pressure, rubbing up and down. 

His bites became more intense and sloppier and I swear I almost came two minutes into our make out. My fingers tangled into his hair and pulled a little, earning a small moan from the blond. I didn’t stop crying out his name, the last cry followed by:”Oh my God, I’m close.” 

Draco slowed down his actions and pulled back to look at me. “Enjoying yourself?” His long fingers rubbed my clit painfully slow and I let out a stressed moan. “What was that?” His voice was smug and sweet. “Malfoy, please.” He was incredibly amused as he observed the way I melted under the slightest touch of his.

“Please what?” I cried out in annoyance. “Hmm?” He hummed right into my ear. “Please go down on me.” “As you wish.” 

I wasn’t prepared when Draco pulled my pants down abruptly and planted small kisses on the inside of my thigh, before pulling down my underwear as well and I certainly wasn’t prepared when he lifted me up with ease and flipped me. He placed me to sit on his face. Draco took his time actually getting to the task, kissing and licking everywhere but where I needed him. He finally licked up my slit and I cried out his name. His skilled tongue worked me like a drug as I quickly became a moaning mess trapped under his control. 

“Fuck, Malfoy. Fuckfuckfuck.” One of his cold, eager hands held my hip as the other slowly slithered in my folds. I lost all power and began shaking, feeling my orgasm creeping up. 

Draco stopped and slid under me. “What are you doing,” I asked turning my head to look at him. The blond took of his pants, leaving him only in his boxers. I felt his hands skim over my skin and then rest on my stomach as he hugged me from behind. “Tell me how much you want me right now.” “Overmuch.” He shot shivers down my spine when he chuckled. “Only after you tell me how good I make you feel.” I groaned and leaned my head back on his shoulder. Draco’s hands unhurriedly slid down to my core, rubbing grievously slow circles on my clit.

“So?” “I have never been turned on like this in my life.” “And?” “And you drive me crazy.” He surprised me by kissing my cheek before sliding his boxers down and started slowly pushing into me. The both of us cried out. “Faster,” I said eagerly and he pushed into me the rest of the way vigorously. “Oh my God, Draco!” He sped up his actions, pumping me as I followed grinding my hips. 

I struggled with my breath and screamed and moaned, slipping in quite a few curse words. “Thank Merlin for that silencing spell, huh,” he whispered to me and I felt I was close.

Draco’s fingers started working on my clit again and I couldn’t take it anymore. “Fuck, I’m coming,” I cried as I leaned back into him. After a couple of pumps Draco came as well, biting into my shoulder.

We fell onto his bed exhausted and I slid under the covers, laying on my back. “Wow. Who would’ve thought..,” Draco said. He was laying on his side, propped up on his elbow. I turned my head to him. “What?” “I really didn’t think you’d be so good at this,” he said in his usual Malfoy manner, sounding kinda vain. “Oh yeah? I didn’t think it was that special,” I teased. “Oh please. I destroyed you,” he chuckled.

***

I opened my sore eyes, blinking a few times to get used to the harsh light in the room. I shot up as I remembered last night’s events and realized that it’s already morning. “Shitshitshit.” I got up, still completely naked and started putting on my clothes. “Mmm I could get used to seeing this in the morning,” I heard Draco’s voice behind me. “Shut the hell up, Malfoy! We’re going to be late for class!” He groaned and rubbed his face. 

I made sure I picked up all my things and stormed out the door. Halfway down the stairs I stopped and ran back upstairs. I found Draco already putting on his shirt. “Hey arsehole,” I said,”see you later.” He smiled and before he got to say anything, I was already running down the stairs again.

I stormed into the dark Potions classroom and mumbled an apology. When I sat down next to Jean and looked up, I could see everybody glancing at me. “Y/N,” Jean whisper-shouted. “What?” 

“You’re wearing a Slytherin tie.”

BTS as dads

Seokjin - The PREPARED dad
Jin visits all the seminars and courses for parents-to-be with you.
He is always fully prepared, no matter where you are, 24/7.
You think you forgot the bottle? Jin’s got your back.
Spending time with your kid is the most amazing thing for him.

Yoongi - The IN-CONTROL dad
He takes care of your child without breaking a sweat. The kid will always stop crying whenever he picks them up.
No one knows how he does it. Probably magic…
Yoongi enjoys taking care of your child so much, you can always rely on him.

Namjoon - The “PLEASE DON’T TELL Y/N” dad
He claims that he’s in control but has no idea what he is doing 24/7.
He actually breaks more stuff than the child but he tries his best and it’s very endearing. Also makes sure that his kid gets proper education.
Sometimes you come home and find him crying and the kid idly playing.
“What happened, Namjoon?”
“I dropped a book on my toe.”
“I swear I am raising two children.”

Hoseok - The MESEMRISED dad
Reenacts the lion king scene at least once a day.
“HAVE YOU MET MY BABY? I MADE THEM!”
Has 20.000+ pictures of your child on his phone and is very eager to show them off.
He likes to dance around the house with your baby in his arms and sings for them every night.

Jimin - The SOFT dad
Jimin became a full time dad when he first layed eyes on his child. He spends a lot of time playing and caring for them and he likes to be the one to carry the around.
He tends to falls asleep with the kid on his chest because of that and it’s the cutest thing ever. He is also very excited for them to get older, so he can teach them all kinds of cool stuff.

Taehyung - The BORN DAD
Has three kids strapped onto him at all times. Only two of them are yours.
Tae’s like a magnet, every child loves him.
He somehow gets never tired and loves spending time with them.
They are also all clothed in Gucci
He spoils them way too much, sometimes you have to stop him from ordering even more expensive clothes (because you’re running out of space).

Jungkook - The OVERWHELMED dad
Starts tearing up randomly. “They are so FRAGILE, we have to PROTECT them.”
Loves the kid so much but is also afraid he will drop it and hurt them somehow.
Looks to you whenever he’s having trouble being a dad. you have to show him the ropes at first but once he get’s the hang of things he will spend a lot of time with your kid. He is also extremely proud of your kid.

Originally posted by hihobii

-Admin Kruemmel