I wanted to try something a smidge different (only a smidge mind) and so have tried to capture the wonderful expression on Capaldi’s face as he struggles to clamber from his miraculously shrinking TARDIS whilst filming the new series of Doctor Who.
I don’t know if I 100% managed to capture him or not but I like it and it was done with Super Sculpey, so it goes to show you CAN get good detail from what is usually treated as a clumsy and low detail holding clay.
Welcome one and all to my first Sherlock Series Three review! You probably know me more for my Doctor Who analysis, but I’m a hardcore Sherlockian too, so expect this to be the first of many such writings.
As a fan of the original Arthur Conan Doyle stories, these reviews are going to combine a general appreciation of all things Sherlock, a piece by piece dissection of all things problematic (of which there are many) and my own personal take on the episodes.
So, here we go. The Empty Hearse by Mark Gatiss. Seatbelts on? We’re in for a bumpy ride.
“Whose penis is that, Dara, I thought you were gay? (Panromantic, dammit, mom, and it’s John’s.) Who? (*sigh* John Watson, mom.)”
“THAT’s Benedict Cumberbatch?! You told me he looked like a lizard! (LOOK AT HIM OMG) He’s really hot. (Just… wait…)”
“Martin is adorable!! (He’s a life-ruining little shit, mom, don’t fall for it)”
“That’s the Rupert guy you keep talking about? (Yes. If you would have bothered to ask.)”
“Look! More penises! And red underpants? Why? (You wouldn’t understand. Before your time.)”
“Why is everyone gay to you? (Because…. nyeh *flaps arms* That’s why.)”
“Who’s that? (Tom Hiddleston, mom.) Who? (Tom Hiddl— *sigh* Loki) OH he’s good looking. (No way I didn’t notice)”
“What the fuck is that?! (Again, Benedict.) He makes that face? (Often.)”
“Do you post stuff about me? (Yes.) Nice stuff? (Yes.) Liar. (Yes.)”
“Who is that guy, he’s reeaally good looking. (Mark Gatiss.) That‘s Mark Gatiss? (Yes.) I thought he was old. (He’s 47.) I’m 47. (*pointed look*) I’m not old. (Neither is he, mom.) But you said he was! (Never, in my life, have I called him old.) Who is the one you call old? (No one?) Yeah huh. The grey dog guy. (Grey dog gu— OH the silver fox?) Yeah him. (Rupert Graves and he is not old, mom.) How old is he? (50) Damn that’s old. (You shut your mouth, you heathen.) Excuse me? (You do not.) What? (No. Do NOT insult the silver fox. Ever. NEVER EVER.) What about George Clooney? (NO MOM NOT HIM EITHER JFC)”
"Really, what is up with the penises? (*shrugs*)”
“That’s a really nice draw-*scrolls* oh it’s porn. Great that’s great. Gay porn on your timeline great glad you are spending your life here, Dara, really. (Mom really. It’s called a dash not a timeline.)”
“Is that George Clooney? (Mom we’ve been over this. Rupert. Graves.) Oh, yeah. He’s kinda attractive. Weird nose. (Mom, I swear to God.)”
“Who is that and why does he have pointy ears? (That’s Lee Pace as Thranduil, the elf king in the Hobbit.) Couldn’t they dye his eyebrows? (Eyebrow game too strong for you?) What? (What?)”