you guys make me want to draw more but its not always gunna be good

He may be my teacher... Part 5

all chapters:

His hands were rubbing me while I felt his lips touch mine, his tongue touch mine, his breath touch mine. He was intoxicating. I moaned into the kiss. I then threw my head back as he applied pressure to my clit. He began to apply sweet kisses to my neck. Passion was written within each kiss. But who was this person kissing my neck?

“HEY WAKE UP” I heard as a big book slammed near me. I jumped up straight up. My math teacher was right in my face. “you will not waste my time by sleeping in my class. do you understand?” she said. I nodded and rubbed my eyes as I hear my classmates’ chuckles all around me. They were silenced when she proceeded with the lesson. That was just the cherry on top for my day(note my sarcasm). I didn’t get enough sleep this weekend. I couldn’t stop thinking about Mr.Malik, and to make the situation worse, I have him next class. I wanted to just ignore him but my mind is continuously introduced to new “what if’s.” What if he calls me back? What if he gives me detention again?

The bell rung and I started shitting my pants. I stood around th corner staring a the door. Mr.Malik was standing there, smiling and saying “Good afternoon ” to people walking by. “what are you doing?” Jenna shouted into my ear. “waiting for a crowd of students to go into Mr.Malik’s class so he doesn’t see me.” I told her. “okay weirdo, I’ll do it with you” she told. “fine” I told her “ here comes a group, stand behind them and put your head down” I commanded her. She giggled as she followed me as I got behind them. Michael noticed me , of all the jocks he really had to notice me. “hey babe” He said and put his arm around me. “um hey?” I said to him. I thought he forgot about me. “Sit next to me” He stated. “assigned seats, remember?” I told him. We began to pass Mr.Malik and onto the class room. I looked up at him and he looked back at me, I snapped my head back at Michael. “oh yeah.” He said. “Well, that sucks. Just know I’ll being thinking about you all class.” He winked at me as he went to his seat. “why the fuck did I like him?” I whispered to Jenna, and faked a gagging nose. I sat in my seat. Mr.Malik started to teach the lesson, well more like passing out a test. TEST?! I haven’t been studying. He interrogated basically most of my life this weekend. I groaned as he put it on my desk face down. I don’t want to fail. “Okay you all my flip over your papers and start” Mr.Malik instructed and sat in his seat. I flipped over the paper and read the first question. My eyes went wide. I didn’t know any of this. Is this even on the lesson we were learning? I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. okay, here we go.
After the test, I realized they were like 6 or 7 questions I knew out of a 35 question test. “I’m most definitely failing.” I mumbled under my breath as Mr.Malik collected my test. After he finished collecting them he passed out homework. A new lesson great. After everyone received homework the bell rang. As the stampede tried to leave his class, I made the courageous decision to stay back and talk to him. “May I help you ms.(y/l/n)?” He asked at his desk. I stood up and walked to him. “I knew nothing on that test and it’s unfair to assume I would still know the material after your interrogating this weekend. ” I told him. “Interrogation? I remember fornication and that’s it” He said. What a slick bastard. “you really expected me to study when all I could think about is you throughout the weekend and even in this class?” I said in frustration. He smirked, “you thought about me this weekend?” He asked, amused. “that’s beside the point. Please, don’t let my grades suffer because what we did is all I could ever think about.” you pleaded. “That’s not my problem, (Y/n). Sorry I can’t help you. ” He said. With those words ,that set me off. “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. this is your fucking fault. HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO FAIL ME. THIS IS ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT. YOU CANT JUST HELP ME OUT HERE?” I yelled at him. Mr.Malik walked slowly to me and got up close in my face “don’t raise your voice at me.” he said sternly to me. “then don’t fail me. ” I countered getting even closer. He held his breath. He leaned away from me and onto his desk. Legs and arms crossed. He scanned me with his eyes. It’s like he was eye fucking me. “ I won’t fail you only on 2 conditions.” I gave him a displeasing look. He better not be going where I think he is with this. “1. you actually pay attention in class AND study and 2. we have sex every once in a while. ” He said in a nonchalant manner. “ you’ve got to be fucking kidding me? it’s like your asking to go to jail.” I said through my gritting teeth. “ who says we’re going to get caught or going to get told on ?” He said . Each word was like a push for me to punch him in the neck. “excuse me, I will march to the principle right now and tell her what you’ve been doing.” I threatened him. Its one thing to do it every once in a while, but for him to use it against me. He had no right. “No, you won’t ” He said like I was bluffing. “pardon me”
“you won’t tell the principle because I have insurance. ” He said as he walked to the back of his desk. I have no idea what he meant by insurance. So I just watched him. He unlocked and opened a bottom draw. He reached inside and pulled out a black cloth, with partial lace.“shit.” I said under my breath. “See you won’t tell because I can say you are using that as an excuse because I can easily say that you flirted with me constantly, then maybe one day you decided to leave me a pair of panties and winked at me. And when I gave you Saturday detention for it, you purposely hit my nose. Then today you asked to fuck me I said no and told you I was going to tell the principle. But if you do choose and decide to tell then I’ll tell them my story which has a whole lot of evidence backing it up.” He said with a smile. “How will they be able to tell it’s my panties?” I asked.
“DNA testing, darling”
“I fucking hate you.”
“nah, c'mon you’re gunna love it. I do recall making you orgasm, twice ” He winked at me. I leaned over and put my elbows on desk with my head in my hands. Frustration and the feeling of guilt and realizations of stupidity ran through my mind. I was on the verge of tears. This is dangerous. I don’t think he understands that. He sounds outright evil and I hate to admit it but, he’s right, about EVERY FUCKING THING. From him being able to get me in trouble and from me liking having sex with him. I looked up at him holding back my tears. “the good guys always win” I told him. “If that was true then George Zimmerman would be in jail and you KNOW you won’t tell because think about all the comments they will say. ‘what a whore? what a bitch? probably has std’s? she fucked our teacher EW!’ I know you wouldn’t want that.” The frog in my throat grew as I got the feeling to cry. I kept them back. He was right,I just can’t taje hate, I can’t take rumors , I can’t take that. My fence isn’t that sturdy it can easily fall. Too much of something can make it outright collapse. He was right. “why? are you seriously doing this for your own pleasure?” I asked. “ I mean, good grades and a fucking buddy. I don’t see why you wouldn’t want to. ” He said. I rolled my eyes. “ I have no way out of this mess. So fine, let’s do it. ” He grinned. He put his arm out for me to shake it. I shook it. “ Okay, tomorrow, meet me here at lunch”

I didn’t even eat lunch. I just went straight to Mr.Malik. I passed through people who were heading to lunch and made it to his class. I knocked first. After a couple of moments he opened the door. I walked into the classroom. He closed the door and locked it. He grabbed my wrist and dragged me to the far corner of his classroom. He pushed against the wall and grabbed my face and kissed me, passionately. I responded with adding my tongue. He pulled me closer from my waist. I had to get on my tippy toes. The situation got heated real fast. I love this feeling. A warmth and an excitement began to circurculate through my veins. He put one of his hands down my pants and began to rub. Slowly but with a good amount of pressure. My stomach did cart wheels. He detached form the kiss and said “ Told you that you would like it.” I nodded cause he was right. I don’t like that he held this against my will, in order for him to raise my grade. It was like me sucking his dick as he dangled a paper with an A+ on it above my head. I didn’t like that. But I can’t lie and say I won’t enjoy it. “Here’s the the thing babe. I want to fuck you in privacy. Where I can do comfortably. So if we do it at my place, I can fuck you against my walls, in the kitchen, on my bed, in my shower, jesus! babe, you name it. So here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to give me your phone and I’m going to put my phone number in it. Then I’ll text you my address and that’s when you will start driving to my place. okay love?” He explained to me. I nodded and pulled my phone out of my back pocket and gave it to him.“ He grabbed it with his free hand but he continued to rub me as he did put his number in my phone. I closed my eyes and through my head back. He was going so slow which just made things more intense. Once he finished with my phone, he slipped it in my back pocket. He grabbed the back of my neck and made me look him straight in the eyes. "When I text you to come over, I expect you to be there in less than 20 minutes understood darlin?” He commanded. I nodded. He smiled then took his hand out of my pants. As he was looking me straight in the eye he licked his first three fingers. “ You taste good baby girl. I can’t wait to see you tonight” He said with a wink. He walked away to his desk. I stood there stunned. “I have something for you love.” He said as he reached down for something and pulled it out behind his desk. It was a gift bag. “Don’t open it until you get home and once you do get home, use it.” He instructed and walked over to me. I took it from him. He nodded to the door which instructed that I should leave. I made my way to the door and looked back at Mr.Malik. He was biting his lip as he smiled at me. He looked beyond content and he was a hell of a sight. I walked out his classroom. “good grades and a fucking buddy, I don’t see why you wouldn’t want to. ” repeated in my head.

Tragic Clues in PLL: Could they Mean More? + Montgomery family

In regards to this blog post on the movie Rebecca :

It hit me reading this line: When a new inquest is held into Rebecca’s death, things look dim for Maxim until Rebecca’s London doctor testifies to the authorities that she was dying of cancer and was contemplating suicide.

Ok im finally going to make a note about this . The cancer clues in PLL. There are a couple, I never thoguht they meant much but now im starting to wonder in terms of all the tragic clues that are in pll. Here what I found:

  • Suicide: So we all know the suicide associations related to marion cavanaugh and ian. What do they have in common? both suicides are suspicious especially marion cavanaugh , theres no way she comitted suicide. ian i honestly dont think he shot himself.
  • Cancer: There’s a couple cancer clues in PLL that were strange. Maya once joked about nair in shampoo bottles, thats a relation to cancer. We veronica’ secret about her breast cancer scare and that she didnt tell anyone but alex about getting a lump removed. The infamous dream hanna had about her mom’s hair falling out:

And last the infamous wig wearing going on in PLL, all in relation to cancer. of course , the obivous , to look like someone else. Could these clues be hinting at a bigger picture here?

Let’s look at all the other tragic clues in PLL:

Loss of Hearing: So many have noticed the jokes hanna’s made toward jenna, but thats not the first clue hanna gives us. In the christmas epsiode, hanna shares her ability of sign language. We see her signing with little claire who is deaf. Hanna claims she learned this at fat camp “what hanna knows is what hanna means” lol Now remember this scene, the mean girls here, the little ali replica is being a real bitch to poor claire who is deaf, the little ali replica says “ its not like she can hear us anyways” Do the writers throw these scenes in here for fun or do they have more meaning? I think they do.

UPDATE EDIT: someone on tumblr pointed out in the video pllheada​ of the little boy in 5x25 has a hearing aid , what appears to be a hearing aid. As i pointed out in this old post about tragic clues and clues on loss of hearing, this could be another clue to add to that!

  • Loss of Eye Sight: we all know the blindest person on the show is  jenna thats another story, but anyways the point is the jenna thing could have more story to it . But we also see other clues about seeing and the eyes and loss of sight. Mrs grunwald sees through a glass darkly , meaning we cant take her word 100% she has insight, not full truth. Theres also clues with aria not seeing things clearly. The NAT club the all seeing eye. EYES  are huge clue in PLL. Could there be more to this than what we alredy know?
  • Burned: Now alot of clues on being burned , gives us insight to whats going on in PLL. We know black veil and the side of the face burned. Tobys house , the lodge fire, all burned. Poor cyrus all burned up. Spencer in the sauna room all steamed up by -A (funny how aria just so happens to be the one to get spencer out of there just in time hmmm), caleb almost fried up. There’s something with heat and hot going on in PLL. Let’s look at the clues with aria and the burn references with her that seem to have more deeper meaning mentally, perhaps even physically:

aria “Lieing to my parents was one thing, but lieing to my friends is really hard, its not my friends that i dont trust ….its the other people..I’ve been burned before” could there be something more to being burned with aria? is it mentally burned or physical? this isnt the first time aria has expressed or been associated with the element of fire and heat. is there a contrast with cold and hot in pll? i think so.

Has anyone noticed how byron is always bringing up the past as if he screwed it up in the past? lol jsut saying everytime he’s bring up something about the past, dont think its a coincidence. So in this scene, byron says “ when we first moved into this house, we didnt have money for a furnace, it was winter, but we bundled you up in sweaters, you looked like this big ball of yarn rolling from room to room.We never used the fireplace, i was scared if we’d turn our backs you’d get burned. My one job on this job was to make sure you didnt get hurt. I havent done a very good job”

so again, in relation to aria, being burned is mentioned again, and the contrast between cold and hot. Look at this scene the fireplace going. The elements are big clues. Could this convo been about something more? byron seems to always bring up the past, he seems like a screw up in the montgomery family. Is there just the one meredith secret between him and aria or is there more to it or more secrets? i personally think there is definitely more to this family in general.

Note: why do you think byron likes to talk about the past and how ella “wore the pants” made a small place seem big, basically she took care of everybody all the time. They went from poor living in a college dump on east 6th an unexpected pregnant ella, byron felt bad he couldnt get them something better. But he talks about while they were still in college, they talked about moving to europe, but then aria happened, then mike, and a mortgage. So what changed? was it really because of the ella getting pregnant which doesnt seem like aria was planned. Then he goes onto say, iceland does not count, you were taking care of 2 teenagers and 1 nutty professor.  Questions are, why did they talk about moving to europe and what part of europe exactly? what if they did move there but had to move back for some reason? Remember this line from ella from 3x10 “ there were so many things your father and i didnt know about each other when we got married…(aria takes arm off ella and makes a face)” so something is off with byron and ella’s relationship, what happened in their past, an what are these things? byron has mental illness on his side of the family , who knows how far this extends to & how it has affected their relationship, what else did ella not know about byron vice versa?

*Something i noticed , remember when aria confronted ella about what byron did with the transcript and how he wants aria to go to boarding school. Something hit me when aria said “ what was the plan mom, were you gunna hall me off kicking and screaming in the middle of the night?” this reminds me of the bethany drawing :

just something to think about

! this picture does look like someone is being halled off kicking and screaming in the middle of the night. Also in that clip, aria’s tone was very different, she starts talking about being

exiled to syberia (doesn’t this sound a secluded place, like iceland? which is why i ask why iceland of alll places, what was iceland really about?)

then she goes onto say

“ i’ve couldve done something about it, i still could, what do you think would happen if the dean found out he was having an affair with one of his grad students? where do you think they’d send him?”

  now she says this after ranting about being punished by byron and being exiled to syberia. The choice of words here is telling , in connection to what we know about the montgomerys, coincidence?

ok question:

where would they send him? if we are talking about meredith, she was of age , byron wouldn’t be sent no where but home and fired from his job perhaps , but he wouldnt go to jail if thats what aria is trying to say. meredith was of age, unless it was more like an affair with an underage grad student?

ali was pretending to be older, it wouldnt be unlikely

, and many have suggested some relationship might have happened with ali and byron. im curious if anyone else understood this scene, you think aria was talking about meredith? where would byron be sent to exactly? as far as i know, he wouldnt be thrown in jail for the affair with meredith since she was of age right? he would be fired if anything but , the way aria is talking, is as if he would be sent somewhere bad for that affair. what do you think? you know when aria gets hyped and starts raising her voice, her mind seems to go somewhere else, the choice of words she uses are interesting. misplaced feelings ,anger?

Let me know what you guys think of these tragic clues and added on details in this post could they all be alluding to something more big? more underneath the surface?

rosewoodspy killerariaisa monariaisa mylittleliarstheories arias-rape-whistle thebestplltheories aplltheory buried-little-secrets prettylittleliarsbiga

photos above and vids, i do not own.

I cant help it, you're so sexy... (Swazz)

“Y/n come take shots with us!” i heard my bestfriend john yell from behind me as I’m walking up the stairs to my bedroom. Him and his friend Nate came over here to ‘comfort’ me because i had just been stood up on a date. The first time in a while i decide i like and guy and this is how it ends. Its bullshit really.

“Y/n!!” John calls my name obviously annoyed that i didn’t answer him.

“You cant just go hide in your room. You’re all dressed up. You look to pretty to let this guy get you upset.” Nate says to me and that pisses me off.

“Nate you set me up with this asshole, you made me believe that he was a nice guy and that i could trust him. I actually kinda liked him and to see that he ignored me all night to go to a party is bullshit. At the moment your getting blamed for this so i dont wanna here your mouth.” i say with attitude thick in my tone.

As i turn around back up the stairs i hear john whisper to him “why you say that you dick” and nate replies with an “ouch”. So im guessing swazz hit him. When i reach my room i hear him running up the stairs and i roll my eyes to myself. I speak first as he enters my room.

“Y/n Nate honestly didnt know this guy was going to do this. I told him that i didnt trust that guy at all but he promised everything would be okay. I will take care of them both for hurting you at a later date, but right now i want you to come back down with me and have some fun. You shouldn’t be bummed out. Your way to good for him and there are better guys for you.” he says coming up to me and wiping a tear that has fell from my face.

I turn away from him. I suck up my tears and put my emotions in check. “You’re better than this y/n” i tell myself. This guy was nothing to me. Im more bummed about the fact that i let someone in and was stupid enough to believe their bullshit.

I turn back around and john has a questioning look on his face. Obviously i said that out loud.

“Lets go have some shots!” i say being over enthusiastic.

John wraps his arms around my waist and picks me up, spinning in a circle.

“Thats my girl!” he says to me.

“Just out put me down alright!” i laugh out to him.


3 hours and many shots later im standing in my basement playing beer pong against Nate as swazz cheers me on. I promised Nate i would beat him as pay back for setting me up with that dick.
I just didnt know i would actually beat him. The ball bounces into his last cup and i still have 5 cups remaining.

“Damn y/n your really good at this. I cant believe you fucking beat Nate!” swazz says as he hugs me tightly.

“Its only because i was already drunk when we started.” Nate states trying to makeup an excuse for his lost.

“Take your L Nate!” swazz says back to him still standing with me in his arm.

“Well I’m about to take a uber home before i pass out in this basement” Nate says to us pulling his phone out of bis pocket. “Swazz you coming. I’ll be back to pick up my car when I’m sober.”

“No go ahead, i think im just gunna crash here if its cool with you. I can dive your car home in the morning.” john says looking down at me for a answer.

“Of course its fine with me.” i say.

“Alright, im out then. Y/n sorry for what happened with that guy. I really though he was an okay guy.” Nate says and hugs me goodbye.

“Dont stress it Nate, and I’m sorry for being rude earlier. I cant blame you for what he did.”

“Well thanks. And i want a rematch on that beer pong game one day.”

“I’ll play you again but ill still beat you.” i say back in a cocky but joking tone.

“Yea we’ll see about that. Peace out guys he says as hes walking out.

John still has his arm around my waist, he pulls me into his chest and we just stand there hugging each other tightly. I’m buzzed, no okay I’m drunk and the small circles swazz is drawing on my lower back along with his hot breath on my neck from his head being tucked there feels too good and i pull back from the hug.

“What was that for.” i ask swazz and he has a big grin on his face. He just as drunk as i am.

“I love your hugs. You’re warm and cozy.” he says to me and i hide my blush behind the hair that has fell in front of my face. He moves my hair and looks at me deep in my eyes. I laugh at him trying to be serious and he gets visibly aggravated with me. Rolling his eyes he grabs my hand and leads me upstairs to my bathroom.

“Find whatever product or wipe thingy you need and take off your makeup please. You have such a natural beauty you shouldn’t cover it up.” he says to me being more serious then he was before. Something is telling me that he isnt playing right now and i dont know what hes up to so i decide to just give him what he wants and i remove my makeup. After i took off my makeup and changed into comfy clothes I wait downstairs in the living room and pick out a movie and wait for swazz as he makes something for him to eat. The boy never stops eating. “Sweat pants, hair tied, chillin with no make up on. Thats when your the prettiest i hope that you dont take it wrong.” he signs as he walks into the room and sees me. “John stop being so corny!” i tell him and slap him on the arm playfully when he sits next to me. “I only speak the truth baby.” he says to me and even though the nickname stirs something inside of me i brush it off knowing he’s just paying with me. I’ve always had a small crush on him. I just kept it to myslef because we are good friends and i never wanted to make anything awkward between us. John eats finishes his food and sits back next to me on the couch. He throws his arm around my shoulders and i relax into his side. He picks out a scary movie ems i spend the entire time with my head tucked into his neck. Neither of us minding being so close to each other. Swazz is drawing patterns on my back again while messaging me. Each time his hands make a move it just works me up more and more. Soon im squirming lightly in his arms from the pleasure. Everything i feel right now is so overwhelming. I look up and him and he smashes his lips to mine. Kissing me passionately. I straddle his lap and wrap my arms around his neck kissing him back. His hands are messaging my sides, which is my weakness. His mouth moves to my neck and i let out s loud moan. “Fuck john. Your not playing fair.” I’m so worked up by this point and he knows it. He knows what his little games are doing to me and he continues to tease me. “I cant help it babygirl, you’re so sexy” he says to me in a sexy deep voice. He picks me up and wraps my legs around his waist, carrying me to my room. He sits me down on the edge of my bed and the roles have now changed and I’m the one kissing on his neck. “Y/n your drunk, i think we should slow down. I don’t want to do this if you’ll wake up and regret it.” he says to me but all i hear is him trying to back out of this and its too late for that now. “I want you” i whisper to him in his ear. “You have teased me to the point of no return john. Im not drunk on alcohol anymore, im drunk on you. I say to him playing with the baby hairs on the back of his neck. “Fuck it” he says and smashes his lips to mine. His hands roam all over my body. I pull off his shirt and he does the same to me. His pulls the cups of my bra down and his mouth goes to one of my nipples teasing and sucking it. His hands go to my shorts and i help him pull them off of me. He switches to my other nipple and his hand start to palm my clit over my underwear. “John please. Stop teasing me. I’ve had enough. I want you.” i tell him, hoping he’ll finally get the hint. He undresses us both the rest of the way till were both naked. He lays on top of me, between his legs and i can feel his cock growing harder as he kisses me. He raises hi hips and i think he’s about to enter me but he doesn’t. He thrust down only hard enough for him to rub against my clit, and he continues to do this at a slow pace. I grab him and start to rub him teasingly. Just like he’s doing to me. He’s moaning and breathing heavily and without warning i slowly push his cock into me. Once he realises what I’m doing he takes control and pushes the rest of the way in until his hips meet mine and hes deep inside of me. I moan out at the feeling of him inside of me. Hes bigger then i though. He pulls out slowly and pushes back in fast and deep and i cry out his name. “Ohh john, fuck you feel amazing” i tell him “God Your so tight baby.” john says to me. His thrust are deep and fast. I feel myself approaching my high quickly. Jonh lifts my knees so he’s thrusting at my gspot every time. I moan out his name as i cum. Rocking my hips continuing to ride out my orgasm and to push his out. John pulls out and cums on my stomach. His still hard dick laying on my abdomen surrounded by his cum. I find it oddly sexy. John grabs his phone and takes a picture of us. “What are you doing!” i ask him annoyed. Trying to take his phone from him. He shows me the picture and tells me to calm down. “Its only from the waist down and you can see any of your private parts only mine.” “Fine but you better send it to me.” He kisses my forehead and says “damn your kinky. I didn’t expect you to agree with me” “Hey its a memory right. Plus that’s kind of sexy.” i say and blush at him. Not hiding it this time. He cleans us up and pulls the blanket over our naked body’s. He pulls me into his arms and starts to talk “Thank you for tonight y/n. It was amazing. I like you a lot. I do. Im glad that guy stood you up and that i finally got to show you how a real man should treat you.” Im exhausted and i can barely comprehend what he’s telling me. “Can we talk in the morning please.” i ask him planning on continuing this conversation in the morning because right now im thinking i might have picked the wrong guy to take me out and now the right one is laying in my bed. “Of corse, but i wont let you forget. This is important.” he “ i wont forget swazz” “Promise?” “I promise” He kisses my forehead and says “goodnight baby” A/n: this was rushed and unplanned but i hope its still amazing. ✊

anonymous asked:

1: Hi! This is gonna get pretty personal so forgive me if I end up being a depressing bother. But... I've always looked up to you as an artist and I would do anything in order to be able to draw like you. What I'm trying to say is, do you have any tips? Beacuse I can't seem for the life of me draw anything that is very good and when I do make something that I feel proud of, I see something better that gets way more notes and I just feel like giving up. I want to draw but I lack the talent.

2: I don’t know. I just feel like I’ll never be good enough. That no matter how much I try, it never really matters. Beacuse there are always better artists out there that gets way more attention than my shitty art. I don’t know. I’m so sorry for being such a downer. That seem to be the only talent I seem to have. To be upset and make others upset. I’m sorry again for being such a bother. You don’t have to answer these if you don’t want to. Again, sorry for being a bother.

Hi Anon! You sound fairly young. But, Im gunna show you some really embarrassing old art of mine. Here you go.

this is literally some of the first digital art i ever drew. I was probably… 14? … 15? and what you see here was all drawn with a roller ball mouse. ( that dragon one was actually drawn in MS Paint too ) so yeah i was pretty bad starting out.

like really bad

but thats okay because I was just starting out, and I didnt know how everything really worked yet. Nobody expects you to be perfect when you’re just starting out with a craft ( or anything at all really lol )

I think the problem most kids have is that they see progress as a race? If you’re not perfect within a week or you dont get recognition and hit it big within a year, then you’re suddenly doomed to fail. But it shouldn’t be viewed that way at all. You wanna draw because its fun for you, because its something you wanna do. ( and if you want recognition. Draw fanart. like. seriously. just draw fanart out the ass. Constantly. and Consistently. lol but i digress )

The most important thing though is just be easy with yourself? Give yourself some slack. Maybe try and make a doodle once a day or so. Being active helps a lot too. Give yourself a small draw task daily if you can manage it. Most importantly though, dont be so hard on yourself if you feel like you’re not progressing as fast as someone else is. People just have different paces of learning and thats perfectly fine. A lot of people only see people’s success, they don’t see the, sometimes, years and years of work and time put into getting that recognition and level of artistic skill. Some people get lucky and get a one-hit wonder. Others gotta work a little harder. Thats just how it goes.

And yeah, there’s always gunna be better artists. Like that’s just a fact of life lol but that shouldn’t stop you from making art. That’d just be silly. That’d be like that one image I saw a while back ( i dont have it on hand, unfortunately ) with a baker saying “Well this guy can make a cake better than I can, better shut down my shop and give up forever” when most people literally go “OH SHIT TWO CAKES” like the same can be applied to art. I mean just look at fanart tags. Theres so many different varieties! Why would you wanna just look at the same one image over and over?

I had the same line of thinking a few years ago when I was younger. Like “what’s even the point” So I know where you’re coming from in feeling that way. A lot of artists seem to get in this pit of dread around the time they start to feel like they’re not improving. 

But personally what I found helped me was literally just comparing my old art to my current art and doing redraws of my old art. Because that way I could see my own progress that way. When you start to stagnate, that’s actually a good sign. It means you’re starting to see mistakes in your own work, you’re training your artistic eye better! and most of the time following that, you’ll see it start to change in your art.

But all in all, if you create something you’re proud of. Take that as a victory. Take every little thing you do to better your art as a little victory. Made some art today, but it turned out kinda crappy? Victory. At least you drew something today. Didn’t really get around to drawing at all? That’s okay too! Sometimes you just need to recharge. Just be easy with yourself! Make good art, make bad art. Just keep making it. You’ll get there.