you guys have been putting up with so much shit from me

Mischaracterization of Characters in Haikyuu

Don’t read this if you are not going to have an open mind about it. [Edited]


I am honestly sick and tired of characters being misrepresented here in the Haikyuu fandom. I’m not talking about minor headcanons etc, I’m talking about how more than half of the fandom have been mischaracterizing and diluting characters personalities, twisting them into something that is no way near their original intended character. Quite personally, this is probably one of the worst things you can do. So, right here, right now. I am going to go in depth of some of the most mischaracterized characters in Haikyuu based on my personal opinion. 

This is in no way to hate on any of them, I love every single person in the anime, each for their own individual attributes that make them unique, here, I am merely stating blatant facts based of the manga and anime. So if you like this sort of thing, sit back and grab some motherfucking popcorn cause this is going to be a long-fucking rant.


- Oikawa -

Listen here. Oikawa is not a whiny crybaby who cries all the fucking time, he is probably the most mischaracterized character in the entire fandom. He’s a strong guy who is dedicated to the thing he loves and ensures his teammates can play to the best of their ability. I get that all of us one way or another have an inner sadist in ourselves that makes up enjoy watching our favourite characters suffer psychologically or physically. But when people perceive, write, draw Oikawa as a boy who cries over the smallest of thing, whines, and overall is a weak little shit, it gets very annoying and frustrating. You are diluting his character seriously, tarnishing his real personality and character. And because of that half of the fandom sees him as this weak dude who breaks down and cries over the tiniest and most minuscule of things?

Look at him, does this look like the face of someone who cries all the fucking time? 

Let me say, Oikawa is bloody capable of destroying someone if he wishes. His serves are fucking powerful, and even Ushijima, one of the top spikers in the Miyagi prefecture, acknowledges that. So why do people characterize him as a selfish whiny asshole. You know very well this little ball of terror cares deeply for his teammates, not a self-centred asshole who asks Iwaizumi to bang his ass all the time. Also, why to some people whore him out? He isn’t that type of guy. Although I get that in various different contexts, the situation depends. But just so you know, canon Oikawa is very well a man of pride, I admit, he does whine, but to the extent of using emotional pity to get what he wants is just so out of character

I love Oikawa, probably as much as I love Iwa [IHajime is my favourite character in the series, if you did not know.] , that’s why it’s sad to see that he has been “re-written” by fans as this weak-ass teenager with nothing better to do than tear up all the goddamn time. Really, Oikawa is fucking strong as hell and though he may have a few insecurities, he will crush his opponents with his abilities and strengths. Not fucking whining. 

Even his teammates respect him and put all their trust and faith into this beauty of a captain, they know he can do shit to annoy them, but they acknowledge his true strength and believe in him no matter how dire the situation. He is Seijou’s captain, heartthrob of many high schools, and one of the most respected Setters. So for fuck’s sake, stop diluting his character more than people have already have.

- Iwaizumi -

I wouldn’t go as far to say Iwa’s is as bad as Oikawa’s, however, since he is my favourite character, and I may have a biased opinion towards this, I would like to say some things as to how he has been in some instances misrepresented in the fandom.

Stop mischaracterizing him as this big old brute who does nothing but threaten to hit Oikawa all the time, I mean, sure, he does that, but we all know it’s out of concern. As a personal writer of fanfiction, I often use this to express his concern towards his friend, not a threat, so why are there actually people who see him as abusive? It’s clear this is his way of caring for Oikawa and ensuring he doesn’t hurt himself or overexert his knee in practice. His aggression is just his own way of saying “I care for you so don’t do anything stupid”, also, I’m not very sure why people would think Iwaizumi is the emotionally “Stronger” one between him and Oikawa. If you need a refresher, Iwa isn’t able to keep in his emotions as well as Oikawa, seeing as the very person who told Oikawa the team with the better six is stronger, questioned his self-worth and position as ace because he couldn’t help his team win. In my unpopular personal view on this, Hajime may be more emotional than people make him out to be.

Another thing that genuinely upsets me is that this baby is as strong as Ushijima but doesn’t get the recognition he deserves? Like, give him some credit, his spikes based off official statistics state that it’s a 5/5, just like Ushijima. So can we please do what we can to spread that Iwaizumi is not just the other half to Oikawa and a person by himself as well? You shouldn’t only love him because he makes up the one of the halves to your OTP, you should also love him for the very fact that this baby loves Godzilla, is a huge dork, is a great Senpai, multi-athletic, and most importantly, the ace of Aoba Jousai, a powerhouse school. Give him as much love as you give everyone else. Okay? okay.

Now, moving on to the fandom aspect, may we please have more Oikawa taking care of Iwa? Just have more fanfiction or fanart with Oikawa reassuring he is enough? We have a rather huge amount of fan-related contributions with Oikawa as the person being constantly assured that he is enough and he tried his best. But may I please see more contributions with Iwaizumi being comforted that he is enough, and that he shouldn’t question his role as ace? I don’t know man, but I think Iwa needs that, he has to learn to recognise his own strengths.

- Tsukishima -

Tsukki is not only a salty french fry who looks down on everyone besides Yamaguchi. Tsukki is one of those characters with the best character development. I agree, he can be a dick, but he doesn’t doubt his teammates capabilities. For example, he may find Hinata annoying at first, however, he acknowledges that Hinata has too surprised him with his drive and determination to rise to the top, making him want to be in some way the “moon” that supports the “sun”.

Let me be in honest here. Before I finished watching Haikyuu, all I saw in Tsukki was an unmotivated dick, but after learning how the person he looked up to, in this in case Akiteru, lied to him and made his idea of “working hard to get you anywhere” fall apart, I realised that after knowing this, his character and personality made so much more sense. This boy went from someone who only saw “Volleyball” as a club activity to something he could actually put effort into. That’s right, he tries. This boy does tries. Shocking I know.

- Yachi -

Yachi is not just a girl who gets in the way of your ships. She is so much more than that. She, despite having a very obvious fear of confronting people she is not comfortable with still tries her very best to do what she can for the Karasuno boys. Don’t forget, this little sweetheart is the girl who helped come up with the poster for the team. She put in a lot of effort into that, so I think it would be nice to give her credit where it’s due even if you might not like her.

I personally feel that Yachi has undergone a lot of character development, she went from this fearful girl to someone worthy of being the next manager of Karasuno. She does her best to pick up what she can from Kiyoko so she can be as good of a manager in the future, if not better. So please stop hating on this cinnamon roll just because she might get in the way of you ships. She has done nothing wrong and I don’t feel she deserves hate in anyway, unless you can validify your point and give me good evidence as to why she is to be hated, this treatment towards her is completely unnecessary.

- Kiyoko -

Kiyoko is the classic case of fans over-sexualising her in fanart or in fan-related contributions. This beautiful lady is not just a woman with a big bust and no brains. Mind you, Kiyoko was an ex-athlete. She could whoop your puny ass in running if you try and I highly doubt you’d win. She was the great heroine who brought Hinata’s bag on her two feet excuse yourself. So please don’t paint her as this lady who all guys fawn over just because she is pretty, she has a personality and life too. See past that superficial layer and grow up.

Look at her, look how sweet she is. It is clear she is a little shy at times, yet she, like Yachi, do their best to express their support towards the boys. I think girls in Sports anime tend to receive more hate than usual, mainly with the idea they are a hindrance to your gay OTPs, hey you, what makes you think that? Can’t a girl be a nice to guy platonically? Even if they in fact to get together with someone who is partially but of you OTP, just congratulate them and move on for fuck’s sake. Stop sparking up unnecessary drama when you lack maturity to comprehend that they can do whatever the hell they want. If you are genuinely upset, just write fanfiction to feed your guilty pleasures, no need to hate on anybody.

Look at what a good senpai she is.

- Yamaguchi -

Okay, listen here you little shits. If you hate on this little precious smol cinnamon roll I will rip your throat out and shove it up your ass. Do not tell me that Yamaguchi is just this weak little boy who doesn’t deserve to be on the Karasuno team. Do not tell me that this boy doesn’t try to do his best just so he can play alongside his friends, because more than anyone among the first years, Yama tries the hardest. He finds someone who can teach him a jump float serve so he can prove to be a valuable player and not just a good ol’ bench-warmer. And you can see even if he might not be perfect, this little bean tries so fucking hard to have something he can contribute to the team’s success.

I don’t care if you don’t ship Tsukkiyama or not, honestly, I don’t give two shits about what you ship. But if you hate on him just because you ship some other ship, you are fucked up. What on earth did he do? He’s the best friend of Tsukishima, yes, I perosnally ship them both romantically and just as friends because I do have multiple ships alongside rare-pairs, but why hate on him? Boy, why hate on anybody? Can’t everyone accept that all characters have their on individual strengths, weaknesses, character, personalities? Seeing your NOTPs isn’t a valid excuse to create hateblogs or hateposts against other characters, that is just childish and immature.

- Sugawara -

Suga is not some weak-ass bitch who depends on Daichi for everything JesusFuckADuck. Stop drawing him as this overly-feminine character when his build is not that far off from Daichi’s. Note, I am not saying being feminine is bad, it’s good, definitely, however going as far as to make Sugawara a guy with almost no trace of masculinity left is a little odd. If that’s what you want, go ahead. Just stop portraying him as someone who can’t even defend hiself lmao, Suga will and can whoop anyone’s ass, do you not remember how painful his jabs can be? Even Daichi and Asahi fear him.

Look at him. He can be intimidating, an angel and a devil. He’s Karasuno’s mom alright, but he is a strong independent mother who will and can be strict if he wants to. He was Karasuno’s setter before Kageyama if you don’t remember, he is intelligent, smart and selfless enough to be willing to sacrifice his opportunity to play on the court, because he knows Kageyama taking his place was the best shot to give the team a chance at winning. Yeah well sorry if you’re butthurt if I said that, I just had to remind you guys, seems like some people forgot.

- Kuroo -

[ Contributed by @mayphenix and edited by me. Check them out. ]

Kuroo isn’t a sex god, he’s a dork who likes having fun, teasing his kouhais but knows when he goes over the top and apologizes [Like he does to Sawamura when he thinks he’s hurt Tsukki]. He loves science and is overall a huge little science nerd, currently attending college prep class as one of the top student’s in Nekoma. He’s very well capable of recognizing his opponents’ abilities and strengths, coming up with more than decent strategies to overcome them and pulverising them.

Yes, he is sexy but that’s not a reason to only see him as that. What about his passion and love for volleyball? It’s the guy who learned volleyball by watching on people play it on televsion [Which is pretty close to Volleyball genius Kageyama learning by watching Oikawa] and he’s fucking brilliant at volleyball but he doesn’t let it go over his head. He’s modest and he’s helpful towards his own school kouhais, but also players on other teams, just because he’s just that nice. He just wants to play volleyball and help his coach’s dream to be fulfilled; the Battle of the Trash Dump, live on the national stage. He is such a good person but he’s viewed as this mischievous, mocking and sometimes cunning guy when really he’s got his heart on his sleeve and helps out whenever he can.

- Bokuto -

[ Also contributed by @mayphenix​ and edited by me. Check them out. ]

Bokuto isn’t a fool who is self-centered and moody. Yes he acts like a dork, yes he is moody occasionally. But what matters most is that he has the capacity to pick himself and act like a proper Captain and Ace. [Not that we’ve seen it happen yet, they stated it may be a biased opinion since Bokuto is their favourite character. But I completley agree with them, Please note all this was in their perspective and I am merely adding it onto this master post.] They doubt Fukurodani chose him as Captain simply because he’s the most powerful player and has Akaashi to keep him in check.

In the manga and anime, they say that the rest of the team pulls him forward, and Akaashi says that a strong opponent doesn’t phase him, I believe we’ll see him being the one pulling Fukurodani forward when they need him the most. He takes a lot of pride in being the Ace of a powerhouse school and among the top 5 spikers in the Miyagi prefecture, but like Kuroo, he doesn’t let it get into his head. He also helps out younger players who aren’t even on his team, showing how much of a good senpai he can be. He’s pretty quick to figure out someone’s behaviour or character, since he figures out Tsukki’s personality very quickly. And in the last few chapters we’ve seen him analyze tactics and plays. One does not simply become among the top 5 spikers just because they’ve got big arms and power: They need to be clever enough to think of patterns and attacks and act accordingly to the given situation. He’s not only an owl-obssessed idiot. He’s not a burden and he leads his team proudly. He’s not just moody, he’s just free to be who he wants to be thanks to the trust his teammates have in him.

- Ushijima -

Okay, I want this post to be honest and true, so let’s make it clear. I did not like Ushijima at all in the beginning, not one bit. Which was immaturity on my part because I didn’t see his full story, I saw him as this pushy emotionless guy who had issues with Oikawa not going to Shiratorizawa. But boy, was I wrong. Ushijima is a giant softie at heart who just has trouble expressing his emotions normally, when he does do it, it may not come out the way he had intended it to be. And as a person who has trouble controlling their emotions, I relate to him a lot. Let’s not forget that Ushijima was a single child who was shunned by some people in his family for being left-handed, one of his relatives even suggested trying to correct it though we all know that is not the way to go.

The following is extracted from the Haikyuu wiki. “Ushijima doesn’t speak often, but when he does he bluntly says what’s on his mind and usually comes off as tactless. He will apologize if he realizes that he has insulted someone, but he won’t change his viewpoint.This boy is not some prick who doesn’t apologise alright? He is not a cold-ass villian with no tact, he is just not very emotionally connected our capable. As @manga-trashcan-pen​ has pointed out, Ushijima was an isolated child. Meaning he did not experience much social interaction which should have helped build his character and social sensitivity. He is a human with just as much emotions as anybody, for god’s sake this big bean’s favourite food is rice.

He is a captain who has faith in his team’s ability, he believes that only the strongest could have got onto his team and thus he makes sure to bring out the best in everyone.

- Tendou -

Tendo is a very sad character I would say. Not only was he bullied and ostracized in school, he was not liked by some of his peers even in the later part of his life, even though he is a very respectable and skilled middle blocker. Not only does he have the talent and skill to deduce an opponents moves, he has the physical capacity to actually do what is necessary to prevent it. It makes me a little sad that there are people who actually hate him, cause I absolutely love him and think he deserves so much more recognition.

Let’s back up a little and delve into his past. We know that this little red floof was bullied for looking like a “monster”, but when he moved on to highschool however, we can see so much more of his character as it’s obvious he feels more accepted in the academy. And though he may be at times a little annoying, he is still a little sinnamon roll, just like how he knew not to push on with Ushijima when the latter spoke about his family. This boy does have tact and knows when it’s enough to stop probing. He is not a over-enthusiastic dick who annoys everyone he sees alright? This boy who had no friends went on to befriend one of the most notable spikers in the prefecture. Even going as far as to call Ushijima his best friend.

Never forget what he said when they lost the match against Karasuno. He lost one of the only things that made him feel accepted and if that doesn’t break your heart then go get one.


Since I realised I left out some other really major characters, I have added on. And mostly because you guys like me venting??

This was with the help of other Tumblr users who have helped contributed to this post, I merely did a sum up. Credits and thanks to the following users for adding their share and pointing out other very mischaracterized characters, @mayphenix​ , @gayerthanchanel​ , @dragonarmada​ , @manga-trashcan-pen​ , and KingofhellLordofTime from my instagram.

In the edit, I covered other characters I have failed to mention earlier or who were not brought to my intention

Well, That’s it. That’s the end of this rant. Have a nice day.


That Night

I had just come out the shower and was now chilling in my boxers. There I was laying in my bed watching the Justice League DVD on a Saturday night while my room mate was out having fun at the club on this rainy night. In my opinion, this was a better way to spend my night instead of going out in the rain to get sick. I am Derek, a slender light skinned black male with brown eyes. I’m not much of a party enthusiast as most in my age category of 18 are but I am human and my dick was starting to make me aware of that fact as it ascended from slumber. If you haven’t guessed already, I’m a virgin. I lowered the TV volume and just as I was about to give it some attention, there was a text notification sound on my phone .

Me (Derek Towers)

My friend AJ hit me up on whatsapp. Now AJ was an attractive guy with an amazing ass and what I had to guess was a pretty good size dick. I could only imagine as I saw the outline once while we were on the beach. AJ was an easygoing fellow about a year older than myself. We met at my job at the hotel where I was a waiter and he was a lifeguard. He was cool and we got along great but he was ridiculously homophobic and there was no way I was going to let him know that I played for both teams.

After our conversation, I still had my little problem. I opened the tumblr app on my phone and scrolled down looking at sexy guys for hours, occasionally watching some porn video. Eventually, I saw a new story by my favorite author @morrisondauthor​ entitled  “Freak by Night 7: Freaky Sneaky.” His stories are always so sexy that I find myself ejaculating before I get to the end. I get so upset when he takes a while to post his stories because they give me life and take me to a world I could never imagine. For some reason, the context usually gets me hornier than the images he uses. I got to the good part and it made me so close to my climax when my phone notification alarmed me. If you haven’t guessed, it was AJ letting me know he got home safely. He went on to tell me about his night and how he had four rounds of sex with his date in her car and she came all 4 times. I was so jealous, I was trying to come once to satisfy myself and he interrupted me boasting about his extravagant time. Now all I had in my mind were images of his sexy ass f***ing her sexy ass in the car and my vivid imagination made me ten times hornier. I had to get my nut so I told him the truth.

Me: You got your nut now I’m going to work on mine

Him: With Pamela? 😂😂😂 Night. Don’t forget the jergens.

I didn’t dignify him with a response. Instead I went to the living room and sat in the couch with nothing on but my boxer briefs. My dick stuck fully erect through the hole in my boxers and I jacked away once again replaying Morrison’s story in my head imagining it was me coming down the stairs to a sexy surprise. The sound of the thunderstorm outside with sprinkles of rain violently pelleting the window fueled my hormones and I could feel my balls ready to release the seed from their constraints. Suddenly there was a loud crash at my doorstep synonymous with a lightning bolt outside which ignited fear into my heart and caused me to forget that I was horny. Cautiously I approached the door and peered through the peep hole to notice nobody standing in the hallway. Still my curiosity wouldn’t let me rest so I opened the door ready to put my self defense skills to the test if I needed it. Imagine my disappointment when I viewed my roommate, Kevin wet from head to toe lying at our doorstep in the fetal position. He appeared to be highly intoxicated and since he doesn’t have a car, I can only assume that a Good Samaritan literally dropped him at the door. As the epinephrine wore off, I started to realize that I was once again disturbed from achieving my natural high.

Even though I was upset, I couldn’t leave him there like that so I dragged him inside. Like AJ, Kevin was straight, usually requesting that I keep the “gay shit” to myself. Yes, he knew about me. I’ve known him since we were kids because we were neighbors and grew up living in each other’s homes. When I found out that I had a taste for both girls and boys, I was around 13 and Kevin was the only person I told at the time. His reaction to the news could have been better. He called me a faggot and stormed out of my house. We didn’t speak for weeks afterward. Eventually he came to me randomly one day and apologized. I couldn’t forgive him and asked him to leave letting him know just how much he hurt me. He didn’t give up though and proved himself from that day forth that he wanted to be my best friend again. He fought off bullies, walked with me home from school and acted like the friend he was before I told him. I forgave him after a while and we were boys again. He constantly tries to get me to go out and drink with him but like I said before, I really don’t have a taste for it. We got this apartment when we moved to Florida for college and we get along well despite his occasional battles with alcoholism. Even so, it’s never been this bad.Kevin loved the gym and he worked out every weekday evening at 5 and went jogging every morning at 6. He took his physical health very seriously which is why I never understood why he drank alcohol. He also managed to maintain above average grades for his track and field scholarship at UCF.

Kevin Dill

I lifted Kevin off the floor and even though he was rather heavy, got him to the bathtub and removed the wet clothes from his barely responsive body. I haven’t seen him naked since we took baths together as kids but when I saw his naked body I had to step back and admire the marvelous muscular masterpiece. My eyes wandered to his dick which wasn’t even hard yet his uncircumcised attachment was 7 inches long and fatter towards the base. I finally snapped back into reality left to get a glass of warm water and an empty bucket in case he vomited. I ran some warm water in the bathtub and thoroughly bathed him. I couldn’t believe I was cleaning a grown man, but I didn’t want him to go into hypothermia. Not only was he drunk, but he was also wet from the cold rain. He started to gain a reasonable level of consciousness.

“Derek? What are you doing?”

“You’re drunk and cold just relax and drink this.”

I gave him an aspirin and the glass of warm water and watched him take it.

“I’m naked”

“I know”

“Why?”

“You were wet and unconscious”

“You couldn’t let me sleep it off?”

“I’m sorry would you rather get a cold or die from dehydration and hypothermia?”

He sucked his teeth, “you didn’t have to remove my boxers.”

“Hey if it’s wet it comes off.”

“Get out,” he said covering his private area.

“Nope, you could pass out at any minute. Look, I already lifted your heavy ass in here, removed your clothes by myself then took my bare hands and wiped your dirty ass. In fact it was my hands that peeled back your foreskin and cleaned your penis. It’s a little too late for modesty.”

He was speechless so I said, “What’s that on the floor? Pick it up you’re making a mess.”

He looked down, “What? What are you talking about?”

“Your bottom lip, now get out the tub and come dry off”

“Ha Ha…very funny,” he sarcastically mumbled as he stumbled out the bathtub.

I was right there to catch him with a towel and prevent him from falling. I began to dry his body when he smartly remarked, “I can do it myself you know”

I removed my body support and he dropped to the ground barely breaking his fall with his forearms.

“I thought you had it.”

“Help me up”

“Help me up what?”

“Help me up please”

“Help me up please what?”

“D’, I’m not saying that”

“Ok,” I began to leave the room.

“Fine, Please help me up Supreme Overlord Towers”

“No problem.” I helped him up and noticed he had an erection.

“Friend of yours?” I teased.

“Shut up!”

I assisted him to his bedside and helped him slide on his boxers.

“I feel so embarrassed,” he admitted

“Why? It’s just us here, chill.”

“This is not fair. You’ve seen me naked now and I even got hard,” he slapped his face in embarrassment.

“We used to bathe together all the time, washing each other’s backs and laughing at each other’s nakedness. What’s the big deal?”

He couldn’t make eye contact and stayed quiet so after sucking my teeth, I slid off my boxers, threw them to the side and danced around in a circle wagging my dick from left to right.

“Woah!” He exclaimed.

“Now I don’t have on anything. Are you happy now?”

He laughed hysterically, “that’s not what I meant.”

“Go to bed.” I helped him lay down and covered him with a warm blanket.

I turned around to leave but to my surprise, he grabbed my hand, “Please, don’t leave me again.”

“Again? I never left you.”

He burst into tears, “yes you did. When I called you by that word and you got upset with me, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I never wanted to lose my best friend. Those were the hardest months of my life, I never even cried over a girl like that.”

Confused, all I could say was, “This must be the alcohol talking.” I turned to leave again.

“Please!” He shouted.

“Okay, okay, just don’t yell like that again. The neighbors are sleeping.”

“Sleep here tonight.”

“If that would make you feel better, fine, but don’t vomit on me please.” I went to the corner to get my boxers.

“You don’t need those.”

Once again, confused but internally contented. I happily obliged, turned off the light went on the other side of his queen sized bed, pulling the covers over my exposed body.

“Good night.”

“Good night.”

The sound of rain pattering on the window echoed in the room and I was falling asleep. Unexpectedly, I felt a warm gentle touch on my dick that slammed the emergency brake of the train to dreamland. My dick was being massaged by none other than my best friend. I silently protested in my head not wanting to disturb the amazing sensation I was feeling which caused me to leak pre-ejaculation fluid. My brain finally gained control and I managed to stop him.

“Wait, what are you doing?”

“Shh. Just let it happen.”

“Now you sound like a rapist. This has to be the alcohol affecting you. You are not in your right frame of mind.” I got up and as I was standing up to leave, he pulled my hand and I landed supine right on the side of him. He lay against me leaning on his side I could see the shadow of his head in front of me and I could feel he was staring at me. Lightning flashed and I saw the look in his eyes that paralyzed me for that moment. I felt the heat radiating from his head increasing in intensity as he slowly approached my face. I felt like Chris from Get Out in the hypnosis scene, helplessly watching this happen through the windows of my eyes. When the eternity passed and he connected with my lips, the curtains closed but I could sense the brightest flashes of lightning outside. I regained control and participated in the best kiss of my life. Opening our eyes and pulling apart met us with nature’s fireworks applauding our performance.

“Wow,” we chorused.

He grabbed my body and brought me into a passionate make out session, rubbing his well toned body against mine allowing me to once again feel it’s shape, this time against my own. He went down to the left side of my neck and started sucking on it while rubbing his hands all over my back down to my bare ass. I hate hickeys but the euphoria was too intense to stop. I felt electricity flowing through my body as he continued. He kissed his way down to my left nipple and I expressed a soft moan. It felt like there was a string directly attached to the pleasure nerves in my dickhead. He continued kissing down my abs until he got to my pubic hairs and he got up. My eyes opened reacting to the sudden pause. We breathed deeply and synchronized.

“I never did anything with a dude before,” he admitted

“I’m still a virgin,” I countered.

“I know.”

I felt my face blush with embarrassment only to be aroused with pleasure at the immediate moist warm sensation that came from the head of my dick. Did he really just put my dick in his mouth? I looked down and he continued down the nine and a half inch solid shaft managing to get half of it in his mouth. That was the most mind blowing feeling in my life.

“You sure you never did this before?”

He chuckled and continued up and down repetitively sending me to a new level of heaven. He paused again and I couldn’t handle any more suspense. I reversed our positions and did exactly as he did to me in the same sequence. I thought my reaction was intense but as I sucked his neck his hands went all over my body and their favorite place was my ass. I worked my way to his nipples and he let out the sexiest deep moan that I couldn’t compare to all my years of watching porn. It send jolts through my body causing me to be extra turned on. I couldn’t take it anymore, I had to know what that dick tasted like. I skipped his abs and went straight to his pubic hairs which like mine were short lavishing in the musk they produced. I licked his dick from the base along the underside to the tip where I licked around the head tasting the pheromones produced. I experimented sticking my tongue in the entrance and he jumped.

“That was intense!” he smiled

I continued taking his head in my throat and he rewarded me with another deep moan. I continued my assault down the shaft attempting to go as far as I could. I made it as far as about 3 inches when ii felt my teeth hit his skin and I pulled back thinking about how much that hurt.

“Easy with the teeth baby”

Baby? If I wasn’t black I’m sure my face would be an apple right now. I tried again, this time opening my mouth as wide as I could and I made it down 5 inches of his eleven before I started to choke and retreat for air. He moaned again and that made me determined to get to the base. I went for it again this time holding my breath and swallowing as I went down fighting hard to resist the urge to cough. I think I made it as far as 9 inches that time but it was as far as I could possibly go. He let out another deep moan lasting longer than any of the predecessors.

“Damn baby no girl ever committed to going that far down.”

I was happy to satisfy him but after that I went up and down taking in only what I could manage, slobbering all over that sexy tool of his. After a few minutes, he pulled my head up and lead me in another intense kiss.

“I want to make love to you baby.” He stared intimately at me.

“How?”

“I want to fuck you.”

“You gotta let me fuck you too”

“No way I’m letting you anywhere near my ass with that thing.” He protested

“And I’m supposed to let you in mine?”

“Yeah but I love you and I want to prove it to you by taking your virginity.”

“I love you too and you can prove your love by letting me fuck you and take your virginity as well”

“I’m not a virgin.”

“Your ass is.”

“You always did have a smart mouth. It’s one of your most attractive qualities.”

“Well, the ball is in your court”

“Ugh….Okay, just go easy on me please.”

“I could say the same.”

“Okay turn over.”

“Umm no. We need to do a couple things to prepare first”

“We? Things like what?”

“Yes we! Come on, I’ll show you”

I went in my bedroom and grabbed my fleet. It’s a good thing I got two new bottles just in case a miracle happened. Didn’t think I’d get to use them so soon. I researched online how to prepare a long time ago and even practiced a couple of times. I taught Kevin what to do and after a while we were ready. We returned to his bedroom and turned his desk lamp on dimly. The patter of the rain was the only sound for a brief moment.

“That felt wierd,” he complained.

“Well there’s one more step we have to take,” I handed him the tube of lube.

“Hold on no need to rush just yet, I want to taste that ass first,” He kissed me intently then moved both of my legs up and attacking my asshole like it was his last meal. I don’t know which was better, that blowjob or the other level he was sending me to while he ate me. I felt his tongue go places that I didn’t know anything could. All of a sudden, I had this epileptic episode I couldn’t control. I was so weak after he finally finished with me. He grabbed the lube and inserted a finger inside my hole to open me up. He worked his second finger in there. and was about to enter.

“You better go up to 4 fingers, that thing is huge”

The third finger hurt like pins and needles. and the fourth was even worse. I really thought I was bleeding. He waited until I was comfortable, somehow managing to remain hard during the entire exercise. I guess he was as horny as I was. He entered me in the missionary position and I felt a sudden sharp pain as he passed my sphincter that sent kilojoules of electricity through my body. I cried and wanted to stop but he held me down and comforted me,

“Relax baby, just relax.”

I took slow deep breaths until the pain eased and he did not move. He waited until I was comfortable before he continued penetrating me at a steady pace. He didn’t go all the way in but he started a slow rhythm with about three inches of his massive meat. He only went further when I was in agreement. I stopped the rhythm and pushed him on his back without severing our connection. Gently I lowered myself onto his rod taking inch by inch until to my surprise, I fit the whole thing in there. I was so proud I almost didn’t notice the euphoric look on Kevin’s face.

“Damn baby, you sexy as f***,” he complimented.

I began a steady rhythm on him and I could feel him hitting my spot every time. Our session went on for a while. We went in every position we could imagine possible until he had me on my belly leaning against the edge of the bed drilling me.

“Hold on baby, you’re going to make me come,” I warned.

“That’s the plan baby,” he smirked.

I realized what he was trying to do and used every will power I had to stop myself from coming and resist him, ending that part of our session.

“You think you’re slick. I’m f***ing your ass tonight.” I retaliated.

He had a look of disappointment on his face but he lie back, removed his condom and succumbed to my wishes. He lie on his back rolling his eyes and pulled his leg up to reveal the prettiest pink spot I’ve ever seen in my life (only one I saw in person but it didn’t compare to anything in porn). I had to treat something so precious with the utmost care. I gently licked it for a few minutes before I let my tongue explore every delicious crevice of his ass it could reach. I imagine his ass would taste like ass but his was surprisingly sweet. I stuck my tongue inside and was shocked when I heard a deep moan escape his lips. I guess he was enjoying this as much as I was. I continued until I tasted something extra sweet and when I looked at it, it was a white fluid. I think he came from his ass. Damn I made him cream from eating him. I couldn’t believe it. His ass was moister than my tongue and I tasted as much as I could before grabbing the bottle of lube. I didn’t think I’d need it but I did not want to hurt him nor did I want him to chicken out. I inserted 2 of my fingers and they went in without a struggle. I had to fight with the third and fourth because his ass had a constant death grip on them. I positioned myself for entry and took it slow with him, exercising as much care as he did me. Like myself, he seemed to experience discomfort with the infiltration of the head. So I repeated the process and let him get used to it. After a while, he told me to go ahead. I started a slow rhythm  and carefully eased inch by inch into him until i was working 5 inches inside him. Without warning, he reversed the situation and put himself on top like I did. He started riding me. I was speechless but it felt so good when he slammed all the way down onto my dick taking all of it. He looked so sexy, I watched as his pecks vibrated and his ass jiggled moving up and down on me. He was so sexy I wanted to cry at the beauty I was beholding. His mouth was wide open and his eyes closed with his head tilted back moaning. He was enjoying this as much as I was. Once again we had another session with multiple positions until I was backshotting him. He creamed on my dick again throughout the experience. It felt so good, I knew I would climax soon.  He tried to run but I managed to pull him back every time. He said it was too intense and he couldn’t take much more, begging me to cum.

“What’s my name?”

“Derek”

“Wrong!” I violently pounded him.

“What’s my name?”

“I don’t know.” He cried.

“Yea you do,” I pounded harder, “what’s my name?”

“Supreme (moan) Overlord (moan) Towers,” he cried out in pleasure. With those words, 2 weeks of tension building erupted into the condom flooding it with life fluid. I came for a minute straight. I didn’t even know that was possible. The condom had the most cum I’ve ever seen in my life inside and I have know idea how all that fit in there. I looked down to see that Kevin came too. His sheets were soaked in his liquid release. There was so much I was sure he produced more than I did. We struggled to catch our breaths for bout five minutes. It was still raining and we took a shower together and had another make out session. We dried off and went to my room in our birthday suits. He spooned me and we had a long intense discussion even though it was now 3 in the morning.

“I wanted to do that for a long time,” he admitted.

“Why didn’t you?”

“I was afraid.”

“Of what? I’m your best friend.”

“I don’t know. I panicked that day you told me and the reason I freaked out is because I didn’t know how to react. I developed feelings for you and didn’t know how to express myself.”

“All these years and you wait until now to tell me. So what now?”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..


Disclaimer: Persons in the images used are not necessarily as the story describes do not reflect their character or sexuality. They are a mere depiction of each character’s features. However if there is a problem, please write me and they will be replaced by similar entities

© I. Black 2017

AFTERCARE WITH DOM BTS

Seokjin:

★heart eyes at you p.1

★his dom mode would dissolves seconds after you’ve both come down from your highs

★he’d feel so happy and warm and fuzzy and like he could explode into rainbows

★he’d help you to the bathroom to clean and prepare yourself for bed

★then he’d bust out the matching pink pyjamas so you can sleep in style

★he’ll offer to make you food

★but you always say no

★because you’d rather cuddle with him rather than have him in the kitchen cooking

★sings you to sleep in that beautiful voice of his

★his plump lips will press kisses all over your face as you began to drift off

★loves to trace shapes on your skin

★when you wake up, he’ll have a huge breakfast made

★'jin, you didn’t have to’

★'you need your energy back!’

★'maybe some toast, then’

★'eAT IT ALL! BREAKFAST IS THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL. SPECIALLY AFTER A NIGHT LIKE WE HAD’


Yoongi:

★aftercare varies with yoongi
★if he’s tired, he’ll just pull you close and shower you with kisses and ‘i love yous’ as you both fell asleep
★but if he’s not ooooh boy
★he’s gonna cuddle you close to him
★and whisper nothings in your ear
★maybe he’ll get you turned on again
★and you two can go another round
★maybe not
★he’ll be so gentle with you
★he’ll gently wrap you in blankets
★kiss all over you
★GIVE YOU SO MUCH PRAISE IN HIS GRAVEL VOICE
★'you made me so proud, kitten’
★'you took all of me so well’
★'tomorrow, i’m going to treat you like a king/queen all day’
★he’ll let you rest for a while before taking you into the shower
★will let you pick something from his wardrobe to wear to sleep in
★you’ll do so much talking when you’re like this
★he’ll tell you about song ideas
★you’ll tell him how school/work is going
★it’ll just be lovely


Hoseok:

★this precious angel thrives on feedback from you
★sometimes he worries that he didn’t do a good enough job
★if you tell him how good he made you feel
★shit son you’re in for a nice of none stop kissing and nuzzles
★seeing you post-sex is his favourite time to see you
★so he probably takes 342309832 photos to look back on when he’s on tour
★you ask anything from him, he’ll do it
★want a bath? sure
★order pizza? no problem
★want a penguin from the local zoo to join in the cuddles? yeah, give him 20 minutes
★loves staying naked to cuddle
★'more intimate’
★he has a speical playlist for times like these
★full of smooth jaz
★and some ye old love songs
★which sometimes he’ll sing along to
★when you fall asleep, he’ll tuck you in and give you plenty of kisses


Namjoon:

★oH DADDY™
★he’d laugh as you both settled from your highs
★'i think that’s the best sex we’ve ever had’
★he’d say it after every single time
★and it was true
★sex with namjoon got better and better
★he’d push hair from your forehead
★and gently pepper your lips in kisses
★when he’d made sure you were alright he’d go run you a bubble bath
★he’d sit behind you in the tub and let you rest against him
★would quote some poems he’s revised
★or softly sing your favourite song
★tbh the aftercare part with nams is better than the sex
★sue me
★when you’re done in the bath he’ll dry you and put you in your pyjamas
★then honey get ready
★because this guy ain’t letting you move from the bed


Jimin:

★he’ll clean you up
★then help you put on your pyjamas
★when you’re both settled in bed, he’ll just go full teasing mode
★'you should’ve seen your face!’ he laughed as he mimicked you
★'oh jimin~~~’

★'look how red your cheeks are!’

★just let him tease you and giggle then he’ll get to the cuddling
★he has to be the big spoon
★don’t fight him on this
★you’ll end up being death gripped by his thighs
★he likes sniffing your hair
★bc your shampoo is one of his favorite smells
★but he won’t admit that
★he’ll probably wake before you
★and make plans to take you out for breakfast


Taehyung:

★heart eyes at you p.2
★like holy shit this guy will just turn into a big ball of mush
★you’re his
★you’re his jagi
★and he loves you so much????
★you make him feel so warm and fuzzy
★he’s just stare at you and give you praise
★'you’re beautiful when you’ve been fucked good by Daddy’
★'you’re such a good girl/boy’
★don’t you even dare try moving after sex
★will play with your hair until you fall asleep
★won’t fall asleep until he knows you are


Jungkook:

★sMUG
★'who made you feel that good?’
★'who made you scream so loud?’
★'JUNGKOOK SHUT UP’
★after that he’ll be back to his normal self
★he’ll flop next to you and play with your hands
★after a while he’ll grab his phone and order take out
★will probably feed you if you’re too sore to move
★if you’re both not exhausted, he’ll put on the tv

The Other Guy

summary: pietro proves to y/n that bucky is into her by doing everything in his power to make him jealous

pairing: bucky x reader, pietro x reader [pretended]

word count: 3.6k+

warnings: mentions of smut, jealousy, annoyed bucky, confrontation

a/n: literally wanna vom just thinking about hurting bucky like this i would never also this is shit but its been chilling in my drafts for 8 millions years so i decided to post it

“You are so full of shit,” Y/N laughed, absentmindedly stirring the oatmeal in her bowl. She sat at the kitchen island, blinded by the early morning sun, her pink sock clad feet swinging above the ground. She was dressed in only her tiny pyjama shorts and a hoodie, hair messy and the side of her face slightly red due to the position she slept in.

Pietro stood by the counter, dumping a bunch of different berries into a blender. It was only 8:30am and most of the compound was still fast asleep. Y/N and Pietro, however, made plans the night before to get up early, train together and then go out and buy a present for Wanda; Pietro’s way of apologising for crashing her date a few days back. The witch hadn’t spoken to him since and Pietro was slowly growing exasperated. 

“I’m serious, Y/N,” Pietro chuckled, putting the lid on the blender and glancing at her over his shoulder. “He’s into you. I can prove it.”

Y/N shook her head, rolling her eyes and pushing another spoonful of bland oatmeal past her lips.

Pietro switched on the blender, his back facing the shorter girl as he worked on preparing his usual morning smoothie. The loud noise of the blender continued to buzz inside Y/N’s ears even after Pietro had switched off the appliance. 

“I’d like to see you try, Maximoff,” Y/N smirked, provoking a quiet laugh from the speedster’s side. He popped off the lid of the blender, glanced inside to make sure his smoothie was ready and then made his way across the kitchen to grab a glass.

“I’m going to murder Bucky if he keeps eating my cereal. This stuff is gross,” she complained, pushing her bowl away with a roll of her eyes. She couldn’t understand how Steve could push the tasteless oatmeal past his lips. Unfortunately, since Bucky had cleared the cupboards of her usual breakfast cereal, she didn’t have much of a choice.

“Yeah, right. You wouldn’t lay a finger on Buck if your life depended on it,” Pietro laughed, soon realising he had to empty the dishwasher in order to find a clean glass. He bent over, focusing on the task at hand as Y/N pushed herself up and placed her bowl of oatmeal in the sink.

“You know me all too well,” she murmured, glancing inside Pietro’s blender and then back at him to make sure he wasn’t looking. Realising he wasn’t, Y/N grabbed her glass of water from the island, dumped the contents into the sink and hurried to fill it with the berry smoothie instead. When she was finished, she hopped onto the counter and sipped innocently on Pietro’s drink until he finally realised what she had done. 

“Thief,” he narrowed his eyes at her, abandoning his mission of emptying the dishwasher. He looked towards the now empty blender, realising he’d have to make more if he wanted to have a berry smoothie for breakfast. 

“Not a thief. Bucky’s a thief because he stole my cereal. I’m just… taking what’s rightfully mine. I did the grocery shopping yesterday.”

Pietro laughed, making his way across the kitchen and coming to a stop opposite Y/N.

“I don’t think he’d like to hear you say that. He’s too into you to not be upset by such words,” he teased.

“Right, he’s so into me he keeps stealing my cereal to piss me off. So romantic,” Y/N rolled her eyes sarcastically and Pietro shook his head at her. He watched her expression as she sipped on the smoothie, wondering if it tasted as good as he hoped.

When Y/N didn’t say anything about it, Pietro took a few steps forwards so that he was standing between her parted legs and reached for one of the straws sitting in a glass container behind Y/N on the counter.

She quirked a brow as he slid the straw into her glass. He leaned in, captured the end between his teeth and took a generous sip of the smoothie.

“Um, excuse you,” she objected, trying her hardest to hold back her laughter.

Y/N held the glass in both hands, far enough from herself for Pietro to drink from, and yet not far enough to not feel his breath on her skin. They were standing only inches apart and to anyone watching the interation could appear to be awfully intimate; so it wasn’t a surprise that only seconds later Y/N had to tear her eyes away from Pietro upon hearing someone clearing their throat.

Bucky was standing leaning against the doorway, arms crossed over his muscular chest, one eyebrow cocked expectantly. He eyes the two Avengers already occupying the kitchen, then focused solely on Pietro with a confused glance. 

The speedster didn’t acknowledge Bucky’s stare, only looking at him for a brief second before turning back to Y/N. He placed the straw back between his lips and sucked. 

When Y/N looked down at him, Pietro was smirking knowingly. 

“Morning, Buck,” Y/N said cheerfully, trying to seem casual despite Pietro still standing between her parted legs, his hands now resting on either side of her hips, mindlessly humming as he continued sipping on the smoothie. He stepped even closer.

“Morning,” Bucky grumbled in response, strolling past the two of them and yanking open the fridge. He glanced inside, grabbed a tub of ice cream from the freezer and shut the door with unnecessary force. He found a spoon in the cutlery drawer, once more glanced at Pietro and Y/N and headed towards the exit.

When he was out of sight, Pietro finally retreated, clearly satisfied with himself by the shit eating grin across his face.

“What the hell was that about?” Y/N whispered, scared Bucky might still be close enough to hear. Pietro plucked the now empty smoothie glass out of her hands and chuckled as he placed it in the sink.

“Told you I could prove to you he’s into you,” he answered nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders and reaching out to plug out the blender.

Y/N crossed her arms over her chest. “By almost feeling me up in front of him?”

Pietro scoffed. “I did no such thing,” he protested. “I’m going to prove to you he’s into you. With my help, his possessive self will be asking you out within two days.”

Y/N expelled a humourless chuckle. “Sure he will.”

“I can guarantee you that. Go and change in your training gear and we’ll get started right away,” he challenged, and Y/N eyed him suspiciously before sliding off of the counter.

“Fine, but if this doesn’t work out, you’ll be the one explaining to everyone why you’ve been all over me for two days,” she told him sternly, pointing her index finger in his direction.

Pietro grinned, holding his arms up in surrender. “Fine by me.”

By the time Y/N was dressed in her training gear, her hair brushed back into something that reassembled practicality, Pietro was already waiting for her outside the gym. She appeared behind him with a bottle of water in her hands and managed to scare him a little before he pushed open the door.

“Good choice of clothing,” Pietro commented quietly, nodding towards her shorts, “They’ll surely get his attention.“ 

Y/N walked past, looking at Pietro over her shoulder and furrowing her brows in confusion.

"His attention?” She questioned, and then finally realised that the gym wasn’t empty like she had expected it would be. Steve was running on the treadmill and Bucky was beating the hell out of a punching bag. When they entered, Steve waved a quick greeting but Buck only grumbled, causing Steve to shoot him a confused glance.

Y/N and Pietro strolled over to a bench at the end of the room and set their stuff down.

“I knew he’d be down here after what he saw in the kitchen. He’s probably picturing my face on the punching bag. He needs to blow off some steam,” Pietro murmured, only loud enough for Y/N to hear. 

When she looked towards Bucky, she noticed sweat sticking his hair to his forehead. She looked elsewhere, deciding to take a sip of her water.

“It’s a shame you’re not the one helping him do that. I’m sure it would be more satisfying for him - and you - if that punching bag wasn’t the only thing getting pounded by him.”

Y/N began to choke on her drink. Her body shook with violent coughs, getting the attention of the other two guys across the room. Y/N could feel tears pooling in her eyes as she attempted to stop herself from quite literally… dying.

“Is she alright?” Steve called out, stopping the treadmill as Pietro hit Y/N on the back, attempting to stop her from choking.

When she calmed down, she answered feebly, “I’m fine. Pietro was just… telling me a funny story.”

Bucky scoffed at that and Y/N almost didn’t catch it, but she did; and so did Steve.

“What’s wrong with you this morning?” He asked his best friend, but Bucky only shrugged, watching as Steve headed off to do some heavy lifting.

Pietro nodded for Y/N to follow him to the padded flooring. They did some stretching in silence and while Y/N worked on her arms, she spared another glance in Bucky’s direction. 

His sweat soaked shirt had disappeared and his face showed deep concentration as his fists furiously slammed against the surface of the red punching bag. He was light on his feet, sweat trickling down his face and chest, damp hair pulled back into a messy high pony. He looked damn good.

“Ahem,” Pietro pretended to cough and when Y/N looked back at him he was smirking. He had clearly noticed her staring and was amused by the expression on her face. Pietro handed her her sparring equipment.

“You’re drooling,” he noted, and she smacked his arm playfully.

“Am not,” she protested, finally pulling on her gloves and making her way towards the centre of the mat.

She made sure she was steady, got into position and when Pietro was ready the fighting began. Y/N pulled a few of the signature moves herself and Nat had come up with, and it wasn’t long before Pietro was lying on his back on the floor.

He got up each time and by the fourth time Y/N had him on the mat, she was growing kind of bored. That is, until Pietro managed to kick her legs out from under her and she fell with a loud thud. The silver haired speedster was quick to pin her down, one hand around her neck, the other holding the back of her thigh which she had wrapped around his waist.

When Y/N glanced to the left, knowing that the round was over and that Pietro would retreat any second, she noticed Bucky watching them from the sidelines, using a black towel to wipe the sweat from his forehead. Pietro seemed to notice him looking, too, because soon he was leaning down and bringing his lips to Y/N’s ear, his hair covering her eyes so she could no longer see Bucky.

He remained silent for a second then whispered. “He’s going to leave in three… two… one”.

The door to the gym slammed shut.

Pietro pushed himself up, his grin once more appearing. Y/N’s wanted to roll her eyes at his confidence but she had to admit, Pietro was damn good at this. It was as if he had his sister’s powers and could read Bucky’s mind. Then it hit her.

“Wanda told you he’s into me, didn’t she?" 

Pietro looked like a deer in headlights.

He inhaled sharply, then sheepishly admitted, "yeah, okay, she did.”

“Which means you’re not as cunning as you think you are. Which means this could not end as well as you expect it to." 

He shrugged his shoulders. "To some extent, maybe.”

Y/N narrowed her eyes and then next thing Pietro knew her legs were around his neck and she was forcing him down onto the floor, swiftly moving to pin him down, face first on the mat. She held his hands behind his back.

“You’re an idiot,” she told him, and Pietro laughed in response, hissing when she pulled at his wrists.

“An idiot who’s helping you get laid.”

Their sparring session continued for another twenty minutes, followed by some cardio and lifting. Steve seemed to have followed Bucky because he was no where to be seen and Y/N didn’t see either of them before herself and Pietro left the compound to buy Wanda’s gift. 

Finding the perfect apology present took them the majority of the afternoon and after grabbing lunch together and arguing over whether or not Pietro’s plan would work, they returned home. They waved a quick greeting to all the other avengers who sat around the lounge before heading straight to Y/N’s room to wrap up the gift.

Of course, the process of them wrapping up the present resulted in another play fight over which colour wrapping paper and how big of a bow to use. This led to Y/N’s hair looking like a bird’s nest, her already baggy sweater falling off her shoulder and her sticky lipstick smudged across her cheek.

By the time they were finished, they both looked like a mess and Pietro had bits of tape stuck to his face like a child on Christmas morning.

He thanked her for the help before heading to his room and asked her to tell Wanda to find him.

Y/N didn’t bother fixing her appearance before heading to the lounge where everyone else was sitting around watching a rom-com. As asked, she told Wanda that Pietro wanted to see her and then headed to the kitchen to grab a drink. 

There, Bucky was already making coffee. He remained silent, leaning against the counter as Y/N grabbed a mug and dumped a tea bag into it, staring at the buzzing kettle between them. 

When she looked up, Bucky was studying her carefully.

“Your, uh… Lipstick is smudged,” he told her, pointing to his own mouth rather sheepishly. Y/N grabbed a paper towel and said nothing as she began to wipe it off. Bucky continued to look at her.

“No, you’re just making it worse,” he chuckled lightly and took the towel from her hand, stepping closer to help her. Y/N stayed unmoving as he held her chin lightly, wiping off the redness. 

“Thanks,” she muttered, hearing the kettle switch off.

“You need to tell your lover boy to be less sloppy,” Bucky noted, stepping back and throwing the tissue into the trash. Y/N cleared her throat before moving over to pour the boiling water into the two mugs.

She didn’t say anything to his previous words and when their drinks were made, they both headed back to the lounge. Bucky sat down between Nat and Steve and Y/N situated herself on the vacant love seat to the right of the TV. 

She tried to focus on the screen but she couldn’t help but feel Bucky’s eyes on the side of her face. However, every time she’d glance over at him, he’d look away as if nothing happened.

It wasn’t long before Wanda and Pietro returned, both smiling, obviously having made up. Wanda quickly situated herself on the pile of cushions and blankets on the floor and Pietro moved across the room to where Y/N sat. 

He made himself comfortable, his head in her lap, casually glancing over at Bucky to check if he was looking. Out of pure curiosity, Y/N looked over at him, too, and felt disappointment when she realised he wasn’t looking back at her. Instead, Buck’s eyes were glued to the screen, his arm casually thrown over Steve’s shoulder, his lips pursed.

Maybe he wasn’t jealous the way Pietro wanted him to be.

The movie continued and when it ended, Bruce got up to put on the sequel. This gave everyone an opportunity to go to the toilet, grab more snacks or chat for a while. It was then Pietro rolled over onto his stomach and looked up at Y/N, almost as if he knew she wanted to say something.

“I don’t think he’s all that bothered. Maybe he’s just not a fan of PDA in general,” Y/N whispered to him but Pietro only rolled his eyes. 

He remained silent as he pushed himself up into a sitting position, threw his arm over Y/N’s shoulder and pulled her legs over his lap. Y/N didn’t say anything but she could already feel Wanda and Tony eyeing them curiously from across the room; and although she wanted to explain to them there was nothing going on between her and Pietro, she remained quiet.

The movie began and the lights were switched off, the late hour resulting in a cozy dark room. It was getting kind of chilly, courtesy of Tony’s inability to sit in a room without the windows open, so Y/N didn’t actually mind having Pietro to cuddle. In fact, when his hand began slowly stroking her calf, she wiggled even closer and nuzzled her face into his chest. 

Suddenly, Tony spoke up.

“So, uh, am I the only one who’s confused about what’s going on?”

Y/N lifted her head and looked over at him to see what he was talking about. Upon realising he was already staring back at her with a confused frown, it only took her a second to figure out what the hell he meant. 

“Since when are you two a thing?” Tony continued, chuckling a little. “Yesterday I heard you two calling each other names and now here you are.” He waved his hand in their direction rather dramatically. “Doesn’t anyone else find it weird?”

Natasha then decided to pipe in. “Yeah, I mean, I’m a little confused myself. I thought you liked that other guy.” By other guy Natasha clearly meant Bucky, having been the person who listened to Y/N ramble about her crush day and night.

“What other guy?” Bucky asked, looking from Nat to Y/N, but both of them only shrugged, not wanting to give it away.

“Guys, that’s enough. Let them be,” Steve decided to interfere, not liking the way in which this conversation was heading. He wasn’t very fond of the rest of the group holding this intervention. 

“Steve, stop pretending to not care. You were just as confused as everyone else after what happened in the gym today,” Bucky announced, and the rest of the group looked at each other, almost as if waiting for someone to elaborate. No one did. 

“So,” Tony once again spoke up. “Dare to enlighten us about the situation?” He eyed Y/N and Pietro again. Y/N was seconds away from telling everyone the whole truth. However, before she even managed to open her mouth, Pietro was already speaking.

“I don’t know. We’re just sorta… hanging out, I guess,” he tried to seem casual.

Bucky scoffed, looking at Pietro as if he had lost his mind.

“Hanging out? Please, cut the bullshit." 

At this point, the whole room was holding its breath.

"You damn well know I like her and you’ve been rubbing your new relationship in my face all day. But let me tell you one thing,” he turned to Y/N. “Whatever it is you two have, it won’t last longer than a week.”

Y/N remained silent for a moment, and so did everyone else, not wanting to interfere. Even Steve seemed to have locked his mouth with an imaginary key and kept his preaching to himself for once. Then, after several seconds, Y/N finally responded timidly.

“Truth be told, it wasn’t gonna last more than two days.”

“What?” Bucky’s brows knitted together into a confused frown.

Y/N inhaled sharply and groaned at his stupidity. She pushed herself up from the sofa. Uncertain, Bucky stood up, too.

“I’ve been hinting that I like you for months! Who do you think this other guy Natasha mentioned was, huh? It was you, you absolute dumb ass! I’m not into Pietro for God’s sake!”

Sam began laughing but Wanda clamped her hand over his mouth.

“Wait, what?”

Y/N rolled her eyes at Bucky’s stupidity and Steve got up, placing a hand on his best friend’s shoulder.

“I think what she means, Buck, is that her and Pietro were trying to make you jealous,” he explained, but Bucky only looked more confused than before.

“What?”

He simply couldn’t get any slower.

And so, not seeing any different way of going about this, Y/N breathed in and began trudging in his direction. Afraid Y/N was on her way to smack him for being silly, Bucky took a step back and fell back onto the sofa. His eyes displayed utmost confusion as Y/N climbed onto his lap with her legs on either side of him, grabbed his face in both hands and kissed him. 

Right there. In front of the whole team.

A series of cheers, shouts and whistles followed. Bucky’s surprise melted away and soon he was wrapping his arms around Y/N’s middle, pulling her closer and kissing her back. It didn’t last long, but the kiss was pleasant, and when Y/N retreated, she realised everyone was still looking at her.

Catching Bucky’s gaze, she smiled sheepishly and knew that he finally understood what she meant.

“Does that explain it?” She murmured, and Bucky nodded, lips swollen and gaze blazing. 

Y/N sighed in relief and when she turned her head to look at the rest of the team, Pietro was cracking up at the other end of the room. He stood up, brushed off his jeans and said:

“You owe me one, Y/N.”

She smiled, turning her gaze back to Buck when the brunette finally spoke up. “As do I.”

It’s a [Tinder] Date! (Part 1/3)

Summary: Thinking he needs to find a date, Natasha signs Steve up to Tinder. In Queens, Peter Parker does the same to you. It’s a match! 

Word Count: 1,723

A/N: This is already planned out and written (in my head). I loved writing this.

Originally posted by imaginingbucky


Nat raised a brow, a mysterious curve to her smile. Steve was immediately suspicious. He felt his shoulders stiffen and his back straighten. He knew he looked like he had a stick up his ass, but he couldn’t help himself. Not when Natasha looked like the cat that had eaten the canary, and wanted to get caught.

“You left your phone on the coffee table,” she said. Her tone was relaxed, which made Steve more nervous.

His eyes narrowed. “What did you do, Romanoff?” he questioned, broad arms crossing over an equally-broad chest.

She merely shrugged before she turned her right-hand palm-up and relaxing it. Steve’s phone was revealed. “See for yourself.”

Keep reading

Queen Penny

Rewind the clock by a couple of decades and I was working as a team lead for an office supply store. This office supply store has a “copy center” where staff members would print, copy, and scan stuff for customers.

Enter “Penny”. Penny was a middle-aged woman who would come in every Friday smelling like wine, dressed somewhat elaborately, and who would make ridiculous demands on the copy center staff. Penny: crazy lady!

Penny’s weekly Friday afternoon visitations had been going on for a while before I ever became aware of her. She would come in with elaborate letters including photos, keepsakes, etc written to England’s Royal Family - various members from the Queen to Prince Charles to Fergie. She would make the copy staff photocopy the letters, demanding perfection to the point where she measured the margins to ensure the contents copied were in the exact center of the page. Then she would make the copy center staff package the letters and, when she did include something such as photos, inspect the packing to ensure the tape was perfectly even and pay the shipping to Buckingham Palace in London. She would frequently make the copy staff read the photocopied letters back to her. When they had initial refused to, she had called district management and complained so this request was honored whenever she asked.

Keep reading

Say That Again

Summary: Soulmate AU. Everyone hears a key word or phrase in their head from their soulmate, something only heard in person when the moment is right.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,543

Warnings: language, self-consciousness, fluff, that’s basically it

A/N: This is my submission for the lovely wonderful talented @bladebarnes’ 2k Celebration Challenge. My prompt was 35. quote: “Say that again.” I saw Baby Driver recently and couldn’t get the diner thing out of my head.

Originally posted by coporolight

Keep reading

Dating Peter Parker Would Include.....

Homecoming spoilers. Pin for later when you’ve watched the film. :) I repeat, spoilers. SPOILERS.

  • Being his best friend, aside from Ned, of course.
  • Living just across the hall. It was actually how you two met back in the day when he used to visit Aunt May and Uncle Ben.
  • Struggling and mourning the loss of Uncle Ben, because let’s face it, you adored those two with all your heart. (They used to babysit you whenever your parents needed a last minute babysitter)
  • Rubbing the fact that Aunt May loves you more (even though she loves you two the same) in Peter’s face.
  • Enduring all of Aunt May’s larb jokes whenever you join them for Thai.
  • “I larb you, Peter. And I larb you too, [Y/N]
  • “Okay, Aunt May…..enough.” 
  • “What? You don’t larb me? Am I too lame to be larbed? Too cool to larb your awesome aunt? Not enough larb to go around to your good ole aunt? Saved all your larb for you one true larb, [Y/N]? Huh? Hm?”  
  • “Uh….we larb you too?” 
  • “Thank you, [Y/N]. At least someone larbs me.” 
  • Being completely supportive of Peter getting an internship with Tony Stark. 
  • Offering to help him with his internship.
  • Getting slightly offended that he doesn’t want help.
  • “Am I not smart enough to help you?” 
  • “What? God, no. It’s not that…..it’s um….I just have to do this on my own, that’s all. You know, no help. Strictly myself….” 
  • Competing against him with academic scores. 
  • Being extremely competitive with each other when it came to exams.
  • Going back and forth on having the highest grade.
  • Talking about going to the most prestige college and then changing your minds because you two could never leave Aunt May. 
  • Putting up with Ned being needy. 
  • “Ned….this is a date….between two people.” 
  • “Oh cool, I love pizza. I’ll just sit down right here and take a slice.” 
  • “Ned….” 
  • “Yeah, so anyway, you two should come over and help me build my lego deathstar. It’s legit.” 
  • Bickering with Ned, constantly. (But, loving him just as much as Peter)
  • Getting along great with Michelle. 
  • Roasting Peter and Ned into oblivion with her. 
  • Like full on roasts. It’s fantastic how long you and Michelle can go. 
  • I mean, it’s almost not fair how hard you go. 
  • But, in the end, Peter loves you and is sort of relieved that you get along with the people in his life. 
  • Movie marathons.
  • Cuddles for days.
  • Like the kind of cuddles that make you all warm and fuzzy inside.
  • You know, the ones where you just sigh happily in his arms and think that Disney World ain’t got shit on being the happiest place on earth. 
  • Netflixin’ and chillin’, (if you know what I mean, wink-wink) Forgive me, I forget that’s he’s fifteen. No sir, keep that in your pants now, you little rascal. And you? Don’t be puttin’ out, miss. 
  • Geeking out over Star-Wars, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, etc.
  • Going to Comic-Cons and dressing up.
  • Building and experimenting to the point where Aunt May and your parents scold you two for almost blowing up the complex.
  • Although, it’s not like you actually could blow up a building to that magnitude. 
  • And after the fire department threatened to arrest you two, you put an end to experimenting. 
  • Peter making you a playlist on your ipod. 
  • Listening to it all the time because you just love the songs he chose. 
  • No seriously, this playlist makes your heart stop with every song.
  • Peter always getting you your favorite muffin for breakfast before school.
  • He’ll even leave it at your front door in a cute little handwritten paper bag if he’s sick for the day.
  • Always being told he loves you.
  • Because, you’re the best thing that ever happened to him. 
  • You being embarrassed when he tells random strangers that he loves you. 
  • Like, you’ll be walking down the street and he’ll look at the old lady walking her yorkie, “Excuse me, m’am. But, I just want you to know how much I love this girl right here.” 
  • Peter.” 
  • Then flagging down a taxi to tell the driver too. “Hey, yeah no, I don’t need a ride. Just wanna tell you that I love my girlfriend.” 
  • Peter even telling Happy who always responds with, “Can’t wait for the day she leaves you.” 
  • Him keeping his double-agent life a secret.
  • Because he doesn’t want you to get hurt. 
  • Constantly wondering why Peter’s free time is slowly diminishing. Because you can’t quite believe the internship was that demanding.
  • Worrying that Peter was going to break up with you. 
  • Peter finding out about your worries through Michelle. (Who threatened to skin him alive should he ever hurt you.)
  • Taking a night off from his “internship” to take you out.
  • “Peter….we’ve been on the train forever.”
  • “Have a little bit of patience, [Y/N].” 
  • “Where are we going? Does Aunt May know you’re out right now? How much longer? Is this going to be forever? Are we running away from our problems? Running from being millennials and trying to fit in with society? I didn’t pack anything. How are we going to survive the outside world?” 
  • Peter intentionally ignoring your million questions by putting his headphone in one ear and other in yours. 
  • Playing your favorite song to keep you quiet.
  • Realizing he’s taking you to Central Park. 
  • Almost on the verge of tears when you find out that he organized a candlelit picnic under the stars. 
  • Seeing Ned in the distance as he walks away and knowing that he had a hand in it.
  • Smiling and feeling secure that Peter is here to stay.
  • Getting a weird feeling that he’s still hiding something.
  • Unsure of how to go about asking him what he’s hiding because you don’t want to cross a line.
  • Michelle not caring and confronting him before coming back to you and confirming that he is hiding something because of the way he acted.
  • Feeling uneasy but forcing yourself to believe that Peter would tell you everything and anything because you two were on the same level and understanding about your relationship.
  • Using the Washington D.C. trip to curve your mind from it.
  • It failing when Peter decides to re-join the decathlon team. 
  • Forcing yourself to ignore the gut feeling that Peter is hiding something when you asked him why he decided to re-join.
  • Peter being completely oblivious to your uneasiness.
  • Pushing it to the back of your brain when Liz scolds you for not having your head in the game.
  • But it coming back when Peter doesn’t show up for the decathlon. 
  • Corning Ned and demanding where Peter is and why he isn’t answer his phone. 
  • Getting irritated when Ned stumbles over his words. 
  • Becoming so upset that you tell Ned to tell Peter that he better have an explanation or else they would be over. 
  • Visiting the monument with everyone with the exception of Peter (obviously) and Michelle who passed on the tour. 
  • Ignoring Ned when he tries to talk to you.
  • Liz concerned that you were upset and asks if you want to talk about it.
  • About to confide in her when the elevator of the Monument starts to malfunction.
  • Peter freaking the hell out when Michelle screams, “My friends are up there!”
  • Panicking and pleading Karen to help him find a way to save you and everyone else.
  • Trying to stay calm even though your heart is about to flip out of your chest.
  •  Getting mad all over again because you were going to die pissed off at your boyfriend. 
  • Spider Man saving you just in the nick of time. 
  • Being so traumatized over the ordeal and Peter not being there, you lash out on him when he finally decides to make an appearance. 
  • Michelle shaking her head, “You messed up, dude.” 
  • “[Y/N], wait! Please, I can explain.” 
  • “Explain? Explain?! I’m going to need a whole encyclopedia of an explanation, Peter. Can you give me that?
  • Ned trying to diffuse the situation. 
  • Getting even more pissed off and breaking up with Peter.
  • Michelle whistling (because she didn’t see it coming), “Man, that’s rough. You gonna be okay? Actually? I don’t care. Bye.” Running after you to make sure you were going to be okay. 
  • Ignoring all of Peter’s texts and phone calls.
  • Having your parents stop Peter from coming into the apartment even though they felt you were being silly. (They adored Peter)
  • Sitting in your room with a pint of your favorite ice cream while watching stupid rom-com films. 
  • Crying when the guy gets the girl.
  • But telling yourself, you’re better than that and that you don’t need Peter.
  • Crying again because you need Peter. 
  • Hearing a knock on your bedroom door and getting mad because you just know your parents let him in. 
  • Yanking open the door to find a worried Aunt May.
  • “May? What’s wrong?” 
  • Her coming into your room, “I know you and Peter are fighting right now but have you heard from him?”
  • “No, I haven’t. I actually haven’t received any texts or calls from him today….” 
  • “Where is he? He’s been gone all day. I’m freaking out, [Y/N]. I’ve called every precinct and coroners office.” 
  • Being speechless because it is very unlike Peter to not check with Aunt May. 
  • Her on the verge of tears, “I can’t loose him too.” 
  • Grabbing your jacket and your phone, hugging Aunt May tight and telling her you’re going to find him. 
  • Spending hours before finding him sulking in hello kitty pajama pants and an awful touristy tshirt. 
  • Awkward tension as you text Aunt May and telling her you found him and that he was on his way up.
  • Knowing that there was something wrong but not wanting to engage because you were still mad at him
  • Eventually breaking because you still love him.
  • “I lost the internship with Tony Stark……” 
  • “I’m so sorry, Peter. I know how much that meant to you.” 
  • “Yeah…..” 
  • Letting him go. 
  • Regretting not hugging him or comforting him. 
  • Going back to your apartment to sulk and eat another pint of ice cream. 
  • Turning on the television to torture yourself with more rom-com’s. 
  • Witnessing Spider Man and Iron-Man save a bunch of people on a ferry.
  • Dropping your spoon and ice cream as it hits you. 
  • Running into your room to grab your journal. (you wrote daily)
  • Comparing the dates and times of when Spider Man was spotted and whenever Peter claimed he had the “internship”.
  • Finding a consistent pattern. 
  • It dawning on you that Peter Parker is Spider Man. 
  • “Holy shit.” 
  • “That little shit!” 
  • Running out of your apartment and across the hall.
  • Banging on the door. 
  • Aunt May answering with a concerned look.
  • Ignoring her and pushing past her to go straight into Peter’s room.
  • Busting in and then closing the door behind you. 
  • Marching straight up to his startled, adorable, puffy eyed self. 
  • Punching him in the arm and then covering his mouth when he lets out a yelp.
  • “You’re Spiderman?! Spiderman? Seriously? That’s what the internship with Tony Stark was about? What the hell, dude.” 
  • Peter being completely in shock that you found out. 
  • Standing there in complete silence for almost half and hour. 
  • Him finally explaining how it happened. 
  • Understanding why he didn’t want to tell you but still a little salty about it. 
  • “So…..are we okay now?” 
  • “……..” 
  • “[Y/N]?” 
  • “……..”
  • Baby.” 
  • “Fine. We’re okay but don’t you ever keep secrets from me ever again.” 
  • Everything going back to normal. 
  • Him showing you all his nifty tricks.
  • Feeling bad that he got his suit taken away. 
  • Trying to make him feel better by telling him he doesn’t need the suit. 
  • Ned being ecstatic that you know. 
  • Because now he can finally talk about it with someone other than Peter. 
  • Ned not shutting up about it. 
  • Peter showing you a different view of the city.
  • Planning romantic dinners on roof tops. 
  • Or well, kind of romantic.
  • It’s mainly subs and sodas.
  • But it’s the thought that counts, alright.
  • Making you promise that you will run away whenever something bad happens. 
  • Vowing that he will never let anyone hurt you for as long as he lives because aside from Aunt May, you are the most important person in his life and he does what he does to protect you. 

Fuck. I didn’t think I’d get this many people requesting to be tagged. This literally took me forever…..


@tryn25 @dailygubler @monsis-world @ucchan71 @igirl7plus-sky @adrianapoynter @lilspacefreckles @autumn-blessings @crazyfreckledginger  @iamaholland  @heyjaemin @ricvallerie @jor-da-na @beanie-boy-jones-iii @fandoms-enthusiast @actual–hobbit @unabashedlyswimmingtimemachine @im-a-screwedup-mess @narwhal-t-sharon @jennytorres7510 @multifandomtreasure @laurencacce @ouxiwen @al1forever @italianwarcry @herbeautifuldarkness @endergirlz224 @jjgirl4797 @fadingpoetryobservation @bananananananananapeel @lenanullings-x @crystalsinwater @iamabromieomie1234 @itzprincessss @momcanupickmeup @thesupercameraguy @quackson-clackson @queenvoiid @fandomobsessedcrazyfangirl @aimeepeeps @senpaipineapple @rubyeun @lotuseatermura @stranded-moonchild @snape-vape @visi0n-aries @boredashellokay @waywardtrashfam @dylansoneverland @akc-12 @stopthatslytherin @fantasticallyobsessedwithbeasts @teenageheartbreakersus @deathofthethrones @emilychatterbox @brokutooo @arielseviltwinsister @21skelotonpilots @sunny-day15 @quokkatrash @natalia-is-a-penguin @darkminds-collide @starspangledmadds @t-xy @biancalled @maybe-one-day-someday @captainaudreystark @weehawkendawngunsdrawnyouron @mcoolicann @shenanigans-and-broken-hearts @britishfancyturtlebraindead @mentamaree @fourtayl688 @cubitorx @dibs-on-pony @meamandaobrien @needs–a–life @1022bridgetp @toulose @papichulosebs @nich98-blog @letsalinathings-blog @lucyneedsmoremakeup @half-bloodbitch @plzimjustanegg @sweet-nightingale-171 @classiccandian @mayahart02 @sailrs @just-in-case-iloveyou @tomfeltonisbae @ringo-starr-is-a-star @5s0sssss-pizza @nickycookie @the-girl-on-the-mirror 

anonymous asked:

What do you think about an “i picked up your bag at the airport but i can’t find your number so i’m about to embark on the largest scavenger hunt of all time by using your strange belongings to track you down” au with charmer or nurseydex or zimbits or something??

Well, I don’t know if you expected three mini fics, and I didn’t fully follow the prompt, but here we are.

1. Charmer

Look, Chris knew it was dumb. He knew that everyone on earth had a plain black suitcase, he knew he should have double-checked the luggage tag, he knew it was important to be sure abut these things. But knowing what he should have done couldn’t help him when he finally got his suitcase home and opened it up to find mostly yoga pants and sundresses. 

Fuck.

He zipped the bag back up and flipped open the luggage tag. It was cute, pink with some metallic lettering saying “I’m outta here!” in a handwritten font. Chris blamed jetlag and the redeye flight for making him miss the fact that it wasn’t his Sharks tag. He blamed the bag’s owner for not filling out any of the information on the tag.

Dammit.

Well, sorry random girl, he thought. He opened the suitcase up again to try to see if he could find anything that would give him a clue as to who the suitcase owner was. He moved a makeup bag aside, and hit gold immediately. Well, Samwell red. A Women’s Volleyball tshirt– mystery suitcase girl had to be on the volleyball team.

“Hey Ransom!” he yelled. “You’re facebook friends with all the volleyball team right?”

“He’s friends with everyone on campus!” Holster yelled back.

“Ask their captain if anyone flew in from the Bay Area and lost their luggage!”

_X_

“Is Justin here? My captain said he’s got my suitcase.” Chris overheard her at the door. He grabbed the bag and started hauling it downstairs. As he set it down at the bottom and caught sight of the girl in the doorway, he froze. She was pretty. Like, really pretty. 

“Um, hi,” he said.

“So you’re Justin? Oh my god, I’m so glad it wasn’t some total rando who got my bag.” 

“I’m actually Chris, Justin was just the one who was friends with your captain. Um, I’m sorry, but I kind of had to look through your stuff? Your luggage tag wasn’t filled out.” The girl laughed.

“Yours wasn’t either! Me and my teammates were like one minute away from googling the record holder for most San Jose Sharks merch, but it totally makes sense that you’re on the hockey team.” 

“Since we both forgot to write our numbers down, maybe we should do that now?” Chris suggested. The girl grinned, grabbed his phone out of his hand, and opened up a new contact. She punched in a number, and when she handed it back he saw a text of several random emojis addressed to the new contact of “Caitlin Farmer” with a girl farmer emoji and a volleyball emoji.

“Text me sometime, and maybe we can get dinner?” she said, and she was gone with her suitcase. 

Chris collapsed on the couch, a dreamy look in his eyes.

“Chowder? You get your suitcase back?” Bitty called out from the kitchen.

“Yeah! and I think I’m in love now!”

2. Nurseydex

“Cheryl, I’m telling you, I had a ton of inspiration on the plane and I wrote some great stuff for act three. No. No, it wasn’t just me thinking it’s great because I popped some melatonin and got really sleepy. It’s like, legit. Yeah, I’ll send it over as soon as I get home and–”

Derek slammed into something. If he’d been holding his phone in his hand (bluetooth is a blessing when you drop stuff easily) it would have launched across the airport. As it was, his post-flight latte was soaking through the nice white shirt of the handsome stranger in front of him.

“Shit,” the stranger said, looking down to survey the damage.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have trusted myself to make a phone call and not be clumsy after such a long flight,” Derek said. He set his briefcase down and pulled a wad of napkins out of the outside pocket. The guy took a deep breath, going from murderous to calm in a few seconds. 

“I wasn’t looking where I was going either, it’s not your fault,” the guy said, setting down his own briefcase and accepting the napkins. He blotted at his shirt.

“Let me pay for the dry cleaning. Or a replacement,” Derek offered. The man shook his head.

“It’s fine, it probably needed to go to the cleaners anyways.” He checked his watch. “If I run, I can probably get a new one before my meeting.” He wadded the napkins into one big ball, picked up his briefcase, and walked towards the exit with a terse nod. Derek, feeling terrible about the whole thing, picked up his own briefcase and walked to baggage claim.

By the time he was reunited with his home office, a cozy bookshelf-lined room in his brownstone, he had almost forgotten about the coffee incident. He was focused on sending the manuscript to Cheryl. Unfortunately, that was going to be difficult, considering he pulled a PC laptop out of the bag instead of his Mac.

Derek stared at the computer for a full minute. He almost couldn’t believe that this was happening to him. Hesitantly, he opened the laptop. On one side of the keyboard there was a weird thing that a few seconds of phone googling told him was a fingerprint scanner. Shit. He hit the space bar experimentally. Something flashed on the screen, and then was replaced with just a plain black screen with red text: ACCESS DENIED

Derek swore. He started to look through the rest of what was in the briefcase, but was disappointed to find it empty except for the laptop’s charger, three packs of gum, and receipts from a lobster shack in Maine. Shit. Nothing in here would tell him anything about the redhead he’d launched a latte at. 

He closed the laptop dejectedly, ignored his editor’s text messages, and went into the kitchen to make himself lunch and feel sorry for himself. This was the universe punishing him for covering a cute guy with coffee. If he had just kept his focus and waited to call his editor later, he could have sent the draft along and saved it and not be desperately trying to remember his inspiration.

Just as the self-pity spiral was really taking off, the doorbell rang. Derek sighed, put down his tea, and walked to the door. When he opened it, it wasn’t Girl Scouts or Jehovah’s Witnesses, but the guy from the airport.

“Cancel whatever you’re doing today, I need to teach you the most basic principles of digital security,” the guy said, pushing past Derek into the dining room. He shoved a stack of papers onto a chair and pulled Derek’s laptop out.

“I’m Will, by the way, I make software that’s hopefully a step ahead of viruses.”

“Is the draft still there?”

“The draft of what?” The guy looked confused.

“My third act breakthrough. I’m a novelist, I need to get it to my editor and I couldn’t remember if I saved it,” Derek explained.

“You know you can set up an auto-save every five minutes or so, right?” Will asked.

“This might be surprising to you, but I’ve never had a cute guy storm into my house and yell at me about computers before.” Will looked up from Derek’s computer, blushing.

“I haven’t had a cute guy dump a gallon of coffee all over me and steal my laptop before, either, but here we are.”

“Maybe you can yell about computers over lunch with me?”

3. Zimbits

Button downs. Tank tops. Slacks. Shorts. Three rolling pins. A pie tin. A half-emptied multipack of sharpies.

No lucky puck. No clothes in his size. No jerseys.

Jack sighed. It would just be too much to ask for anything to go well today. He picked up his phone to call someone with the Falconers, in the hope that they could talk to the airline and sort all this out. At the same time, his phone lit up with Tater’s face.

“Zimmboni! Look on twitter. Small internet baker has your suitcase!” Tater hung up before he could reply, so Jack just opened twitter instead. 

omgcheckplease: A bunch of pucks, some dirty jerseys, and a history textbook. Either I’m back in college or this isn’t my suitcase.

omgcheckplease: .@falcsofficial please tell your #1 player to DM me and come get his shit

omgcheckplease: and @falcsofficial tell him to give me my shit back. my hockey days are in the past, I need rolling pins, not a mouthguard

Jack smiled and laughed in the way a person laughs when they’re alone, just blowing more air than normal out of his nose. He looked through the twitter for a minute– the guy, Eric Bittle, was a Providence-based chef, whose latest tweets were mostly greetings to the various cities he’d been visiting on tour. Jack clicked the media tab on the account, and looked through the pictures. Bittle was cute. He wrote a reply.

zimmboni: .@omgcheckplease how do I send u a DM

omgcheckplease: .@zimmboni you don’t deserve to be verified, oh my god #verifybittle2k17

A few seconds later another notification popped up, and he tapped it to be brought to a DM window.

omgcheckplease: hey! sorry about the mixup. I can only imagine how confused you were to find all my book tour stuff.

zimmboni: Probably as confused as you were finding hockey stuff?

omgcheckplease: I wasn’t joking in my tweets, I did play hockey before I got into the whole cookbook/food show thing

zimmboni: Exactly, I did a book tour last year in the off-season :-)

omgcheckplease: oh my gosh, isn’t it the best and the worst?

zimmboni: I know. It’s great to meet people and talk about your work, but it’s exhausting.

omgcheckplease: that’s why I’m so excited to be back in Providence! at least until the next cookbook.

zimmboni: Well we should probably meet up to trade suitcases. Want to meet somewhere for dinner?

omgcheckplease: don’t trust me to learn where your house is?

zimmboni: I mean, if dinner goes well enough…

omgcheckplease: OH. okay, then, Mr. Zimmermann, it’s a date.

Jack smiled to himself, and got ready for his date.

TREE BROS HEAD CANNONS

It’s one AM and these kinda just popped into my head LETS GO

• Connor fails his suicide attempt, Zoe finds him in his room about a minute after Connor swallowed a fuck ton of pills

•Evan hears about this cause Connor is always a main source of gossip at the school

• especially for Jared

• Evan thinks about when he failed his suicide attempt and knew, at least partly, how Connor felt

• Evan, knowing he wouldn’t be able to just walk up to Connor and start talking, starts writing letters

• Dear Connor Murphy, I heard what happened and I want you to know, I failed as well over the summer

• Evan always signing them as Sincerely Me

• Connor getting the first letter five days after he leaves the hospital, two days after he goes back to school

• Connor reading it, and thinking

• maybe I’m not completely alone

• Evan writes Connor a letter every Tuesday and Thursday

• Whenever Connor ditches school he makes sure it isn’t a Tuesday or Thursday

• Evan mentions things that go on in his life, how he wishes he could stand up for himself, how he wishes he could help his mother, how he wishes he could talk to the girl he likes

• Connor starts to develop feelings for the mystery writer but ignores it cause

• A. Who would like him

• and

• B. I don’t even know who writes the letters, how the fuck can I be in love

• Evan slowly starts to make sure Connor is doing okay when ever Connor actually shows up to his math class

• Evan slowly starts to realize that he doesn’t like Zoe as much, but why?

• Evan shoots up in bed one night thinking

• Fuck. I like the school stoner

• Evan then slaps himself cause that’s not all that Connor is

• his mom hears him talking to himself and asks if everything is alright

• Evan quickly shouts back a yes, and gets back in bed, still thinking of Connor Murphy

• the last day of school before Christmas Break, Evan leaves a small gift at Connors locker and a note even though it’s Friday

• he’s surprised to see that Connor also left a gift at his locker for the mystery writer

• Evan puts it under the tree

• Heidi asks where it came from and Evan starts blushing and stuttering and mumbling about how he writes letters to Connor Murphy

• Heidi sees the light in her sons eye that hasn’t been there in years

• She bakes cookies for Evan to give to Connor

• Evan brings the cookies to the Murphy’s house, rings the door bell and runs

• Cynthia opens the door to see a plate of cookies and card saying ‘Dear Connor Murphy, have an excellent Christmas, sincerely me’

• Cynthia is super excited cause she believes that Connor has an actual FRIEND

• Cynthia takes the cookies up to her sons room

• Connor opens the door, glaring at his mother, and then he sees the cookies and the note card

• he picks it up and reads it quickly before blushing and grabs the plate, shutting his door

• on Christmas Evan opens Connors present last and is very happy to see that it’s a tree encyclopedia with a note that said ‘you always talk about how you love trees so, here’ and on the other side is a beautifully drawn tree

• CONNOR MURPHY CAN DRAW SO FUCKING WELL AND EVAN JUST MELTS AT THE TREE AND HE INSTANTLY PINS IT TO HIS WALL

• Connor opens his gift in his room, and is surprised to see two new black sweatshirts and a bottle of black nail polish, the saying ‘Dear Connor Murphy, your sweatshirts seem to have a lot of holes, I didn’t know if it was for comfort or what but I got you a new one. Oh and I really like your nails so here’s some more polish, sincerely me’ Connor actually smiles, and he feels all warm inside AND WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS WHAT THE FUCK

• Jared eventually finds out that Evan writes Connor letters cause he saw the tree on the wall while Evan was getting snacks and flipped it over and read the note

• he immediately asked Evan who it was from

• Evan blushes and mumbles Connor

• Jared demands a wider explanation

• he doesn’t stop teasing Evan about it

• At school Jared starts acting funny around Connor and Connor starts to freak out cause

• SHIT IS JARED THE LETTER GUY

• but he calms down for a second when Jared accidentally spills the beans

• Connor was reading another one of Evans’s notes, Jared walks up to him with a shit eating grin and says

• 'Another love note from Evan Tree Boy Hansen I see.’

• Connor is instantly relieved they’re not from Jared

• he then freaks out cause THE CUTE QUIET DORKY NERD THAT SITS BEHIND ME IN MATH WRITES ME FUCKING LETTERS

• Connor corners Evan after school

• Evan is nervous cause he thinks Connor hates him.

• he is pleasantly surprised when Connor gives him a quick thank you before dashing off

• Connor then starts to write Evan letters on Wednesdays and Fridays. Monday’s are the chill day

• Connor finally accepts that he totally loves Evan but he still thinks that Evan could never like him that way, especially since the guy Evan mentions in his letter can’t be him

• beautiful brown hair? Nope

• gorgeous blue eyes that seem to have a hint of brown in the left one? Well yes but they aren’t gorgeous, his are hideous

• a face that was crafted by God himself? Absolutely not

• Evan starts to wonder if Connor wants to be friends with him and asks him exactly that in a letter

• Connor replies with a 'no shit’ and his phone number

• Evan was ecstatic when they hung out for the first time

• so was Connor

• and their moms

• at the end of senior year, Evan tells Connor that he has to take a gap year to save up money

• Connor decides he’s not going to college without Evan as he doesn’t know how to make friends and he was just fucking lucky with Evan

• They were hanging out at Evans house the next winter and they both had a few drinks cause what 18 year old doesn’t drink. Evan isn’t THAT innocent guys

• they both tell each other that they like one another and share a small kiss that they both have wanted for a while

• they fall asleep on the couch, holding each other

Imma stop there. Feel free to add on, that was insanely long and I might write an actual thing for this?

anonymous asked:

So Peggy starts the best bar fights? Elaborate, please.

oh man, those were the good old days. 

the howlies got in a lot of bar fights. you might think that the last thing a bunch of soldiers would want to do with their free time is fight people, but actually bar fights were a great stress relief. nobody really got seriously injured, and we tried to keep property damage to a minimum.  (and we also almost never started bar fights, for the record. most of the time it was guys from another unit who wanted to prove how badass they were by taking on the infamous howling commandos.) so bar fights themselves weren’t that unusual.

but peggy’s bar fights…oh, they were glorious. 

see, peggy never got in a fight for no reason; she was smarter than that. but when she did fight, it was truly beautiful. ive never seen a better right cross, before or since.

so one time we were on leave, sipping drinks in this english pub. the howlies were at the back table, enjoying a couple pitchers, while peggy was up at the bar, chatting with the barmaid. many of the bars and pubs back then had female bartenders–filling the gaps with the men off at war. and generally barmaids (which was what a female bartender was called back then) were the sort of girl pegs got along with–sensible, dependable, and not willing to take shit from any man. so she often enjoyed commiserating with the barmaids while we drank. she used to say she had to be free of us ‘charming gentlemen’ before she wound up blowing things up as erratically as we did. which was hurtful. our explosions were very intentional.
mostly.

so peggy got to chat about the best ways to hurl drunken idiots out doors and we got to ply steve with alcohol to see how much booze it would take to make him drunk. (tragically, we never found out.)

on this particular occasion, peggy was sitting at the bar when this mountain of a man came in. and i mean huge. thor-sized. like the hulk’s pinker younger brother. and with him came a dozen or so of his closest friends, all locals. (they may also have been poorly disguised orcs. im not sure, but i wouldn’t discount it as a possibility after seeing all the nonsense ive seen) the group of them made their way up to the bar, wedged their way in, and started harassing the barmaid. 

now, i don’t know what they said. peggy refused to repeat it. all i know is that one of the larger idiots said something stupid, laughed, and reached out to grope the barmaid. his hand made it about six inches from her chest when peggy’s fist broke his nose. he hit the floor like a tree falling, and the bar went quiet for a split second before one exceptionally suicidal idiot lunged at peggy.

everything went crazy. there were a good few dozen of us 107th guys in the bar, and all of us knew and adored pegs, so when the mountain-men went after her, every fine man of the 107th went after them. but it turned out that the locals defended their own, and we were pretty evenly matched for numbers. within seconds, everyone was throwing punches. bottles were thrown. dernier used a tablecloth to blind a man and threw him out a window. dumdum used one guy’s fists to hit another guy. i hurled bottlecaps at people’s eyeballs, because it’s fun.(im a sniper. we like distance) steve tried to wade through the chaos to get to peggy, but people kept punching him and then clutching their hands in agony, so he got kind of bogged down. 

at the bar, peggy was demonstrating exactly why she was the 107th’s darling–because she could put a grown man twice her size on the ground in two seconds flat. she knocked out six men; seven more promptly fell in love with her. 

as the chaos began to wind down, most of the locals had either been beaten down or fled, and only the mini-hulk and a couple others were left, brawling like berserkers. we were just about ready to turn steve loose on them when the barmaid handed peggy a stool. peggy took it, walked up behind where most of us howlies were still duking it out, and broke the stool over the big guy’s head. 

he went down hard. the rest of them surrendered out of terror. 

(and, possibly, they had also fallen prey to abruptly-in-love-with-peggy-carter syndrome. but really, who wasn’t?)

10 Things I love about Expiration Date

#1.

This face. 

Legend says it only happens within a millisecond, but once you see it, it’s chilling. Like if this screenshot doesn’t describe the personality of Medic idk what else would, guys. Dude is so ready to scare the entire shit outta Scout. You can see it in his cold blue eyes. That boogeyman smirk. His evil (yet groomed) eyebrows. Y’all, this man holds so much unadulterated glee at witnessing the pain and suffering of others, so much madne–

–aaaand he’s back. Everything’s cool. Hey doc what the hell is that?

“TUMORS!” :Dc

k then

#2.

So originally I took this screenshot bc of Spy’s eyebrow and Heavy’s annoyed expression of being awoken from his slumber….

but then I proceeded to laugh my ass off bc I also happened to capture Sniper staring off into space while contemplating his existence in this universe.

(I’m sure this is a common occurrence with him. He’s probably the type of dude that wonders if pigeons have feelings.)

#3.

Still in the same room, only this time Spy has been gravely insulted by the Scoot.

But look at the others. They don’t seem too exasperated with Scout and his doodles of Spy. Maybe it’s because they also think this meeting is dumb, maybe it’s because they actually knew Scout was going to pull this prank, or maybe it’s because they too think The Eiffel Tower Having Sexual Congress With Spy is a hilarious joke.

Either way, it’s nice to see the other mercs genuinely smiling at Scout and his shenanigans. It’s better than the common fandom theme where Scout is The Worst and Everybody Hates Him.

No, the other old dudes know how to kid around too (even though it’s still at the Spy’s expense, oops)

Of course, whether the Pyro is smiling at him too is something we’ll never know. Personally I think he’s just eyeing up that bucket. Imagine how different this whole video would have gone if Pyro took the bucket instead of Soldier. 

Probably not so different actually.

#4.

This goes to show that Medic is not just a sadistic doctor. He’s a sadistic doctor that cares about his friends and smiles at them when he passes by.

It’s like when you’re walking down the hallway to class and you see your friend going to their class and you smile and nod to acknowledge their existence. It’s such a nice thing, and of all ppl Medic was the one who did that.

“Interesting.”


#5.

If there was a looping video of just Demoman and Sniper playing their instruments of choice I would pay to watch it forever. Also, how did they get there? Did Spy just yell “hey assholes who wants to help me create a romantic dinner mood so I can teach Scout how to talk to a girl” and Demo and Snipes were like “ok m8 no problem B)”

I know we’re already used to the fact that these boys are mad talented, but I still love the fact that their instruments aren’t what you would stereotype them to play based on their personality. 

The dude that’s paid to blow shit up can probably play Beethoven, and the Loner Guy that lives in a camper van probably knows the tune of Careless Whisper by heart. 

I love that.

#6.

Once again I take a screenshot in order to capture the character in the middle, only to lose my shit at the person standing at the far left.

Look at Medic’s face. Yes, I get it, in context this is a ridiculous situation. I mean the last line said before that was “I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days”. This is almost Saturday cartoon material here.

But still, look at his fucking face. I just…

MEIN FUCKING GOTT VHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU FUCK

#7.

Speaking of horrified reactions. 

Thank goodness I know what the context is in this clip because otherwise I would have assumed someone died, or Armageddon had arrived, or something else completely unimaginable happened and there’s nothing that can be done at all, ever.

But no, it’s just a mutant tentacle monster. And this is right before Heavy asks Medic to ubercharge him, because he’s metal af.

All jokes aside, though, the reason why I am putting so much emphasis on these little miliseconds of expression is because these characters are 3D animated, and a team of people sat in front of a computer rigging these facial features to move this way. Even though these moments happen for only a second, they are still very telling when you look at them up close.

Besides, Heavy doesn’t make this face very often (as far as we’ve seen) and it’s something worth remembering (amirite, Comic #6??)

#8.

Ok, lemme tell you guys a thing:

If I was fighting a giant-tentacle-whole-wheat-bread-monster and it hoisted my ass several feet into the air, only to fling me back to mother earth with all of it’s strength, I would stay on my fucking back for like five minutes trying to get breath back into my lungs and wondering why tf I even bothered to fight anyway.

THIS DUDE get’s knocked on his ass, arms and legs akimbo and everything, get’s back up mid-fucking-tumble while reaching for his blade, and charges back into the fight like nothing ever happened. 

Seriously, it’s one swift motion, like a damn nature show. You could watch the video again but you’d have to make sure not to blink because it happens so fast.

 And the amazing thing is that all the mercs (and Pauling too) have this insane ability of getting fucked, getting even more fucked, getting back up, and then getting back into the shitstorm with no hesitation. 

Then again, what’s what the Gravel Wars basically are right?

Shit, Administrator was right, these dudes are straight up Plutonium.


#9.

“Good news! We’re not dying! We are going to live FOREVER!”

Oh that Soldier, always giving a laugh. Honestly, though, the reason why I saved this was because I didn’t realize for a long time that the reason why he was able to jump in on the conversation was because he was eaten by the bread monster.

It makes sense, because last time we saw him he was being dragged while screaming something about teleporting bread. He was probably just laying there in the monster’s throat, getting ready to use a grenade, when suddenly boom went the bomb and he received visitors. All this time I never put two and two together that he was stuck inside the bread monster before Pauling and Scout made it cool. Shame on me. That’s definitely a Soldier thing to do.

(Also, you wanna know what a bread monster and Soldier have in common? They both have a talent of cockblocking Scout.)

#10.

And the final one.

There’s nothing like a family portrait. If the video froze at this point with credits I would have expected to hear a 90′s family sitcom jingle.

What a video.

Cheerleading IS a sport | JJ

Request: a dom!jungkook smut when y/n is a cheerleader and he is like the player of the sport and yeah they could like have the fun in the changing room~

Pairing: Dom!Jungkook, Football!Jungkook X Cheerleader!Reader

Summary: Y/n, best flyer on the cheerleading squad. Jungkook, best kicker and scorer on the football team. What will happen when things get heated between the two all because of something that he just spilled out of his mouth.

Genre: Smut, Angst, Smut

Warnings: Swearing, dirty talk, Dominant!Jungkook, Sub!Reader, hospital handjob, cocky asshole Jungkook

Word Count: 3k+

Keep reading

Yet another from this long list of prompts, completely unprompted.

Number Twelve: “I’m pregnant.”


The text came in at 7:17am, and in the mean time, Stiles had made his way through four and a half breakdowns, all of them for different reasons.

Number One: Male werewolves could get pregnant, and tying into that:

Number Two: Derek had never found it relevant to their two year relationship to share this fun fact. That didn’t say much as to his thoughts on their future together, which stung.

Number Three: Stiles was going to be a father at twenty-four.

Number Four: Just the night before, with Derek in Argentina visiting Cora, Stiles ate a dinner of Cheetos, plain microwaved hotdogs wrapped in bread, and four beers before passing out on the couch with the tv remote in his hand. He was not ready to be a father.

Number Five (still ongoing, more or less halfway through): They were going to have to move because no amount of corner guards or stupid little outlet plugs could childproof the loft. The door to the kitchen was literally a jagged hole in a brick wall. Stiles caught his shins on it regularly, they were always a mess of scabs and bruises.

Actually his entire body was a mess of scabs and bruises, because that was his life now, had been since sophomore year: fighting off the forces of supernatural evil.

Too bad he couldn’t childproof his life.

Oh god, they were going to have to move out of Beacon Hills. Away from the pack.

Nothing was stable in Beacon Hills, it had been eight years of panic and anxiety and near deaths and actual deaths. They couldn’t bring a baby into their current lives, Stiles wouldn’t even bring an adult into this hellhole. Who was trained in firearms. With combat experience.

Keep reading

An Overrated Cliché

Summary: That Spider-Man kiss video was definitely cliché and cheesy, which is exactly the reason that Spidey and Y/N have to do it.

Word Count: 2235

Warnings: Heights and Swearing.

A/N: casually drops this after almost a year without writing like okay!! okay!! please enjoy this (it has good format!!) :0 and thank you to @buckys-fossil for actually tolerating me and proofreading this, i love you!!! also this is a gender neutral fic!!!! if you followed me when i was strictly an aesthetic blog well then, hello i write fics too

Originally posted by kimtaeyoen

Summer weather was the worst.

Summer holiday wasn’t that much better, what with having cabin fever and all. It had been a week since you had left the comfort of your apartment and three hours since you flopped onto the couch and lay there. All of your friends had been busy, Michelle doing her protesting, Liz with college preparation. It left you with nothing much to do other than lounge around your home.

The fan placed on the coffee table was set on revolve and hit your body with cool breezes. Laying on your side and absentmindedly watching season three of Phineas and Ferb, you felt jealous that those children were creative enough to make the most of your summer. It was a big contrast to you, as you hadn’t done anything the entire few weeks of summer there had been.

A thought suddenly came to mind and you decided to act on it. Shutting off the TV and fan, you put on actual clothes and took care of your hygiene before fixing your hair and pulling on your sneakers. Making sure to had some money and the house key, you texted your mom.

to: mom
hey i’m leaving the apartment for the first time in days are you proud of me

It didn’t take her long to reply.

from: mom
Fine with me, I was about to kick you out and make you do something.

You laughed at her text before tucking your phone away and leaving the apartment and locking the door.

Keep reading

SNK Character Song Series 06: Levi (Image song & monologue translations)

Heeeyyy, Tumblr! Long time, no see :’) Did y'all enjoy SNK Season 2?

Levi and Erwin’s image song CDs were just released and I enjoyed listening to them a lot! ♡ So, I decided to pop back in for a bit and take on a new translation endeavor, something I haven’t really done in a while.

First up, this post is Levi’s image song and monologue! For the song, I included the original Japanese as well as romaji for karaoke purposes, if you’re so inclined ;) I also made a transcript of the monologue in the original Japanese, which you can read here (feel free to use it to translate into other languages.)

This should be obvious but keep in mind these are spoilers for the song & monologue, in case you wanted to experience them for yourself first. I definitely encourage supporting the official release & ordering the CDs if you haven’t already ♡

I’m also nearly finished with my translation of Erwin’s song and monologue as well, I’ll update this post with a link once it’s done ♡ ETA: Here is the translation of Erwin’s song and monologue!

SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN CHARACTER SONG SERIES 06: Levi

“Dark Side Of The Moon” (Vocals by Hiroshi Kamiya)

Side note: the melody for Levi’s song is based on the previously released SNK single, Reluctant Heroes.

Japanese Version

こんな世界を今
逆さにして振ってみても
確かなことひとつ
出てきやしねぇ¹だろう?

壁の外は地獄
中は欺瞞溢れてる
それも併せ呑んで
任務を果たすだけ

感情流され死神喰われるか
足りない頭を回してみるか

※光当たらぬ月の裏
突き進むためには
もっと速く時には
躊躇なき非情さを
間違いじゃないやりたきゃやれ
ここに答えなんてない
ただ後悔残さぬ
自らの決断を

ここで生き抜くなら
言葉でする教育より
痛みの記憶説く
教訓が必要だろう?

犠牲も危険も避けては
成果など
得られぬものだと
腹を括れよ

隠されている月の裏
いつか暴くために
乱されるな喚くな
状況を見極めろ
結果がなきゃ正解もない
だから最後だけは
ただ後悔残さぬ
自らの生き方を

背後で散った勇敢な兵士たちが
遺した想い力を与える
必ずいつの日にか目障りな
壁も壊し
自由になる為この命捧ぐ

※ Repeat

Romaji Version

Konna sekai wo ima
Sakasa ni shite futte mitemo
Tashika na koto hitotsu
Detekiyashinē¹ darō?

Kabe no soto wa jigoku
Naka wa giman afureteru
Sore mo awase nonde
Ninmu wo hatasu dake

Kanjō nagasare shinigami kuwareru ka
Tarinai atama wo mawashite miru ka

※Hikari ataranu tsuki no ura
Tsukisusumu tame ni wa
Motto hayaku toki ni wa
Chūcho naki hijōsa wo
Machigai ja nai yaritakya yare
Koko ni kotae nante nai
Tada kōkai nokosanu
Mizukara no ketsudan wo

Koko de ikinuku nara
Kotoba de suru kyōiku yori
Itami no kioku toku
Kyōkun ga hitsuyō darō?

Gisei mo kiken mo sakete wa
Seika nado
Erarenu mono da to
Hara wo kukure yo

Kakusarete iru tsuki no ura
Itsuka abaku tame ni
Midasareru na wameku na
Jōkyō wo mikiwamero
Kekka ga nakya seikai mo nai
Dakara saigo dake wa
Tada kōkai nokosanu
Mizukara no ikikata wo

Haigo de chitta yūkan na heishi tachi ga
Nokoshita omoi chikara wo ataeru
Kanarazu itsu no hi ni ka mezawari na
Kabe mo kowashi
Jiyū ni naru tame kono inochi sasagu

※ Repeat

English Translation

This kind of world now
Even if we try shaking it upside down
There isn’t one thing that comes out
Which is certain, is there?

Outside the walls, it is hell
Inside, it is brimming with deceit
What’s more, we have to swallow it down
We can only fulfill our duty

Will we lose control of emotion and be consumed by a god of death?
Or will we try to use our dim-witted heads?

The dark side of the moon, untouched by light
For the sake of pushing forward
We have to be faster and at times
Be heartless without hesitation
It’s not a mistake if it’s what you want to do, so do it
There are no right answers here
Just being without regrets
Is my own decision

If were to I survive here
Rather than education with words
Isn’t persuasion by memories of pain
An essential lesson?

To avert sacrifice as well as danger
Things like results
Cannot be obtained
Steel yourself for it

The dark side of the moon is concealed
For the sake of someday being revealed
Do not get agitated, do not scream
Be certain of the circumstances
Without results, there are no right answers
Therefore only in the end
Just being without regrets
Is my way of living

Brave soldiers who died noble deaths² before us
The hopes they left behind give us power
Without fail, one of these days
We will demolish the obstructive walls as well
For the sake of freedom, we devote this life

Translation notes:

¹ It appears that Levi’s gruff style of speaking is present even in the lyrics of his song. The standard form of the verb here would be detekiyashinai (出てきやしない).
² The verb in the original Japanese, chiru/散る (or in this case, the past tense form chitta/散った) in the literal sense means “to fall” (in the context of leaves or blossoms from a tree). However, it also has the figurative meaning of “to die a noble death”. Even though we also say “fallen soldiers” in English, I worried that translating the lyric as, “fallen before us” or “fallen behind us” could both be misinterpreted, I decided to go with the more figurative meaning;;

++

Levi Monologue English Translation

Seriously now, I’ve had enough of this. This world is perpetual shit, and humanity is still toothless prey.

Those ugly titans are always going to take a bite out of us, and so we die a meaningless death.

Humanity is powerless.

When we won against the titans for the first time, the time when we sealed the wall in Trost district with a boulder, we could do it because of Eren’s power– a titan’s power.

The weak ones die quickly. How much power they use up doesn’t matter.

Eventually all of humanity, every single person will end up in the stinking maw of a titan, and while we experience the worst feeling there is, perhaps our miserable lives will end.

I realized it a few years ago. The stench of the gutters fills the inside of these walls. It’s been like this for over 100 years. It’s the way things are now.

Because I’ve had to breathe in this foul air ever since I was born, because I had no choice but to live crawling around in piles of trash, I thought that it was normal.

But when I went outside the walls for the first time, I realized how much I didn’t know about anything. It hit home for me, how much I had hated it.

The world outside the walls was like hell with titans wandering around, but the air I breathed there was completely different from the one inside the walls.

I realized, out there is what freedom is.

Freedom is something that absolutely cannot be obtained within the walls.

So I made a choice. I will continue to kill all of the titans.

If you want to confront the titans, information is never enough. So in order to survive, I learned how to live.

Quick action and callous decisions by assuming the worst is a necessary endeavor.

A moment’s hesitation, surrendering yourself to emotions, and you will be nothing but Titan bait.

If you don’t want to die, you have to always continue to keep this in mind.

And small choices will accumulate.

That is the way of living I have learned.

Risking no danger, making no sacrifices– there is no such easy discussion.

Even if there was, it’s all make-believe.

So far, I have lost numerous subordinates.

Whether my choice was correct at those times, I do not know. It’s always been like that.

Even if I believe in my own power, even if I believe in my comrades whom I fully trust, none of us will know the outcome.

Afterward, all that’s left is reality.

In that case, What can I do except make a desperate effort?

What can I do except doggedly press on?

If I have time to think about the bygone past, like if I were to have made a different choice back then, I will kill as many titans as possible within my power.

In that time, in that moment, a sudden, ridiculously strong power boils up from inside my body, and then I know what to do.

When that moment comes, I can no longer go back to my old self.

With these blood-stained hands, I accept my new self, I steel myself, and I only do what I must.

Was I correct? Or did I make a mistake? That’s the sort of thing no one knows, so it’s not worth worrying about.

All you can do is keep your mouth shut and make a choice without regrets.

Not understanding things about this world is true for everyone.

So I choose the guy whom I want to put my faith in.

Erwin is like that, too. No one knows what he is really thinking deep down.

But I trust his judgement.

He may be inviting the worst outcome, but he’s not afraid of that, he is able to choose something. That’s the kind of guy he is.

That’s why I chose to follow him. And I chose to fight.

In order to fight against this shit world, with this hand I’ll grab hold of the freedom of going beyond the walls for the first time.

I have chosen for myself.

Even if I am led into hell, I have no regrets.

Not one bit.

Swap FTW

A buddy and I decided to swap characters. I went from playing my bugbear barbarian at levle 11 running Tomb of Horrors, to running her Cleric with a Rogue Dip….suffering 2 levels of exhaustion,almost out of spells, and without any idea what was in her spellbook. We warned my DM….didn’t think to warn hers. I park in her spot, explain our idea, and start scanning the sheets. 

Story begins. I’m still in Barb-mode, and march through a door into a room of stuffed cats, and a statue of a man wearing a tiger mask. I elect to remove the mask. He comes to life and attacks me. Dm - “Roll initiative!”  I’m near the bottom. Other players attack. I’m frantically looking for SOMETHING useful to do.
My turn. “I am going to seduce the man.”
DM “Uh, ok, how?”
“I’m going to dip him, like in a romantic play I saw once.”

DM-“Roll!”

4! Dm- “Roll dex!” 16! *phew* You don’t fall down, and he’s un-seduced, but a little confused. 

“That would have gone sooooo much better if I had a rose to put between my teeth, like really up the romance, you know?” to the other cleric. 

Other players attack, tiger man attacks me, the other cleric… “I pull out my flute and begin to play.“ 
Dm "Do you have a magic flute or anything?” “No, it’s just a normal flute.” “Ok, roll your performance at disadvantage” 12, I think. The player begins to pointedly hum “Careless Whisper” at me.

I ask the DM if the “romantic pointed fluting” gives me advantage…he agrees, this allows me a straight roll on this second seduction attempt. 16! 

Dm- He’s not seduced, but you do pull off the dip, and now he is VERY confused. 

Another player swings a hammer at his head, bouncing it off mine and doing damage to both. Tiger man changes into a tiger. Before the DM can tell me what happens….I interject.

“My strength is SO low, a 700 # tiger would just fall to the ground and take me with its.”
Dm- “Ok, you are snuggled into the tiger’s tummy, he attacks (dice roll behind the screen, he drops his head into his hands) the tiger misses. Apparently you’re too close to attack." 

Other cleric switches tunes to "Let It Go”  (She has been humming careless whisper the WHOLE ROUND!) casts guidance on me. 

I make eye contact with the DM. “Do I have advantage over this guy due to the musical accompaniment and general ridiculousness.”

“Sure, yeah.”
“I’m going to use animal handling”
He says, ok, it’s going to be a hard check…..“  

Me "Nat20, and a 4 on the D4”. 

Dm- Well I guess combat is over, and Ancora is now cuddling and talking silly to a tiger on the floor.

A few checks later, and I got to give my friend her character back, now in possession of an immortal undead were tiger, answering to Mr. Cuddlypoof, and who will literally follow her anywhere. :) 

Other cleric - “I need to play a bard” 

Me “Yeah, that was freaking genius, and extremely funny to boot!” 

I’ve been invited to play at his table anytime. ;) 

wethesherlock  asked:

any famous nonfamous fics to rec?? 😆

Famous/Not Famous Fic Rec

Wholehearted 77k

AU. When superstar singer and winner of The Voice Louis Tomlinson tweets “Nothing worse than waking up with no milk for a cuppa !! Gutted” he doesn’t expect someone to bring him some. And he really doesn’t expect that someone to have bright green eyes, long curly hair, and (fucking) dimples.

When It’s Late At Night 25k

Louis has zero interest in an ex-boybander turned solo artist when his appearance on the show gets announced, but that’s exactly who he gets stuck with when Harry Styles shows up at the Late Late show to promote the release of his debut album. For an entire fucking week.

The Wonderlands 150k

“Somewhere between chaos and control — these are the wonderlands.”

Harry’s daughter, Andy, is signed to Louis’ girl band. Her path to success is marked by competition, chaos, and for Harry, a love affair.

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Promises (Part One)

Requested by Anonymous

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: Peter Parker is your best friend (and crush), although you don’t know he’s Spider-Man yet. One day, you’re attacked by The Vulture and badly hurt.

Word count: 1,472

Warnings: Some violence and mention of blood.

Tags: @thisisthelilith @idroppedthefries @avengers-earths-mightiest-heroes

A/N: I’m still shook about spiderman: homecoming, the avengers: infinity war trailer (that i didn’t even get to see smh), and I recently found out that infinity wars was being filmed in Queens A WEEK before I was planning to visit NYC…so I’ve been working on this request to calm me down lol. I have way too many feelings about Marvel atm. Someone please help me 🙃 (Also, I’m turning this request into multiple parts because I had way too many ideas for it and it was about to be way too long)

(Part Two)


“Hey, you,” You heard from behind your locker door.              

The voice scared you so much that you slammed your locker shut in panic. When you saw who it was, your cheeks turned bright crimson.

“Jesus, Peter. You scared the shit out of me.”

Peter just grinned, amused that he was able to fluster you without even trying.

“Sorry. Why so jumpy today?” he asked with a chuckle.

“I don’t know. I just woke up feeling kind of weird today. It’s no big deal. What are you doing after school today? Ned told me he got the Lego Deathstar set.”

Peter raised an eyebrow and leaned against the locker beside you. Your quick change of subject and flustered rambling couldn’t trick him. He knew something was wrong with you, but he decided to bypass it for now. He didn’t want to make you talk about something you didn’t want to talk about, so he just shook his head and carried on with the conversation as if everything was normal.

“I heard. I wish I could help you guys build it, but I got the Stark internship after school.”

You rolled your eyes and copied his pose, your shoulder falling hard against your locker.

“You always have the Stark internship. Doesn’t he ever let you take a break?”

Peter chuckled again.

“Uh, not really. No. It’s okay though, I like it.”

You were still annoyed, but you didn’t want to crap all over something Peter loved. So you just gave him a little fake smile instead.

“I’m glad you enjoy it. Ned and I will miss you though.”

Peter gave you one of his little appreciative half-smiles.

“I’ll miss you, too. Uh, both of you… I mean,” He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. “Anyways, can I walk you out?”

You nodded and the both of you headed towards the front entrance of Midtown High.

You and Peter had parted ways a while back on your journey home. You felt a little antsy walking alone in Queens, and Peter was reluctant to leave you alone, but you convinced him that you would be fine. You kept checking your phone nervously, waiting for Ned to text you back about the plan for that night. When you looked up, you realized that you didn’t even know where you were walking anymore. You stopped and looked around. There was an ominous feeling in the air – the same creepy feeling you got when you woke up this morning. Something bad was about to happen. You could feel it.

You spun around, and just as you did, you saw a winged creature swooping down to grab you. The last thing you saw before you blacked out was a pair of mechanical talons gripping your shoulders.

When you woke up, your vision was blurry. You tried to sit up, but when you did, your body was wracked with pain. You fell back to the ground and hit your head on the pavement, worsening your anguish. When you reached back to cradle it, you felt something warm and sticky on your hands. You tried to lift your other arm, but couldn’t. You tried and failed to move your legs as well. You didn’t know what happened to you, but you knew that it was bad. You lay still, waiting for the pain to stop when you saw a blurry figure running to you.

“Y/N!” You heard the figure scream, and you knew at once that it was Peter.

But you were out before you could even say his name.

… 

Beep…Beep…Beep.

The first thing you heard before you opened your eyes was the steady beeping of the heart monitor next to you. The next thing was worried voices speaking next to you.

“She’s going to be alright, kid. It’ll take her a while to get there, but she’s going to be alright.”

“You don’t get it, Tony. I let this happen. Me. This whole thing is my fault.”

As soon as you recognized the second voice as Peter’s, you knew you had to open your eyes for him. It took all of the strength in your body, but finally your eyes fluttered open. You tried to say something comforting to him, but nothing came out. Instead, you made a grunting noise and tried to reach out for him.

Peter immediately kneeled down next to you and put an arm on your shoulder.

“Y/N? Are you okay? Wait, no, don’t try to talk. Or move. Just…thank god you’re okay.”

“P…Peter. W-what…happened?” You struggled to ask.

Peter just stared at you with a pained expression.

“It’s…complicated. You got hurt. But you’re going to be okay now.”

You turned your gaze to Tony Stark, who was standing sullenly in the corner of the room.

“Why is he here? Where am I?”

Tony stepped forward and gripped the footboard of your hospital bed.

“You’re in Avengers Tower. In the medical bay.”

“What? Why aren’t I in a real hospital? Where’s my parents…?”

You shifted uncomfortably under your sheets, trying to sit up, but stopped abruptly and groaned when you felt a sharp pain in your ribs. Peter pressed gently on your shoulder to keep you from moving.

“I wouldn’t do that, Y/N.”

“Why am I here? And where are my parents?” You asked again sharply, starting to fully regain your voice.

“Your parents are on their way here. And, uh, you’re here because… well, because…”

“Because Peter reached out to me for help when he found you. We’ve got the best and brightest working here. You’re in very good hands,” Tony interrupted.

“Yeah, exactly. Plus he offered to keep you here for free so your parents won’t have to pay any medical bills. He’s been really helpful with all of this.”

You relaxed back into your pillows, staring at Tony with a questioning look.

“Thank you, Tony,” you mumbled, not buying that that was the whole story.

“No problem. Any friend of Peter’s is a friend of mine. I should go, but Peter here will take excellent care of you. It was a pleasure to meet you, Y/N. I’m just sorry it had to be under these circumstances.”

With that, he patted Peter roughly on the shoulder, gave him a look over the rim of his glasses, and walked out the door.

“What was that about?” You questioned Peter.

“Nothing. It’s fine.”

He put both of his elbows on the edge of your bed, balling his fists together and resting them against his lips. He was thinking very hard about something.

“Peter… don’t think for one second that I’m going to give up asking about what’s going on. I’m not stupid. I know something bad happened, and I need to know what it was,” You croaked.

Peter looked into your eyes, and you could tell he knew you were right. He had to tell you, no matter how hard it was for him. He sighed loudly and got up to pull up a chair beside you.

“Okay. Uh, I don’t really know how to say this…but, uh, you were attacked. By The Vulture. Do you know who that is?”

You furrowed your eyebrows, searching your brain for any prior knowledge you had of who that could be. When you finally remembered seeing him on the news a few times, you nodded slowly.

“Spider-Man fought him a couple of times, right?”

Peter nodded at the floor, not able to look you in the eyes.

“Ned called me and said you never texted him back. He seemed really worried, so I started walking to your house to see if you were there. And then on the way I saw him… and I found you. Just laying there in an alley. I was so scared. I thought that I was too late. I thought I lost you, Y/N.”

He looked so upset that it took everything in your power not to sit up and wrap your arms around him. Instead, you rested your hand on top of his. It was all you could muster. Peter sniffled a little bit and gave you a weak smile.

“I don’t understand, Peter. What would The Vulture want with me?”

Peter looked up at you and shook his head slowly.

“I…don’t know, Y/N. I’m so sorry.”

He looked like he was almost in as much pain as you, so you intertwined your fingers with his in an attempt to comfort him further.

“Why are you sorry? This isn’t your fault, Peter.”

He smiled again, but he still looked tormented.

“I’m never going to let anything bad happen to you again,” he whispered, tightening his grip on your hand. “I promise.”

You smiled at him sleepily. Feeling your cheeks beginning to burn, you cleared your throat and released his hand.

“So…Avengers Tower, huh? Do you think you could get Black Widow to pay me a visit?”

Who’s to Blame? (Part One)

Summary: Bucky Barnes is the most eligible bachelor in New York, a ladies’ man, and a dick. But he’s also your best friend. However, he gets into a car accident and he ends up losing his left arm. His confidence is shattered, and it’s up to you to show him that he is still the man he was before the accident. (Modern-Day Alternate Universe, Possible Series)

Warning: car accident

Author’s Note: Let me know if you’re interested in this becoming a series! Based on ‘Me Before You’. 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 1,090

Originally posted by sebbystanimagines

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