you guys better pass it on

anonymous asked:

If you're hungry for some some retro science fiction with a modern take. I recommend the Anthology series "Old Mars" and its companion volume "Old Venus". With writers like SM Stirling, Michael Moorcock, and good ol' GRR Martin himself as the editor. Both are good but personally I like 'Old Venus' slightly better.

I’ve read it and I love it, and I’ll pass along your recommendation. The most interesting story in there to me is “Tomb of the Martian Kings” by Mike Resnick. What’s interesting is that Resnick was always this old-school guy, so him being published in a retro anthology like this is hilarious; he never stopped doing the “good old stuff.” He never changed, science fiction just changed around him. It’s no surprise to me that the consensus is that this was the standout story in the book; this is Resnick’s bread and butter so he approaches this without irony or a “tee-hee-hee.” 

One of the most amusing coincidences in the history of science fiction is that scifi writers used to guess that Mars looked like Arizona, long before we reached that planet and confirmed that it did. 

The stories here were wonderful, but I’m often not sure what to make of collections like this. I’ve always felt that it’s a bad idea to try to remake the science fiction of the past, because it means not speaking in our own voices or being state of the art. Same thing with directors who try to recreate film noir; noir was such a product of its specific culture moment that there’s an element of inauthenticity to attempting to recreate it. A “modern day noir” is a contradiction in terms.

anonymous asked:

3G candy apple

“You guys sure like putting my in outfits. If you want to see me in girl outfits it’d probably look better if you ask JF if she isn’t passed out drunk, but don’t get me wrong I like em.”

You know who don’t get NEARLY enough love? Fat trans men.

Every fucking media portrayal of trans men is as a super thin white guy with clear skin but like, fat trans men are the best.

They give really good hugs + cuddles and are super warm.

I’m also really just here for mentally ill fat trans men. Y'all are great and you’re trying your best and it’s obvious. I believe in you boys. I love you all.

God bless fat trans men. And you better BELIEVE this includes the ones that struggle to pass because of their weight, extra round of applause for them.

anonymous asked:

whoa ok step back, daedalus built a cow suit for a woman who wanted to fuck a bull and that's why the minotaur WAS A THING? I DID NOT KNOW THIS

I honestly think that I’d be doing you a great disservice if I didn’t tell you about the time Daedalus enabled rampant bestiality, so allow me to clear this gap in your knowledge. 

Anyone who doesn’t want to read a poorly retold myth about a man who built a cow suit so realistic that it totally fooled a magic bull into laying down some absolutely quality homo-bovine dick and siring a minotaur should probably press J on their keyboard right now, but honestly if that synopsis doesn’t do it for you then you should probably just quit Greek mythology all together.

So, Minos is this guy who manages to achieve the dual feat of being both King of Crete and an incorrigible asshole. Also, the first achievement is a really tenuous one, because Minos has like a billion brothers and he’s basically Malcolm in the Middle and all his brothers are better looking than him and they have way better abs and it’s really awkward every year at Christmas because they’re all “could you pass the stuffing, Minos? Also you’re totally stuffed because I’m going to be king one day haha suck it, right on” and so Minos starts to get really worried that he’s going to lose the throne to one of his more lustrous-locked brothers and then he’ll be stuck with just the one achievement of being an incorrigible asshole and so he has a little brood and he comes up with a plan. 

One day, he goes up to Poseidon, god of the sea and all things wet (or at least that’s what he tells girls at the Olympus nightclubs) and he’s like “hey, Poseidon, could you do me a solid?” and Poseidon is like “no bro but I can do you a liquid” and they have a little manly giggle and then Minos says “no but really, I need a favour” and Poseidon is like “well, you just gave me a golden opportunity to mock the states of matter, I’m 100% up for doing any favour you want” and Minos says “well, you know how I have loads of brothers” and Poseidon is like “you mean the better looking ones?” and Minos pouts and says “looks aren’t everything, but yes, those ones” and Poseidon is like “go on” and Minos says “well, I need them to stop trying to steal the throne because it’s getting really annoying and also I can’t sleep at night any more and it’s driving my hot wife insane, could you maybe show that you totally support me being King of Crete? That way, they’ll definitely stop being dicks at Christmas” and Poseidon just nods and says “I have a great idea for how I can do this”

and Minos is like “wow, are you going to send down an army of merpeople and slaughter all my brothers in a righteous and watery battle?” and Poseidon is like “no” and Minos says “are you going to conjure up a giant tidal wave and make it destroy all my brothers’ homes but leave my palace totally intact?” and Poseidon is like “no” and Minos says “well, are you going to turn all my brothers into mermen?” and Poseidon is like “look, I’m going to send you a bull”

and Minos just blinks and says “a bull” and Poseidon nods and grins and says “yes, a bull” and Minos says “THAT’S bull” and Poseidon points behind him and says “no, THAT’S a bull” and then he brings out this fucking phenomenal bull. Like, this bull puts all other bulls to shame. It’s glowing white and it’s as big as two ordinary bulls and probably twice as virile. It’s basically overcompensation in taurine form. Anyway, this bull is so bitchin’ that immediately, all of Minos’ brothers are like “wow, nope, you can keep that throne, we don’t want Poseidon to sic his sick bull on us” and basically Minos lives happily ever after with his incredible bull.

Until eventually Poseidon shows up at Minos’ palace and says “hey, Minos, you know that really awesome bull I lent you a while back?” and Minos is like “what bull” and Poseidon is like “the magical snow white bull which gleamed in the Cretan sun like limestone and Apollo’s cheekbones” and Minos is like “oh, THAT bull” and Poseidon is like “yes, that bull, now where is it because I’m having a bull party next week and I really want it back” and Minos says “well, here’s the thing, and it’s kind of a funny story really and I’m sure we’ll laugh about it later, maybe we could even laugh about it now, ha, but anyway all jokes aside I’m keeping the bull” and Poseidon is all “like fuck you’re keeping that bull, it’s my best bull, this is bullshit” and Minos is like “that’s one of the hazards of keeping a bull, maybe you’re not cut out for it” and Poseidon says “you haven’t heard the end of this, Minos, you have made a very powerful and watery enemy” and he leaves and Minos goes and, like, pets the bull or something, I don’t know what you do with bulls.

So, Poseidon goes back to his soggy lair and formulates a plan, and he eventually comes up with something straight out of Quentin Tarantino’s brie-induced nightmares. He goes to find Aphrodite, the goddess of love and afternoon delight, and says “hey Aphrodite, first of all you look delectable and secondly I need you to help me make a woman bang a bull” and Aphrodite is like “I honestly hate this job sometimes, but you’re right, I do look delectable, tell me more” and Poseidon is like “I had this really sweet bull and I lent it to Minos so he would think I liked him and now he won’t give it back and so I need you to make his wife fall in love with the bull, it’s a foolproof vengeance plan” and Aphrodite says “you are a god” and Poseidon says “yes” and Aphrodite says “why can’t you just, you know, take back the bull with your divine power?” and Poseidon is like “look, are you going to make this woman fall in love with the bull or not” and Aphrodite is like “fuck yes, that sounds hilarious, consider it done and I want front row seats” and Poseidon is like “you are my favourite niece and occasional lover, I owe you one”

Back to the palace at Crete, where Minos’ wife, Pasiphaë, is lounging about on a contemporary equivalent to a chaise-lounge when she suddenly gets this unmistakable urge to do the do with a bull - but not just any bull, her loins quiver only for the bull in her husband’s barnyard. Instead of doing what most people would do when they realise they have an insatiable urge to make tender love to a bull and immediately committing herself to months of therapy, she thinks “I know what I have to do” and she picks up the contemporary equivalent of a phone and calls Daedalus, inventor and architect extraordinaire.

She’s all “hey, Daedalus, we have patient confidentiality, right?” and Daedalus is like “I’m not your doctor, so no” and she’s like “well, I’m your Queen, so how about you say ‘yes’ instead and I tell you what I want?” and Daedalus is like “my lips are sealed, tell me what you need” and she’s all “well, there’s this really rad guy and I totally want to just lay him down and lick chocolate sauce off his body, but there’s a hitch in my plan” and Daedalus says “yeah, you’re married” and Pasiphaë says “yes, and also he’s a bull” and Daedalus is like “do you mean he’s well hung or” and Pasiphaë is like “look man you gotta help me on this, I need me some sweet bullocking and only you can help me” and Daedalus says “I’ll do what I can, but I hope you have a damn good shower at your palace because I may need to use it for about 6 weeks afterwards” and she’s like “done, now get over here and get me some”

So Daedalus turns up and helps her, and in the blink of an eye, he’s built her this monstrous wooden cow suit. Now, the myth is not exactly clear on the mechanics of this bovine sex toy, but it’s established that Pasiphaë gets into the cow suit and goes to find her bullock beau and they make sweet, sweet cattle love all day and all night. I do not know how she manoeuvres herself inside this wooden furry abomination and frankly I do not want to know, but whatever she does is 100% successful because 9 months later she gives birth to another furry abomination. The good news is that he’s a healthy, bouncing baby boy. The bad news is that he is half baby and half bull and also he has this really annoying habit that most newborns don’t have of eating people, which means that Minos is the definition of Not Impressed with his new stepson, so he does what any sane human would do in this situation, and he calls Daedalus. 

Daedalus says “I’m in the shower, what do you want?” and Minos is like “look, my wife has committed a slight indiscretion and I need you to take care of the result” and Daedalus is like “she fucked a bull and she’s had a grotesque hybrid baby, hasn’t she” and Minos narrows his eyes and says “how do you know?” and Daedalus says “just a stab in the dark, mate, I had no hand in this at all, literally none, just let me wash my hands a minute and I’ll be right back” and Minos is like “just build something to trap that devil spawn, because it’s started to eat my servants and I never even wanted a stepson anyway, it’s just one more claim to the throne isn’t it” and Daedalus is like “dude, give me a week and it’ll be done”

and so Daedalus constructs this impenetrable labyrinth that’s so impregnable that Daedalus nearly gets lost on the way out, and they lob the minotaur tot right into the middle of it, and that’s that.

Except then the minotaur starts demanding the sacrifice of seven young men every year, who are tossed into the labyrinth and forced to play a fatal game of cat and mouse with a grotesque superpowered man-bull creature that will ultimately devour them, flesh from bone, at the heart of a labyrinth that only he can navigate, but that’s a story for another myth. Or The Maze, starring Dylan O’Brien, out in a multiplex near you.

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AUs no one asked for
  •  I’m sleeping over at my friend’s flat from university after study group and just got woken up in the middle of the night by their roommate, who is sitting in the kitchen, listening very loudly to the dirty dancing soundtrack and crying. Like wtf, I didn’t even know they had a roommate and normally I would yell at you but damn you are cute. You really need to stop tho dude, its 4am, some people in this house want to sleep AU
  • I am a barista and you are a customer who comes in every day and orders the same thing and today my friend brought you with them, I didn’t even know we had mutual friends and WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT IS NOT ACTUALLY YOUR NAME HAVE I REALLY BEEN WRITING A NAME THAT IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO YOURS ON YOUR CUPS FOR OVER HALF A YEAR WHY HAVE YOU NEVER CORRECTED ME AU
  • The house party me and my friends threw kinda escalated and after throwing out everyone I found this half naked person passed out in my bed but I can’t be bothered to wake them up now so I’m just gonna go to sleep and deal with it in the morning, they are kind of cute anyway AU
  • (or alternatively) I just woke up in a stranger’s bed and I’m half naked, I cant remember anything about yesterday besides that the party was great and that I got absolutely wasted AND OH MY GOD THERE IS A HOT PERSON NEXT TO ME IN BED AND THEY ARE NOT WEARING MUCH WHAT DID WE DO YESTERDAY AU
  • You are my new coworker and I’m pretty sure I’ve never met you SO WHY ARE YOU LOOKING SO FAMILIAR FUCK I THINK YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE ANGSTY EMO KIDS I USED TO STALK BACK IN THE MYSPACE DAYS I CANT BELIEVE THIS AU
  • We work out at the same gym and you are my declared rival because we have the same workout routine and you are always better than me and on my way to the locker room I passed you in the shower where you were singing the opening of hannah montana and I can still hear you and you switched to the lion king now and even though I hate you I think I am kind of in love with you AU
  • I’m hiding in the bathroom of a restaurant from a spectacularly awful tinder date and you are in a similar situation because a guy at the bar just won’t stop hitting on you and now we are planning an epic escape together even though we only met ten minutes ago AU
PLEASE READ THIS AND TAKE IT SERIOUSLY

WRITTEN BY A COP: Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or a loved one’s life. In daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation… This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, & everyone you know. After reading these 9 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you… Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse.
RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.. The driver won’t see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.
DON’T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,
and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR ,
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE..

If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, Repeat:
DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware:look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor ,
and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door.
Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women
are attempting to get into their cars. C.) Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side.. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then,
it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked ‘for help’ into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late
and she thought it was weird.. The police told her ‘Whatever you do, DO NOT
open the door..’ The lady then said that it sounded like the baby
had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,
whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.’ He told her that they think a serial killer
has a baby’s cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby.. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby’s cries outside their doors when they’re home alone at night.

10. Water scam! If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your outside taps full blast so that you will go out to investigate and then attack.

Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbors! Please pass this on
This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby Theory was mentioned on America ’s Most Wanted when they profiled
the serial killer in Louisiana

I’d like you to forward this to all the women you know.
It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle..
I was going to send this to the ladies only,
but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc.,
you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

Send this to any woman you know that may need
to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it
and it’s better to be safe than sorry..
Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life.

SKAM S04E04 Clip 4 - The Best Of Islam

NOORA: What is this again? We’re here for my sake?
SANA: Yes, of course we’re here for your sake.
NOORA: Just to look at muslim boys and stuff.
SANA: Aren’t you tired of white boys now? I thought we had to get out, meet new types of people, see that there’s plenty of fish in the sea. You know what I mean?
NOORA: But you said muslim boys just use Norwegian girls.
SANA: It’s good that you’re converting to Islam, then.
NOORA: Don’t turn around now, okay? But are those boys looking at us?
SANA: How shouldl I see if they’re looking at us if I can’t turn around?
NOORA: Oh my God, they’re coming over!
SANA: Stay cool.
NOORA: Stay cool? I’m really fuckign cool! Hi there!
SANA: Hi!
NOORA: Hi.
BOY1: Can we sit here?
SANA AND NOORA: Yes, of course.
JONAS: It’s okay? Great!
SANA: Sit down!
NOORA: Hi! Yes, hi.
ALI: Ali.
NOORA: Noora.
ALI: Nice to meet you.
NOORA: Noora, it’s a pleasure.
SANA: Sana, it’s a pleasure.
ALI: Ali, it’s a pleasure.
JONAS: Jonas. It was sana?
SANA: Yes.

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Sick

Tony has created a chatroom.

Tony has invited Bruce.

Tony: I heard a SNEEZE.

Bruce: Riveting information.

Tony: You know what this means?!

Bruce: Someone received Thor’s blessings?

Tony: SOMEONE IS SICK.

Tony: We need to find them and quarantine them. I will not have the Avengers benched just because they can’t breathe through both nostrils.

Bruce: snot…

Tony: what

Bruce: snot so bad

Tony has left the chat.

Y/N has joined the chat.

Y/N: it has begun …

Bruce: what?

Y/N: MY DESCENT INTO AGONY

Bruce: Did you finish your favorite book?

Y/N: I have a cold.

Tony has joined the chat.

Tony: So it’s you!

Y/N: Give me a hug, Tony.

Tony: No!

Y/N: Where is he, Bruce?

Bruce: Lab, as always.

Tony: STAY BACK!

Y/N: WE’RE ALL IN THIS SUFFERING TOGETHER!

Tony has been disconnected.

Y/N: Seeing Tony trip made me feel a lot better.

Thor has joined the chat.

Thor: I HAVE JUST SENSED A CHANGE IN YOUR HEALTH. IT APPEARS YOU HAVE A COLD. FEAR NOT, I, THOR, SON OF ODIN, SHALL SAVE YOU!

Keep reading

Klance - soulmate au

It happens for the first time when he is five.

He’s lying in bed with a cold, eating the chicken soup his mother made him, when he suddenly hears a bunch of children sing.

Lance recognizes the song immediately. It’s one of those they make you sing in kindergarten. He drops his spoon into the bowl and calls for his mom excitedly.

His soulmate must be around his age.


Keith almost falls off his bike from giggling.

He’s on his way home from school when his soulmate listens to some song about butts. It’s form him, he knows that.

It’s not what they usually listen to and it’s become kind of a habbit. They will listen to something with really weird lyrics at the most unexpected of times just to make Keith laugh. His parents find it a bit inappropriate at times but Keith doesn’t mind. He can feel his soulmate’s amusement each time and it makes him laugh even harder.

He likes to think about what his soulmate must be like. They mostly listen to pop-rock but sometimes classical music too. Keith likes it. It’s a nice contrast to his own undefinied taste in music. He also hears a lot of wedding and birthday songs so they must have a big family.

Their lives seem to be quite different but Keith likes to thinks that they complete each other.


Lance finds his soulmate’s taste in music weird. It’s not that he doesn’t like the songs, so far he liked all of them in some way. But there are so many different genres. He’s sure that his soulmate is one of those people who listen to everything as long as it sounds good in some way.

He keeps playlists. One playlist for every year since he turned 12. There are a lot of songs in them and they’re taking up a lot of memory but he refuses to delete anything.


When he’s 14 Keith is on edge. There have been no songs for over a week and he is starting to freak out. His soulmate usually listens to music every single day, so when there are no songs at all for that long… something must be very wrong, right?

Keep reading

Halftime Show*

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader
Rating: Explicit - 18+ only
Summary: Chris and Reader have some naughty time together during the Super Bowl halftime show.
Word Count: 1.8k
Genre: NSFW/SMUT
Warnings: Swearing and unprotected sex. [Wrap your wang before you bang.]
Author’s Note: Might not be my greatest work since I wrote it in a hurry, but I couldn’t pass up this opportunity. Congrats to the Pats, by the way.

Originally posted by chrisxchrisxchris

“C'mon, you can do better… don’t fuck this one up, guys!” Chris yelled, clapping his hands as if he was the coach. “Don’t you dare to do this to us!”

Proud yelling, muttered cursing and stressed screaming everywhere around you in the VIP area of the stadium. The fans sitting, standing or jumping roared their stress out as your team was in a difficult time. The halftime was fast approaching and the Patriots struggled, facing the seemingly glorious Falcons.

“Don’t freak out. Relax, big boy,” you soothed, rubbing your boyfriend’s tensed back as he tapped his foot on the floor.

“How can we relax, Y/N?!” Scott, his brother told you and you rolled eyes, mentally noticing him he wasn’t helping at all.

Keep reading

Dysphoria Tips

To start this post off, not all of these tips will work for everyone! Everyone’s dysphoria is different and everyone has different things that help! 

Also, I am not a doctor or anything like that! And I am a trans guy, so that’s what this is all coming from, I can try to look up how other genders deal with dysphoria, but I think a lot of these ones will also help other genders


- Showering (I know this doesn’t help everyone)
Okay, so I know it may seem like confronting your physical form may not be the right thing to do, and it might not be, but for me taking a shower/bath really helps because I focus more on the routine and what I’m washing than my actual body
Also! Using products that match your gender might really help!! I use the more “masculine” smelling products for my body and it’s super nice ^^ They also have products that are more “gender neutral” if that’s more your thing

- Do something distracting that you enjoy
For example, I love going on walks, drawing, writing, and gaming and any of things things could be distractions from things that you don’t want to think about! You of course don’t need to pick one of the things I enjoy doing, there are lots of things you could do like sports, blogging, listening to music, hanging out with your pets (they aren’t going to judge you!), etc.

- Find someone who won’t judge you!
I know this might be hard for some of you, but I know that I have at least one person to talk to every time I get upset about this sort of thing! My friends will not misgender me, and they will reassure me that I am a guy and I do pass, and all that good stuff! If someone is hurting you and misgendering you and not respecting you, you can cut them out of your life! You are not obligated to keep these people around because of their feelings
Pets can be used for this too! Your animals will never judge you :3 Hell, they probably don’t even know what gender is :D

- Find things about yourself that you like
This doesn’t have to be about your body, but it can be! If you take the time to think about positive aspects of yourself, you might feel a little better. And if you can think about the positive things about your body, like the color of your eyes or the shade of your skin, or how great your smile is, or how cool your hair was in that one selfie, it might make you feel a little better about how you’re feeling about yourself right now c:
If you don’t want to or can’t think about positive things about your body, try thinking about things you’re good at or things you like about your personality! Like how great of a person you are, how nice you can be, how cool you are, or how dedicated you are! Something like that!

- Treat yourself
I know not everyone can go buy themselves their favorite dinner or anything like that due to money, but you can do simple things like watch your favorite movie! Or just let yourself eat that expensive ice cream you bought last week :3 Curl up in your favorite blanket with that one pillow that’s just right, or put on that makeup/outfit that you love! It’s in the little things

- Try not to think about “passing”
I know this is extremely hard, but “passing” is just a social construct. Nobody “looks like a boy” because boys can look like anyone, and the same goes for other genders as well! This is definitely a hard thing to tell yourself, especially since a lot of people don’t get it, but it might help some of you!

- Find inspiration!
Find someone who you look up to, or who is transitioning/has transitioned. Some people (like me) might feel resentment at them for being further into their transition than them, but other might (and should try to) be filled with hope and positivity by seeing that things get better and that it is possible to change yourself into how you want to (or do) see yourself

- Look back
If you’ve already started your transition, look back to months, or years ago! You will be surprised at how far you’ve come
You might even feel more hopeful about the future after having seen how much you’ve changed since before

- Find people to talk to
Find people who are, or have been, in the same or a similar scenario; they know what it’s like and they may be able to help you! They can share what it was like for them and what helped them

- Just. Stop.
Seriously, if you can, don’t do anything that day. Sometimes, people just need a break or some time alone. So, if you’ve been saving up those hours at work, take the day off if you can! If you know there’s nothing important at school the next day, try to stay home and not put yourself through more stuff
Keep yourself safe and comfortable during your break! Maybe use this time to use one of the other techniques at the same time ^^

- Keep a diary
This might seem silly, but I keep a diary off and on and it really helps me! Sometimes people just need to open up, but not to a person 
I named my diary Tina, so it kind of felt like I was talking to a person, though haha
Also, just getting all of this down on paper (or on the screen) might help

- Wear your favorite outfit!!
Find that outfit that makes you feel like a hundred bucks and wear it! It doesn’t matter if you’re staying in your house or going somewhere, wear that outfit and own it! Take a lot of pictures if you like the way it looks c:

- Selfies
Take selfies when you look hella good and how you want to look, so that when you’re feeling down and dysphoric, you can look back at your selfies and be like “damnnn I look hot”

- Workout
This might seem like a horrible idea, but I’ve heard that it works wonders! Just go get beefy or run into your legs feel like jelly
This might also help you sleep, which might help by getting rid of your thoughts

- Sleep
If you can take a nap, or just crash out, do it! You don’t have anything planned and these thoughts won’t stop? Go to sleep. You won’t be thinking of anything if you’re unconscious

- Avoid negativity
If you know someone is going to bring you down, avoid them
Same goes with places! If you know that a certain place is going to be negative or bring negative thoughts on, it’s probably best to avoid that place

- Drink ice water
I find that the painfully cold liquid can really wipe the mind with it’s shocking temperature

- Meditate
If you’re into meditation, or want to try it, I hear it does wonders to find that inner peace and just forget you have a body or end up thinking more positively about that body

- Watch your favorite show
Focusing on something you love, like a series filled with interested characters who aren’t you and find themselves in lots of situations can really take your mind off of things

- Burn incense or candles
Burn it right next to your bed (carefully tho) and make sure it’s a scent that you love! This way, if you don’t get out of bed, you can still have something to enjoy

- Read
Read a book, or a fanfiction, or anything that will capture your full attention, so that you have something better to focus on

- Modify your body!!
Like piercings, and hair dye, and stuff! Hell, even those temporary tattoos are pretty cool :3 This way, you can feel like you’re doing stuff to your body on your own terms
You can even just draw on yourself with a sharpie or something!

- Clean
Maybe just do some laundry or put things in neat little piles! Any amount of stress taken off will feel super good and also you might find that one outfit you lost months ago! (if you’re anything like me haha)

- Name and pronouns
Write down your name and pronouns on things to make you feel a little better seeing that that’s what you want to be called, and it can just be written down like that!
You could also ask some supportive friends to read them or just call you by them for no reason at the moment haha

-  Take up a new hobby
You could spend the time you spend being dysphoric, doing something you enjoy! Learn a new language, or learn how to do arts and crafts, or buy some gardening supplies!

- Save up money
Just stick some coins from the dryer in a jar and start saving up for your transition! It’ll make you feel like things are going faster than they are

And remember: You are valid! No matter what anyone tells you, or how you feel, you are valid! <3

  • Junkrat: Hey Lucio, can you pass the ketchup?
  • Lucio: Hey’ve you guys ever tried natural ketchup?
  • Tracer: *spits* Natural ketchup?!
  • Lucio: Yeah. It tastes like regular ketchup except there’s no high fructose corn syrup in it. It’s more… natural.
  • D.Va: Hm. Does it taste better?
  • Lucio: Uhh, I like it more but I guess it’s an acquired taste. Regular ketchup tastes kind of… sugary to me now.
  • D.Va: Hm.
  • Tracer: Hm.
  • Junkrat: Yeah.
  • Genji: Hm. Is it still red?
  • Lucio: Reddish-brown. Lil’ darker than Heinz.
  • Tracer: Can you… can you put it on french fries?
  • Lucio: I use it like regular ketchup.
  • D.Va: Can you get it at a normal grocery store?
  • Lucio: I think so, yeah.
  • Junkrat: Hey Lucio, is it… a place?
  • Lucio: …No?
  • Genji: Is it expensive?
  • Lucio: Ah, regular-priced.
  • Tracer: Is it… pulpy?
  • Lucio: No.
  • D.Va: Does it need to be refrigerated?
  • Lucio: That’s up to you.
  • Genji: It’s soupy, right?
  • Lucio: No.
  • Junkrat: Do you eat it every day?
  • Lucio: I could.
  • D.Va: Does it smell good?
  • Lucio: Yeah.
  • Junkrat: Is it edible?
  • Lucio: …Yes.
  • Tracer: Is it… smaller than a bread box?
  • Lucio: Uhm… I guess that depends on the type of…
  • Tracer: YES OR NO?
  • Lucio: Uh, yes!
  • Genji: Is it all natural?
  • Lucio: Yes.
  • D.Va: Is it a condiment?
  • Lucio: Yes!
  • Tracer: Is it mustard?!
  • Lucio: No, 18!
  • Genji: Is it organic relish?!
  • Lucio: No, 19!
  • D.Va: Is it natural ketchup?!!
  • Lucio: YESSS!
  • ALL: YEAHHH!!!! *collective slow-motion jubilation as Little Wonders plays*
  • submitted by yzarro
youtube

Steven Universe but Yellow Diamond is Voiced by Patrick Warburton

Before Patti LuPone was chosen to voice the villainous Yellow Diamond, the Crewniverse had a wide selection of possible candidates to fill the role.  Among them was none other than Patrick Warburton, known for his roles in The Emperor’s New Groove (Kronk) and Family Guy (Joe Swanson).

Though Warburton was passed over for the part, early recording sessions have been discovered and leaked to us for your entertainment.

Who do YOU think voiced YD better? 

 I think the thing I love about Sauron most as a character is just how much he actually *revels* in his evil? It’s amazing to read and even better to write. I mean this is the guy who laughed as Numenor fell, the guy who specifically stole all of the black horses from Rohan,  The guy who refers to shelob as his cat. I dono. It’s just…I admire you sir, for your complete and total dedication to this.

People always make Juliet out to be dumb in Romeo and Juliet, but I think she at least had some sense where Romeo didn't have much of any
  • Romeo: I was thinking about this chick earlier who I said I was in love with but now I love that girl over there that is very likely to either belong to my family's enemy or be close with my family's enemy as it is their party I am crashing
  • Juliet: I do not like being so young and forced into a relationship with an older man, but oh there's a cute guy more my age over there. And since he's here he must have been invited and is there for a reasonable love match for myself
  • --
  • Romeo: We should kiss right now at this party
  • Juliet: No that is a super dumb idea
  • Romeo: *kisses her anyway*
  • Juliet: That was dumb of you
  • --
  • Romeo: We should get married right now
  • Juliet: We don't know each other. Shouldn't we wait until at least a little time has passed?
  • Romeo: Like tomorrow?
  • Juliet: Sure, fine.
  • --
  • Juliet: We're married now, so we have to try and make things better between our families.
  • Romeo: Right.
  • Romeo: It seems I have killed your cousin and am now exiled.
  • --
  • Juliet: Ok so since Romeo fucked up I'm gonna fix this shit by taking a harmless sleeping liquid. He'll come and get me and we can go away together.
  • Romeo: *immediately kills himself*
  • Juliet: For fucks sake.
compassion. | 1

Originally posted by jeonsshi

2 | 3

not requested.

“Your ass looks great.” “Will you fuck off for a second?”

“You’ve really fucked me over this time.”

“Please let me in.”

genre: fuckboi!jungkook, roommate!jungkook, possibly smut in the future? angstish for now tbh

How you ended up with the world’s biggest fuckboy as your roommate, you don’t know; actually you did but still why you stayed you don’t know. This was seriously one of the world’s wonders; there were no common interests or reasons we had to get along but somehow we both ended up in this place together. You had been placed in the same apartment thanks to your friend Jimin who was moving to his own place and he said he’d look for a roommate for you, you didn’t expect that guy to move the worst person he could possibly choose into your home.

“I’m sorry, okay? He needed a place to stay after getting kicked out of Youngjae’s place.”, Jimin sympathetically told you whilst you tried to enjoy a meal. “If they kicked out, what makes you think I want him?” “Come on, he’s like a younger brother to me, he’s your age. Give him a chance?” “He’s literally the worst, since the day I met him I’ve wanted to murder him.” “Jeez, you need to stop hanging out with Yoongi.” “Besides the point, Jimin.” “I’m sorry, just give him a chance, if you can’t stand him, just leave, come to me, I don’t care, but give it a go. I kinda do wanna live on my own now?” “Am I the problem?”, you asked unamused by his hectic argument. “No, no, it’s not you, it’s just easier to get to work and school from my new place. You’re always welcome over if you need to stay or something, don’t worry.” “Fine, this is all for you Park Jimin.”

The things you do for this guy; you had a soft spot for Jimin, he was like an older brother to you. The one you never had, he really needed a roommate and soon you became friends, that was after realising you guys had mutual friends. Well, now you were living with Jungkook for Jimin’s sake.


It wasn’t too bad at first, neither of you spoke to each other and when he did attempt to make conversation you would simply tell him: “Did we agree on talking at this time or am i hearing things?”, causing him to sigh and give up on trying to gain your friendship. Other times you were forced to speak to him, like when he was in front of the fridge, the stove, the microwave or the door. “Move out the way dickead.”, you told him after he was blocking the entrance to the bathroom. “That’s not how you pronounce Jungkook!”, he pouted as he dried his hair with a towel. “Was I trying to pronounce your name? I don’t think so and you’re still in the way!” “My apologies, my lady.” He would always attempt to joke around with you and be friendly, but you assumed he was doing so to be civil not to be friends with you after he dropped you and Isla back in high school, even if you weren’t friends with Isla anymore, it still sucked.

Keep reading

zimbits au wherein a run in with the lax bros leads to a run in with jack

Eric’s walking down the street, latte in one hand and phone in the other, only a very little bit lost on his spontaneous scenic detour to the library. He’s halfway through composing a tweet when several air-horns blast in his direction at once.

He swears, jumps about a mile out of his skin, and drops both his coffee and his phone.

The coffee, sadly, goes up before it comes down, and manages to splash all over his front before spilling across his shoes too. He quickly retrieves his phone from the pavement before it’s similarly attacked by the travelling coffee, and checks it over for damage. He sighs out when he sees it’s only a little scratched on the side of the case, and presses a palm to his chest to try and calm the furious beating of his heart.

He looks over to the house across the way, out of which several, men—actually, boys, Eric’s going to call them after that stunt—are laughing at him, and high-fiving each other. Eric flushes and screws his lips together, telling himself not to cry in front of them, not to give them the satisfaction.

“Hey! Dickfaces!”

Eric looks behind him to see a moustached man flipping the bird to the boys in the house across the street.

“Fuck off to your basement of inadequacy and wine coolers, you absolute shitfuckers.”

The boys don’t take his advice, but rather, blast their air-horns again which causes Eric to hunch up his shoulders.

“Hey, brah, you alright?” The man walks up to Eric and looks him over. “Shit, dude. They got you good.”

Eric sighs out, trying to keep his composure. “It’s alright. Thanks for telling them off.”

“Fucking LAX bros. I live for telling them off. Come on inside and I’ll help you clean up.”

Keep reading

Star Light, Star Bright

Originally posted by daenso

Star Light, Star Bright
Ship: Shooting Star/ Guardian Angel!Jimin | Reader
Description: When you wish upon a star, you never really think he’d come to visit.
Warnings: Fluff, Intercourse, Fingering, Slight Cum Play, Slight Dirty Talk, ANGST
Word Count: 7,595
A/N: Fluffier (sorta) than my other writings, and maybe not as dirty. It’s still there though. I was starting to think I’d never get around to writing this but I’m so glad I finally finished!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Okay but think about this: It's another RFA party and the theme is karaoke. MC ends the party with revealing her special talent: Rapping.

I AM 100% FOR THIS TBH (ง ˙o˙)ว


{RFA PARTY}

  • It was nearing the end of the event
  • Everybody was pretty damn drunk off of the copious amounts of fine wine Jumin supplied
  • It was more like an afterparty at this point
  • Everybody was relaxed and laughing
  • You were all sitting together  joking around
  • Most had gotten a turn on the stage to sing karaoke by this point
  • Yoosung and Saeyoung sung a duet together
  • Zen was cut off
  • Now they were all urging you to go up and take the mic
    • “Come on, MC. I’m sure you’ll be great!” Jaehee pressed
    • “Oh…Alright! I’ll do it!” you ran to the stage
  • They were cheering for you from their seats
    • “What do you think she’ll sing? I bet it will be something cute like her! A pop song maybe?!” Yoosung was starry-eyed
    • “5 bucks says she picks ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,” Saeyoung laughed
    • “I hope it’s a soulful love ballad,” Zen hiccuped
    • “Will you guys shut the hell up. She’s about to start,” Saeran barked
  • Your cheeks were flush and you cleared your throat
    • “Ahem…”
  • RAPPER MODE ⇨E N G A G E D
  • Holy damn
  • You’re spittin’ fire
  • Bars to rival Nicki in Monster
  • Literally everyones jaws drop
  • EVERYONE
  • Yoosung fainted for a second after screaming really loud omg
  • Zen whips his phone out and is recording
    • “Holy SHIT IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?!” Saeyoung is drunkenly adjusting his glasses
  • Saeran has kicked his damn chair over in excitement and is now bobbing to the flow omg he’s so proud
    • “V ARE YOU-? OMG Guys V is passed out drunk on the floor and someone…drew kitty whiskers and a dot on his nose who did that?!” Jaehee burst out laughing
  • Saeyoung snickered and pat the marker in his pocket
    • “Where did Jumin go he’s missing this?!” Yoosung looked around
    • “He’s stumbling up to the stage whaaaaat????” Saeyoung gasped
    • “YOU BETTER NOT STOP HER YOU JERK OR YOU’LL REGRET IT!” Zen screamed
    • “He’s GRABBING THE OTHER MIC!” Saeran yelled
  • O M G
  • JUMIN AND MC RAP BATTLE
  • He started rattling off lines
  • HE WAS PRETTY GOOD
  • EVERYBODY HAS LOST THEIR SHIT AT THIS POINT
  • Saeyoung is rolling around on the floor screaming “IVE DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN THANK YOU JESUS”
  • Yoosung and Jaehee are hyperventilating
  • Zens hands are shaking from screaming as he tries to get this ALL ON FILM
  • SAERAN HAS JUMPED UP ON THE NEAREST TABLE AND IS HOLDING UP HIS LIGHTER LIKE ITS A DAMN ROCK CONCERT
  • They are Sh00k
  • This is the greatest party E V E R
  • Jumin and you are just going back and forth like nothing and feeding off everyones energy
  • He’s good but you kill him with your last verse
  • You drop the mic and the whole RFA rushes the stage and just
Ultimate Viktuuri FicRec

(☉‿☉✿) I know y’all have been craving some Viktuuri fics, even more so since it’s already ended and we have to wait for season 2. So what better way to pass time than to read some good ol’ fanfics. Here’s a list for you guys. ENJOY   (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧


From the moon by ButterBeerBitch

Victor Nikiforov, the living legend, winner of five consecutive World Championships and five straight Grand Prix Finals - was in Yuuri’s bed. Yuuri’s bumpy, squeaky bed, with the Pokémon stickers peeling off the frame and the unwashed sheets.
“Smells like you,” Victor mumbled, careful and coy.

Yuuri was on the verge of passing out.

-

Or that one time Victor finds out why Yuuri has never let him inside his bedroom because….well, we all know why…


Things we’re all too young to know by incode

Victor miscalculates a date.


Family Arrangements by xshiroi_aki

“It’s like watching a kid, his parents, and his grandparents.”

Her marriage status aside, it kind of made sense.

That was an arrangement she could work with.


In your area by Suzariah

“Hot Russian singles are in your area.”

Yuuri probably wishes he had adblock. Victor is amused.


Get me to the Church on time by InsomniacArrest

Stories of various characters on the day of Victor and Yuuri’s wedding.

Everyone on the big day as Victor and Yuuri prepare to get hitched.


Disaster by LFMH021

“I know that one way or another, Viktor will marry you anyway. I will be your best man right so–” Phichit stated.

Chris raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me? I’m pretty sure I am the best man in their wedding.”

Yurio frowned and crossed his arms. “I was the one who suffered when these two were still pining each other. I think I deserve to be with them at the altar at the very least.”

Yuuri and Viktor glanced at each other, torn.

Yuuri didn’t really expect that Viktor’s statement about their engagement and [if] marriage would bring disaster and chaos into their night right before the Grand Prix Final’s Short Program.


Habit by LFMH021

Yuuri has developed a habit. Before competitions, whenever he wants to concentrate and exercise at the same time, he faces the wall, braces his forearms on it and then wiggle his hips while trying to recite over and over again his routine.

With earphones in and eyes shut, he doesn’t see the way others stare at him. Viktor does, though, and try to bring their attentions away. Phichit and Chris are little shits, as usual.


Amateur or Expert? Watermellonsmellinfellon

“The instructor at the local ice rink was cute. Cute with his glasses on and downright sexy with them off. And Victor just really wanted to spend some alone time with him, but there seemed to be no free time in the other’s schedule. Which left Victor considering other methods.”

In which Victor pretends he isn’t a figure skating genius all so he could talk to Yuuri.


Next time he’ll ask by Kaylin and Kira (Saphie)

Yuuri gets experimental and tries out something new in bed – calling Viktor “daddy” – but because of Viktor’s insecurities about aging, things go unexpectedly (and absurdly) wrong. [Not a daddy!kink fic so much as a humorous subversion.]


Passive-Aggressive by JapaneseAnimeFreak16

Chris has seen many strange things in his life, but he’s never seen this.

“Victor…why are you eating cereal with a spatula?”


Love Like You by LFMH021

“Viktor, it’s your turn to throw the garbage, right?”

“Nope~ Can’t remember such an agreement~” Viktor sing-sang, tiptoeing back to their bedroom.

“Yuuri, did you eat my pint of ice cream while I was out?”

“H-Huh? No way!” Yuuri spluttered with a speck of chocolate on the corner of his lips.

With each other and Makkachin by their sides on their own cozy home with framed (stolen, random and wedding) photographs occupying most of the wall, Viktor and Yuuri couldn’t ask for more.

[Basically, just a domestic Viktuuri fluff wherein Episode 11 was resolved, both of them retired but they both applied as coaches [with Yuuri as skating tutor for kids], they got married and were now living happily in their own home with Makkachin in Spain. Alternating POVs.]


Liar Liar Pants on Fire by shingeki_no_llama

Yuuri’s (not-so-secret) secret gay crush on Victor is discovered after Victor storms into his room unannounced! How will his idol and newfound coach react?

Hint: he will be very touched *wink*


Of Onsen-Holly Water by Moe_Bear

So, here’s the deal: in order to achieve such perfection, one must obligatory have contracted with Satan himself. There is no other explanation. Yuri Plisetsky is damn sure about it.


All the Times Yuuri ran from Viktor, and the One Time He Didn’t by Reisil

Or, the five times Yuuri ran from Viktor, and the time that Viktor held on.
In which Yuuri finds that he is constantly running from Viktor, until Viktor decides he’s had enough.


Just Date Me Already by Ame (Ulan)

Victor has never wanted anything more in his life.

“Yuuri, go out with me.”

“Eeh?”


let him know by mutation

Victor returns to Hasetsu alone. When he arrives at the Katsuki household, someone is waiting for him.


remembrance by doubletan

Victor remembers the confusion, hurt and rejection when he finds the empty hotel room that had once been occupied by an individual bearing the name of Katsuki Yuri hours ago, and said individual was now en route to Japan. He remembers sinking to the carpeted floor in his pajamas before returning to his own room to curl up in his comforter. He remembers Yakov coming over to help him pack with pity evident in his eyes when the check out time had long past and Victor was nowhere to be found. And all Victor could do was lie immobile on the bed with tears he thought would never end. He remembered lecturing his own self mentally, that it was ridiculous to act this way for someone you had only met once, but yet, he could not deny the fact that last night was the first time Victor had felt honestly living, relieved from the burdens and expectations as a renowned and international ice skater. Being with Yuri had felt absolutely right.

or a fic of how a heartbroken Victor had fared since that banquet and how he finally won Yuri’s heart


Looking for A Clue by rosenlight

It takes one touch and Yuuri’s head goes haywire.


Take My Hand - Take My Whole Life Too by shingeki_no_llama

Victor Nikiforov thinks he knows just who has their thoughts scrawled so carelessly on the back of his hand. He can only pray he is right.

———
Soulmate AU where the thoughts of your soulmate inscribe themselves on your skin in a temporary ever-changing tattoo


Ask Me by MarginalMadness

Sometimes life doesn’t work out the way you want it to. Especially when you give someone else the power to break your heart.


stay by my side by paranoid_fridge

“Finally!” somebody shouts and Yuuri jumps. Russian Yuri stomps toward him, expression dark. “He’s on his third round of that.” Yuri jerks a thumb to the rink behind his back. “Make him stop before he hurts himself.”

Aka Yuuri says “let’s end this”, Viktor turns to melodramatic skating, they get to cry and kiss (in that order) and all is well in the end.


Masks off by emulikule

And so the story goes that a playboy comes to a town, makes it fall in love with him and then proceeds to get himself enticed by the most mysterious person there.

Wait… did it really go like that?


Stress Is Bad by MEIXIU

“I can’t handle this. Stress is bad for the baby.” Yuuri deadpans.
If everyone were drinking something, they would have spat out their drinks in surprise.


An Examination of Stamina by Viktor Nikiforov by Anonymous_Ostrich

“Viktor…” Yuuri’s voice was low and gravelly, his teeth grazing the bend of Viktor’s neck, “Is it really okay to keep going?” His cock stirred inside of Viktor, still rock hard, still eager. The feeling of Yuuri’s semen trickling slowly out of his stretched hole made Viktor shiver, and he grabbed Yuuri’s chin in his hand, yanking his face up so that their eyes could meet.

“I’ll say this once, Yuuri. Give me everything you’ve got. Don’t stop even if I beg for you to.”


Accidentally Seductive  by braveten

Yuuri Katsuki is a walking contradiction.

(And it’s driving Viktor mad.)


Out For A Walk by Cinnamean

Yuri goes out with Yakov to explore town and gets separated from his coach. Walking around town with no money for food, he runs into the two infamous lovebirds.


Darling, Please Don’t Ask Me by HisRedEmpress

Sometimes, letting things left unsaid can be harmful.

But sometimes, only sometimes, there’s just no words needed.


yuri is even more done with everyone than previously believed by thankyouforexisting

There are things Yuri isn’t proud of, regardless of how superior to everyone else he is. Few things, of course, but still there nonetheless, though he loathes exposing them. One of his regrets might be, for example, not reading the summary of Fifty Shades of Grey before his mom mentioned off-handedly, “We should watch it, Yura.” (He can never look at her in the same way again.)

Going out for Victor’s “ exciting stag night” (which is a terrible name for it, as it mostly consisted in him sitting down and watching skaters get progressively drunker as they tried to do jumps off ice on the corner of a busy street, while everyone stared) and allowing himself to be roped into a hopeless bet has just become his newest, most fresh regret.


Unwritten by kaizuka

Soulmates AU where whatever you write on your own skin appears on your soulmate, but when there is a language barrier, meeting becomes just a little more difficult than it should be.


A Safe Place To Fall by uchiuchi

“Can I…?”

Viktor’s voice breaks Yuuri out of his trance and he focuses on Viktor, waiting for the words to come out. But Viktor doesn’t say anything more, eyes flickering between Yuuri’s eyes and mouth, and then his finger stops moving and he pulls it back.

He looks like he has more he wants to say, but doesn’t.


I’m Right Next Door by i_like_my_eggs_benedict

“The first time he heard it, Yuri Plisetsky thought he was imagining it.”


On Our Love by LiaoftheDawn

Everything was so easy and real with Yuuri. Even with the lingering tension and the unspoken inevitability of separation, they somehow managed to fall back into something close to a routine, effortless conversation, easy jabs and quiet smiles and something he wanted to hold on to for the rest of his life. Home.

Or the one where Victor thinks he’s doing the right thing, manages to disappoint all the Yuris in his life, and still everything works out at the end.


victory cheer by SportsAnimeRuinedMyLife (KnightOfRage)

Victor kissed Yuuri. You better believe all of these people have something to say about it.

Or…Mari is exhausted, Minako is confused, Nishigori is supportive, Yakov is annoyed, Yuri is pissed, Phichit is the best friend anyone could ever have and Yuuri just wants to kiss Victor again.


Five Kisses by oh_imintrouble

It hadn’t seemed out of the ordinary at the time. Victor had always been free with his affection; throwing out compliments, light caresses, even the occasional peck to the cheek. After a little over a week of having him as his coach, Yuuri was sure he had gotten used to it. It was just a Westerner thing, no use getting riled up if Victor wasn’t going to be stopping it anytime soon.

Then it happened.

~~~

Victor likes kissing Yuuri and Yuuri is frustratingly dense


rumour has it by lunaetude

Viktor Nikiforov is a genius. He tops the level without having to study and he can perform most spells without his wand. He was the second-ever first-year Seeker in the school, and the first Slytherin one at that. He’s a Parselmouth and he’s tamed the other basilisk hidden in the school’s plumbing. He has washboard abs and really defined hipbones. He’s the only son in a long line of pureblood Slytherins and he’s half-Veela and he can speak Mermish and he was born as Voldemort’s secret daughter which is why he’s prettier than half of the girls in school and—

‘Where do you even get all these?’ Viktor asks, eyebrows drawn together in bemusement. ‘I’m not even a pureblood, I’m Muggleborn.’


Dance Along by feelslikefire

Five Times Victor Kissed Yuuri, and One Time Yuuri Kissed Victor


Hold Onto Me by novocaine_sea

“Let’s end this.” Yuuri said, but it was the last thing he meant.

That was the last thing he wanted to say.


True Eros by Nerd_Queen

Viktor can’t sleep. Thats when he hears it.

A groan


the history books are made for us by d10smessi 

Victor thinks, I’ll never love someone this way again.

or: Victor Nikiforov, on loving Katsuki Yuuri.


a kingdom, or this by perennials 

The problem is, Yuuri sees Viktor’s face light up at every performance except his own.

The problem is, Yuuri takes off his glasses when he skates.

The problem is, Yuuri doesn’t see.


Addicted (to the taste of you) by smudgesofink

It’s mortifying. Of course it’s mortifying.

But even with his hands restless by his sides and his stomach buzzing with butterflies and adrenaline and nerves, Yuuri finds that he oddly doesn’t mind the attention. Or rather, Yuuri can’t bring himself to care, for once. He’s exhausted to the bone from his performance, eyes slow and limbs heavy from running on little to no sleep for more than 24 hours now, not to mention kind of emotionally drained from his mental breakdown earlier.

If anything, Yuuri kind of wants Victor to kiss him again. Preferably right now.

At once.

Immediately.

(It’s turning into a problem.)


Five Times Viktor and Yuuri Were Jealous of Makkachin (and the one time they weren’t) by braveten

“Viktor will do whatever is necessary in order to never see Yuuri cry again. He’d walk miles across broken glass. He’d relinquish all of his gold medals to JJ Leroy. He’d let Phichit hack his Instagram account.”


Viktor and Yuuri are jealous of Makkachin on multiple occasions, but the adorable brown poodle might be the only way to get them to realize their love for one another.


constellations of me and you by theargonaut

He can’t look away from Viktor, even when he turns and catches him staring. Truth be told, he can never look away from Viktor. Not even in the beginning; surely, not in any dimension or attic of spacetime, could Katsuki Yuuri have ever looked away from Viktor Nikiforov. And when Viktor looks back at him, smiling, it’s all that matters to him.


Question and Answer by chellethewriter

Viktor is growing old, and his competitors seem to be growing younger and younger. Thus, with every passing year, Viktor finds fewer familiar faces at his Grand Prix banquets, and he wonders whether his attendance has become pointless. What he doesn’t realize, however, is that one unfamiliar, alcohol-reddened face can make the whole night more than worthwhile.


(A canon-compliant retelling of the banquet in which Viktor falls head-over-heels for a certain drunk, Japanese figure skater, and Yuri Plisetsky is both displeased and incredulous).


Pretty For Me by blushunder

A month and a half into becoming more than just skater and coach, Viktor is struck by a realization while Yuuri tries on his old costumes.


Nighttime Sparklers by brumalbreeze

“If anyone should feel lucky, shouldn’t it be me?” Yuuri murmured. “I mean, you’re the Viktor Nikiforov, after all. You could have anyone you want….”

Viktor let his breath fan evenly over Yuuri’s neck as he listened to his words. Though he couldn’t see it, he could imagine Yuuri’s knit brows and small frown. He tightened his grip around Yuuri’s waist and thought about what had happened earlier in the day. This was a different scenario, but Yuuri was feeling anxious and unsure again, and he needed comforting. Viktor didn’t want to mess up this time. He wanted to do things right.


i know my madness by astoryaboutwar

It’s hardly a secret that Victor Nikiforov is a massive player.

(In which Yuuri doesn’t blow the Grand Prix Finals the first time round, does blow Victor, and everything changes but ends up the same.)


– updated version below this  (✿◠‿◠)–


I want to stay close to you by Cloud111

Yuuri swallowed, letting his head turn back to the legend sprawled out on his bed. To the first person to reach out for him after he’d pushed them away. To the man that had taught him to love himself and taught him to want things because he could get them if only he tried.

“I want… you.”


Yuuri!!! On Pole by Noble_Nook

Viktor Nikiforov is an accomplished, world famous dancer-turned-choreographer who has struck out to rekindle a spark he seems to be missing after so many years on and off the stage, only to soon find it wrapped around a stripper pole in Japan.


Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by Reiya

‘…Of all the rivalries in the world of sports over the years, perhaps none has become so legendary as that of Russian figure skater Viktor Nikiforov and his rival, Japanese Yuuri Katsuki…’

A single event changes the course of Yuuri’s life, throwing him into a bitter rivalry with Viktor Nikiforov that spans across his entire skating career. But as the years go on, rivalry and hatred begin to develop into something very different and Yuuri doesn’t seem to be able to stay away, no matter how hard he tries.

Hatred and love are two sides of the same coin and even though everything changes, some things are still meant to be.


On My Love by RikoJasmine

For the second time, the Sochi Grand Prix Finals arrive, and with it a reborn Yuuri Katsuki. “Viktor,” Yuuri thinks over the pounding of his heart, the crowd going silent as the music begins. “I’ll show the world what you meant to me.”

Yuuri often thinks of his life as Before and After Viktor Nikiforov, the marking point being the day Viktor swept into his life and turned his world upside-down. After many years together, an accident leads to Yuuri suddenly waking up in the Before—back in Detroit, before the GPF, before he ever knew Viktor as anything other than his childhood idol.

As if it had all been just a dream.


I Wanted To Check by insatiablerealist

Yuuri is an artist, Viktor is a ballet teacher, and they find themselves sharing an apartment in Barcelona. The only problem is they speak two different languages, but despite that, they fall in love.

Love Actually AU based on the Colin Firth/language barrier storyline, you don’t need to know the movie to get the story. The setting etc is all changed but the plot is mostly the same.


you’re like heaven to touch by lazulisong

“Is this because I let you watch American movies as a child,” says Yakov flatly. “The ones where the popular boy gives his coat to the pretty girl?”

Victor puts up both eyebrows in a delicately mocking gesture that was unbearable when he was a fey creature of sixteen and makes Yakov yearn to clip him around the ears now, when he’s twenty-eight. “'Let’ me?” he says.


5 Lessons on Sexuality Victor Taught Yuuri (+1 Lesson Yuuri Taught Victor) by angel_kink

Whether Victor realized it or not, he taught Yuuri many valuable things about sexuality. But Yuuri had a lesson for Victor as well.


Move Close by SigmundFreud

Now fully awake Victor could feel his morning wood pressing against his lover’s ass. Damn. He wondered if Yuuri would be upset if he woke the student up for a short love making session before work and school.


the distance between our fingers by awkwardedgeworth

If Otabek were a bystander, he would see Victor Nikiforov being a ruthless coach, raising his voice at Yuri’s less than stellar free leg, It’s a normal occurrence, the older retired skater pointing out areas Yuri can work on.

But Otabek is not a bystander, and he sees the glint of a golden ring from Victor’s right hand, slipped around his ring finger like a reminder.

A reminder that Victor, estranged with nowhere else to go, was picked up by Yuri and Yakov to go back to Russia so he can have a semblance of a life back.

A life without Yuuri Katsuki.


I see the universe in your eyes by fangirlandiknowit

Before Yuuri realizes what’s happening, he’s been kissed by Viktor Nikiforov.

It’s a small kiss, but Viktor’s lips are soft and dry, brushing over his slow enough that he can feel the tingle of it for minutes afterwards.

It was a kiss, and-

If Yuuri wins, he can ask for another.

Maybe more than one, even.

(Maybe he’ll ask for as many kisses as there are stars in the universe.)



The Grass is Dead by ztellar

It had been two days since the house next door had been moved into, and today, Saturday, it seemed that whoever was going to live there had finally moved in themself. It was all anyone in the neighborhood would talk about, Morooka had even stopped by for a surprise visit so that he, Phichit, and Yuuri could watch their new neighbor from Yuuri’s kitchen window.


The only cue of someone even living in the house was the chitter of a sprinkler in both the front and back lawn.


“He’s got a pretty nice looking car, from here,” Morooka commented.


“Yeah but who has a nice car and moves into a shady house?” Phichit retorted, his question seemingly rhetorical. After a beat of silence he made a tch sound and cocked a hip, “Only pimps or rich kids running from their super sad and oppressive lives, that’s who.”


An Alternate Payment Scheme by exclamation

Yuri and Victor never did discuss what Victor’s coaching fees would be. When Yuri brings the subject up again, Victor has some interesting ideas.



Hell No by LoveActually_rps

Would you tell anyone when you accidentally learn that the person you adore the most and the person you hate the most are actually soulmates? Hell no! [– a novel by Yuri Plisetsky]


Buy 1, Get 50% Off by ayyyywhatsup

Yuuri is just a 21 yr old college student who is trying to win at life. When he gets into an argument with his roommate, Phichit, he rushes out of the apartment to make amends. The only shop he can afford is a dainty flower store in the busy city of Detroit.

Flower shop! AU


Then you should have put a ring on it by ObsidianAbyss

Recently, it’s become a trend for students to exchange rings with their significant others. Although Yuuri is very much single and uninterested, he wears a pretty ring that mostly goes unnoticed by his peers.
That is until Victor Nikiforov starts wearing an exact copy of Yuuri’s ring and flaunts it around.

Loosely based on Only the Ring Finger knows


He Did More Than Drink Till Dawn by TrashBambi (orewakei)

Viktor had spent so many nights fantasising about the Japanese man, remembering the way he’d ground against him as he begged Viktor to be his coach. 


Anything Could Happen by Creepikat

After two years Viktor and Yuuri finally get married. They rent a Hotel near Detroit, in a beautiful and snowy place. Everyone’s here. The future husbands are idiots. Phichit is a best man. Christophe too. And somehow he’s even more dashing than usual. This is gonna be a merry mess. 


To Savior by Kaishiru

“Today is all about you,” Yuuri breathed, fingers fanning out over the obvious bulge in his lover’s trousers.

In which Yuuri makes Viktor’s birthday a day he will never forget.


Mille-Feuille by hanakoto

“You-you were talking dirty, weren’t you?”

“Wow, Yuuri! How can you tell? I could be talking about eating chicken soup and you wouldn’t even know.”

Yuuri discovers that Victor is fluent in French.


Better Romance by EttaMills

Yuuri was no playboy, but he did, to people’s shock, have romantic experience before Viktor. However, it was no love story and bad memories tend to reopen old wounds.


Luckily, Viktor is more than h
appy to not only patch up those wounds, but rub a little salt in the person that caused them. 


Clap Back by EttaMills

A few months after the embarrassing Instagram incident, Yuuri had foolishly thought there would be no consequences.


However, certain hockey players learn that you can’t go after Ice Skating’s number one katsudon without dealing with the squad.


a certain playboy by fan_nerd

@v-nikiforov - The handsome playboy has returned to town. Please pay special attention to my Free Skate tomorrow. ♥♥♥

There’s no way that Victor, Yuuri’s childhood idol, could be calling Yuuri a handsome playboy, just because they’d met eyes at two skating events. Besides, a total stranger had given Yuuri the tickets. It would be totally absurd.

Yuuri frowns, turning his head on the pillow. Wouldn’t it?


Later Date by triste

“Here’s the thing, see,” Victor breezes. “Yuuri mysteriously misplaced his suppressants, so now he’ll be going into heat. It’s a terrible shame, I know, but I could never leave him to deal with this on his own. I’m his alpha, remember? And his coach. And his fiancé.”

“It’s the middle of the season!” Yakov roars. “Vitya, you can’t just–”

“See you in five days!” Victor says brightly.

Then the line goes dead.

Yakov hurls his phone at the window in impotent rage, and it actually makes a bigger dent than Yurio’s did.

“I wish people would stop doing that,” Georgi sighs.


Break the Cycle by SigmundFreud

Yuuri’s neck was bright red, matching the colors of his cheeks. His eyes were half-lidded with pupils blown wide. He could try to avoid Victor all he wanted, but standing this close to the man made Yuuri lose all rational thought. Victor was like a drug, the strongest drug Yuuri knew, and he could never reject those lips.

College AU where Yuuri is a grad student addicted to fucking his ex, and Victor is secretly suffering from heartbreak.


Russian for Dummies by cutthroatpixie

“Are you a beginner?”

Viktor was not a beginner. Viktor was the TA supposedly in charge of this study session. Viktor spoke Russian. Viktor was Russian.

“Sure!”


Strange Bedfellows by ikemegane

When Yuri’s childhood crush showed up at his door, naked, full of impossible promises, the young skater didn’t even know what to think. When Yuri somehow ends up with said childhood crush in his bed, however, his body does the thinking for him.


santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight by frolickingangels

Yuuri has a sweet, little surprise for the birthday boy.


Consequences of Jetlag by paintstroke

The morning after Yuuri arrives in St. Petersburg he decides that this might be his one chance to wake Viktor up however he wants…

Shameless fluffy smut, PWP.

Japan is 6 hours ahead of St. Petersburg.


We’ll Remember These Nights by Cornflower

“You look just like the poster in my room,” Yuuri slurred, barely holding himself up in Viktor’s arms, “but you have more clothes on.” He giggled. The words hit Viktor hard, and he didn’t know how much more his weak gay heart could handle. He barely even noticed Yakov leaving the room with his head cradled in his hands.

Or in other words, what really went down at the banquet last year, and what that meant for them now.


So that’s it for now! I’ll update this from time to time but here are some of the fics I found  ╰(◡‿◡✿╰)

Remember to give kudos to the authors!

UPDATED!! (January 02, 2017)

((I know that I didn’t really add a lot but I promise I still have some that I’m going to post, I just feel really lazy atm (▰˘◡˘▰) haha whoops. I thought about making the updated fics into a separate post, sort of like a part two but eh, I decided no to. If there are some repeats from the earlier fics I rec’d let me know so that I can edit it out and also, if you want to submit a fic, please do!   ◕‿◕ ))