you guys are putting me to shame

salvador sobral: *tries to pass an important message about helping refugees but isn’t allowed to bc it’s too political*

salvador sobral: *thanks his sister and the composer luis figueiredo for making the song, giving them all the credit*

salvador sobral: *can’t get excited during the voting bc of his heart condition but when his sister is singing on stage he flails adorably at her performance*

salvador sobral: *during the press conference always refers to THE SONG WINNING - NOT HIMSELF bc that’s it’s the song that really matters*

salvador sobral: *doesn’t consider himself a national hero, he just wants to sing and live a peaceful life, he just hopes the song can make a change*

salvador sobral: *makes a slightly bad worded speech directing at ALL POP MUSIC, and NOT just for Eurovision competitors*

amar pelo dois: *a song with no specified gender, no specified sexuality, just the simplicity and strength of emotions conveyed in song can be applied to almost anyone over the world if you empathize with it, uniting people with a language that not the majority of the world knows about*

tumblr salty people: dude this guy is an arrogant shit saying he’s better than everyone what does he know about eurovision it’s supposed to be glamorous and full of glitter how straight is this guy with his incestuous boring duet ballad that puts anyone to sleep

me: ……….

BBS As Things My Friends Have Said
  • Vanoss : Oh man I've never been the leader of a group before. I...I don't like it...it's too much responsibilty.
  • Delirious : You gun of a son I never eat - a-ate you - fuck! *pause* This is why I can't learn another language I can't even English.
  • Moo : I read that every friend group has the one mom friend and I was thinking and none of us are - *pause* *gasp, quiet voice* I'm the mom friend...
  • Terroriser : I like to think I'm a calm individual and - YOU SON OF A BITCH JENNY PUT MY GOD DAMN SKITTLES DOWN I PAID TWO WHOLE DOLLARS FOR THEM!
  • Mini : I wish I could leave this friend group and join another but making friends is hard and I am socially awkward.
  • Wildcat : Yeah the problem is I'm 6"0 of anger friends with you dumbasses who get emotionally hurt too often and you make me feel sad when you're sad so stop!
  • Nogla : I'm a DUFF. But not like an ugly friend and shit, I'm just who they tease to make themselves feel better so...I'm the...W-T-T-T-M-T-F-B?
  • Lui : I act like a child to cover up I've lived too long and want to die.
  • " You're 17. "
  • Seventeen years too long...
  • Ohm : I feel like whenever you guys come up with horrible pranks or dares you store them in your brain so when I'm around you unlock them and force them all on me.
  • Smitty : Look the difference between Americans and Canadaians is after one night stands an American will bite their own arm off to get away and a Canadaian will probably just kill the one night stand and move away in shame.
  • Basically : THIS IS RACISM!
  • " Just because you suck at tag doesn't the game is racist! "
  • Scotty : You make fun of me for my Southern accent one more damn time I will put on overalls, a straw hat, grab a pitch fork and burn your house down all while chanting "y'all" and drinking iced tea!
PR.

Guy’s. There’s not many things in life that make me this frustrated, however this Ty/Lauren “relationship” bullshit is an exception. I found myself browsing on these ‘Tyren Updates’ accounts and actually saw the extent of how blinded people actually are by all this. One of my favourite ever comments I read was a Harmonizer calling Ty a “feminist” insisting he was an “activist to different communities” Are people for real? Like seriously, do people genuinely believe this? Do they see his online presence or listen to his lyrics? He is known throughout the music industry specifically for his misogynistic attitudes. Articles and interviewers have labelled him “arguably the most misogynistic rapper in music’. That’s NOT a title to be proud of. In fact, It’s quite disgusting. 

When I hear grown men belittling, demeaning and degrading women in the way Ty does, I always wonder how they would feel if their female family members were being spoken about in such a disrespectful manner. They’d find it incredibly inappropriate right? So what then gives these men the right to say those things about someonelse’s mother/sister/daughter etc? The answer simply is, it doesn’t. This is my issue.

Then we’ve got Lauren. You literally couldn’t get more opposite personalities if you tried. Lauren passionately campaigns for our fundamental human rights, engaging in social and political activism whenever she can. She generously donates thousands of dollars to fans with ill health and those who need it most. She’s the first to defend herself and who she is, confidently allowing fans to realise that no matter what, everything will be okay. Regardless of who we are, what we look like and who we love she teaches us to embrace what makes us ‘different’ and be proud of who we are. My problem is the negatives hit the headlines before all these incredible things she does make them. She always seems to been labelled the “bitchy” one of the group, but for what? For showing passion? For speaking out against the fucked up political state of our global society? If that makes you a bitch, sign me up. 

I know a lot of fans are struggling to see this is PR, but I’m sure this will help you out. 

I clicked on Ty’s twitter a few days ago (I know, I’m disappointed in me too) and just look at this. The accounts tweeting him aren’t just L stans, they’re Harmonizers. Whatever management are doing, its fucking working. These Harmonizers have fully jumped ship (literally lol). They’re listening, streaming and buying Ty’s new music. 

Interactions between the two are blatantly staged. When one uploads a picture, the other HAS to post some sort of proof to evidence fans that they are together. So the Lauren update accounts, and the Tyren accounts can confirm this to fans. It gets people talking and speculating. Now, by all means correct me if I’m wrong, but if you’re the private person we all know that Lauren is, there’s no way (ooops I just triggered myself back into the 7/27 era) she would be uploading videos/pictures of her and her respectful partner all over social media. It’s not real guys, wake up. 

Is it just me or has anyone noticed the 2 Tys?

So first we’ve got Ty insisting he’s against slut shaming, posting pro feminist images about the female body and telling us girls to love our insecurities (sounds familiar)

I’ll call this one the “Media Pleaser Ty”:

Then we’ve got the other version. The one who degrades women to a sex act putting undermining their worth and power

So, then I’ll call this one the “Real Ty”:

I don’t know about you guys, but this is pretty degrading isn’t it? But, isn’t this slut shaming? As fans, it’s no secret this is Lauren’s habit? Is this the image he’s reducing Lauren to?

When Ty’s album finally drops and Lauren’s collab with Steve Aoki is released (Steve has already confirmed this will be his next single, there’s just no release date as of yet), this Ty/Lauren “romance” will end. Period. Both parties will say “nothing was confirmed”, “we were just vining” or “we never dated” something along those lines.

And while all this shit is going on, we can always rely on Camila coming through, confirming EVERYTHING to us on social media.


Open your eyes, listen to the lyrics in ‘Somebody Else’ and always remember:

“Fuck that, get money, I can’t give you my soul ‘cause we’re never alone”

Enjoy.

These New Jedi Don’t Know Anything

Force Ghost Anakin: [sprawled out across Obi-Wan’s lap, half asleep, watching a blaringly-loud soap opera] Oh man, those two are so hooking up this week.
Force Ghost Obi-Wan: [sitting on Luke’s sofa, petting Anakin’s hair, wearing reading glasses and not looking up from reading a book called Betrayal: True Stories of Fallen Apprentices] Uh huh. 
Force Ghost Yoda: [floating on a nearby throw pillow, knitting] Liked the second season better, I did. 
Anakin: Yeah, it’s kind of jumped the shark, but I still have to see what happens with my OTP. 
Luke: [meditating, cracking one eye open] Guys, can you keep it down? I’m trying to commune with the Force. 
Anakin: We are the Force. 
Luke: No, dad, I mean the – [stops, looks around] 
[everyone snaps to attention] 
Obi-Wan: [removing his glasses] What was that?
Luke: [closing his eyes again] I…I think someone’s coming. A girl! 
Yoda: A new Jedi, you think?
Luke: Yeah…whoever it is, they definitely have the Force with them. 
Anakin: Well…go out there! Introduce yourself!
Luke: Should I…should I do something?
Obi-Wan: Are there any cliffs with good lighting you could stand on?
Anakin: [peering out the window] What’s the wind situation like out there?
Yoda: A robe, he needs, for drama. 
Obi-Wan: [putting one on Luke] Yes, it would never do to go out there without one…
Anakin: So what’s your plan, son?
Luke: Uh…say “hello, my name is Luke”?
[Anakin, Obi-Wan and Yoda look at each other uneasily] 
Obi-Wan: [dismayed] …”hello, my name is Luke”?
Luke: Well, I should greet her, right? I mean, what are you guys suggesting? I just put a hooded cape on and stand outside silently in the wind like a weirdo? And then, what? Dramatically un-hood myself while my hair blows around while remaining totally wordless? Heh…that…that would be…
[The Force Ghosts side-eye him]
Luke: O-OK, you guys know best. [puts his hood on] Well, wish me luck. [he goes outside to meet Rey] 
Obi-Wan: [annoyed] You see what happens when I’m not allowed to train someone until they’re an adult? Those are basic Jedi presentation skills! 
Yoda: A shame, it is. 
Anakin: [nodding solemnly] Really. I love the kid, but that is disappointing. 

♥ KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE QUOTES
feel free to adjust sentences to make it fit your muse better!

  • ❛ So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam. ❜
  • ❛ There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self. ❜
  • ❛ Manners maketh man. ❜
  • ❛ Martini. Gin, not vodka, obviously. Stirred for 10 seconds while glancing at an unopened bottle of vermouth. Thank you. ❜
  • ❛ You throw away your biggest opportunity over a fucking dog. ❜
  • ❛ You shot a dog just to get a fucking job! ❜
  • ❛ If you’re prepared to adapt and learn, you can transform. ❜
  • ❛ You’re full of surprises. ❜
  • ❛ How deep does this fucking thing go? ❜
  • ❛ Is this the part where you say some… really bad pun? ❜
  • ❛ This ain’t that kind of movie, bruv. ❜
  • ❛ Sorry, love. Gotta save the world. ❜
  • ❛ I’m awfully sorry. I seem to have my dates muddled up. ❜
  • ❛ Oh, no no no. I cancelled the gala because of you. ❜
  • ❛ Are we going to stand around here all day, or are we going to fight? ❜
  • ❛ The suit is the modern gentleman’s armour. ❜
  • ❛ At least the girl’s got balls. ❜
  • ❛ I thought that brandy tasted a bit shit. ❜
  • ❛ You dirty… little fucking prick… ❜
  • ❛ That tends to happen when you shoot someone in the head. ❜
  • ❛ I suppose asking to borrow a cup of sugar is a step too far. ❜
  • ❛ Do you know what that means? Then let me teach you a lesson. ❜
  • ❛ What did you do to me? I had no control. I killed all those people. ❜
  • ❛ To Pee or Not to Pee? ❜
  • ❛ Not everybody had thanked you for that one. ❜
  • ❛ A gentleman’s name should appear in the newspaper only three times: When he’s born, when he marries, and when he dies. ❜
  • ❛ I’m just a pleb. ❜
  • ❛ Being a gentleman is something one learns. ❜
  • ❛ Sorry about that, needed to let off a little steam. ❜
  • ❛ Looks like a lot of people are going to die. ❜
  • ❛ Do I look like I give a fuck? ❜
  • ❛ What a shame we both had to grow up. ❜
  • ❛ Sorry, sir, but why the fuck did you choose me as the gimp? Am I the expendable candidate? ❜
  • ❛ You need to take that chip off your shoulder. ❜
  • ❛ This whiskey is amazing; you will shit. ❜
  • ❛ Who the fuck are you? Where am I? ❜
  • ❛ This knife can save your life. ❜
  • ❛ Mankind is the virus, and I’m the cure. ❜
  • ❛ You’re a bloody disgrace. ❜
  • ❛ I apologise for putting you in this position. You trained him well. ❜
  • ❛ A little gratitude would be nice. ❜
  • ❛ Fuck that guy, whoever he is! ❜
  • ❛ Do I look like I give a fuck? Just get it done. ❜
  • ❛ Perfect timing. Gentleman’s just finished. ❜
fic rec friday

Sorry this is kinda long but I got a little behind. Also, updated some of the tags here 

a brighter shade of red & gold by  stayingputwouldbeablunder | 17.9K | bakery

Of all the scents Derek imagined being innately in tune with, applecinnamonoatmeal was not at the top of list. Not the kind that comes from instant packets of oatmeal with dehydrated bits of apple that only need a cup of milk and a minute and a half in the microwave to be ready. Not the floral infused candy apple scent of body mists or oatmeal soaps that Erica favors. The pure, unadulterated scent of fresh baked goods made with pureed apple, steel-cut oats, cinnamon, and just a pinch of allspice.

Stiles is the first and last person Derek has ever wanted to associate with that scent.

Jump me, bro? by  paintedrecs | 3.6K | neighbor au

Prompted myself with: “I just want a neighborhood AU where Stiles is the bro-iest bro to ever bro and Derek pines after him anyway.”

Kintsugi by  artemis69 | 7.8K | derek deserves nice things

Derek is too big, and strong, and a werewolf. He knows perfectly well what men are and aren’t allowed to be.

Stiles would beg to differ.

In which there are pretty boys, flowers, panties, glitter, and Stiles gives a heartfelt fuck you to the concept of toxic masculinity.

Lost on You by  TroubleIWant | 4.7K | western au

Stiles is the sheriff of Beacon Hills, and Derek’s an inveterate cattle hustler better known as The Outlaw Derek Hale. It’s a shame he’s so goddamn pretty, then.

No More Hiding by  fearfrost1211 | 2.5K | secret relationship

I don’t understand why you’re upset with me. What did I do?“

"It’s not…you didn’t do anything! I just…”

“What, Stiles? You just what?”

“I guess…I guess I just never expected it to…hurt.”

put ‘em together and what have you got? by  yodasyoyo | 11.1K | pining derek

“Oh, bibbidi bobbidi fuck you.”

Unsurprisingly, Stiles’ fairy godmother is a menace.

Repeat Order by  twobirdsonesong | 5.2K | writer derek

The delivery guy is cute, all long limbs and a smirking mouth as he waits for Derek. Derek stares, unblinking, for too long at the guy’s cheekbones and his mess of hair and depth of warmth in his eyes.

“Hey! You Derek Hale?” The guy chirps and his voice is not at all what Derek was expecting.

Under Yellow Moons by  skoosiepants | 17.1K | thanksgiving

The life and times of Deputy Stiles and Supernatural Foster Dad Derek Hale

Void ab initio by  Leslie_Knope | 4.6K | arranged marriage

Tumblr prompt: “We were best friends in middle school and promised (signed a contract and all) if neither of us were in a relationship when we turn 30, we’d marry each other. You moved 5 years later and I haven’t seen you since but you just reached out on my 30th birthday to find out if I’m single. Minors can’t be held to contracts but puberty hit you like a truck and I just broke up with my long term boyfriend a month ago so what the hell I might as well catch up with you.”

We Have Potential by  dragon_temeraire | 10.1K | werewolf convention

Derek has finally been invited to the annual North American Werewolf Convention. The only problem? They’re expecting him to bring a significant other. He doesn’t actually have one, but everyone volunteers Stiles for the job.

When All the Pieces Fit by  NARKOTIKA | 2.6K | gender fluid stiles

“Does he even realize? With the cooking and cleaning andandand—now this fucking baby?” Isaac fumes.

Written in the Stars by  Quixoticity | 26.5K | tattoo artist derek

Derek Hale is a lucky guy. He’s got a great family, good friends, and a fulfilling job as a tattoo artist.

He’s also one of the twenty-five per cent of the population born with a soul mark.

He likes his life, but he’s waiting for his soul-match. The odds of meeting them aren’t great but hey, Derek’s a lucky guy. He has faith.

He can’t believe how good his luck really is when one day his soul-match wanders right into his studio, all long limbs and copper eyes. There’s just one problem: Stiles is there to get his soul mark covered up. Permanently.

*** stalia warning: there is a bit of stalia in chapters 4 & 5 nothing explicit but enough to get the point across. Feel free to message me if you need more details. 

Bad Decisions [Jaehyun]

Originally posted by cherryassbomb

Genre: Angst/ Slight Smut??

Scenario: Your long term friend Jaehyun is in love with your best friend. You want nothing but the best for them but silently dealing with your break up from BTS singer Jeon Jungkook has been weighing on you. One drunken night and one bad decision leads to risks taken and mistakes made. 

Characters: Jaehyun; Reader (You); Your Friend (Y/F/N); Mark; Johnny; small mention of other members 

Word Count: 3774

Notes: This is a short little series with only about 5 parts but Admin Unnie and I will be seeing it through to the end so I hope you guys stick with us. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 5.5

           The group of four sat in Jaehyun’s room, playing a late-night game of Uno and drinking stolen beers from Taeyong’s secret fridge.

           “You sent that same fuckin meme like ten times last night in the group chat. It was only funny like the first four or five times.” Mark chuckled, taking another swig of his drink and placing a yellow 4 in the center of the circle they had formed.

           Jaehyun shook his head and laughed, “What you meant to say was that it wasn’t funny at all.”

           “Nah nah the problem is you guys just have no taste.” You shrugged nonchalantly, but a big smile tugged at the corners of your lips at the memory.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Do you have hcs for the worst injury each Batkid had? (Beside the ones that killed some of them)

(Because it’s almost too easy to hop on the angst express for this one… I’m gonna go with the “worst,” most embarrassing injuries each of the batkids has had. JUST BECAUSE.)

One of Dick’s favourite things to do in Wayne Manor (other than sliding down the bannister) was to swing on the grand chandelier in the ballroom. As a nine-year-old kid, the only risk this posed was getting a scolding from Alfred that “the lighting fixtures are not a trapeze, young sir”, and even when he did fall from it, the distance to the floor wasn’t enough to hurt him. 

When he was twenty-five, on a dare from one of his brothers, Dick decided to give it a whirl for old time’s sake… 

He forgot that he weighed at least a hundred pounds heavier than the last time he did it, and realised this too late as the chandelier came crashing down in a cacophony of shattering glass and clanging metal-work and breaking bones. It was rather miraculous that he walked away from it with only minor cuts and bruises and a sprained wrist, but remains the worst injury in his mind to this day.

Barbara grows to be very careful in her later years as Batgirl and again as Oracle, and is not exactly a natural klutz. But one of her first solo nights, she drove her motorbike off the pier at Gotham harbour and into the ocean while chasing Cobblepot’s lackeys. 

It’s kind of hard to beat dying in terms of injury… but Jason would rather talk about his death than that one time he literally shot himself in the foot. 

Let me repeat: JASON LITERALLY SHOT HIMSELF IN THE FOOT. 

That is all. 

(Bruce laughed, actually laughed, for ten minutes straight when he found out about it. Then proceeded to use the idiom every chance he could get, grinning at Jason’s scowl.)

Tim has… far too many dumb injuries to just pick one, let’s be honest. He legitimately has a folder in the cave dedicated to them, entitled: “Stupid is as stupid does.” The highlights of said folder include: that one time Tim slipped on a grape and got a concussion, the time Tim pulled his arms and legs inside his shirt to ward off the cold then tripped and fell, breaking his collar bone; the time he spilled steaming hot coffee in his lap and was in agony for a week; and the time he poked himself in the eye with his bo staff. 

Formidable in combat, useless in day-to-day life.

Although Stephanie is notorious for being a dangerous mixture of clumsy and brash, leaving her with a collection of injuries that would put Tim’s to shame… there is one injury that she will never be able to live down and will yell at you in red-faced anger if you dare bring it up…

She once tripped and headbutt a guy she was flirting with. 

Let me clarify: she headbutted his pelvis and got a nasty lump on her head. 

He wasn’t too happy about it either.  

Cassandra’s stupid injuries are usually quite intentional… running into gunfire and the like. But her high pain tolerance is actually her downfall. She once bandaged a wound up poorly, didn’t notice it was still bleeding, and fainted from blood loss while eating Tim’s mini marshmallows in the kitchen.

Alfred patched her up. She was fine, but only just survived Alfred’s long lecture.

Damian once got distracted while feeding Batcow, and the cow accidentally bit his hand trying to eat. 

It was broken. 

Batcow 1. Damian 0.

And last but not least, we have Duke. Who absolutely did not set his clothes on fire during the fifth grade school science festival while trying to demonstrate his makeshift, DIY flux capacitor. 

Even if no one else was impressed at the story, he received a silent handshake of respect from Tim, which made his humiliation it all worth it. 

What the Hell is a Stiles?

Sterek, T, 2K, Blind Date AU


Saw the prompt from this post that someone reblogged. (Take a look at the list, there are so many good ideas!)

Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and I thought I’d hate it but you’re actually… kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you’re gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this


“No,” Derek says easily, without even looking up from his book. Erica groans and flops into the chair opposite him, nearly upsetting his mug of hot chocolate.

“Seriously?” she says, bracing both elbows on the table and leaning toward him. “At least hear me out.”

“Nope.”

“He’s cute, Der! I think you’d really like him.”

“Absolutely not. You have a terrible track record with set-ups.”

Erica has the decency to wince, at least, and drop her gaze from Derek’s. “But you’re a catch, Der, and you deserve someone who can make you happy. And since you don’t want to date me—”

“You don’t want to date me, either,” he reminds her, but she just rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, whatever. But seriously. You’re great.”

“I thought I was grumpy and terrible with people?” he asks, parroting her words from after the last failed date, and she huffs.

“Please?” she wheedles, poking her lower lips out a bit. “For me. If it goes badly, I’ll never try to set you up again.”

Derek sighs. Fuck.

His facial expressions must be more transparent than he thinks because Erica’s eyes light up. “Oh my god, you’re gonna say yes.”

Derek scowls at her. “Just coffee,” he says firmly. At least that way, he can get it in a to-go cup and make a neat escape after five minutes if he needs to. “No dinner, no movie, no activities.”

“Fine,” she says quickly, digging in her jeans pocket for her phone. “You got it.”

“This is not gonna end well,” he warns her, but she just waves her hand without looking up from her phone.

“Have some faith, Der,” she says, patting him on the hand absently while she pushes her chair back and stands up. “I can’t wait to tell Stiles.”

Derek blinks, watching Erica walk away. 

“Wait, what the hell is a Stiles?” he calls after her.

Keep reading

Frost (Chapter Two)

Welcome back to the story! So glad so many people are excited for it!
More Loki feels this chapter, our poor baby is just hurting so badly ugh. Excited to hear how you all feel about him and Tony’s relationship!

If you would like to be added to the tag list please hit up my ASK BOX. I’m terrible at remembering to check messages!

ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS HERE

Enjoy :)
******************

“Anthony!”

Tony jumped when Thor’s voice boomed across the foyer, but turned with a smile as the Demi-god strode towards him, letting Mjolnir slide from his hands to the floor as he went.

“Anthony, my love.” Thor stopped just a few steps from him, then dropped to one knee and took his hand, pressing a warm kiss to his palm. “You are beautiful, tonight. Gorgeous.”

“I feel like a girl.” Tony complained and Thor smiled before standing and drawing him close.

“No, elskan mín, not a woman. ‘Tis simply different from Midgardian clothes is all.”

“I’m wearing a dress and tights.” Tony said dryly, looking down at the dark blue tunic and wrinkling his nose.

“Just a tunic and leggings.” Thor corrected. “Completely appropriate for the meal.”

“It’s cut down to my navel.” Tony argued, and then blushed when Thor’s eyes dropped to follow the neckline that did in fact travel nearly to Tony’s navel. The silky material was loose enough to see almost all of Tony’s chest, newly flawless skin looking golden against the dark blue.

“Such a cut will guarantee my eyes never leave you tonight.” Thor assured him, his big hand resting low onto Tony’s hip, thumb stroking firmly over his hipbone. “You will have the attention of everyone in the room.”

Thor reached into one of the small pockets on his cape and pulled out a long necklace, smiling into Tony’s eyes before looping it over his neck.

“There. Now you are not showing quite so much skin, if it makes you uncomfortable.” He hesitated, touching the blue stones wrapped in delicate gold on the necklace. “Do you like it? I had it made especially for you for tonight. I would hope you will wear it often.”

“Blue for your eyes. And gold?” Tony questioned and Thor nodded, looking vulnerable and unsure of himself. It was rare look on the God of Thunder and Tony touched his cheek encouragingly. “Why gold, Thor? I don’t usually go for the mob boss jewelry look.”

“The Lightning that moves between us.” Thor murmured. “When we are together. The sparks. They move as gold against your skin. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Keep reading

Drabble - Alec Lightwood

REQUEST: 2. “The way you flirt is just shameful.”

Requested by: @fangirldreamsandstuff

Y/N was on her bed, watching a movie with her childhood friend Alec Lightwood. She was thinking about how she could change their relationship. To be something more than just friends.

“Hey, Alec? There is a guy I like.. Can I try my flirting skills with you?”, she asked and smirked.

“Oh god.. okay.”, he sighs.

“Are you parents terrorists? Cause you’re the bomb!”

Alec rolled his eyes. “Really. Y/N. Really?”

“Are you a thief? Cause you stole my heart!”

“Stop it.”

“I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me instead?”

Alec groaned but still laughed hard. “The way you flirt is just shameful.”

“Are you real? .. Cause I love you.”

But this time. It wasn’t a bad Pick-Up Line. This time she meant it. And Alec did notice it. He put the laptop to the side and just looked at her.

“That wasn’t a part of your flirting skills.. am I right?”, he asked her carefully.

She took his hand and moved closer to him. “Look.. I really didn’t want you to find out this way. But it’s true. You don’t have to say it back. I just wanted you to know, alright?”

Alec was silent. Too silent. His hands were by his side and he looked like he’s deep in his thoughts. Who know what he’s thinking about? Maybe he’s analyzing the pros and cons of dating Y/N.

He looked up and then looked straight in her eyes. “.. Is your name Google? Cause you’re everything I’m searching for.”

Y/N looked at him, confused. Then she bursted out laughing. Both of them just laughed. “How can you say something like that in a situation like this?!”, she was still laughing.

“I love you too.”, he then said. “I really do.”

She smiled at him and moved closer to him. She put her hands on both sides of his cheeks. Her forehead was pressed against his. Alec’s hands moved to her hips and pulled her even closer to him. “Can we just kiss now?”, Alec whispered. Y/N nodded and pressed her lips gently on Alec’s soft lips. Their lips moved in sync and it was the most emotional, slow and tender kiss they both ever had.

But that kiss became wilder and the slow kiss was suddenly a fast kiss. Y/N pushed Alec to the bed and gave him small kisses along his jaw. As they lips met each other’s again, they heard a loud noise.

Both of them were breathing hard, as they noticed the laptop on the floor with the broken monitor. “I have a feeling that Isabelle will kill us.”

“Way to ruin the moment.”, Alec said and laughed.

rough night - KJ Apa Smut

Originally posted by riverdalecolesprouse

requested: by anon

can you do a kj x reader smut where they’re both on riverdale & are close friends & after rough sex they’re hanging out with the rest of the cast and they see hickeys/bruises/scratches (daddy kink & choking kink please)

Warning!!: unprotected,daddy kink,choking kink plus roughness but like not a lot

A/N: Sorry it sucks send me feedback 


“KJ what the fuck dude?” Cole spoke “what?” KJ turned around and was clearly confused as to why his mate had asked him that randomly “have you been to the woods lately? where you fucking attacked by a mountain lion?” Cole joked KJ went silent as my cheek heated “he’s got scratches” Lili commented “KJ take off your shirt you need some ointment on that asap” Charles chimed in “guys i’m fine” KJ finally spoke up.

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Redamancy

Pairing: Reader / Taehyung ft. Jimin

Genre: best friend!au; Fluff

Length: 2.8k words

Warnings: language

Summary: After a night out trying to forget about your boyfriend–now ex, a twist of events causes you to wake up the next morning in someone else’s bed. Not just any someone’s. Your best friend’s.

( not my gif )

You woke to the sounds of birds chirping and the sun beaming on your face. Sitting up, you stretched your arms and let out a yawn. You rubbed your eyes and wondered, What happened last night? 

Shrugging, you spread your arms and leaned back down. Turning to your side and expecting to see your bedside table, you were face to face with someone else. Only, you didn’t know who since they were turned the other way. Your eyes widened, turned the other way and held your covers up to your nose.

Wait a minute. These weren’t your covers.

This wasn’t even your room! You groaned quietly and mentally scolded yourself. What did you get yourself into now, you thought. 

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the foxes as things i heard in a concert line

neil: this morning i fucked up my foot, but its been great so far [after being asked how i was doing].

andrew: the fun part was getting to kill them and then being gifted ice cream.

aaron: honestly i don’t even know their name but i hate them.

kevin: pass me that cup, whatever is inside must be better than this conversation.

nicky: on the bed and at the table, shame is as useless as your head.

dan: guys, don’t mess with each other, mess with whomever gets in your way.

matt: and then she punched him in the face, in that moment i knew i had found my best friend.

allison: don’t touch me, i’m too hot for you [while opening an umbrella and then putting sunglasses on].

renee: be nice, i have chopsticks

BONUS

jean: funny, i could’ve sworn seeing you choke on a croissant a minute ago [after someone said they could deep throat]

jeremy: here, have a sticker. see everything’s better now.

anonymous asked:

#282 and Lance! Congrats on your followers, love! You deserve each and every one of them! -🍋

Originally posted by sensualkisses

282. “The way you flirt is shameful.”

“Please tell me you’re not wearing that” Lance scrunched up his face leaning against the doorframe of your room.

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” you asked, spinning to see him shaking his head.

“Lose the cardigan, guys love boobs” he says nodding to the sensible blue cardigan covering your dress. You opened your mouth to argue but he raised his brow and you knew he was right. You sighed and took of the cardigan, throwing it to the bed. You were left in the black tight dress and you adjusted it slightly before putting your arms out.

“Better?” you asked. Lance’s gaze roamed hotly over your body and for once in his life Lance was speechless, so he simply nodded.

He cleared his throat before walking over to you. “Now, show me how you flirt” he prompted. You appreciated his help but he was also your best friend. “I can show you how, if you don’t know” he looked down at you.

“The way you flirt is shameful. I think I could show you a thing or two Tucker” you teased, eyes twinkling.

“Doubt it” he countered, a smug smile on his face which you returned.

The silence in the room was heavy as you stared at each other for several moments. You reached out and slowly touched the curve of his bicep, biting your lip with a smirk. You watched as his pupil’s dilated, breathing becoming heavier. You moved your hand down to his abs, stroking softly. “I think you look really good tonight” your voice was low and husky.

“I mean it’s just-just a white t-” you watched as a blush coloured to his cheeks and he stumbled over his words.

You rose to your tippy toes, lips a whisper away from his. “Got ya” you grinned, before pulling away.

For the second time in his life Lance Tucker was speechless.

Tl;Dr at the bottom.

So earlier today this guy tried to short-change me. Which is, if you don’t know, means it will put my till under amount of bills I’m suppose to have.

Now I am a little bit ditzy but I’m also a hard worker and can remember a lot of stuff. So I see that I gave him his $16 in change back, the usual stuff. Well he says I didn’t give him his $10 and showed me his money.
Now the way I do money, I don’t know if everyone does this or its just me, I put the receipt down then the biggest to smallest bills. So receipt, 10, 5, 1. Well I have never in my life ever put a $1 underneath a $5.

So this guy shows me his hand of cash with a $1, $5, then another $1. I just smile at him and say, “I remember giving you a $10 and I saw you pull that $1 out of your pocket and stick the $10 inside. Have a nice day.”
I then stared at him with a big Retail™ smile until I shame him into leaving. Then I hear him grumbling about how it was unfair that I didn’t give more change.

Tl;dr so a guy tried to short-change my till and I knew he was lying, so I shame him into leaving by smiling.

Helpless

 A/N: alrighty here we go. This is the first fic where I feel like the warnings were rally nescessary. I didn’t really proof read this so I hope its alright.It really sucks because I broke my flashdrive again (becuase I have the worst luck). Please send in some asks, suggestions, messages and comments.

Title: Helpless

Rating: Mature (because I am not sure)

Pairings: Thomas Jefferson x reader, reader x abusive!boyfriend

Warnings: violence, abuse, abusive relationship, sad topics, a bit depressing, cheating (if you like squint)

Wordcount: 1935

@mehrmonga


*Jefferson’s POV*

How often do you feel absolutely helpless? I don’t mean like ‘Oh I don’t know what to do?’, I mean like completely trembling and all your emotions and mixing together so much so that you have no idea how to react, feel, or think.

That’s how I felt when I looked at Y/N and noticed she had a black eye and split lip. She looked like she had been crying when she walked into the coffee shop. When she sat down she gave me a slight smile and began rambling about how clumsy she was. I knew it was a lie. I didn’t care about her fake story. I immediately cut her off by standing up.

“Stop Y/N, just stop. Please, sweet heart,” I told her as I grabbed her hand and pulled her out into the street to hail a cab. I looked at her and noticed the tears springing to her eyes again and I sighed. I yanked her hand and pulled her into my arms. She tensed and gripped my magenta jacket before openly sobbing into my arms. I felt my own tears spring into my eyes but held back remembering that this wasn’t about how I felt. The cab pulled up to the side of the street and I gently guided her into the back seat. I followed in immediately before wrapping my arms around her again as I told the guy my address.


*Y/N’s POV*

It was really warm in the cab and safe in Thomas’s arms as I felt us begin to move. I knew he was upset by the way his arms with taught around me in a secure embrace. Ryan had yelled at me again last night and I tried to avoid the confrontation as much as possible. But when Ryan wanted to fight there was no way to could get out of it. The tears finally stop streaming down my face and let my grip on Thomas’s jacket loosen. I turned my head to the side and rested gently on his chest as I focused on taking deep breathes. I looked out the front window and smiled as I watched the tall buildings blur past. I loved New York City, it was really busy and frantic just like myself. I frowned as I couldn’t help but notice the cloudy and windy weather matched my mood.

“I hope it rains,” I heard Thomas say next to me.

“Why? Isn’t it a bit depressing when the weather is like this?,” I question my face twisting into a scowl as I gripped his jacket again and wiggle into his side pushing my face back into his chest. I felt his hand gently move and rest on the small of my back while the other arm stayed up around my shoulders.

“Water is life. Therefore, rain kind of symbolizes new birth doesn’t it? Not to mention I love thunder. I know a lot of people hate it or are scared of it but the sound is so ethereal.” He said and I glanced up to notice his eyes staring out the window. The cloudy weather didn’t allow a lot of light through but the soft almost gray light seemed to outline his profile and make his look a lot older. He turned and looked down at me. He gently took his hand from the small of my back and brought it to my cheek. I felt his thumb gently stroke where the bruise rested right under my eye. “You put ice on it last night right darling?” he asked with concern shining in his eyes and his southern drawl coming out in full force. I gently nodded and looked down with shame etched on my features. I hated worrying him.

“We’re here.” The guy said from the front. Thomas temporarily unwrapped his arms and leaned forward, pulling out his wallet before handing over the fare. He opened the door and stepped out, making sure to grab my hand and pull with slightly more force than necessary. He was always demanding. I shook as the forceful wind made me stumble slightly and shiver. Thomas look back and frowned before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around me, blocking the wind and ushering me into the apartment complex. He got to his door and still refused to let me go and opened the door one handed. Once in the apartment he ordered me to the coach and began walking to the different rooms and collecting items with purpose.

I took the time to look around the apartment. I had been here multiple times, almost as much as my own house actually. I recalled walking in here the first time and being amazed at how warm and comfy it was. I had met him at his job where he worked as a consultant for a major political firm in the city. I had been asked to make a flower delivery for my part time job. I had strolled in with the cart of flowers and began setting them out as instructed when a man, namely Thomas, had asked if you needed any help considering his next conference didn’t start for another hour. I smiled and agreed. He began talking as her worked having no problem starting and maintaining a conversation with me. Anyone else in that position might have found him pushy but I just found him funny and confident. We had agreed to meet each other for coffee after that. I had developed a great friendship with him when he started inviting me over to hang out. I had developed a high opinion of him. I expected flat sofas and modern décor with monochrome for his apartment style but I was dead wrong.

I looked around the room as I threaded my hand into the red fur pillows that were on the plush black leather coach and looked to my feet and the plush purple carpet beneath them. Almost the entire apartment was paneled in a wood and Thomas has made sure that the mantel on which the TV sat was a cobble stone. It was extremely warm and homely with pictures of Thomas’s family and friends in Virginia hanging in the wall. I had asked him about his styling choices and he had responded with the fact that he wanted it to feel like home. I leaned back into the coach letting out a little huff as my back hit the coach. I looked over the lamp on the table and smiled. I had knocked over the previous lamp one time while dancing with Thomas and he had replaced it with a loud orange skinny lamp and purple lamp shade. It was so ugly but Thomas had fawned over the lamp and told me very sternly that if I broke it he would never allow me back in his apartment.

“Go change in the bathroom. I want you to be comfortable darling.” I heard Thomas say sternly. I was snapped out of my revere and there was Thomas standing in front of me and holding out a pair of his boxers and a sweat shirt. He shook the clothes in front of me when I didn’t move. I finally grabbed them and walked into the bathroom to change. I wasn’t sure about taking off my turtle neck. I shook as I pulled it over my head and looked into the mirror only to gasp when I noticed the ring of bruises from Ryan’s hands around my neck had darkened in color. I had been so panicked at the time it didn’t even hurt. I trailed my hands down my sides and let out a sigh. Thomas would see them and get upset. I felt better here though. I felt safer. Last night after Ryan screamed and hit in his drunken state he had locked the bedroom door and I just continued to cower in the corner and eventually got up to get ice and nurse my wounds. I hadn’t even changed my clothes this morning because Ryan was still locked in the bedroom. Tears sprung to my eye but I quickly got control of them and finished changing before summoning the courage to walk out into the family room again.

“MY GOD.” Thomas shouted and I looked up from my feet and flinched at his shocked expression.


*Thomas’s POV*

“MY GOD.” I shouted in shocked at the sight before me. Y/N had changed from her turtle neck and dark bruises surrounded her throat. I notice her flinch and immediately tried to restrain the anger that was surfacing. I would fucking kill her boyfriend. When I found out she had a boyfriend before I met her I had stopped making advances despite my feelings. I remember thinking that he must have been one hell of a man because he had the best girl in New York City. Now I knew that she deserved so much better. She deserved not to be hurt like this. I motioned for her to sit down next to me. She quietly walked over and sat up straight. It broke my heart to see her this tense around me.

“Your staying here.” I said with a neutral voice trying not to get emotional and show that I was serious. Her head snapped up and her eyes met mine.

“What?” she questioned slightly shaking.

“I am not letting you go back and be hurt by him. You’re moving in to the guest room and you’re going to be happy because so help me god if I ever have to see you like this again I might commit murder.” I said my voice straining towards the end. Her eyes widened but soon they watered and her lip quivered as she shook her head in acceptance. I immediately turned to jelly from the immense relief overcoming me and grabbed her arm to pull her to me. I laid back and she came with me having her head rest on my chest.

“Only because I love you.” She whispered as I reached for the remote. I tensed for a split second before looking over at her with wide eyes. She seemed nervous but too exhausted to care as she gave me a sheepish smile and looked at me with her eyes lazily half lidded. I immediately acted on instinct and grabbed her arm hoisting her up slightly higher and firmly pressed my lips against hers. She responded and threaded her hands into my hair. We pulled back with a huff and stared at each other minute before I push her head into the juncture between my neck and shoulder. I cradled her with a arm around her waist and the other hand stroking her hair. I took a deep breath.

“Rest darling. I love you too but you are exhausted and you are going to have a hard day tomorrow too with getting your stuff and telling him.” I felt her shake and immediately gripped her tighter. “But I will be there with you baby I promise nothing will hurt you alright?” She relaxed back into my arm and gave a tiny nod into my neck.

“I won’t need to be scared if you’re there.” I heard her whisper, almost to herself. I felt a small amount of pride fill me at her words.

“I am going to put on a movie and cook some food later alright?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“It doesn’t just sound perfect. I intend to make sure it is perfect darling.”

She glanced at me with a smile on her face and I no longer felt helpless.

youtube

I don’t go into the reasons why I’ve put on weight in the video, but it’s a combination of having been on the birth control pill, my metabolism slowing down, not exercising frequently, anti-depressants that cause weight gain, and many other factors I’m sure. I eat decently healthy, but even if I didn’t that’s not really anyone else’s business but my own and faux concern over people’s health is often a thinly veiled excuse to body shame people. I’m going to be moderating the comments so please remain civil. Any body shaming will not be tolerated and removed. Let me know if you guys deal with similar issues and what you do to cope with it! Also, any suggestions for future unscripted chats are much appreciated :)

Daryl x Reader - Together we are strong (One shot)

MASTERLIST

9. seriously? you want him over me?

10. Don’t touch me

28. It just happened
——————————————————————————
Fandom: The Walking Dead
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader
Prompt taken from hyenaswritings ‘s list

English is not my first language so, sorry for eventual grammatical errors.

Set on season 7

Warning: fluff, sexual situation, Daryl’s gonna be a daddy ♥

Again, this was supposed to be a drabble, but I got carried away

Plot: (Y/n) and Daryl reunite at Hilltop. Weeks later, (Y/n) has a surprise for him


“Daryl?”
He’s here, he’s in front of me, I need to reach him so I can finally be in his arms.
That’s what I do, I start running, I need to feel him, I need to know that he’s real.
When I finally reach him, I almost trip him over.
He was crying so I start to kiss his tears away.
I place small kisses everywhere, onto his neck, on his cheeks, and finally I kiss him on the lips.
I pour all my feelings into this kiss, just like him, who doesn’t want it to end.
Eventually we need to separate: “Thank god you’re ok, I thought he did something to you”.
I really wanted to spend some time alone with my man, but there are more important issues to talk about: Negan and his Saviours.
With this on our mind, we start to walk with our group…our family, to the Hilltop’s mansion for discussing a plan to take over the Sanctuary.
————————————————————————————————–
Later that night, I decide to stay at the Hilltop with Daryl.
After Jesus lead us to our room and closed the door, I reach to Daryl and hug him again.
After a while he lean down and starts a slow kiss.
Minutes passed and his tongue parts my lips, turning the kiss into a more passionate one.
Daryl stop kissing me just to take away my shirt and then start to place little kisses on my neck.
I tug his…well… more likely Jesus’ shirt and, when we’re both naked as the day we were born, we lay down on the bed and finally became one.
—————————————————————————————————-
Daryl slump on me, I could feel his heavy breath on my neck.
After a few minutes he lay down beside me.
I lean my head on his chest while he puts his arms around my hips.
With him so close to me, the sound of his heart that’s music for my ear, I can say that there’s no place I rather be.
The silence is broken with the sound of Daryl’s raspy voice: ”Why (Y/n?)…..why that day you decide to put yourself into my same situation? You could’ve be safe”.
My mind start to wonder to that day at the Sanctuary.
—————————————————————————————————
After the line-up, me and Daryl were taken to the Sanctuary because of our “insoburdination”.
He wanted to protect Rosita; even though she and Abraham weren’t a thing anymore, she was suffering, and Negan was harassing her.
When I saw that man with half scarred face, aim with Daryl’s crossbow, at his head, I acted on instinct, I stood up to run for him but Negan grabbed me by my arm and drag me onto him, with my back on his chest: “Now, now babygirl, where the fuck are you going?”
“Don’t touch me!”
“Feisty, I like that”
He spun me around and I locked my eyes with his, anger could be read on my face
“What’s your name sweetheart?”
“Don’t call me like that! I’m not your sweetheart!”
Negan grinned: “Let me guess, are you his sweetheart?”
I looked down, what if he hurt Daryl because of me?
Apparently he didn’t really need an answer: “God fuckin’damn! An hot girl like you with that redneck?” he, then, grabbed my chin with his fingers and smiled: “Dwight! Load…what was his fuckin’ name babydoll?”
I stayed in silence and that irritates him:” SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO!” he growled
“Daryl, his name is Daryl! But please, let him go! He’s wounded! Take me instead”
That seem to interest him…he grinned again: “ you know what? I’ll fuckin’ take the both of you with me”.
After that, me and Daryl got separated I was throw in a cell and left there for days.
Probably three days has passed when that scarred face guy, who name’s Dwight come to pick me up.
I was dragged to a room, It was small but there were all the comforts: a tv, a kitchen, a bed and a bathroom. Oh God what would I do for a shower!
Suddenly Negan entered the room, and walk toward me: “Even with that grime on you, you’re fuckin’ beautiful babydoll”
“What do you want?”
“Right to the point, you’re fuckin’perfect! Alrighty, since it’s a shame to put a pretty fuckin’ flower like you on fence duty, what do you say to become one of my wives?”
I looked at him in shock: “Do you really think that, after what you do to my friends I would become one of your whore? Besides, I already have an husband, and I’ll be faithful to him until my death”
The truth is that Daryl isn’t my husband, but I consider him like one. I will never betray him like this.
He was taken aback: “seriously? You want him over me?”
I nodded.
“Very fuckin’well babydoll, you made your choice”.
I stayed on fence duty for a while, I didn’t see Daryl, probably he was in another part of the Sanctuary’s fence.
When Negan paid a second visit to Alexandria, and killed Olivia and Spencer, I snapped out so he decided to leave me there, saying that Daryl will pay for that.
That’s the reason I couldn’t believe my eyes when we found him at the Hilltop; somehow he knew that Negan asked me to became one of his wives.

—————————————————————————————————
I look into his eyes before say: “ Let’s say that I’ve already an husband, and he’s all I askin’ for”.
Daryl get up on to lean on his elbow: “Are you askin’ me to marry you?”
We both laugh:” Well, after we take care of Negan, we will have a lot of free time, so why don’t spend it making a family on our own?”
Daryl smiles and kiss me on my nose: “That’s a good idea sunshine”.
—————————————————————————————————
We spent weeks planning what to do against Negan, and during this time I didn’t feel so well, moreover I was late on my period so, since there’s a doctor here at the Hilltop I decided to let him check me up.
“Ok, (Y/n) after what you say to me, I think that there is a possibility of a pregnancy, I can give you a pregnancy test, just to be 100% sure”.
“Yes please” I was shaking, I can’t be pregnant, now it’s not the time.
“Here you go, you can use the bathroom over there”.
—————————————————————————————————
Here I am, 5 minutes later, with a positive pregnancy test in my hands.
How could I grow a child now? What if Negan defeat us? What he will do to us? What he will do to me and my baby?
Oh God, how I’m gonna tell Daryl? After our decision to wait to have a family, how can I tell him that he’ll be a father now?.
My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door: “(Y/n), Daryl is looking for you, saying there’s a meeting now, I didn’t tell him you’re here but you should go.”
I sigh and go out, it’s time to face the real problem.
—————————————————————————————————
“So, we all agree with this plan but the problem it’s still the same: the Saviours outnumber us, we need more people to fight by our side” Rick say.
In that moment I had an idea:” During the time spent at the Sanctuary, I listen some Saviours talk about a place called “the Kingdom”. Apparently, they trade with them, but they’re not on good terms, maybe they can help us”.
Everybody looked at me with smile on their faces.
Rick put an hand on my shoulder:” (Y/n), you’re a genius!”
Before I could answer, I started to feel sick, I had to throw up, so I sprint out on the hallway and run for the bathroom where finally I could puke.
I stay there for a few minutes, until I hear the bathroom’s door open, revealing my beloved redneck:”(Y/n) are you ok? It’s something wrong?”.
Seeing worry into his eyes, I couldn’t help but crying: “ Daryl…I’m pregnant”.

He didn’t know what to say:” Pregnant? How?”

I sigh: “It just happened, we weren’t careful enough”.
Daryl drag me to him and envelope me into an hug: “Oh Daryl, what we will do? We need every man we can to fight Negan, I can’t stay here doing nothing! However, I don’t want to get rid of it, he’s my baby…our baby”
I sobbed into his chest for a while, until he lift me, taking my chin to look at him.
He’s smiling! Daryl Dixon is smiling at me!
“Don’t worry sunshine, we’ll go through this together”, then he peck me on my lips.
“So … I’m gonna be a dad?”
I nodded:” Yes, you gonna be a dad”.
He lift me up and spin me around: “Then let’s go tell to our family”.