you guys are killing me with cuteness

Dating Mark

(It was requested, this time with Mark. I hope you like it)

What would a relationship with Mark Tuan look like…


The cute side:

Originally posted by peachyy-tuan

  • It would be that type of boyfriend, super affectionate and cute.
  • You would be a reserved couple in public (moon face).
  • He would always ask to spend the day with you
  • He would do everything possible to make your family like him (not too difficult).



Phrases he would say:

  • “You’re so cute! No more than me!”
  • “I know how to make you laugh only with my laughter!”
  • “I hope you’re ready to have a family: I + you + a dog”
  • “Pizza is life, so you’re my pizza”.



The sexy side:

Originally posted by etherealjackson

  • That guy who goes from water to wine.
  • Baby face, until he decides to show more.
  • Shy just outside the house.
  • The kind of guy who doesn’t need to show more of the body, just the look and the smile to kill anyone.




Phrases he would say:

  • “Baby, I don’t think you should wear these clothes when we’re not alone.”
  • “You know very well that it’s not just martial arts that I know how to do well …”
  • “I’ll start to say more things in English … I know this makes the flames on you”
  • “I want to wake up every day by your side”


Originally posted by ceohan

(That’s it! I hope you enjoyed) 😚

Drabble Challenge!

Repost this. Followers/Readers send numbers to your Ask. You write a fic/drabble using that line in your piece. Have fun! Expect a ton of requests!! 

  1. “That’s starting to get annoying”
  2. “Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”
  3. “You can’t just sit there all day.”
  4. “I’m too sober for this.”
  5. “I’m not here to make friends.”
  6. “I need a place to stay.”
  7. “Well, that’s tragic.”
  8. “You’re seriously like a man-child.”
  9. “You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”
  10. “The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”
  11. “Dear Diary, …”
  12. “She’s hiding behind the sofa.”
  13. “I lost our baby.”
  14. “They’re so cute when they’re asleep.”
  15. “I’d kill for a coffee…literally.”
  16. “You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”
  17. “Good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion.”
  18. “What’s the matter, sweetie?”
  19. “You’re Satan.”
  20. “I don’t want to hear your excuse. You can’t just give me wet-willies.”
  21. “I’m bulletproof…but please, don’t shoot me.”
  22. “Did you just hiss at me?”
  23. “Do you really need all that candy?”
  24. “It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”
  25. “I swear, I’m not crazy!!!”
  26. “The diamond in your engagement ring is fake.”
  27. “No. Regrets.”
  28. “How drunk was I?”
  29. “How is my wife more badass than me?”
  30. “Be you. No one else can.”
  31. “I haven’t slept in ages.”
  32. “I locked the keys in the car.”
  33. “Are you sure that’s the decision you want to make?”
  34. “You work for me. You are my slave.”
  35. “Take your medicine.”
  36. “They’re monsters.”
  37. “Welcome to fatherhood.”
  38. “Why can’t you appreciate my sense of humor?”
  39. “It’s your turn to make dinner.”
  40. “The kids, they ambushed me.”
  41. “Sorry isn’t going to help when I kick your ass!!!”
  42. “Stop being so cute.”
  43. “I feel like I can’t breathe.”
  44. “You need to see a doctor.”
  45. “You’re getting a vasectomy. That’s final.”
  46. “I was a joke, baby. I swear.”
  47. “Dogs don’t wear clothes!”
  48. “I didn’t think you could get any less romantic…”
  49. “Safety first. What are you? FIVE?”
  50. “This is girl talk, so leave.”
  51. “Where am I going? Crazy. Wanna come?”
  52. “There’s a herd of them!”
  53. “Do you think I’m scared of a woman?”
  54. “They’re not your kids, back the f*ck off.”
  55. “You’re a nerd.”
  56. “I’m late.”
  57. “Just get home as soon as possible, okay?!”
  58. “You smell like a wet dog.”
  59. “I could punch you right now.”
  60. “Are you going to talk to me?”
  61. “Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”
  62. “If you can’t sleep…we could have sex?”
  63. “Flea markets don’t carry fleas, you know?”
  64. “Here, take my blanket.”
  65. “I don’t want you to stop.”
  66. “How could I ever forget about you?”
  67. “You’re bleeding all over my carpet.”
  68. “Run for it!”
  69. “We need to talk.”
  70. “Not everyone is out to get you. Stop thinking that. It’s annoying.”
  71. “I want a pet.”
  72. “Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now.”
  73. “I’m not wearing a dress.”
  74. “I’m not wearing a tie.”
  75. “Quit beating me up!”
  76. “Please put your penis away.”
  77. “It’s a Texas thing.”
  78. “Don’t argue. Just do it.”
  79. “I hope I’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”
  80. “Does he know about the baby?”
  81. “Hold still.”
  82. “I just ironed these pants!”
  83. “Enough with the sass!”
  84. “Show me what’s behind your back.”
  85. “I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor.”
  86. “Fine, don’t say anything and make me worry.”
  87. “Stay awake.”
  88. “STOP INTERRUPTING ME!”
  89. “You’re not interested, are you?”
  90. “I’m not buying ikea furniture again.”
  91. “Tell me you need me.”
  92. “Oh honey, I’d never be jealous of you.”
  93. “I’m telling you. I’m haunted.”
  94. “I had a bad dream again.”
  95. “Have I mentioned, I fucking hate Halloween.”
  96. “It’s Christmas, don’t be mad at me.”
  97. “You’re not going to starve yourself on Thanksgiving.”
  98. “The store ran out of Easter eggs.”
  99. “How could you forget your son’s birthday?”
  100. “You can only suffer through my whining for so long until you get up and make me a sandwich.”

Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!!

Being Tony Stark’s Daughter and Dating Peter Parker would include:

Author’s Note: I really love these headcannon lists so I decided to try them out, hope you enjoy <3

Warning(s): swearing and Deadpool tbh


Being Tony Stark’s Daughter and Dating Peter Parker would include:

• LMAO LORDY HERE WE GO


•meeting him by chance at Starbucks.
-they’d call out ‘Stark’ to come pick up your drink and Peter would freak out.



•he’d try and talk to you about the ‘stark internship’ and you’d be like 'tf are you?’
-“Hi I’m P-Parker Pete, I mean Peter Parker”
-“okay do you want like an autograph or something???”


•he’d be like stumbling over his words and you’d think he was cute so you’d sign his arm with your number and he’d freak out.


•he wouldn’t know whether or not to call you or how to talk to you so he just wouldn’t.
-Ned yelling at him bc Peter is stupid.


•and you’d be upset that this Parker Pete dude didn’t call you back and Tony would try to cheer you up.


•you’d be a huge Spider-Man fan


•like high-key Spidey fan


•and for some reason Tony forgot to tell you that he knew Spiderman.


•so you’d flip shit when Tony would come into the compound with an unmasked Spiderman.
-“you?? Know?? SPIDEY?? And you??? Didn’t??? Tell me???”
-“(Y/N) please, I’m old and highly susceptible to heart attacks”


•then you’d flip shit on Peter for not calling you.
-“and you Parker Pete! You didn’t call me??”


•completely ignoring the fact that Peter is spiderman.


•dropping by during training sessions.


•distracting Peter.


•getting sent out bc you’re too distracting.


•convincing Tony to let you go public school so you can 'monitor’ Peter’s progress.


•Peter showing off your friendship to everyone.


•picking up Ned and Peter in one of Tony’s flashy cars just to prove Flash wrong.


•sticking up for Peter 99.9% of the time.


•Peter being grateful for having you as a friend.


friend :’)


•you end up crushing on Peter haaaard
-it being painfully obvious to everyone but Peter
-Ned teasing you for it until the end of time.


•he asks you out at one of Liz’s parties during 7 minutes of heaven.
-“so- *kiss*-I was thinking- *kiss*-maybe later we could- *kiss*
-“yes Peter I’ll go out with you”


•keeping it a secret from Tony bc he thinks dating will interfere with Peter being Spiderman.


•dating for like a year behind Tony’s back.


•the avengers finding out bc Wanda accidentally reads your thoughts one day :)
-“you made out with Peter?”
-“WHo toLd yOu ThAt?”


•overprotective mother!Steve Rogers.

•dates swinging above the New York skyline.

•cute nicknames

•angel

•baby

•dARLInG


•Peter sneaking into your room when he gets hurt.


•making up crazy excuses when Tony almost barges into your room.
-“IM ON MY PERIOD! BLOOD! BLOOD EVERYWHERE!”
-“I’m too old for this”


•Tony inviting Peter to team dinners.
-holding hands under the table.
-blowing kisses when Tony isn’t looking.


•makeout sessions on the roofs of sky scrapers.


•attempting to do the Spider-Man kiss.
-“Peter I think we’re doing this wrong”
-“No I got this” *web snaps* “AHhH”


“Y/N NO”
“Y/N YES”

•Ned being disturbed by your PDA.


•kisses by the lockers.


•flash flirting with you


•jealous!Peter

•he’d like clench his jaw and glare and you’d find that really hot tbh.

•but then flash would say some dumb shit like “how’d penis Parker get a hot babe like you?”

•you almost breaking Flash’s arm

•Peter cheering you on.

Slapping Peter’s ass at school when no ones looking


•Peter blushing all the time bc it happens on a daily basis


•Getting angry at your dad when he takes away Peter’s suit.
-“Y/N talk to me”
-“Not until you give Peter back his suit”
-“he doesn’t deserve it”
-“he deserves everything in the world and so much more than you. He tried to help you, but you didn’t listen!”

•Tony being hurt bc you’ve never fought with him before.

•him wondering why you’re defending Peter.

•it finally clicking that you’re dating Peter.

•Tony being mad at you for keeping it a secret.

•Peter not wanting to come between you and your dad’s close relationship

•coming to Peter’s defence when Tony tries to 'kill’ him.
-“dad no! I love him”
-“you love me?”

-“ew this is so sweet I can feel the diabetes already”



•PDA around the avengers tower after that
-“The 'making out’ is disturbing me”

-“Same, Thor, same”



•cuddles
-“you’re really soft”
-*you booping peters nose* “yeah well you’re really cute”

•dad jokes.

-“Peter! Peter! What time did the man go to the dentist?!’’

-”(Y/N) go away"

-“Tooth hurt-y! get it?”


•study dates
-turning into makeout sessions
-resulting in you guys being supervised by vision


•you trying on the suit
-almost suffocating
-accidentally swinging out into the streets of New York
-you going to hospital
-lectures from Tony.


•getting the talk from Wade
-crying afterwards bc Wade is weird.
-Tony trying to kill Wade

“PETER NO”
“PETER YES”


•passing notes in class


•staring at each other in class

•detentions together
-resulting in you making out in the back.
-resulting in you guys getting kicked out of detention
-never getting detention from other teachers bc they are disturbed by teen romance

•girl talks with Michelle and Liz
-Ned and Peter trying to spy on you guys
-Ned and Peter treating it like a secret mission and having code names.
-“Nedstar 101, I have visual on the birds”
-“copy that Peterpiper”
-“you know we can see you guys right”
-“abort mission! abort mission! We’ve been compromised!”

•getting mad when Peter doesn’t ask you to homecoming.
-him being really confused bc he thought he didn’t have to ask since you guys were dating.


•Peter getting the silent treatment.
-“BaBbBeeee”
-“PlEASe talk to mEee”

•Asking Ned for help
-failing miserably and making you even more mad.

•going to Tony for help
-also failing miserably.
-“she’s your daughter??? How did this go so wrong???”
-“I don’t know!? I’m a failure!?”

•Peter sitting outside your bedroom door for like 2 hours.
-forgiving him when you come home to find him sleeping there.

•tickle fights
-Peter accidentally kicking you in the face.
-going to the hospital again.
-getting lectures from Tony and Steve.

•cooking with Aunt May

•May loves you

•girl talks with May
-Peter trying to spy on these.

•going to Thai restaurants with May and Peter
-sometimes Tony would come
-things would get weird
-Thai food puns

•May and Peter coming to spend family holidays with you and the avengers.
-Tony being weird with Aunt May
-reJectIoOoN

•forehead kisses

•Peter bringing you lunch bc you always forget to eat.

•Peter crying over the titanic
-“Pete are you crying?”
-“No this is liquid pride”

•Movie nights with the Avengers
-Tony and Peter crying and laughing over the same scenes
-you and the avengers being weirded out.

•Peter braiding your hair

•Playing with Peter’s hair
-it helps him fall asleep or calm down from stress.

•falling asleep on one another
-the avengers taking photos of you guys
-someone knocking something over effectively waking you up.
-proceed to you screaming at the avengers for like 5 minutes.


•naps together


•you being the big spoon
-Peter never admiting that to anyone.
-you telling everyone.

•late night calls
-effectively running up Tony’s phone bill.
-“Y/N WHY IS YOUR CELL PHONE BILL OVER ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS?!?!”
-“I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS A PROBLEM I MEAN WE’RE BILLIONAIRES”


•Tony showing off you and Peter’s relationship
-cos he’s a proud dad
-uncle!Tony loves his spiderling.


•You making Peter the happiest he’s ever been and vice Versa.


“I love you”
“Meh you’re alright Pete”


8

“Okay, honestly– okay fam, I wanted to thank you guys so much for like, supporting me today! I checked my hashtag and I honestly didnt expect so many.. support. Like, okay, lets be real. Im not the most liked one in the group (22/7). Im not very popular in the japanese fandom because im not like, you know, im not– you know small and not really petite.And Im not saying im cute either– Im not the visual! Of the group! Im not the Jimin in BTS– Like, I am some animal. literally like a sewer rat. Leaving that aside. I was just really happy cause like sometimes I get really discouraged looking at comments being like ‘oh, sally’s not very pretty I dont know why shes in the group if shes half english she shouldnt be in this group’ It kinda discourages me but I didnt think that I would get this much support from over seas fans and it honestly means the world to me.”

Important meet-cutes in Dragon Age canon:

Dorian: “Ah you’re finally here! Good, you can help me kill these demons.”

Anders: Channels a spirit with glowing eyes to threaten you before even saying hello

Sera: Tells a stupid joke then kills a guy right in front of you

Fenris: tricks you into fighting a dozen slavers then rips a mans heart out of his chest right in front of you

Cassandra: Imprisons and interrogates you for causing the actual apocalypse

Zevran: Tries to literally assassinate you

Voltron Quotes Inspired by Shit My Friends Have Said

Lance: I’m garbage but like ~Gucci~ garbage. Like I’m dead and disgusting inside, but I’m still beautiful as fuck. Try me bitch, I can and will steal your man.

Hunk: I’m sad so I’m eating my feelings, but eating so much makes me more sad which just causes me to eat more DO YOU SEE MY DILEMMA?!

Allura: I’m growing out my hair in hopes that one day I can use it to strangle my enemies

Keith: Do you think anyone has ever tried to fuck a knife? Hey don’t give me that look just hear me out!!

Shiro: Stop calling me the dad of the group! I just want the sweet release of death, I can’t take care of you children!! I mean it, stop-alright yeah okay, I’m the dad. Sure whatever. Daddy needs a drink.

Pidge: You know what I wanna hear? Stephen Hawking talking dirty. What?! Technology is sexy, don’t kink shame me!

Coran: Have you ever been attracted to facial hair? Like sure that guy is cute, but his beard? …damn.

*Bonus*

Slav: There’s a 47% probability that I’m pissing you off.

Zarkon: Oh god I hate them. Well, I don’t really hate them. I just want their cat. Do you think they’ll be pissed if I just stole it?

Lotor: If my hair gets messed up, I’m killing all of you and taking over the world. I spent three hours getting ready, and I will not hesitate to stab a bitch if they come too close.

3

“See? I told you he’d come when he saw us talking” she said, grinning like he had any idea of whatever her stupid plan was. “Dipper, this is Wirt, Wirt, this is a guy who finds you very nice to look at”

By this point every circuit in Dipper’s head had long since fried, and he only offered a hand to shake after Wendy subtly -but painfully- pinched his shoulder.

“Uh… Hello?” The guy -Wirt, he reminded himself- smiled. Why was his smile so lopsided and shy and cute? What the fuck. “Mind if I call you Dipper? The other name is a bit too long” he asked.

“You can call me whatever you like. I MEAN YES” What was wrong with his brain today? Was this guy actually supernatural and killing his neurones or something? “Yes, Dipper is my real name. Not that the other thing isn’t real of course, but it would be weird to call me that and- uh… Yes. Dipper”

A scene from the really cute pinescone fic @that-one-girl-behind-you​ wrote for me. You all should go and read it.

Unicorn hair and bad relationship advice.

Context: I was conning into a game after a party had been established. It was an evil party, so these weren’t the most polite sort, and I was the only cleric, being introduced. The party was a Minotaur sorcerer, tiefling warlock, human fighter, a Goliath paladin and human bard

Me- Wow. You guys are the party I’m with? Bessie, nut job, butch-zilla, gingerbread and a pretty boy.

Minotaur - Cute. What little nickname do we call you? *clearly being sarcastic*

Me- Considering you have no cleric but me, my name if you want to live long.

2

Pre Kerkeros fluff because you all deserve it after the stunt I pulled yesterday 

Tbf that was psy’s fault so…don’t kill me, haha

Look at how happy and cute they were before Kerberos… poor babs *hugs them*

Hope you guys enjoy~!

listen guys no matter how much fun it is to imagine the dcu having tumblr just so your faves would have cute blogs and interact, you realize it’d be exactly the same hellsite it is now like

“supervillains killed my family”

“yeah but not ALL supervillains are like that bro that’s a massive generalization”

and

“m*tahuman is a slur!!!” 

this is what it would be like

NCT as things I have heard my friends say

I’m doing this because my friends bet me this would get more than 100 notes within 5 days because she is certain my friends say the stupidest shit ever she 100% right but thats not something I’ll ever tell her

Taeil: *recording video* “I love my friends so much” *Camera turns off* “Fuck you bitches with a million glitter pens”

Hansol: “Whoever says anything stupid will get sent to the kinky dungeon”

Johnny: “Yes the weather up here is nice. Do you know what would be nicer? A little fucking respect around here”

Taeyong: “I may be young but ain’t stopping me from dancing to EXO as sexy as I like”

Yuta: “God they are so hot, it’s a shame that I’m straight!”

Kun: “Of course I killed him the guy forgot about me, like how can anyone forget this handsome face”

Doyoung: “I may look sweet and angelic but under my skin is a hell fire waiting to burn you all”

Ten: “A different dick a day keeps the churches away”

Jaehyun: “My flirting skills are the only thing I have going for but at least there that”

WinWin: “Pro-tip for life, your cute is your greatest weapon use it to manipulate and demolish your friends and enemies”

Mark: “I worked my ass off for what, a lousy dirty muffin”

Renjun: “So what if I like cartoons? They make me happier than you losers I call friends”

Jeno: “I would kill you if I wasn’t so goddamn attracted to you, maybe we should just divorce” 

Haechan: “Do you have time to talk about our lord, saviour and greatest ass of the century, me you fuck trees”

Jaemin: “A friend of mine once said “I would kill you if I wasn’t so goddamn attracted to you, maybe we should just divorce” we’re still together though and now we have a child”

Chenle: “I shall sacrifice the taller guy to satan for a cute ass puppy anyday”

Jisung: “I got scared of my shadow and jumped out my bedroom window out of habit”

I am increasingly concerned for my friends, some of these work well others don’t.

Originally posted by dovounq

German movies Part 1

Hey guys! I noticed how many people on this website are learning German or want to learn it. It is my mother tongue and I love German cinema. We all know that movies help to improve language skills, so I made a list about my favorite German films and some must-sees! I hope you enjoy these films!

  • Keinohrhasen (the main actor is problematic IRL and also in this movie but I still like it, a journalist has to work in a day care center because he fucked up Vladimir Klitschko’s party, he meets the girl he used to bully when he was a teenager and then they fall in love… this movie is so typical for that director lmao)
  • Zweiohrküken (the same characters as in Keinohrhasen, they move in together and it’s a mess, also the guy’s ex affair wants him back and the woman’s ex boyfriend - whose dick she describes as the eiffel tower - is back in the city and wants to be with her again, drama drama drama, cute, typical German rom-com)
  • Anatomie (very bloody! about a girl who wants to become a doctor, creepy things happen at her summer med school)
  • Die wilden Hühner (a kids’ movie based on famous books, a cute girl gang wants to save a few chicken from a member’s granny who wants to kill and freeze them, very cute film)
  • (T)raumschiff surprise (gay people in space, ICONIC)
  • Fack ju Göhte (supposed to mean Fuck you Goehte, a criminal pretends to be a teacher, great comedy, sexy main actor, CHANTAL CRY LESS NOISY!)
  • Good bye, Lenin (iconic movie, a woman was in coma for 8 months and her son makes her believe the GDR still exists, awesome soundtrack, great story, cute couple, very moving)
  • Die Welle (a teacher makes a social experiment about fascism with his class and it goes wrong!! a must-see!)
  • Pünktchen und Anton (adaption of a famous novel, cute movie for children but I’m in my twenties and I still love it, a rich girl and a poor boy become friends)
  • Die dunkle Seite des Mondes (don’t take drugs guys, just don’t! this movie will show you why! the main character goes crazy - but is it just because he took drugs? find out!!)
  • Jeune Homme ((Swiss)German and French film about a guy who makes an au pair year, gets laid by the neighbour lady and falls in love with the host parents’ oldest daughter)
  • 7 Zwerge - Männer allein im Wald (it’s like Snow White and the 7 dwarfs but very trashy, the dwarfs are big, the prince has a wild hair style and Snow White loves playing with her barbie. Ah, and the evil queen’s outfits are iconic and weird)
  • Die wilden Kerle (a kids’ movie about boys who play soccer - we all love it! EVERYTHING’S ALRIGHT AS LONG AS YOU’RE WILD! BE WILD - DANGEROUS AND WILD!)
  • Sommer (teen movie about the first love, takes place on an island, skater boy meets rich boy and they both love the same girl, teenage drama, i don’t wanna spoil but some people almost die and sth burns down)
  • Das Missenmassaker (12 girls who want to be Miss Switzerland, bitch fights 24/7 and a lot of blood because a lot of people get killed)
  • For No Eyes Only (Rear Window for teenagers, a very interesting thriller, cute main characters)
  • Homevideo (a guy films himself while masturbating, someone finds the video and then the drama starts, his family also falls apart)
  • Grosse Mädchen weinen nicht (two teenage girls, lots of feelings, sex, dangerous things)
  • Lola rennt (reminds me of The Butterfly Effect, iconic film, i don’t even wanna say more about it just watch it)
  • Who am I - Kein System ist sicher (movies about hackers with big plans and sometimes you have no idea if what you see is what is real)
  • Das Leben der Anderen (must see! fucking sad tho)
  • Cannabis (a member of the Swiss federal council who is against the legalization of weed has to consume weed because he has a problem with his eye and this helps - ofc his life changes and gets wild)
  • Die Herbstzeitlosen (4 old Swiss woman open a lingerie shop in a lil village and people freak out)
  • Grounding - Die letzten Tage der Swissair (the story behind the grounding of Swissair, the national airline of Swizzy)
  • Das Experiment (based on a true story, some people engage in a prison experiment - some are good people, others are bad people and ofc it escalates quickly)

Prompt List

Okay so this is not my drabble list but i found it on tumblr so all credit goes out to the person who made this. send me in any numbers and who you would like it to be about (example peter parker, castiel, bucky barnes, etc…)

leave the number and person/character in my ask and I’d be happy to write it!!

1. “That’s starting to get annoying”
2. “Hey, hey, calm down. They can’t hurt you anymore.”
3. ‘You can’t just sit there all day.”
4. “I’m too sober for this.”
5. “I’m not here to make friends.”
6. “I need a place to stay.”
7. “Well, that’s tragic.”
8. “You’re seriously like a man-child.”
9. “You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”
10. “The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids.”
11. Dear Diary, …”
12. She’s hiding behind the sofa.”
13. “I lost our baby.”
14. “They’re so cute when they’re asleep.”
15. “I’d kill for a coffee…literally.”
16. “You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”
17. “Good thing I didn’t ask for your opinion.”
“18. What’s the matter, sweetie?”
19. “You’re Satan.”
20. “I don’t want to hear your excuse. You can’t just give me wet-willies.”
21. “I’m bulletproof…but please, don’t shoot me.”
22. “Did you just hiss at me?”
23. “Do you really need all that candy?”
24. “It’s six o’clock in the morning, you’re not having vodka.”
25. “I swear, I’m not crazy!!!”
26. “The diamond in your engagement ring is fake.”
27. “No. Regrets.”
28. “How drunk was I?”
29. “How is my wife more badass than me?”
30. “Be you. No one else can.”
31. “I haven’t slept in ages.”
32. “I locked the keys in the car.”
33. “Are you sure that’s the decision you want to make?”
34. “You work for me. You are my slave.”
35. “Take your medicine.”
36. “They’re monsters.”
37. “Welcome to fatherhood.”
38. “Why can’t you appreciate my sense of humor?”
39. “It’s your turn to make dinner.”
40. “The kids, they ambushed me.”
41. “Sorry isn’t going to help when I kick your ass!!!”
42. “Stop being so cute.”
43. “I feel like I can’t breathe.”
44. “You need to see a doctor.”
45. “You’re getting a vasectomy. That’s final.”
46. “I was a joke, baby. I swear.”
47. “Dogs don’t wear clothes!”
48. “I didn’t think you could get any less romantic…”
49. “Safety first. What are you? FIVE?”
50. “This is girl talk, so leave.”
51. “Where am I going? Crazy. Wanna come?”
52. “There’s a herd of them!”
53. “Do you think I’m scared of a woman?”
54. “They’re not your kids, back the f*ck off.”
55. “You’re a nerd.”
56. “I’m late.”
57. “Just get home as soon as possible, okay?!”
58. “You smell like a wet dog.”
59. “I could punch you right now.”
60. “Are you going to talk to me?”
61. “Welcome back. Now fucking help me.”
62. “If you can’t sleep…we could have sex?”
63. “Flea markets don’t carry fleas, you know?”
64. “Here, take my blanket.”
65. “I don’t want you to stop.”
66. “How could I ever forget about you?”
67. “You’re bleeding all over my carpet.”
68. “Run for it!”
69. “We need to talk.”
70. “Not everyone is out to get you. Stop thinking that. It’s annoying.”
71. “I want a pet.”
72. “Just smile, I really need to see you smile right now.”
73. “I’m not wearing a dress.”
74. “I’m not wearing a tie.”
75. “Quit beating me up!”
76. “Please put your penis away.”
77. “It’s a Texas thing.”
78. “Don’t argue. Just do it.”
79. “I hope I’m never stuck with you on a deserted island.”
80. “Does he know about the baby?”
81. “Hold still.”
82. “I just ironed these pants!”
83. “Enough with the sass!”
84. “Show me what’s behind your back.”
85. “I’m not going to be sympathetic until you go to a doctor.”
86. “Fine, don’t say anything and make me worry.”
87. “Stay awake.”
88. “STOP INTERRUPTING ME!”
89. “You’re not interested, are you?”
90. “I’m not buying ikea furniture again.”
91. “Tell me you need me.”
92. “Oh honey, I’d never be jealous of you.”
93. “I’m telling you. I’m haunted.”
94. “I had a bad dream again.”
95. “Have I mentioned, I fucking hate Halloween.”
96. “It’s Christmas, don’t be mad at me.”
97. “You’re not going to starve yourself on Thanksgiving.”
98. “The store ran out of Easter eggs.”
99. “How could you forget your son’s birthday?”
100. “You can only suffer through my whining for so long until you get up and make me a sandwich.”

How To Get A Guy To Like You

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary:Sometimes, internet can be helpful with love problems.
Warnings: Swearing
Word Count: 2.441
A/N: Thank you so much for the notes on the imagine before this one, people! They make me so happy, and I hope you’ll like it too! Friendly reminder, I absolutely love feedback! :) 
Gif’s not mine!

Growing up as a hunter sure had its disadvantages. Aside from the constant danger, being overall socially awkward due to not having time to get to know people, and always having to be on alert, you also made your peace with having to accept you didn’t know everything, especially when it came to humans, but you knew that you had to look for help when you needed it.

“Sam, I need help.”

Sam’s head shot up and he put the book down, sitting up straight almost immediately, “Sure. Are you in trouble?”

You cleared your throat as you sat down across him, and his eyes searched yours,

“Is this about Lucifer?”

“No-“

“Angels?”

“No-“

“Is it-“

“How do I get a guy to like me?”

Keep reading

  • McQueen’s crash was really fucking brutal like god damn they did such a good job with that scene like I know everyone is all “oh haha he dies” but sitting in the theater watching it happen you just feel paralyzed because holy shit. Anyways, major kudos to Pixar for making that probably my favorite scene in the whole movie because of the beautiful cinematography.
  • Jackson Storm!!! I thought I was gonna hate him, and I did he is a grade A jackass, but just oh man he’s just so fucking cool and sleek and the black and blue coloring is sooo good. Yes I hate him but also I love him. 
  • The colors of all the new gen racers were so great!! They were all so sleek and shiny and cool looking and colorful!
  • At first I didn’t really like Cruz, she kinda bugged me in the overly happy kind of way, but that didn’t remain the case because OH MY GOD I’M SO PROUD OF MY DAUGHTER!!!
  • McQueen doing the warm up exercises to get Cruz to come with him was so great. McQueen is A+ dad material.
  • McQueen mentoring Cruz on the beach without even realizing he’s mentoring her gave me life. 
  • The entire demolition derby. 
  • I was honestly expecting the school bus to be a guy so I was absolutely ecstatic that it ended up being a girl!! Anyways, I love Miss Fritter she’s fantastic and amazing and so badass.
  • Fritter trying to straight up kill McQueen and then later while being interviewed being all exited and saying how she’s always liked McQueen was so cute.
  • “Racing wasn’t the best part of Doc’s life, you were.” 
  • I can’t believe Doc Hudson is a gay icon.
  • I make a post about a week ago predicting that Cruz would race in McQueen’s place AND I WAS RIGHT, I WAS RIGHT, I WAS RIGHT!!!
  • McQueen up on the platform with the headset on coaching Cruz almost broke me I was flipping the fuck out oh my god he was the splitting image of Doc it was amazing.
  • Cruz doing the wall flip trick. I had a fucking conniption fit it was so good it was perfect it was, although a bit predicable, absolutely astounding. 
  • Cruz took Doc’s number. So good. What a way to bring it full circle. 
Lost

Pairings: Steve x f!Reader

Request:

A Captain America x Reader one where the Avengers go camping and they get lost?


Pietro has created a chatroom.

Pietro has added Y/N, Thor, Bucky, Natasha, Tony, Bruce.

Pietro: Y/N. Whyyyyyyyyyy, whyyyyyyy did your boyfriend decide camping would be a good idea?!

Natasha: It was actually mine, Thor and Bucky’s idea.

Pietro: Whyyyyyyy Nat?! WHYYYYYYY BARNES?! THOR I TRUSTED YOU.

Bruce: No one forced you to come, Pietro. So stop complaining.

Tony: Actually I forced him to come because I know how much he hates camping.

Pietro: Are you telling me the rest of you actually accepted to camping of your own free will?! Whyyyyyyy Tony?

Tony: I knew his suffering would be entertaining.

Natasha: Damn, Stark. I never knew you had it in you.

Tony: Gotta make up for the lack of tech somehow.

Y/N: Pietro, you’ll enjoy this trip. Trust me. It’s going to be a lot of fun!

Pietro: We have been walking for hours and we still haven’t reached the campsite yet.

Thor: We have seen an abundance of cute animals, there is much deserved fresh air after many days spent on the jet after Clint consumed bad tacos, we are getting exercise in this trek - my pecs look impeccable, and we are in good company!

Pietro: 1. The only good thing out of this is the animals. 2. This isn’t my type of exercise ;) 3. Tony basically kidnapped me. He is not good company.

Bucky: Pietro is right, we have been walking for hours. We should be by the campsite by now.

Bruce: Question, why are we using our phones to communicate if we’re together?

Y/N: Because Steve is just… so happy. Look at him. He’s enjoying this so much.

Pietro: I may be bitter about this trip but my complaining would ruin it for Steve and he deserves a break.

Bruce: Ummm… Y/N?

Y/N: Yeah, Bruce?

Bruce: There’s a very large, angry looking bug on you. Don’t move.

Y/N: YOU CANT JUST TELL ME THAT BRUCE AND THEN EXPECT ME NOT TO MOVE GET IT OFF GET IT OFF BRUCE BRUCE DO SOMETHING BRUCE BRUCE OH GOD NATASHA SAVE ME

Natasha: It’s gone! Calm down. You’re okay, you’re okay. I promise not to let any bug near you. Since the boys are pretty much cowards, I’ll take on the role of bug destroyer.

Bucky: …it was so big nat… so terrifying… you are our hero.

Y/N: Where did it go though…?

Bruce: Oh it’s entangled in Thor’s hair now.

Thor: LADY NATASHA, RESCUE ME FROM THIS FOUL DEMON. I DID NOT CONSENT TO THIS TORTURE, AWAY WITH IT! IT’S HISSING! ODIN HELP ME.

Tony: THOR DON’T SUMMON LIGHTNING!

Thor: I WILL SMITE THEE, DEMON! THIS LECHEROUS THING THINKS IT CAN ATTACK ME. I MAY BE SCARED BUT I AM STILL MIGHTY!

Keep reading

❉ = fluff / ✥ = angst / ✱ = comedy / ✺ = 😏

admins favorites = 🍑 / 🥝


JIN

YOUR WORSE THEN NAMJOON

i don’t mind people finding out

pancakes

you ruined my pickup line

unrelated topic, did you like what you saw ?

okay, i give you permission to kill him, but please wait until Thursday 🥝

guess who loves you

DO YOU NOT WANT ICE CREAM ???


i take you out one time and suddenly i’m the local delivery guy ?? ❉ & ✱

i like you too, like a little… little lot. ✱ & ❉

👉🏼👌🏼 ?

i’m not kidding tho where does he live i’m already in the car angry and ready to go

if i have to listen to management nag about weight one more time i’m marching straight out of this building

YOONGS

i am not cute

i don’t want to talk to you anymore

come help me out here ?

if it makes you feel any better ur a great chair

roasting you is like the best part of my day

i need lady stuff

what happend to the yoongi who doesn’t take shit from anyone ? ❉ & ✥

are you texting me song lyrics ?

come to the studio and sit on my lap ✺ & ✱

text me, call me, email me, send a letter; for all i care it could be by pigeon

i promise i only type like this when i like the person i text

completely giving up, starring me.

he’s just not hitting anything other then my knees

i was thinking about making out with you all day

not the pillow part you one celled creetin

lets get another doggo

thank god, i’d thought you’d never leave me alone

yeah being as short and mean as you is a real gift.

soft min family™️

HOBI

fuck the fuck off

can i have like five of you ?

ur so pretty

have fun with math

but hobi wants some love ❉ & ✱

that’s cuz im trying to communicate with u

jung hoseok you’ll be the death of me

i wanna kiss your face every time i see you too

you know i support everything you do right ?

where did all that wisdom come from ?

stop talking to the small man

series : big bro hobi

i’m disowning you.

BOYS WILL EAT YOU ALIVE

JOON

you still up ?

yeah i can rap like the entire thing

right, and what does your mom call you ?

sure, have fun with my bras

that’s because you don’t speak Korean

i see you’ve had a few drinks ❉ & ✱

i miss your face

I’m not wearing any fucking underwear, because you never put the fucking laundry in the fucking dryer like I asked you to 100 times ✱ 

i better be ✥ & ✱ 

the company told me not to go but i couldn’t disappoint you like that

i have to go look for a new job

CHIM

ur such a loser

but you dont like shopping

the disrespect in this one is strong

it was supposed to be a surprise

you mean my singing ? ✱ & ❉ 

he’s just jaelous his dongsae had a child before him

very funny babygirl ✱ & ✺

we’ll go wherever you want

yoonmin : you’re like a candy bar jimin, half sweet half nuts.

you want me to come over ? we can cuddle

i cant sleep, are you up ?

is little jimin mad ? or should i say regular jimin ? ❉ & ✱

TAE

Hey ! i bought you ice-cream

the inventor of snapback look™

tae don’t you think the pillow wall is a bit of an overkill ?

thank god at least one of you know how to make a move

you’re not disappointing anyone by eating breakfast and lunch ❉ & ✥

did you do the english assignment ?

it’s just like 99.999% your fault

vkook : THIS IS A SHARED DORM

you’ll send me letters everyday right ?

are you telling me you’ve been smart this whole time ?

it’s in my job description

JK

wassup dudette

ayo ladies and gentleman

send nudes

what are you doing right now ?

look how cute we are

i just have a strong disliking to your personality

i like our bickering

babe i need your opinion ✱ & ✺

i’ll buy you food for a week if you tell me i’m your favorite

you could pay me a million and i still wouldn’t consider it

i didn’t want to leave your side that night because i wanted you to feel safe

stop kicking my chair

what does oppa mean ?

i miss every little thing you do

i’ll give you three breadsticks and a goat if you give me jimin

in your dreams

jk he’s not lord voldemort

i didn’t think this one through

good job, guk 

i’ll always be your kookie

some of us actually need school jk

the village called. they want their idiot back, you better get going.

happy removal day

2 OR MORE

yeah and i’m just implying that i want to take you out on a date

what are you an owl ?

jin just made the worse recipe ever and i doubt he put ANY effort into it

i don’t like going outside

absolute soul mate has 16 letters and so does fuck jungkook asap

you’ve both got the same mental age

you are pure evil

i’m so whipped, this is incredible

for now i’ll have your lovely messages to look forward to ❉ & ✥

dont mess with me park ✱ & ❉

i like to send nudes ok ? if that’s my biggest flaw i think i’m ok.

if you were any thicker you’d look at the weather app outside

don’t start with me pindick

i’m not related to you anymore

we don’t want him

he really wanted to be in the picture

softie.

i can’t believe you saw mini nochu

i gain 3k for every shirtless picture

the power of jjang jjang man

next time you plan on rapping verse1 invite me

i’ll tell them to stop bothering you

okay, but if it attacks my dog i’m giving it to jimin ✱ & ❉

CRUSH CANCELLED ✱ & ❉

way to ruin the mood loser ✱ & ✺

dont act so smug you little shit

tell him to drop dead, with my compliments

you use that meme when you get nervous ✱ & ❉

was i your second choice ? ✱ & ❉

he’s a little small, but he’ll do ✱ & ✺

bring me some vodka and condoms ✱ & ✺

your butt rights have been invoked

one can never know too many counting systems ✱ & ❉

all he’s done to me with his 10/12 looks

i’ll take you out on a real date when ur older

i dont know what your problem is, but i’m guessing its hard to pronouce

that was my… goldfish.

you did not just call me your dog

STOP ASKING THINGS I WANT TO HEAR

i’ve been staring at the wall for the past hour

HORSES DONT EAT PEOPLE

cheating series :

hold on imma go beat his ass

i told him the only thing smaller then him is his dick

this bitch gonna die tonight

i’m going to jail when i see his ass

when u gotta kill your hyung

dumped him so hard he probably got whiplash

losing a member series : 

we bangtan 6 now 🍑

how is it you’re the smartest and dumbest person i’ve ever met

YOU LOST HIM DIDN’T YOU

how do you manage to lose a human being ??

gang au series :

you act like you’ve never been shot before !

but did you die ?

is everyone alive and not in jail ?

mafia gangs dont have facebook pages.

one little girl thought it was cool i was covered in blood

teasing members series :

confess or i’ll set your mattress on fire

namjoon i will call your mother

so when are y'all getting kids

i will literally launch you into the sun

VIDEOS

footage of me at the club

footage of me at a house party

footage of me in the kitchen

footage of me with friends

why i shouldn’t be allowed to edit part 1

why i shouldn’t be allowed to edit part 2