you gross badass you

I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out.
Resentments on the theme of “the only real transwoman is an out transwoman.” Here are some pieces of the story. It’s not everything but it’s more privacy than I’ve ever wanted to sacrifice.
By Jennifer Coates

I posit to her, after useless, stressful paragraphs of diagonal argument, that when you are cis and you don’t shave your legs, some people think you are a gross feminist and some people think you are a badass feminist. You have the privilege of experimenting with your body hair because your status and your identity are otherwise secured.

They may call you “butch” or “bitch” but they will not force you into the wrong bathroom. It will not collapse the trembling house of cards you’ve constructed to make people forget what they think you are. You are safe where some people are not.I tell her when you are trans and you don’t shave your legs, it is taken as evidence to everyone — even to allies in their dark, unadjustable subconscious — that you are not a real woman. Sometimes even by yourself.

She is furious. She tells me I am a straight cis male and I need to shut up and listen. What she is really furious about is being contradicted by someone who, according to their facebook profile, has a lower ranking on the intersectional totem pole than she.

A very enlightening and somewhat depressing take on what it’s like to be in the closet as a transwoman, especially as pertains to misandry, stereotyping, and labels.