you gotta have someone

Tumblr aesthetics are cool and all, but there’s nothing quite like making your town as you as possible. 

If you like balloon furniture, decorate with it! If you like to have non-matching PWPs, build ‘em! If you like your villagers’ houses to be helter skelter and all over the place, let ‘em be!

You don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.

3

i don’t wanna be…a merderer….

3

3D Painting Test on Leoh;;;;
(also added the rough sketch to show the progress >:0 !!)

I was grocery shopping today and was gonna pick up the ingredients to make one of the many wonderful recipes that @askrustynail has made for me over the years….

…BUT DAMN, MAN. WHY YOU GOTTA USE EITHER OBSCURE LIQUORS OR LIKE 1oz of 8 DIFFERENT KINDS WHERE I’D BE SPENDING $80 FOR ONE DRINK

I WAS GONNA MAKE A SOMBRA BUT BLAVOD VODKA??????????

a wiggles calls for honey and vanilla vodka but I DRANK ALL YOUR DELICIOUS HONEY VODKA ALREADY

and idk where to find godvia liquor for a spock

THIS WILL TAKE SOME INVESTIGATION and i guess a visit to like an actual store instead of just going to fresh marketttttttt

i don’t interact with this fandom anymore but i will say this:

if you’re a g/ntama blog with lots of followers you have an even bigger responsibility to protect minors from harm; that means recognizing that crapikagu (okik@gu) IS pedophilia/abuse and ignoring this and allowing it to happen by reblogging fanworks or following people who ship them is only creating a safe space for pedophiles.

When We Collide (Part 8)

Pairing: Assistant!Y/N/CEO!Luke

Rating: NC-17

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Summary: He is the definition of high class smart ass, swimming in Dom Pierre Pérignon champagne and has never seen the shadow of poverty. She is underprivileged, lives in a messy dorm room on sale and struggles working as an assistant after being thrown out of college. But how will they collide when Luke makes Y/N pregnant after a drunkenly one night stand?

When We Collide on Wattpad

”What do you mean Holly is going to be my girlfriend?” Luke’s confusion was clear on his face, eyebrows furrowed and jaw falling slowly.

You were having the exact same expression on your face but kept quiet after your small outburst, you were just so shocked you didn’t know whether it was actually a real statement or just a simple lame joke.

Keep reading

Horoscopes by Gil Hizon - Week of April 2-8, 2017

Look, queen…

ARIES (March 21 – April 19)

Okay, so you’re like, on a different wavelength than the rest of us this week. This is usually the time (for some reason) where bitches are running around frantic with the amount of overwhelming shit they have to do, but you’re all like, “Spring Break, WOOOOOO!” Look, queen, we want you to keep going with that, but maybe don’t be so fucking overt about it. Some of us have to work.
=====

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)

So a big change is set to happen in your life within a few months, and if it was any other bitch, the normal reaction would be a huge freakout. But not you. You’re a fucking sea of calm. I mean more power to you, but this mode is making others uncomfortable. In looking at chu, these other hos may think that you just don’t give a rats ass how your big change could affect them. Look queen, it’s not your nature to cater to the other gurls, but at least just let them know that you care about what’s coming.
=====

GEMINI (May 21 – June 21)

People recognize and respect your ability to formulate theories and your willingness to keep an open mind. But sometimes, bitches just want to know what you really think without you referencing all these fancy fucking anecdotes you keep in your mental arsenal. Look, queen, hos are overwhelmed right now. When they ask you a question, be direct. B. E. Direct.
=====

CANCER (June 22 – July 22)

Sometimes, the more you plan your week, the more disappointed you get when things take fucking longer than expected. It’s stressful enough to have a pile of shit to do without time being a factor. Look, queen, this week is just gonna be a shitshow. The earlier you recognize and anticipate that, the more you’ll be able to accept and be at peace with the universe when the barista screws up your Starbucks.
=====

LEO (July 23 – August 22)

Oh, gurl, why are you even going there? And by “there,” I mean that dark place that contains all your neuroses, apprehensions and regrets about bad memories from distant past. Look queen, if you’re trying to harness your tolerance for bad shit because you think something horrible is about to happen, this is not the way to go. Huddling up on your own is not a good idea right now. You need to be among the bitches who love and accept yo ass. #textthem
=====

VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)

Here are just some of the things that annoy you: inefficiency, business e-mails on a Sunday, and people who walk their dogs without leashes (it’s careless, selfish, with a dash of lazy). Look queen, I’ll be the first one to tell a ho to wait at least 24 hours before speaking up when bitches do these things, but sometimes, you just gotta let someone have it, right on the muthafucking spot.
=====

LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)

You need to be careful what you’re promising other bitches. You may think you have something in the bag, but have you looked in there lately? Look, queen, there is no need to make any big proclamations about the future right now because any ho within hearing distance may start making life-altering adjustments to their routine all willy-nilly. The least you can do is wait a few fucking days. 
=====

SCORPIO (October 23 – November 21)

Look, queen, existing in two planes is not usually your gig (that’s more of a PISCES thing), but not this week. Get ready for a tug of war between your default intense nature which usually anchors you to the ground, and your awakened exploratory instincts that are more apt to search for new experiences to find meaning, even if it’s at a clearance bin at cRoss Dress For Less. As far as internal conflicts go, it’s better than a post-Chipotle experience.
=====

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – December 21)

Thanks to a rut in one of your key relationships, your zodiac sign isn’t the only thing that has “SAG” in it. Could it be that maybe you’ve waited too long as far as even attempting to make any repairs in this partnership? Look, queen, if there’s even a nugget of anything that is worth saving in this union, I fucking urge you to get thee to fixing that shit. Immediately, if not sooner.
=====

CAPRICORN (December 22 – January 19)

The minute some bitch gets all emotional on you this week, you’re out. You are a firm believer that there is a place and time for catering to other hos “outbursts,” and your business vicinity ain’t it. Look, queen, I know that you’re focused on rolling up your sleeves and getting shit done but you also have to recognize that this person in front of you may not just be some employee.
=====

AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18)

You’ve been on-the-go so much, that you’ve grown accustomed to always trying to get shit done. The idea of rest is so fucking alien to you now that you’ve trained yourself to sleeping only four hours a night. Look queen, that shit adds up. Instead of being so worried about the countless duties you have to do, why not sit back, relax and celebrate what you have accomplished?
=====

PISCES (February 19 – March 20)

So you do this thing where, when you’re critiquing others, you like to bookend that shit with unnecessary piles of praise and encouragement. We think that you do this as a way to pad the blow. Look, queen, I’m not saying that you should stop that shit. All I’m saying is that we can see what you’re doing. We’re onto you, gurl, thanks to our PISCES Opinion Filter, now available in all colors of the fucking rainbow.
=====

(DISCLAIMER for all entries: This is all a shitshow!)

For more Horoscopes By Gil Hizon, click here, gurl!

With April 1st right around the corner, few things to keep in mind...

**People sensitive to mental illness/chronic illness/physical illness/invisible illness, be careful of number 13, people struggling with fertility be careful of number 9**

1. DO NOT DO THE INFAMOUS OREO TRICK! It’s that picture where they’re like “put toothpaste in someone’s oreos :’D” Don’t fucking do that people. That can send people to the hospital!

2. DO NOT put “regular” soda in a drink instead of “diet”. If a client asks you for diet, you fucking put diet. Why? There’s a lot of potential health issues if you do “regular” instead of “diet”

3. Don’t be an asshole. What I mean by this, is don’t maliciously go after someone and purposely emotionally torment them ( “I killed you family members” prank type deal) or maliciously harm them that could easily send them to the hospital ( “Haha, I lit you on fire!”). You can do the clear wrapping on a door or toilet seat (those are always funny as hell), but please don’t maliciously torment someone. That’s just mean.

4. Don’t be groping people. If you don’t have their consent, don’t fucking touch them. Don’t be grabbing girl’s bums. Don’t be pulling on dude’s hairs. 

5. Don’t be handcuffing people together. Seriously, if no one consented explicitly directly before something took place, don’t fucking do it.

6. Lacing food/drinks. I don’t care who it is, people have all kinds of allergies and health conditions today. Don’t send someone to the hospital.

7. Stink bombs. Avoid nut based products at all costs, since this is a very common allergy. True story: some idiot sent off stink bomb with nut products in it while I was in high school. A girl I knew had to be tubed (the nurse said she could barely get the tube down her throat in time because of how much swelling she had) and the EMS was called because she was deathly allergic to nut products.

8. Internet pics/vids. The RBG-split/3-D images give people with specific health conditions headaches. The “screamers” can break headphones and give people heart attacks. The quickly flashing contrast colors can give someone a seizure. The hard core porn stuff can get someone fired from work or have a super awkward conversation with police officers. The hard core gore/blood/organ stuff can also lead to an awkward conversation with police officers.

9. Pregnancies. This one is kinda touchy. If you know someone doesn’t have fertility issues, it can be amusing, but for those who do have fertility problems for any reason under the sun, don’t do it.

10. Adoption. This can ruin a young kid’s world. Don’t say “by the way, you’re adopted” or “we got you on sale” or anything along these lines. That’s just cruel.

11. Kids. If you’re a minor,sure, prank another minor. However, it might be awkward as hell (especially if the minor’s parent gets involved) if you’re legally an adult and try to prank a minor. 

12. FBI shit. Be careful. That’s all I am going to say. Don’t be saying things that could potentially get the FBI at your door. 

13. Chronic/Invisible Disorders. Be mindful of these, including suicide. It isn’t funny to “prank” a suicide or to say someone else committed suicide. 

Pranks can be fun and/or hilariously, but that doesn’t mean you gotta torture someone and/or risk a serious hospitalization. Have fun, but not maliciously at someone else’s expense. 

lupy22  asked:

Probably going to be the craziest question ever but I gotta ask someone. What do you think having Jerome Valeska's baby would include?

Well, since you asked…
***************
HAVING JEROME VALESKA’S BABY WOULD INCLUDE:

•Being afraid to tell Jerome your pregnant for fear he’ll abandon you
•Eventually however, Jerome finds out you’re having his child
-“You really thought I wouldn’t find out doll?”
“No. I just really hoped you wouldn’t.”
•Let’s be real, Jerome wouldn’t be the happiest discovering he’s going to be a father. He’d definitely have his doubts.
-“But what if the baby doesn’t like me?”
“They’ll love you Jerome.”
•Jerome hoping the baby looks like you
-Except he wants the child to have his red hair and contagious smile
•Giving you back rubs and running to the grocery store in the middle of the night to buy food to satisfy your cravings.
-“I want pickles and ice cream.”
“Pickles and ice cream? Sure thing doll.”
•Receiving lots and lots of love and affection
-Constant forehead kisses and compliments
•Both of you arguing on the gender of the baby
-“It’s going to be a girl Y/N. I can feel it!”
“Really, because I think it’s a boy.”
(IT’S A GIRL)
•Jerome not being able to be in the delivery room/hospital with you since he is a wanted criminal. But once you get back home, Jerome can’t help but to fawn over your baby girl.
-“I told you it was a girl.”
“Shut up Jerome and just hold your baby.”
•The baby falling asleep in Jerome’s arms and crying every time you try to move her to her crib.
-“See, she loves you Jerome.”
“Yeah and I love her. But I was kind of hoping she would sleep in her crib so you and I could make some more babies.
“Jerome!”
•Overall being a loving, slightly dysfunctional family

Your turn

Lip x reader Warnings: cussing, cigarettes, slight sexual references

A/n: hey, a fanfic not about the marvel universe. Wow


Lip glanced down at his vibrating phone. He saw your name flash on the screen and he gave a small smile. He knew you were probably just calling to complain about something, or ask him to pick something up on his way home but he didn’t care. He loved hearing your voice. “Hey baby. What’s up?” He said when he answered the phone.

Your voice sent a wave of goosebumps over his skin. “Lip, PJ got in trouble at school again. Principal called home and wants one of us to meet with him.” You said.

“Again?” Lip asked rhetorically. “Do you have a ride or do I gotta send someone to you?” He asked.

“Not me sweet cheeks, it’s your turn.” You said, causing a groan to emit from lip’s chest. “No complaints mister, I got the last one. The time when the little shot got caught selling your cigarettes, I was the one who diffused the situation. This is on you.”

Lip sighed in defeat. “Fine, what did he do this time?”

“Cussed out a teacher. From my understanding the teacher deserved it though so don’t be too hard on the kid.”

Lip took a puff of his cigarette. “Fine, I’ll go in fifteen.”

“Sounds good. Love you.”

“Love you too babe.” He finished before shutting the phone.

The man finished off his cigarette and headed towards the school.

The classes were still in session so things were quiet through the halls. “Lip Gallagher.” A voice called. Lip turned and saw his old teacher. “I thought you would be in jail by now. What are you doing back here?”

Lip took a deep breath and put on a fake smile. “You think all the Gallaghers would end up in jail. But if you must know why I’m here, my kid got caught fucking your kid up the ass.” He turned his back and headed to the front office, happy that since he isn’t in school any longer there are no consequences to his bad language.

The office was empty except for his son sitting across from large desk that had the bald angry principal across from it. “So he told a teacher to fuck off?” Lip said before he even sat down.

The principal shot a death glare. “Phillip Jr didn’t tell that to a teacher, he told it to me. Normally this would result in a lunch detention but being as this is Jrs third offense this month, we are suspending him for three days.”

Lip looked at the boy and put his arm around him. “What was happening that he felt the need to tell you to fuck off?” He asked.

“Absolutely nothing. His behavior was completely uncalled for.” The principal tried to say.

This caused the kid to scoff. “Yeah right.” He muttered.

Lip looked down at his son. “What happened little man?” He asked.

“I was at my locker and he told me to get to class or he would call, and I quote, the tart that raised me. This fag basically called mom a hoe.” Pj told his dad.

Lip looked back up to the man who’s face was now red. “You called my wife a tart?” Lip asked.

“Well, I.. That….well that was completely taken out of context.” He tried to weasel away. “No matter what I say an eight year old should not use that type of language.”

Lip wasn’t having any of this. In one swift motion he had swung his fist and it connected with the principals head. “Don’t ever call my wife a tart or a floozie or a hoe or anything ever again. Pj isn’t suspended.” He turned to his son who was watching in awe. “Go on back to class.” He urged.

Once the kid left the room Lip grabbed the principal by his suit jacket. “My son will not get in trouble again. If we get a call about his behavior again next time i won’t just hit you. I’ll fucking kill you.” He promised before he left.

Back home you were perched on the counter, flipping through a coupon catalog. Lip walked through the door and you perked up.

“Baby, how did it go?” You asked, hopping down and embracing him in a hug. He hugged back.

“I took care of it.” He told you. You looked around.

“Where’s pj?” You asked.

“School, I convinced them to keep him.” He told you.

“You did?” Your grin spread across your face. “Thank you so much.” His hands slid down to your waist.

“You know there is still a few hours till school lets out.” He said, moving his hips to grind against yours.

You giggled. “Race you up stairs.”

Originally posted by shamelessturkey

Prostitute/Hooker AU starters
  • "How much?"
  • "I got $100, what can I get?"
  • "Wanna date?"
  • "Wanna party?"
  • "I have a hotel room... But it's lonely"
  • "I can make your dreams come true"
  • " hey big boy/girl, wanna have some fun?"
  • "Name's ______ , and I'm free tonight."
  • " I can make it all better"
  • "I can't be alone tonight."
  • " it's always nice to have a regular."
  • " need to meet me somewhere?"
  • "Have you got any friends, or are you the only option?
  • "It's gotta be nice to have someone who can't say no."
  • " I'll do anything for $__"
  • "I'm not from around here, what's a guy/girl gotta do around here for a good time?"
  • " you look like you need me."
  • " I'll take care of everything"
  • " you're beautiful, but I've never done this before."
  • "What made you do this?"
  • " an hour, or the night?"

messedupmoon  asked:

Imagine the supers wanting to know the full list of Danny's powers cuz it's so many to keep track of. They had Danny demonstrate all of them at the training room one day while they make a list. Cue eye twitch and "what the hell there's MORE?!?!?!"

HAH. This would be amazing. But also Danny would be super embarrassed and somewhat insecure about it. Eventually, probably somewhere after ecto-cryokinesis someone would make the, ok dude you gotta have A weakness to balance this out WTF comment and he’d just kinda whisper he hasnt found it yet but by Hecate he’s looking. -Nyx