you got carded

Also, @ mutuals, if any of you want a postcard from seoul, send me an ask! I’ll include a bad quality drawing of your favourite elf lol. (If you want a card but you’re not comfortable giving out your address, just say so and I’ll send you a picture of the dog I befriended here holding the card I wrote for you)

3

(That last gif demanded this. But on the note, have to wonder if Hakuba’s ever been to one of Kaito’s ‘heists’ where he really doesn’t do anything. Green Dream is especially coming to mind as Kid accomplishing something, just not exactly what everyone expected. Or, you know. Ryoma or that baseball incident. I’d love to know Hakuba’s thoughts on ones like those, even if he gets that Kaito isn’t a bad thief.)

If the espada got anonymous Valentine’s Day letters...


As requested by anon. :)


It’s Valentine’s Day! And for some reason, each of the espada received an anonymous Valentine’s Day card, delivered (naturally enough) by Gin. How will each of them react? [Note: I’ve done this already for the Sternritter!]


1. Szayel

Gin: Here, Szayel. You got a card.

Szayel: A being like me - a perfect, immortal being! - could only be wooed in one way, of course: by the most perfect of cards.

Szayel: Somehow, a paper square with a picture of Tosen that says “More than Justice, I love ‘Just us’!” doesn’t *quite* do it for me.

Szayel: This must be some kind of bad joke.

Szayel: Whelp, time to implant bugs in everyone until I find out who sent it!

Gin: I thought you didn’t like it?

Szayel: That doesn’t mean I don’t need to know.


2. Yammy

Yammy: Huh? What is this? It’s so tiny! I hate it!

Yammy: Ulquiorra, can I kill this little square thing?

Ulquiorra: Yes, Yammy. You may kill it.

Yammy: All right!

Gin: I pity the person who tries to woo you.

Yammy: Huh?


3. Halibel

Gin: Well, well, well, looks like YOU got three cards!

Halibel: Three anonymous cards, huh?

Halibel: One of which says, “I deer-ly love you,” one of which says, “I’d be ‘lion’ if I said I didn’t love you,” and one of which says, “Happy Valentine’s Day (animal puns aren’t classy).”

Halibel: …

Halibel: How. How will I ever solve this mystery.

Apacci (from behind a rock): I *knew* we all should have sent one card!

Mila Rose: As if we’d ever been able to agree on one!


4. Ulquiorra

Ulquiorra: A construction paper heart with glitter on it.

Ulquiorra: Flimsy, prone to tearing, and currently leaking glitter all over my hands.

Ulquiorra: Imperfect and fleeting, as ugly as it is worthless. Trash.

Ulquiorra: Truly, no greater representation of human emotions could ever exist.

Gin: So……..you like it?

Ulquiorra: I will treasure it forever.


5. Zommari

Gin: Even you got a card, Zommari!

Zommari: This is a Halloween card.

Zommari: It has a pumpkin on it.

Zommari: “Happy Halloween” has been crossed out and replaced by, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Zommari: The pumpkin has been labeled with my name.

Gin: You’re hard to read, but you seem happy.

Zommari: ‘LOVE’ IS ONE OF MY POWERS AND THEY WENT FOR A PUMPKIN JOKE?!

Gin: Correction: very happy.


6. Barragan

Barragan: I accept only the still-beating hearts of my enemies as tokens of affection.

Gin: How about a Snoopy card?

Barragan: No.

Gin: What if Snoopy is doing his Snoopy dance?

Barragan: No.

Gin: What if he has heart eyes?

Barragan: No.

Gin: But what if - and just stay with me here - he is dancing AND he has heart-eyes?

Barragan: GET OUT OF MY SIGHT

Gin: There’s no pleasing some people.


7. Grimmjow

Gin: Here, Grimmjow! You got a Valentine’s Day card.

Grimmjow: Why the hell would I want a Valentine’s Day card?

Gin: Well….this one says, “You’re the only one I want to fight” on it, and there appears to be a crude drawing of your abs.

Grimmjow: [takes card]

Grimmjow: [stares at card]

Grimmjow: [continues staring]

Gin: You love it, don’t you?

Grimmjow: I NEVER SAID THAT


8. Aaronerio

Aaroniero: All right, a Valentine’s Day card, just like the other espada!

Aaroniero: Wait a sec, this says, “You are my sunshine.”

Aaroniero: And it’s addressed to Kaien.

Aaroniero: …

Aaroniero: You know, sometimes I get the weird impression that people don’t like me.

Gin: Pretty sure that’s my cue to go. 


9. Nnoitra

Nnoitra: What kind of bullshit is this?!

Nnoitra: Hollows don’t express their feelings with cards!

Nnoitra: Hollows express their “feelings” through murder, ‘cause “murder” is the only feeling a hollow ever has!

Nnoitra: Tesla, destroy this stupid card thing!

Tesla: Yes, Nnoitra-sama!

Gin: Ouch. You sent it, didn’t you?

Tesla: I don’t know what you’re talking about.


10. Starrk

Starrk: A card, huh?

Starrk: That’s nice.

Gin: ….what, you like it?

Gin: None of the others seemed very thrilled.

Starrk: Probably none of the others were so lonely that they ripped their own souls in half.

Starrk: Speaking of which…. [rips card in half]

Starrk: Now I have two cards. And that is twice as many cards.

Gin: …

Gin: You do you, I guess.

Starrk: I’m so happy.