you even make professionals lose it


Here’s some of the most amazing and invaluable advice you’ll most-likely ever get from one of my good colleagues and legends in comics/gaming, creator JOE MADUREIRA. It’s what i’ve been preaching to you aspiring artists since i arrived on DA, but i think his POV says it perfectly:




Believe it or not there is a difference. I’m not usually a soapbox type guy, I don’t like instructing people, and I think I’m a terrible teacher. But hey, it’s Friday and I’m in a strange mood. So here goes:

I’ve noticed that a good number of my fans happen to be aspiring artists themselves. This is for all you guys. I get asked constantly: "Where should I go to school?” “What classes should I take?” “What should I study for anatomy?” “What pencils and paper do you use?” “Should I be working digitally now instead of traditionally?” “How do I fix my poses? Learn composition? Perspective?” “When am I going to develop my own style?” “Who were your influences?” “Teach me how to draw hands!” The list goes on…

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Here’s the deal. All of that stuff *is* important, and it may nudge you in the right direction. A lot of it you will discover for yourself. What works best for one person doesn’t work for another. That’s the beauty of art. It’s personal. It’s discovery. DON’T WORRY ABOUT ALL THAT CRAP!

Instead I’m going to answer the questions that you *SHOULD* be asking, but aren’t. These are things that have only recently occurred to me, after doing this for 20+ years. These things seem so obvious, but apparently they elude a lot of people, because I am surprised at how many ridiculously talented artists are ‘failing’ professionally. Or just unhappy. The beauty of what I’m about to tell you is that it doesn’t matter what field you’re in or what your art style is.

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In no particular order:

1) DO WHAT YOU LOVE. If you are passionate about what you’re doing, it shows. If you’re having fun, it shows. If you’re bored, IT SHOWS. Some guys are able to work on stuff they have zero interest in, and still pull off great work, but I find that when I do this my motivation takes a huge hit. And Motivation is key. Money is not a great motivator. It’s temporary like everything else. And honestly, I’ve gotten paid the most money for some of the shittiest work I have ever done. That may sound awesome, but it’s not. And here’s why…

2) You MUST stay Excited and Motivated. Have you noticed that there are days you can’t draw a god damned thing? And some days you feel like you can draw anything? It’s 4am but you don’t notice because you are in the ZONE. Your hand is racing ahead of your mind and you can do no wrong?! Maybe it’s some new paper you got. Or a new program you’ve been wanting to try out. Or you just found some amazing shit on DeviantArt, or watched some movie that just makes you want to run straight to your board. This relates to the above because while it is possible to involve yourself in projects you aren’t excited about—maybe you need the cash, or think it will look good on your resume, whatever it is—it’s not going to last. You need to stay fresh. Expose yourself to new things. New techniques. You should be getting tired of your own shit on a fairly regular basis. Otherwise other people will.

3) Check your Ego. If you think you’re the shit, you’re already doomed. You may be really, really good at what you do, but there’s someone better. Sorry. There’s always plenty to learn, even for us old dogs. So when I meet young upstarts who have this sense of entitlement, or a know-it-all attitude, I just have to laugh. Some of the biggest egos I’ve ever witnessed were from people who have accomplished the least. Meanwhile, most guys who are supremely talented AND successful, and have EARNED the RIGHT to have an ego and throw their weight around, don’t. Why is that? It’s because…

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4) RELATIONSHIPS ARE IMPORTANT. This may be one of the biggest lessons I’ve had to learn. Early on, I didn’t value my relationships with people. Creatively or otherwise. I felt like I didn’t need anyone’s help and I could figure everything out on my own. Let’s face it, many of us become artists because we are reclusive, social misfits. We’d rather stay inside and draw shit than go outside and play. We like to live inside our own minds. Why not?! It’s awesome in there! And sometimes we don’t want to let other people in. But like I said—you can’t do it alone. I can honestly say that as much as I try to stay current, as much as I try to push my work and draw kick ass shit that will excite people, I would not be where I am today if it weren’t for all the other people I’ve met and learned from along the way. Guys who pulled strings for me. Took risks on me. Believed I was the right guy for the job. You need to manage your relationships. You need to network, and meet people. Drawing comics is still a pretty good place for reclusive types—but if you want to work in big studios—Making games, Films, animation, basically any other type of job on the planet, you’d better start making some connections. Be likeable. Be professional. That doesn’t mean be an opportunistic ladder climber. Fake people lose in the end. Be yourself, but be professional. It’s no secret that when people are hiring, our first instinct is to bring in people we know. It’s human nature. I don’t like unknowns, even if their portfolio is awesome. If we have a mutual connection, if they have great things to say about you, you’re in. If you have AMAZING artwork to show, and I call your last employer and they tell me what a pain in the ass you are to work with, you’re done. Talent and skill only get you so far. I am literally amazed at how often I meet guys that are total assholes and think they are going to get anywhere.

5) Here’s the BIG ONE. The greatest obstacle you will ever have to overcome IS YOURSELF. And the Fear that you are creating in your own head. Stay positive. Stop defeating yourself. There are artists I know that are so damn good they make me pee my pants. I look up to these mofos. I study their shit and I want to draw like them. And they are almost NEVER working on their DREAM project. And—big surprise, they aren’t happy in their job. “Why NOT?! WTF is WRONG WITH YOU?!” is usually my reaction. And the answer is almost always “The market isn’t great right now” “Other stories/games/comics like mine don’t do very well” “The shit that’s hot right now is nothing like mine, It’s just going to fail.” “I’m not sure I’m good enough.” “I need the money.” “Too Risky.” “I tried it before and failed. ” It doesn’t matter what words they use, they are afraid for one reason or another. I know. I’ve been there.

But here’s the deal. YOU NEED TO TAKE RISKS. Guess what? YOU ARE MOST LIKELY GOING TO FAIL. If you want it—REALLY want it, that won’t stop you. You will learn A LOT. My good friend Tim constantly jokes about how I jump out of planes without a parachute and worry about the landing on the way down. You may think that I’m lucky, that it’s easy for me to say because I’m already successful, that I’m in a different situation than you all are. But it’s not true. Risk is risk, no matter what level you’re at. If you’re already successful, you just take even bigger risks. But they never go away. Everything in life is Risk vs. Reward. Not just in your career. LIFE. You’d better get used to it.

I didn’t know what the hell I was doing when I got into comics. I left the #1 selling book at the time ( Uncanny X-men ) to work on Battle Chasers during a time when 'Conan’ was about the only fantasy comic people knew. And no one was buying it. I wanted to work in games, so I started a game company. I had NO IDEA WTF I was doing. I just wanted it, really bad. We tanked. It failed. No big surprise. But the people I worked with got hired elsewhere and rehired me. I started ANOTHER game Company. We had 4 people and a dream, and some publishers wouldn’t even meet with us, because their 'next gen console’ teams had 90+ people on them. I literally got hung up on. “Stick to handheld games, it’s smaller, maybe you can handle that…” one MAJOR publisher told us. I don’t blame them. But we didn’t let it stop us. Thank god we didn’t listen to them. Vigil was born. Darksiders happened, AND we got to make a sequel. It stands shoulder to shoulder with the best games in the industry, and the most elite and experienced game dev studios in the world. How is that possible?!!! Hardly any of us had even worked on a console game before. I’ll be honest, I was thinking we would fail the whole time. I just didn’t care. If I had to play the odds on this one, I’d bet against us.

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Why am I telling you all this shit? This is not me patting myself on the back. It’s just stuff that has somehow only dawned on me recently when it’s been staring me in the face for so long. I feel like I need to wake you guys up!!! I’ve been limiting myself. I’ve gotten afraid. I’ve taken less risks. I saw my career going places I didn’t want to go. I wasn’t happy and I wasn’t excited. And I’ve realized, that all that stuff I just talked about is the reason I am where I am today. Not because I have a manga style, or I draw cool hands, or there’s energy in my drawings, or all the other things people rattle off to me. There are other guys that do all that same shit, and do it better. And amazingly, those same guys constantly tell me “Man, I wish I could do what you are doing.” “SO DO IT!!!!!” PLEASE listen to me—because I want you guys to make it. I want to look to one of you people for inspiration some day when it’s 2am and I need to keep drawing. Stop worrying about all the other stuff—the pencils, the paper, the anatomy, all that shit. It will only get you so far. You’ve already got most of what you need. I hope this helps some people. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all the support over the years. You are all one of the greatest motivating forces in my life and my career. Sappy but true. Ok, let’s go draw some shit!!!“

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Stripped - Part 1

Summary: Being a high powered publicist, the reader is hired to work with the destructive rock star Jensen Ackles. Her task is to revamp his difficult image from the ground up. Will the reader succeed? Or will she get sucked into his crazy life?

Pairing: rockstar!Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 1,175

“Well, shit. I was expecting room service but fuck that noise. Wanna be my breakfast, sweet girl?” Jensen sucks in his bottom lip, practically radiating sin while his eyes drink you in. Who the hell answers the door like that? Jensen motherfucking Ackles.

“No thanks.” You smirk in amusement, taking in the rock star’s disheveled but still delicious appearance. This man will make or break your fucking world, you’re still torn which way you want it to go.

“Then how will I know if you’re a good girl or a bad girl?” 

“I have to say…you’re even more entertaining than I thought you’d be.” The giggle that slips past your lips erases Jensen’s arrogant smile, a pissed off scowl is now staring back at you.

“I’m too hung over for fucking games. Who the hell are you?” He abruptly snarls, chugging down the vodka hiding in his glass of orange juice.

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AOS Reader x Spock - Cipher

Happy birthday, @storiesfromstarfleet

Jen, Jen, Jen, I was seriously empty-handed when I went to bed. I was gonna message you tomorrow and tell you that I owed you a birthday fic when my brain was back online, and then I had this dream.

I literally just banged this out, dear. It’s probably riddled with errors. Also, this is my first AOS Spock, and my first reader x Spock, so bear that in mind. I’m not sure how you feel about tattoos, either.

Warnings: extremely vague (super vague) references to mild sexual activity. Not very angsty, either. I don’t think I even curse in this one! 


“You have a tattoo,” Spock says carefully. Dark eyes flicker ever so briefly across your skin, and you shudder despite the heat of the Risan sun.

You shift back, folding your arms into your chest as if to conceal the dark loops of ink that dance gracefully across your ribs. “I do,” you say softly, though it’s hardly an admission - the tattoo has been on display for all to see at the beach. You feel your cheeks burning, which is weird. You’ve never been self-conscious of it; in fact, you hardly think of it anymore.

It’s etched innately into your skin, a familiar, natural part of you. 

“When?” To the uninformed observer, Spock’s voice could be considered sharp.

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Things to remember

Here’s some advice I wrote for myself after graduating high school 2 and a half years ago.

  • Be unapologetically yourself. Embrace the sound and content your own voice and be confident in who you are, what you want and what you believe in. Every single person is born with their own unique mind, body and heart and that’s pretty freaking amazing so don’t waste time trying to be someone else. Know that you’re just working things out the best you can and so is everyone else. Think you have it together until you really do and you’ll slowly realise it’s true.
  • Worry less. Embrace your mistakes, your flaws and your weaknesses. Keep growing. Be constantly learning and teaching and learning more. Ask for help when you need it. Turn stress into motivation. Take criticism and failure and use it to your advantage; be excited by the chance to grow and improve. Don’t expect perfection; but don’t settle for less than you can achieve. Be that person other people can look to for assurance and positivity and open-mindedness.
  • Enjoy youth more. Don’t rush where you don’t need to. Sing loudly even though you’re out of tune, get up and dance with friends. Your moves are dorky but it’s okay. Don’t concern yourself with gossip, back stabbing or jealousy. If a person is not interested in being decent, don’t waste your time and energy on them. Say yes more often. Try new things. Learn a new sport, brew coffee, join a boxing club, debate, cook, photograph, make music. Meet more people; talk to everyone, even strangers, like old friends. Get to know as many people, stories, minds as possible. Keep old friends. Live in the good of every moment.
  • Claim your identity.  Don’t just sit and wait for things to happen to you. The best things happen when you plan and when you don’t have enough time. Take the jobs, the internships, the research assignments that you think you can’t do. No one except yourself can tell you what you can do and what you are going to do. Be recognisable for the right reasons. Invest in who you are right now and who you want to become. Do what you love, do it well and let your actions reveal to the world your values, your beliefs and your strengths.
  • Don’t lose your compassion. Keep your idealism and let it guide your choices. Work hard and struggle so that others don’t have to. Fulfil childhood dreams. Be generous. Be selfless. Have enough to give even more. Where ever you are, stay humble. Don’t chase professional success without the passion. Leave you mark; make the best difference you can.
  • Respect yourself, your mind, your body. Know your limits but pursue personal greatness. Fill your body with more natural and organic and less crap. Drink green tea. Run. Sweat. Rise with the sun. Do daily yoga. Do beautiful things with your body. It’s all yours - treat it well.
  • Be comfortable on your own. Go to a cafe, have coffee with yourself, a pen and a notebook. It’s not sad to be alone; it’s actually pretty damn awesome. Slow down. Observe the world around you. Enjoy when you’re surrounded by company but learn also to be okay by yourself. Take the time to reflect on where you are, where you want to be and how to get there.
  • Question ideas. Form educated opinions. Be willing to challenge those opinions and let them be challenged. Read the news. Keep informed. Spark debates, win some. Be okay with admitting you’re wrong; you can’t know everything. Don’t confuse the political with the personal. Be an active citizen of the world. Lead. Serve. Be confident in your capabilities and use them with wisdom and grace. Be brave enough to contribute.
  • Be more vulnerable. Let people in. Find that person; the one you don’t have to pretend for. The one who respects you, recognises your worth and wants to know all of you. The one who shares your weird sense of humour and makes you laugh so hard no sound comes out. Who reads books and watches shows just because they’re your favourite, kisses you even when they’re too exhausted to speak and stays up with you at 3am to figure out the universe. Love loudly and let yourself be loved.
  • Write. Write every day. Most of it will suck but at least you did it. Read a lot. Take note of good writing and not so great writing. No one needs to read it; you just have to write. Write about the things you see and do, the people you meet, the ideas that scare you, the places that steal your breath, the person that steals your heart. Keep trying that poetry thing. You’ll eventually get to the stage of being ‘not completely awful’.
  • Do everything with honest purpose. Be busy living life and enjoying moments, places and company.
....well, richonners ... the 7x12 countdown is in its final week ... it’s time to “say yes” to our end. are you ready? are you prepared? because i have an idea of how to prepare and how this might go, if you can handle it, read on to get some ideas on what to do and what to expect.

this is *not* for the faint of heart…*possible spoilers*, definite smut.  😘 😘

so … first off, get your affairs in order …. put in your notice at work, visit your momma, feed the dog, pay up your life insurance for the loved ones you leavin’ behind … ‘cause you’re gonna lose this fight. 

you. are. going. to. lose. everything.

get your will outta the way, cause we all gon’ die anyway, but most of us during this episode. the rest of us…right after losing all strength to go on.

now — make sure you get these things in place before 7x12 … don’t get scared, get prepared.

or…if you wanna go out in style, wear your best for the journey to the other side…

… my burial gown is lavender — you’ll see it further down in this post.

so … to cool off, stock up on these … 

or, double the effort with the water-bottle-spraying refresher … 

or … if it gets too hot, too fast, as is expected and natural with richonne, get the largest one of these you can get delivered, so you can cool down and delay spontaneous combustion (but, be careful now…or you may go up in flames even faster, depending on how fast and furious richonne’s lovemaking is kill’n you) …

now … if you can’t handle actually watching with your own eyes this kind of passion, best to just read about it — but, if you’re prepared to risk yo’self, just to witness richonne’s lubricant-inspiring and eye-candy lovemaking, then, this may help you cope.

 … in case you start fazing out during the sexy times …

… stock up on this … it may help …

or, at least make sure you’ve got someone who can do this…

…but, if you should straight suffer life-threatening effects from richonne’s hypnotic, mouth-and-between-your-legs waterin’ and heart-stopping love-making magic … if you start losing control of your bodily functions….such as this:

… or this … 

…. to finally this ….

…that leads to this….

then make sure you have the professionals ready — ‘cause now it’s time to save your life. SAVE IT!! … so you can live to almost die another day to watch 7x12′s “say yes” again…!

… and, finally …. a don’t go, bitch last ditch effort of this ….

…but, if even after all that effort to save you, you’re still leavin’ this life because rick made love to michonne soooo good, soooo damned thorough and so incredibly proper —  with rick arching his back and clasping michonne’s ass and hips to him while slam-thrusting her hard to get all the way up in that glorious pussy… her legs-over-his-shoulder, slammin’ their wet-smacking crotch together as rick is deep-thrust fuckin’ michonne before finally goin’ down on her …

… or michonne’s front and backwards rodeo buck-ridin’ her beautiful blue-eyed southern cowboy, curls-graspin’, deep-throat, out-of-breath kissing him, rolling around, legs wide open or tightly wrapped and locked around rick, mutual gasping and moaning … michonne licking, biting and tasting him before rick reverse slams the fuck outta her …. 

…. if all of that has blown your mind, your libido, your heart and your chances of survival ….  

then —- you bring in this guy … for your last rites…because i’m gonna tell you what’s going to happen to you at this point ….

… the richonne pleasure factor will be too much for you …. way too much for you to handle, so you’ll succumb to death for the visual witnessing of richonne’s love for each other and their breathtakingly perfect lovemaking. too bad. so sad. you’re dead. bye.

…you’ll wander off into richonne after-life paradise where previous richonners await your arrival…you’ll all sit around sippin’ tea and talkin’ about which richonne moment took your life, what’s happened since then, etc…

lol…for real, tho’….you thought you'd actually live through seeing all that richonne smut happening right before your eyes without suffering the consequences — you knew you’d never survive it.

 but you tried it. you tried it.

you weren’t alone in your demise, btw … all the richonne fandom went up in flames because of richonne’s true love and all the moments of affection, king and queen badassery and their supreme lovemaking. 

every last richonner — they’re all in the richonne landfill — where they belong. i’ll be joining them soon as i, too, did not survive this.

…this was your coffin…

…and all of our final resting place — at the richonne landfill of alexandria.

… then at last, off to my own funeral. 

so, ask me….was it worth it? 

hell. to. the. yeah, it was. imma do it again!! 


for those of us who don’t know how to quit….consider these “after-life” alternatives for another chance at life…consider the possibilities of:

a seance….with this creepy ass possessed lil’ gurl to bring you back…

or the ouija board … use at your own risk …

or…my go-to after-life method for getting back into richonne, literally….

… body-jumping a’la oda mae brown style. not exactly the same concept, but it’s worth a try. 

you see … i’m sooo going after rick … i’m cum coming for you, rick grimes … and i’m body-jumpin’ straight into michonne!


I start my new job today March 27th, 2017 after wrongful termination from my previous job March 1st, 2017. I went through something very traumatic, I had never lost a job before. Not only that, I had never had to make sure I could pay my bills and slip by on skipping out on meals or so. Never before. I struggled night and day trying to find a profession. I had numerous interviews, I had no luck in call backs that were good news. I was defeated and disappointed because now I needed a job, instead of just wanting one for my own income. I have bills to manage and keep up with. I didn’t have a choice to be lazy. Thankfully I am not out on my own, my parents kept telling me to take it easy but me being myself, that wasn’t happening.
I kept that job on my resume to prove I had experience in jobs I was applying for and despite the wrongful termination, I allowed those jobs to contact for proof of work experience. This was a life lesson for me; anything at any point can happen. Your parents and teachers inform you of that throughout your entire life, but they don’t discuss how realistic it is in adulthood when you not only can “expect the unexpected” but you can damn well sure to be terrified when the “unexpected” could very well send you into mental breakdowns. On my resume I had certification for the jobs I was applying for, hours I put into making damn sure I could use those later in life for these purposes. I was rejected. Because Susan was fifty with twenty years of experience while I was twenty with four years of experience. Of course with odds like that you’re going to lose. And that breaks your heart, how could you lose like that? So once again, I was defeated. Then I ran across this post that @kimreesesdaughter posted about how to finesse an interview and how to “bone up” on your resume. It was a blessing because I took the advice. On that same post @dickprintbandit commented telling people she could finesse resumes and fix them up for you. I decided that I needed some help, so I called to her. She not only fixed my resume for me, she gave me life tips and pointers for even if you have all the experience in the world, an employer will still doubt your abilities. I didn’t lose hope thanks to her. She fixed my resume, made it more than just professional and presentable, she made it my own and it is heart warming to inform people of this, of how she helped me land the best job I get to start today. My dream job.
If you’re struggling with a resume or how to finesse an interview I highly recommend @dickprintbandit because she was more than a blessing for me, she became a long time friend. She will make your resume the experience they are looking for and will boost your confidence with it too. She does them for no cost, although I say give her a follow and a shoutout once she turns your life around for you. My resume helped land me a job before the month ended, meaning I can continue my career without a break in cycle. I can pay my bills and also have fun at my new job and my world is coming back together again thanks to her help. I cannot say thank you enough to her.
She’s also a great listener and has wonderful advice. Please consider her if you need help, she’s quite a joy.

littlefists  asked:

//whispers tuckington for "how about you make me" bc I will never tire of that line ASK SARO I NEVER THANKED YOU FOR THE DELIGHTFUL TUCKINGTON YOU MESSAGED ME ON SUNDAY!!!! It made my busy stressful Sunday a momentary DELIGHT

(you are WELCOME i try very hard to delight)

“You,” Washington says, putting every possible amount of weight and force into three precious syllables at 0500 hours, “motherfucker.”

Tucker takes a sip from one of the four cups of Koffy surrounding his little fortress of half a dozen sticky buns. “Hey, you snooze you lose,”

Washington wants to remind him that this is a small, private officers meeting and he should be at least a little professional, but he is tired and mad and Tucker took all of the fucking Koffy for himself.

“Give,” he says, and points at one of the cups.

“How about,” Tucker says, all slow and deliberate as he takes a delicate nibble off the edge of his third sticky bun - his third! He isn’t even eating one he’s just taking little claiming bites off of each, the monster - “you make me?”


“That’s one way to do it.”


Washington reaches for a cup; Tucker bats his hand away. Washington glares and tries again; Tucker, as well, repeats his gesture. “You gotta make a deal with me. You know. Exchange same goods for–”

Washington tunes out the rest, sleepy brain making the obvious connection. He stands, walks over, grabs Tucker on either side of the face and kisses him with all of the coordination and passion he can dredge up at such a godawful hour. Which isn’t that much, but it is hopefully worth the cup of Koffy that Washington can taste as Tucker leans into the kiss.

They break apart for breath after an unknown amount of time, but still close enough that Washington can feel Tucker’s nervous laugh and softly whispered “dude, I was just gonna try to get you to swap shifts training the kids with me.”

His sleepy, smoldering contentment is replaced all at once with electric, ice-cold horror. Washington yanks himself backwards as hard as he can, too late registering the weight across his shoulders as Tucker’s hands on the back of his neck; they end up on the ground in tangled heap, with Washington’s hands trying to scramble backwards but his legs very securely tangled with Tucker’s.

“If you want me to kiss you so badly,” Tucker says, on his hands and knees with his nose nearly bumping Washington’s, “you could just ask.”

The air feels charged between them, and there’s so many things Washington wants to say all crowding in the back of his throat. He swallows, and mutters, “stop stealing shit, first.”

“What? Like this?” Another kiss, one soft and sweet and brief that makes Washington chase his mouth.

“Just a couple more, then Koffy,” Washington says, holding himself up with one arm while the other ensures Tucker doesn’t escape. “Then the meeting. Then more, later.”

“All right.”

And of course that’s when the door opens, admitting Simmons, who freezes in the doorway with a squawk. “Fuck!” He takes a stumbling step forward, then Grif is peering over his shoulder.

“Oh, you whores,” the sim-trooper laments, as Washington shoves Tucker off him with a little too much force, “that’s where all the sticky buns went.”

Healing Touch

Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel Novak, Gabriel Novak, Balthazar Novak, Hannah Novak, chatty portier.   

Pairing: Destiel AU

Warnings: Innocent state of undressed, innocent touching, flirting - nothing but fluff and cuteness here y’all.   

Word Count: 2100ish

A/N: I am not sure I am completely over my writing/posting hiatus but here goes. It has also been way too long since I have written for my babies <3 Thanks to Jay aka @i-dont-know-how-to-write for yet again giving me an excuse to write Destiel. It is done for her Cutie Challenge and my prompt is At First Sight (after I pleaded with Jay if I could change it).

I kept parts of it really close to the movie, while other things are completely spun out of my own mind. I borrowed a bit of dialogue which I do not claim any ownership off.

Thanks to the sweet amazing @deansleather for betaing this big ball of fluff for me :D

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

Castiel was stressed. Running an advertisement business with his two brothers and sister after their dad left it to them was hard work. Balthazar and Gabriel didn’t take the work serious, at least not in Castiel’s opinion. They liked going out and finding new clients and coming up with new groundbreaking ideas, but doing the hard work it was to keep the ones the company already did have happy bored them. So Castiel and Hannah were stuck with all the hard work.

Long days at the office and even longer nights at home were starting to weigh down on him. Castiel sometimes wondered if he was even happy doing what he did. He had wanted to design houses when he went to college, not crunch numbers fighting to keep his father’s business afloat because his brothers liked spending more money that they earned.

It had taken Castiel almost collapsing in his office one afternoon before he started listening to his sister, who had been telling him for months to take a vacation at the very least. Hannah knew he wasn’t happy at the New Heavens. She knew this place never was his dream. It was hers and as much as she appreciated his help, she wanted her brother to be happy. The buzz and noise of New York never made him happy and New Heavens was nothing but stressful to him.

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anonymous asked:

How can you treat a heartbreak/depression/existential crisis?

My 21 Tips on Keeping Your Shit Together During Depression

1)   Know that you’re not alone. There are people who are depressed, people who have been depressed, and people who just haven’t been hit with it yet.

2)   Understand that the Happy People are usually acting out of some genuine (albeit misguided) concern for you, that it’s coming from a good place, even if the advice feels like you’re being blamed for your disease. Telling you these things makes them feel better, even if it makes you feel like shit. (If they insist on keeping it up, see #12.)

3)   Enlist the help of a professional.  See your doctor. You need to talk about the ugly stuff, and there are people paid to listen and help you find your way to the light at the end of the tunnel. Know that it takes time to find someone you trust even if it is a professional. There are a lot of judgemental scum bags so don’t lose hope and keep looking until you find your person

4)   Understand that antidepressants will only do so much. They’re useful, they’ll level you out and give you the time you need to figure out your own path to getting well. They can be helpful. There are lots to choose from. They may not be for you, and even if they are, they take some time to kick in. Conversely, they may not be for you. Work with your doctor. Just keep in mind tho there are a lot of risks and I can go into them if you want but all in all just do your research.

5)   Pick up a paintbrush, a pencil, an activity you got joy from in the past and re-explore that.  Or, sign up for the thing you always wanted to try. There is a long history and link between depression and creativity. It’s a bright light of this condition, so utilize it to your best advantage.

6)   Eat nutritionally sound, regular small meals. If you’re having trouble eating, try to focus on what you’d like to eat. I went through a whole couple months of just eating spaghetti. It wasn’t a lot and it was once a day but it was something. My weight is something that I have always struggled with because when I get stressed/depressed/ or have anxiety I cannot eat, and it is honestly the worst. 
However, for the people that if all you want to do is scarf down crap, try to off-ramp it by downing a V-8 and doing #9 for 15 minutes, and see how you feel. Eating horribly will make you feel worse, I promise. Please eat healthy and drink lots of water, it will give you energy.

7)   While you’re doing #3, get some bloodwork done. If you’re low on iron or vitamin D, or if your hormone levels are doing a rollercoaster,  these can all contribute to zapping your energy or switching your mood.

8)   If you’re in bed and the “insomnia hamsters”, as I like to call them, are on the wheel of your head, watch Nightly Business News on PBS. This has the effect of Nyquil.  Swap out your coffee for herbal tea. If you just cannot sleep, try the next tip….

9)   Learn how to meditate. Start by focusing on your breathing. Not sleep, not thoughts. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Meditation is focusing on being present in your body, not careening around in your brain. It may not be as good as sleep but it will give you some rest and recharge you.

10) Face a window as often as you can – at work, at home. Look out into the world. Watch. Observe. Try to find something you find pretty or interesting to focus on. And, handily remember that one in five of those people out there feel the way you do.

11) Cry. Better out than in. Sometimes it’s not convenient or career-enhancing to cry, so find a private place as best you can and let the tears go. Carry Kleenex and face wipes and extra concealer if you wear makeup. You can always claim allergies.

12)  Any “friend” who resolutely believes that your depression is because you’re lazy, because you’re not trying hard enough, who blames you for not bootstrapping out of it- that friend needs to be cut off. Polite (#2) is one thing, but there is a limit. You don’t have to explain, you can just not respond. You feel badly enough, you don’t need their “assistance”. Please just cut negative people out. No company is way better than bad company

13)  Limit your time with people who drain you. You know who they are. Often you don’t have a choice- but you can put the meter on. And, subsequently, be aware of what you’re asking of those close to you.

14)  Everyone has shit they’ve got to deal with. What you have been saddled with is your shit. Recognize, just as you’re not alone, you’re also not unique. The grass may look greener, you may be jealous or envious of others who don’t have to deal with depression, but you likely do not know everything that’s going on with them. So please keep that in mind. Keep a positive mind and remember that everyone has their own battles going on that they have to handle, in a way thinking this way can really let a lot of weight off your shoulders because it reminds you that there is so much going on in this world than your own mind and its relieving.

15) Let go or be dragged. This is an old Buddhist saying. It’s a very useful way to frame aspects of depression. Betrayal, anger, fear… letting go is a process – often a painful and difficult process - but it’s ultimately going to show you the path out of this terrible place. Repeating the mantra can help when you’re feeling gripped by these feelings.

16)  Wear clothes that make you feel confident. SO IMPORTANT!! It takes as much time to put on nice clothes as it does to put on sweatpants. You will want to wear the sweatpants. Fight the urge. The whole “look good/feel better” campaign isn’t limited to cancer and chemotherapy. Or women. And honestly the more you put into yourself that the world can see the more you will get out of the world. People think its so superficial but think about it this way. Yes do not care what people think, but if people see that you don’t put any work into yourself why should they put into you, you know?

17) Avoid fictional drama and tragedy like the plague. No Grey’s Anatomy, no to The Notebook, or anything that won a Pulitzer prize. You’ve got enough going on In Real Life. Comedy only. Or trashy stuff.

18)  Simple exercise, if you can. It can be something as simple as taking the stairs up a flight, or walking around the block. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, it doesn’t have to involve climbing a mountain or running a marathon. Baby steps. Also if you can get into yoga. So many mental and physical benefits.

19) Depression will lie to you. Depression will try to tell you what others are thinking.  That you are unloved and unworthy, that others think little of you or don’t care – or even wish you harm. You are not a psychic. Keep repeating that. “I am not a psychic”.  Repeat..  Repeat..  Repeat..  Repeat..  Repeat. The only way to know what another person is thinking is to up and ask them.

20) If you are well and truly losing this battle, reach out to someone. I’ve been the random friendly-but-not-close person who has fielded the occasional outreach. I like to think I’m not judgemental and generally resourceful, and others have thought the same, so they called and asked. You know someone like me. And they will help you. You can always come to me if you need to vent or need advice. Thats the great thing about tumblr if you feel like you dont have anywhere else to go. 

21) Forgive yourself.  I’m writing out all these tips, and I can’t always muster the strength to even stick my nose outside, or walk up the stairs, or eat my vegetables. Today, I got outside for ten minutes. I will try again tomorrow. And I will try again the day after that.

This list will not cure you. This list will not flip on the happy switch. God, I wish it were that easy. But steps like this will help and one day hopefully get you out of the funk, and you will be more stronger than ever.

X-Files Fic: What Was Taken, What Was Lost- Chapter Three

Previous Chapters: One | Two

The library, it transpires, is a converted guest room in exactly the same shape as their own, a floor above, complete with its own bathroom and balcony.  But instead of a bed, dresser, and vanity, this room is full of wall-to-wall bookshelves, with a love seat, coffee table, and two wing-back chairs on an Oriental carpet in the center.  The wooden door that divides all of the other hotel rooms is absent here, replaced by a set of handsome glass doors, which are unlocked, though no one is in the library at the moment.

“Is this all hotel history?” Mulder muses, following Scully into the room.  She shakes her head.

“Looks like fiction on this wall,” she says, gesturing to the space between the bathroom door and the corner, where the balcony is located.  Sure enough, Mulder can see some fairly recent releases, surrounded by well-worn paperbacks and older editions of classic works.  He crosses the room, to the expanse of shelving to the right of the balcony.

“Nonfiction over here,” he says.  "Lots of history… lots of books about the history of New York State, in particular.“  He turns around and grins.  "Jackpot,” he says, returning to the wall that holds the door to the hallway.  The books on these shelves are older, less uniform in their sizes.  He and Scully scan them, looking for something helpful.  Mulder’s eyes fall on what looks like a three-ring binder, and he pulls it down, flipping open the cover.

“It’s a scrapbook,” says Scully, as he pages through the assembled photographs and newspaper clippings.  "Of the hotel, when it was a sanitarium.“  Mulder nods, and together, they page through the binder.  There are brochures advertising the sanitarium, though none of them name it as such, or even call it a hospital.  Clearly, the facility had been an exclusive one, a place for the wealthy to rest and recover without the public embarrassment of admitting that they, too, could suffer from the same diseases as the lower orders.  The scrapbook ends with a newspaper article from the local paper, detailing the sale of the building to the Catholic Church in 1931.  Mulder closes the scrapbook and replaces it on the shelf, then reaches for an identical one right next to it, opening it.

"Another scrapbook,” he says.  "From when the place was a home for wayward girls.“

"It’s all very interesting, I’ll give you that, Mulder,” Scully says, stepping back and continuing to scan the books on the shelves, “but I’m not sure what it has to do with our investigation.  Shouldn’t we be trying to get more information from the employees?  Finding out if they’ve seen anything suspicious, if anyone’s been acting strange?”

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BTS reaction- s/o being underweight and asking them for help

anon:Can I request a scenario of the boys’ S/O being extremely underweight and her wanting their help getting her healthy…  If not that is a-okay👌 ((love your account btw💕))      



Originally posted by blackandwhitebangtan

Being underweight and having Jin as a boyfriend could be hard. This boys cooking skills are very good. Jin would notice that you’re underweight and he could try mentioning something which was referring to your weight, but he doesn’t want to hurt you, so he won’t say anything rude or mean. When you would ask him for help to put on weight, Jin would know how to help you. He would be doing a lot of different dishes, slowly adding more food and calories. This could take a lot of time but he was worried about your health and he was happy that you asked him to help you out. Of course he would take you regularly to a doctor to see if his effort is enough and if you don’t need more vitamins or anything else.


Originally posted by ohbaibeeitsyou

Min Yoongi-walking perfection

He doesn’t care about looks. Of course he would notice that you are really skinny but if you don’t mind, why should he? For Yoongi your health was the most important thing. So when you told him that you’re scared about problems with your health due to you being underweight, he would start to worry. He would look out for you in every possible way. Yoongi would try to eat with you 5 meals a day and if he won’t be able to eat with you, Suga would somehow make sure that you ate something. He would convince you to do every health test, to make sure if your health is really good and that you don’t need professional help.  He would put you putting on weight in the first place. When you would successfully put on enough weight, he would be so proud of you and from now on, you will be his model role, that everything is possible if you try enough. He would tell you this and make sure that you won’t lose weight again


Originally posted by jaayhope

To him you’re perfect, so he didn’t even noticed that you’re underweight. When you asked him for help, saying that you being underweight could be dangerous and you needed to take care of your health, for the first few seconds Hobi would be surprised and inspect you, looking for any signs that you’re underweight. When he finally realized how bad the situation was, he would panic and blame himself for not noticing it sooner. After calming down, Hoseok would ask you what he could do for you, he was ready to do everything to make you feel better. Of course he would assure you that you are perfect to him, but your health is always the most important aspect. Hobi would be the most caring boyfriend ever. Spending every free second with you. For you putting on some weight won’t be big deal, but he can exaggerate a little bit.


Originally posted by hopper310

I feel like it would be Namjoon  telling you to take  care about your health, not you asking for his help. He would notice you being underweight and he knew exactly how this could affect someones health. If you asked him for help because you’re worried about your health, he won’t look at anything and take you to a specialist. You being sick is the last thing that Namjoon wanted to see. He would go there with you, he would stay and listen to what the specialist has to say. Jonnie would make sure that you will do everything that he heard that day. If he was on tour or had a busy schedule, he would call you every free minute to remind you about taking your pills or eating meals


Originally posted by jiminspring

We all know that there was a time when Chim lost a lot of weight, making everyone worry. So he would somehow sympathize with this situation. He would be happy to help you and he knew that you were worried about him so you will try to put on weight together. There is a person which is making diets for the members so you two will go to this person asking for personal diet for both of you. Being on this kind of diet together could be more successful than doing it alone. Jimin would tak care of you and tend to your eating, same like you with him. You two would have a lot of fun trying new dishes and share your feelings, how both of you feel slowly putting on weight. Jimin would always tell you how sexy and beautiful you look to make you even more confident and because it was true


Originally posted by toughchim

He would probably notice it before you asked him for help (in my opinion he is a the genius but his character is stronger). So Tae would be secretly (or not) giving you more food than before and ask how you feel everyday, every hour or every minute. When you finally told him that you need to check your health, Tae would freeze and start to be scared. He didn’t think about visiting a doctor and thoughts about you possibly  being sick would kill all nice thoughts. You wanted to say something more, that it’s only your assumption and you only wanted to check yourself, but he already took your hand and you two were sitting in the car driving to the nearest doctor, so you didn’t have time to say anything. Tae won’t stop with only one professional opinion, he would take you to multiple doctors to be sure that everyone was saying the same thing. When he finally had opinions of every doctor in Seoul, Tae would do his best to be the most supportive boyfriend in this world when you started to put on weight.


Originally posted by mayfifolle

Similar to Hobi, he won’t notice. Someone would have to tell him that you are underweight. So when he asked you about this and you told him that this is true and what kind of after effects it could have, he would stare at you and maybe be a little angry that you didn’t tell him faster. Both of you decided that you need to check your health. Jungkook would do it with you, to not feel alone during health tests. He would always ask you what you ate and if he thinks that this isn’t enough, he would order food for you and call your friend, asking if he/she could check if you actually ate it. Sometimes it could irritate you but he would have good intentions. He felt bad because he couldn’t be there with you because of his schedule. Kook would always find time to go with you for check outs to doctor, he wanted hear personally that everything is fine. When you successfully gained weight it would be time for celebration for him and you, Jungkook would take you to the restaurant and you two would eat all night long.

Markhyuck Headcanons
  • If you asked Mark who his favourite dongsaeng is he would probably tell you it’s Chenle or Jisung because they are cute
  • If you ask Haechan who his favourite hyung is he would probably say Doyoungie because he puts up with his playfulness and, despite being 4 years older, is secretly just as immature as Haechan is
  • Their members always expect them to pick each other as the favourite hyung and dongsaeng because Mark and Haechan are inseparable, have always been joined at the hip since trainee and rookie days
  • But, even though in every sense, Mark is hyung by 10 months and 4 days, the two have never seen each other in a hierarchical fashion, but as equals
  • Which drives Mark crazy sometimes because he’s the leader of Dream but it’s hard to enforce his authority as the big brother when the fourth youngest (or fourth oldest, depending on how you want to see it) knows that he functions on the same level as Mark
  • Like when he’s trying to be serious and round up the buzzing, hyperactive group of teenagers but they all ignore him in favour of following the second-in-command Haechan, as he runs around in a whirlwind of energy and noise
  • Or when he’s doing the best he can to sound professional during their little talk shows, and Haechan breaks in with a smartass comment that makes everyone lose their composure and laugh
  • But Mark can’t help but laugh along with Haechan’s dimpled smiles even though he knows he’s failed at looking cool and in control, because he knows Haechan’s words have no bite behind them
  • And it’s a widely known fact among all the NCT members that Haechan has literally zero respect for his Mark hyung
  • Like the time Haechan chased Mark around the 127 dorm, cursing way too much for his age, with a slipper because Mark finished his favourite shampoo
  • And no one bothered to intervene because they’re called the Tom and Jerry duo for a reason, always bickering
  • The chase only ended when Haechan slipped on a shirt some member had left on the floor and bumped his head against the kitchen counter
  • Although Mark had been furthest away, he was the first to run back while shouting ‘Oh my god’ as the other members crowded around to baby their Maknae
  • They made up afterwards when Mark gave him the last chocolate bar from his candy stash

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Say You Won’t Let Go | Calum Hood

Another blurb/one shot thing based on a song I’ve been loving lately. It’s such a lovey dovey fluff song that I could imagine with Calum. So hope you enjoy. Writing this with no plan, no nothing, just straight from my heart.

Calum’s POV

I approached her where she was laying in my tour bus bunk, clothed in black sweatpants, a grey sweatshirt, glasses on and phone in hand. She looked so pure and refreshed. No makeup graced her face, which was incredible considering how caked her face was at tonight’s show. She looked relaxed and unbothered, but also very exhausted. Her being on tour has made me appreciate her more, how she’s always up at the same time as us to catch flights or go help set up for shows, how she’s always the one going on food runs for us if the catering at the venue isn’t good, and how she’s always willing to stay up until the sunrise to talk with any of us. Watching her mindless scroll through her Instagram feed while tucked away underneath my sheets brought a slight smile to my face.

I rested my elbows on the top bunk, and she turned her head to look at me as she locked her phone.

“Hey boy.” She said sleepily.

“Let’s go for a walk yeah?” My head pointed to the tour bus door. She pouted her lips at the, not so smart idea. Currently it was 50 degrees outside and almost 1 in the morning. We both should be getting sleep considering we’d head out for the next venue in about 2 hours.

“You’re crazy Hood. It’s freezing and I’m exhausted.” She turned over on the bed so her back was facing me, and I laughed pulling her sweatshirt back to face me.

“We have a microwave right there. How about you say I make you some hot chocolate with those mini marshmallows you like and we walk and talk like that?” She eyed me suspiciously, but soon agreed and hopped off the bed down to her feet. Her head reached just below my chin, making me chuckle at the noticeable height difference. 

We walked outside into the, what felt like, freezing cold. We could see our breathes dancing through the night air, reminding me of the lonely nights I’d come out and smoke to relieve stress. Since she joined us, I haven’t even picked up a cigarette. Our tour bus was parked in the back of the venue, so her and I decided to walk back to the stage one last time before leaving. There was no cover to the outside stage, showing off the endless night sky. It seemed as if the stars had multiplied twice, bringing in my light. I watched her as she walked onto the platform before me, her shining eyes looking up at the sky. The stars danced on her now red frosted skin, and it somehow made her look more beautiful. We took a seat near the edge, and set down our hot chocolates as we just watched the universe unfold before us.

“Only one more show Calum.” I sighed, not letting my feelings get the best of me. I shrugged back my shoulders, trying to keep a strong composure.

“No. You’re going to see more, I promise.” I couldn’t even stomach to look at her.

“Even with medicine, treatment, and therapy, they don’t know if I’ll even make it. Or how long I’ll last…”

“I don’t believe it. Nothing they say, nothing any professional can say, will make me lose anymore faith.” Her face turned to me, a sad smile playing on her lips. They started quivering, a sign she showed when she was about to let a waterfall burst from her eyes.

“After tomorrow, I’ll be gone for 6 months Calum. Going from medicine bottle to medicine bottle, surgery to surgery, doctor to doctor, doing everything I can to make I do go see your future shows. But, I can’t have you thinking I’m going to be in the crowd one day again.” Her hand came to rest on my shoulder as she moved closer. I kept a straight face looking up at the now what seemed like dark clouds above us. The stars seemed to shine a little less, and I was looking for a sign of any God up there that would answer my question: if she was going to be okay again.

“Hopefully one day, I’ll be able to thank these lucky stars for you being alright.”


“Don’t ‘Calum’ me, I know you’re going to be okay. We’ve come this far, and, look how we’ve grown together. And I can’t wait to live life and be with you when we’re grey and old.” I laugh slightly, making her laugh with me. That beautiful smile, so sad yet so full of love. She wanted to believe everything I was saying, but deep inside, she was preparing for the worst. Preparing for the day when she’d have to say goodbye. She’s preparing for the day she’d only had nightmares about, of someday not being with me. 

“Let’s get back to the bus, we’ve got one more day together and I want to spend every solitary moment of it making you happy.”

I grabbed her hand and slung my arm over her shoulder, huddling her close to my chest. Her cheek rested comfortably there, the feeling of her was like home.

As we got back to the bus, she made herself comfortable on my bunk, choosing the side closest to the wall so she’d have the wall and myself as a barrier. Before falling into a deep sleep, her soft voice my ears up.

“Just say you won’t let go…”

“I won’t ever let you go.”

Check out my two one shots from yesterday! Escape and Art


Pairing:  Emily Prentiss x Reader

Request:  Anon asked:  Hi! Could you please do an Emily Prentiss x reader where they’re inseparable best friends and have feelings for each other and the reader confides in her father Rossi about her feelings and he makes it his mission to set them up?

A/N:  This is cute.  I’m loving all the Emily fluff requests I’ve had!  

If you have requested something and I haven’t posted it yet, just know that I’ve seen it and I will upload it.  I’ve just been a bit down in the dumps lately and my motivation has been shattered, but I’m doing just fine and I promise to get to work!!

Originally posted by romanovaas

“Drinks tonight?” Morgan asked the group as everyone piled into the jet.

“I’m down.  Could use a pick-me-up after a case like that,” Emily was the first to respond.  She sat down on one of the seats, gently brushing past you, her arm grazing yours for a moment.  You felt a shiver run down your body, trying to cover up the obvious reaction her touch had on you by sitting down quickly next to your father, who eyed you suspiciously.

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Control Ch. 4 (NSFW)

And we’re back! After the Choi boys happiness, time to go back to some angst with doses of smut in this chapter. Next one will be out next week! Hope you like it!



You blink slowly as you’re not sure of what you just heard. Did Seven just ask you what should he vote for?

“I don’t think this is correct, Luciel. She just said she abstains from voting, asking her what should be your vote is transferring your vote for her.” Jumin states, finally taking his eyes away from his glass of wine.

“Not really, if I were transferring my vote for her, she would have two votes. She already used her one vote, I’m about to use mine. It’s still my vote, her answer doesn’t affect my decision, by any means.”

“So why do you wanna know my answer?” you ask, getting tired of being the subject like you weren’t here.

“Hmmm… just curious.” He smiles teasingly, what is he thinking? “So… what do you think, MC?”


“What do you think, MC? Should I do something?” he asks, and though you can’t really see him, you know he’s smirking.

You’re still trying to recover your breathing, your chest rises and falls exhilaratingly, you answer, but can’t even listen to yourself.

“I need you to be loud and clear, kitten. What should I do next?” he brushes his fingers through you wet folds, you arch your back, longing for more friction, but he pries his fingers away as suddenly as he brushed them against your clit.

“F-fuck me…” you were so sure your voice would come out whiny, but no, it’s dripping. “Fuck me, Jumin… please…”

“Oh, is my kitten that naughty?” he asks, taking the blindfold off of you. “I asked you a question, are you naughty, MC?”


“Yes what, MC?”

“I’m… I’m naughty. I’m so naughty. This naughty girl needs to be fucked, Jumin. So please… please fuck me.” It’s like you gather your strength when you recover your vision. You look straight at him and spread your legs.

“So eager for me… so demanding… are you demanding me to fuck you, kitten?”

“No, I’m… begging.” Why does he stall so much? You know all the dirty talking is part of the scene, but you’re pretty sure you made yourself very clear about how much you want him to fill you.

“Very well, then. Stay still.” He crawls over you, his lips attack your neck, nipping and sucking harshly, trailing down to the swell of your breasts. Oh no… is he going to…? Ahh, he bites one of you nipples, making you whimper painfully. You hate bites in your nipples, they’re so sensitive! You squirm your arms, even though you know it will be useless, you won’t be able to get rid of the ribbons tying you against the headboard. Ugh… stupid sensitive nipples, why can’t you even enjoy some bites in your breasts without feeling bothered? His teeth find your other nipple… shit! You squirm again, getting rid of the ribbons. Hum… he didn’t tie you properly, maybe you could show him how to do it one day…

“What did you do?”

“I-I’m sorry, It was a little loose already.” Why are you apologizing? He was the one who didn’t tie you right!

“Such a rebel kitten. Be careful, MC, rebel girls get punished.” His hands hold your wrists next to your shoulders. “I hope you’re ready for your punishment.”

He pulls his cock in, making you scream from the suddenness of his movement. He’s usually more careful, slowly pulling in and taking it out if he feels you can’t handle at first. Not this time. His pace is fast, harsh, all you hear is the sound of his thighs crashing against the back of yours. And this look in his eyes… you’ve never seen it before. So unexpected and sexy… and dark, like if he’s hungry and he’ll have to dig deeper in your body to find what will satisfy his hunger. Do you have what he needs to feel satisfied?

“I won’t allow you to cum. That’s your punishment for releasing yourself from the ribbons.”

“J-Jumin… it was not my fault… ahh… I…”

“You have to deal with the consequences of your acts, MC.”

Yes, you really do. Jumin’s words resonate in your head, it wasn’t your fault he didn’t tie you correctly that night, it wasn’t your fault he listened to a private conversation between you and your client, it wasn’t your fault he was never able to express his feelings like a normal person, to the point you were afraid of telling him the truth about being a domme. It wasn’t your fault, and yet… you had to deal with the consequences, being away from your friends and from your duty with RFA, wondering what you could have done differently. Your suffering was a consequence inflicted by Jumin. And you’re tired of suffering.

“I want to leave.” You say firmly, looking at Seven. You wish you could pretend you didn’t hear Zen, Jaehee and Yoosung gasping.

“MC… are you sure?” Jaehee asks.

“I… I am…” at least you’re trying to be. “Let’s face it, how can we plan parties if I stay in a place when two people don’t want me?”

“MC, let me be clear, I never said I didn’t want you here, I…”

“You’re voting for what you think it will be best for your friend, V. I get it. No hard feelings, I swear.” You make sure to look at him and nod, no smiles.

“Well… is that’s what you really want, sweetheart, I…” Zen says.

“I vote for her to stay.” All eyes hover over Seven again.

“What?” you and Jumin ask at the same time. You feel a shiver when you realize your voices coming out in unison like this.

“My vote. I think MC should stay.” Now you gasp, feeling the need to lean your back in the chair’s backrest. Only to realize how close Jumin is standing behind you.

“But Seven, I… I told you I want to…”

“And I told your answer wouldn’t really affect my decision, MC. I’m just thinking what is best for RFA. We just got back to our original purpose when you showed up and the parties you coordinated were even more successful than the ones we threw previously, so… despite of what Jumin, you or V think, RFA needs you.” Who is this guy and what did he do with Seven? He’s so serious, mature and… manipulative, huh? It was almost like he knew your answer before you.

“Well, majority wins.” V states. “2 abstentions, 2 votes against MC staying and 3 pros. MC stays as guests’ coordinator.”

“I’m so glad you’re staying, MC. We’ll make sure you won’t regret it.” Jaehee says when you two are in the bathroom alone. “I… know why you wouldn’t want to stay, but… don’t mind what other people think. You’re a professional and you’re talented, and RFA would lose so much if you let us. So… count on me to make sure nothing will get in your way too much.” You smile sweetly, her ability with words is impressive, “other people” and “nothing getting in your way” mean her boss, Jumin. Ahh, you missed her prudence.

Well… you’re staying. And even though you said you didn’t want to, somehow this doesn’t feel like it’s against your will. Maybe Seven is right, staying would do a greater good than leaving, think of all those people the parties helped with the money gathered, this is nothing compared to Jumin or you… right? Right. So staying is good, and Jaehee is also right, nothing will get in your way! And “nothing” means Jumin.

Okay, but he is literally in your way as you step out of the bathroom. You give a little jump back, scared by seeing this figure looking at you with his arms crossed and an unexpressive face. Well, not really unexpressive, through the months you were together, you became an expert on unraveling Jumin’s expressions even when they all look the same monotone ones. Right now, he’s angry.

“So you’re staying.”

“That’s how democracy works.” You smile ironically and make your way out of the hallway, but  he blocks you with his arm.

“You really don’t know when to stop.”

“No, you don’t know when to stop. You lost, get over it and do your best to keep it professional.”

“Don’t you see the trouble you can bring to RFA? MC, we are a philanthropic organization, we have people constantly in the spotlight here like Zen, V and me. What do you think it will happen when press finds about your… other ‘job’”? yes, he does the air quote with his free hand when he says job.

“Awww, how cute! You’re worried for your friends’ reputation in case they found I’m a… how did you call me? Oh, a whore, yeah… Well, just know this whore has some of the most powerful media men as her clients, and they know how to handle information pretty well, believe me. I’m in this business for a while now, Jumin, and I have some very important people requesting for my services, if people didn’t find out about this before, is because they are discreet. I deal with powerful people pretty well, it won’t be a simpleton director like you that will harm my ‘job’. It’s been like this for a while now, so don’t worry about your precious reputation. People will never know you almost married a whore.”

“You think you have the upper hand right now, but that just confirms how much of a untrusting person you are, are you aware of this?”

“Well, I don’t need your trust. And I don’t need you pretending you care for V or Zen or RFA, you just care about yourself. Your reputation, your feelings, your problems, your pleasure, so stop pretending you’re not the little selfish prick you are and I can at least pretend I respect you as another RFA member, I owe that to them.” You walk to the other side, Jumin grabs your hand.

“I’m not done.” He says, though he’s not sure about that. He is done, there is nothing else he can say. You don’t respect him, he doesn’t trust you. What else could he say right now? Or do?

It’s quick, he grabs your wrist and you immediately stiffen your body, your free hand pushes him against the wall harshly. Jumin lets out a low yelp when his back hit the wall. You place your knee between his legs and press your body against his, immobilizing him.

“Aren’t you? Okay, so what you’re going to do next?” you ask. Jumin is surprised, is like you read his mind. “I’m asking you, Jumin, what are you going to do? Tie my wrists weakly? Hate fuck me again? Go on.” He stays paralyzed, impressed by your strength.

You hold him by his collar when you kiss him in the lips. Your breath is heavy and you make sure to leave a few bruises. Jumin is surprised, not only by your movement, but also by the fact he doesn’t feel like pulling you away, his breathing is heavy too. He was expecting the same roughness from when you pushed him against the glass table before, but no, you trail your lips gently down to his neck, making him sigh lowly as you keep your strength concentrated in your hands keeping him in place.

He wonders if your physical strength is a requirement for your… services. It must be, right? And how did you never show him any of that when you were together? Where did you hide this tornado inside you all the time? Why did you hide it? He still wants answers, but now he can barely move as you palm his length through his pants.

“I like how you’re naive, somehow, you know?” you stop the kisses and reach for his ear. “Did you really think you could corner me against the bathroom and expect I was going to back away just because you want, after a group decision? Ah, Jumin… you’re cute.”

“MC… I…” you grab his bulge, gaining a low moan in response.Your voice is calm and collected, it doesn’t even feel like you’re putting any strength on your grip… well, maybe you aren’t, after all. He’s just weak to you and your touch.

“You think you’re so above everything, Jumin, but you’re not.” He leans his head against your shoulder when you quick the pace in the friction against his length. “See? You’re rock hard for me already even when you said this was a mistake you would never make again. Don’t you think it’s sad? How you can’t keep your word?”

Jumin can’t answer, he doesn’t know how to deal with the tone of your voice, the way your fingers tease him, the look in your eyes… he missed your touch, even if right now it’s not even close to the passionate touch he was used to getting from you.

“But that has to change, right? You need to keep your word. You have to promise me you won’t get in my way of my work here so I don’t get in yours and we can act like the two professional adults we are. Will you promise me, Jumin?”

“I… y-yes…”

“Yes?” you swear you’re feeling something wet in his pants. Cum? No, pre-cum, for sure. “Good, so keep your word from now on.” You let him go and turn your back on him.

“Are you really going to let me like this?” his voice is husky, but you’re not even fazed.

“Well, you have to deal with the consequences of your acts. See you in the messenger, Jumin.”and you walk away.

Okay, just to be clear, you’re not proud of what just happened, by any means. You should not have done that, you could have made him promise to leave you alone with words, that whole scene wasn’t necessary at all! And yet… all you can think of is the kiss and how quickly he melted against you. Who knew Jumin Han could bend that easy? Maybe he changed in these six months? Or did you change to the point you can finally impose yourself? Well… doesn’t matter, just make sure to stay away from him and avoid trouble.

“Hey, wanna a ride?” Seven is leaning against his car when you walk out of the building. Speaking of trouble…

Chapter 3 | Chapter 5 

Things your esthetician/stylist wishes they could tell you...

I’ve worked in a few different salons. I have fond memories of working with strong women, harsh chemicals, and tedious tasks. Don’t get me wrong here- the people working on your hands, feet, faces, hair and body parts LOVE THEIR WORK- but there are a few things that you should know, that will make their lives a little bit easier. Now that I’m not working in the industry, I have nothing to lose by writing, and sharing this with you. I hope that my former coworkers, some of the most amazing people I’ve ever known, will benefit from it. 

If you have a positive experience and like the person who does your service- book your next appointment with her before you leave the salon/spa. I cannot stress this enough. Many of the shifts in the salon industry are given based on appointments booked- so if this awesome stylist/esthetician that you just had doesn’t have pre-booked appointments- she also might not have work. I know you’re busy- and you don’t know what your schedule is going to look like in the next few weeks/months… but by prebooking (you can always change your appointment later) you could be ensuring that your esthetician has a job. Even the greatest, most experienced salon professionals depend on their repeat clients. Plus- you’ll only be able to blame yourself if you don’t pre-book and suddenly you can’t get your christmas-tree nail art done on Christmas eve because the ONLY girl who does nail art is totally booked. BE THE REPEAT GUEST!

If you make an appointment- show up for it. If you can’t make it- call to cancel. Often times, if you don’t show for a 2 hour hair appointment, it means that your stylist loses 2 hours of pay. If you call to cancel, your stylist will likely be able to find someone else to take your spot, and not lose money. I would hate to think that my actions directly impacted someone’s ability to pay their rent, but when you don’t come to your appointment, and you don’t give heads up, that’s exactly what can happen. Not to mention, if you make a habit of it, you could get blacklisted and not be able to get your favorite person to work on you next time. 

These people WILL do their best. You are literally a walking advertisement for these professionals. So, when you ask for something, they will do everything in their power to make it happen. HOWEVER- if you box-dye your hair black, and are expecting to leave the salon as a platinum blonde, you are likely to be disappointed. If you want a beautiful french manicure but you pick at your cuticles and bite your nails, you are likely to be disappointed. If you tweeze your eyebrows between visits, but want to look like Kim Kardashian, you are likely to be educated in the wonders of makeup (and possibly disappointed). 
Realistic expectations aren’t always easy- but they’ll make everybody’s life better. TRUST these stylists when they advise against something, and know that if an esthetician says that a french manicure might not turn out like you hope- she’s going to try her darndest to make it happen anyway.

Body hair needs to be long enough to lay flat, or it won’t get picked up by the wax. HAVING SAID THAT- if you your hair is long enough to curl around your finger… it’s too darn long. Hair that is too long WILL wax but it will hurt about 13,250,000x more than if the hair was the appropriate length. What’s that length? About as long as your pinky fingernail, or the eraser on a pencil. That’s the sweet spot. Too much longer, and it’s gonna hurt significantly more- too much shorter, and the hair won’t lift.  If your esthetican provides you with a wipe or cleansing option- use it. I don’t think I need to explain that one- just be considerate. If you have questions about waxing- ask them. DO NOT TAN! For goodness sake! This might sound like anti-cancer propaganda (but seriously- it’s 2015), but your skin can legitimately lift right off… leaving you AND your esthetican scarred for life. Don’t tweeze between appointments unless advised otherwise. There’s probably lots more- but those are the main ones, I think.

Some people like things to be done ‘Just Right’. Nothing wrong with that, folks. You like your french lines thick? Like your bangs SUPER-blunted? Want light pressure during your massage? GREAT- give your service provider a heads up. They might be great at chit-chat, and remembering how you like your coffee… but they’re not mind readers. They would MUCH rather (I promise) have you give explicit detail as to what you want, then have you ask them to redo their work after completion. I can verify that there is honestly nothing more frustrating than finishing a job to a point where you are satisfied and having your client say- “Oh… those french lines are really thin- could you make them thicker?”
If you notice that something isn’t quite what you like- tell them right away! 

Massage therapists and estheticians especially work in very close, closed-off quarters. If they’re rubbing your face/head/etc and you’re breathing your very thankful, but infected breath all over them… they’re going to get sick. They know it too, as they’re sitting there. You’re breathing through your mouth, or dripping from your nose all over the place- and they’re thinking *I can feel myself getting sick already*. 
They 100% can’t afford to be sick, I promise. So if you’re a walking illness factory- rebook for when you’re feeling better.

Tip with cash. Tip with cash. ALWAYS try to tip with cash! This doesn’t just apply to the salon environment- but every environment. Cash tips are easily accessible, and often can be spared the vigorous taxation process that debit/credit tips go through. Also- try to remember to bring a tip, even if you’re using a gift card. **If you’re not tipping, start tipping**

If you are late, for example, and are booked for a manicure.. and you request a french manicure, with extra glitter and a painting of the statue of liberty on your index finger, and your middle name spelled out in Hebrew on your thumb… your nail tech/esthetician will do their best to make it happen. IF, however, they can’t- it’s probably not their fault. There’s a good chance that she’s already running late for her next client, has had to skip/shorten her lunch, or was done her shift 20 minutes ago. Try hard to be patient and understanding. They will always try to make you happy- but some things just can’t be done.

There’s nothing more flattering than a client referral. Word of mouth is a salon professional’s best advertising. Spread the word. Post pics on instagram/facebook/tumblr… tell the world that YOUR STYLIST/NAIL TECH/MASSAGE THERAPIST/ESTHETICIAN is the best!

If your esthetician nips your cuticle accidentally or doesn’t quite capture the brow shape you want… or your hair stylist just can’t quite match the Jennifer Anniston picture you brought in (she’s probably crying about it in the staff room), it’s totally okay to let front desk know. It’s SO NOT OKAY to give front desk a third-degree about customer service, standards, business, or anything else. The front desk people who work in spas and salons have to deal with SO MUCH MORE than you will likely ever know- so just be patient and kind to them, and it’ll pay off.

If they’re giving you product recommendations, lifestyle tips, food recommendations, service recommendations… listen to them! They want what’s best for you, I SWEAR. If your nail tech says 'hand lotion would really help with your hangnails’- she means it. If your stylist says 'you really should try to come in for a cut more often, it would help your hair to grow longer’- she means it. If your esthetician says 'drink more water and your skin won’t be as flaky’- she means it. If your massage therapist says 'practice some deep breathing and stress relief techniques to help your tense shoulders’- she means it. You see what I’m getting at here? They don’t have a hidden motive. They really just want to see you be the best you can be! Listen to their advice, and ASK for recommendations if you need them.

12.) BE KIND
Okay, last one. This applies to everybody all the time, of course- but I’m speaking specifically about salon/spa professionals here. Think for a moment about the work they’re doing for you. Clipping your toenails because you just haven’t had time? Washing your hair for you and doing that amazing scalp-rub thing? Rubbing the stress-knots out of your butt-cheeks? Try not to drop lines like: “Ugh.. if I had to touch feet, I’d gag.” or “I don’t know you can put your hands on people’s bare skin like that.” or “I could never wash someone’s stinky head.” - That’s actually really insulting. These people have CHOSEN this career path, so respect it. These people do some incredible things for us. Let’s all be nice to them. 

Thanks for reading! Please share with your friends!

anonymous asked:

what are the "symptoms" of dissociating vs derealization?

Hi there,

Dissociation is when a person feels like they are outside of their body. Some people say that it feels like they are watching their life as if it’s a movie because they are detached from their body. Losing chunks of time is also possible with dissociation, but that’s not a symptom that everyone experiences. For those who do experience it, they could lose just a few minutes or sometimes even up to days, weeks, or months.

Derealization is usually described as feeling like your surroundings aren’t real. There’s an article here that describes it as the opposite of deja vu, where surroundings that should feel familiar actually feel foreign. It also says that derealization can make you feel like you’re detached from the environment around you.

If you feel like you might be dealing with either of these, consider seeking professional help. Dissociation and derealization are often signs of mental illness, which can be anything from PTSD, dissociative identity disorder, or even depression, just for example. No matter what might be causing it, it’s important to reach out so you can get the help that you need. We have a page about getting help here if you’d like some information about how to go about asking for help.

In addition to seeking help, there are some grounding techniques that you can use if you’re feeling symptoms. There is a page here that describes some grounding techniques that you can give a try.

Take care!


anonymous asked:

Could i request rfa +v reacting to lingerie model!MC ? please <3

Yes of course.


  • He has a few mixed feelings about your profession.
  • On the one hand are your photos are really ecstatic, but on the other hand everyone sees you like this.
  • He actually has seen them before you even met and was always drawn to them, but he won’t admit that now were you are his love.
  • You are basically naked, not really but naked enough to image thinks, all men are wolves *and he is just as guilty for this as every other guy*
  • He really loves you and doesn’t really mind that you are a professional model, but why does it have to be underwear.
  • You are not ashamed of yourself and you love your pictures, you are a professional.
  • You like to give Zen modeling advice, you even manage to get him to do a photo shoot together.
  • What Zen really enjoys.
  • He can really see how professional you are, and he kinda envies your modeling skills.
  • It makes him feel more at ease with your job, he still sometimes complains over the fact that so many people see you basically naked *yeah but you are half naked on stage just saying*.
  • You usually get him off that argument with posing just for him, and telling him that he is the only one that sees you naked.
  • Or that you always just think about him while flirting with the camera.
  • Both works every time, Zen ever forgets his jealousy when you are like this to him.
  • He definitely makes sure to think only on him while shooting, especially when it’s with other guys.


  • You are not really sure how to tell him what you are actually doing. When you tell him that you are a model, Yoosung images its just for normal outfits.
  • You not really mean to hide it from him but you try to give him the full truth in person rather than over the messenger.
  • But before you even meet someone recognizes your name from an ad *probably Zen*
  • Not that they want to expose you, but the ad looked really nice, so they made you admit that is really you.
  • Yoosung later sees this and finds the ad, he really just wanted to see how you are looking.
  • After seeing it he is a bit confused and shocked.
  • He had this innocent picture from you in his head, but now he has no idea how to feel.
  • Why would you even like him, you are so beautiful, he is sure that there must be tons of other guys that hit on you.
  • When he gathers enough courage to actually ask you about this campaign, he really not feels good when you tell him that it’s true and that you are a lingerie model.
  • You are more afraid that you lose him, you tell him that it’s okay if he stops liking you now even when that would make you really sad.
  • For Yoosung it is not a reason to stop liking you, it’s just kinda hard to swallow.
  • To you it’s just a job, nothing else.
  • You are really professional and in private you are loyal to your partner.
  • Yoosung really tries to understand that, and when you meet, he can see how different you are compared to your photos.
  • Without all that makeup and in normal clothes you are actually really cute to him.
  • He finds that he likes your everyday look much more than the
  • Pictures of you.
  • One time one of his classmates recognizes you, only to realize that the woman from those Ads could never be Yoosung’s someone.
  • Yoosung keeps that to himself, it’s awkward enough when they have a picture of you in their locker.
  • Sometimes it’s a bit frustrating to him, but you ever manage to make him better somehow.
  • You cook for him a romantic dinner, or do something really cute to show him how much you love him.


  • She is surprised that you are a lingerie model, but she can see how professional your pictures are looking.
  • Jaehee finds herself looking at them for hours, just out of curiosity of course *just pretend that Jaehee*
  • She finds herself really interested in your work, and she can see that you work really hard.
  • Jaehee admires your hard work, you treat her to some exclusive pictures of you, just for her.
  • Jaehee feels really special for that.
  • She supports your carrier 100 %, she often laments how no one takes your hard work serious, you are such a role model to her.
  • If she finds that your agency mistreats you she will tell them what she thinks, and just makes her own talent agency with you and Zen *that be an au right here*.
  • She loves your pictures and buys every magazine you are in, she is your biggest fan and supporter.
  • You really love her for all the support and you ever try your best to pay her back.
  • Like with a nice massage or some special sexy lingerie that you would only wear for her.


  • To him it’s a profession like many others, yes you are not really dressed in your photos, but they are still very classy.
  • Since you model for a really high-class brand.
  • Jumin can see that you are a Professional, even when he thinks that you could model for normal outfits just as good.
  • He personally would prefer that *or you not model at all since only he should see you sexy*.
  • You tell him that you worked really hard to become a lingerie model and that you are proud of your job.
  • Jumin respects that, so he supports your carrier.
  • He makes sure to check the whole crew when you work, he makes sure that you get only the best people to make pictures of you.
  • Jumin also makes sure that they only give you classy lingerie.
  • If anyone makes bad comments about your profession Jumin never accepts that, he has seen your photo shoots, and he has seen how much you do for your work, you are really good and not deserve anyone talks like this about you.


  • He not minds your job.
  • He finds you beautiful anyways this just proofs his point.
  • He looks up the pictures you have taken so far, he is impressed and kinda turned on.
  • He asks you for posing advice to make his own pictures even better.
  • He uses this to make his own lingerie pictures, to the dismay of the other RFA members.
  • He enjoys posing for you too, you might show a good chunk of yourself to the world, but he only poses for you.
  • There are always just good comments about you on the internet, anything negative just kinda vanishes.
  • He also likes to get all the make-up tips from you.
  • He is really supportive of you, even when he can only cheer for you from the shadows.
  • He often asks if you could do some sexy poses for him, gets him every time even if you wear pajamas.


*He can see in this one*

  • He loves ecstatic pictures, he mostly just takes pictures of nature.
  • But he enjoys seeing good pictures from other people as well.
  • And your pictures look really professional.
  • He really appreciates the hard work you do.
  • It makes him sometimes a bit jealous that everyone can see you like this, but he would never tell you that.
  • You can tell it’s sometimes hard for him.
  • You make more than clear that it’s only your job, and you always show him that you only love him.
  • V knows that you only love him, and he likes it if you take him to the photo shoots and secretly flirt with him the entire time.

Take a look at my Masterlist my requests are open so drop by !

Monsta X Reactions: S/O being allergic to something

Thank you so much for your request anon! I tried to relate this particular request to the type of allergic reactions I have and hopefully it turned out well. I did have to research a bit about the common types of allergies in the world today… Allergic reactions are such a pain and I hate them so much. Honestly, why are allergies a thing? Anyways, I hope you enjoy! - Iman ♡

PS: I have so much respect to writers who do reaction writings because damn, finding the right gif that explains that particular member’s reaction is hard af… Finding Kihyun’s gif reaction was hard but freaking hilarious; it consisted of either fluffy/cocky Kihyun or “I’m so done with this world” Kihyun 😂 Anyways, enjoy!

Shownu: (Asthma: Dust allergic reaction) Shownu would be really worried and scared on the inside when he saw you fall to the ground and started wheezing uncontrollably. He’d never seen you in this state because he didn’t know about your asthma problems. Even though he was very scared and timid, he remained calm on the exterior and tried to calm you down because he was worried about his baby. He went through the normal procedures; kept you calm, helped you sit up in an upright position and tried to eliminate the trigger. He was fairly relieved when you came down from your asthma attack. He asked you if these attacks happened often and he was hurt to find out it happens often when he’s not around to help. “Babygirl, why did you tell me about your asthma problem. It hurt me to see in that state. Next time tell me so that I can be there for you because you can go through such painful times alone, okay? I’m here for you and I always will.”

Wonho: I see Wonho as the type to freak out when he sees anyone with an allergic reaction. He goes mental when he saw you wheezing with watery eyes. He wasn’t sure what was happening at that moment because he was honestly so shocked at his s/o’s state. However, he knew that you needed him and he tried everything in his power and knowledge to help your weak frame. As much as he wanted to help you he was scared that something would go horribly wrong so instead he called the ambulance because he thought professional help was the key to helping someone experiencing anaphylaxis. The 911 operator told Wonho the types of procedures that he had to go through while the ambulance was making its way your shared apartment; he did it hesitantly but you assured him that everything was going to be okay. Finally after a bit, professional help arrived and put you two to ease. Wonho was still a bit traumatised after the whole incident but at least he knew what to do the next time you had an allergic reaction.

Originally posted by monbebeici

Minhyuk: This ball of sunshine would pick you up, put you in the passenger seat of your car and drive you straight the the hospital after coming home from the dance studio and seeing you kneel on the ground in pain. Doing the drive to the hospital; he’d take short cuts in order for you guys to arrive there quicker, he’d quickly glance at your state to make sure you haven’t passed out or anything, he’d either place his free hand on your thigh or held your hands for reassurance and support. Once you arrived at the hospital, he get out of the car and rushed to the passenger seat and bridal carried you to the A&ED (Accident and emergency department). When the doctors were checking your vulnerable state and made sure your allergic reaction trigger was eliminated, Minhyuk was by your side and held your hand to support you. After the whole incident happened and Minhyuk drove you guys home, you thanked the gods for sending a sweet gentleman into your life.

Originally posted by monbaobao

Kihyun: (Animal: Dog allergic reaction) Kihyun being the mother of group, he knows how to help his s/o with her/his allergic reaction… You made your way to the studio to give Kihyun and his members packed lunch because they deserved a break from their harsh dance practices and they needed to eat because it was unhealthy to skip meals. However when you arrived to the studio (before you even opened the doors to their dance studio), you started to have a sneezing fit. You were confused to why you had a sneezing fit because it usually happened when you were around dogs. Yes, you had a dog allergy. When you opened the doors, you finally understood why. There they were; Monsta X running around with support dogs. You left the lunch packs at the side of the doors and left the room because you had already started sneezing uncontrollably, having a rapid pulse and had watery and bloodshot eyes. All the members were confused because they’ve never seen you act that way but when they exited the room, they were left in shock. Kihyun made his way to you and asked what was going on because he has never seen you in that state. You explain your whole allergic reaction experiences to him. He looked back at his members and asked them to find the managers and bring the pills (the manager had everything including pills for an allergic reaction). All the members ran out of the room in chaos to help their friend out. While chaos was occurring in the Starship building, Kihyun was there to help you out with your allergic reaction. After everything calmed down, you thanked all the members for their sweet gestures and help. They all smiled and left the room to you and Kihyun; “Hahaha, well that was a new experience. I was going to buy us a dog for our 2nd anniversary but let’s say that won’t be happening in the years to come. But we can buy a little goldfish instead. Remember I’ll be here when you have any problems and allergic reactions.”

Hyungwon: Hyungwon would wake up from his sleep when he heard you wheeze in pain right beside his ear. He woke up unsure what was happening to you and asked you what was happening. You told him that you were experiencing an allergic reaction to some type of unexpected allergen found in the room. You told him to call 911 because you knew that you were in a mild allergic reaction which needed professional help. After he dialed 911, he searched up the web about your allergy and how to help a person dealing with your type of allergic reaction. You’d expect Hyungwon to be in a woozy state and have a few mistake here and there but no, he woke up sharp and ready and went through all the procedures in a clear and calm manner. However, he was a bit disappointed that he didn’t know about your allergies beforehand; “Y/N, you should have told me about your allergies before this… I know that most of my days I’d be in bed sleeping but you don’t know that I’d wake up ready to help you with your allergies. You can’t do this alone. I’ll always be here for you.”  

Jooheon: (Peanut allergic reaction) Jooheon, the rapper with a serious/killer vibe has a mini heart attack when he sees you coughing out your food and grabbing your throat in pain. That night Jooheon brought you to a new restaurant that opened near his studio. You guys talked about your day and had a couple laughs here and there when you were waiting for you orders to arrive at your table. Things were doing great till you took a bite out of your meal, you very fairly confused to why peanuts were hidden in such a dish because that never happens but it did. You were coughing in pain and asked Jooheon to get the pills in your bag and a glass of water from the waiters. Jooheon was shaking and yelling at the waiters to bring a glass of water to your table. He’s heard for peanut allergies but never saw anyone with such reaction. He was fairly scared because he has heard from people that peanut allergic reactions could lead to death and he did not want to lose you at all. He helped you in every way possible; making you drink your pills, called for professional help and so on. Ever since that day, he has been taking caution and made sure that every meal that was in front of you did not have a single peck of peanut.

IM: Changkyun takes your allergic reaction in a mature and calm manner. He knew if he freak out in front of you, it would cause you to freak out as well which would trigger your allergic reaction even more. So when he first saw you tremble in pain; he placed you up and placed you on the bed. He made his way to the kitchen and went through his pile of medicine and got his hands on the medicine that would help your allergic reaction, he then got a cold water bottle from the fridge and finally, went to the living room to get your plush toy and blanket knowing it would come you down. He finally made his way to your shared bedroom and assisted you through your allergic reaction. You thanked him for dealing with your reaction in a calm manner as it help you quickly recover from your traumatic experiences.

There it is! My second reaction/scenario writing. This one however was based off a request from a sweet anon. My ask box is opened for any request, I’ll try to write and publish the writings the same day the requests are sent in. Thank you so much everyone for your love and support. I deeply appreciate it all ♡ - Iman