you eat a ton

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 2

We did it amigos. Another list! I am so grateful that you all are sharing your ideas to help inspire others (faith in humanity restored)

  1. “Where is my fucking pudding?!”
  2. “I thought we agreed to never use butter for that reason again…”
  3. “Well if it’s the guy who never shuts up about toilet paper!”
  4. “Honey, did you see my sniper rifle?”
  5. “Oops…”
  6. “God damn it he died. Whatever. Just leave him there.”
  7. “Listen, I know you’re upset, but please put down the baking soda before someone gets hurt.”
  8. “Look, about the monkey…”
  9. “I don’t understand! I only used a finger.”
  10. “It’s not as hard as you think, I promise.”
  11. “well this is what i call hell of a night”
  12. “How could an entire school disappear?”
  13. “What do you mean the brownies are "not quite brownies”?“
  14. "Yes, I understand that its cool, but why does your toaster have wings?” “Well its alive of course. It flies.”
  15. “Don’t turn that on!”
  16. “Wait…I’m also- technically- underage and you’re a stranger…should I be screaming also?”
  17. “I though you meant "literally” metaphorically. “
  18. "Ok so don’t get mad but I might have started a war.”
  19. “Good morning… I see the assassins failed again.”
  20. “You’re a murderer, how are you working at a hospital?”
  21. “That cat just stole my cereal!”
  22. “Did you see that? Please tell me you saw it.”
  23. “Hey, can you stop shooting people right now? We’re trying to sleep.”
  24. “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS KEITH!”
  25. “If you think I’m leaving you and your demon eyes and evil horns you’re wrong.”
  26. “What do you mean, this isn’t Earth?”
  27. “Damn it, ____! Not peanuts again!”
  28. “Why did I just press the big red button?”
  29. “So tell me again why this dead body is being sent to Goodwill?”
  30. “Lucifer, I know that we said we would share rent but you never said anything about your brother living with us.”
  31. “God dammit, I’m supposed to be a bat! Why the hell am I a possum, Karen?!”
  32. “Sarah, where’s the dog?” “Up in space?”
  33. “You had only one job and it wasn’t even a difficult task, but seriously, how did you end up like this!?”
  34. “Well I never said I WASN’T going to kill the bartender …”
  35. “I mean, it was only a small eldritch being, so it wasn’t that bad…”
  36. “Hold me back bro!”
  37. “I think there’s a new lifeform evolving in my fridge.”
  38. “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
  39. “Can we have lunch now, or do you still want to continue looking at dead people?”
  40. “I can’t believe you ate my cheese…we’re over”
  41. “Sometimes I wonder why we’re still friends.” “Because I turned you into a cyborg after being shredded by an explosion and you owe me.” “…Fair enough.”
  42. “Well, I didn’t quite expect to wake up pregnant either and yet… here we are, so can you please pass me that can of bread?”
  43. “Ok, I know I said ‘You can throw a hairbrush at them’, but I didn’t actually mean it!”
  44. “When I told you to feed the dog I didn’t expect you to feed him the neighbors cat.”
  45. “Clearly, you’ve never gotten rid of a body before…”
  46. “This sort of thing never happened when I was dating your brother.”
  47. Sometimes, I wonder about you. And then I worry.“
  48. ” Wait, wait, wait, start from the very beginning. how did you manage to set the house on fire with that??“
  49. "For fucks sake, dude, how many times do I have to tell you that that’s not what penises are for?”
  50. “One woman’s terrorist is another woman’s freedom fighter.”
  51. “This isn’t right… the humans shouldn’t be able to move on their own.”
  52. “Why is unicorn blood on our shopping list?”
  53. “Must you unhinge your jaw like that when you eat? It’s disgusting.”
  54. “You’ve violated the law, my trust, and your friend. Tell me, why should I believe anything you say?”
  55. “No, no don’t open the fridge, I need to keep they eyeballs cold.”
  56. “did he break his jaw again by falling down a flight of stairs?” “Passive aggressive much?”
  57. “For the last time, put the declaration of independence back!”
  58. "That isn’t permanent, right?”
  59. “You know, ripping someone’s beating heart right out of their chest with your bare hand looks cool in anime, but irl it’s just unsanitary…”
  60. “She didn’t tell you” “Tell me what” “He’s dead”
  61. “But his dad is an asshole–” “HIS AUTHOR IS AN ASSHOLE”
  62. “You are here and you haven’t tried to kill me yet. You must want something from me.”
  63. “The salesperson made a flying tentacle monster sound a lot more alluring, I swear!”
  64. “Okay…the radiator just growled at me”
  65. “Dude, were you listening to me? Why are you barking?” “I’m not barking. I thought YOU were barking!”
  66. “How did you get that bump on your lip”
  67. “Buddy. You need to chill, and put that knife away before I get out my gun.”
  68. “ ” I dare you to take your shirt off" “ no” “ I doubledare you” “No” “I tripledare you” “ god dammit Steve , im not wearing a Shirt!”“
  69. "Why the fuck are there founding fathers in our living room”
  70. “Girls only say 'I will not dignify that with a response.’ when they’ve done the thing you’ve just accused them of.” “Do you know this, because you’ve done it?” “I will not dignify that with a response.”
  71. “They think we’re terrible but really we’re only mediocre”
  72. “You’d think by now we’d stop bringing death into these things. Look at them, they have anxiety!”
  73. “Ok, first of all asshat, stop touching me. Second, that is never going to work out! Third, stop TOUCHING me.”
  74. “So if I do understand, you’re telling me that you created insects robots. The same one that destroyed the city. ”
  75. “Why is THIS in your fridge? This is some serious contraband.”
  76. “Please tell me you’re joking about marrying the bastard’s son we call Satan.” “ Don’t talk about your mother like that!!”
  77. “Did you explode the microwave again?!”
  78. "Honey where’s the dog?” “Like I said, I’m making a smoothie.”
  79. “Fifteen bucks you can’t hook up with Satan.” “Make it twenty.”
  80. “I don’t know, maybe because he has some semblance of taste?
  81. "What could possibly make you think eating three tons of cheese for the mice in radiation-test labs was okay?!”
  82. “Who actually let the dogs out?”
  83. “Hey, you don’t know how many bodies are buried in my backyard.”
  84. “I told you to kill me.” “I did. Just this morning.” “Well, shit!”
  85. “So… This isn’t the end, is it? I mean I still want to hang out with you at least. Maybe go for another space adventure, hm?”
  86. “I’m sorry, it was the HEAT OF THE MOMENT,”
  87. "Hey, wanna go out for a romantic moonlight killing spree?”
  88. “So, you’re into …..? Huh, I never would’ve known.”
  89. “Did you hear that scream?” “Yes, I’m the one who screamed”
  90. “What are you doing?”
  91. “But really, why would anyone need two dozen armadillos?”
  92. “You can’t keep 'solving’ your problems by going to another dimension!”
  93. “I still can’t believe you assassinated a unicorn.”
  94. “Wait, you have FOUR knives?” “No, no. I have four knives ON me.”
  95. “I’ve killed a man using only a copy of Hamlet and a computer mouse. I am NOT afraid of you!" 
  96. "What the hell are those?”
  97. “Are you sure you’re not an arsonist?”
  98. “I know, right? You’d suspect any of them of secretly being an alien, but not…”
  99. “Why didn’t you stop?”
  100. “So, start explaining why there are dozens of puppies in my guest room.”

Let’s make another list. Part 3! Leave a reply and don’t forget the double quotes “”. I want to give everyone a chance to contribute to our community. So as always, one prompt per amigo. Dankje! 

Every OJST Comic
  • Erika Moen, buried neck deep in the ground: Hey, guys. Today we have a special guest comic from the guy who lives in the sewage pipe behind my house. Hopefully this one doesn't get too FILTHY for you.
  • Some Guy: Gee, it sure is boring around here.
  • Dirt Monger: *poofs out of nowhere*
  • Some Guy: Who are you!!!????
  • Dirt Monger: I'm the dirt monger and I love eating dirt for sexual pleasure.
  • Some Guy: You mean shoveling tons of dirt into your mouth!!!!!?????????????????
  • Dirt Monger: Yes, it's a completely valid normal way of exploring your kinky identity.
  • Some Guy: But, isn't eating dirt SUPER UNHEALTHY.
  • Dirt Monger: Not at all if you follow SAFE DIRT PROTOCOLS. Always make sure to wear dental dam while consuming dirt sexually and to never actually swallow dirt because you don't want that shit in your stomach. Set up code phrases with your partner like "More Dirt" and "Not Enough Dirt" if you don't think you're getting your fair share of dirt shoveled directly into your stupid fucking face.
  • Some Guy: Wow, I'm so turned on right now.
  • Dirt Monger: That's the spirit. Consuming dirt like a human backhoe is a great way to bond with your partner and discover more about yourself as well.
  • Some Guy: I can't wait to eat dirt like the disgusting troglodyte that I am. Actually, can we mud too?
  • Dirt Monger: No, you dumbass! Dirt and mud are completely unrelated things! I'm the dirt monger, not the mud monger! Do you think I'm stupid?
  • Some Guy: Jeez, sorry I asked.
  • Dirt Monger: Hahaha! One more thing, eating dirt has a direct connection to several radical far-right subcultures. Googling dirt eating may take you down a dark path. I just want everyone to know that they do not represent the whole of the dirt eating community. You can practice the sexual consumption of dirt without turning into a nazi. We completely and entirely disavow fascist dirt eaters. THANKS FOR READING.

i still think that the most german thing is not beer or brezeln, in my opinion its asparagus time because in which other country do you have like 80million people eating tons of aspargus nonstop, without ever taking a break for weeks on end. like we literally celebrate asparagus season with meeting up to eat our beloved Spargel and Spargel only.. and Idk but if thats not the most german thing than i dont know what it

Anon: So why doesn’t anyone mention the fact that Jimin and Hobi’s short films for Wings are connected? Like??

How to Successfully Adopt a Lifestyle Change

Not a diet. Diet implies temporary, and what we need to do is form a set of new, sustainable habits for the rest of our life.

A lot of you probably have a daydream of taking a black, billowy trash bag and planning a SWAT-style assault on your fridge and cupboards and then setting fire to the dumpster you hurl it into. Naturally, you’ll dash over to the grocery store and purchase a ton of strange-looking foods you don’t regularly eat, or never eat! Then you’ll slap on a pair of shiny new shoes and go run a 5K. This works for–some people. Honestly, few people.

The reality for many people; however, is they get off their foray after a few weeks. Why is that?

Think about it. How long did it take you to really get into the groove of your current habits? Months? Years? If you’re trying to simultaneously kiss soda and chip’s ass good-bye, change every bite of food you eat, and start a fitness routine. Guess what? Stress, stress, stress! Your stomach was used to those portion sizes (whether too large or too small) and some of your favorite snacks, your brain is literally addicted to it. A lot of people will reach nuclear meltdown levels trying to transition to a healthy lifestyle this way.

Just like it took you time to form your current habits, it’s going to take some time to form your new habits. I truly do empathize with the feelings of wanting everything to be different right now, but realistically we can only handle a certain amount of stressors and change at one time.

Start With Nutrition Habits: While I really would recommend finding a few cheeky ways to get more active, you’ve probably heard some variant of “can’t outrun your fork,” or “it’s 80% nutrition.” Well, it really is true. Being more active is absolutely crucial to improving overall health in the “endgame,”  but we’re still playing the “tutorial” and the dietary aspects of our lifestyle change are the bulk of the impact. It goes beyond that, though. I’ve written more about it here, but being a beginner can be genuinely hard at times!  It takes a lot of time and effort to get oneself to a point where they can physically and mentally handle what entails “regular, moderate exercise.” One part of making that transition easier will be better nutrition and hydration.

Start With an Easy Target: I always tell people if they drink a lot of soda, juice, or sweetened tea/coffee to start here. Sugar provides us pretty much no nutrition and removing the pulp from fruit makes juice not that great for us, either. Drinking more water is not negotiable and replacing these beverages with water will do a surprising amount of good for how you feel–all by itself. I recognize how hard this one can be to kick, but sweetened beverages really do load many people’s lifestyles with a lot of bad juju.

If you don’t have a beverage problem, maybe you do have a condiment/dressing problem and can reduce the quantities and find alternatives. Maybe you party-hardy a little too much and need to cut down on alcohol. While I said “easy target,” no one said it would be that easy, but you probably have an idea where most of these so called “empty” nutrients are coming from.

Transition Bad Habits a Few at a Time: The opening of this probably already made it clear, but Rome wasn’t built in a day. You probably have an idea of what some of your most problematic habits are, so choose one; maybe two, and see how you adjust over a week or two before considering the next step.

Small Swaps: Start switching out various items in your pantries, fridges, and lunchboxes with simple alternatives. Change white breads, rices, and pastas to brown. Take the bag of chips from your lunch and turn it into a few servings of seasonal fruit and vegetables. Pick out a leaner cut of meat and use a little less dairy, if you eat them. Little changes can have massive results.

Learn Moderation: Remember that whole sustainable part at the very beginning? Our lifestyles do need to reflect our real lives. Well, my real life has a love of chocolates, pastries, and candies. So, it’s not realistic for me to say “no chocolate, pastries, or candies.” Food molarity can be a pretty toxic outlook on eating and life in general. Instead of labeling foods as “bad,” just learn and respect the limits. There are times where you have to say, “enough, is enough,” but living in a constant state of “no” is not realistic or mentally healthy for most people. It’s OK to love indulgent food. Think about how long your life is going to be. So, now think about how dinky an occasional treat will be in retrospect.

Depending on Your Struggles, Consider Therapy: As we know, many aspects of unhealthy eating habits are actually unhealthy mental habits. Depending on the severity and exact nature of those problems, never be embarrassed to seek professional help. I struggled with stress eating and even binge eating for most of my adolescence, and finally getting help for my anxiety disorder played a pretty crucial role in improving both my physical and mental health. If it’s not a possibility at this time, consider journaling.

Walk Before Your Run: Literally and figuratively. I’m going to recommend this previous post I recently wrote again, but when you’ve gotten a few habits cracked and feel like you’re ready to start amping up your activity, start with low impact and low equipment exercises. If it has been years, or if you’ve never exercised, it takes some easing into it. I recommend walking to all beginners because we already know how to do it, have what we need to do it, and probably won’t hurt ourselves.

So, there you have it. Tackle small challenges and get your body acclimated to them before you consider some of the overarching and holistic goals you have for your lifestyle. That said, we’re all different. If you still want to try and do that 180-flip, I can’t stop you and some people are successful that way. No two people or personality types have the exact same problems or strategy for overcoming them. However, if you’ve gotten frustrated and thrown in the towel a time or two, consider the scope of change and how to realistically implement it over a period of time.  We didn’t form our old habits overnight.

Happy birthday @keilattes!! You don’t know me but I love you and zeph throwing memes at each other, and since one of your followers basically encouraged sending you phone drawings for your bday, I thought I’d do that too (although I’m not an artist and haven’t actually drawn anything in years). Anyway, enough stupid babbling, I just wanted to wish you the best birthday ever and express my love for your art~

Netflix - Smut

Originally posted by alfatwolf

Author: @dumbass-stilinski
Rating: NSFW 18+
Pairing: Stiles Stilinski/Reader
Words: 2,997
Request: Can you plz do a imagine where Stiles and the reader have a Netflix and chill date? Oh, and smut if you would like to add it. -bye I love your writing! ❤ 
AN: Sorry this took so long! I’ve been distracted lately. Also I didn’t edit this very well so excuse my mistakes. xoxoxox Thanks to @toppunks for looking at this for me.


Kira slammed her locker door, raising an eyebrow at you. “You’re not coming to the party?”

You shook your head, your arms tightening around the books you were holding. “Nah. I’m not in the party mood.”

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that Stiles isn’t going either, would it?” Lydia asked from beside you, a knowing look on her pretty face.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “No. What Stiles Stilinski chooses to do does not dictate my every decision.”

“You could have fooled me.” Malia deadpanned.

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Something for artists!

So I know art block can be as bad as eating a handful of Needles sometimes so let’s give you a shit ton of ideas I’m going to come up with:
1). Make a villain that would be your antagonist.
2). Make a simple shape, like a square, and stylize it with eyes and teeth etc.
3). Make a hero/heroine that is you, or who you want to be
4). Vent art is always good.
5). A nightmare you had as a child!
6). Whatever in the world would be the scariest hint to you!
7). Your own set of deities.
8). Your Image or images of an angel.
9). Your image or images of a devil.
10). A demon that isn’t fiery.
11). Someone else’s character with their permission of course! And remember to give credit!
12). Something you don’t like to draw!
13). Your favorite character.
14). Your favorite character as something else, like a log cabin or a bear made out of leather.
15). Your favorite season! The embodiment of it!
16). Someone who has affected you greatly, in a positive or negative way.
17). A fusion of two + animals!
18). Find images of bones and draw the flesh onto them!
19). Your favorite feature!
20). Your own character for a video game, TV show, movie, etc!
21). A character with an object for a body part!
22). A feeling.
23). If you draw realistically try an abstraction, if you draw abstractly try realism, if you do both, sway to one side for a day.
24). Draw your mind.
25). Ask for some requests from friends!
26). Pick 3 words from the dictionary and draw the result!
27). Go outside, pick 3 things, draw the fusion. (I may do this myself!)
28). A ghost.
29). A movie monster!
30). An old friend.
31). A gone friend.
32). Clothing!
33). Animals, just pick one and go!
34). Something boring!
35). Try to fill a page!
36). Try with your non dominant hand, and if you’re ambidextrous use your foot.
37). Try a new medium! Like paint, sculpture something!
38). Stop trying and go for a walk then come back and try again!
39). Your favorite food.
40). Your favorite foods favorite food.
41). A pun, like a visual pun.
42). Something silly!
43). Play a song and draw the song.
45). Aliens.
46). Make a paper airplane
47). Draw fire, water, or any other element.
48). Research a culture and try drawing in their style.
49). A myth or a legend you know!
50). Make a comic (this one is hard trust me).
51). Draw the back of your head without looking.
52). Draw a butt.
53). A pile of something, like feet.
54). Gore
55). Something a child would like.
56). Something controversial.
57). Propaganda.
58). Your future home.
59). Your future.
60). An imaginary friend you had or still have.
61). Your favorite toys come to life.
62). Someone with every characteristic you like.
63). Your pets.
64). An eye.
65). Try drawing in a new style!
66). Open a magazine and draw what you see!
67). Draw on the magazine!
68). Draw an album cover.
69). Something romantic.
70). Something really really old.
71). Draw something or someone you’re passionate about!
72). Draw a character inspired by someone.
73). Find a word in another language and draw it!
74). A thank you card to someone who deserves it.
75). Your favorite place.
76). Draw somewhere on your room where no one will see it.
77). Draw your deepest secret.
78). Draw a vehicle!
79). Draw something you’re looking or not looking forward to!
80). Draw a shell.
81). Draw life.
82). Draw death.
83). Draw a ship if you want to.
84). Draw what you want most.
85). Use something like juice for paint!
86). Make a fairy home! Then draw it with a fairy inside!
87). One of my favorites, make a boat out of stuff you find on the ground and see if it floats! Then draw it!
88). Draw your house. Or just where you sleep.
89). Draw something you want changed in this world.
90). Draw something innocent.
91). Draw the 7 deadly sins or something like that, like the 3 laws of _____ or whatever!
92). Draw your oc doing something good and bad. If you don’t have an oc pick whatever!
93). Draw a character from something you don’t know about!
94). Draw a world.
95). Draw some artifacts.
96). Draw the person you love most.
97). Draw the person you hate most as beautifully as you can and then as horrifyingly as you can.
98). Draw the sky.
99). Just scribble.
100). Redraw an old drawing!

As people repost this feel free to add your own to the list! I’m sure people will be happy to get as many ideas as they can! I hope this helped and keep making art!

Full Benefits

Full Benefits

Word count: 5.6k

Genre: smut, angst, fluffy ending (?)


You and Namjoon had a special relationship, you mean there were plenty of people who had ‘friends with benefits’ relationship. Then again yours was still a little different because you two were close friends before and still were close friends. You spent most days together, not always have to do anything sexual.

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Preferences: When You Eat Too Much

Requested by @msdooos. I hope this is what you were looking for :)

A/N: If you’re like me and eat a ton and then regret it later, this is the preference for you, my friend! This is a fun, cute set of preferences :)

Remember, preference requests are open! I love writing them, so send ‘em in!!


Dean:

Originally posted by somerand0mgirl

You and Dean had one thing in common- you both really enjoyed good food. So, when you two manage to find the diner with the best burgers in the entire country, you accidentally overstuff yourself. Dean, with his iron stomach, laughs at your groaning figure and growling stomach at first. But, later, he cuddles up with you and gently rubs your stomach with his calloused hands.


Sam:

Originally posted by veryamooseing

(I’m sorry I love this gif too much to not put it in here)

As you moan with a terrible stomach ache, Sam comes in and scolds you about your unhealthy consumption of ice cream. You both know you’re lactose intolerant, but nevertheless, you still chose to eat the tasty treat. When Sam’s done chastising you, he brings you some antacids and offers to massage your stomach until you feel better.


Cas:

Originally posted by soicopathwinchester

Cas never really understood why humans enjoy eating. He especially didn’t understand why you ate so much that you made yourself sick. Nonetheless, he still offers his grace to cure your terrible belly ache. When you tell him to save it for something more important, Cas instead offers to rub your stomach for as long as it takes for the ache to go away.


TFW Tag List~ @prob8850 @skybinx-blog @torn-and-frayed @its-my-perky-nipples @trinityjadec @poemwriter98 @assbutt-jones-at-law @kalifosterxx @jensensjaredsandmishaslover @deanscherrypie @deandoesthingstome @kittenofdoomage@deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @supernatural-jackles @donnaintx@aprofoundbondwithdean @umaakomton @danamarie2123-blog @mogaruke @kickasscas67 @sandlee44 @infatuatedniall@wildfirekhaleesi@fairytalesexistxx @imnotalosechester @msgrungie @geminalupus@felelotlen-felhotlen @2wonderinsighlents@eternallyademon @bananakid42  @tom-is-in-my-tardis @27bmm@queenindecisive @jxackles@infatuatedniall @sisterwinchesterwriter @mamabear82nd@raylin19

What You Can’t Have

Summary: You always want what you can’t have: You want Seokjin, Yoongi wants Yoora and the only seemingly happy couple is the wanted themselves. Until you and Yoongi get drunk one night and fall into a relationship that neither of you wanted or planned. The only problem is, could either of you move on from your first loves to fall again?


From this anon’s request!!  “ Can I request a YOONGI ANGST where you are in love with Jin but Jin has a girlfriend and YOONGI is in love with Jin’s girlfriend and you grieve together with YOONGI (who’s your best friend) but accidentally got drunk together and slept with him.”

THERE WILL BE ONE MORE PART TO THIS SCENARIO

WARNINGS: Sexual situations, blood, angst, idiocy, derpiness, general super fluff for whatever reason, also heartbreak. The usual. You know me.

PART TWO


They always said that when your heart was broken it would mend itself by rebounding into new love–feeling whole through a person that was so vastly different than the one you lost or couldn’t have. But, it could be any person really; it honestly did not matter if they were someone different than the last. As long as the rebound was next to you and equally as drunk, then the name and appearance of the person would not stop you from shoving your tongue down their throat. Nor would it remove their hands finding solace in tracing the line of your panties through your skinny jeans.

Granted, you didn’t know who “they” referred to or if “they” even actually said it–if you were sober you would have realized that rebounding was a stupid decision felt by those either inexperienced in love or too intoxicated to care if their best friend was removing their shirt. Well, to be fair to yourself, the alcohol was fooling you into believing that Yoongi was the person that you loved for 90% of you conscious life instead of someone who shared your misery. It was only when you sat with your back pressed up against brick, your ass on top of an old wooden work bench in the supply closet of a bar, and your fingers embedded in Yoongi’s hair (how was that shit so soft?), that you were reminded of the stupid word.

Rebound.

The term had always sounded harsh and negative; it always meant something dangerous–broken hearts and a year’s worth of tears. Well, with several rounds of shots and that cocktail the bartender had railed for you that night fogging your mind, the idea of a rebound sounded amazing. You’d tried everything to lose your feelings for Kim Seokjin, but maybe, maybe this man who tasted like whiskey and soju and smelled like bleach from the nearby shelf would drag those feelings out from your heart and purify the empty cavity for himself.

If you were sober, you would have doubted it, but drunk you was a gullible sap–even to your own inner ramblings.

“We can’t.” You murmured in a second of sobriety–one that was quickly drowned out by the poison of alcohol on Yoongi’s tongue. Despite the statement, you did not pause in your ministrations nor did you try to pull away from the male.

Yoongi, himself, was too far gone for proper speech so he only grunted and, when his hands roamed your sides in just the right, tender way–you fooled yourself into believing that the man you were letting unzip your jeans was, in fact, Seokjin.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY @alexloehr !! ヾ(〃^∇^)ノ♪

NILSA MY ANGEL thank you so much for always being so kind to me, you are a wonderful friend and always manage to make me feel better whenever I have a bad day! I LOVE YOUUUUU !! (´▽`ʃƪ)♡

“Maximum Ride” sentence starters
  • “Man, you weigh a freaking ton. What’ve you been eating, rocks?”
  • “Can I come in?”
  • “We will call you Little One.“
  • “I can talk to fish!”
  • “She doesn’t have a soul. Have you ever seen her dance?”
  • “You were designed to be very smart.”
  • “And yet I still can’t program my DVD player.”
  • “There’s nothing special about him at all.”
  • “Well… He’s a snappy dresser.”
  • “Pick a tree. I’ll carve our initials into it.”
  • “So there you have it: the extent of my charms.”
  • “I don’t damnsel well. Distress, I can do. Damnseling? Not so much.”
  • “I choose you.”
  • “Oh, God, I want to do this all the time.”
  • “Don’t ever leave me again.”
  • “I won’t. I won’t, not ever.”
  • “Come back!”
  • “Wake up! Snap out of it!”
  • “You stupid jerk! I’m going to kill you if you die on me!”
  • “I offered to pee on him, but they said no.”
  • “They call me, The Sharkalator.”
  • “I love you. I looooove you. I love you thiiiiiiiiiis much!”
  • “I once ate nine sicker bars in a row without barfing. It was a record.”
  • “I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahs!”  
  • “Blending is out of the question.”
  • “There is one bright side to this.”
  • “You looove me, you love me this much!”
  • “You are avake, yah?”
  • “And you’re still a jerk, yah?”
  • “You stand out like a fart in a church.”
  • “Where was the catch? ‘Cause I knew one was coming.”
  • “Do you ever have dirty thoughts about spongebob?”
  • “You’re all the same. Count me out.”
  • “Oh great. Yoda captured us.”
  • “Dang, I’m good.”
  • “I feel like I’m going to hurl.”
  • “I feel like I’m going to HURL. Which, even if I wanted to do, I couldn’t do, because I haven’t eaten.”
  • “I can’t even drag myself out of my room.”
  • “You’re a diabolical little pyro, aren’t you?”
  • “If you’re ever feeling a lack of middle-aged white men, just pop into the Capitol.”
  • “Yes, let’s have more testosterone running the country.”
  • “Go to Germany and have kids together.”
  • “Oh. Was I not supposed to say anything?”
  • “I mean, this is pathetic.”
  • “You can help each other. You’re perfect complements to each other.”
  • “Shut up!”
  • “I hear voices, okay?”
  • “If you’re gonna be here, get used to it. Or else keep your distance.”
  • “No, I know. It’s just–”
  • “Their mothers were nobodies.”
  • “Well, you’re right there.”
  • “Yeah, you’re sitting in a tree because you’re fine. That’s easy to see.”
  • “All you need now to make yourself more pathetic is a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream!”
  • “Excuse me? I’m alive too.”
  • “So the first thing we’re going to do —is push you off the roof.”
  • “I am a starfishhhh!”
  • “I don’t care if we have our house, or a cliff ledge, or a cardboard box. Home is wherever we all are, together.”  
  • “If you think I’m going to let you give up on us now, you’ve got another think coming.”
  • “ No! It’s different for you, you don’t know what it’s like…”
  • “You’re coming with us right now, or I swear I will kick your skinny white ass from here to the middle of next week.”
  • “Now get up, before I kill you.”
  • “Well, when you put it that way…”
  • “Is that one of those square ones, in the middle?”  
  • “What’s so funny ‘bout peace, love, and world destruction?”  
  • “I’m not going to die today.”
  • “Time to die.”
  • “Harden your heart.”
  • “Save your world. Love it. Protect it, and respect it and don’t let haters represent it. 
  • “It’s yours! It’s all yours for the taking!”
  • “Don’t leave the saving to anyone else, ever.”
  • “I’m human, do you hear me? It hurts!”
  • “When did they start coming after you?”
  • “I think it was the bomb. That definitely seemed to tick them off.”
  • “Just give it your best shot.”
  • “You know, it sounds like you guys didn’t really think this all the way through.”
  • “Well, I got news for you, nimrod.”
  • “I’m done jumping through your hoops.”
  • “You can tell yourselves that you’re doing all this to save the world, but really you’re just a bunch of psycho puppet-masters who probably didn’t date enough in high school.”
  • “You mean you don’t have one? You can get ‘em at Target.”

how did fat even become ‘ugly’ like????

have u SEEN a big soft tummy

have u SEEN cute jiggly lovehandles

have u ever FELT that warm happy contentment you get when you eat a ton of delicious food

All I Want

Hey guys! So this is my first ever request! To the person who requested this, thank you for sending in the idea! Hopefully this is sort of what you were thinking!

TAGGING: @native-snowflake

If you would like to be tagged in future work just let me know!  Hope you guys enjoy it!

*             *             *             *             *

You smiled as you looked down at the picture of you and Baron on your phone. It was a selfie, of course. You were on the back of his bike and had snapped a picture of the two of you just after a sunset ride together. You posted it to Instagram and tagged him without thinking much of it.

Just minutes later, however, you regretted posting it.

Comments started popping up on the photo, and as you scrolled through them, you felt your chest get a little tighter, and your eyes get watery.

“Fake.”

“Fat.”

“Attention whore.”

“Using Baron”

“Gold digger.”

And those were just some of the things people were saying. You felt your stomach tighten into a knot. Maybe they were right. Maybe you weren’t good enough for him. You had seen comments just like these on other pictures you and Baron posted. You had heard them so many times you were starting to believe them.

Baron was the next big thing in WWE. He had an incredible career of him. He won the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal in his first ever Wrestlemania, and a year later he challenged for the Intercontinental Championship against Dean Ambrose at his second Wrestlemania. He had beaten John Cena. He had been in WWE Championship matches on SmackDown. Everything was looking up for him.

You on the other hand? You were just an average girl. There was nothing special. You worked a regular job. You weren’t a wrestler or a ring announcer. You didn’t even work for WWE. There was nothing special about you. Fans didn’t scream your name. You were just you. Baron could do so much better, but instead, he settled for you.

Baron was doing a house show when the tears started to hit, and it got harder to breathe. You did some breathing exercises like you had been taught to help calm you down. It seemed like it took forever, but eventually, your breathing did slow back down, and the tears dried up. You took a shower and then crawled under the covers and laid there hoping you could fall asleep before Baron got back and realized you had another attack.

You woke up the next morning and rolled over expecting to find Baron, but instead, all you found was a note on the nightstand.

Went to gym with Corey. Meet me for breakfast at 9 downstairs? - B

You took a quick shower and then got dressed. You glanced in the mirror and noticed that your eyes were still a little puffy. You put some eye drops in and added a little extra makeup to cover up the puffiness from crying yourself to sleep.

You glanced at the clock. 8:54. Six minutes until you had to meet Baron. You sprayed a puff of perfume on and then grabbed your purse and headed down to the hotel’s restaurant.

You smiled when you saw Baron sitting at a table for two waiting for you. His lips curved into a small smile as he looked at you. He stood up and wrapped his arms around you.

“Hey, beautiful.” He said.

“Hey you,” you said.

He gave you a quick peck on the lips before the two of you sat down.

Twenty minutes later you looked down at the plate of nearly untouched food in front of you. You picked up the crispy piece of bacon and took a small bite before setting it back on the plate. You moved your scrambled eggs around your plate with your fork and took a few sips of the coffee sat in front of you.

You thought about telling Baron about the fans’ comments but decided against it. He had so much other stuff going on with work right now that it seemed silly to bother him with your problems.

“Why aren’t you eating?” Baron asked motioning to your plate of nearly untouched food.

“I’m just not that hungry.” You said as you pushed the plate away from you.

“You’re never hungry anymore.” He said. “You didn’t eat anything yesterday either.”

“I just haven’t had much of an appetite recently.” You said. Not entirely true. Your stomach had been growling at you for days, but you were trying to lose weight, and eating tons of food wasn’t going to make it happen.

“Did you even touch any of it?” He asked.

“I had some bacon.” You said.

“You sure you aren’t hungry?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll just meet you back at the room, okay?” You said.

It looked like Baron was going to say something, but you stood up and headed back to the room before you could get it out. You stood in front of the mirror staring at yourself. You didn’t see anything special. Why was Baron even with you? Was it pity? All you could see were the imperfections: your thighs, your stomach, your breasts. You bit your lip and tried to hold back the tears.

It was hard constantly being around the divas. They were all in top physical shape. Then there was you. You were just another girl. You didn’t have guys drooling over you. There was nothing special about you.

You sat down on the edge of the bed, and silent tears began to fall. You felt your chest start to tighten as your sobs got louder. It was starting to hurt. Every breath was painful. You were gasping for breath.  It felt like the walls were closing in around you.

The door flew open, and Baron hurried over to you. He kneeled down in front of you and took your hand in his and gently squeezed them.

“Hey, deep breaths. Look at me, babe. Focus on me.” He encouraged. You tried to look at him, but your sobbing made it nearly impossible.

He stood up and pulled you to your feet. He pulled you into his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around you. He kept one around your back while the other held your head to his chest.

“It’s okay. Deep breaths, babe. I’m right here. Breathe with me, okay? Long deep breath in, hold it, hold it, now let it out slowly. Do it again, babe. Deep breath in, hold it, hold it, now let it out slowly.” He encouraged.

You felt the sobs begin to soften as you repeated the breathing exercise with Baron. Having his arms around you helped too. You felt safe. You felt protected.

The two of you stood there for a while until he finally pulled away a little bit so he could look at you.

“You okay?” He asked as he cupped your face and looked into your eyes.

You nodded your head slightly and gave him a small smile.

“You had me scared, babe.” He said.

“I’m sorry,” You murmured.

“Will you talk to me? What’s going on?” He asked.

“You know that picture I posted?” You asked.

“Yeah. What about it?”

“Some fans commented on it. And-“

“Don’t go any further. You can’t listen to what those girls say. They aren’t important. You’re here with me. You’re the one I wake up to every day.” He said.

“But why? Why me?”

“Because I can be myself around you. You let me be weird around you. You’re beautiful, and you have the biggest heart of anyone I know. I love everything about you, Y/n.”

“But why not be with one of the divas who are pretty and have great bodies?”

“Because I don’t want them. I want you.” He said as he wrapped his arms around you again. “You fit perfectly right here in my arms. I don’t care if they have great bodies. They aren’t you. I love your body just the way it is, babe. And as far as being pretty, you’ve got them all beat.”

Your lips curved into a smile as you looked up at him.

“Baron, I love you.” You whispered as you laid your head against his chest.

“I love you too, baby. You’re perfect to me, and you’re all I want.”

I missed that smile …

Kai Parker x Reader

 (593 words , drabble)

(Reader breaks up with her boyfriend and Kai is there for her , in a way she didn’t expect…)

*not my gif

——————————————————-

Y/N sat on her couch , a light blanket covering her knees. A box of chocolates was sitting on the small table nearby. She reached for them but someone snatched them away from her.
“Nah - uh. You are cut off.” a male voice said.
“Give them back ! I need them !” she pleaded. It has been only a few days , she had stopped crying even tho her eyes still hurt. Y/N tried to snatch the box from his hands but he was way too fast for her.
Kai put the chocolates out of Y/N’s reach and sat on the other end of the couch , pulling the blanket so it covered his knees too. Y/N was pouting. A small smile showed up on his face before he spoke.
“Look , I know your boyfriend broke up with you … but eating a ton of chocolate is not going to make the pain go away.” Y/N stared at him for a few moments trying to decide what to say and in the end she just sighed. She had to admit it - he was right .. and all the chocolates did was made her feel sticky.
“Fine. Keep the chocolates.” Y/N said as she got up and went to the small cupboard at the other end of the room , opened it and grabbed a bottle of bourbon. “That will have to do then.” she muttered to herself. A blink of an eye later Kai was standing next to her , the bottle in his hand.  He chuckled and shook his head disapprovingly. Y/N let out a frustrated scream.
“Malachai Parker … ” she started “… what part of ‘I am in pain’ don’t you understand?!”  she said walking back to the couch. Sometimes Kai was really getting on her nerves. Emotions were new to him but still , why couldn’t he grasp the concept that she was just trying to shut down the pain , drown it somehow. He had offered to compell the pain away but she had said no. It didn’t seem fair to her.
“I don’t want an easy way out…” Y/N had told him.

Kai returned the bottle where it belonged and caught up with her in a split second using his vampire speed. He grabbed her hand and made her hurt around.
“I have an idea …” he said wrapping his hands around her waist and pulling her closer.  "… about something that might take your mind off of this.“ A mischievous smile on his face. 
”What do yo- “ she started to say but never got the chance to finish.
Y/N was so startled at first , she couldn’t register what was happening. Kai had leaned in and kissed her. She pulled back confused and a little shocked. Locking eyes with his she felt happiness flow through her for the first time in days ,only somehow magnified. Kai started saying something but he barely managed to being opening his mouth when she kissed him. He slowly backed her to the couch , climbing on top of her never breaking the kiss. Y/N pulled his body closer to hers. It felt as if electricity was coursing through her veins and she wanted more. She wanted this moment never to end. Far too soon for Y/N’s liking ,  Kai pulled away. He was smiling and Y/N was smiling too.
“There it is!” he said grinning. “I missed that smile !”
“Shhh…” Y/N shushed him “Just kiss me again.” she whispered smiling , pulling him closer again.


NOTE :  This is my first drabble / super short story , hope you guys like it ! :)

Sunless Sea: The Experience

-discovering a really beautiful new island for the first time
-discovering something really fucking unsettling for the first time
-having 90+ Terror = continuous distressed yelling all the way back to London
-NOT REALIZING YOU HAVE HIGH TERROR TILL THE MUSIC STARTS 
-yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes
-Ok this place has a way to reduce terror
-It’s very expensive but that’s fine
-This is fine!
-Blemmigans.
-Becoming Captain Mushroom.
-Finally being able to afford a fancy new engine!
-Realizing that your fancy new engine eats a ton of fuel and you were not prepared At All
-Discovering the Salt Lions and playing Shipping Simulator for like an hour
-Literally selling other people’s souls to devils
-Running out of supplies in the middle of the godforsaken ocean and watching your crew descend into uncontrollable cannibalism
- a n x i e t y
-rat mechanics
-Taking a bunch of wine to Venderbight and getting so lit you have an existential crisis
-going to Nook, getting buck-ass naked, kicking someone’s ass for a glowing rock and joining an orgy
-squid boyfriend
-canon gays
-canon trans folks
-CANON NON-BINARY FOLKS
- N I C E
- Irem. Just… everything about Irem.
- A Mirrorcatch Box Full of Very Angry Dream Snakes
- Making notes to yourself so you don’t forget what you were doing the last time you played
-dying. again.

(play Sunless Sea the fandom for this game is TOO SMALL there aren’t even any memes in the tag yet)

Vain (Part 3) - Jughead Jones

Part 1 - Part 2

Yay it’s finally here! Pretty sure if I waited any longer I would be skinned alive. There is also now a taglist at the bottom from people who have requested to be tagged, so feel free to message/ask me about that :) I also put @mrsjugheadjonesthethird there because the little cinnamon roll is Vain trash.

Oh and let’s appreciate that Doiley autocorrected to Toilet multiple times during this.

Warnings: - Swears

Jughead x Reader (still no romance, pacing my friends)

Words: 2,287

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” You groaned, looking back and forth between Betty and Jughead, who was already making a b-line for the door.

“Wait wait wait, Juggy come back!” Betty called out, causing his shoulders to sink as he huffed out and spun around on his heel to face the two of you. He shrugged, as if daring Betty to persuade him to stay.

Betty sighed, walking forward to stand in-between the two of you, who were now facing it off in a glaring contest. “You guys, listen. I don’t know about you, but something as big as Jason Blossom’s now confirmed murder doesn’t happen in small towns like these. There’s something big going on here, and I know the both of you are at least a little bit curious, besides you heard Miss Paige! You’re both such talented writers and the two of you working together could be a miracle!” she continued.

Keep reading

Badass Baby (Winn Schott x reader)

Request:  Hi! I was wondering if you could do a Drabble or one shot with Winn Schott where the Reader and Winn go around town with the reader’s baby nephew or niece and they keep getting compliments on how cute of a family they are and at the end of the day the Reader tells Winn she’s pregnant. Thanks

Prompt: After a day hanging out with Winn and your baby niece you tell him about your pregnancy. 

Words: 768

Warning: none?reader is pregnant.  

A/n: sorry it took me so long I have 0 motivation recently. Happy Readings!

Originally posted by my-allisondiamond-world

You sat down on your couch waiting for Winn to return with the Puerto Rican food from the diner down the street. You knew you had to tell him today about being pregnant and you were nervous about what his reaction would be but as I stared at the blank tv in front of me my mind went back to the events of this afternoon.


You sipped from your coffee as Winn eats his donut and your baby niece Chloe slept in her stroller.

“You should’ve seen the tech it was badass!” Winn grins as he continued eating.

“Winn, babe, you think all alien tech is badass.” you laugh and he laughs and puts his hand on his heart as if he was offended.

“No, I don’t.”

“Name one alien weapon that you didn’t think was awesome or badass.”

“That’s- that’s not fair. Not fair at all but to prove you wrong, I’d say the-”he started, but got interrupted by a loud bang from plates falling in the kitchen. Not a second later Chloe woke up crying startled by the sound.

“Oh, no.” you groaned. You had really hoped she would sleep for a few more hours since she was up most of the morning.

“I got this, don’t worry. I’m like the baby whisperer.” He picked her up from the bed and rocked her in his arms, singing softly in her ear something that I couldn’t hear over the cafe chatter. Chloe stopped crying and after a minute or two slowly closed her eyes again.

“Wow, that was-”

“Well, aren’t you guys a cute family?” a old lady said as she walked past us towards the exit.

“Oh, we aren’t-”

“This isn’t our baby, our baby would hopefully cry a lot less.” Winn jokes but sent my hair beating fast. Did he know something?

“You are really good with kids.” you say as the lady walks away.

“Yep, like I said baby whisperer.” he smiles and places Chloe back into her stroller.

“My brother should be coming by the house to pick her up soon, we should get going.” you say looking at the clock on your phone.

“Actually, I need to head back to the DEO but I will be back to tonight with some diner.”


“Y/N!”

You turn to your side to see Winn standing there confused, holding the two bags of food.

“What?”

“I brought dinner as promised. I was calling your name like 5 times, are you okay?” he asks with a concerned look on his face as he set the food down at the dining table.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just really deep in thought, I guess.”

He smiles and walks over to you placing a gentle kiss on your forehead before returning to the food. You grab some plates and place them down with forks and spoons not being sure what he ordered.

“No forks for me, I’m eating some rice and no spoons for you, I got you a ton of mofongo since you love that stuff.” You smile and turn around to put a fork and a spoon away. Maybe it was time to tell him. Maybe he would be happy. Or maybe he wouldn’t be. We had only been dating for two years, which is a lot, but now seems like not enough time before dropping news of this magnitude.

“Winn before we eat there is something I need to tell you.” you watched him nervously as he put your food on your plate.

“Sure, babe.” he then reached for his rice container and opened it letting the contents spill into his plate carefully.

“No easy way to say this so I’m just going to have to say it.” he turn to me with a terrified expression and he set his container down.

“Oh, god. Are you-”

“I’m pregnant.”

“Wait, you weren’t dumping me? Oh, thank god. Kara said you had been acting strangely and asking all sorts of weird questions about me and- Wait! You are pregnant?!” he exclaims his once panic face became in just seconds relieved and the next thing he is..happy?

“Yes? I mean, yes I am but you are taking this a lot less freaking out than I imagined.”

“Freaking out? No, I’m happy. I love you, Y/N, and if you want this then awesome because it’s something I’d definitely wanted in the future for us.” he runs to my side and cups your face in his hands gently.

“Really?” you say, barely above a whisper.

“Yes, our baby is going to be the most badass baby in the world.”