you dont know me you dont know my life

Maybe all she needed was for you to hold her. Maybe that’s all it would have taken for her to feel safe. Instead you used her, you confused her. You are the reason she will never trust again. Because just as she thought you’d hold her, you threw her to the ground…
—  and left her there

man, fuck mentally ill tumblr and their anti-recovery statements

i am severely mentally ill. i totally could stay in bed all day and not do anything.

but you know what? i push myself to do shit to feel better. i try to eat at least one meal a day, take my meds. i push myself to go outside and socialize with people. because that is what my brain needs to recover.

you can call this “neurotypical bullshit” but you know what? i dont want to be ill. i dont want to be miserable my whole life. i want to fucking improve and be happy and do the best i can to support people around me.

  • me: i think i like this character
  • character: dies
  • me: ok you know what? fuck this. i dont deserve this. do you know who i am? im a good person. i havent done anyone wrogn in my life. i dont deserve to go through this. i dont deserve this. i dont deserv

bts’ 바다 is melancholy and loss and gratitude and longing and love stripped to the very bone, it’s soulmates and the past friends and the new faces that will soon have the most familiar smile of your life; it’s the unshed tears when you see someone off for the last time at midnight and it’s letting them roll down your cheeks hours later; it’s holding someone’s hand so strong you feel like you’re going to break it, and it’s the hand that squeezes right back to tell you that after all the hardships you lived through, you are going to be alright; it’s your silent secret in the darkness, it’s the ache in your chest that follows you each time you fill your lungs with the fresh humid air; it’s careless running and happy tears and bengal lights, its sparkles joining the stars in the night sky as your laughter echoes on the empty beach, your hearts beating as one

the people that are next to you are your world, your life, your hope, your sea


in the year 21XX

the song Zero is singing is Light Up The Night by The Protomen, which I guess I found fitting?

I posted this earlier on Twitter (@ Strike315) so this is mainly me just making sure it’s also here before I forget. I hope you enjoy! ovo )/

i saw my psychiatrist today for the first time in like a year and mentioned im moving to the UK and she was like “any particular reason?” and i guess a part of me was like i remember this person shes actually super cool bc i usually avoid talking abotu it w strangers but i was like “im getting married” 

and later she goes, “i assume it’s a he?”

and it was the best possible thing bc she was implicitly giving me the opportunity to say, no, actually! and it was SUCH A RELIEF telling strangers im getting married is always so weird bc i dont wanna like out myself to ppl??? who have like a part of my life in their control at the time we are talking especially LMFAO

but yeah so i was like no actually its a girlfriend and my psych looked SO HAPPY and honestly i havent had a lot of opportunities to feel really? safe? and excited? about all this yet like PUBLICLY, its all so unfamiliar to p much anybody i meet, moving across the entire world for this thing i really AM excited for, but like, its gay and coming out to people is terrifying.

anyway the moral of the story is: someone made me feel safe and happy about my gay marriage today and also this person seems super competent in getting me to a place where i am physically and mentally healthier and im so bummed out that i only get to see her for a handful more months bc she earned so many points w me today haha…

Why do customers always think “let me check with my manager” is mouthing off instead of what it really is: me covering my ass.

I wouldn’t check with them if I thought confirming something on my own was within my authority and wouldn’t put my job at risk. I’m shifting accountability bc even after three years of working hard my job is still precarious yayyy

one direction's song titles
as sung by one direction
one direction's song titles

(an updated version of this post

what makes you beautiful / gotta be you / one thing / more than this / up all night / i wish / tell me a lie / taken / i want / everything about you / same mistakes / save you tonight / stole my heart / stand up / moments / another world / na na na / i should’ve kissed you / forever young / live while we’re young / kiss you / little things / cmon cmon / last first kiss / heart attack / rock me / change my mind / i would / over again / back for you / they dont know about us / summer love / shes not afraid / loved you first / nobody compares / still the one / truly madly deeply / magic / irresistible /one way or another / best song ever / story of my life / diana / midnight memories / you & i / dont forget where you belong / strong / happily / right now / little black dress / through the dark / something great / little white lies / better than words / why dont we go there / does he know / alive / half a heart / steal my girl / ready to run / where do broken hearts go / 18 / girl almighty / fools gold / night changes / no control / fireproof / spaces / stockholm syndrome / clouds / change your ticket / illusion / once in a lifetime / act my age / home / hey angel / drag me down / perfect / infinity / end of the day / if i could fly / long way down / never enough / olivia / what a feeling / love you goodbye / i want to write you a song / history / temporary fix / walking in the wind / wolves / am / just cant let her go

the different types of “listening to LWYMMD”

  • dancing EVERYWHERE
  • choreographed dancing
  • general shock about the sound change
  • just waiting for the ‘oh, cuz she’s dead’ part
  • “i forgot i was still listening to it but i dont mind”
  • i relate….i must burn their crops. i dont know who they are but i must
  • i think i may have broken my neck im gonna relax for a little bit
  • alright let’s go for the background vocals this time!!! 5,6,7,8…!!!!
  • do you think my depression and anxiety know this song was written about them?
  • i would put my whole ass life on the line for taylor swift
  • tHis biTCh iS CRAzYYYYYY
  • (329858135135715 listens later) okay just one more listen
  • i am scared 
  • bless jack antonoff 

“to see you do that laugh behind your hand that you do, like you think you shouldn’t be smiling”

Yeah. More SLGN inspired shit. Get used to it I duckin love this fic and I love these boys ugh

its a matter of privacy, and choice

i generally like being open about my illness but, there are questions i might not like to answer sometimes/at all.

the problem isnt that im not as open as i should be. the problem isnt me being unprepared when im being asked something involving my illness.

the problem is that abled people, whetherbyoure open about your illness or not, feel entitled to answers, even ones you dont want to give, because they dont acknowledge that privacy is a factor, and so is choice.

maybe i want my privacy with that specific question, maybe i just dont want to answer right now, it doesnt matter, you dont get to know what they dont want you to know, and youre not entitled to an explanation as to why they wont answer your questions.

because people arent entitled to your life and your illness.

let disabled people be as open or as closed off as they want to be about their illness.

normalize disabled people having a right to privacy. because with our ableist society, often they are not allowed to have even that and are considered rude for wanting to choose who does and doesnt know about their life and their illness

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @amazingphil!